Previously on the Ins and Outs of AEW Dynamite: Matt Hardy revealed that he’s a 3,000 year old spirit who hung out with Jesus Christ’s disciples and has the ability to teleport, although that was later retconned into a Mysterio in Spider-Man: Far From Home-style drone illusion. Also, the Cultist Beaver Boys learned that DADDY EATS FIRST.

If you’d like to keep up with this column and its thinly veiled Best and Worst format, you can keep tabs on the Ins and Outs of AEW Dynamite tag page. I’m also recapping Dark, which you can keep up with here, and you can keep track of all things All Elite here.

Follow With Spandex on Twitter and Facebook. You can also follow me on Twitter, where everything and everyone is terrible.

And now, the Ins and Outs of All Elite Wrestling Dynamite for April 1, 2020.

Mostly In: Trent (Almost) Goes The Distance

Man, wrestling Kenny Omega in AEW right now must be like playing against Bo Jackson in Tecmo Bowl. He’s going to run circles around you and all your friends, and even if you manage to touch him he’s just going to shrug it off and keep running. Last week he completely no-sold Sammy Guevara’s version of Feast Your Eyes (which we learned on Dark is actually Sammy’s finisher now), and this week he takes a snap half-nelson suplex from Trent, immediately gets to his feet, and does that little hop in place to regain 100% of his HP and start throwing V-Triggers. Infuriating. Undertaker could throw Kenny Omega off the top of Hell in Cell and Kenny would hit the ground, roll up to his feet, hop in place with his hands posed, and knee Undertaker in the face 20 feet in the air.

That aside — and I complained about Omega not being treated like the “best bout machine” when AEW started, so I guess I’m getting what I asked for, for better or worse — Omega vs. Trent is another one of those very good Trent matches that almost transforms him into a viable singles threat who seriously needs to get away from his jokey pals for the sake of his career. It’s also a great effort to play with AEW’s time limit draw, as they pull a Bryan Danielson vs. Roderick Strong from ROH and convince you it’s going the distance only to pull back and end it in the final minute. Usually in wrestling you only pay attention to those “FIVE MINUTES REMAINING IN THE MATCH, FIVE MINUTES” notices if they need you to notice the time limit. Introducing them and giving us a finish anyway creates some believable options for the next time you want to go to a draw, but maintain the drama in the final stretch. Good decision there.

I should also mention that terrifying German suplex off the ropes Trent tries to do but slips, can’t quite get his bearings, and dumps Kenny on his neck. Kenny landed like this. But don’t worry, within 40 seconds Kenny’s using only his neck to lift Trent up for the One-Winged Angel. Best bouts!

Also Mostly In: Blue Jayy

Not much going on in the women’s division this week — stop me if you’ve heard this one before — but we do get a match between Hikaru Shida and jobber of the week Anna Jayy. If you’ve never seen her before, Jayy has too many extraneous letters in her last name a la NWA Powerrr, Chippendales-style wrist cuffs, and a Fantastics-style bow tie. A tie and cuffs with no shirt officially makes her the most Hanna Barbera competitor on the AEW roster. She also advertises herself as, “the star of the show,” so think of her as Domestic Nina Samuels.

Jayy gets more offense than you’d expect(t), but it’s still a relatively easy win for Shida as they continue to … maybe build her up as Nyla Rose’s next challenger? It’s been a hot minute since the women’s division had any stories other than “a match has been scheduled” and “Britt Baker’s being mean to Tony Schiavone.” Britt’s actually the highlight here too, I think, as she hangs out behind the security banner and eats a sandwich because the match is boring. Cody refers to her as Tony Schiavone’s “mirror universe wife,” which makes me hope there’s some reality where Tony has long hair and runs the Undisputed Era.

All In: Lance Archer Versus [Checks Notes] MARKO STUNT?

Notes:

• This is Archer’s AEW in-ring debut and he’s still using ‘Everybody Dies’ as his entrance theme, meaning he’s immediately in the top 5 for best themes behind Chris Jericho and probably Faboo Andre
• he’s also still randomly assaulting people on his way to the ring, which is going to get over huge once they start doing it in actual arenas in front of actual fans, and don’t have to throw some rando Red Shirt out there to get shoved and put into a coma
• I’m happy they’ve found a way to keep Jake Roberts on the show and cutting promos without endangering his health
• Archer’s opponent is Marko Stunt in what’s officially the most unfair wrestling match of all time, at least until Riho gets booked against Brock Lesnar
• Cody’s got blood on his hands for refusing to face Archer here and instead volunteering a literal child in his place. Marko Stunt wrestling Lance Archer is like a squirrel in the middle of the street wrestling a semi truck
• RIP Marko Stunt, 1996-2020

Colt Cabana sits in on commentary ahead of his first round TNT Championship tournament match-up against Archer and declares, “I will use my comedy, I will use my humor, I will use it all to gain a victory!” There’s also a six-foot deep rectangular hole somebody dug into the earth you’ll be able to use, Colt.

All In: AEW Goes To The Dogs

Firstly, it’s good to see Nightmare Family mascot and philanthropic humanitarian Pharaoh back on the program looking happy and staying very far away from the fireworks. By just gently poking his snoot into the microphone he’s already better on commentary than Sam Roberts.

Secondly …

I didn’t think Chris Jericho and Damascus would be able to top last week’s truly absurd closing segment so quickly, but here we are. I honestly think the only way I can do it justice is by telling you what happened.

Chris Jericho is once again at his home, in the hot tub, in jeans, drinking A Little Bit Of The Bubbly. He has fun shitting on The Elite by saying April Fool’s Day is meant to honor them, then talks about Nick Jackson’s bebe and how he should stay at home for the next two years on “maternity leave” and hire his “deadbeat brother Matt” to mow his lawn. It’s at about this time Vanguard-1 flies in (to “Parts Unknown,” according to his HUD). I want to note how appreciative I am that they explained how Jericho sent in footage and Hardy sent in footage, and the AEW production team put them together. In all seriousness, even if it’s total bullshit, take a second to mention things like why a camera is somewhere, or why a referee is suddenly somewhere, or how a seemingly live event has multiple camera angles. It matters to anybody thinking about it on a level deeper than pointing and clapping at the baby in the sun on Teletubbies.

Anyway, Jericho once again offers Matt Hardy’s sentient drone a spot in the Inner Circle and offers it a CHILDREN’S T-SHIRT ON A TINY HANGER to seal the deal. Honestly at this point I want Vanguard to swerve Matt at some point and join them. Jericho offers the inanimate object a “handshake” in the form of an “elbow-to-propeller” bash, but Vanguard flies away. Jericho, pissed about being turned down by a flying camera for the second week in row, chases after and lobs a bottle of sparking wine at it. It’s at this point he screams RELEASE THE HOUNDS, and we find out “the hounds” are a group of the smallest, cutest, and least threatening dogs imaginable.

I am forever grateful that someone at All Elite Wrestling decided to gently place heel Chris Jericho into Matt Hardy’s Broken Universe. I want this feud to continue in increasingly goofy on-location vignettes until there’s enough lore to fill a George R.R. Martin book. Also, somebody identify and tell me the personalities of all these doggos.

All In: I Tournament To Do That

After another “Brodie Lee is Vince McMahon, wink wink, nudge nudge” video, The Natural Nightmares make their Dynamite debut against, I am not kidding, “Dark Order member 8” and “Dark Order member 9.” Here’s what they look like:

I can’t tell you how excited I am to see nondescript masked men make their return to enhancement duty. BRING BACK THUNDERFOOT. They get their asses kicked, of course, and it looks like we’re either getting a Natural Nightmares vs. Important Characters From The Dark Order feud, or at least providing a reason why Dustin Rhodes might lose to Kip Sabian in the first round of the TNT Championship tournament.

My only complaint here is that Number 8 and Number 9 don’t work for the Monarch of Manliness. I wonder if one of them drives a Nissan Stanza?

Similarly, another Rhodes match is used to set up some tournament interaction this week as Cody teams up with his frenemy Darby Allin to face Sammy Guevara and Shawn Spears. Darby’s the star here, as he usually ends up being, playing Ricky Morton in jorts and leggings and dropping Coffins off the tops of support poles in the Undisclosed Arena. Brother’s just bonkers every time he’s on television.

After about 21 minutes of very good tag team wrestling (and Britt Baker attacking Cody with the WOMAN’S SHOE, the only weapon in pro wrestling deadlier than the Clangy Poles), Sammy introduces a chair and gives it to Spears, who once again aims to turn Cody’s brains into figgy pudding. Darby pulls the chair away from Spears before he can swing it, but Sammy pulls the chair away from HIM, and that allows Spears to roll him up for the three. Darby, rightfully pissed that he did most of the work and made an important save but still got duked in a total 2-on-1 situation, forearms Cody in the face. I mean, I get it.

Now we’ve got addeed drama between Cody and Shawn Spears for their first round match in the tournament because of the attempted chair shot, added drama between Guevara and Allin because of the way the finish went down, AND added drama between Cody and Darby for a possible second round match. Outstandingly utilitarian and purposeful for an empty arena tag match. I’m used to those just kind of happening to justify promos from the top of the show.

All In: Top 10 Comments Of The Week

TRB

Put Jericho in the wrestling hall of fame & then put him in again

AddMayne

I do not care what anyone says. I don’t care what happens. I have no idea what will happen in AEW’s future. Or even what will happen in Wrestling’s future. Chris Jericho chasing a drone and angrily cursing it has made it all worth it.

CFCarboni

Dustin better pin both at once. Everyone knows you have to stand on 17.

Dave M J

The perfect woman doesn’t exi-

Cody: (Shida) has all the Zelda knowledge in the world

troi

Dexter Lumis looks like a guy who is gonna have to apologize for old social media posts

Jaybone2

COLT: That’s not gonna happen to me when I face Archer.

ALSO COLT:

Baron

Jericho pours a glass of champagne….and then takes a swig out of the bottle. WHAT A HEEL!

FeltLuke

No “Holy Shit” chant? These fans are the worst.

SexCauldron

Don’t call Cody Joe Exotic. Joe has better tattoos

Clay Quartermain

Stay safe everyone, I’ll talk to you all again …………………………………………..
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………
…………………. next Wednesday night!

Finally, I’m not particularly engaged in the OH NO WILL THE YOUNG BUCKS EVER WRESTLE AGAIN AFTER ONE OF THEM GOT STUCK IN A LOADING BAY DOOR story or the Jon Moxley vs. Jake Hager rivalry, but I AM engaged in the idea that Moxley and Hager have “listened to the Jerky Boys for hours on end” with each other. I didn’t know that before, but I feel like I’ve always known it, you know? AEW’s next podcast needs to be Hager and Moxley talking about old Jerky Boys bits. Also, I totally believe it when Hager says, “I’m not here for fans to go home happy.” I know, man, I’ve seen your matches.

That does it for this week’s column. Thanks for reading about Dynamite! If you’re able to leave us a comment below, give the column a share on social media, and make sure you’re back here next week. Oh, and make sure you’re reading about Dark, because again, FABOO ANDRE, YOU GUYS.

See you next Wednesday, unless there’s something happening this weekend we’re supposed to be watching.

If you’ve exhausted your Netflix playlist while self-isolating or are simply looking for some out-of-the-box entertainment ideas, Open Culture has over 1150 films you can watch for free, most of them are streamable to your TV via Chromecast or Airdrop.

Many of them are older films that have become public domain, but that doesn’t mean they’re not wonderful to watch. The site has a huge selection of documentaries, westerns, ’30s and ’40s film noir, Hitcock films, and Oscar-winners.

Open Culture also has free lectures, eBooks, K-12 educational materials, and business classes.

Browsing the website is basically like hanging out at your local library.

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Eleven-hundred movies are a lot to browse through, so here are 10 recommendations to get you started.

via TCM / Twitter

“Charade” (1963) — Audrey Hepburn’s career was short, but just about everything she did was pure magic. In this comedic thriller, Hepburn plays a widow being chased by several men who want a fortune her husband stole during the war. The only person she can trust is a suave, mysterious man played by Cary Grant.

“The 39 Steps” (1935) — One of Alfred Hitchcock’s early masterpieces, “The 39 Steps” is a classic wrong-man thriller about a guy who stumbles upon a conspiracy that thrusts him into a hectic chase across Scottish moors.

via Wikimedia Commons

“The Stranger” (1946) — Orson Welles directed and stars in this film about an ex-Nazi who hides out in a small town masquerading as a teacher. But when one of his old German associates rolls into town, he has to resort to desperate measures to hide his secret. The iconic Edward G. Robinson also stars in this classic.

via Wikimedia Commons

“Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959)” — Ed Wood is often regarded as the worst filmmaker in history and was immortalized in a 1994 biopic starring Johnny Depp and directed by Tim Burton. “Plan 9 from Outer Space,” a film about grave digging space aliens, is often cited as Wood’s signature cinematic achievement. Bela Lugosi has a small role in the film.

via Medium

“The Giving Tree” (1973) — This animated adaptation of Shel Silverstein’s heart-wrenching tale of a boy and a tree is narrated by the author. Anyone who grew up in the ’70s and ’80s probably remembers watching it in school.

via Wikimedia Commons

“The Complete Star Wars Filmumentaries” (1977 to 1983) — Three documentary-commentaries of the original “Star Wars” trilogy are a must-see for any true nerd. The documentaries feature deleted scenes, alternate takes, bloopers, original on set audio recordings and a huge amount of commentary from cast and crew.

via YouTube

“Heavy Metal Parking Lot” (1986) — This short documentary about young heavy metal fans gathered for a tailgate party outside the Capital Centre in Landover, Maryland before a Judas Priest concert became a cult classic in the ’90s.

via Wikimedia Commons

“Reefer Madness” (1936) — This so-bad-its-good film was meant to scare kids in the ’30s about smoking marijuana. It follows the melodramatic events that ensue when high-school students are lured by pushers to try marijuana—from a hit and run accident, to manslaughter, suicide, attempted rape, hallucinations, and descent into madness from marijuana addiction. In the ’70s it became a cult classic with potheads as an unintentional satire.

via Wikimedia Commons

“His Girl Friday” (1940) — Howard Hawks directed this fast-talking comedy about a reporter (Rosalind Russell) and her editor/ ex-husband (Cary Grant) who uses an alluring scoop to keep her from marrying another man. Russell’s portrayal of a strong, smart woman has been praised for being decades ahead of its time.

via Wikimedia Commons

“The Man with the The Golden Arm” (1955) — Frank Sinatra was nominated for an Academy Award for his portrayal of an ex-heroin addict attempting to stay clean after being released from prison. The film is best remembered for a harrowing scene in which Sinatra tries to go cold turkey.

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View Entire Post ›

Cardi B was temporarily hospitalized due to stomach pain at the end of March, tweeting and deleting that she’d had “real bad stomach problems for 4 days.” TMZ captured the tweet before it disappeared, noting that Cardi’s stomach pain must have been truly as bad as she said if she was willing to risk the emergency room during the midst of the ongoing coronavirus crisis, which she noted had her extremely scared.

Fortunately, she noted in the same tweet that after going to the ER, she’s “feeling way better” and hoped “tomorrow I will feel no more pain.” As noted by TMZ, she’s already back to her usual social media shenanigans, posting a Donald Duck meme on Twitter earlier today and teasing fans with raunchy jokes about the whereabouts of her sophomore album.

Speaking of Cardi’s social media, yesterday Variety reported that half of Instgram’s top ten most watched videos came from Cardi’s corona content — which shouldn’t come as much of a surprise. Her original coronavirus rant was so popular among fans, it was sampled and transformed into an EDM track that actually reached the Billboard charts, prompting Cardi to commit the proceeds to charity.

Follow more of Uproxx’s coronavirus coverage here.

Cardi B is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

The RX is Uproxx Music’s stamp of approval for the best albums, songs, and music stories throughout the year. Inclusion in this category is the highest distinction we can bestow, and signals the most important music being released throughout the year. The RX is the music you need, right now.

On her towering third album, Lorely Rodriguez brushes off the idea that she’d follow the naming conventions that had graced her records thus far — her debut release, Me came out in 2015 and was quickly followed up by Us in 2018. “Someone on Twitter was like ‘I thought this was going to be called We or Them or They, and I wrote back ‘why would I be so obvious?’” Rodriguez explained over the phone last week, when we spoke about her forthcoming third album, I’m Your Empress Of. “Basically, I wrote the title track, and I was like ‘this is the record title now.’ Once I wrote that song, I knew I would have to call the record that.”

During that brief but powerful opening track, and elsewhere across her third release, Lorely enlisted her mother, Reina, for a series of spoken word segments that outline her struggles as an immigrant who learned English, and her pride in the many worlds and selves that her daughter has been able to create. “I only have one girl,” Reina says on the track. “But that only girl is like having thousands of girls, because look at how many times she reproduces herself in each one of you!” Hearing a mother take pride in her daughter’s art is always poignant, but in the midst of a global crisis that threatens the most vulnerable among us, Reina’s words are even more uplifting.

Discussing her new album in the midst of the spread of Coronavirus, Lorely is adamant that it still be released, and that staying positive and focusing on edifying things like art and music is how we get through this. “We talked about pushing it back, but we all decided this is the record, this is the vibe of the record,” she explained. “I’m okay with it because I think it will be good to have new music out and give people something they can live with. But also, this record was written so immediately and urgently, I think putting it out like this is a true testament to how the record was made.”

Read an edited and condensed of our conversation about I’m Your Empress Of below.

The first thing that really struck me about this record is album title, and that plays into your artist name in such a direct way. Following up your debut Me and second album Us, what made you want to echo or repeat your artist name for this album title?

I think it’s a statement, and even more of a statement than when someone self-titles their album. I feel like it’s an arrival point where I have this confidence on this record. I wanted to open a record like that. I know why it’s called I’m Your Empress Of, and the title track and what my mom says and all that.

Let’s talk about that song, because I think there’s some pretty moving reflections on the power of language from your mom, and her voice also returns at different times throughout the record. Can you talk a little bit about having her as a speaker and why you wanted her words helping introduce the record?

Yeah, definitely. I wrote the song, and I was just like, ‘Hey, mom, can you come over? I want to record you talking for my album.’ So she comes over, and she’s like, ‘What do you want me to say?’ And I’m like, ‘You’re always saying so much about everything!’ I asked her talk about being a woman, to talk about being an immigrant, and talk about being a mother and a lover. So she kind of just like, over a 20-minute loop of the track, just went off. She just said things that I was even like ‘Okay! Okay, Mom!’ I have videos on my phone of her, I’ll post them after the record’s out.

I didn’t tell her anything to say. I didn’t prompt her. She just said a lot of things that I feel are universal as a woman. She really captured the theme of the record when she says ‘I only have one girl, but it’s like I have thousands of girls, because of how many times she reproduces herself in each one of you.’ It’s something that she’s seen from coming to my shows in LA — like how my songs have become other people’s lives, like their stories. That’s something I feel is really powerful about songwriting. Once those songs are written, they’re someone else’s form of expression. Someone else sees themself in those songs. That’s why it’s called I’m Your Empress Of.

I know you talked a lot before about feeling grateful to her, knowing the experience of your parents as immigrants coming here to give you a different life, but I think it’s so powerful to hear her. We’ve heard your thankfulness for them, but to hear her thankfulness back, her reaction to you, it was just so amazing to hear. It’s really emotional.

When I finished the first track, I felt like I did something very special, that really showed who I was culturally and as an artist and as a daughter. I’ve played it for a couple of my friends in LA, and they cried, because they’re my friends who grew up in LA with immigrant parents. They were like, ‘Oh, my gosh, this is my mom. This is also my mom.’ They felt like it resonated with them so much. It’s just so nice to make something that captures so much of who I am.

Let’s talk about the lead single, “Give Me Another Chance.” Why did you want that to be the song that introduced the album?

First, it’s my favorite song on the record. There is so much confidence on this record because I’m singing about things that are embarrassing and kind of vulnerable — like about begging someone to take you back, the text to your ex at two AM, or the rebound hookup. A lot of vulnerable things are on this record. I thought that song talked about a very desperate moment for me in a confident way. And I think that’s like growth as an artist, where you can lyrically sing about things that are new and also vulnerable, that gritty area that you don’t really want people to see. There’s a sexiness in the desperation.

Your work has always sort of skirted the line with indie pop and electronic music, but it feels like this album really recommits to the dance floor in a serious way. Can you talk a little bit about that sonic shift, or maybe what the progression feels like for you?

I think it sounds like that because I produced most of it. I made a lot of these beats while touring my second album, Us. I made a lot of them on airplanes and tour sprinters and green rooms, so I didn’t have that same collaborative process as like, Us. It was just out of necessity, because I wanted to say these things. I had these things to get off my chest. I wanted to write songs because it made me feel better. Naturally, as a producer, I love those BPMs. I love 120 BPM. I love classic drum machine sounds. That’s how I produce. You can hear that on my first record, Me, on like “How Do You Do It.” On this record, I feel like I’m 2.0. I’m doing a lot of things that sound like Empress Of productions, but it’s just like 2.0 — that’s naturally where I live. I think dancing is healing, and I think a driving rhythm is healing. This record is a very cathartic record. I lived in that space of writing very groove-centered beats and then saying embarrassing, vulnerable shit over it.

What does it look and feel like to produce an album on your own? You’re starting when you’re on the road, and then do you take it back into a studio? What is that process like for you for this time?

If you looked at the initial demo folders for this album, it’s all flights. The folder’s called new demos 2019, and all of the session folders are like “flight to Gothenburg,” “flight to Dublin,” and “flight to London.” When I first started working on this record, when I got back to my house, I was like okay, I want to hook it up to this beat and try writing over it. I have a studio at my house, so I would open like, “flight to Gothenburg” and that would be like “Give Me Another Chance.” I’d come home and kind of rework those things that I wrote on the road once I had the space and clarity to write lyrics and the melodies. I think I need space to write songs. I can do production, but I really need the space to understand what I’m going through.

Obviously, the world has turned upside down with response to coronavirus. How are you coping and holding up? How does it feel to release an album right now?.

I think being positive is such an important thing, and positivity is infectious. I think we should be spreading that in our community, like in the music industry and arts community, and with friends who have restaurants and all of that. I just think being positive and supportive is what everyone can use right now. But yeah, it’s been crazy. I announced my record a month ago, and my whole life has changed for this year, not being able to tour and not being able to promote this record in the way I want to, but this is reality, and this is the story of this album. I’m a lifelong artist, and I’m going to make a lot of albums. This is just one piece of the story.

I’m Your Empress Of is out 4/3 via Terrible Records. Get it here.

Train to Busan is the one of the better zombie movies in recent memory. Directed by Yeon Sang-ho, the claustrophobic Korean horror flick is about, well, a train to Busan, and the passengers aboard who are forced to safely pass from car to car. For the sequel, the goofily-titled Train to Busan Presents: Peninsula, the setting expands from a single train to an entire “diseased wasteland,” according to Well Go USA, which is releasing the film.

“The scale of Peninsula can’t compare to Train to Busan, it makes it look like an independent film,” director Yeon told Screen Daily about the sequel. “Train to Busan was a high-concept film shot in narrow spaces, whereas Peninsula has a much wider scope of movement.” It’s The Road Warrior to the original’s Mad Max. But with zombies.

Watch the trailer above. Here’s the official plot synopsis.

Four years after South Korea’s total decimation in Train to Busan, the zombie thriller that captivated audiences worldwide, acclaimed director Yeon Sang-ho brings us Peninsula, the next nail-biting chapter in his post-apocalyptic world. Jung-seok, a soldier who previously escaped the diseased wasteland, relives the horror when assigned to a covert operation with two simple objectives: retrieve and survive. When his team unexpectedly stumbles upon survivors, their lives will depend on whether the best—or worst—of human nature prevails in the direst of circumstances.

Train to Busan Presents: Peninsula does not currently have an American release date.

April 4 will mark the 25th anniversary of Guided By Voices’ 1995 album Alien Lanes, their first release on Matador Records. To celebrate, the label is reissuing the record on limited edition vinyl, on August 21. The record, of which only 2,500 will be made, is pressed on blue, green and red multicolored vinyl, and a limited edition keyring/bottle opener will also be available while supplies last. The reissue is available for pre-order now.

The band’s Bob Pollard shared a brief essay about the album in light of the rerelease, which he begins by describing the band’s mindset when they recorded the record: “We were fearless at the time we recorded Alien Lanes. That’s why it bristles with insane energy and confidence. We were still riding the high accolades of Bee Thousand and probably should have succumbed to the critical pressure of a worthy follow-up. Instead we had, in our megalomaniacal view, mastered the instant gratification machine known as the 4-track and began recording song after song with titles like ‘Cuddling Bozo’s Octopus’, ‘My Valuable Hunting Knife’, ‘Pimple Zoo’ and ‘After the Quake (Let’s Bake a Cake).’”

Additionally, Matador has also shared the hard-to-find 1996 documentary about the band, the Banks Tarver-directed Watch Me Jumpstart.

Read Pollard’s full statement below.

“We were fearless at the time we recorded Alien Lanes. That’s why it bristles with insane energy and confidence. We were still riding the high accolades of Bee Thousand and probably should have succumbed to the critical pressure of a worthy follow-up. Instead we had, in our megalomaniacal view, mastered the instant gratification machine known as the 4-track and began recording song after song with titles like ‘Cuddling Bozo’s Octopus’, ‘My Valuable Hunting Knife’, ‘Pimple Zoo’ and ‘After the Quake (Let’s Bake a Cake)’.

The door had been opened for us to throw out as many weird ass ideas as we were capable of and we did. We even thought we were starting to look cooler and decided cool enough to have the entire back cover be a photograph of us in the basement looking pseudo intellectually laid back and stoned with long hair, stars and stripe gym shoes and a box of Tide in the background.

Our friend Kim thought the album was too bombastic. Too frenetic and difficult to digest. I agreed. We were proud to be putting out our first album on Matador and cock strutted accordingly. It cost us $10 to make. It’s worth a million. I personally think it’s better than B-1000 (but not by much). There are two different camps of GBV fans to argue and debate.

God bless 1995 and open hearted record labels like Matador (and Scat before them) for allowing bands like us, with the preferred limited resources, to remove the constraints and pre-conceived notions of the more industry-minded constituents who would have much preferred we destroy the cassette master of Alien Lanes in the better interest of sound manufacturing and what’s more agriculturally consumable. It’s better to leave the farm than to continue plodding through the cow sh*t.”

It’s Quavo’s 29th birthday today and to celebrate, the North Atlanta hit maker is joining Instagram’s seemingly endless streaming party to share some unreleased Migos music with fans. Since he and his bros Takeoff and Offset have been spending the last few weeks of self-quarantine working on their upcoming album, Culture III, and since they can’t go out, it looks like they are bringing the party to themselves — so to speak. Starting at 8pm EST, Quavo announced via Instagram post, “We playing all Migos classics and sneaking some unreleased records out the vault.”

“We ain’t battling, we just vibing, we going crazy,” he clarified in the video, referencing the popular livestream battles that have taken place between luminaries such as Swizz Beats, Timbaland, Ne-Yo, Johnta Austin, Scott Storch, and Mannie Fresh. Other entertainers who have used livestreams to preview new music during the ongoing coronavirus crisis include Tory Lanez and Boi-1da.

Quavo also appeared to be riding out the quarantine with his boo, Saweetie, as noted by sharp-eyed fans who caught his comment during one of her recent livestreams. While she was chatting with fans, she apparently missed the doorbell for food delivery, receiving a friendly reminder from Quavo, who signed into the chat just to let her know “the food here.”

Check out Quavo’s announcement above and tune into his livestream at 8pm EST / 5pm PST.

Amazon‘s surreal new series, Tales From The Loop, is produced by Matt Reeves (who’s now directing Robert Pattinson in The Batman), which might spark some nerd intrigue. Even without Reeves’ name, however, the show will likely pack in a built-in audience of sorts due to its source material. The show brings impossibly surreal digital paintings from Simon Stålenhag to life by constructing stories around them, and that additional magic happens courtesy of creator and writer Nathaniel Halpern (Legion, The Killing). And folks who aren’t already aware of Stålenhag but who are fans of Black Mirror (and sci-fi anthologies in general) might find this show to be a kinder, gentler, and more thoughtful option. That’s especially valuable right now, when we really don’t want the bejesus scared out of us, but some softer surrealism might be nice.

To sum up the Tales From The Loop concept, the show doesn’t take place within the same alternate Sweden as with Stålenhag’s work, but within a small Ohio town that’s situated above “The Loop” machinery. Basically, that’s an experimental physics center that unlocks and dig into the universe’s mysteries. In turn, the townfolk are subject to some mind-bending happenings, which gleefully dive into sci-fi realms with the visuals bending like a twisted marriage between Isaac Asimov and Salvador Dali. Stålenhag’s art is wildly popular, to the point where a crowdfunded narrative-art book landed in 2014, so seeing those works come to life in story form will be a treat for existing fans.

If none of that was enough to draw you in, the show emits a futuristic aroma resembling whiffs of many Black Mirror episodes, but it’s a more retrofuturistic take. We see robots and tractors and time travel and open fields and freeways and farmhouses, all meshed together in soft visuals that resemble a moving oil painting. The abundance of technology on display gently intersperses itself with stories about navigating all the resulting strangeness, which eventually gets distilled into meditations on what it means to be human, or not human. However, there’s heart in this Amazon series, and it doesn’t set out to shake viewers to their very cores with shocking and ultimately terrifying happenings. In that way, Tales From The Loop doesn’t sensationalize or dive into cautionary tales about technology like Black Mirror often does (while arguably running itself into the ground at least half the time) but acts in a more reflective manner.

At its core, I do believe that viewers who gravitate toward Black Mirror will enjoy Tales From The Loop but feel oddly comforted, rather than anxious, by tucking into a few episodes. The energy of Amazon’s series is certainly lower, and calmer, and that’s not a bad thing right now. The episodes do meander but in a pleasant way. They’re almost hypnotic installments in their execution, and for those who (like myself) resist meditations and a quiet mind, these stories might seem ideal to help us focus on worlds and problems other than our own while not walking away in a more stressed-out state.

The show does find threads of inspiration elsewhere, namely from The Twilight Zone, although again, Tales is more transcendent and thoughtful. The comparison mainly arises with Jonathan Pryce’s character. His founder initially brought the Loop to life underneath the otherwise unassuming Ohio town. And his words to the camera often present more questions than answers, but the journey of this series doesn’t end with an arrival at clear-cut conclusions. If you’re looking for answers with this show, you’ll be disappointed. Hell, if you’re seeking action and soul-shattering reveals, you’re out of luck there as well. It’s also worth noting that the series isn’t a pure anthology, given that characters in each individual tale are loosely connected by the Loop, but each of the three episodes offered to critics do hold a somewhat different feel. All affirm humanity in the end, which is something that’s sorely welcomed right now, and that makes Stålenhag’s visuals (as rendered onscreen) feel even more prescient than ever.

If you’re in the market for a thought-stirring (though not overly provocative) examination of how humans can confront unreal challenges with great strength, then it’s worth investing time in Tales From The Loop. Yes, it can be eerie to witness how many of these characters, even while surrounded by people, grow profoundly lonely. That’s not an unfamiliar theme, but their resolve serves as an example during our own ongoing self-isolation. These folks suffer losses, tragic ones, but ultimately, one is left feeling serene, almost optimistic with a sense of calm. The future (as rendered within both the source paintings and the adapted stories) is bright because the characters resolve to see things that way. It’s an unexpected theme to behold during our own uncertain times, and to be sure, this isn’t an entirely easy watch. It’s also for mature audiences, but some of the sights are actually filled with childlike wonder. However you approach the show, you’re sure to feel slightly buzzy coming out of it, at least with the three episodes I’ve screened. And I’ll be watching more once the season fully arrives.

‘Tales From the Loop’ comes to Amazon Prime on April 3.

During one summer in high school, I worked at a horse race track in Saratoga Springs, New York, selling newspapers. Yes, a living, breathing newsie (who did not grow up to look like Christian Bale). It was a boring job for little money but lots of skin-burning sunlight; I hated it. But I loved the 15-minute walk from my dad’s house to the track and back because it meant I could zone out and listen to Welcome Interstate Managers, Fountains of Wayne’s breakout album. “Stacy’s Mom” was the hit, but the entire album was filled with would-be radio smashes, from cranked-up opener “Mexican Wine” to the sweet sing-along “Hey Julie.” That album was my gateway to Fountains of Wayne’s power-pop excellence (I was not cool enough to get into them with Utopia Parkway), but it was not my introduction to Adam Schlesinger: songwriting genius.

Schlesinger, who passed away on Monday at the too-young age of 52 as a result of coronavirus complications, wrote “That Thing You Do!” for the Tom Hanks-directed movie of the same name. (It’s someone’s sick joke that Hanks was among the first big-name celebrities to test positive for the coronavirus, and now this.) I am not being hyperbolic when I call “That Thing You Do!” one of the greatest movie songs of all-time. Hell, it’s a near-perfect pop song, for a film or otherwise, two minutes and 47 seconds of pure joy. It’s oneder-ful. “I remember the day all the Oneders, @LivTyler and @tomhanks sat in a room and played about 6 submitted tracks from different bands for That Thing You Do,” Ethan Embry, who played “T.B. Player” (excellent joke) in the 1996 movie, tweeted shortly after Schlesinger’s death. “When we heard Adam Schlesinger’s cassette it was instantly clear which track we would need to learn.”

Pity the other five songs that had to compete with this.

The drums! The harmonies! The hook! The bridge! Every time I hear it, I turn into Liv Tyler running down the street, losing her mind when she hears the song on the radio. “That Thing You Do!” sounds effortless, but it’s not like “I Want to Hold Your Hand”-level bops come out of nowhere; Schlesinger had to write a song from another era that you hear multiple times in its near-entirety, and if it wasn’t instantly irresistible and you didn’t believe it was the biggest song in the world, the entire movie would fall apart. (It’s one of the reasons, among many, that Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip failed: the in-show sketches were supposed to be funny; they weren’t. Unlike 30 Rock, where “Fart Doctor” is intentionally awful, and therefore, hilarious.) “That Thing You Do!” was a 1960s song written for a 1990s movie that still sounds great in the 2020s. It’s timeless.

“I had a publishing deal as a writer and they told me about this movie – they said that they were looking for something that sounds like early Beatles,” Schlesinger told Songfacts about writing the Wonders’ hit. “And they knew that that was an era that I liked a lot. So I just took a shot at it and got very lucky and they used the song.” Schlesinger makes writing a Fab Four-worthy song sound so simple, but when the first song on your debut album, when most bands are still figuring things out, is “Radiation Vibe,” maybe it was that simple. He was also, as many have pointed out, a mensch.

Schlesinger would have been a legend for “That Thing You Do!” (which was nominated for an Oscar for Best Original Song, but lost to “You Must Love Me” from Evita) and Fountains of Wayne alone, but his songwriting prowess extended to the Josie and the Pussycats soundtrack (“Pretend to Be Nice”), Music and Lyrics (“Way Back Into Love”), and Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, where he also served as an executive music producer.

He wrote or co-wrote over 150 songs for Rachel Bloom and Aline Brosh McKenna’s CW series, including the Disney-indebted “I’m the Villain in My Own Story,” the self-explanatory “F*ckton of Cats,” and my personal favorite, “You Stupid Bitch,” the “That Thing You Do!” of self-hating ballads. When Schlesinger and Bloom wrote, “You’re just a poopy little slut who doesn’t think / And deceives the people she loves,” I felt that.

There’s also his other bands Ivy and Tinted Windows, and A Colbert Christmas: The Greatest Gift of All! (“Another Christmas Song” is unnecessarily good), and the rest of Fountains of Wayne’s stacked discography… point is, there’s no shortage of Schlesinger’s work to listen to, but it’s “That Thing You Do!” that I have on repeat. There’s a small moment in That Thing You Do! (the movie) that I keep thinking about. It’s when the Wonders play a local talent show, and Shades, without telling his bandmates, speeds up the tempo of “That Thing You Do!” (the song). Jimmy is furious, even if he knows it works better as a rocker than a ballad, but look at Lenny, played by Steve Zahn.

The smile on his face expresses everything you need to know, that the Wonders (and by extension, Schlesinger) created something special. I felt the same way the first time I heard “That Thing You Do!”; I still feel the same way after countless plays. Now, if only we could get Cap’n Geech & the Shrimp Shack Shooters to cover the song, as tribute.