Irish Supreme Court Rules That Subway Bread Isn’t Really Bread

We’re willing to call it — if you ask any American to name five of the healthiest fast food options, Subway is definitely landing in that top five. Well, Ireland begs to differ. The Irish Supreme Court has officially ruled that the bread served at Subway cannot be legally defined as “bread.” According to the Irish Independent, every bread variety at Subway contains too much sugar to be legally defined as a staple food, which means it’s subject to Ireland’s Value-Added Tax Act of 1972.

According to the Guardian, the ruling followed an appeal by Subway franchisee Bookfinders LTD who attempted to dodge the VAT by arguing that despite Subway’s bread sugar content being five times higher than the qualifying limit under the tax, because it is labeled “bread” it should be considered a staple food, which would exempt it from the VAT.

Unfortunately for Bookfinders, the court wasn’t buying that the bread was bread to begin with, offering this hilarious legalize-tinged ruling:

“The Argument depends on the acceptance of the prior contention that the Subway heated sandwich contains ‘bread’ as defined, and therefore can be said to be food for the purposes of the Second Schedule rather than confectionary. Since that argument has been rejected, this subsidiary argument must fail.”

So if Subway sandwich bread isn’t bread, then what the hell is it? Well according to the Irish Court, it should be considered a confectionary, which is defined as a food “rich in sugar and carbohydrates.” Basically, cake.