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The NBA Announced Nine Positive COVID-19 Cases Among Players Following Its Latest Round Of Testing

The NBA is conducting a number of COVID-19 tests with the hopes of making sure that individuals who have caught the virus can isolate themselves and get healthy ahead of the upcoming bubble league in Orlando. In a previous round of testing, the first that the league has done since players began reporting to their team facilities, 16 positive tests were reported among 302 tests.

Thursday morning brought the latest word from the league on COVID testing, both among players and a number of team staffers. According to the league, nine more cases of COVID-19 have popped up following 344 tests performed on players that occurred between June 24-29. This means that, in total, 25 positive tests have been identified among players. Beyond them, the NBA performed 884 tests among team staffers with 10 positive tests.

According to a release by the league, those who have tested positive are required to “remain in self-isolation until they satisfy public health protocols for discontinuing isolation and have been cleared by a physician.” According to a memo sent out by the NBA several weeks ago, teams will begin flying down to Orlando for the bubble league starting on July 7, and it is unclear if or when those who test positive will be able to join their teams. There are, of course, still concerns about cases going unidentified prior to entering the bubble as the virus works its way through an individual’s body, as evidenced by Major League Soccer and a collection of positive tests that have occurred during their Disney bubble league among members of FC Dallas and the Columbus Crew.

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Netflix’s ‘Floor Is Lava’ Is Good, But Let’s Make It Even Better

Floor Is Lava is a tribute to backyard imagination, a late-era classic Community episode, and ’90s nostalgia offerings like Double Dare and Legends Of The Hidden Temple, delivering on our desperate need for fresh entertainment and our want to see someone faceplant in a low stakes competition. But what if there were higher stakes? And what if those stakes made the game more epic and aggressive?

If they get a second season (which is definitely going to happen), maybe going bigger is the play to keeping Floor Is Lava relevant. No disrespect to the show, but for sure they didn’t make it knowing they’d have to satisfy the wants of an audience forever broken by months-long quarantines and quite probably too much Netflix (and time) on their hands. It’s a new world and lucky for the producers, we’ve got a couple of writers — Jessica Toomer and Jason Tabrys — who have been broken in just that way and they’ve got ideas in how to make Floor Is Lava even better. Good ideas? Eh, let’s find out!

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The Lava

Though everyone goes to great lengths to pretend that they’re actually surrounded by lava, spoiler alert, it’s not. But what if it was!? Or, at least, what if it was something other than a vat of bubbling orange duck sauce? Something a bit more dangerous?

Jason: I will start with my first idea, which is probably my best idea: what if we just call it Floor Is Guava and it’s just juice. And then maybe some of the players are allergic and they get itchy, but medics would be on hand with Benadryl or a shot.

Jess: I’m not totally convinced it’s not juice of some kind already. But yeah, it would really raise the stakes. That’s something this show needs because the farther you get along, the more you realize none of this matters, which is also life. I’m not suggesting actual lava. That would be too hard to get their hands on just from a production standpoint. I feel like it would be an upgrade even if they just made it liquid honey, so that when you fell in, it was a struggle to get out. Like, are you going to be able to get out of that and survive? That would be interesting. Just tease the possibility of death. Or maybe something that burns a little is needed, like something that stings a little. I don’t know, maybe cover their body in paper cuts and have it be like alcohol in the lava pit.

Jason: So, Floor Is Vodka. Also, Netflix absolutely has the money to create some kind of synthetic lava. And, to clarify, you want the possibility of death to actually be there for your pleasure or enjoyment as a viewer? So this is basically like a Gladiator kind of situation where you’re sitting in your fancy chair, ready to give a thumbs up or a thumbs down. Should we add a voting element where they rescue them… or they don’t?

Jess: Oh?

Jason: No. Don’t like that as much as you just did.

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The Set

The themed lava rooms aim to create a sense of uniqueness from episode to episode, but what if we continued with the theme of raising the stakes and added a little more creativity to the show?

Jason: They could have gone bigger. Especially now that I know they filmed in an old IKEA. Looking at some of the shows that this is spiritually connected to — Double Dare or Guts. Those sets were immense, especially Guts. And this is not. Is that the key? I don’t know who they got to design this thing, but they need to reach out to children because adults lack imagination. They’re just putting shit there that looks cool. The thing that Rachel Dratch had to run through to escape Margot Robbie’s moment on Billy On The Street was bigger. And more impressive. And more fun. Actually, why don’t they just make that into the show? Let’s just have Rachel Dratch and Billy Eichner and that’s the show. And we have Rachel Dratch run through these crazy, ornate, super creative obstacle courses and we can have her yelling “the floor is lava all the time,” too, if they like. Billy Eichner isn’t doing his usual thing right now. He’s not doing Billy On The Street right now to avoid it turning into Billy In The ICU.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcAhV0k_ucE

Jessica: The Air Is Corona. Here’s another thing that bothers me about this show. With the exception of a few things like the spinning bed or whatever, everything is stationary. Why aren’t things moving when you have to jump on them or hang from them? I want to see feats of athletic greatness. I don’t ever want to watch a competition show where I think I could do better than the competitors. That just pisses me off. I don’t have a lot of pride in my athletic ability, but this show, even I could jump on a couch and they just act like it’s the hardest thing in the world to do. There’s no way I could do the monkey bars on the canoe, but I could hold on to one of those hanging curtains for a quick second. Also, nothing ever gets destroyed. Let’s have some breakable shit. Most of the stuff that they’re climbing on or landing on is made from a soft, bouncy material. It’s all like squishy material that you would make toys for babies out of. I would like some sharp edges. I would like some hard surfaces. You’re watching a show because you want to see people wipe out. You want to see people eat it. I don’t want to see them land on something that’s as soft as a marshmallow. It’s not that I want to see blood, but I wouldn’t look away. I’d say, “ooh, that must have hurt.” And then I would get even more into it probably. When you’re exposed to as much violence on TV as we are as children, I think seeing someone break a nose is not going to turn them off of the show.

Jason: I believe you could see bloodshed on American Gladiator and people would fall from a great height. Everything was padded, but padded like in the nineties, so not more than like a yoga mat on concrete is what I think that was. I feel like there was more danger in Double Dare. For one thing, very slippery floors. Absolutely you could have gotten more hurt in Double Dare, Guts, or Legends Of The Hidden Temple than in Floor Is Lava.

Jess: They make some of the surfaces here slippery, but I agree, I don’t think it’s enough. Everything is so well lit, too. You know when you see them torture people on TV and they put them in a room with like the latest loud rock music and the lights are super bright and then it goes dark? Why don’t they do something like that, like sensory deprivation? Or you could get someone with a paintball gun shooting at you as you’re jumping from thing to thing. Not things that are going to kill someone, but just things that make you stay on your toes.

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The Guests

A collection of cheery, friendly people take on the challenge of the game but are we missing out?

Jason: What does it say about me that I often find myself rooting for the lava? I can’t handle seeing someone say that they practice stand-up yoga on a paddleboard in the middle of the ocean before going out there. And then I have to root for them? I’m not programmed to do that. She just drops that detail like it’s nothing. If, instead of these amazing people, it was bad people… not bad people. I’m not suggesting we align this with the penal system and have murderers play. I’m not suggesting Running Man. But unsympathetic people.

Jess: People that we canceled on Twitter, like YouTubers or a politician? It would have to be people that we all collectively don’t like. Let’s Black Mirror the Floor Is Lava. If you want nice, go watch Great British Bake Off. I want people to scream and yell at each other. And I almost thought that was going to happen with the trio of flight attendants, but they let me down at the end because all three made it and they were so happy. I want to see people going at each other’s throats. I’m not interested in normal average people. What about a celebrity edition? But it has to be celebrity rivals, like if you got celebrities who had a real deep rivalry like Lindsay Lohan and Hillary Duff. Oh my God. There are so many that you could put in there. You could put Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan and Hillary Duff, the Holy four. The four-fecta. Or Monica and Brandy. Wouldn’t you want to see Monica and Brandy try to make it through this?

Netflix

The Host

Is host Ruttledge Wood right for the supercharged version of the show that we’re building?

Jason: The host — bearded guy in flannel, moderately pleasing personality. Do we upgrade?

Jess: That’s you, Jason. You’re describing yourself. Is that why don’t like this guy, because you weren’t chosen?

Jason: There’s a warehouse where we’re stored.

Jess: Like Westworld. An actual host!

Jason: I escaped. No, he’s fine. I just feel like you take a leap forward if you replace him with some kind of Muppet or some kind of talking puppet. Maybe Triumph The Insult Comic Dog makes fun of these people ceaselessly the entire time instead of being helpful or informative. I don’t need point by point explanation of the layout before the game. Just let me just see them do it. Preferably while getting insulted by a hand puppet. We’re laughing and we’re learning. It’s great.

Jess: And he could also give them like bad advice, like “jump here, go here, you should hold on to that.” Actively rooting and conspiring against them. I think we’ve done it.

Jason: Agreed. Get Billy Eichner, Rachel Dratch, Triumph The Insult Comic Dog, and a bunch of early aughts celebrity rivals and shitty people, nearly drown them in a vat of honey, let children create a bunch of crazy obstacles out of marble and broken glass utilizing every square inch of that IKEA, and then fire paintballs and insults at them. But we keep the lava lamp prize.

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Brie Larson Had A ‘Fire’ Answer When Asked To Name A Movie That Will Be Considered A Classic In 50 Years

All week, Brie Larson had been teasing… something.

“I realized something…,” the first tweet read, followed by, “Breaking the news to the family…” What could it be? A return to her pop music career? If only. It turns out, Larson was preparing her YouTube channel, which launched on Thursday. “YouTube has been a place where I have learned so much,” the Captain Marvel star said in her introduction. “Whether it’s been how to use my printer or it’s been watching how to be a considerate activist, this is the place to talk about things that are important and that matter.” Larson also revealed some of her upcoming interviews, including comedian Lilly Singh, YouTube personality Swoozie, and Hot Ones host Sean Evans. And, in what I’m sure is a total coincidence, she appeared on the most recent episode of the spicy food series.

You can watch the whole, increasingly-red-faced video below, but the key moment is when Evans asked the Oscar winner what movie made in the last year or so will be considered a “classic” in 50 years. “I think there’s a great chance that Portrait of a Lady on Fire will be considered a classic,” she responded. To quote another movie that was robbed of an Oscar nomination, I disagree: Portrait of a Lady on Fire is already a classic.

Céline Sciamma’s romantic-drama is also available on Hulu. You should watch it, as long as you’re fine with having a song that isn’t “Ja Ja Ding Dong” stuck in your head.

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Zion Williamson Marveled At Michael Jordan’s ‘Love For The Game’ In ‘The Last Dance’

Like the rest of us, New Orleans Pelicans forward and reigning No. 1 overall pick Zion Williamson sat down to watch The Last Dance in April and May while stuck at home. Williamson was asked about what he gleaned from the ESPN documentary during a virtual press conference on Thursday, and the Jordan Brand athlete couldn’t keep the smile from his face.

“You saw his true love he had for the game, his passion, and that’s why he is who he is,” Williamson said, adding that the film only reinforced the respect he’s always had for Jordan as a competitor.

“He just showed his love for the game, his drive of, he felt like if someone could do something close to as good as he could, he wanted to dominate,” Williamson said. “It’s something to look at man, that’s all I can say.”

Throughout the documentary, many of Jordan’s herculean accomplishments were rehashed, from his 63-point playoff game against Boston to the flu (or bad pizza) game against Utah in the NBA Finals. Williamson hasn’t had many such moments yet, but his competitiveness is clearly among his best qualities, and there aren’t many better athletes to study from a mindset standpoint than Jordan. Maybe it’s a good thing Williamson, with the NBA season on pause, actually had the time to watch The Last Dance like the rest of us.

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Cooking Solo This 4th Of July? A Texas Barbecue Expert Offers Advice

Plain and simple, Derrick Walker is a man who followed his passion. He’s spent his lifetime studying and mastering the art of the pit smoker. That depth of experience is precisely why we reached out to the barbecue legend to talk turkey — and brisket and ribs and all things barbecue — to help us feel prepared for our own smoky (socially-distanced!) summer cookouts.

In the early 2000s, Walker took his lifelong love of pit smoking from amateur to pro levels when he bought a small smoker-trailer and started doing pop-ups around Fort Worth, Texas. 16 years later, he transitioned to a food truck that quickly led to his own brick and mortar establishment in Fort Worth, the beloved Smoke-a-holics BBQ. If you’ve never been, let us paint the picture: this is one of those true Texas joints that are so loved by locals and out-of-towners alike that there’s almost always a stream of people waiting down the block. One of those spots where the line itself becomes a scene.

We got a chance to speak with Walker this week while he was pulling ribs from the smoker and wrapping them for their rest — a crucial step in all barbecue. Even while working, he took the time to lay down some serious knowledge about how we can improve our own backyard barbecues in a time when cooking for yourself is more commonplace than ever. Unless you happen to be in the Fort Worth area, then you really need to hit up Smoke-a-holics ASAP.

Let’s jump right in. What was the impetus to make your life about barbecue?

So it was my grandad who introduced me to barbecue. But that was a while back when I was a kid, like 12- or 13-years-old. He used to have a pull-behind smoker. That was the first one that I had ever seen like that. He was the one who taught me how to start a fire, manage a fire, and the ins and outs of cooking meat. But it wasn’t until I got into my early twenties that I really started to take it seriously.

Around 2003, I purchased my first trailer smoker and we started doing events at different venues and pop-ups around the city. By 2019, we got a food truck, ran it for a year, and then ended up here at our brick and mortar.

That’s awesome. It’s really been a life-long journey.

It has.

You have a proper family business. Your wife, daughter, and dad work with you. And your wife still works at a salon too?

Man, my wife is a superwoman. I don’t know how she does it. She gets up in the morning and goes to the salon and she’ll see two to three clients. And then she’ll be here between, say, 8:00 and 10:30 in the morning to make dessert. She’ll stay here and do everything from the cash register to getting orders out, to prep, to running errands, and then she’ll go back to the salon when we close and do two, three more clients. I don’t know how she does it.

Wow, that is extraordinary, man. So, obviously the last three months have been rough on a lot of the service industry. How have you guys been fairing in Fort Worth?

Actually, our business got stronger. We were already a carry-out business, to begin with. So, it didn’t really affect us much except for the first couple of months when we couldn’t let anybody in the building.

What was your workaround for that?

We opened our side door and we would just serve orders out of that door. And people stood in line all the way down the sidewalk. It didn’t stop anything. After that, we were able to let them back in. I would let them in six at a time. In the last two to three weeks, we’ve even doubled that. We got a line all the way down the sidewalk every day.

That’s great to hear. So let’s dive into some tips. Let’s start with sides. If you only were going to cook two sides for a backyard barbecue, which two sides would you cook?

Well, if I could only choose two then I’d have to go classic and it would be baked beans and potato salad.

How do you do your baked beans?

Well, here we add red and green bell pepper. We add garlic, ground beef, bacon. Then you got your white beans and your ketchup and your brown sugar. That’s your classic baked beans. But instead of putting them in the oven, we put them on our pits. So, they’re actually smoked.

So it’s low and slow and lots of smoke.

Yes, and lots of brown sugar and goodness.

Nice. What’s the secret to a good potato salad? Because I don’t know about you, man, but sometimes you get a potato salad and you’re like, “Eh.” And other times you get a potato salad, you’re like, “Oh wow, this is life-changing.”

I am an advocate of sweet and salty to balance that seasoning up. Also, I’m not one for the chunky potato salad. So if you ever come here, ours is like a rustic mash. It has little lumps, but it’s more so mashed. And at first, we got a lot of people who looked at it and were like, “Wow, I don’t know about that, my man.” Now, we have people that come here just to order our potato salad!

It’s the right amount of sweet. It’s a little salty. There’s a tang and a little bit of crunch.

How do you get that “tang”? Miracle Whip, mayo, or vinegar?

No. No vinegar at all. I’m not going to say mayo — it’s a family secret — but it’s, let’s say, sandwich spread-based with mustard. So our potato salad is yellow.

So then let’s look at the main event at a barbecue. Brisket and ribs are the mainstays, but smoked turkey is really big in Texas barbecue. And turkey is very finicky, man. How can we help people smoke some turkey and not screw it up?

Avoid high heat. You don’t want to grill it, especially with ribs. I’d say low and slow. Don’t overcook it, that’s the main thing. Just like any poultry, it’s easy to overcook. And, oh man, have fun with it. I think a lot of times when it comes to food, people are way too technical.

What temps are we talking with low and slow?

So, low and slow, you got 225 degrees, and not for too long. Definitely, if you got yourself a thermometer, take the temperature of your turkey breast. You don’t want to cook it after it hits 160 degrees. I know poultry is supposed to cook to 165, but if you wrap the turkey breast and rest it on your counter, you have something that’s called carry-over cooking. If you cook it to 155 or 160 degrees, it’s going to hit 165 when it’s wrapped and resting. So if you cook it to 165 and then pull it and rest it, you going to eat it at 175 and you’re going to end up with a dry product.

So theoretically, you could have brisket and a turkey breast on the same rack in the same smoker.

Mm-hmm.

Sticking with fighting dryness, how often should you be spritzing your meat?

Well, in Texas, and I’m sure anywhere in barbecue, there’s a saying, “If you’re looking at it, it ain’t cooking.” So you don’t want to consistently be in the cooker. But what I tell everybody is, whenever you have temperature drop, that’s your opportunity to open the door. So if it’s time to add some fuel, that’s the opportunity to spritz the meat.

What’s a good spritz mix to have?

It’s really subjective. I caught a barbecue this past weekend with a truck from another local barbecue joint, and they were using 50/50 water to apple cider vinegar. I even seen people use Worcestershire and water or just use water. There are all kinds of spritzers, man.

With my temp, I prefer a 50/50 apple juice to apple cider vinegar.

What is the secret to getting that peppery bark on a brisket?

The first secret is pepper. You have to be delivering with the pepper in order to get that bark. The second thing is time. It just takes time, man. You got a lot of people who want to try to cook a brisket in five or six hours. You can do it. You can eat a brisket done in five to six hours. But, you will not have that bark. You will not have the depth of flavor that you’re looking for. 12 to 14 hours with a good base of pepper and kosher salt will get that bark that you’re looking for.

What’s the method for cooking ribs in Fort Worth?

I dry rub the ribs the evening before. After trimming the tips, we apply the dry rub that we make here in-house. And then they go on the pit the next morning. They really need to sit overnight in that dry rub. I usually put the ribs on about six in the morning and they’ll come off the pit here at about 10:40 and then rest for about 30 minutes. In fact, I’m wrapping ribs right now as we’re talking, man.

Can I ask your dry rub mix?

You can ask. I’m not going to tell you.

Fair, fair! One last question: What’s the one dessert that you would serve at a backyard barbecue?

Man, especially in the summertime right now, I’d have to go with peach cobbler.

Oh, nice.

We have a dessert here that we call “Peach Thang.” It’s kind of a cross between a peach cobbler and a peach cake. The crust is almost like a dough. It’s crispy on the top, but it’s really, really soft in the middle. And then the peaches, man, are just sweet and cinnamony and syrupy and it’s crazy. We sell a lot of them. We sell that the most and we only do it on Wednesday and Saturday.

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‘Back To The Future’ At 35: Looking Back On The Movie That Made America Great Again

The View From 1985A

Back To The Future was originally released 35 years ago, on July 3rd, 1985, meaning we’re now further removed from it than 1985 was from 1955. I had a professor in college who would talk about how Back To The Future was the perfect distillation of Reaganism.

Just like Ronald Reagan was going to fix America by acting like a man, tossing out Jimmy Carter’s wussy sweaters and instructing the band to start playing “Hail To The Chief” again (Carter had discontinued it), Marty McFly travels back in time, teaches his own father to start acting like “a man,” and his reward, just like what Reagan promised, was entirely materialistic. He has a new truck, his parents can afford vacations now, and Biff Tannen now works for George McFly, rather than the other way around. Big malls and shiny guitars, the American Dream!

(I always thought it was a little funny that future George McFly decided to keep Biff, the guy who famously tried to rape his wife in high school, around the house as a handy man. “That Biff… what a character!”)

Back To The Future was both a reflection and a riff on America’s collective desire to return to an imagined halcyon age — specifically the fifties, before everyone started to fight about everything (or so a sheltered, suburban white person, or the average Reagan voter, might have imagined it). This desire manifested in electing Ronald Reagan, the cheesy fifties movie star, famous for snitching on “commies” and arresting student radicals, the president of the country. This was commented upon directly in the movie.

DOC: Who’s the president in 1985?

MARTY: Ronald Reagan.

DOC: The actor?! Then who’s the vice president, Jerry Lewis?

Reagan naturally loved the movie, supposedly laughing so hard at this scene that they had to rewind it. Reagan even quoted the movie in his 1986 State of the Union address. (“As they said in the film Back to the Future, ‘Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.’”)

Even as it joked about Reagan, you could extend the Back To The Future-as-metaphor-for-Reagan policy to virtually every aspect of the film. All Goldie Wilson, the black soda jerk at Lou’s Malt Shop, needs to become successful is a positive attitude and a willingness to pull himself up by the bootstraps (possibly inspired by Marty?). (“Mayor… I like the sound of that…”) The American Dream was still alive, doggone it, all it took was a little initiative (and definitely not social programs).

Back To The Future wasn’t entirely alone in these ideas. American Psycho parodied this same all-you-need-is-a-little-willpower mentality when Patrick Bateman tries to “help” a homeless bum in an alley. “Get a goddamn job, Al. You’ve got a negative attitude, that’s what’s stopping you.” (He then realizes he has nothing in common with the man and stabs him to death). Rambo similarly tried to solve the problems of the present by fixing the past, not quite by going back in time, but by rescuing the (largely mythical) American POWs and essentially winning the Vietnam War retroactively. I had a history teacher in high school who told us that it was those pencil-necked politicians who wouldn’t “let” the military “win” in Vietnam, so you can imagine how powerful those movie myths were (he also had an NRA sticker on his podium). Again Reagan aligned himself with the movie myths, saying “I saw Rambo: First Blood Part II last night and I know what to do next time [a hostage crisis] happens.”

The 1950s weren’t so great for a lot of people, but there is a distinct sense that for 1950s pop culture, utopia existed in the future, whereas for 1980s pop culture, it was in the past. Specifically the 1950s, or at least a whitewashed and retconned version of the 1950s, where bullies who called black musicians “Spook” got what was coming to them. “Make America Great Again,” drawing on the notion that our best days were behind us, was originally a Ronald Reagan slogan.

If America’s best days were behind us in 1985, what does that mean for us 35 years later? Back in the late aughts I used to joke that watching a block of TLC programming (with shows like Toddlers and Tiaras and whatnot) was like falling asleep and waking up in the alternate future from Back To The Future 2 where Biff is the president (also known as “1985A”). And who was the model for the character of Biff? You guessed it, Donald Trump. Now Donald Trump is actually the president. I wonder if he also hates manure?

If there was a sense that America’s best days were behind it in 1985, 2020 feels like an alternate timeline created by a rogue time traveler who has fucked up severely. I don’t entirely blame Back To The Future for many of the myths it embodies, it was even critical of a few of them. The fact is, I’ve seen it probably 100 times, maybe more than any other movie. Watching it in 2020, there are aspects of it that seem dated or silly, naturally.

The character of Marty McFly, the guitar shredding jean jacket kid from the ‘burbs who got to school by holding onto cars while riding a skateboard, seems like he was concocted by the same producers who came up with Poochie, the wisecracking hip-hop surfer dog from The Simpsons in “The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show.” Marty’s Eddie Van Halen-influenced band, The Pinheads, get rejected from the school talent show, by Huey Lewis in a cameo as a school administrator, on account of they’re “just too darn loud.” The guy driving the pick-up Marty hitches a ride on, incidentally, was wearing a Mountain Dew hat, perhaps the least believable of the film’s 12 paid Pepsi references. Back To The Future oozes with the kind of “rebellion” reimagined as advertising so ubiquitous in the 80s.

Netflix

But Michael J. Fox (famous at the time for playing a precocious Republican on Family Ties), maybe one of the best actors of his generation with the benefit of hindsight, makes Marty feel real. Back To The Future is paced and executed just about perfectly. Christopher Lloyd gives another goofy-on-paper character recognizable humanity, every bit of foreshadowing is clear, and every line lands. Not many movies truly are “fun for the whole family,” but I have particularly fond memories of Back To The Future. It might be the most commercially slick movie ever made, the perfect cinematic equivalent of its own theme song, by Huey Lewis & the News — slightly saccharine and wildly overproduced, but impossible not to tap your foot to. (Huey Lewis being another parallel between Back To The Future and American Psycho).

The narrative arc of Back To The Future was essentially Ronald Reagan’s vision for America. We would rewrite the past as something manlier, more noble, and in the process create for ourselves a brighter future, where everyone gets a shiny new pick-up truck and a hot girlfriend to take to their house on the lake. 35 years later those myths are approaching middle age. Like Eddie Murphy’s character in The Distinguished Gentleman, our own Biff Tannen simply swiped Ronald Reagan’s slogan and adopted it as its own. We’ve watched it mutate, like a meme or a game of telephone, from the movie cowboy Ronald Reagan’s reclaiming the myths of the frontier and the “prestige of the white man” into the game show businessman Donald Trump’s ideal of being an asshole at all times and never having to apologize.

With more distance from 1985 than Marty McFly had from his parents’ first date, I’d like to believe we can treat our nostalgia a little more critically this time around. That we can acknowledge that there are consequences to whitewashing past mistakes. Though to some extent it’s clear that we’ve already failed.

Vince Mancini is on Twitter. You can access his archive of reviews here.

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Soccer Mommy And Sasami Share Renditions Of The Cars And System Of A Down For Charity

In light of the pandemic, many musicians have found creative ways to raise funds for those in need. Father John Misty recently announced he’s debuting a handful of covers to benefit charity, and Soccer Mommy’s Sophie Allison has been doing something similar. Each week, Allison taps various indie musicians to share a single of their choosing, whether it is a demo or a cover, as part of her Soccer Mommy & Friends Singles Series. This week concludes the series with unexpected covers by Allison and former Cherry Glazerr member Sasami.

For her cover, Sasami elected to pull from System Of A Down’s back catalog and rework their 2001 Toxicity title track. Sasami strips down the song, reimagining the raucous number as a quiet acoustic guitar ballad.

For Allison’s single, the singer also chose to perform a cover. This time, Allison paid tribute to The Cars’ late vocalist Ric Ocasek with a soulful rendition of their hit song “Drive.” Allison also gave a rendition of “Drive” for a recent studio session with SiriusXM. “I’m really glad to get to release this cover of drive,” Allison said in a statement. “It’s a song I’ve loved for a long time that I started covering pretty recently. It was nice to get to record one last thing in the studio before everything shut down.”

All proceeds from the songs and the remainder of Allison’s Single Series will benefit Oxfam’s COVID-19 relief fund, which works in over 50 countries to prevent the spread of the COVID-19 in vulnerable communities and support people’s basic food needs and livelihoods. Along with Sasami, MGMT’s Andrew VanWyngarden, Beabadoobee, and Jay Som also participated in the series.

Listen to Sasami sing “Toxicity” by System Of A Down and Soccer Mommy cover The Car’s “Drive” above.

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Saweetie’s Homemade ‘Pretty Bitch Freestyle’ Video Might Make You Say “Whoa!”

Saweetie hasn’t been shy about her love for the music she grew up with. In the past, she’s sampled such 2000s-era hits as “My Neck, My Back” by Khia, “Freak-a-Leek” by Petey Pablo, and “Blow The Whistle” by E-40, but she’s definitely not done mining the sounds of her youth to drive her career forward. Today, she released a new single for her birthday called “Pretty Bitch Freestyle,” which comes complete with a sample of Black Rob’s relentlessly sing-along-able “Whoa!” as well as a homemade music video flexing her ’round-the-way girl style and newfound success.

Dressed in a baggy look that wouldn’t have been out of place at a Bay Area picnic circa 2005, Saweetie brandishes her glossy, nearly foot-long claws at the camera as she brags, “All my quarantine pics goin’ up, I ain’t miss.” A stack of red cups fills her hands as she dances through her marble-adorned kitchen reeling off her list of accomplishments, which includes securing a diploma from USC after basically living out of a car at one point. Not bad for someone who was considering getting out of the rap game for good not too long ago. Saweetie is hard at work on her debut album; don’t be surprised if a few more turn-of-the-millennium gems appear on it, as well.

Watch the “Pretty Bitch Freestyle” video above.

Saweetie is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

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‘Conan’ Will Be The First Late-Night Show To Ease Away From At-Home Filming By Moving To A Historic Venue

Conan O’Brien was the first late-night host to start airing full-on episodes (while shooting with an iPhone) during the pandemic, and now, he’s making a historic move. Yep, he’s stepping out, doing his Team Coco thing, and he’s doing it as safely as possible. In a press release, TBS has announced that the production is leaving O’Brien’s home soon (whoa, July 6) to start broadcasting from West Hollywood’s historic Largo at the Coronet venue. It’s a location that’s near and dear to the host’s heart.

“I got started doing improv at the Coronet in 1986,” O’Brien explained in a statement. “And I’m glad we’ve figured out a way to safely keep that theater going during this lockdown.” It sounds like a challenge but a worthy one, if it works.

All aspects of production will be carried out as safely as possible during the ongoing pandemic, with only a limited cast and crew on site to aid O’Brien in his travels while keeping a live audience away and conducting interviews via the Zoom platform. Still, the protocols involved with such a move will be substantial, though O’Brien himself seems committed to keep plugging away with much of his staff working at home. He’s also continuing to keep them all on the payroll, just like he did with his entire non-writing staff during the 2007 writers’ strike.

We can look forward to not only nightly episodes of Conan from the venue but also a monthly live-standup show, which will begin streaming on July 9. The Largo’s owner, Mark Flanagan, is understandably thrilled. “We are thrilled that Conan and his great team reached out and offered to help us through these awful times,” Flanagan said. “We have a long history together and look forward to many more great years to come.”

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A ‘Mission: Impossible’ Star Would ‘Love To Go Into Space’ With Tom Cruise

The next time a boomer tells you about how great things “used” to be, bring up the Space Race. No, not the one between the United States and the Soviet Union. I’m talking about the race between which movie series will shoot in space first: Fast and Furious or Mission: Impossible. That’s way more interesting than Apollo 11, or whatever.

When we asked Chris Morgan, who’s written every Fast movie since Tokyo Drift, if we’ll ever see Vin Diesel throw a moon rock at Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (the quip writes itself), he answered, “Look, I get all versions of that question. I get, ‘Are you going to space?’ and ‘Please, God, tell me you’re not going to space because you’ll lose me if you do.’ The only way I’d go to space is if I had something so good.” Meanwhile, Tom Cruise is already shooting a movie set in space with Elon Musk, the Rick to Kanye West’s Morty, and he’s “thought about” leaving this cursed Earth for a future M:I installment. “It’s the mechanics of getting it there,” he added. “How do you build a sequence [up] there and how long can we have that sequence? Because if I went up and just dropped, how do you put that into the structure of a screenplay of a mission?” Good questions, ones that Cruise’s M:I co-star, Simon Pegg, hopes will get answered.

“I’d love to go into space, it would be amazing! But you have to also think about your family and safety and stuff,” the Shaun of the Dead star told NME with a laugh. “Tom never does anything recklessly and all of his stunts are meticulously designed, rehearsed, and trained for. If he does it, it will be really safe… You never know.”

It’s not a bad idea: space might currently be a safer filming location than a soundstage.

(Via NME)