Noted basketball fan Halsey has made some of the biggest pop songs of the past decade, but there’s also a strong alternative influence in some of her material (she featured on a surprise EP from Bring Me The Horizon last year, for example). Now she’s going to bat for alternative female musicians by attesting that they get the short end of the stick in terms of airplay.
A former morning host and program director for Radio 104.5/Philadelphia known as just Johnny tweeted this morning, “2020 #Alternative music is having major identity crisis. Just turned on @amazonmusic ‘new Alt playlist’ and heard @deftones into @taylorswift13 into @halsey WTF?” That caught Halsey’s attention, as she responded, “Of the last 89 songs 104.5 has played on their station, 3 of them were female lead artists. 2 others had female band members. Is Alt music the crisis or is it Alt program directors ???????”
Of the last 89 songs 104.5 has played on their station, 3 of them were female lead artists. 2 others had female band members. Is Alt music the crisis or is it Alt program directors ??????? https://t.co/SXQ0mzl10m
Another Twitter user responded to Halsey, “imagine not thinking some of your music leans alt… people really need to open their minds to the amazing range of music artists are putting out these days.” Halsey replied, “not even talking about my music! My music is largely considered pop rn. But it wasn’t in the beginning + that fight with ALT stations wasn’t fun. I’m bummed alt radio won’t embrace incredible new alt female artists bc they secretly hate teenage girls listening to their platform.”
not even talking about my music! My music is largely considered pop rn. But it wasn’t in the beginning + that fight with ALT stations wasn’t fun. I’m bummed alt radio won’t embrace incredible new alt female artists bc they secretly hate teenage girls listening to their platform https://t.co/VG72jcDsaJ
Johnny clarified his stance by retweeting somebody who wrote, “You’re reading this as a commentary on Taylor, when it’s not. It’s a commentary on ALT’s inability to develop their own artists.” He responded to that, “Nailed it. Folkore is a great album, but NOT Alternative despite working with some very credible & Alt artists.”
You’re reading this as a commentary on Taylor, when it’s not. It’s a commentary on ALT’s inability to develop their own artists.
Meanwhile, Halsey celebrated her 26th birthday a few days ago, and she marked the occasion by releasing a new deluxe edition of Manic, which includes — ahem — alternative versions of some of the album’s tracks.
Major League Baseball’s playoffs are going on right now, and perhaps the fine folks at Jeopardy! turned to inspiration for a category on a recent episode. The issue, as we have seen on plenty of occasions on the legendary answer-and-question show, is that sports categories can sometimes go horribly wrong, and that ended up being the case here.
The first question was a layup. If it was reversed and they had to say “Who was Jorge Posada?” my assumption is they would have gotten it wrong, but it is fair to assume that if you need to name a Yankee thing that happened in 1923, it will prominently involve Babe Ruth. So, at the very least, we can chalk up the first one being a matter of logic, although Mason seemed like he had an easy time with this.
And then, things went horribly awry. There aren’t a ton of 6’7 baseball players, and “All Rise” is one heck of a hint, but the $400 response of “Who is Aaron Judge?” fell flat. Then again, with baseball’s ratings issue, maybe this is understandable.
The $600 answer wasn’t about baseball, but Frank Gifford played for one (1) NFL team, and even if you didn’t know that, you have a 50/50 shot at just naming one of the NFL’s two New York teams! For $800, they would have been safe to just literally name the first ’60s-era Yankee that popped into their heads, which would have meant saying “Who is Mickey Mantle?” because it is almost always Mickey Mantle when you need to name a ’60s Yankee.
The board ended up going to Mason for the last answer of the round. Everyone knew it was the Daily Double by that point, and Mason did not appear all that stoked to get it. He begrudgingly wagered $1,000, then Alex Trebek read the following.
“A museum at the stadium has statues of World Series hero Don Larsen & 60’ 6” away, this great Yankee.”
IT’S YOGI BERRA SAY YOGI BERRA OH MY GOD SAY YOGI BERRA.
While YG has recently released a plethora of videos to expand his sound and subject matter, it was only a matter of time before he returned to the topic he knows best. His latest video from new album My Life 4Hunnid does just that, employing veteran guest star Lil Wayne and newcomer D3szn to show off YG’s “Blood Walk.”
Where previous YG singles “Out On Bail,” “Equinox,” and “FTP” all sought to at least embrace a tiny bit of narrative relating to the songs’ themes, this time around, YG goes all-in on the gangster home movie format, “bickin’ back” on the block with his homies all sporting their favorite color and mean-mugging the camera. Lil Wayne’s verse does transplant the three rappers to a local skate park, but otherwise, it’s an LA street culture affair as YG once again celebrates his affiliation.
YG’s new album My Life 4Hunnid is apparently his last on Def Jam and features appearances from Calboy, Gunna, Lil Mosey, Lil Tjay, Ty Dolla Sign, and Tyga. Previously released singles include “Traumatized” and “Laugh Now Kry Later!”
Watch YG’s “Blood Walk” video with Lil Wayne and D3szn above.
My Life 4Hunnid is out now via Def Jam Recordings. Get it here.
To say that we’re in a golden age of bourbon whiskey would be an understatement. There’s so much of the juice on shelves these days (with new releases dropping all the time) that it’s hard to know where to begin. That also means there’s a lot of good stuff out there — plus a little bit of great stuff and some legitimately bad stuff, too.
To help you figure out which bottles to buy, we thought we’d break down some of our favorite sips of bourbon by price point, working in $10 increments. That way, you can get into the game at whatever level your budget allows.
Before we dive in, the ten bottles of bourbon below are not the be-all-and-end-all of their price ranges. There are plenty of bottles we like at each price point. But we love these and we want to give them their flowers. We also tried to make these picks as accessible as possible. With varying state tax laws and availability in general, some of these bottles may not be priced at these rates or readily available where you are. Still, most of these expressions should be available via delivery and somewhere within the “average price” range listed below.
ABV: 45% Distillery: Buffalo Trace Distillery, Frankfort, KY (Sazerac) Average Price:$9.99
The Whiskey:
Ancient Age is molded from Buffalo Trace’s mash bill #2. That’s the same juice as Blanton’s (more on that later). This bottom-shelf juice is a simple and straightforward whiskey.
Tasting Notes:
There’s a real sense of the corn on the nose with a more classic vibe of vanilla, caramel, and sweet toffee drawing you in. The sip remains sweet with a buttery edge as a light dusting of cinnamon kicks in beside a honeyed note. The slightly curt finish arrives with a cut of citrus against the sweeter body of the whiskey.
Bottom Line:
There are no bells or whistles. The point is to shoot this one with a beer chaser. It also works pretty well in a hot toddy with a lot of lemon, ginger, and honey.
$20 — Old Grand-Dad 114
Whisky Exchange
ABV: 57% Distillery: Jim Beam, Clermont, KY (Beam Suntory) Average Price:$19.99
The Whiskey:
Jim Beam’s Old Grand-Dad is a high-rye bourbon that also is the base for Beam’s Basil Hayden’s. Barrel aging is what separates the two expressions. And while Hayden’s makes a hell of a dram, Old Grand-Dad 114 gets the job done without breaking the bank.
Tasting Notes:
Candied fruits blend with mild spice, vanilla, and a dose of caramel. The Christmas spiced cake feel carries through to the palate as a touch of oak meets a hint of a musty library. The caramel corn sweetness marries to the oak as the sip fades, warms, and ends on a note of dry grass — especially with a touch of water in the dram.
Bottom Line:
This is a great mixing bourbon. The high ABVs lets the bourbon hold its own in old fashioneds, Manhattans, and even highballs.
$30 — Buffalo Trace Bourbon
Buffalo Trace
ABV: 45% Distillery: Buffalo Trace Distillery, Frankfort, KY (Sazerac) Average Price:$30
The Whiskey:
Buffalo Trace’s signature expression comes from their mash bill #1, which also gave rise to icons like Eagle Rare and George T. Stagg, among several others. The low-rye juice is made to be an easy-drinking whiskey and they hit it out of the park at a great price point.
Tasting Notes:
Vanilla next to a dark molasses greets you on the nose with a very distant hint of mint. The sip leans into a buttery toffee that’s jacked with Christmas spices, more vanilla, and a nice feeling of oak depth. When you add a little water, a dark berry essence pops near the end as the vanilla, spice, and oak fade away.
Bottom Line:
This is the perfect utility bottle to have on the shelf. It’s a solid mixer, works as a highball or on the rocks, and can do solid duty as a sipper with a little water in a pinch.
$40 — Wild Turkey Longbranch
Wild Turkey
ABV: 43% Distillery: Wild Turkey Distillery, Lawrenceburg, KY (Campari) Average Price:$39.99
The Whiskey:
We’re fans of this one around these parts. The combination of Matthew McConaughey and Wild Turkey is a good fit. The Kentucky bourbon comes with a deep Texas foundation thanks to Texas mesquite charcoal filtration. The results are another solid entry in the Wild Turkey range.
Tasting Notes:
Classic Turkey bourbon notes of caramel and vanilla mingle with a whiff of powdery cinnamon. The dram then moves into a myriad of tones from the cinnamon to more vanilla to charred and slightly smoky wood to a creamy toffee spiked with orange peels. The sip fades slowly back through the cream, spice, and vanilla and then ends on a final wisp of that Texas hardwood smoke.
Bottom Line:
This has been a solid addition to my shelf for a couple of years now. It’s another workhorse and adds a nice depth to cocktails while also being 100 percent sippable with a little water to really open up that smoky and woody nature.
$50 — Michter’s US*1 Small Batch Kentucky Straight Bourbon
Michter
ABV: 45.7% Distillery: Michter’s Distillery, Louisville, KY Average Price:$48
The Whiskey:
This is a solid bourbon all-around. The juice is small-batched from no more than 20 barrels per bottling. The blend of bourbons is meant to be an entry-point to the wider world of Michter’s expressions.
Tasting Notes:
Classic notes of bourbon vanilla, caramel corn, and oak greet you up top. The sip cashes in on the promise of the nose and then veers into ripe, sweet stonefruits with a mild spiciness next to velvety vanilla. As you add a drop of water, the end slowly lingers on the oak, fruit, and vanilla plus a whisper of smoke that arrives at the very last second.
Bottom Line:
This is an incredibly solid mixer to have. It makes a hell of a Manhattan, smash, or highball. It’ll also work fine as a sipper with a rock or two.
$60 — Four Roses Small Batch Select Bourbon
Four Roses
ABV: 52% Distillery: Four Roses Distillery, Lawrenceburg, KY (Kirin Brewing) Average Price:$59.99
The Whiskey:
Outside of their single barrel editions, Four Roses is all about their ten mash bills and how well they can blend them together for a cracking whiskey experience. In this dram’s case, it’s a blend of six of their mash bills (both high-rye and low-rye) with a yeast matrix of delicate fruit, slight spice, and herbal notes. The juice is then aged for up to seven years before going in the bottle at a high-ish proof.
Tasting Notes:
Christmas spices are cut by a bright berry note on the nose. The fruit becomes more peachy as the vanilla kicks in with a nice reminder of the oak. The end is a slow one, with a balance of the sweet fruit, svelte vanilla, and holiday spice.
Bottom Line:
This is my go-to egg nog base (it works in any cocktail for that matter). It’s also refined enough to work as a sipper after a big meal. It’s a holiday bourbon, is what we’re saying.
$70 — Elijah Craig Barrel Proof
Heaven Hill
ABV: 67.1% Distillery: Heaven Hill Bernheim Distillery, Bardstown, KY Average Price:$70
The Whiskey:
This expression is a sort of replacement for the much-beloved and discontinued Elijah Craig 12. The juice is 12-year-old Craig but it’s bottled uncut and unfiltered, making it the ultimate example of the 12-year expression from the Heaven Hill shingle.
Tasting Notes:
This is shockingly welcoming for such a high proof spirit. The nose beckons you in with notes of green apples dripping in caramel next to a deep oakiness with a hint of orange oils. The vanilla kicks in on the palate and leads toward notes of peppery spice, more caramel sweetness, and creamy toffee. The end takes its time as it walks back through the flavors, warms your senses, and draws you back for more.
Bottom Line:
This might be the best sipper on earth at this price. The taste is on par with any $100 bourbon out there. Don’t forget a few drops of water or a rock to really let this one loose.
$80 — Maker’s Mark Private Select
Maker
ABV: Varies Distillery: Maker’s Mark Distillery, Loretto, KY (Beam Suntory) Average Price:$79.99
The Whiskey:
This is one of the most unique whiskeys on this list. The expression starts off as a Maker’s 46 Cask Strength. Then the juice is finished for nine weeks with a combination of five different barrel staves to add a whole new dimension to the sip. High-end liquor store owners and bartenders are brought in to create a stave-selection, so these expressions will vary between releases, sometimes dramatically, thanks to the 1,001 combinations of staves possible.
Tasting Notes:
This will vary depending on the bottle you find in your region. The one I tried last year was interesting with an almost cedar bark and cream soda opening. The vanilla dominated with a sense of caramel corn and apples leading back to the woodiness.
Bottom Line:
These tend to be made to be sipped. If you do get your hands on one, you’ll have a unique bourbon experience ahead.
$90 — Blanton’s Single Barrel Bourbon
Buffalo Trace
ABV: 46.5% Distillery: Buffalo Trace Distillery, Frankfort, KY (Sazerac) Average Price:$89.99
The Whiskey:
Blanton’s has the distinction of being the first “single barrel” bourbon sold to the public. The Buffalo Trace icon is hewn from its mash bill # 2 (like Ancient Age above). The idea for the release was due to Colonel Blanton’s penchant for sourcing and stashing personal barrels from warehouse H because that was the best stuff according to the old master. Over time, that’s what became Blanton’s.
Tasting Notes:
Christmas spices greet you with a note of eggy-creaminess. The sip embraces its vanilla nature as the creaminess leans into corn territory with a dose of fresh honey lurking in the background. The dram continues down the Christmas spice road with a warming embrace as it lingers on your senses.
Bottom Line:
Pour a big ol’ snifter of this stuff after you’ve finished your second slice of pie and let it help you fade into a slumber.
This is another unique juice. The whiskey is a six to seven-year-old bourbon that is then sent out to sea under the decks of the OCEARCH ship, which travels around the world, touching five continents and crossing the equator four times over six months of additional finishing aging.
Tasting Notes:
Sea-aging aside, this bourbon is an all-around solid sip. The nose greets you with a note of cherry next to vanilla and mild spice with an oaky depth. The cherry carries on and marries into a mix of salted caramel, sharp spices, oak, and more of that bourbon vanilla. The dram fades away at an even pace as the fruit, spice, caramel, and oak make final appearances.
Bottom Line:
This is an interesting bottle with an interesting story, making it a conversation starter. It’s also a really solid sipper with a little water. A portion of the proceeds from these bottles goes to OCEARCH, which tracks sharks and educates people about them worldwide.
Chris Rock and Megan Thee Stallion dropped a new promo for the upcoming season premiere of Saturday Night Live. While the comedian and musician are both masked up for the 30 second spot, Rock assures viewers the show is going to be great and jokes that they aren’t scared about anything as Megan disappears and reappears in a HAZMAT helmet. Rock is, of course, referring to the decision to air SNL in the studio for the first time since the pandemic.
While the Rock and Megan Thee Stallion promo was clearly coordinated to arrive on the heels of SNL revealing Jim Carrey’s Joe Biden and Maya Rudolph’s Kamala Harris, the timing couldn’t be more awkward. Just hours after the Rock promo was released, President Donald Trump confirmed that he tested positive for COVID-19 along with First Lady Melania Trump. While the president’s diagnosis will have much more serious implications for the upcoming presidential election, it also throws a significant wrench into Lorne Michaels’ plans for bringing SNL back into the studio.
While speaking to the New York Times in September, Michaels revealed that his main reasoning for bring the show back into the studio was the presidential debates. “It’s an election year. It’s what we do,” Michaels said. “There are four [presidential and vice-presidential] debates in the month of October, and I was trying to figure out how to take a week off, but it didn’t work out.” With Trump now quarantined and Vice President Mike Pence being isolated to preserve the line of presidential succession, the chances of those debates still happening just significantly dropped if not vanished altogether.
However, as far as safety is concerned, SNL has been making it clear all week that it’s not messing around. The show’s Instagram account recently shared an image of the first read-through, and everyone from Rock to the cast and writers were masked up and very far apart.
There are many things that remain uncertain in this ever-tenuous existence, but one concrete thing that we can lean on is that Christopher Walken does not need more cowbell. The actor and frequent Saturday Night Live host is known for many things, but for some his role as a guy demanding “more cowbell” in an SNL sketch.
Walken has said in the past that he’s extremely done with fan reaction to the sketch, in which he plays someone constantly demanding the band Blue Oyster Cult add more cowbell to their hit “Don’t Fear The Reaper.” Will Ferrell plays the proverbial cowbell player, and Walken’s demands and Ferrell’s space work made the sketch a classic.
But according to someone very close to the actor, it’s had a negative impact on his public life, to the point where he apparently has avoided travel because he’s afraid of interacting with fans who only want to shout “MORE COWBELL” at him rather than let a king live.
In an interview with the Toronto Sun, director Tim Hill commented on the reaction Walken has seen from fans who really, really love that sketch. Hill, who directed Walken in The Deer Hunter, says overzealous fans have basically ruined air travel for Walken:
“I think that’s sort of why Chris is reluctant to travel to make movies, because he’s always stopped in the airport: ‘Oh, there’s Chris Walken. More cowbell!’,” the filmmaker tells WENN, referencing a funny 2000 Saturday Night Live skit starring the actor. “He said he just couldn’t do that any more. People just want to do (an impression of) him or ask him to repeat those lines.
It’s wild to think the reason we may have seen fewer movies from Walken in recent years is because an SNL sketch made him too visible a heckling target in airports. There is enthusiasm for a funny sketch and someone’s work, and then there is menacing someone in the TSA line because he can carry a scene. As it turns out, Walken is a pretty easy-going guy and doesn’t want to be known as someone from a single sketch:
“He’s pretty easy going and I wouldn’t say he resents it, but he doesn’t want to just be the guy who says those lines that people know him for. In this film, he just wanted to be who he is.”
The pandemic has certainly limited both travel and making movies for basically everyone, so perhaps this isn’t a big concern right now. But when a somewhat normal life emerges once again and you happen to see Walken in an airport, please leave him alone. Or maybe ask about Fatboy Slim instead.
A case of mistaken identity leads to a devastating loss in Burna Boy’s heartbreaking “Real Life” video featuring Stormzy. The upbeat track from Burna’s new album Twice As Tall belies the video’s wrenching storyline as Burna takes the verses, Stormzy sings the chorus, and a new spoken-word interlude implores empathy for the embattled youth of hardscrabble neighborhoods like the one depicted.
“This video represents the struggle of disadvantaged Black youth in the UK,” reads the video’s description. “The blurred lines between the road life and real life. The fragility between life and death; and how knife crime/murder often reported like a mere statistic in the media, has longstanding effects on a community.” This impact is visually represented by young men hanging out on the block who get into an altercation that spirals into a revenge plot that takes the wrong target.
The poem toward the end of the video condemns the apathy of the viewer: “You think we pick and choose who gets to win and lose?” the speaker questions. “You think we don’t sometimes wanna walk in different shoes? You think we don’t want more for these gifted youths?”
Watch Burna Boy’s “Real Life” video featuring Stormzy above.
Twice As Tall is out now on Atlantic Records. Get it here.
Some of the artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.
We are now in the thick of another NBA Finals, and like clockwork, Andre Iguodala is out there with the potential to make a huge difference for his team. Iguodala is currently appearing in his sixth straight championship series, with the previous five coming as a member of the Golden State Warriors.
Now, he finds himself on a Heat team looking for answers after a disastrous Game 1 loss that included several injuries to Miami’s key players. Iguodala proved in the Eastern Conference Finals that he still has something left in the tank, coming up huge in the closeout Game 6 against Boston when he knocked down all four of his threes en route to 15 points.
He’ll try to help the Heat find their footing again in Game 2 on Friday night against the Lakers, but before then, Iguodala opened up to Ramona Shelburne of ESPN with a comprehensive explanation about why chose the phrase “Group Economics” as the social justice phrase for his uniform, when there were so many other less cryptic choices to select from.
“How do you bring more value to the Black community?” Iguodala explained. “How do we get more value out of ourselves? How do we build up our communities? How do we build up our communities so we don’t rely on government?
“People understand how powerful voting is, how powerful government officials, their jobs are, and they start running — and then how important it is not just voting for the president, but local officials. Now you have better funding for schools because your land’s worth more. You know, you have more home ownership because the land’s higher. You have more commercial development because the land’s worth a lot. And then when you buy from your own, you’re essentially recycling money back into your own community.
“If we start building our own businesses and buying from ourselves, then that’s how we build our communities, and then that’s how you get school systems that are great, and that’s when you start having better relationships with law enforcement.”
It’s a lot to take in, but it certainly speaks to the forethought about the messaging Iguodala wanted to display to the world during his on-court time. It also aligns with the outcome of the recent work stoppage, when the players put pressure on the league and owners to ultimately come up with a multi-pronged social justice initiative that would help use their money and leverage to make a difference in many of these sectors of American life.
Not all players where happy with the approved phrases for jerseys, with several, including LeBron James, opting to forego them without being able to choose their own messaging. Still, Iguodala’s choice speaks to a much deeper understanding of how these issues affect the Black community.
The Rundown is a weekly column that highlights some of the biggest, weirdest, and most notable events of the week in entertainment. The number of items could vary, as could the subject matter. It will not always make a ton of sense. Some items might not even be about entertainment, to be honest, or from this week. The important thing is that it’s Friday, and we are here to have some fun.
ITEM NUMBER ONE — CHILL ME OUT, PLEASE
I love action. I love action movies and action-packed television shows. I love the Fast & Furious movies and their brand of increasingly nutty action that stretches the limits of both physics (cars flying through the sky!) and forgiveness (Jason Statham’s character killed Han — allegedly — but is now a beloved member of the team?). I love completely crazy shows like Zoo and nonsense movies like Money Plane. The world has yet to create a project that is too big/dumb/weird/chaotic for me. There is nothing I want more than a low-budget straight-to-VOD sequel to Face/Off that still stars Travolta and Cage. This is, in a somewhat simplified summary, what I am about.
Which is why this next part might seem odd at first: I am so freaking stoked to watch A World of Calm, the new celebrity-narrated meditation show that just premiered on HBO Max earlier this week. I’ve discussed it all once or twice before, but if you are not yet aware, please enjoy this trailer…
… and please read this longline for the show
A timely antidote for our modern lives, each half-hour episode takes audiences on an immersive visual journey into another world. Building on Calm’s Sleep Stories – bedtime stories for grown-ups – each relaxing tale is designed to transform how you feel. Viewers will be transported into tranquility through scientifically engineered narratives, enchanting music and astounding footage to naturally calm the body and soothe the mind.
Oh, yes. Yes, I will watch this. I will watch this every night at bedtime. I’m sad there are only 10 episodes, even if they do include such perfect ideas as “Oscar Isaac talks to you about noodles” and “Kate Winslet talks to you about horses” and “Idris Elba talks to you about outer space” and, blessedly, “Keanu Reeves talks to you about Latvian woodworkers.” I kind of want to binge them all in a furious five-hour spree and see if I can bring my resting heart rate down into the mid-40s, even if binging a show designed to help you chill out seems a little backward.
I just… I don’t know. I need it. It’s not exactly breaking news to say that a lot is happening in the world, in a way that is wholly different from previous ways a lot has happened. Couple that with everyone being stuck inside for months on end and it’s teetering on the edge of a mental health crisis. Humans aren’t meant to live like this. We’re not built for it. It’s okay if you’re feeling a little or a lot fried, even if you don’t realize it all the time. The key is to find something, anything, to help you relax a bit and turn the volume down in your head a bit, even if it’s just a 20-30 minute chunk of time. I flipped on the first episode of A World of Calm last night, a Lucy Liu narrated examination of coral reefs, and this was the first thing I saw on my screen.
HBO
Hell yes, lapping waves. The show appears to be a cross between “lowest stakes season of Planet Earth imaginable” and “if a celebrity narrated your screensaver” and I am fully on-board. Make 20 seasons of this. Give me Matthew McConaughey narrating an episode about waterfalls. Give me Scarlett Johannson narrating an episode about clouds. Give me Rihanna narrating an episode about Canadian marijuana farmers. I want hundreds of hours of familiar voices soothing me at night with relaxing bedtime stories set to beautiful images of nature filmed in sparkling high-definition. It says a lot about the world as presently constructed and my current frame of mind that I have been looking forward to this show almost as much as I was looking forward to the long-delayed and much-hyper fourth season of Fargo. And yet, here we are.
So, yes, for the foreseeable future, please do not text or email or call me after, say, 11 p.m., as I will be floating off to a happy place where people with symmetrical faces and voices like crushed velvet whisper lovely bedtime stories to me. I am legitimately all jazzed up about this. That somehow feels weird to say and feels perfectly normal at the exact same time. And that somehow makes sense. Again, everything is a little off-center right now. This show won’t actually solve any of that, nor should it be expected to. But it’ll give you pretty pictures of horsies and sentences intended to lower your blood pressure and, to be honest, that’s all I’m really asking for right now.
I’ll still see Fast & Furious 9 the day it is released, of course. I must know what happened to Han. Although I don’t think it would hurt if the whole thing is explained by Vin Diesel over ambient sounds and stunning drone shots of the Tokyo streets where the accident happened. Something to consider. I assume there’s time for some quick reshoots.
ITEM NUMBER TWO — Yes, thank you, I would like to know about Jason Momoa’s breakfast
Getty Image
Jason Momoa is in Detroit. Or he was in Detroit recently. I know this for two reasons: One, because of this news story from a local Detroit outlet about him eating a fancy brunch in a fancy neighborhood; two, because there are not a lot of dudes running around who look like Jason Momoa, so the odds of mistaken identity here are pretty low. Like, I don’t think a lot of people are like “YO HOLY CRAP IS THAT JASON M-… wait, no. It’s just Jeff.” If you think you saw Jason Momoa, you probably did see Jason Momoa. So let’s go ahead and call this Detroit thing confirmed.
Anyway, my favorite part of the Jason Momoa Detroit Brunch story was this paragraph about halfway down the page:
“The posting from Toast said Momoa ordered the Novia Scotia Benny which has poached eggs, smoked salmon, spinach, heirloom tomato, choice of biscuit or english muffin, dill hollandaise and balsamic drizzle. It’s also served with home fries, bacon fried rice or grits.”
I’ll tell you what I like about this: the almost specificity. They know what he ordered, generally: the Nova Scotia Benny, which sounds delicious. But they didn’t get the exact details on his carb or choice or side order. A problem! A hole in the story! So they did what any good journalist would do when confronted with an unanswered question: they investigated. By, apparently, pulling up the menu online and listing the entire entry. I like it. I kind of love it, to be honest, because it’s created a fun game for me. You can play it, too. Just read the paragraph again and try to guess — based on everything you know about Jason Momoa — how he filled out this order. I’ve been at it for over a day and I’ve settled on “served on a biscuit with a side of home fries.” I do not see Jason Momoa as a grits man. Do not ask me why.
Hey, speaking of physical marvels who are currently or have been married to Lisa Bonet, here’s a profile of Lenny Kravitz that dropped in Men’s Health this week. The profile was written by Alex Pappademas, so you know it’s probably good. And it is! Here are some things I learned about Lenny Kravitz:
Lenny Kravitz is somehow 56 years old
Lenny Kravitz has been living alone in his one-bedroom house in the Bahamas since the pandemic started
Lenny Kravitz brought one pair of jeans with him and has been wearing them every day
In short, Lenny Kravitz is exactly who you think he is: a very chill dude who is impossibly cool and who uses a tree branch as his bench when he lifts weights, which he does often enough to have a lean eight-pack even though he is over half a decade older than Paul Giamatti. It turns out genetics helps with that last thing, too.
His roots in this part of the world go deep. His grandfather Albert Roker was born on Inagua, down by Cuba and Haiti at the southernmost point of the Bahama island chain. “He lived up until his 90s, but even up into his 80s, he was ripped,” Kravitz says, shedding light on his enviable genetic legacy. “Black island man. Like iron. He had a workout that he would do in the backyard that consisted of a tree and a leather belt and, like, a broom handle. All resistance.”
It must be nice to trace your lineage to a naturally ripped island man made of ir-… hold on. Did that say Albert Roker?
Was Lenny Kravitz’s grandfather named Al Roker?
Do you think… no.
Do you think Lenny Kravitz and Al Roker are related?
To Wikipedia.
WIKIPEDIA
Between this and Jason Momoa’s choice of breakfast side, I have really given myself a lot to think about this weekend. And I have an excuse to post one of my favorite tweets ever.
@TeflonTom Try it, punk. I will drop you like a bag of dirt
This clip blew up on my Twitter timeline early in the week. You might have seen it. If you have, watch it again because it gets no less fascinating with multiple views. If you haven’t seen, hoo boy, are you in for a treat. I could give you 5,000 guesses and you’ll never be able to correctly pick who shows us as Michael Jordan’s opponent at this charity event. I could give you 5,000 guesses a day. For a year. Still no chance.
Point being, spoilers, it’s M.A.S.H. star Elliott Gould, age 50 at the time, taking on a young Michael Jordan in a charity basketball contest. Here’s the full clip from YouTube, which somehow only contains Jordan’s shots even though all I want to know right now — literally the only thing — is how good Elliott Gould is, or was, at basketball.
Luckily, a little digging got me closer to an answer, and no, it is not important to know what I was supposed to be doing when I was furiously hunting clips of Elliott Gould discussing the time he played Michael Jordan at basketball for charity. Here’s a clip of the actor on a recent episode of The Rich Eisen show claiming 1) that he took a letter or two off of Michael in HORSE by shooting old-man YMCA two-handed set shots, which rules; and 2) that he, Elliott Gould, beat a young Michael Jordan in a game of Around the World.
Someone load up these clips on an iPad and hand them to Michael Jordan, Last Dance-style. I demand to see his face as he watches them. And I demand to hear his reply after watching Elliott Gould claim to have defeated him at Around the World. There’s a non-zero chance he challenges Elliott Gould to a nationally-televised Around the World rematch. Like, today. Like he might send his private plane to pick up Elliott as soon as he sees it. Michael Jordan is a maniac.
I would watch. You would, too. Please do not lie to me.
ITEM NUMBER FOUR — Screw it, mash it all together, see what I care
SONY
Because nothing can just be one thing and be cool about it anymore, the Spider-man universe went and got a little weirder this week. It was already weird, with the Sony/Marvel rights fight resulting in Spider-man being detached from and later folded into the Marvel Cinematic Universe once Tom Holland took over the role from Andrew Garfield. And it was a little weirder when the new Marvel movies snuck JK Simmons back in there in the J. Jonah Jameson role he started playing back when Tobey Maguire was Spider-man. And then Michael Keaton popped up as the Vulture in Morbius.
And now there’s this.
Jamie Foxx, who played classic Spidey villain Electro in the Andrew Garfield-starring The Amazing Spider-Man 2, is in final talks to reprise the role for the latest Spider-Man installment, starring Tom Holland and being made by Marvel Studios and Sony Pictures.
“Final talks” is sometimes code for “let’s just float this out there before we all sign the deal to be sure we’re not missing something that will get us all yelled at,” so let’s assume this is a real thing. And let’s assume this is real, too.
Marvel had no comment.
Story details are being kept under the mask, but having Foxx return is a stunner as it shows a further melding of the previous Spider-Man movies into the current Holland series, which is the first one that has Marvel running point on production.
More than a few people became very excited when this news broke, in large part because it continues cracking open the door for a live-action Spider-verse movie that brings back both Maguire and Garfield and loops them into the current Spider-man universe. Which… fine? Cool? Please do not let me dampen your enthusiasm if you are excited about that. We all need something to get us through what is shaping up to be a long winter. God bless, etc.
I do not think I would like it, though. The thing that made Into the Spider-verse so cool was how inventive and original it was. Taking that and trying to recapture it with a handful of winking cameos and nostalgia traps would probably bum me out. It’s okay to let cool things just be cool things and not tinker with them forever. But I’m also the guy who almost started hyperventilating on the way into the theater to watch John Wick 3 a while back, so take that with a few grains of salt, I guess. Either way, it’s given me yet another opportunity to share one of my favorite tweets ever.
every generation deserves at least 5 movies named “Spider Man 2”
What I like about this tweet is that it’s somehow both a very smart cultural critique of the world as it presently exists and it’s also just stupid as hell. A real double whammy.
ITEM NUMBER FIVE — I know I just made fun of Christmas movies starting to advertise in October last week but this is different
Netflix
Just last week, only seven days ago, in this very column, I got a little snarky about Christmas movies starting so early, especially the Hallmark ones, which start airing before Halloween this year. I stand by all or most of that. But I also stand by this: Netflix started advertising Dolly Parton’s new Christmas movie this week, and I love it. Granted, it doesn’t actually drop until close to Thanksgiving so it’s not quite as egregious, but still. They could release it today and I’d be okay with it. Look at this.
The It’s a Wonderful Life-esque Christmas on the Square stars Christine Baranski (The Good Fight) as Regina, a rich and nasty woman who returns to her small hometown after her father’s death to evict everyone and sell the land to a mall developer — right before Christmas. However, after listening to stories of the local townsfolk, reconnecting with an old love, and accepting the guidance of an actual angel (Parton), Regina starts to have a change of heart.
Three things worth noting here:
Christine Baranski entering the “playing a Scrooge-like character in a Christmas movie” stage of her career is thrilling to me, because Christine Baranski was born for that, which I mean very much as a compliment
Dolly Parton, per other reports, is playing an angel named “Angel”
Dolly Parton has been posting Christmas-themed images almost exclusively on her Instagram page since mid-August
Here, proof.
And so, I guess, allow me to officially wish all of you a Merry Christmas and/or Happy Holidays. If Dolly Parton says it’s time, even if it just became October, that’s good enough for me.
READER MAIL
If you have questions about television, movies, food, local news, weather, or whatever you want, shoot them to me on Twitter or at [email protected] (put “RUNDOWN” in the subject line). I am the first writer to ever answer reader mail in a column. Do not look up this last part.
From Mark:
Here are a couple of tough questions, but I know you’ve been thinking about them for a while…
1. When the inevitable day comes that you have to leave town and relocate to another city and become a Regular Human Bartender, what are the top three Regular Human Bartender names that you would consider using?
2. When you inevitably find yourself embroiled in a wacky crime caper in the upper midwest, what are the top 3 Fargo names that you are likely to take on?
I realize that I could’ve gone to any other TV writers with these questions, but it has to be you.
Mark, this is a fantastic question. I appreciate that you realize there’s a difference between the two categories. There’s an art to a fake name. The first category, your Jackie Daytona names like in What We Do in the Shadows, is a little punchier. Harder consonants, locations as a last name, etc. The second category, the Fargo names, tend can be a little more goofy and mushmouthed, like a Lorne Malvo from the first season or a Banjo Rightway from the season that just premiered on Sunday. As someone who thinks about fake names a lot (too much), I am honored to give this a crack. I’ve used some of these before, full disclosure. But I refuse to let that get in my way.
JACKIE DAYTONA DIVISION
1. Tex Montreal
2. Clyde Tokyo
3. Victor Montecarlo
FARGO DIVISION
1. Mitch Casino
2. Percy Billions
3. Bash Catnip
Thank you for giving me the opportunity to do this. Please know that I spent longer working on this than any other section of this week’s column.
A British zoo has had to separate five foul-mouthed parrots who keepers say were encouraging each other to swear.
You know how sometimes you read a sentence and it just keeps getting better as it moves toward its end? This is one of those sentences. I was intrigued by “has had to” because it implies all other options have been exhausted, and I was completely won over by the phrase “five foul-mouthed parrots,” but the real chef’s kiss of it all was the “encouraging each other to swear.” I had not ever considered the possibility of parrots peer pressuring each other to misbehave. I don’t even think that’s what was really happening here. But the phrasing leads to the implication and that is good enough for me.
I love these rascal parrots.
“We are quite used to parrots swearing, but we’ve never had five at the same time,” said the zoo’s chief executive, Steve Nichols. “Most parrots clam up outside, but for some reason these five relish it.”
I want to adopt all five of them and drive around with them in the backseat with the windows down so they can cuss out other drivers for me. Can’t get mad at a parrot, chumps! I mean, you can, but then you look like the jerk. It’s a perfect plan. Until I get pulled over and they start cussing at the cops.
It’s an almost perfect plan.
“When a parrot tells tells you to ‘f-— off’ it amuses people very highly,” he said Tuesday. “It’s brought a big smile to a really hard year.”
THE PARROTS ARE LIFTING THE SPIRITS OF A NATION WITH THEIR BLUE-STREAKED LANGUAGE AND FEATHERS
WHY ARE YOU SEPARATING THEM?
GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON
Nichols said the parrots have been separated to save children’s ears. They were moved to different areas of the park so they don’t “set each other off,” he said.
That settles it. We need an adults-only zoo. This is another perfect plan. Do not steal it from me.
Taking advantage of BandCamp’s Bandcamp Fridays initiative, Denzel Curry released his latest single, the sinister-sounding “Live From The Abyss,” on the platform and will donate the proceeds to Dream Defenders. The new track continues in the vein of Curry’s other recent releases, addressing the unrest that has been roiling the nation for the past several months.
Produced by Curry’s frequent collaborators FnZ, the track espouses Black Nationalist themes, referencing Malcolm X, the Pan-African flag, and police violence, as well as explaining Denzel’s rationale for practicing martial arts as a self-defense method. “I’m screamin’, ‘Black is beautiful,’ views are probably anti-race,” he rhymes on the sole verse. “I can see the fear in your eyes when you look in my face.”
Meanwhile, the chorus of the song takes aim at one of the focal points of the movement for social justice, Donald Trump. “I tell Trump in the office to suck a dick, bitch, I’m pissed,” Curry rails. “Reportin’ live from the depths of the abyss.” His stance here echoes the theme of his June release, “Pig Feet” with Daylyt, G Perico, Kamasi Washington, and Terrace Martin, in which he denounced militarization of police.
Of course, Curry also participated in some lighter-hearted releases this year as well, including an appearance on IDK’s IDK & Friends 2 and a verse with Guapdad 4000 on “Lil Scammer That Could.”
Listen to “Live From The Abyss” below.
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