Things are pretty scary right now, and it’s the president’s fault. Not only is the pandemic that he failed to control surging across the nation, hitting new records in infections and deaths — and with an election looming — but he’s starting to send even more federal agents to cities to square off against mostly peaceful protesters, whose reign of terror began in Portland and are now expanding to Chicago and Albuquerque. It’s times like these we need a laugh, and Donald J. Trump is the kind of renaissance man who can inspire anxiety as well as mockery.
As it’s widely known, our sitting president has very thin skin, perhaps history’s thinnest, and one thing he has not been able to shut up about is a cognitive test he took about a year ago — an exam he boasted he “aced.” Over the weekend, Fox News aired an interview between Trump and Chris Wallace, one of the news networks most critical and tough employees, and one of the many tragi-comical highlights found Wallace pointing out that that test? Not that hard.
“They have a picture and it says ‘what’s that’ and it’s an elephant,” Wallace pointed out. Trump, as is his nature, insisted it was harder than Wallace claimed and that his presumptive presidential opponent, Joe Biden, couldn’t do it.
But Trump does not accept truth, especially if it makes him look a fool. On Wednesday, he was talking about the test yet again, this time during a more sympathetic Fox News one-on-one with Dr. Marc Siegel. A medical consultant with the network, Siegel stood there, patiently listening to the president of the United States laboriously explain that not only did he ace the basic test, he allegedly received extra points for being able to repeat five words over and over again without screwing up.
Hoo boy. This is rough. pic.twitter.com/B7l98sO8Pf
— Matt Rogers
(@Politidope) July 23, 2020
Trump gave an example, seemingly by looking at things that were at the time in front of him, and choosing five objects: “person, woman, man, camera, TV.” He kept repeating them, to show to Siegel, and to the whole world watching, that he was a smart man who can remember five words.
It was…strange. And certain swaths of Twitter, looking for a lighthearted distraction as American cities are increasingly turned into police states by the man whose mental faculties were ripe for mockery, was quick to turn it into a meme.
“Person, woman, man, camera, TV” – Trump 2020 pic.twitter.com/MqmcwPWNv1
— Jason Campbell (@JasonSCampbell) July 23, 2020
Spanky McDumbass is STILL bragging about being able to repeat the words “person, woman, man, camera, TV.”
Unbelievable.pic.twitter.com/1ZWVdjyBOG
— BrooklynDad_Defiant Rep John Lewis! (@mmpadellan) July 23, 2020
“Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV” was the title of my third album. It had a Talking Heads vibe.
— David Corn (@DavidCornDC) July 23, 2020
Good night person.
Good night man.
Good night woman jumping over the moon.
Good night camera.
Good night TV with the red balloon.— Patrick Dillon (@mpdillon) July 23, 2020
It’s a pretty big tumble from “shining city upon a hill” to “Person. Woman. Man. Camera. TV.”
— Oliver Willis (@owillis) July 23, 2020
I’m a person, I’m a woman
I’m a man, I’m a camera
I’m a tv, I’m a saint,
I do not feel ashamed. https://t.co/KtAOIGomMH— The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) July 23, 2020
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
“And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you — ask what you can do for your country.”
person, woman, man, camera, TV. person, woman, man, camera, TV. person, woman, man, camera, TV. person, woman, ma
— Philippe Reines (@PhilippeReines) July 23, 2020
“Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV” is my new band name. @realDonaldTrump
— NoelCaslerComedy (@CaslerNoel) July 23, 2020
Some brought Biden, who has his own issues with saying weird things, into the mix.
Who else wants Joe Biden to walk up to Donald Trump at the first debate, look him in the eye, say person, woman, man, camera, TV, and then stroll casually back to the podium.
— Andrew Weinstein (@Weinsteinlaw) July 23, 2020
Some were not amused. They were furious. And rightly so.
Person, Woman, Man, Camera, TV, 70,000 COVID Cases Today. pic.twitter.com/74O87vajOd
— Pod Save America (@PodSaveAmerica) July 23, 2020
And some — including longtime Republicans who are about as anti-Trump as a good chunk of the nation is — tried to blend rage with humor.
Trump: “Person, woman, man, camera, TV.”
America: “Constitution, 25th Amendment, invoke, remove, goodbye.”— Bill Kristol (@BillKristol) July 23, 2020
Anyway, as of this writing, in the U.S. COVID-19 cases are approaching 4 million and have caused over 140,000 deaths, while federal troops in camo with no identification who’ve kidnapped protesters and dragged them into unmarked cars are heading to more cities. Enjoy this laugh while you can.