On Sunday, The New York Times revealed they’d gotten their hands on President Donald Trump’s long-withheld tax returns, and surprise surprise, the news wasn’t great. The short version of the epic piece: His entire empire is a dense latticework of money-losing businesses propped up by tax grifts big and small, ready to crumble at any minute — say, as soon as he leaves the White House.
But there were a number of details that did come as a surprise. The one that got most people more than most was also the piece’s lede, which comprised these damning words: “Donald J. Trump paid $750 in federal income taxes the year he won the presidency. In his first year in the White House, he paid another $750.”
There was more — a lot more. There were detailed attempts to untangle his Christmas tree lights ball that were his finances. There were shady transpirings. There were salacious details, such as that he had his administration hire his daughter Ivanka as a private consultant when she was already a White House employee, to reduce his taxable income, then deducted the fee “as a cost of doing business.” There was them labeling one of their frequented homes as an “investment property” for tax savings, which they would have gotten away with had Eric Trump not blabbed the truth to Forbes back in 2014.
But it was hard to get past that lede — that damning opening intel. Upon learning a self-proclaimed billionaire was paying almost nothing in taxes — and had paid actually nothing for many years — was not well received online.
My face when I read $750 pic.twitter.com/USa11qkY5z
— Eugene Lee Yang (@EugeneLeeYang) September 27, 2020
Some asked if anyone had paid more than a purported business wiz in taxes.
Raise your hand if you paid more than $750 in taxes in BOTH 2016 and 2017. #TrumpTaxes
— Kurt “Mask Up, Vote Early” Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) September 27, 2020
Some pointed out that Joe and Jill Biden paid quite a lot more than that, despite allegedly not being as wealthy as the Trumps.
Taxes paid in 2017….
Joe & Jill Biden $3,742,974
Donald & Melania Trump $750#TrumpTaxes
— YS (@NYinLA2121) September 27, 2020
Some pointed out that he’d paid more in taxes in other countries where he’s not president.
In 2017, Trump paid $750 in federal taxes, but paid
—$15,598 in Panama
—$145,400 in India
—$156,824 in the PhilippinesSo much for America first.
— Robert Reich (@RBReich) September 27, 2020
Others tried to reason with his ride-or-die supporters.
Dear MAGAs
Think about what you paid for your family’s health care last year.
Now think about the fact that the so-called billionaire Donald Trump paid only 750 dollars in taxes.
Everything you have been told is a LIE.
Donald Trump is a FRAUD.
— Don Winslow (@donwinslow) September 27, 2020
“Al Capone” started trending.
The IRS got Al Capone, they’re gonna get Donald Trump next.#TrumpTaxes
— Grant Stern (@grantstern) September 27, 2020
President Donald Capone.
— Rob Reiner (@robreiner) September 27, 2020
Republicans’ only way to defend Trump’s apparent tax evasion is to say that he’s a smart criminal. That’s how far they have fallen. Remember Al Capone went to prison for tax evasion. Any other President would be done, but not the cult leader. #TrumpTaxReturns
— Mrs. Krassenstein (@HKrassenstein) September 27, 2020
A reminder that Trump doesn’t know how to spell Al’s full name, “Alphonse,” despite weirdly trying to use it.
Al Capone trending. pic.twitter.com/UrLpRhb7yE
— Schooley (@Rschooley) September 27, 2020
It’s enraging, upsetting news, but some tried to find gallows humor.
I don’t know a lot about taxes, but I do know that $750 is roughly 46 minutes in the ICU
— Dr. Glaucomflecken (@DGlaucomflecken) September 27, 2020
trump paid $750 in taxes and killed 200,000 people
— God (@thegoodgodabove) September 27, 2020
Or still make jokes.
The Rock literally EATS $750 as a snack.
— billy eichner (@billyeichner) September 27, 2020
the only shocking thing about Trump paying just $750 in federal taxes is that the $750 check didn’t bounce
— Matt Oswalt (@MattOswaltVA) September 27, 2020
One that was definitely both funny and angering was the $70,000 he pays for hair products. To maintain that.
Trump deducted $70,000 in ‘hairstyling’ expenses, his returns show
— David Lazarus (@Davidlaz) September 27, 2020
$70,000 for hair styling pic.twitter.com/g5qOxRkwK5
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) September 27, 2020
He spent 70,000 dollars on his hair https://t.co/MPGWf4VIGK
— Molly Jong-Fast (@MollyJongFast) September 27, 2020
Wait a minute. He paid $70,000 to hairstylists to make his hair look like THAT? https://t.co/3Gp9RVDjgg
— Paul Begala (@PaulBegala) September 27, 2020
A tax deduction for $70K in hairstyling? What a sucker. My man Jim will cut his hair for $25 and it won’t look like fake straw painted with Mayonnaise.
— Tom Matzzie (@tommatzzie) September 27, 2020
Eventually #TrumpIsBroke started trending.
A fragile narcissist like Trump probably won’t love seeing #TrumpIsBroke trending.
— The Hoarse Whisperer (@TheRealHoarse) September 27, 2020
It’s all becoming clearer now…#TrumpTaxReturns #TrumpIsBroke #TrumpTaxes pic.twitter.com/vhqLikfh73
— James Buchanan (@POTUS_15) September 27, 2020
If you want a President who runs America like a business, maybe pick one who isn’t broke. #TrumpIsBroke
— JRehling (@JRehling) September 27, 2020
So maybe there’s a silver lining to all this. Sort of.
I feel personally vindicated knowing that I’m richer than Donald Trump. #TrumpIsBroke
— Bleeding Heart Liberal Marine (@BleedingMarine) September 27, 2020
Anyway, election day is Tueday, November 3, and many states are already sending out absentee ballots and allowing early voting.