Month: July 2020

Sufjan Stevens recently announced The Ascension, which will be his first solo album in five years when it drops towards the end of September. With the announcement, he revealed that the record’s lead single, the 12-minute “America,” would drop on Friday. So, today, the track has arrived.

Stevens calls his new single “a protest song against the sickness of American culture in particular.” Musically, the track hearkens back to Stevens’ The Age Of Adz-style experimentation, with ambient passages and larger moments twisting and turning into each other.

On it, he sings of losing faith in his country, saying, “I have loved you, I have grieved / I’m ashamed to admit I no longer believe / I have loved you, I received / I have traded my life for a picture of the scenery.” He ends the song by repeating, “Don’t do to me what you did to America / Don’t do to me what you do to yourself.”

The Ascension is Stevens’ first solo album since 2015’s Carrie & Lowell. He has remained busy in the interim, though. For example, Stevens and his stepfather, Lowell Brams, released an album together earlier this year.

Listen to “America” above.

The Ascension is out 9/25 via Asthmatic Kitty Records. Pre-order it here.

We’re constantly in search of the best bottle of bourbon, Tennessee whiskey, or just whiskey overall. Call it a life-long quest. Part of that journey is tasting whiskey. Another part is studying the stuff. And yet another part is listening to people in the industry and what they like to sip. Today, we’re focusing on that last bit — diving into the “USA” section of the Internation Whisky Competition’s 2020 results.

The International Whisky Competition is yet another yearly award that means a lot in the whisk(e)y world. Their gold medals are coveted by the best distillers and blenders in the game. While the talent behind the tasting committee is fairly U.S. focused (in Las Vegas specifically), they still make up an international who’s who of folks from the drinks industry. People that know what they’re talking about when it comes to whisk(e)y’s various styles and expressions.

The eight bottles below represent the core of the U.S.A. winners that were announced this week. While we’re very familiar with some of these bottles, a few of them are from very small and local distilleries and we’ve yet to try them. In those cases, we’ve pulled tasting notes from either the distiller or a retailer to fill in the gaps.

Best Overall American Whiskey/Best Straight Bourbon Whiskey/Best Kentucky Whiskey — Eagle Rare 10-Year-Old

ABV: 45%
Distillery: Buffalo Trace Distillery, Frankfort, KY
Average Price: $40

The Whiskey:

This whiskey from Buffalo Trace’s core collection line is a damn fine bottle of bourbon. The price is very accessible and the juice never disappoints. The whiskey is made in a straightforward manner, with a classic bourbon aging process that lasts ten years.

Tasting Notes:

Dark cherries mingle with ripe apples next to classic bourbon vanilla and hint of oaky spice. The palate has a velvet texture that leans into the fruits, mild spice, and light creaminess underpinned by a flutter of dark chocolate. That velvet feeling lingers for a spell on your senses as the dark spices, fruit, vanilla, caramel, and a hint of honey fade out.

Best Cask Strength Bourbon Whiskey — 1792 Full Proof

ABV: 62.5%
Distillery: Barton 1792 Distillery, Bardstown, KY
Average Price: $55

The Whiskey:

1792 is a great bottle to chase down for any occasion. Their Full Proof goes through a very specific aging process that’s all about the barrel’s placement in the rickhouse. These barrels are stored in three different rickhouses where they’re bathed in direct sunlight from seven-story high windows. This daily dose of warming sun adds that x-factor to the juice before it’s bottled without any fuss.

Tasting Notes:

Apple orchards and fresh honeycombs mix with a very distant thought of banana. Those apples edge towards a cinnamon and clove laced stewed apple feel, with a bit of maltiness and a spritz of lemon zest. There’s a moment of vanilla in the background but it’s the warmth and fruitiness that lingers in the senses.

Best Single Barrel Bourbon Whiskey — 1792 Single Barrel

ABV: 49.3%
Distillery: Barton 1792 Distillery, Bardstown, KY
Average Price: $45

The Whiskey:

This, naturally, is another stellar expression to pull drams from. Each barrel is hand-selected from the Barton rickhouses for their individuality and beauty. The resulting bottle is shockingly affordable for the quality of booze therein.

Tasting Notes:

The apple and banana are still present but the apple rings more tart and the banana more edging towards banana bread. Creamy toffee and sharp spices come into play on the palate with more of an emphasis on black pepper than cinnamon alongside that hit of lemon oils. The end is a warm one with the fruit really shining through as it fades.

Best American Rye Whiskey — Old Elk Straight Rye

ABV: 44%
Distillery: Old Elk Distillery, Fort Collins, CO
Average Price: $90

The Whiskey:

This small distillery out in Colorado already gained prominence for its straight bourbon, thanks to its high malted barley mash bill. Their rye is making all the waves this year and remains a bit of a sphynx when it comes to what’s in the bottle (besides deep craftsmanship).

Tasting Notes (from Total Wine):

These are pretty vague… is this stuff even real?

“Smooth enough to be had alone or added as a delicious kick to your favorite mixed drink, this drink is of the highest quality and includes only the finest ingredients. Carefully selected for its distinctive flavor profile, this drink is distilled for a smooth, bold taste.”

Best American Single Malt — Old 55 Single Barrel American Single Malt

ABV: 40%
Distillery: Old 55 Distillery, Newtown, IN
Average Price: Limited

The Whiskey:

This is another super niche expression from a small and very local distillery in Indiana. The brand is known for its bourbon more than anything else and, to be honest, their American Single Malt is going to pretty hard to find unless they make some more bottles.

Tasting Notes (from the distiller):

Not available.

Best Micro Distillery Whiskey — Old Hamer Straight Bourbon Cask Strength

ABV: 57.5%
Distillery: West Fork Whiskey Co., Lawrence County, IN
Average Price: $40

The Whiskey:

We’re deep in the weeds of some seriously regional and small-time whiskeys. This brand is interesting, given its mash bill of 99 percent corn and only one percent malted barley. The juice is then aged at least two years and bottled at barrel proof. You’ll likely only run across this label if you’re in the Indiana/Illinois area.

Tasting Notes (from the Drizly):

“Caramel, Cherry, Cinnamon, Vanilla.”

Best Moonshine/White Lightning/New Make — The Mob Museum Moonshine

ABV: 50%
Distillery: The Mob Museum Distillery, Las Vegas, NV
Average Price: $25

The Whiskey:

You kind of have to laugh that that very touristy Mob Museum in Las Vegas is now distilling their own ‘shine. “Why not?” we say. Gangsters and moonshine go hand-in-hand and it’s a pretty impressive feat for a souvenir bottle to win an award like this. Then again, the awards are in Las Vegas. So… take that as you will.

Tasting Notes (from Total Wine):

“With notes of buttery sweet popcorn, you won’t find moonshine like this anywhere else.”

Best Tennessee Whiskey –Uncle Nearest 1856 Premium

ABV: 50%
Distillery: Nearest Green Distillery, Shelbyville, TN
Average Price: $60

The Whiskey:

Uncle Nearest has been cleaning up the awards circuit for that last few years. And with good reason, their Tennessee whiskey is some of the best sourced and finished whiskey on the market. Plus, supporting this brand means supporting BIPOC in the whiskey industry.

Tasting Notes:

Pears hanging from a tree in the late summer sun sit next to a real sense of dark spices. There’s a slight tartness that counterpoints a fresh herbal note before a whiff of vanilla arrives next to more spice. The dram slowly fades out from the oak through the tart fruit and vanilla until the warming spices are the only thing that’s left alongside a svelte coating in your mouth.

Hip-hop is moving as fast as ever. Luckily, we’re doing the work to put the best new rap music in one place for you. There were videos from Lil Durk and Gunna, Saweetie, Buddy, A Boogie, Lil Uzi Vert, and Don Q, Lil Tecca, as well as IDK and PNB Rock, There also new tracks from Kevin Gates and Tory Lanez, as well as Gucci Mane and Young Thug, Here’s the rest of the best new rap music.

Queen Naija — “Butterflies” Feat. Wale

Queen Naija has dropped a second remix to her buzzing “Butterflies” track with “Butterflies Pt. 2” featuring Wale. The DC rhymer delves into a love gone sour over the soft guitar play, rhyming “my heart is gone from your larceny.”

Yo Gotti — “Recession Proof”

Yo Gotti decided to celebrate his newfound industry independence during the week of Independence Day, dropping his “Recession Proof” single. He affirms his devotion to the cash count over triumphant Tay Keith production.

Young Dolph — “Blue Diamonds”

Young Dolph is “hotboxin’ in a Lamborghini truck” on “Blue Diamonds,” a flossy single where he bigs up his riches but reminds us he’s still loyal enough to “bust down 8 figures with my famo.”

MoneyBagg Yo — “Said Sum”

MoneyBagg Yo got the people talking with “Said Sum,” rhyming about an ex that he “gave back to the streets” over a hellish synth. It’s not much of a secret who he could be talking about — but it’s also apparent that this bangs too much for that to matter.

Buckwild — Fully Loaded

Buckwild released his Fully Loaded track today. It’s a standout song from the project is “Ease Up,” where Little Brother and Buckwild trade bars over a smooth, jazzy instrumental.

Smoove’L — “Turn Left Turn Right”

Smoove’L does a bit of a pivot on “Turn Left Turn Right,” using a now-trademark drill beat not for menace but to talk about “pullin’ up” to his woman of the moment, and also letting us know, “I’m feelin’ very elite, n****s know I got the streets.”

Jay Critch — “Devastated”

Brooklyn’s Jay Critch shows off his bars on “Devastated,” floating over a dreamy, minimalist beat and rhyming, “The cookie got me up by Heaven’s gate”

Jay Gwuapo — “Blue Face” Feat. Asian Doll

Jay Gwuapo and Asian Doll are reporting live from the lap of luxury on “Blue Face,” a thumping track where Gwuapo proclaims, “N****s think they making noise, n****s just ain’t loud enough” and Asian Doll boasts, “rRw b*tch I done made that n**** famous.”

Kembe X Tracks

Kembe X is crafting his Matrix Breaker album for a fall release and offered up two tastes of what to expect from the project this week. “Sad” is exactly what it sounds like, as the Chicago rapper croons about his desire to not “go out sad” out here. “Entendre” is a trap burner where he and Gatecitycraig trade charismatic verses.

Ras Kass — “”Burn” Feat. CyHi The Prynce, Torae, Pastor Troy, David Banner & Noochie

A slew of underground favorites formed a coalition to slam white supremacy on “Burn,” a 7-minute reckoning where each MC verbally accosts the system over urgent Zaytoven production, threatening, “Tell the pastor he can’t tell me sh*t, we gon’ burn this b*tch.”

Marlon Craft — “(Not) Everybody”

Marlon Craft’s Funhouse Mirror album was released a year ago, but as Kanye West recently showed, it’s never too late to give a dope song some dope visuals. That’s what Craft did for album standout “(Not) Everybody,” a characteristically thoughtful record where he surmises, “I wanna see all my people evolve, but we in a world where that seem so hard.”

Cambatta — “Mic El JahXsun”

Cambatta called his “Mic El JahXsun” track the greatest rhyme scheme ever invented. Skeptics will immediately scoff at the notion, but that assertion shouldn’t take away from the reality that he showed a level of lyricism that only a rare few rhymers can reach. The track is from his upcoming LSD album.

Haviah Mighty — “Thirteen”

Haviah Mighty offers an important reminder of the deep roots of systemic oppression on “Thirteen,” a track from her 13th Floor album. The animated visual augments her urgent, reflective bars, as she rhymes, “The system the new slavemaster ridin’ to stop us and bully and sh*t.”

Kahri 1K — “Out The Way”

Kahri 1k got up with Lex Luger for the thumping “Out The Way,” where he delves into a catchy flow and lets the crabs know, “It’s too much money out this b*tch you shouldn’t have time to hate on no n—–a.”

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

The basketball program at Howard University, an HBCU located in Washington, D.C., picked up the biggest commitment in its history on Friday morning. Makur Maker, a five-star center prospect and the No. 4 player at his position in the class of 2020, announced on his Twitter account that he’s decided to join the Bison.

Maker, the younger cousin of Detroit Pistons center Thon Maker, expressed his desire to start a movement among big-name college basketball recruits to attend HBCUs, and called on 2023 standout Mikey Williams to consider joining Kenny Blakeney’s program when the time comes for him to make the jump to the collegiate ranks. Williams, who reports indicate is considering Howard in his recruitment process, responded by praising Maker for his decision and saying “let’s shock the world.”

A former standout at Duke as a player, Blakeney has made it a point to try and bring elite talent to Howard since joining the program as its head coach last season. As he previously told ESPN, “Wherever a five-star lands, we can’t mess it up. If we mess it up, we may not have another opportunity to be able to do it.” The first half of that equation was accomplished with the addition of Maker.

Additionally, Maker thanked the coaches at the other three programs he was strongly considering: Kentucky, Memphis, and UCLA.

According to Jeff Borzello of ESPN, the Kenyan-born, Australian-raised big man is the highest-rated recruit to ever commit is the highest-rated recruit in the 13-year history of the worldwide leader’s basketball recruiting service. Makur currently attends Hillcrest Prep, stands 6’11, and is the No. 16 overall recruit in his class, according to ESPN. Should he get drafted, Makur would become the first player from an HBCU to get selected since former Norfolk State standout Kyle O’Quinn was picked by the Orlando Magic in the second round of the 2012 NBA Draft.

The Rundown is a weekly column that highlights some of the biggest, weirdest, and most notable events of the week in entertainment. The number of items could vary, as could the subject matter. It will not always make a ton of sense. Some items might not even be about entertainment, to be honest, or from this week. The important thing is that it’s Friday, and we are here to have some fun.

ITEM NUMBER ONE — One of the greats

If you’re looking to kill 10 or 15 minutes in the next few days, I recommend swinging by the IMDb page for Stephen Root. The first thing you’ll notice as you scroll — and scroll and scroll — is that it is absolutely stacked. The man has credits galore, something like 50 listed acting and voice roles in the last five years alone. And it’s not like he’s taking filler roles in VOD movies to keep busy. This is not an Eric Roberts situation. Stephen Root has appeared in like half of your favorite shows and he’s usually one of the best parts of those shows when he does. Stephen Root does not miss.

How far back do you want to go? Office Space, where he played the stapler-obsessed office drone who eventually followed through on his threats to burn the building down? How about King of the Hill, where he voiced Bill Dauterive and a collection of other characters for 13 seasons? The West Wing, 24, True Blood, From the Earth to the Moon, just popping up here and there throughout the last 25 years of television like a small-screen Forrest Gump, which I mean in only the best way. And this is before we get to his role as Jimmy James in Newsradio. You could choose any number of clips to represent his time on the show as the cutthroat businessman and owner of the station, but my favorite is probably the time he lost Phil Hartman’s character to a rival station in a poker game.

Perfect. Wonderful in every way. Does anyone on earth play a charming but kinda scummy authority figure better than Stephen Root? I honestly cannot think of anyone who can top him. Think about his turn as the eccentric Judge Reardon on Justified, a character who enjoyed both excitement and giving people the business. I loved seeing him pop up every now and then on that show. You knew it was going to be a good episode when Judge Reardon showed up to give Raylan a little hell.

And Barry. Good Lord is Stephen Root a blast in Barry as Bill Hader’s Svengali-like handler Monroe Fuches. He does this thing when he starts processing information where you can see the devious gears grinding behind his eyes, where you can almost see the little thought bubbles pop up outside his head, all of them filled with ways to game the situation in his favor, people and/or property be damned. He does this as most of his characters at one point or another. It is one of my favorite things. Very few people alive do the specific thing they do as well as Stephen Root does the thing he does. He’s like an NBA player who sticks around the league for 15 years because he can hop off the bench for 20 minutes a game and make 40 percent of his three-pointers. He’s basically Kyle Korver. Stephen Root is the Kyle Korver of actors. I stand by this.

Also, and this is admittedly less important than the other things I’ve mentioned but I’m still scrolling through his IMDb page and it’s becoming unavoidable, he has played some characters with some really tremendous names. A sampling: Hawthorne Abendsen, Rick Ocean, Mortimer Begoyle, Bud Gleeful, Gaston Means, Hank Maestro, Professor Robert Tubing, Clarence Sweetwater, and Steven Fingerman. His first credit is a small role in Crocodile Dundee II as a character listed as “DEA Agent (Toilet).” The man has been a legend from the beginning.

All of this is why I was so excited to see him show up this week in Perry Mason as the slimy district attorney. No one is better suited for a role as a slimy district attorney in a noir-y HBO drama. He even got to grow that thin little mustache for the role. It’s basically a perfect match of actor and role. Stephen Root does what Stephen Root does so well that it almost feels like we should create a separate category for it at the Emmys every year and give him the trophy. In fact, yes, let’s go ahead and do that. I would enjoy it. And he deserves it. Look at that, two good reasons.

It’s settled.

ITEM NUMBER TWO — Let’s check in with Paolo Sorrentino, creator of The Young Pope and The New P-… and he’s playing with figurines

That’s not fair. He’s not “playing with figurines” as much as he is “making a short film for a Netflix project called Homemade, in which a bunch of filmmakers put together little movies while quarantined at home.” But still, there are definitely figurines in his. And that’s not the best part. We’re getting to that, I swear.

But first, the plot. Queen Elizabeth goes to the Vatican to visit the Pope. Not long after she gets there, news of the pandemic hits, and the two of them end up stuck in there together. They realize they have a lot in common: they are both leaders of a huge group of people, they both often feel alone and isolated by their power, they both… like to dance. Which they do. The figurines of Queen Elizabeth and the Pope share a dance. And a skinny dip. It’s really quite a lot packed into about seven minutes. I adore it. But none of this is the best part, either.

The best part of the short comes right near the beginning when the news of the pandemic first hits and is broken to Queen Elizabeth and the Pope, in the Vatican, by, and I’m going to include a screencap with dialogue so you all don’t think I’m making this up… The Dude from The Big Lebowski. In figurine form. Complete with someone doing a really terrible impression of Jeff Bridges. Look.

Everyone is going a little nutty in quarantine. Some of us are handling it poorly, yelling at strangers online or watching our morale sink through the floor. Paolo Sorrentino is dreaming up platonic love affairs between figurines of Queen Elizabeth and the Pope, featuring brief appearances by a weed-seeking Jeffrey Lebowski, and filming it all with his cell phone. I would argue this is much healthier.

ITEM NUMBER THREE — Listen to Hanks

Tom Hanks is, among other things:

• A multiple Oscar winner
• A coronavirus survivor
• The nicest man alive

The first two are objective facts and the third is basically one too, based on every story you’ve ever heard and also this New York Times profile of him. The point I’m getting at is that when Tom Hanks says something from the heart, you should hear him out. Let’s hear him out.

“There’s really only three things we can do in order to get to tomorrow: Wear a mask, social distance, wash our hands.”

“Those things are so simple, so easy, if anybody cannot find it in themselves to practice those three very basic things – I just think shame on you,” he added. “Don’t be a p—-, get on with it, do your part. It’s very basic. If you’re driving a car, you don’t go too fast, you use your turn signal and you avoid hitting pedestrians. My Lord, it’s common sense.”

I’m dying to know what that censored word is. I’m guessing it’s “prick.” Imagine making Tom Hanks so angry that he calls you a prick. I would dig a hole 30 feet deep and crawl into it for a month. Only reasonable response.

I would also like to point out, on the mask issue, that being on a ventilator sucks tremendously. I was on one for like a month after my spinal cord injury in 2005. I did not like it. I can say with almost 100 percent certainty that you would not like it. There are tubes going down your throat and big loud machines and it’s really just miserable. Way more annoying than, like, wearing a mask to the local Whole Foods. Even if, in the face of scientific research piled up to your abdomen, you’re pretty sure masks don’t work, it’s still a solid hedge just from a cost-benefit perspective. It costs you next to nothing and could increase your odds of staying off a ventilator. I’ll take that dice roll every time.

Listen to me and Tom Hanks. Wear a mask.

ITEM NUMBER FOUR — A few relatively straightforward questions about Jason Momoa voicing Frosty the Snowman

Why is Jason Momoa voicing Frosty the Snowman?

Why hasn’t Jason Momoa voiced Frosty the Snowman before?

Who else was on their list if he didn’t want to do it?

What celebrity would be the funniest Frosty the Snowman?

Tracy Morgan, right?

If Aquaman controls the water and Frosty is made of frozen water, does that mean Aquaman can control Frosty?

What if Aquaman 3 features Jason Momoa and an army of snowmen battling evildoers on glaciers in the North Pole?

You would watch that movie, right?

What if they’re in the North Pole because the villain kidnapped Santa?

What if Aquaman has to save Christmas?

Who would be the funniest celebrity you could cast as the kidnapped Santa in this movie?

It’s Tracy Morgan again, right?

ITEM NUMBER FIVE — Game Night rules

This week, inspired by the release of Netflix’s Eurovision Song Contest, Uproxx’s Jessica Toomer wrote a very good and very correct piece about what an underrated comedic performer Rachel McAdams is, and one of the examples she mentioned was the 2018 film Game Night. I like that Jessica did this because Game Night rules. I just watched it again Tuesday night and can happily confirm it. The movie is just loaded. Jason Bateman does his thing, Billy Magnussen plays a charming idiot, Sharon Horgan kills it, Lamorne Morris from New Girl kills it, Kyle Chandler and Jesse Plemons kill it as very different kinds of lunatics. Just a good and fun movie. But we’re talking about Rachel McAdams here.

McAdams plays the plucky, ultra-competitive foil to Bateman’s stiff-lipped, dry-witted half, and she’s tasked with the heavy lifting as Bateman leans on his trademark sarcasm, leaving her to pull off the more exaggerated bits. She does, elevating a hostage scene with a wildly funny dance number that sees her character whipping a “fake” gun around and shoving it into men’s faces before accidentally shooting Bateman’s character and trying to clean his wound with a “nice chard,” a Good Housekeeping recipe, and a squeaky toy.

This is true. All of it. You can watch it in the scene I embedded up there.

In hindsight, both stars of The Notebook, McAdams and Ryan Gosling, might be better in comedies than dramas. Now I think I need to watch The Nice Guys again. I’ll do that while you watch Game Night. Fun little weekend we have planned all of a sudden.

READER MAIL

If you have questions about television, movies, food, local news, weather, or whatever you want, shoot them to me on Twitter or at [email protected] (put “RUNDOWN” in the subject line). I am the first writer to ever answer reader mail in a column. Do not look up this last part.

From Manny:

What’s a movie speech you can recite word for word every time it comes on? I didn’t even realize it until recently but I can do the entire “farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse, and doghouse” speech The Fugitive. I bet I can do most of Jack Nicholson’s “You want me on that wall” speech from A Few Good Men, too. I’m sure there are more useful things my brain can be doing with that storage space. I feel like you can relate for some reason.

Buddy, can I ever. And I apologize for sitting on your question for a few weeks. I had a reason, though. It’s because my answer is President Whitmore’s speech from Independence Day. I wanted to save it for today.

I don’t think I can do the speech without the movie playing, the same way it’s easier to sing along to a song as it plays. And I’m not sure I can still do it word for word perfect. But once I get cranking I’m good for some table-banging and thundering at the “We will not go quietly into the night” part. I am not entirely sure I know the license plate number on my car but I bet I can still do this at around 85-90 percent accuracy. I’m okay with it.

AND NOW, THE NEWS

To Virginia!

Drivers got a shock Wednesday afternoon when a group of big hogs scattered onto Interstate 95 in Thornburg, leading a pair of crash scenes, miles of southbound backups and injured swine.

HAM ON THE LAM.

HAM ON THE LAM.

HAM ON THE LAM.

All but one of the hogs were placed back in the trailer at the scene closest to the Thornburg exit. One more hog was found to the south along I-95 just across the county line in Caroline.

The state police did not say how the hogs ended up in the roadway, but said the investigation continues.

I know they mean they are investigating what human is responsible for the pigs getting loose and how that human’s actions or inaction resulted in the calamity described above, but it is much funnier to picture a suspicious detective questioning a series of pigs like Denzel Washington does to the bank robbery suspects in Inside Man. Really get that visual bubbling away in your head. It’s a fun one.

Some people were with the hog on the ground, which looked to be covered with a wet towel. Others had put a leash around one of the hogs to keep it from running onto the interstate. Another hog looked seriously injured and couldn’t get up, she said, while a fourth had what she described as road rash.

From the back seat, her 2-year-old daughter, Bella, said: “Poor piggy, piggy crying.”

Well, dammit. Now I feel bad about typing HAM ON THE LAM so many times. Not bad enough that I didn’t just do it again in the last sentence, but still, pretty bad. In my defense, it is very fun to type.

A couple months ago, American Dad superfan The Weeknd had the opportunity to star in an episode of the long-running animated show. The theme of the episode stood in stark contrast to The Weeknd’s public persona, as it was about the singer secretly being a virgin (complete with a song about his purity).

The Weeknd and American Dad writer/producer Joel Hurwitz recently sat down for an interview with Variety, and during the chat, Hurwitz said he didn’t pitch the idea to The Weeknd because he thought the singer might find it offensive. The concept make it onto the show, however, because The Weeknd actually called Hurwitz with the same idea. Hurwitz said:

“We thought the original song should play against The Weeknd’s brand. The writers room pitched so many hilarious song ideas. One day in the room, I wrote ‘Weeknd is Virgin’ on the board. I instantly regretted it. I was crying from laughing so hard, but I still didn’t know Abel that well. I thought it would offend him. Like, asking The Weeknd to call himself a virgin isn’t quirky — it would straight up damage The Weeknd’s image if the episode sucks. So I didn’t pitch the virgin idea. Then that night, Abel called me and said, ‘Hey, what if I was a virgin?’”

The Weeknd added, “When you hear the song you understand that it’s specifically for the show. Also a big shout out to Asa [Taccone, of Electric Guest], who is a f*cking genius producer/writer. Definitely will be collaborating with him more in the future.”

Read the full interview here.

Pull up a dang chair cause we’re still going strong here, wobbling very capably along the tightrope between NBA self-isolation and NBA semi-isolation in the big Orlando bubble, aka Bummer League.

This week featured heavy on activities — team focused but not necessarily mandated, like covering Lou Williams in long range paint projectiles. Plus the first team to arrive in Florida, the Toronto Raptors, hitting the green, the tennis court, and the homesickness pretty hard. There were also some birthdays! Isolation is both over and not over? Slowly shifting into the bubble, conjoining to make another, bigger bubble than just the concentric bubbles of physical distancing? You know we love to get metaphysical here.

Paul George, Patrick Beverley, Lou Williams

You gotta hand it to paintball, the pastime, for emerging as the preeminent safe team-building pandemic activity given that you can be both locked with the rush of nailing people you care about with small pellets of paint and loaded with PPE. Paul George, Patrick Beverley, and Lou Williams hit the dusty battleground? Arena? Why are these spaces always so post-apocalyptic or bust? Anyway, they spent a rollicking afternoon at a high velocity Color Me Mine and Beverley didn’t even cover his arms up.

Rating: The Clippers hang out a lot, they had that deep-sea fishing day trip back before the season started in September, and if you want to look at teams that are going to be problems I think an advanced stat you should be looking at is FRIENDSHIP. Thanks!

Bonus Paul George

George kept it cooking this week post-paintball, this time with a “little swordfish action.” He was panning all over the place here, pretty excited for a few nice pieces of fish.

Rating: No idea if he caught the fish these are from himself, or merely hooked them at his local fishmonger. Support local businesses. Thanks!

Jimmy Butler

Sometimes when you’re working out — or maybe not even working out, maybe just performing a routine task that needs to get finished, like rounding up another week of NBA Self-Isolation Watch when it seems like the week prior just melted into this one (???) — you might want to stop for a minute, catch your breath, or shift your attention elsewhere. In those lapses, it would be helpful to have a stern, monochromatic mural of Jimmy Butler just over your shoulder, urging you on. Jimmy Butler has one of those murals. But the difference is that Jimmy Butler is the one that turns around and tells his mural its slacking off.

Rating: Another incredible achievement for Jimmy Butler here this week, he’s thwarted gravity once and for all. His trainer had to in fact tether him to the floor to keep him from blasting up through the ceiling.

LeBron James

Let it never be said that LeBron James doesn’t know how to relax and have a little fun! This week he balanced his balanced meal on the lip of his ice bath and showed up to the Lakers practice facility at the crack of dawn before anyone, even the people who hose down the basketballs in Lysol, got there.

Rating: What music do you think he was playing while in the tub — Ultimate Gregorian chants or the Smallfoot soundtrack?

Kevin Love

Love got a haircut and his little dog Vestry supervised. Actually I can never tell if this dog is your average medium dog size made small by Kevin Love, on the same token it could be a gigantic dog made to look regular.

Rating: You don’t have to let me know, for I enjoy the mystery.

John Wall

Ice baths were big this week and Wall saved all the excitement for his caption here instead of for his face.

Bonus John Wall and Bradley Beal

John Wall and Bradley Beal are like best friends. To wish Beal a happy birthday Wall made his version of a meme to tease him. They’re lucky and so are we. Thanks!

Rating: Jk, we all know he is entering the higher meditative plane of hooper Valhalla in that tub, thinking about the nice Beaujolais he’s got waiting for him.

Bam Adebayo

Here’s a chill Adebayo ostensibly in his Miami backyard, letting the picture speak louder than words when it comes to the activity he is practicing that is best suited and most responsible for quarantine.

Rating: Do you see anyone in his physical proximity?

Tyler Herro

And here’s Tyler Herro, one day later, with a confusing slideshow of yes, what is probably a beautiful basketball court, but endeavoring his utmost to say the quiet part V E R Y V E R Y L O U D.

Rating: And I guess the loud part even L O U D E R.

Marc Gasol

Gasol’s been getting a lot of close looks lately on account of his incredible Andalusian tan coming in hot and how svelte he seems. You know what? So long as Gasol is happy, that is all that matters. And if it makes other people nervous, how defined his collarbones or how carefree his demeanor, and what it all means for the Raptors chance for a two-peat, well, who am I to judge?

Rating: But I do really need to understand how long his torso is, in yards.

Ja Morant

Out of the mouths of babes, you know?

Rating: Morant is a treasure and we are lucky to have him. Arrest the cops who killed Breonna Taylor.

Rudy Gobert

It was the bee king’s birthday this week! The bee king is Rudy Gobert. Remember, last week, when he revealed his only friend in isolation was a tiny little bee? Well, that little bee came back to wish Gobert bon fête.

Rating: That bee also took this picture, and painted the painting of Rudy Gobert that a one year older Rudy Gobert is smiling under.

Pascal Siakam

Siakam arrived with the rest of the tender (as in their capable hearts, nothing to do with their game-readiness) Champs in Florida this week, and hit a different kind of court with Malcolm Miller, who is actually pretty good at tennis. That’s what Siakam was lamenting.

Rating: Advantage, Toronto.

Josh Hart

Don’t worry, I’m here to assure you that this is A Thing Hart does with his very patient dog. He gently pulls on its protruding tongue as it sleeps, like really very softly, until it is well out of its mouth, then he slowly brings it back. They love it!

Rating: But this dog is probably ready for Hart to start practicing again, all the same.

Jarrett Allen

Sweet genius, notable would-be rocket scientist and the Nets truest hope, Jarrett Allen, completed a 3,000 piece puzzle this week of, I think, a Where’s Waldo scene. What? Did he find Waldo? I’ll ask that you please leave. Waldo was the piece Allen started with.

Rating: What’s not pictured is the quantum science calculations Allen was casually drafting up on the side as he did this.

Fred VanVleet

Ooooh buddy this is going to break and make your heart. Fair to say that VanVleet’s been missing his family a lot, since he was one of the first players to get down to Florida. First, he shared the inside of his custom shoes, in one the name and birthdate of his daughter, in the other the name and birthdate of his son. Both have outlines of the animals he’s said in the past he associates them with. Are you feeling a little woozy? Ok, come back.

Later in the week he shared a video his wife, Shontai Neal, took of him doing air guitar and nailing a really good-bad impression of someone singing “Sweet Home Alabama.” He only did about two lines before he cracked up.

Rating: Build you up to break you down that’s basketball in the bubble, baby!

JaVale McGee

McGee shared a closeup of his most precious piece of jewelery, a necklace his daughter made him.

Rating: We’re not sure if there’s an official, league-sanctioned award for Most Valuable Dad yet but we’re looking into it.

Joe Ingles

Ingles shared some personal news. Not about him though, about the teen he caught on camera peeing on his driveway.

Rating: This seems impossible but the permanently hallowed place skaters have held in my heart took a scorching off this roast. Ouch.

Delon Wright and Boban Marjanovic

There’s a lot of genuine excitement, no matter your feelings on the bubble or the return to play, that players have in getting back on the court and seeing their teammates again. I don’t know what could much better encapsulate that feeling than an ecstatic Delon Wright giggling his butt off at seeing Boban again, and Boban, egging him on.

Rating: Also it must be fun to hang out with a guy who got to pretend to fight Keanu Reeves in a library.

Marco Belinelli

Even if its professionals were on a hiatus, oral health doesn’t take a break for anyone. Belinelli had to hit the hot seat of dentistry this week and he was nervous! Also look at how big his teeth are back there! He’s not on relaxants, those are just his smoldering, Italian eyes.

Rating: Be brave, Beli!

Norman Powell

Like his teammate Siakam, Powell took to alternate avenues for sport on his arrival in Florida this week. He admits it was his first time on the links but, and I know truly nothing about golf, this seems like a really natural stance to me.

Rating: PGA could stand for Powell Gets Albatross

Josh Okogie

Man, my reaction was the exact same to Okogie’s when I saw this picture.

Rating: I picture his face as happy as the two eyes the dashboard instruments look like, the nose the steering wheel sort of appears as, and the mouth the bag of candy resembles all combine to make.

Jordan Loyd

Loyd aka “random guy in a suit” from the infamous Kawhi shot photo, finally got his championship ring! By his reaction, he had maybe forgot it was coming or else gave up watching the tracking on this precious cargo. He’s been playing in Europe this year so the other possibility is that when it arrived he was sleeping or just woke up, the time zones being their own entire damn thing.

Rating: What kind of tracking do you think was on this bad boy?

Jae Crowder

Crowder called this one exactly right.

Rating: The red text was a very nice touch.

Boris Diaw

Look I know he’s off many of your radars, but allow me to place him firmly back on. Boris Diaw is currently sailing the high seas, poetically summarizing what it must have felt like to be a pirate or else Tom Hanks in Castaway. He’s even got Manu Ginobili in the comments, asking for Diaw to get his gear ready because they’ve got some “sunken schooners to explore (bug-eyed winking tongue out emoji).”

Rating: Gino and Bobo in the remake we need of Fool’s Gold.

What even is “normal” anymore? For me, the past few months of living in New York City, my days have become a seemingly never-ending cavalcade of pretty much doing the same exact thing every day. So long that this is now normal. I know a lot of people say they forget what day it is – you know, that momentary mental error, then a quick correction – for about four hours on Tuesday of this week I thought it was Monday. Like even to the point where I thought, “Is that right? Yes, that is right, today is Monday.” I was like Dwight in that episode of The Office where Jim convinced him that it was Friday when it was actually Thursday, only there was no Jim to exacerbate this idea. It just happened naturally. It made me actually pause and think, hmmm, this might be a problem.

Movies have been surprisingly resilient so far, which has been nice and in my new normal, but there are still new movies every week. Sure, we aren’t getting the big-budget blockbusters we are used to, but at least we still get something. Who knows how much longer that can last? But it sure seems like quite a while? At least, it certainly feels like Netflix has an infinite number of movies to release. I picture a room the size of the Raiders of the Lost Ark warehouse filled with stacks and stacks of thumb drives filled with new releases.

But what’s great is, this week’s new release, Gina Prince Bythewood’s The Old Guard actually has that summer feel to it. That certain something that at least made me feel like, oh, this is the kind of movie that would be coming out right now regardless. The movie is good, but that feeling that a big new action movie was coming out in, what’s most likely, the worst July in all of our lives, strangely felt even better. Yes, the world is going to hell, but at least for a couple of hours I get to watch Charlize Theron kill some bad guys. It was cathartic.

Loosely based on a comic of the same name, Theron plays Andy, the leader of a group of (almost) immortal beings, who live a very long time, and spend that time doing very violent good deeds. Andy starts having visions of a U.S. soldier, Nile (KiKi Layne), who will be joining them as an immortal. So Andy sets on a mission to recruit Nile (well, it doesn’t seem like Nile has much of a choice in the matter) and explain to Nile why she didn’t die when she had her throat cut open by an enemy combatant.

While this is all going on, an evil man named Merrick (Harry Melling) has figured out the powers of Andy’s group and wants to siphon some of that off for himself. He’s enlisted a scientist named Copley (Chiwetel Ejiofor) to help him, but Copley has his own sympathetic motivation for getting involved in all this. Anyway, whatever! All good fun!

We have heroes with magical powers. We have a bad guy. We have action. We have Charlize Theron fighting her way through countless bad guys. It may be a pretty abnormal summer, but at least this feels like summer. My recommendation is to make a whole thing out of it: fire up some popcorn, order your favorite movie theater candy* (you’ve got a week for these supplies to get to you before this movie comes out), and make a whole thing out of it because this is as close as it’s going to get to a “summer movie” for the considerable future.

(*When quarantine started, I ordered a bunch of movie theater-style candy. The kind that comes in the same style boxes that you find in theaters. I even ordered stuff I don’t really like, like Sno Caps and Mike & Ikes. And what’s weird is, I don’t even really eat them, I just kind of like that they are here.)

My other favorite thing about The Old Guard is, for a movie that features immortal soldiers, it’s a pretty tight script. When we meet Andy’s team, they are already in action and the intricacies of their immortal powers is sprinkled in throughout the movie. This is a movie that screams “there will probably be a lot of exposition” that somehow avoids most of that and doesn’t get bogged down in its own mythology. From the start, we know who the heroes are and what they want and what the villain wants from the heroes. This is all anyone really needs in a summer action movie. So, soak it up while you can, because it’s probably the closest we will all get to that feeling of the “summer movie theater action movie.”

‘The Old Guard’ begins streaming July 10th on Netflix. You can contact Mike Ryan directly on Twitter.

Following his untimely death earlier this year, Pop Smoke’s posthumous debut album was released today. Shoot For The Stars, Aim For The Moon is already a lengthy album, with 19 tracks that account for nearly an hour of music, but even more could be on the way.

Mike Dee, a close and longtime friend of Smoke who was with the rapper shortly before his death, took to Instagram to celebrate the release of the new album. He also suggested that a deluxe edition of Shoot For The Stars, Aim For The Moon could be released by the end of the month, in celebration of what would have been Smoke’s 21st birthday on July 20. He insisted, though, that the standard version of the album would have to earn a Platinum certification before the deluxe edition would be released.

Dee wrote, “Long days long nights you was a beast at this sh*t you never slept you always had us in the studio all night but all that work paid off, and you worked hard for it Forever my heart forever my dawgz we gonna keep that name alive forever. album out now this whole tape has to go platinum by his birthday july 20 and the deluxe will drop.”

It’s not clear if Dee meant the deluxe album would drop on the 20th or if it would come out the next Friday, on July 24 (or another time altogether). Either way, there could be more from Smoke on the way, so stay tuned.

Shoot For The Stars, Aim For The Moon is out now via Victor Victor Worldwide and Republic Records. Get it here.

2020 marks the 25th anniversary of the Foo Fighters’ self-titled debut album. To mark the occasion, Dave Grohl recently sat down with Apple Music’s Matt Wilkinson to discuss the band and its origins. During the chat, Grohl revealed that writing “This Is A Call” was a big moment for him in terms of coping with the death of Nirvana bandmate Kurt Cobain.

Grohl explained how writing the song was “like an exorcism”:

“Most of the songs on that first record had been around for a while. There were a couple that were newer. ‘This Is A Call’ is probably the one song that… it had a different feel. It was a bit more uplifting than the other stuff that I’d written before. And especially coming after Kurt’s death, ‘This Is A Call,’ it was like a renewal or a reawakening where I actually found joy in playing and writing. So it’s strange because when you’re in that moment and you’re in a period of loss or grief or mourning, it’s like you pick up an instrument and that just spills out.

And it serves this… like an exorcism where it feels good because you’re purging a lot of these feelings, but then it’s also a bummer. Every time I pick up a pen or a guitar and I’d start writing something, it was just depressing. And after a while, I’m like, “Oh God. Is that all I got?” And then ‘This Is A Call’, something like that really… it just felt okay. Even a song like ‘Good Grief.’ I think that one might’ve come later. That one was maybe after Kurt had passed away. I’m sure it was, at least the lyrics were. But that was meant to represent the joy of sadness in a way, just feeling good about feeling bad.”

He also explained the steps he took and the state he was in right after Cobain’s death:

“After Kurt passed away, there was a period of everyone just hiding from the world and our whole world was turned upside down. So there was grief, there was mourning. We all rallied together. I remember hanging out with Krist Novoselic and the two of us making sure that we were okay. And then I did a little bit of traveling. I remember going… I took a trip to the UK. I don’t know, I just did a lot of driving around and thinking. And eventually, I started getting calls from people to ask if I wanted to play drums with them or join another band, and I just didn’t see that happening at the time.

And I’d always come home from tours and recorded songs by myself, but that feeling was gone. I didn’t really want to write or even listen to music, much less join a band and play in one. So it was strange, when your life is just pulled out from under you like that. I don’t think anyone really thought much about what came next. You were stuck in that moment. So eventually, I just pulled myself off the couch and thought, ‘Okay, I’ve always loved playing music and I’ve always loved writing and recording songs for myself. So I feel like I need to do that just for myself.’”

Watch the full conversation here.