Month: October 2020

Welcome to Wednesday Night’s Alright, my Uproxx Sports column where we compare AEW Dynamite and WWE NXT, the two shows that air on the best night of the week for wrestling. This week both shows felt a little odd and stitched together, which might be pandemic related, but they both had some really fun stuff all the same, so let’s dig in.

Best Potential Faction Evolution: MJF Maybe Joining Chris Jericho’s Inner Circle

They’ve done this before, which makes me think that this time it might happen for real. Chris Jericho kind of wants MJF in the Inner Circle, but he’s too proud to say that. MJF kind wants to be in the Inner Circle, but he’s too proud to admit that either, so they just go back and forth on it. But this time, MJF does show up with presents for all the Inner Circle members except Sammy Guevara (nobody likes Sammy).

I think the Inner Circle would be a great place for MJF to hang out, at least until it’s time for him to take another main-event shot at the AEW World Championship. Watching his ego clash with Jericho’s is always fun, and you know Maxwell would try to become the faction’s leader as soon as he joins.

If MJF and possibly Wardlow join the Inner Circle, that could also cause further shakeups in the membership. Personally, I’m hoping Santana and Ortiz leave pretty soon. They’re such a great tag team, and it seems like being in this faction has mostly held them back. Even if they want to have a manager, it makes no sense that they’d rather be with Jericho than their old friend and fellow New York Puerto Rican Eddie Kingston. I do like that factions in AEW aren’t racially segregated, as WWE factions so often are. On the other hand, I keep thinking that it would make an awful lot of sense for the Inner Circle to trade Santana and Ortiz to the Kingston Family in return for the Butcher and the Blade.

Runners Up

Adam Cole and Kyle O’Reilly are definitely both good guys now, which raises questions about the future of the Undisputed Era. PWInsider says that Roddy Strong and Bobby Fish are going to stay heels, so it sounds like the UE’s days are numbered, at least in its current form. At the very least, this is the most Disputed the Era has ever been.

Matt Jackson kicked Tony Schiavone in the face this week, right in front of FTR and Tully Blanchard. Then Matt acted like his brother Nick was standing next to him, even though he clearly wasn’t. I don’t think they’re doing a “Nick Jackson is invisible” angle or anything like that. They just seem to be trying to ignore the fact that he’s clearly taking a little time off for whatever reason.

Nick’s absence aside, I’m still wondering where things are going for the Elite. We didn’t see Kenny Omega this week, although we did get a little of Hangman Adam Page being sad about Omega’s newfound devotion to singles wrestling. And then there’s Cody, who looks very much like a heel now but still talks like a babyface. Everything seems to be going somewhere, but only time will tell if it’s all going to the same place.

Most Exciting Promise for the Near Future: Dog Collar Match

After a long stroll around the rhetorical block, Cody Rhodes accepted Brodie Lee’s challenge to a Dog Collar Match. In fact, it’s happening next week. Commentary talked about how rare dog collar matches really are, and personally I think I’ve only ever watch two of them: Roddy Piper versus Greg Valentine in 1983, and Shotzi Blackheart versus Zoey “Dust” Skye in 2017.

Based on those two matches (and the basic premise of two people chained together by the neck, it’s exactly the kind of old school hardcore wrestling violence that Cody loves and Brodie is incredibly well-suited for. So yeah, let’s do that.

Runners Up

Miro is planning Kip Sabian’s bachelor party, which leads to him expounding at length about the Amish practice of Rumspringa, which I found really, really funny for some reason. Then Billy Mitchell, the bad guy from the 2007 documentary The King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters, randomly shows up and offers to help. I have no idea where this is going, but from what we know about Mitchell it might involve hot sauce? We’ll see!

NXT ran another nightvision promo for whoever is returning on Sunday. Word around the internet is that it might be Bo Dallas, who I can’t say excites me, but if he’s doing something really knew, it could certainly be interesting.

Best Promo: Cameron Grimes

I might be the only one who likes listening to Cameron Grimes talk, but in my defense I’m also a weird hillbilly from the Southeast. I don’t own a top hat, but there was certainly time in my late teens/early twenties when I was probably at risk for buying one.

I just feel like Grimes is having so much fun being an unhinged carny weirdo that it’s fun to watch, and his whole “Cameron Grimes Invitational Stepping Stone To The Moon” thing is great, with his plan to prove himself by fighting a bunch of tiny men. Of course, after he defeats the first tiny man, a much larger man shows up, Ridge Holland, and ends Cameron’s fun.

Runners Up

Isaiah Scott and Santos Escobar had a side-by-side sitdown on NXT, where they both came off like serious contenders. The Garganos got a couple of opportunities to whine and put people down ahead of their main event match, which they always excel at. There was also a segment with their opponents in that main event, Damian Priest and Io Shirai, in which Priest was extremely impressed by Io, and Io is somewhat indifferent to Priest. That’s exactly the dynamic that team should have.

Kyle O’Reilly and Finn Bálor also had a sitdown, moderated by Shawn Michaels, which had some nice little moments in it (Kyle’s impression of Cameron Grimes was particularly amusing), but mostly they’re two calm guys who don’t really light the mic on fire when they talk.

Eddie Kingston brought his old Chikara buddy Bryce Remsburg out to the ring, to ask ref Bryce why he ended the match in favor of Moxley last week, when Kingston never tapped. Bryce, who has years more experience as a talker than you’d guess just from watching Dynamite, pointed out that Eddie was fully unconscious at the time, and that even though they’re friends, when they’re at work it’s Bryce’s job to protect Eddie from himself. Eddie was going to have his guys attack Bryce, but Moxley came out and Remsburg ran off. I’m curious to see if Kingston’s revenge on Bryce is still to come, and whose match it might come during.

Best Mini-Match: Kayden Carter vs Xia Li

There were a bunch of little bite-sized matches this week, some of which were quite good for their length, so I decided to give them their own category.

Kayden Carter versus Xia Li was my favorite, because I’m really enjoying watching Kayden develop as a wrestler, and I love the fun she has with Kacy Catanzaro (who was at ringside for this match). This also furthered the build to Xia’s heel turn, which I’m looking forward to. Considering the build, I hope it leads to more than just “she’s mean now.” She should at least get some new gear for the occasion.

Runners Up

Ridge Holland squashed Cameron Grimes after the aforementioned promo, which was a good reminder that although Grimes can win matches, he can also lose them, especially when fighting a strapping lad the size of Ridge Holland.

Over on Dynamite, Orange Cassidy took on #10 of the Dark Order, which was fine, although it would have been a challenge to find a guy on the roster that it was more obvious Orange would beat.

Kushida versus Tony Nese had a similar vibe, although it ended with an attack by that guy that nobody likes any more, with whom Kushida is currently feuding whether we like it or not.

Finally, Britt Baker returned to action this week, and Red Velvet was there to lose to her for the occasion. Britt seems to have her mojo back after her injury and getting drugged by Big Swole with her own needle in her own dentist office. Maybe next week she can face a less obvious jobber.

Best Full-Length Match: Candice LeRae and Johnny Gargano vs. Damian Priest and Io Shirai

A WWE mixed tag match, even on NXT, is never going to be a clinic on technical precision. Instead, what it ought to be is a rollicking good time, which this absolutely was. The character contrast between Johnny and Candice, who are terrible people but love each other, as opposed to Damian and Io, who are decent people but barely know each other, gave the match an interesting dynamic. I also loved how ready Shirai was to pin Johnny, until the ref reminded her it doesn’t work that way in WWE. Then of course the Garganos won, because they’re both totally losing on Sunday (sorry, Garganos).

Runners Up

Dakota Kai and Shotzi Blackheart opened the show on NXT, with a match that mostly very good, although Shotzi took a bump on the apron that looked so nasty it was very distracting from the story being told.

Ricky Starks and Darby Allin kicked off Dynamite with a match that really showed what they can both do, and gave Allin a much-needed win against someone who matters.

FTR and SCU had what was probably the best match on Dynamite. I thought it would go to the 20-minute time limit, which meant an automatic win for FTR, but instead they won with the help of Tully Blanchard’s cheating somewhere around the 15-minute mark. I love a heel team who are great at wrestling but still cheat just because they can. And that’s exactly the sort of endeavor Tully Blanchard should be involved in.

Isiah Kassidy had a strong showing in a loss against Chris Jericho, which was mostly Jericho’s doing. Sometimes it seems like Chris Jericho has a wheel with all the young AEW guys on it, and he spins it to decide who he’s going to make look like star next. Kassidy has a ways to go, but you could really see his potential here.

The Butcher was Eddie Kingston’s choice to fight Jon Moxley, and they both did a fine job, but the storytelling seemed to veer right into every clichéd trope for this sort of “important guy versus bigger but less important guy” match. The Butcher dominates at first, and just when it seems like Moxley might be in real trouble he rallies, shows his considerably skill in taking back control of the match, hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle—I’m sorry, the Paradigm Shift—and wins just as the show comes to an end.

That’s all for this week. Join me next time, for that Dog Collar Match plus all the fallout from NXT TakeOver 31.

The Spider-Man may be different from the last time Jamie Foxx played him, but apparently Electro will be the same in the latest Spider-Man movie. According to The Hollywood Reporter, Foxx is in talks to reprise his role as the villain from 2014’s The Amazing Spider-Man 2.

It’s a weird twist to the already-confusing Spider-Man cannon, but the news would mean that Foxx brings back his role opposite a different Spidey, this time the extremely affable Tom Holland in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Jamie Foxx, who played classic Spidey villain Electro in the Andrew Garfield-starring The Amazing Spider-Man 2, is in final talks to reprise the role for the latest Spider-Man installment, starring Tom Holland and being made by Marvel Studios and Sony Pictures.

The whole Spider-Man universe from the last few decades is confusing, largely thanks to Sony and Marvel infighting. But Spider-Man’s staying in the MCU was good news for fans. And apparently Marvel isn’t afraid to meld some characters and actors from the Sony movies into the Spiderverse they now control.

Story details are being kept under the mask, but having Foxx return is a stunner as it shows a further melding of the previous Spider-Man movies into the current Holland series, which is the first one that has Marvel running point on production.

As THR pointed out, the 2014 film where Foxx played Electro ultimately led to Sony signing a deal with Marvel that put Spider-Man in the MCU. So it’s certainly interesting that a villain from that film could reappear with the same actor playing the role with a different Spider-Man. Weirder things have happened, and the multi-verse is vast here but it’s a neat wrinkle to the latest Spidey movie for sure.

Arike Ogunbowale is one of the WNBA’s fastest rising stars. In just her second season in the league, she averaged a league-high 22.8 points on 41% shooting, 3.5 assists and 2.8 rebounds per game. In doing so, she earned the 2020 WNBA Peak Performer Award for scoring after posting the highest scoring average by a second-year player in league history.

The former Notre Dame guard took over games with ease this season, and was one of the more dependable figures on a young Dallas Wings team that was hindered by injuries this season. In 2020, Ogunbowale had 37 straight games in double-figures scoring, good for the second-longest double-digit streak in franchise history. She also had four games in which she scored at least 30 points.

As she showed this year in Bradenton, Florida, Ogunbowale is a force to be reckoned with in the WNBA. And off the court, she’s making waves too, launching her own online clothing and merchandise shop and using her voice for good. We caught up with the Ogunbowale to chat about her own style, fashion’s role in the social justice movement and the bright future of the Dallas Wings.

When did you start getting into fashion and figuring out what you liked to wear?

I would say after freshman year of college. I was always big on fashion, even when I was younger, but I wasn’t as in tune with it as before and I didn’t have as many shoes — I had a good amount, but I didn’t have as many shoes as I wanted. As I got older, I started getting into it and I watched my brother a lot because he always had a lot of shoes. So as I got to college, and my freshman year, I think I started actually learning the type of style that I want and how I want to dress.

How would you describe your style?

I think it would just be streetwear type of fits. Casual streetwear, whether it’s jeans or joggers or cargo joggers — it doesn’t matter, it’s definitely street.

Where do you get your fashion inspiration?

Social media, I follow LeagueFits and all those pages that talk about fashion. But also, when I choose a fit, I always send it to my brother. He’s like my biggest fashion person — any outfit, I send it to him first before I wear it to see if he likes it. If he says it’s good, then it’s good. I trust his opinion on everything.

When you show up to the arena before a game in a cool outfit, do you care about getting featured on LeagueFits or some page like that on social media?

No, I’m going to dress well regardless of if I make it or not [onto LeagueFits]. It’s just how I — look good, feel good, play good. That’s how I feel. When I put on a nice outfit before a game or it doesn’t even have to be a super nice outfit, it could be cozy but in my style of how I like to dress, then I feel good. And it’s always nice to feel good before you get onto the court.

Let’s talk about sneakers now. Do you have a favorite pair of kicks to play in?

To play in, I like Giannis’ a lot. They’re super comfortable.

And what about off the court? Do you have a go-to pair of shoes that you like to wear?

Jordans are always good if I’m going out or going somewhere. I’m always able to find a color that can go with different shirts or something. But if not, I’ll just go with sandals, to be honest.

I saw that you posted a photo of yourself on Instagram back in June wearing a t-shirt that says, “Protect kids, not guns.” This season, especially, in the WNBA, a lot of players have worn shirts or warm-up gear that highlights injustices in the U.S. How do you think that fashion and the clothes we wear can help promote important messages of social justice?

For sure, a lot of people — especially in the NBA and WNBA, where we have tunnels and stuff — have been wearing shirts like that. Not everyone’s going to sit down and have a conversation with reporters to get the word out so obviously, we do what we can on our platforms and social media, but this is a way to show without words what we stand for in certain situations. Whatever you support, whatever you do, it can all be said without having to say words and by incorporating it into your everyday style.

Who do you think are the most fashionable players in the WNBA?

Honestly, Sue Bird. Everybody knows that. She’s always dressed really nice so I would say Sue, for sure.

Is there anyone on the Dallas Wings that could work on their style game?

Ooo, what you tryna do?!? [Laughs] In my opinion, everybody has style in their own way, whether I like it or not. If it’s their style, then it is what it is. I’m sure some people don’t like mine either.

The Dallas Wings fell just short of the playoffs this season, despite having one of the youngest and least experienced teams in the league. Knowing that you came so close this year with this squad, how do you feel when you look at the potential future of the franchise?

We have a lot of potential. Like you said, we have a lot of young players that were on the team that were in year one or year two but we were in just about every game. We competed with every team we played and never really lost by a lot, so for us to do that while we were still figuring stuff out, didn’t even really have training camp, and as the youngest team in the league. We have a long way to go, we built chemistry this year, but I’m really excited for the future of this team.

The first time I watched a presidential debate as a young adult, I was surprised by what a far cry it was from my middle school debate class—and not in a good way. I saw almost nothing of what I’d learned about constructing a valid argument, forming a refutation, cross-examination or any other debate skill on the presidential debate stage, and I was confused. Why did I have to learn those rules and guidelines if the people competing for the highest office in the nation didn’t even use them in a nationally televised debate?

That was my impression during the “normal” era of politics. This week’s presidential debate dropped the bar so low we might as well call it six feet under. I’m not sure if we hit rock bottom, but it feels like we’re darn close.

My two teens watched the presidential debate with me. Normally, I would have grabbed this opportunity to discuss with them the issues presented to the candidates, point out the ways politicians use language to make their policies sound good, and how they frame things to make their opponents’ policies look bad. I would have walked them through an analysis of the debate, probably lamenting the lack of formal debate practices—that’s nothing new—but still discussing the nuances of what made each candidate’s performance weaker or stronger. I wouldn’t have tried to steer their opinions of the candidates one way or the other, but allowed them to evaluate on their own.

This debate offered no such opportunities. It was a train wreck, and there’s no getting around the fact that it was a train wreck because the President of the United States made it one.

And it saddens me as much as it enrages me. I want my children to be able to respect the president. Even if they disagree with his policies, even if they think he’s in the wrong on various issues, I want them to be able to respect the leader of our country as a leader.

But they can’t. I can’t. And that sucks.

To watch the President of the United States engage in behavior that I wouldn’t tolerate in a 5-year-old is humiliating and impossible to explain to my children. My husband and I have worked to instill into them the values of common courtesy and basic decency. We’ve taught them to carefully consider different opinions and viewpoints and to evaluate them fairly and honestly, and always treat others with respect and compassion.

They’re teens and they’re smart—they saw the aggression and rudeness and complete lack of decorum with their own eyes and formed their own appalled responses. But what about younger kids? The ones who are just forming their ideas about leadership and true strength and acceptable behavior—the ones for whom this man is the only presidential example they’ve known?

Parents have shared how some of their children reacted to the debate, and it’s heartbreaking. How can we be proud of our country when the president makes children cry because he’s a big ol’ bully?

Those reactions are totally understandable. I’m 45 years old, and I flipped back and forth between wanting to cry and wanting to throw my TV set out the window. We are going through a huge ordeal as a nation, with a global pandemic and economic struggles and social upheaval creating a great deal of uncertainty. The last thing we need is a leader that makes our children feel unsafe simply by opening his mouth.

I know there are people who think that basic decency and reasonably good character are not necessary qualities in a president, and that nothing matters but certain issues or certain policies, but I 100% disagree. The president is the leader of our nation. The president is the individual face representing our nation among all the world’s leaders. Are we really going to make the argument that literal leaders shouldn’t be expected to behave with dignity—especially when the whole world is watching? Are we really going to say it’s not a huge problem for the president to embarrass our nation with behavior we’d never tolerate in our own children? Really?

“This isn’t normal,” I had to keep telling my kids. “There’s usually some interrupting and some contention in a presidential debate, but not like this. This is awful and unacceptable.” I had nothing else. I’ve never been so embarrassed to be an American.

I guess the one silver lining is that the debate did give us the opportunity to talk about how to handle a bully, what abusive manipulation looks like, and the difficult position Chris Wallace found himself in. But the fact that a presidential debate became a discussion on bullying and abuse is the entire problem in and of itself. This is not the America I want for my children. No policy or issue is worth this humiliation.

In recent years, there’s been a shift as to what exactly a “celebrity alcohol brand” is. While there are certainly still celebrities who slap their names on products without any particular passion for the juice inside, that’s becoming more of a rarity. The super hands-on entertainer-entrepreneur is quickly turning into the norm. So it goes with Ryan Reynolds and Aviation Gin, Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul with Dos Hombres Mezcal, and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Teremana Tequila.

Like all tequilas, Teremana is crafted in Jalisco, Mexico. Johnson, who founded the brand, worked closely with a multi-generational distilling family to build his dream setup in the Jalisco highlands. This isn’t white-labeling or even buying distillate and barrelling it for a few years that we’re talking about. Destilería Teremana de Agave makes small-batch, handcrafted tequila on site. Jimadores harvest mature Blue Weber Agave before roasting their hearts in brick ovens. Afterward, the juice is distilled in handcrafted copper pot stills.

As we’ve mentioned in the past, The Rock’s cultural connection is at the forefront of his brand. The name Teremana is a combination of two words. The first is “tere” which comes from the Latin “terra,” or earth. The second word “mana” pays homage to Johnson’s Polynesian heritage and means “spirit.” With a celebrity owner and a name that roughly translates to “spirit of the earth,” there’s a fair bit of hype to live up to.

We put both Teremana Blanco and Reposado to the test, below.

Teremana Blanco

ABV: 40%

Price: $36.99

The Story:

This premium tequila is made from 100% Blue Weber agave from the highlands of Jalisco which are then roasted and distilled in the manner we described above. This expression is unaged and full of that vegetal sweetness you expect from a well-made, unrested tequila.

Tasting Notes:

From the first nosing, the hand-crafted nature of this tequila is obvious. You’ll be met with earthy, vegetal aromas of cooked agave and subtle hints of cracked black pepper. You’ll be surprised at the mellow nature of this first sip. From there, subtle hints of lime peel and sweet vanilla bean come to play. The finish is long, warming, clean, and ends with more tangy citrus zest.

Bottom Line:

A well-made tequila such as this can fit the bill for a sipper if you’re the type of person who enjoys a blanco tequila on the rocks. Otherwise, mix it into your favorite cocktails and you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how well it holds up against ingredients like lime juice, grapefruit, and other bright flavors.

Teremana Reposado

ABV: 40%

Price: $38.99

The Story:

Like its blanco sibling, this two-time distilled super-premium tequila is made from 100% Blue Weber Agave. It goes through the same production process as its unaged sibling, but after distillation it gets aged in ex-bourbon barrels. The result is a highly sippable, nuanced, well-rounded, rich tequila that should appeal to whiskey fans and tequila fans alike.

Tasting Notes:

If you take the time to nose this tequila, you’ll be met with the sweet smell of roasted agave, charred oak, subtle citrus, and just a hint of smoke. The first sip brings forth brown sugar, creamy vanilla, and vegetal sweetness. The finish is long, warming, and ends with a pleasing, peppery flourish.

Bottom Line:

Aging in former bourbon barrels gives this tequila a nice hint of charred oak and caramel that make it highly sippable. If you do plan to mix it, the depth of this expression will help you revamp classic cocktails. Try it in a Tequila Old Fashioned.

If there’s anything Americans need right now, it’s a good laugh. In these divided times, if there is anyone who can provide one, it’s “Weird Al” Yankovic.

The good news is he’s back with a video that’s a rare foray into American politics. Yankovic has avoided the topic throughout his career, although he did some non-partisan lampooning of the 2016 presidential debates with “Bad Hombres, Nasty Women.”

In 2015, he told the Washington Times that he stays away from “sensitive” issues like “political topics. “And I don’t want to divide my fan base if I can help it,” he said.

“The other reason I don’t do a lot of political humor is it dates pretty poorly,” Yankovic said. “Things that are topical in the political arena this week would be old news a month from now, so that’s probably not the kind of thing I want to have as part of my catalog.”

Yankovic’s new song, “We’re All Doomed” was created with The Gregory Brothers who are known for their online series in which they “Songify the News.” In the video, Yankovic plays debate moderator and sings about the hellscape that is 2020 with interjections from Joe Biden and Donald Trump.

Even though the song is about the current political moment, Yankovic couldn’t deny himself one of his trademark food jokes. “If the Supreme Court is truly Supreme, where’s the guac, ground beef, and sour cream?”

WE’RE ALL DOOMED – Trump vs. Biden ft. “Weird Al” Yankovic

www.youtube.com

Lyrics to “We’re All Doomed”:

Weird Al: 2020’s a raging Hellscape!

Any ideas on how to stop a worldwide plague?

Biden: We should be providing people the help they need

He knew back in February it was a deadly disease. What did he do? He’s on tape acknowledging he knew

Weird Al: Really?

Biden: He waited and waited and waited. And he didn’t even tell you

Trump: President Trump did a phenomenal job. People said that

Weird Al: Well

Trump: We got the gowns. We made the ventilators we got the masks. I don’t wear masks like him—every time you see him he’s got a mask—the biggest mask I’ve ever seen. (the biggest mask I’ve ever seen.)

Weird Al: Will we get back all the jobs we lost?

Or should we set up eleven million Etsy shops?

Biden: My economic plan would create one trillion dollars in economic growth

He has no intention of making it better for you all at home

Trump: I brought back football! It was me! (me!)

Weird Al: What?

Trump: Big 10 Football – and I’m very happy

Weird Al: Who’s it gonna be.?

Trump: They wanna take out the cows… (the cows!)

Weird Al: In the West Wing?

Biden: Now here’s the deal:

He has no idea what he’s talking about

Weird Al: We’re living in the Apocalypse!

I’m begging you to put a stop to this!

Pretty please?

Biden: You say he can inject some bleach

Trump: They cheat!

Weird Al: If the Supreme Court

Is truly Supreme

Where’s the guac, ground beef, and sour cream?

Biden: The American people have a right to say

Who is the Supreme Court nominee

Trump: Her biggest endorsers are from Notre Dame

We have a phenomenal nominee

Weird Al: I ran out of questions

But still got a while

It’s time to drop some bars

Let’s see how you freestyle!

Trump: In Europe they live there

Forest cities!

They’re called forest cities

It’s a forest city

Biden: You know

He talks about the art of the deal

China’s perfected the art of the steal

Trump: Bad things happen in Philadelphia

Bad things

Biden: He’s just afraid

Trump: Proud Boys: Stand back and stand by

Biden: He’s said there are very fine people on both sides

He said maybe you should drop a nuclear weapon on hurricanes

Trump: The cars have computers all over the place

Weird Al: Who is it gonna be?

Trump: They want to take out the cows, the cows!

Weird Al: in the West Wing?

Biden: Now here’s the deal

He has no idea what he’s talking about

Weird Al: We’re living in the Apocalypse

I’m begging you to put a stop to this!

Pretty please?

Biden: Keep yapping, man

Trump: The People understand

Biden: He doesn’t have a plan

Weird Al: Exploding trees, COVID-19

Hurricanes with names past the letter Z

Conspiracy theories about vaccines

Murder Hornets coming from across the sea

Too many memes about World War III

Can’t tell what’s Hell or reality

Earthquakes ruining my whole week

‘Cause I dropped my keys in the crack between the cup holder and my car seat!

Who is it gonna be?

Trump: They want to take out the cows, the cows!

Weird Al: in the West Wing?

Biden: Now here’s the deal

He has no idea what he’s talking about

Weird Al: We’re living in the Apocalypse!

I’m begging you to put a stop to this!

Pretty please?

Biden: You say—he can inject some bleach?

Trump: They cheat!

Weird Al: Who is it gonna be?

Biden: That was really a productive segment, wasn’t it?

Keep yapping, man

The Philadelphia 76ers moved quickly after their first round exit from this year’s playoffs in letting go of head coach Brett Brown after seven seasons at the helm, but have been patient in their coaching search.

Tyronn Lue and Mike D’Antoni were considered frontrunners for the position, but their attention shifted when the Clippers announced that Doc Rivers would be parting ways with the organization after seven seasons of his own. Reporting emerged on Wednesday that Rivers was meeting with the Sixers, with he and D’Antoni now as the top two candidates and Lue being viewed as the likely replacement for Rivers in Los Angeles.

Now, according to Adrian Wojnarowski of ESPN, Rivers is officially headed to Philadelphia.

The news was confirmed by Kyle Neubeck of Philly Voice.

Rivers has compiled a 943-681 record in 21 seasons as a head coach in the NBA, spanning three different teams in the Magic, Celtics, and Clippers, including the 2008 championship team in Boston. His work in Los Angeles was admirable as he built a foundation and helped guide that organization through an incredibly tumultuous time amid the Donald Sterling saga, but his tenure there was marred by playoff disappointment, winning just three playoff series and not once making it to the conference finals.

In Philadelphia, he’ll be tasked with exorcising his and the Sixers playoff demons, as they likewise have seen earlier than expected exits in the playoffs in recent years. He’ll have two dynamic star players in Joel Embiid and Ben Simmons, but will look to crack the code of how to make this roster work, which likely will require some serious moves made by the Sixers brass. In any case, the Sixers get a tenured coach who has tons of experience with high-level teams and superstars, which seemed to be the goal for their coaching search all along.

Adding new characters in Smash Bros. Ultimate is always an interesting look at how a fighting game evolves with new battle balance and skill sets. But it’s also really fun to see characters from different games get added to the ever-expanding rotation of the game’s fighters. And, with apologies to Mr. Game and Watch, the latest additions come right from one of the most low-fi games imaginable: Minecraft.

Nintendo announced on Thursday that Steve and Alex will be playable characters in the latest DLC pack for Smash Bros. Ultimate. The Fighter Pass Vol. 2, which will cost $29.99 and features six fighters — four of which are yet to be announced — will include the Minecraft stars squaring off against the slew of already-weaponized Nintendo nostalgia on the Nintendo Switch.

The news came in a short presentation that showed Steve in a Minecraft-themed stage, revealing that Enderman and Zombie versions of the two characters will be available as well. A trailer that followed the reveal shows Mario and others doing battle, with Sonic blasting him right out of the level and through a wall. He’s shrouded in darkness until Steve breaks down some blocks to check out what happened. It’s actually a pretty funny silent short: Steve walks in, says nothing, eats some meat and then blocks things back up while a Creeper sneaks up behind Mario and blows him up.

We then see a bit of Steve in action, rigidly swinging a sword to do damage on Link, using an axe to hit StarFox and creating block obstacles and using traps to blast other fighters away. It’s a visually jarring thing to see simplistic Minecraft elements in Smash Bros., but it looks like it will be a fascinating addition to combat. It was genuinely satisfying to see a down attack involving Steve with an anvil, blasting a Pipe Plant off screen.

Most people, however, were just concerned about what Kirby will look like when he absorbs Steve’s powers.

As explained in Thursday’s presentation, making a Minecraft character into a brawler was quite a challenge for the team, but judging by the reaction online it will certainly give new juice to Nintendo’s most nostalgic brawler.

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This week on Pod Yourself A Gun, a Sopranos rewatch podcast, we’re discussing Sopranos season three episode three, “Fortunate Son,” which originally premiered March 11, 2001. This episode may not be quite as good as the previous week’s, (one of the best Sopranos episodes ever in this podcaster’s opinion) but it seems to mark a period when even a medium-level Sopranos episode was head and shoulders above anything else on TV. They were back (back) back in a Newark groove, if you will.

This week’s guest is television writer and co-host of the Sexy Unique Podcast Carey O’Donnell (@ecareyo) who has some New Jersey roots of his own to bring to bear in this episode. “Fortunate Son,” directed by Henry J. Bronchtein and written by Todd A. Kessler, really has everything. Christopher becomes a made guy (with a possible omen from a crow), Tony discovers the meat-connection to his panic attacks, AJ struggles with his own mediocrity, and Janice comes back into town to steal Livia’s ex-nurse Svetlana’s prosthetic leg (one of the greatest storylines in Sopranos history, if you ask me). We also get to know little Jackie Aprile, who sort of pisses off everyone and eventually ropes Christopher into a plot to rob a benefit concert at Rutgers headlined by Jewel, an event Matt has astutely termed “a Jewel heist.”

Oh, and did you know there was a pre-blog Perez Hilton cameo?

It’s a fantastic episode, both of The Sopranos and of Pod Yourself A Gun, but really, is there any other kind? Even our B+ episodes are miles better than other podcasts, that’s just me being modest. If you love it, please give us a five-star review on Apple Podcasts and/or wherever you get your podcasts. If you don’t, always remember, no refunds.

With drive-in theaters making a comeback in the COVID era, the uses for the format have also expanded to accommodate far more than just old movies (or new ones, for that matter). Drive-ins are now hosting live concerts as well, giving recording artists an outlet to once again perform in front of fans in person — even if they are separated by necessity and a few dozen car windshields.

The latest artist to make use of the format is R&B/jazz star Thundercat, who will host a socially-distanced concert on October 24 at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, California with guest comedian Hannibal Buress. Tickets will be available beginning tomorrow, October 2 at 10 am PT via Night Out. Attendees will designate the number of guests per vehicle at purchase, with cars to park at minimum distance required by CDC guidelines. All attendees must also wear masks.

Thundercat is six months removed from the release of his latest album, It Is What It Is, which featured the single “Dragonball Durag.” The song was remixed by Guapdad 4000 and Smino in August. Meanwhile, Buress debuted his Miami Nights special on YouTube in July.

The drive-in show is Saturday, 10/24. For more information, visit Night Out’s website here.