Month: July 2020

The 2020 NBA Draft was supposed to arrive in late June but, for pandemic-related reasons, the 2020 NBA Draft Lottery won’t even take place until Aug. 25. That means almost four additional months of discussion on what is a challenging 2020 class of prospects but, for the eight teams not heading to Orlando as part of the league’s 2019-20 restart, the draft is the next firm event on the NBA calendar. To that end, it is time to revisit the draft, even before the bubble convenes and the postseason arrives.

For the purposes of this mock exercise, we’ll be using a lottery simulation from Tankathon because, well, it is more interesting to shake up the order rather than running back the same pre-lottery procession. Without further delay, here is a look at how the 2020 draft board could shake out… at least in the event that lottery swings this way.

1. Golden State Warriors – LaMelo Ball (G, Illawarra Hawks)

Ball is the No. 1 player on my big board, and that is a big factor in sending him to the Warriors. Is it a perfect fit? Perhaps not. Ball does have the size to play between Steph Curry and Klay Thompson, though, and his passing and basketball IQ would fit snugly in Steve Kerr’s system. It is possible that Ball’s potential as a ball-dominant creator could be mitigated a bit by landing with the Warriors, but Golden State also gets perhaps the most talented player in the draft. There is no “easy” decision here for the Warriors but, when in doubt, take the best player.

2. Minnesota Timberwolves – Anthony Edwards (G, Georgia)

On paper, this may seem like an automatic choice for the Wolves, but it is a bit more complicated than that. Edwards’ defensive film was befuddling and, on a team with Karl-Anthony Towns and D’Angelo Russell, that isn’t ideal. From there, Edwards displayed poor shot selection and, in an average draft, he may not be seen as a consensus top-three prospect. Still, he’s probably the most talented player still available and, given that the Wolves aren’t in the market for a big man, the one-and-done guard does make sense. On the bright side, Edwards is best-suited to not being the No. 1 offensive option in my view, and he wouldn’t have to be in Minnesota.

3. Detroit Pistons – James Wiseman (C, Memphis)

As always, remember that this is a mock draft and not a big board. I say that because, well, this is not what I’d do. Wiseman takes more heat than he should in some circles of “Draft Twitter,” but he also isn’t a top-five prospect for me. Still, the NBA is definitely higher on Wiseman than I am, and the Pistons could be lured by his conventional profile. Detroit could have plans to re-sign Christian Wood as their center of the present and future but, if not, Wiseman may be the guy. I maintain a belief that someone will use a top-five pick on him.

4. Washington Wizards – Onyeka Okongwu (C/F, USC)

Washington was all offense all the time this season but, at some point, they have to fix the other end of the floor. Okongwu would help in that endeavor, as a modern big man that actually rates as my No. 1 center in the draft. This isn’t a full-blown no-brainer for the Wizards, but Okongwu does a lot of things well and he can help to cover up for some of the misgivings elsewhere on the roster.

5. Cleveland Cavaliers – Deni Avdija (F, Maccabi Tel Aviv)

Avdija is one of the very few prospects that put more basketball on film recently and, as a result, he is a popular topic in NBA Draft circles. Though his recent uptick in shooting efficiency doesn’t fully silence doubters, it is encouraging to see Avdija making shots at a higher clip. From there, Avdija brings intriguing two-way appeal, as a secondary play-maker and passer offensively and as a versatile, effective option on the other end. Just how high his upside is remains debatable, but Avdija is an unquestioned lottery pick and he’d help the Cavs.

6. Atlanta Hawks – Isaac Okoro (G/F, Auburn)

Okoro is a local Atlanta product and he does a lot of things well. The Hawks spent two lottery picks on a pair of two-way forwards in 2019 and, in Okoro, they’d be following that model again to some degree. He is a bulky, physically gifted standout on the defensive end, with top-shelf athleticism and power leading to many saying Okoro is the best one-on-one defensive prospect in the class. Offensively, he has a defined weaknesses in perimeter shooting but, from there, Okoro brings more on-ball appeal than one might think, showcasing intriguing play-making skills and a high-level knowledge of the game.

7. New York Knicks – Killian Hayes (G, Ulm)

The Knicks would love to jump into the top three to have a chance at LaMelo Ball, as New York has been yearning for a top-shelf creator for a long time. In this mock, New York gets unlucky with draft slot, but they are actually fortunate that Killian Hayes slips this far. For me, he’s a top-three overall prospect in the class, but the league is a touch lower on him. Hayes doesn’t have the upside of Ball in my mind, but he’s a skilled creator who is already flashing defensive aptitude. If you buy into his shot taking a step forward, Hayes is easy to love.

8. Chicago Bulls – Tyrese Haliburton (G, Iowa State)

Haliburton is a context-dependent player that could be miscast if placed in the wrong organizational situation. In Chicago, he could support Zach LaVine and Coby White by doing some of the little things on both ends, acting as a ball-mover and floor-spacer offensively while being in right places on the defensive end. The league is probably a touch higher on Haliburton than I am but, even with that said, he does a lot of things that could help to produce winning basketball.

9. Charlotte Hornets – Obi Toppin (F/C, Dayton)

Practically, Toppin may go higher than this and it is easy to see why. He was the best college basketball player in the country this season, and Toppin has a ton of appeal as a modern offensive big man that can act as a roll man and also space the floor as a shooter. Defensively, though, it is going to be a challenge, and Toppin is also significantly older than any other lottery-bound prospect available. Charlotte has a strange roster that lends itself to best player available and, given the team’s track record, they might be attracted to the high-profile college player with big-time stats.

10. Phoenix Suns – Cole Anthony (G, North Carolina)

Anthony went from being a projected top-five pick to a prospect that could conceivably drop out of the lottery. That is the kind of adventure that his freshman season at UNC was in 2019-20. Still, the reactions have perhaps been a bit too aggressive, as Anthony still has big-time pedigree, the ability to create shots and a higher baseline as a potential supporting piece than you may think. He isn’t a flawless fit in Phoenix, but Anthony could be an interesting backcourt partner for Devin Booker, especially as Ricky Rubio ages and eventually hits free agency.

11. San Antonio Spurs – Devin Vassell (G/F, Florida State)

Vassell is the epitome of a high-level role player prospect. He knocked down more than 40 percent of his three-point attempts at Florida State, and there is reason to believe he can add some secondary creation in time. Defensively, Vassell is a fantastic off-ball player, often generating deflections, and he has enough size and athleticism to hold up in one-and-one situations. He may not be “sexy,” but Vassell is going to be useful for a long time, and this is an easy choice for a Spurs team with a glut of guards to sift through.

12. Sacramento Kings – Patrick Williams (F, Florida State)

Sacramento is an odd team to draft for, especially in this range. This isn’t a team with a flashing need compared to some others but, at the same time, there are spots in which the Kings could use a boost. Williams is a tremendous vertical athlete with interesting flashes during a one-year sample at Florida State, and he would be a fun small-ball 4 option. How he fits with Marvin Bagley is another thing entirely but, given the Kings’ roster makeup, it would be tough to take a small guard (i.e. Tyrese Maxey or Kira Lewis) and Williams gives them some versatility and upside.

13. New Orleans Pelicans – Tyrese Maxey (G, Kentucky)

I still believe in Maxey and this is a bargain when compared to my big board. If you don’t use pre-college film and stats in evaluating prospects, Maxey will look worse, simply because his efficiency wasn’t tremendous at Kentucky. When remembering why he was a five-star high school prospect, though, the picture makes more sense. I think he’ll be able to provide a ton of creation equity offensively and, despite limited size, he’s a competitor on the defensive end that shouldn’t be a negative overall. Pairing him with Jrue Holiday and Lonzo Ball would be a lot of fun, and Maxey brings upside to boot.

14. Portland Trail Blazers – Aaron Nesmith (G/F, Vanderbilt)

The Blazers have a desperate need for wing help and Nesmith is the best wing remaining. Is he a great defensive fit in Portland? Absolutely not, because Nesmith is more suited to defending 2’s than 3’s, and that isn’t ideal next to Portland’s small backcourt. He does have a reported 6’10 wingspan, though, and Nesmith happens to be one of the best shooters in the draft.

15. Orlando Magic – Kira Lewis (G, Alabama)

Everyone is projecting a point guard to the Magic for a reason. They still need one. I remain a Markelle Fultz optimist but, even if that pans out, Orlando has very little in the mold of a primary creator, and Lewis could be that. He’s young, super quick and very skilled. At No. 15 overall, sign me up for this fit.

16. Minnesota Timberwolves (via Brooklyn) – Precious Achiuwa (F/C, Memphis)

Achiuwa is a polarizing prospect. Some view him as a lottery talent. Some view him as a second-round pick. That’s a (very) wide gap but, in Minnesota, he could let some of his more intriguing talents shine. Achiuwa may be best utilized as a center despite his modest size, but he’s a great athlete who plays hard and should be able to defend in time. Pairing him with Karl-Anthony Towns may be a good idea, especially when allowing for Towns to fire away as the best-shooting center in NBA history.

17. Boston Celtics (via Memphis) – RJ Hampton (G, New Zealand Breakers)

Hampton is very difficult to project, especially after an uneven showing in the NBL. He’s quite appealing with a combination of athleticism and skill, though, and teams that buy into his jump shot would have him higher than this on draft boards. Boston can afford to be a little more aggressive than some given the presence of three first-round picks, and Hampton is a value at this point.

18. Dallas Mavericks – Aleksej Pokusevski (F/C, Olympiacos)

Somebody has to take the swing on Pokusevski and it’s Dallas in this exercise. The 7-footer has immense potential to the point that it isn’t crazy at all to call him one of the more talented players available in this draft. Pokusevski is also quite risky in that the competition level he’s faced is anything but top-tier, and it might be tough to utilize him in the near future without substantial gains in terms of strength. Dallas can afford to be patient and take the chance.

19. Milwaukee Bucks (via Indiana) – Saddiq Bey (F, Villanova)

For me, Bey is both the best player available and a fit in Milwaukee. The Bucks could use another potent long-range shooter and Bey definitely qualifies, with a big-time pedigree in that regard. Defensively, Bey is far from a perfect prospect, but he’d be insulated in Milwaukee and he could be ready to contribute quickly.

20. Brooklyn Nets (via Philadelphia) – Xavier Tillman (C, Michigan State)

I’m higher on Tillman than the league is, and I’m willing to acknowledge that. He may not go this high. Still, the Nets should be in the market for a player that can help them now and grow alongside their top-tier talent, and Tillman can do both. Obviously, Brooklyn doesn’t “need” another big with Jarrett Allen, DeAndre Jordan and others on board, but with whispers (and logic) that Allen could be included in a consolidation trade for another star, Tillman would work well.

21. Denver Nuggets (via Houston) – Josh Green (G/F, Arizona)

The Nuggets have a lot of intriguing pieces, but they are still in need of more wing depth, especially on the defensive end. Green profiles as an interesting role player, especially if you buy into his three-point shooting development. He is a willing passer, should be a solid-or-better defender and this is an archetype that is really valuable in the league.

22. Philadelphia 76ers (via Oklahoma City) – Tyrell Terry (G, Stanford)

Nothing is more commonplace in an NBA mock draft than seeing the 76ers tied to a smaller guard who can really shoot. Tyrell Terry fits that bill. Just because it’s a popular fit doesn’t make it any less interesting to pair Terry with Ben Simmons and company.

23. Miami Heat – Paul Reed (F, DePaul)

The Heat don’t have incredibly defined “needs” on the roster, and many project Miami to select a point guard like Tre Jones or Devon Dotson with this slot. Obviously it’s still early, but Reed makes a ton of sense based on his off-the-charts defensive metrics and potential integration into Miami’s culture. Candidly, though, the Heat feel like a team that could do just about anything here.

24. Utah Jazz – Theo Maledon (G, ASVEL)

Maledon isn’t really an upside play but, at this point in the draft, he’d be a strong value. The Jazz obviously have Donovan Mitchell as a long-term pillar in the backcourt but, with Mike Conley hitting free agency in 2021, Maledon would fit in nicely. Beyond that, he’s better off in a system that doesn’t require him to be the lead option offensively, and there is a lot to like in Maledon’s supporting tools.

25. Oklahoma City Thunder (via Denver) – Zeke Nnaji (F/C, Arizona)

It would be on-brand for the Thunder to draft an athletic wing with defined strengths and weaknesses. That very well may happen. But if it doesn’t, the Thunder may be interested in Nnaji as an interesting complementary piece in the frontcourt. If you believe in his shooting touch, he’s a first-round talent and, with Danilo Gallinari hitting free agency, Steven Adams is the only player locked-in for the Thunder near the rim.

26. Boston Celtics – Desmond Bane (G/F, TCU)

This placement may surprise people, but Bane is legitimately a first-round talent. He’s definitely off-the-radar, aside from draft die-hards, but Bane is a 3-and-D prospect with big-time pedigree as a shooter, including off movement. Boston doesn’t have huge needs, but every team could utilize what Bane can bring in a supporting role.

27. New York Knicks (via LA Clippers) – Jalen Smith (F/C, Maryland)

After securing a lead guard option in Hayes with their lottery pick, the Knicks don’t have an exceptionally pressing need, but they do need more shooting. Smith definitely provides that. He doesn’t have big-time upside, but Smith can play both big man spots, space the floor and provide a lot of intrigue as a versatile role player.

28. Toronto Raptors – Jaden McDaniels (F, Washington)

Almost everyone acknowledges how difficult it is to project McDaniels, both in terms of the player he’ll become and where he might go in the draft. At one point, he was a consensus lottery pick but, after a roller coaster season at Washington, many wouldn’t grade him as a first-rounder at all. There is significant appeal in his raw tools, especially defensively, and Toronto can afford to take a bit of a shot on their player development pipeline. I like this landing spot.

29. Los Angeles Lakers – Grant Riller (G, Charleston)

This is a fun fit for both player and team. Riller is (very) old for a prospect and he played against sub-optimal competition. His numbers were off the charts, though, and the Lakers could use another shot creator in the backcourt that could help right away. I think Riller can do that, and this is more than an appropriate value given his lead guard appeal.

30. Boston Celtics (via Milwaukee) – Killian Tillie (C/F, Gonzaga)

The Celtics probably aren’t making all three of their picks and that should be acknowledged. Boston already has a bevy of young players and, as a team that is trying to win now in a big way, it makes sense to consolidate. Without projecting a trade (or two) in this space, though, Tillie checks a lot of boxes. For one, he’s a clear first-round talent that profiles as an exceptionally valuable role player if he can stay healthy. On the other hand, there are real injury concerns, so this feels more risky than it probably should, at least from the outside. It’s a gamble without clean medical information, but the potential of Tillie is intoxicating.

While she was still a rising singer at the time, SZA’s 2014 breakout EP featured some big-name musicians like Chance The Rapper and Kendrick Lamar. Ever since, the singer has worked with her fair share of stars, including a recent collaboration with Justin Timberlake. But collaborating with established musicians wasn’t always easy for the singer, as she recently detailed on social media.

SZA took to Twitter Thursday to recall being heartbroken after her first-ever feature request was turned down. According to the singer, SZA worked up the courage to ask Earl Sweatshirt to lend a verse on one of her early songs. “he told me no faster than I could blink,” she said.

Even though she cried after being rejected, SZA said she still respects the rapper’s talent. “There’s literally ppl that hate me rn that I think are SO talented and idc that they hate me,” she wrote.

Ahead of her story, SZA finally shared an exciting snippet of new music which fans have been anticipating since she teased a 20-track “music dump” last month. The singer shared a screenshot of a text conversation with her mother after sending over a preview of unreleased music. A few hours later, her mom weighed in with some heartwarming words of encouragement. “There is no one quite like you and your sound,” SZA’s mother mused. “Soothing and disrupting at the same time. Such rich variations in texture, tone and tempos.”

SZA still has yet to reveal exactly when her next record will be released. But seeing as her mom gave her music the green light, SZA’s next album could arrive soon.

Earl Sweatshirt is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

The bubble is live, folks. It’s been just over a week and all teams have officially arrived, though some are still in mandatory quar due to players accidentally busting out and/or risking it all for Postmates. What has also officially arrived, if you haven’t noticed, is the professional pivot from NBA Self-Isolation Watch to NBA Bubble Watch. It was a long, hard decision (it wasn’t) but ultimately, and if this week proves anything, there’s a lot happening behind the scenes worth keeping track of. Florida is melting down and the bubble is heating up — that could be this new column’s tagline — so strap in and get ready for the inaugural return of the Watch formerly known as ISO, now Bubble.

Maxi Kleber

https://www.instagram.com/maximilian.kleber/?hl=en

When we say the bubble is live we mean LIVE. Kleber and some of his teammates including Luka Doncic, Dwight Powell, Dorian Finney-Smith and J J. Barea took to their top floor balconies to blast an impromptu Benny Benassi appreciation set to the swamp below.

Bonus Kleber Kotent:

Maxi went to check in on Mavs assistant coach Darrell Armstrong, who seems to have gotten a Rapunzel themed turret room, the symbolism of which did not escape Kleber who shares Germanic roots with the story’s twisted authors, the Brothers Grimm.

Rating: I’d say that the best part is when the music cuts out and the guys are still dancing but the best part is everything.

Boban Marjanovic and Tobias Harris

A little background for those not keeping up on the summer soap opera of Bobi and Tobi. Harris had been feeling a bit glum because it seemed Boban, as is his won’t, was making some new friends during the league’s hiatus. But on arrival to the bubble, the first person Boban went to check in on was Harris. He stood under his window and shouted for him, like a towering Romeo or a less annoying Lloyd Dobler.

Tobi played it cool for a bit, scowling down at Bobi, before he predictably broke into a smile for his old best buddy.

Rating: Cameron Crowe eat your overwrought heart out.

Damian Lillard

Lill turned 30 in the bubble! Big bubble birthday! CJ McCollum decorated a “Presidential Suite” for him and the Blazers has a little bubble birthday in one of the hotel ballrooms not being used to house a literal hardwood basketball court flown in from a major market city.

Rating: In case you forgot how wonderful and humble a guy Lillard is, he was pretty bashful when his team chanted for his speech, thanking them all and being real cute and shy about all that attention.

Kyle Lowry

Here’s the first of what is undoubtedly going to be a recurring side effect of the bubble — your broken heart. Lowry’s youngest son, Kameron, turned five this week. Lowry was able to share some some wishes from afar but man if this doesn’t decimate you, I don’t know what will.

Rating: Kameron has also starred in such heart wrenching moments like Lowry scrambling to kiss him courtside this season after getting knocked down from undoubtedly taking a charge.

Donovan Mitchell

Mitchell checked out the player’s lounge which, compared to when other players, like Terrence Ross checked it out mid-set up, was ready to pop off with mood lighting and a decadent, purple felt pool table.

Rating: No idea if this is the same lounge where the so secret only Dwight Howard knows about them DJ sets happen.

Aaron Gordon

Gordon took his braids out in the bubble. Whether he is truly ready to let his hair down or there are barbers on demand he was preparing for, he put his new and improved Florida Man face forward.

Rating: I wonder if Gordon was allowed to dock his fan boat somewhere in the bubble?

Meyers Leonard

Have I got a wholehearted, complete 180 to admit. After watching his first act on arrival in the bubble be to politely order approximately four Coors Lights from room service, in his very formal and deep twang, I began to get completely behind Meyers Leonard, the man. Since then, Leonard has gone on to shotgun said beer of choice and get extremely excited about his breakfast shaped like one giant, friendly mouse, and I’ve no choice but to tell it upon the Magic Mountain, Meyers Leonard is a treasure!

Rating: Even if his shotgun technique resembles a giant snake devouring its prey, I will not be swayed.

Myles Turner

Turner, a big fan of puzzles in self-iso, brought a puzzle into the bubble. My guess is, from the time he dumped these jigsaw pieces out to this Bubble Watch hot off the presses, he’s gonna need a bigger puzzle.

Rating: Turner also signed up for Cameo, so maybe you can get him to finish a puzzle for you, the puzzle of your wildest dreams come true!

Robin Lopez

You likely already know by now that there is nary a thing the Lopez brothers love more than Disneyworld. Disneyland, too. Also Disney+. Basically anything Disney, these guys can’t get enough. But something strange has happened to Robin Lopez since his arrival in the bubble. Whether it’s because the park, as he knows it, is barred to him, or he cannot stand the idea that his colleagues cannot experience it as they were meant to, the elder (by one minute) Lopez has really been pouting! He lamented not being on a tour bus destined for Castaway Cay (it was going to practice) and then sat out on an empty patio and wished upon all the stars he was in Epcot’s Mexico pavilion instead.

Rating: Can Donald Duck deliver this guy’s breakfast one morning before things get bleak? Sheesh.

Carmelo Anthony

Melo, on a plane just prior to arrival in the bubble, signaled that he was already in a bubble of sorts. The bubble of his mind.

Rating: Look, he’s not wrong.

P.J. Tucker

There are a lot of things to wait to hear from P.J. Tucker on. For example, defensive strategy, or the best tunnel look to serve on any given occasion. Frankly I didn’t know I was waiting to hear what Tucker had to say on nasal swab testing but here we are, and it’s perfect.

Tucker then received a giant TV for his room.

And finally, Tucker took viewers on a tour through his room later this week. Strictly, his shoe collection. Full disclosure, this isn’t even all of it. It just became difficult to continue snapping stills as he excitedly swung the phone around from sneaker-filled quadrant to sneaker-filled quadrant of his hotel room.

Rating: Change ya whole shit up!

JaVale McGee

McGee took the Lakers perpetual little brother, Kyle Kuzma, to the waterpark this week. That or the elaborate hotel pool adjacent to the Lakers hotel. Imagine being so confident in your (roughly) 11ft arms that you know your phone has no chance of getting wet even as you rocket down a waterslide and into an open pool below? The absolute freedom.

McGee also shared a sign I HOPE is the motto of the Los Angeles Lakers, but for all we know could be the motto of the lifeguards who oversee this pool.

Rating: Getting chills just thinking of the total confidence.

Kyle Kuzma

And here’s Kuzma being very cool in the same pool he just got dumped right into, probably while McGee patiently waits for him to get the shot.

Rating: Maybe he was still scared from the slide? Can’t think of any other reason to be this serious in a pool.

Ben Simmons

Don’t worry, there’s a whole section dedicated to the #1 bubble activity thus far — FISHING — below, but for his heroic efforts Simmons gets his own special feature. How does one, with an entire body of water just there right behind him, toss a fish down onto the dock instead? And how does one so explicitly capture the ennui of that feeling in his face, mere seconds before it happens?

Rating: Please, someone, put this on several hundred t-shirts.

CJ McCollum

Bookworm McCollum did the thing all us nerds love to see which is unpacking every book you’ve brought on vacation with the noble intention of finishing as soon as you get there. Like you already forgot what you brought.

Rating: Meanwhile your clothes stay crammed and wrinkling in your suitcase.

Josh Hart

Who knew it would feel so good to learn one had a lot in common with Josh Hart this week, that is if one also really hates golf but subsequently loves chugging wine on a golf cart.

Rating: Josh Hart, the smartest guy in the NBA?

Hassan Whiteside

We know these guys are getting testing a ton but there’s something about Whiteside dutifully recounting what test he was on that really gets me.

Rating: I hope he does this the whole time.

J.J. Redick

Shotgunning stayed strong for, well, approximately only two players so far in the bubble. Redick, however, chose to perform his sitting in an ice bath which, even by JJ Redick standards, seems a liiiiittle bit extra.

Rating: That can probably got cold certified. Hell, probably got past that if there’s anything colder (there isn’t).

Dion Waiters

Waiters shared his gorgeous view for the next many weeks, an ample perspective of the very well-appointed parking lot.

Rating: Knowing Waiters, he will find the way to make the most of it. Like getting someone to videotape him popping wheelies on his bike or maybe roller skating laps around the lot in record time.

THE BIG THREE

1. FISHING

Fishing perhaps received all-time high numbers as a pastime this week. Players in the bubble CAST their fears aside and HOOKED their hopes as well as hours of fun. And well-stocked, slightly stunned from all the getting dropped on docks, fish. Here’s a little roundup of who was ANGLING for a good time:

Boban Marjanovic

Chris Paul

Delon Wright

Jonas Valanciunas

Happy to note that since this first attempt was captured JV has taken to wearing his mask over his nose as well as mouth. Another victory for fishing.

Norman Powell

Powell’s really nailed the forever-yard stare.

Lou Williams

Williams attempted to teach Patrick Beverley and Montrezl Harrell how to cast in the hallway of their hotel, hopefully they took the hook off the end of the line.

Montrezl Harrell

Paul George

I can’t decide if George is loving this or hating this, or waiting for the fishing fad to die down so he can roam these plentiful ponds alone.

Kyle O’Quinn

Tim Hardaway Jr.

Jerome Robinson

Robert Covington

Jarrett Allen

2. FOOD

Food — getting it, complaining about it — was another big theme this week.

Joel Embiid

Montrezl Harrell

What is this giant, secret puke slime ‘moji and where can I get it?

JaVale McGee

McGee, a vegan, made the best of his specialized meal. I hope he likes green beans. 80lbs of green beans.

Kyle Kuzma

Kuz brought his own panini press, obviously.

P.J. Tucker

3. RAINBOWS

Finally, rainbows (and gorgeous sunsets) landed in the bubble power rankings this week which, come on, did Disney set some budget aside for this?

Paul George

Kyle Kuzma

Rui Hachimura

Rudy Gobert

And at all the rainbow’s ends are largemouth bass and little individual containers of elbow macaroni.

Netflix has fully committed to pumping up their library of original fantasy series and succeeded on multiple fronts in the past year alone. From the satisfyingly sprawling The Dark Crystal: Age Of Resistance to the better-than-it-needed-to-be The Witcher to the schlocky-yet-complex Warrior Nun, the worldbuilding skill on display for these series rewrote the expectation book. Enter Cursed, which adapts the graphic novel from Frank Miller and Tom Wheeler. Miller’s 300 and Sin City comics built enthralling worlds that were successfully brought to life on the big screen, so expectations were high. The end product of Cursed isn’t as wholly satisfying as the aforementioned Netflix fantasy series, but the show carries much promise for future seasons, and it’s entertaining as hell.

Cursed also keeps the Miller worldbuilding tradition alive, thankfully, and in the process, it adapts his retooling of King Arthur’s origin story. What results is not simply a gender twist on an old story but an epic adventure that revolves around a simple tweak with domino-like consequences: What would happen if the legendary Excalibur sword — which is meant for the one true king — chose a queen instead?

The answer, of course, is a feminist one, and the show frames itself as a coming-of-age tale with players by Arthurian names scattered throughout. In many cases, they’re distorted significantly from the actual Arthurian characters from which they take their inspiration. That’s gotta be one reason why Netflix asked critics to hold their reviews back until release day. It’s a slightly counterproductive tactic, yes, and it can suggest nervousness about quality. Yet I suspect that Netflix mainly wants to avoid spoilers as much as possible because, for this series, they will overshadow the experience (as will the inevitable, arguably unfair Game of Thrones comparisons). So I’ll talk a little bit about plot later, but it will be no spoiler to discuss how Cursed looks.

Miller’s comic book writing is legendary, even when it comes to the occasionally less-embraced titles, but it’s equally important to note that his words are always supported by striking visuals. He comes by that honestly, having worked early on as a comic book illustrator and, later adding writing to the mix. The instantly recognizable paint-splatter effect of the noirish Sin City, for example, pairs almost too well with his hard-boiled words, and even when another illustrator’s doing those honors, the two elements blend almost seamlessly in his work. That’s often the case with Miller-based adaptations as well, and yes, Netflix’s Cursed does strive for the cinematic and largely succeeds there.

Cursed does a fine job of stylizing its visuals, as well as building a complex story base (even if the latter feels too bulky at times). Miller’s heavily involved with this series as co-creator (with fellow writer Wheeler) along with a few other descriptors. His presence is felt throughout, so much so that his visual way of thinking, and his mindset, even, are practically characters on their own. There are a few CGI moments of wonkiness (particularly one involving a talking deer early on — that’s not fantastic), but overall, the show’s visuals help one get lost in this world.

As far as plot goes, the pleasure of Cursed will be lessened by knowing too much, so I’ll tell you the bare minimum to encourage you through the door. The story revolves around a teenage girl named Nimue (Katherine Langford), born with a bond to dark magic, a mysterious gift for which she was “cursed.” She struggles with whether to accept her destiny on a number of levels, including not only the sword-selection thing but also whether to ascend to power and attempt to save her people from annihilation by the Red Paladins. Along the way, she deals with corrupt kings and others with ulterior motives, along with forests filled whispery threats and dark magic that rivals her own.

As for the Arthurian players, I should really only mention two of them. The character of Arthur, for example, is not the medieval character you grew up with. Instead, he’s a mercenary and portrayed by Devon Terrell (Barack Obama from 2016’s Barry) with the right combination of charm and swagger, mixed with humility and honor.

Then there’s good old Merlin, portrayed by Gustaf Skarsgård (Floki from Vikings), who is, at alternate turns, scenery-chewing and sulky. Merlin’s a blast, although a total mess, given that he was once a great magician but who has lost his mojo in the worst way.

From there, the series confronts sweeping concepts like rebellion, revenge, and the power of choosing whether or not to embrace one’s destiny. Like I mentioned already, Netflix didn’t want reviews to land out here ahead of streaming time, so I don’t have to do too much heavy lifting here other than to say that, if you’re a fantasy or a Frank Miller fan, you will likely enjoy both the familiar and updated aspects of what materializes onscreen. Cursed is another reliably well-constructed dark-fantasy series from Netflix.

Netflix’s ‘Cursed’ streams on July 16.

Anne-Marie’s impressive 2018 debut album Speak Your Mind was the UK’s biggest-selling record of the year and was even certified Platinum in the US. Now, the singer is ushering in a new era of music and has tapped Doja Cat for the earnest collaboration “To Be Young,” Anne-Marie’s third single of the year.

The vibrant video accompanying “To Be Young” was shot in quarantine and expertly compiles clips of both Anne-Marie and Doja Cat in their respective homes. The singers make use of their spaces, entertaining themselves by dancing on countertops and rolling around in their sheets.

Ahead of the single, Anne-Marie opened up to Glamour UK about battling with anxiety for the last decade of her life. “Anxiety almost blocked me from thinking normally and remembering things, because I was so anxious about everything. […] I regularly found it hard to leave the house,” the singer said. Eventually, Anne-Marie found her best way to cope with anxiety was to write it all down: “I think the songwriting has helped me so much, so that’s why I say to people: if you’re too scared to go to someone or worried about what people are going to think about you, or [think that] people are judging you, just write a tweet, or write it on a piece of paper next to your bed. If you just write it down so it’s in existence, there in front of you rather than just in your brain, it really helps.”

Watch Anne-Marie and Doja Cat’s “To Be Young” video above.

Anne-Marie is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Poor Kevin Malone on The Office.

If he wasn’t dropping chili that he made for his co-workers on the floor (a scene that was almost even more tragic), he was being mistaken for someone who’s “slow.” In the season four finale “Goodbye Toby,” Dwight hazes Holly, the Scranton’s branch new HR representative, by telling her that Kevin is “here on a special work program. He’s slow, you know, in the brain.” The accountant mistakes Holly’s kindness, like when she helps him decide what to get at the vending machine (“This is a button”), for romantic interest. It’s very awkward! But also very funny. In fact, Brian Baumgartner, the actor who played Kevin, called it the “the longest set-up of a joke in the history of television.”

In an interview with the Daily Beast‘s The Last Laugh podcast, the Oral History of The Office host was asked if he has a favorite Kevin storyline. He answered, “I would say my favorite storyline and probably the storyline that universally got the biggest laugh at the table read through was when Dwight tells Holly that Kevin is ‘slow.’ As a student of television and television comedy, it might be the longest set-up of a joke in the history of television. A four-year set-up for a joke, which I just think makes all the more satisfying.”

It was four years of set-up that continued into the season five premiere, when Kevin straight-up asks Holly, “Do you think that I’m retarded?” Even Angela has Kevin’s side in this uncomfortable moment, calling her Dwight-backed assumption “offensive.” Again, poor Kevin, but at least he never dated (and later married) someone with a bad goatee.

Yikes.

(Via the Daily Beast)

The lockdown continues but, luckily, Netflix is dropping a buzzed-about fantasy series and a twisted romantic thriller this week to keep us distracted from the burning trashfire outside.

Katherine Langford plays a different kind of Arthurian hero in Cursed, which plays up the magical elements of this classic story. And Nia Long gets romanced by Omar Epps in Fatal Affair, which takes a dark turn if the title didn’t already give it away. Here’s everything coming to (and leaving) Netflix this week of July 17.

Cursed (Netflix series streaming 7/17)

13 Reasons Why star Katherine Langford heads up this revisionist Arthurian legend based on a best-selling YA novel. Directed by Frank Miller, this take puts Langford’s Nimue (the legend’s future Lady of the Lake) at the center of the action, weaving in mystical elements and a brewing conflict with a terrifying army to modernize a story we’ve all heard before. Word is this thing is kickass.

Fatal Affair (Netflix film streaming 7/16)

Omar Epps and Nia Long star in this Fatal Attraction-esque romance drama. Long plays a married woman who moves to the suburbs and begins doubting her relationship. Enter Epps, who plays an old fling that she quickly grows close to. Some inappropriate flirting and an almost-hookup twist things further, but not all is as it seems, and some love stories should stay buried.

Here’s a full list of what’s been added in the last week:

Avail. 7/14
The Business of Drugs *Netflix Documentary
On est ensemble (We Are One) *Netflix Documentary
Urzila Carlson: Overqualified Loser *Netflix Comedy Special

Avail. 7/15
Dark Desire (Netflix Original)
Gli Infedeli (The Players) (Netflix Film)
Skin Decisions: Before and After (Netflix Original)
Sunny Bunnies: Season 1-2

Avail. 7/16
Fatal Affair (Netflix Film)
Indian Matchmaking (Netflix Original)
MILF (Netflix Film)
Pride and Prejudice (2005)

Avail. 7/17
Boca a Boca (Kissing Game) (Netflix Original)
Cursed (Netflix Original)
Funan

And here’s what’s leaving next week, so it’s your last chance:

Leaving 7/18
A Most Violent Year
Laggies
Life After Beth
Obvious Child
Room
Tusk

Leaving 7/21
Bolt
Inglourious Basterds

At the onset of the pandemic in America, SXSW was one of the first festivals to announce they would be canceling their 2020 event. Other summer festivals, like Coachella and Lovers And Friends, still held on to hope and at first postponed their dates until the fall. But as the lockdown persisted, nearly every major festival this year made the difficult decision to cancel their events. Even still, festivals like Mad Cool and Outside Lands have already announced their lineup for next summer but Lollapalooza’s co-founder, Marc Geiger, worries they could be a little too eager.

Geiger offered his prediction for the future of live music in a recent segment of the Bob Lefsetz Podcast. When asked his opinion about when large-scale events can return, Geiger said “super-spreader” events like sports and festivals won’t be able to happen until the pandemic is more under control. “In my humble opinion, it’s going to be 2022,” he said.

Continuing to offer his “instinct,” Geiger said: “It’s going to take that long before, what I call, the germaphobic economy is slowly killed off and replaced by the claustrophobia economy – that’s when people want to get out and go out to dinner and have their lives, go to festivals and shows. It’s my instinct, that’s going to take a while because super-spreader events – sports, shows, festivals… aren’t going to do too well when the virus is this present.”

The festival co-founder continued that there are “probably 20” issues to be dealt with before live music can safely return, including “spacing and density” as well as the “infinite liability” festival organizers will face against insurance companies. Geiger concluded that “the next six months may be more painful than the last six months, and maybe the next six months after that are even more so.”

Listen to Geiger’s full interview on the Bob Lefsetz Podcast here.

Brian Baumgartner’s An Oral History of ‘The Office’ is not the only shiny new podcast out this month. Over on Team Coco’s podcast network, they have added Rob Lowe’s Literally! podcast to go along with another podcast from a Parks and Rec alum, Nick Offerman’s In Bed with Nick and Megan. Recently, Rob Lowe debuted his podcast with his first guest, Chris Pratt, the blockbuster star of the Guardians of the Galaxy franchise, as well as the Jurassic World series.

Turns out that Chris Pratt and Rob Lowe have remained very good friends post-Parks and Recreation (in fact, Pratt’s wife, Katherine Schwarzenegger, also appears to hang out regularly with Rob Lowe’s wife, Sheryl Berkoff). In addition to talking about Pratt’s success since Parks and Rec, as well as their love of certain movies (including Lowe’s St. Elmo’s Fire), the two reminisced at length about their time together on the Amy Poehler sitcom, including a story “that’s been told a thousand times” within the show’s family about the “single greatest ad lib in the history of Parks and Rec.”

“It’s the flu season episode,” Chris Pratt recounts, acknowledging Rob Lowe’s ad-lib, “Stop pooping!” in that same episode may have actually been better, or at least the second best ad-lib in Parks history. In any respect, everyone was sick in that episode, so Andy was taking over and “sitting at Jim’s desk, and I was sitting in Jim’s position. Ben is walking Leslie out saying, ‘You have a fever. You have the flu. You need to go.’”

“And then Tom [Magil, the director of photography] says, ‘Hey Pratt. You wanna say anything? We might catch you in the background, so you might want to improv a line or two.’ So, they stuck a mic on the desk and when they were walking out, I improved the line where I had a computer in front of me and I said, ‘Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here, and it says up here that you could have network connectivity problems.’”

“Mike Schur [the show’s writer and creator] gets so mad about it,” Pratt says, “because he writes jokes, and he’s very generous, and he writes amazing jokes all the time, but he’s always been very effusive and complimenting of that joke.”

“It’s the perfect joke,” Rob Lowe continues, “because it’s hilarious, it’s story-point driven, and you are the only character who could have said it. That’s why it’s so great. I mean, in theory, anyone could have said, ‘Stop pooping’ and it would have been funny. Andy is the only person — other than Jerry, who is an idiot — who could say, ‘You have Internet connectivity problems.’”

“I know it’s a good joke,” Pratt adds, “because every once in a while, I’ll repeat it to myself and laugh. A joke that makes you laugh every time you hear it is a good joke.”

“When I need to stop pooping,” Rob Lowe concludes, “I say to myself, ‘Stop pooping,’ and then I laugh, and then I continue to poop.’”

Source: Literally! with Rob Lowe

It took just over 13 minutes for Zac Efron’s new travel series, Down to Earth, to win me over completely. I was teetering in that direction before that, to be fair. The first episode takes place in Iceland and is all about sustainable energy and how the country has weaned itself off fossil fuels. It opens with a segment where Zac and his co-host, wellness guru Darin Olien, meet with an awesome Icelandic dude who a) showed them how to bake rye bread by burying it underground in the piping hot soil that is heated by a nearby volcano, and b) explained that he watched the same volcano’s most recent eruption from his hot tub. This is an excellent way to start any episode of television, for any show. Kick off the next season of Succession with Cousin Greg and a bearded Icelandic dude soaking in a hot tub while a volcano blows fiery lava towards the heavens in the distance. Do it in a cold open, before the opening credits and tinkly pianos hit. You don’t even need to explain it. I cannot stress in strong enough terms that I am not joking about this.

So, yes, teetering, understandably. But what came next pushed me over the edge. Zac and Darin hopped in a car with a guide to go to a geothermal plant so they could learn more about how Iceland uses water and steam to power huge chunks of the country. As they pulled up, the guide and Zac had this conversation, which I promise I have not edited or taken out of context in any way.

This is my favorite show now.

I’m going to back up, quickly. I don’t have time to do it any other way. I have way too many screencaps from this show to share with you. But it is important, I think, to note one thing: I came into this show with cynicism. I was expecting it to be one of those humorless celebrity vanity projects where an A-list star frowns while discussing your carbon footprint. I was expecting, at best, to point and laugh as a couple of Los Angeles bros “discovered” electricity. And it is that second thing, sometimes, to be sure. But it’s also more than that. Let me put it this way: I was not expecting, at all, to be completely won over by the earnest enthusiasm of two dudes who were just super excited to learn cool shit about the Earth.

I mean, look how freaking stoked they are about turbines.

The whole series is like this. It’s incredible. Huge chunks of the show are just scientists and experts explaining stuff and then these guys being blown away by how cool it is. They meet with urban beekeepers to learn about how city bees can produce healthier honey because they’re not messing with plants that have been doused in pesticides. They go to the Amazon to climb trees and explore natural ways humans can boost their immune system. They go to Peru to learn about potatoes and cryptopreservation efforts to make sure there’s a food supply to sustain the survivors of a near-apocalyptic event. They go to France to learn so, so much about water and water purity, and they meet with an incredibly weird dude who calls himself a “water sommelier.”

If you play a drinking game during the show where you take a sip every time you hear “whoa,” “wow,” “rad,” or “sick,” you’ll be watching the second half of the season from the hospital. It shouldn’t be nearly as charming as it is. And yet!

My favorite episode takes place in Sardinia, a small island off the coast of Italy known for being a Blue Zone, one of the places in the world with an abnormal number of residents who live to be 100 years old. They talk to doctors and experts and dozens of very old people, and yes, all of the very old people find Zac Efron very adorable. You cannot possibly imagine how much 100-year-old women love Zac Efron. Maybe you can. It’s a lot.

The best part of the episode is when the people of Sardinia explain multiple times that one of their secrets is a diet that is both low in protein and does not shun carbs. This information absolutely shatters Zac Efron, a man who spends about 15 percent of this show shirtless and just shredded out of his mind thanks to a high-protein diet and an avoidance of carbs that, by his own admission, included a six-month carb-free stretch to prepare for the Baywatch movie. His face in these moments is the face of a man discovering his whole world was a lie. It’s like The Truman Show but with spaghetti.

An example will help. This is a screencap of him eating pasta he made. It does not do the scene justice. He really is so deeply happy to be eating these carbs.

It’s the most pure thing you’ve ever seen in your life. There is not a droplet of cynicism present in the entire show, except for when Anna Kendrick joins them briefly in France and makes fun of the water sommelier, a little bit, to his face, which is also charming and fun in a different way. The whole thing is somehow both the polar opposite of a Bourdain-style travel show and one that accomplishes a similar purpose. Both of them just want to bounce around the globe and show you the cool stuff they found. They want to make the world a little smaller and better. They would not have gotten along even a little bit, sure, largely because Bourdain would have hated Darin so much, but whatever. Not the point. There’s more than one way to experience the world, you know?

Here’s the craziest part: By the end of the show, I was kind of envious of Zac Efron. His worldview is so refreshing, so free of the kind of forced irony you see from a lot of people on television. Would I have felt this way without the melancholy of a pandemic hanging over me? I don’t know. Maybe not! But that’s not really the point either. The point is that Zac Efron is just so powerfully enthused — so jazzed — to be learning all this stuff and to be sharing it with people. He is sharing it with a lot of people, too. Between his name recognition and the show’s platform on Netflix, he might be reaching more people with these messages than anyone on Earth right now. That’s pretty cool. That’s rad. That’s, well… that’s kind of… okay, I’ll say it. Fine. I’ll say it. That’s…