It was about halfway through Artemis Fowl – a surprisingly short movie that is so confusing and so heavily edited it would be the equivalent if I cut every other paragraph of this review out and still expected you to follow what I was saying – where two things happened that caught my attention. The first was the movie had not stopped spewing information at me for a full 45 minutes. It felt like being in a western civ class and trying to catch up after missing the first four lectures. I felt like I should be taking notes. (Also, you know a movie has problems when it’s so confusing that literally being able to rewind doesn’t clear anything up.) Then it’s also right about this point that Josh Gad, playing a dwarf named Mulch, starts eating dirt, then shooting it out of his ass.

I would love to hear an explanation about why this movie is so bad. I mean, something happened. I love Kenneth Branagh movies! I thought his Murder on the Orient Express was a stellar return to the whodunit genre that Knives Out then cemented. But whatever Artemis Fowl is, it certainly doesn’t feel like a Kenneth Branagh movie. Something tells me he has a story.

Honestly, I could barely follow the plot of this film because it’s just nonstop exposition. The title character, Artemis Fowl (Ferdia Shaw), literally doesn’t leave his house until the last scene of the movie. (Though, I guess in that way, maybe it’s a profound plot point that Artemis, too, is working remotely from home.) I mention all this because I don’t want a ton of people who read the book to start tweeting at me about the plot. I am assuming the book is coherent. This movie is not. And I can only go off what was presented.

When the movie opens, we first meet Josh Gad’s Mulch, who is doing a voice that reminds me of The Albino in The Princess Bride before he clears his throat. And Mulch, well, doesn’t do much of anything for the first half of the movie except explain things to the audience. Most of this movie feels like the book is just being read to us, only skipping over just enough details that nothing makes sense.

An unnamed villain who wears a hood (spoiler, we never learn who this is supposed to be) kidnaps master thief Artemis Fowl Sr., played by Colin Farrell, who is in this movie for about five minutes. The villain wants this device, which resembles a golden acorn, that is in the possession of Artemis Sr. The Ferries, led by Judi Dench (I look forward to seeing the pictures of the Artemis Fowl wing of her estate) who live in the middle of the earth and also want the golden acorn because, if humans use it, it would be disastrous. Other than that, we never really learn what this device does. So, Artemis Jr. goes on a grand adventure to save his father, which, again, never gets beyond his house because every enemy just winds up coming to the house.

This is a movie that doesn’t care at all about character development. There’s no emotional investment whatsoever. At one point, a friend of Artemis’s dies and the movie thinks it’s this emotional beat and all I could think was that I barely knew this person. Then, before I had even processed what happened, that character is revived and is alive again. Great.

(I realize now that my explanation of the plot of this movie doesn’t make much sense. I admit this because in the first paragraph I made a joke about removing every other paragraph. I’m just putting this here to say that I didn’t actually do that.)

There’s a scene in this movie where Josh Gad’s Mulch infiltrates the Artemis Fowl house, then, with no explanation, teams up with the heroes. I rewound this three times looking for an explanation. Then I texted a colleague asking about this and he couldn’t figure it out either. It’s like whoever had the final edit of this movie cared more about it being short than making sense. The last movie I can remember that was edited in this rushed, highly exposition filled way was The Dark Tower.

It’s funny, a few weeks ago (maybe months, who knows at this point) I made a half-joking, half-serious joke that there aren’t any bad movies anymore. I still live in a city that’s closed to all entertainment, so the prospect of any new movie is nice. I am very easy to please right now. But, it turns out, I was wrong. There are still bad movies. (The good news is, if you have Disney +, this movie will cost you nothing extra.) So, in a weird way (a very weird way), it was almost comforting. It felt like a step toward normalcy.

You can contact Mike Ryan directly on Twitter.

No first-person shooter can truly be defined as passive, but Disintegration is probably as close as you’ll get. That’s because the hybrid FPS is a game that hits consoles and PC on June 16 is trying to be several things at once, and its creators hope it has a place among a first-person shooter market that’s as competitive as ever. It’s fitting that in many ways the game’s plot mirrors V1 Interactive’s attempt to put real-time strategy elements into an FPS. It’s a game where humans are “Integrated” into robotic bodies in a world ravaged by disease and strife, only their organic brains remain protected in a metal case while the rest of them is now extremely recyclable.

Things go too far, however, and the evil robots take over — characters routinely call them “red eyes,” which is aesthetically and thematically convenient — leading to a resistance effort you must now help turn things around. To do that, you pilot a grav cycle, a hovering bike-like vehicle with weapons that helps you command a small crew of ground troops as you complete missions.

“We wanted that low barrier of entry but high skill ceiling,” said Blake Low, senior environment artist at V1 Interactive. “It takes you, you know, a round of two to figure out everything you’ve got available to you. But then putting it all together and expanding on that is when a new starts to click for you, when a game starts to click for you as a whole.”

It’s a first-person shooter that often plays — at least in its campaign mode — like you’re not the first person to shoot. Or not the best person for the job, anyway. The trick to Disintegration is to best direct your troops in the fight, not necessarily doing all of the fighting.

“It’s got that familiar pick up and looks like a first-person shooter feel to it. And you can familiarize yourself with that immediately but once you start to play with the interaction with the ground units, the crew you’re playing with and the different ways they compliment the graph cycle and the graph cycle compliments the composition of the team, all of that comes into play,” Low said. “I’d say this game is far more of a team based game reliant on the team as whole to succeed than most anything I’ve played recently.”

Playing Disintegration reminded me of a Dungeons and Dragons campaign where you’re playing a very support-oriented magic user, healing other members of your party and strategically watching the action go down rather than diving right into the fray for yourself. Healing is actually a big part of your job — a secondary healing weapon either shoots health packs directly at your troops or provides a healing halo from which you can benefit.

For some, that kind of gameplay will feel unnatural, or maybe even disillusioning. But it is certainly something different, and the game’s developers hope the audience is there for a distinctly different kind of FPS.

“The game is not going to be for everyone, and that’s fine,” Low said. “We’re really passionate about first-person shooters — a bunch of us coming from the Halo background. We want to build something but also want it to be fresh at the same time.”

Low described the RTS elements of Disintegration as an opportunity to change the game’s pace of play. Though you yourself only heal and have a primary weapon, the grav cycle is in charge of commanding your teammates’s special abilities such as grenades or mortar fire. When triggering those abilities, gameplay slows down a bit to allow for more precise aim. It also gives you some time to plan out your next move without pausing altogether and turning it into a turn-based slog.

“All of it naturally emerged together as we tried to make that first-person shooter-plus, whatever you want to tag it as,” Low said. “It does feel like a smooth first-person shooter but really adding that tactical element sometimes slows the game down, but it sometimes makes it chaotic and frenetic on purpose. That ebb and flow in how you react to the world.”

The campaign mode of any first-person shooter doubles as a tutorial of sorts, and Disintegration is no different. But it actually works in encouraging you to combine abilities and rewards you for completing Challenge Goals during the campaign with upgrade chips. You’re also more likely to find success in missions, and in multiplayer as a result. There’s a learning curve to understanding what’s being asked of you, but once you get into the rhythm of the game’s missions, it can be rewarding to see your abilities and team grow in power and find success.

That gameplay style doesn’t always mesh perfectly, and the disconnect might be too much for traditional FPS players to stick with. But unlike most games in the genre, it’s a bit surprising that the strongest element of Disintegration is the game’s story. An FPS about humans in brain only seems like a tough place to find emotional resonance, but Disintegration works hard to characterize its crew whether flesh or metal.

“The units on the ground are people. They are brains in robotic armatures,” Low said. “You’re going to develop cut scene story arcs with these people you’re going to come to care for them and then take them out on the missions with you. They’re not just noises on the ground, they’re important parts of the story.”

People who learn the game through the campaign will connect with that story, and there’s a surprising amount of heft to it. But the success of Disintegration will largely be determined by how many people take to the game’s multiplayer. That, however, will rely much more on whether they value the combat style more than the characters in their crew.

When it comes to the civil unrest in the US at the moment, some artists have made their voices heard through their work. HER is now one of them: She kicked off her iHeartRadio Living Room Series set with a new song, “I Can’t Breathe.” The soulful track is heavy, as HER sings on the chorus, “I can’t breathe / You’re taking my life from me / I can’t breathe / Will anyone fight for me?”

Introducing the song and her performance overall — which took place at a Brooklyn recording studio with a full band — she said:

“I really want to recognize all of the people across various communities that are promoting justice and equality and peace and passion. We need that unity right now, so this first song is called ‘I Can’t Breathe.’ Just by the title, you know that it means something very painful and very revealing, and I think it’s necessary. These lyrics were kind of easy to write because it came from a conversation of what’s happening right now, what’s been happening, and the change that we need to see. I think music is powerful when it comes to change and when it comes to healing, and that’s why I wrote this song, to make a mark in history. And I hope this song does that.”

Watch HER’s full performance above.

Although The Notorious B.I.G. and Tupac were embroiled in a fierce feud at the time of Tupac’s death, Snoop Dogg, who was close to Tupac and another arm of the ongoing dispute between Bad Boy Records and Death Row, explained that Biggie was actually hurt when his rival was shot and killed in 1996. Snoop recounted meeting with Biggie after ‘Pac’s death to Fatman Scoop, who had a live chat with the West Coast godfather on Instagram and asked him whether he’d spoken to B.I.G. after the shooting which prematurely ended Tupac’s skyrocketing career.

Snoop replied affirmatively, indicating that a chance meeting with Junior MAFIA member Lil Cease led to Cease taking him to see Biggie, who was recovering from a car accident. “He’s in a walker, what the old people walk around in,” he recalled. “He got the walker sitting at the edge of the bed and when I walk in the room, we started talking. Then, he looked me in my eyes and he say something to that—he’s sad that Tupac is dead, but I can look in his eyes and I could see that he hurt.”

He also lightly touched on rumors that Biggie was behind the shooting, elaborating, “This is not a man that’s happy or glamorized. This a man whose friend that’s dead, they had a misunderstanding and he could never get no justice for his emotions, but he’s showing me his emotions. He explaining to me how much he loved Tupac and I ain’t trippin’. Not once did we bring up the Brooklyn incident, because what’s understood don’t need to be talked about.”

Watch Snoop’s interview with Fatman Scoop above.

Following his condemnation of J.K. Rowling’s remarks on trans people, Daniel Radcliffe’s digging in his heels to support stunt performers. The Harry Potter actor is co-hosting a new podcast series, Cunning Stunts, with David Holmes, his stunt double on all of the Harry Potter movies. During the 2009 installment, The Deathly Hallows – Part 2, Holmes’ Hollywood career came to a sudden end when he was paralyzed during a stunt for a flying scene. Over the past 11 years, he’s adjusted to a wheelchair with limited arm mobility, but he still holds a great appreciation for the profession. As for Radcliffe, he joins Holmes in wanting Academy recognition for the stunt field.

During a joint interview with Deadline, the pair discusses stuntwoman Olivia Jackson, who was partially paralyzed and lost an arm during a Resident Evil production. Holmes argues that it’s a “bit ridiculous” that the stunt field, despite risking life and limb for movies, isn’t honored by the Oscars, and Radcliffe adds that people simply don’t “see the art of a brilliant stunt scene.” He maintains that there’s “snobbery” at work, but that there’s a real craft involved with executing stunts in a believable and safe manner. He can see the downside to offering incentives for stunt performers to aim toward bolder stunts, but he ultimately believes that they deserve awards recognition at Hollywood’s most prestigious ceremony:

“[W]hen you go through what happened with Dave or Olivia, or the many people we’ve talked to that have had severe things happen to them, you realize everyone has put their bodies on the line to make the things we love. It seems crazy not to acknowledge that.”

Considering that there are many other Oscar categories than those that involve straight-up acting, it’s a solid idea. And honestly? A stunt montage in the middle of the Academy Awards might not be the “classiest” move, but it would probably drive up ratings. In the meantime, Holmes and Radcliffe are devoting their podcast to interviewing stunt performers, and you can check out their latest episodes here.

(Via Deadline)

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50 Cent previously made it his mission to get Pop Smoke’s debut album finished following his death. Although his involvement in the project hasn’t officially been confirmed by Smoke’s label, Republic Records did previously confirm a summer release date for the album. A lot has changed in the world since then, though, and now, Smoke’s posthumous record has been delayed.

Universal Music Group executive Steven Victor shared the news yesterday, also revealing that “Make It Rain,” a new song with a mystery guest, will be out on Friday: “Music is the tool of revolution. We have been watching, along with the rest of the world, as long overdue change starts to take root. We have seen Pop’s music become the soundtrack of the moment, unifying the masses. Given recent events, we have decided to delay the release of his album out of respect for the movement. ‘Make It Rain’ will be released this Friday, June 12th. The album will be released on July 3rd. Please join us in celebrating Pop Smoke’s legacy.”

It hasn’t been revealed who will be featuring on “Make It Rain,” but 50 Cent has certainly tried to get a lot of today’s biggest stars involved in the album: In recent months, he has publicly asked Roddy Ricch, Drake, and others to guest on the project.

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

The election is still months away (let that sink in), but presumptive Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden is already thinking about what will happen if he wins. Specifically, how he’ll kick the conspiracy theorist in office out of the White House.

On Wednesday’s The Daily Show, host Trevor Noah asked Biden what he plans to do if Donald Trump loses the election but fails to vacate 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. After saying he’s “so damn proud” of the military leaders who have recently criticized the president, Biden added, “You have so many rank and file military personnel saying, well, we’re not a military state, this is not who we are. I promise you, I’m absolutely convinced, they will escort him from the White House in a dispatch.” The former-vice president also told Noah that he’s certain “this president is going to try to steal this election… This is a guy who said that all mail-in ballots are fraudulent, voting by mail, while he sits behind the desk in the Oval Office and writes his mail-in ballot to vote in a primary.”

You think politics are ugly now? Wait until November.

During the interview, Noah pressed Biden on whether he would defund the police, days after he wrote an op-ed for USA Today calling for additional funding for police departments. “I don’t think police should be defunded, but I think the conditions should be placed upon them where departments are having to take significant reforms relating to [whether] we should set up a national use of force standard,” Biden responded.

You can watch the interview below.

After a spate of memes he posted caused Ice Cube to be accused of antisemitism by commenters on Twitter, the West Coast rapper denied the accusations, saying that “I get along with every race on the earth.” Regarding speculation that he’d been hacked as a possible reason for his posts, Cube said, “This is CUBE. My account has not been hacked. I speak for no organization. I only speak for the meek people of thee earth. We will not expect crumbles from your table. We have to power of almighty God backing us all over the earth. NO MORE TALKING. Repent.”

He then shared another series of memes of prominent Black figures from throughout history, including Martin Luther King, Jr., Muhammad Ali, Bob Marley, and Marcus Garvey, with short captions explaining some of the injustices they’d faced in their lifetimes. He also took time to respond to some other critics and defenders, including Marc Lamont Hill and Michael Rapaport, respectively.

Responding to Hill’s tweet to a question about Cube’s memes that called the use of “conspiracy theories of Jewish global domination… textbook antisemitism,” Cube shot back, “What if I was just pro-Black? This is the truth brother. I didn’t lie on anyone. I didn’t say I was anti anybody.” Meanwhile, Rapaport defended Cube, saying, “Ice Cube ain’t Anti-Semetic. He’s anti-asshole. Let the OG Disruptor Disrupt!” Cube approved: “Someone who actually knows me.”

It’s important to note that the use of antisemitic imagery is being conflated on both sides with how Ice Cube actually feels about Jewish people and unfortunately, that’s just not how any of this works. You can absolutely hurt someone without intending to — something Cube and everyone commenting should realize.

Cube may not have any ill will toward Jewish people but his sharing those memes can definitely cause harm. As Hill pointed out, those memes, regardless of the poster’s intent in sharing them, propagate very clear messages painting a group of people as secret rulers in order to stoke resentment against them — resentment that transforms, all too often, into violent action. With hate crimes on the rise in America, Jewish and Muslim people are almost just as likely to become targets as Black people — especially when they overlap.

So, yes a little more empathy should be shown on both sides. It’s possible that Cube doesn’t actually realize the meanings of the memes he’s shared because he has been told that they espouse pro-Black messages rather than antisemitic ones and never really investigated it for himself. And it’s important for Cube to realize that he should truly understand what he’s posting before he blasts it out to his 5.3 million followers on Twitter. Intentions matter, but not as much as results and in the end, we should all be working toward the same result: A world free of hate and inequality.

Check out Cube’s interactions with his critics and fans above.

The annual extravaganza known as the Eurovision Song Contest ended up in the pandemic cancellation pile this year, but luckily, Netflix is here to fill that void. So are Will Ferrell and Rachel McAdams, who are starring in an absolutely bonkers looking movie, Eurovision Song Contest: The Story Of Fire Saga, for the Netflix streamer. Also on the cast list: Pierce Brosnan, who plays the “extremely handsome father” of Ferrell’s Lars, who’s one half of the Icelandic pop duo (Fire Saga) that’s completed by McAdams’ Sigrit. As this trailer reveals, they’re not exactly a hit on the local bar scene but still end up representing their country while taking a shot at bad-musical glory.

Will Ferrell in a Fabio wig: that’s an easy sell. This film’s directed by David Dobkin (Wedding Crashers) and written by Andrew Steele (SNL, The Jon Stewart Show), so viewers are in good hands. That’s especially the case when it comes to miraculously pulling off jokes where Lars and Sigrit mull over whether a bigger ding-dong and a cameltoe might win over judge’s hearts and, ultimately, make Iceland proud. Along the way, they must resist the cliché of falling into bed together like Fleetwood Mac… or Simon & Garfunkel?

Eurovision Song Contest: The Story Of Fire Saga doesn’t have a release date yet, but expect it this summer. Here’s a hair-filled poster.