Month: December 2020

The NBA starting its 2020-21 season in late December means that the league has the ability to go all-in on Christmas Day, as it does every season. This year will, obviously, be quite different from past campaigns, but the fact that the NBA put together a monster Christmas Day card serves as a constant amid all of the weirdness that we have come to expect this year.

The league announced it’s Christmas Day schedule earlier this week, featuring some of the familiar faces we’ve come to expect seeing on the league’s marquee day of games. There are some newcomers as well and with the five game slate set for Day 4 of the regular season, we decided to rank the five games we expect to see on Christmas, ranging from “you can have this on in the background while unwrapping presents” to “LeBron James and Luka Doncic are playing why are you not dropping everything to watch?”

5. Warriors vs. Bucks

On one hand, yes, this game has the Golden State Warriors and Giannis Antetokounmpo in it, and it is hard for that to not be exciting. But for me, it’s just really hard to get up for a game that includes a team like Golden State that is: 1) Rusty, 2) Breaking in new players and, 3) Nowhere near a finished product due to Points 1 and 2. The Warriors are going to get better as the season goes along and their newer guys (Kelly Oubre, James Wiseman, even Andrew Wiggins) get used to playing with Steph Curry (who played in five games last year) and Draymond Green (who has not played in an NBA game since February).

This is not to say the game won’t be fun to watch — the Warriors in a big game is always exciting, even with all the previous caveats, while the Bucks have the back-to-back MVP, an All-Star in Khris Middleton, and a ton of new pieces headlined by Jrue Holiday. Oh, and if Giannis doesn’t sign an extension, this is the biggest year in franchise history. It’s worth your time no matter what.

4. Nets vs. Celtics

Kind of similar to the last game: Yes, it should be good and fun, but I am trying to temper my expectations at the start about Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving. Both have not played in a minute, while both suffered major injuries (particularly Durant) that required surgery. Seeing them on the court again, at the very least, will be wonderful, but it’s hard to not think they’ll need a little time to get back to being two of the best players in the world, which is perfectly fine.

This game is still going to be a ton of fun. The scrappy Nets are largely running it back from last season’s team, only with a first-time head coach in Steve Nash, the aforementioned two superstars, and a potentially really fun role player in Landry Shamet. Boston is fresh off of barely missing the NBA Finals, so it’s hard to know if they’ll have the legs, but they’re still an excellent basketball team, even as they try to manage Kemba Walker’s knee and fold Tristan Thompson into the rotation. Both of these teams legitimately think they can win the Eastern Conference this year, and this will be an excellent early test for both, even if it stands to reason that neither of them are finished products right now.

3. Pelicans vs. Heat

The Miami Heat might not end up being the best team in the Eastern Conference this year, but they surely are among the most interesting. Making the NBA Finals is an impossibly hard task, but you don’t have to look far to find people who wonder if the Heat were that good or if they just had a mental toughness about them that led to them navigating a tricky situation better than anyone else. That, alone, is going to make them must-watch for the entirety of this season, and that’s before we even get to the intrigue of “how do the young players who were thrust into bigger roles in Orlando respond to a full season?”

They also have an absolutely fascinating matchup in the Pelicans, a team of high-flying youngsters that are going to be hungry after missing out on a playoff spot last year. Zion Williamson in year two and Brandon Ingram after cashing in on his outstanding 2019-20 campaign are two of the most interesting young players in basketball, and on a much more macro level, New Orleans has the potential to be a destination for superstars who want to move due to the team’s treasure trove of Draft picks and two young standouts. Also: Steven Adams and Eric Bledsoe are here now! This game will be fun. I am excited to watch it.

2. Clippers vs. Nuggets

All of these games have a few reasons why you should watch them. This one does, too — Did Jamal Murray take a leap in the Bubble? Is Michael Porter Jr. ready to become a major contributor? Can the Clippers bounce back from [gestures at last year and every bit of ink spilled about it]? Nikola Jokic is playing basketball! — but there is no reason to beat around the bush here. This game features a team that got embarrassed in the postseason last year against the team that embarrassed them. I don’t care about anything else, because for that reason alone, this is a nightcap worth enjoying in full.

1. Mavericks vs. Lakers

There is certainly some concern around the Lakers as to whether Anthony Davis and especially LeBron James sit out some early due to the weirdness of this schedule, especially on the heels of last year ending so recently. However, this is the Christmas Day game and it’d be pretty stunning if they weren’t both out there in a full capacity (even if there’s some significant resting that happens after that). But the thought of watching Luka Doncic in what is, for all intents and purposes, the first big regular season game of his career is so much fun. Doncic has never had this sort of spotlight in the regular season — Christmas Day against the defending champs — and whenever he has played in a big game, he’s delivered. His flare for the dramatic makes him must-watch, even if the Mavericks will have to navigate life without Kristaps Porzingis for some time.

Also, if the Lakers’ two stars do indeed play, and they bring their A games to whatever extent their bodies let them this early, that battle would be otherworldly. Both Davis and James are really good to rising to a standard set by an opponent’s best player, and the back-and-forth of those two and Doncic trying to one-up one another could be a joy — remember, we saw James and Doncic specifically throw haymakers last regular season in an absolutely wonderful basketball game. Here’s to hoping we get this gift again on Dec. 25.

New York power pop band Charly Bliss is planning to help out one of their most loyal fans with a new music release. The band announced that it would release “Marble,” a B-side they’ve played at concerts over the past three years, to Bandcamp, with proceeds going to help Marcy, who runs the fan account @CBpotatoes on Twitter. The account is cheekily named for an odd 2019 incident in which a fan brought a potato to one of their shows with the band name scrawled on it in marker.

Weeks later, the @CBpotatoes account had popped up to repost tweets from the band and its members, as well as posts about the band from other users on Twitter, all with that signature off-kilter humor unique to Stan Twitter and its growing fraternity of adherents. Marcy is the co-founder of the account, as well as their official fan club, aptly called the “Potatoes,” according to the band’s publicist. Marcy recently decided to undergo gender confirmation surgery, so to help her pay for it, the band will donate all the proceeds from “Marble” on Bandcamp directly to her.

Throughout the year, Bandcamp itself has done its part to help artists, waiving fees and helping them to pocket $4.3 million in sales to help bolster their income while touring is blocked by COVID-19 precautions, so it’s nice to see one of those bands paying it forward. In other Charly Bliss news, the band has a live stream, It’s A Blissful Life, coming December 12. The holiday stream will include covers of classic Christmas songs, special guests, and a live discussion. You can buy tickets on their website.

You can purchase “Marble” on Friday, December 4 for $1 on Charly Bliss’s Bandcamp.

Euphoria Part 1: Rue (HBO Max early sneak peek) — Need a little Zendaya to tide you over before the show returns (at an undetermined date) for Season 2? The Emmy award winner returns for the first of two special episodes. This one officially lands on HBO on Sunday, but you can catch it early on Thursday night, only on HBO Max. Rue’s relapsing and ends up in a diner whilst contemplating life after Jules leaves her along at the train station following their winter formal.

Heaven’s Gate: The Cult Of Cults (HBO Max documentary series) — Way back in 1997, the Heaven’s Gate cult made headlines with a comet-chasing mass suicide that echoed Jonestown. However, this incident turned out to be the most voluminous suicide on U.S. soil and also involved 20 people’s disappearances. An alien-conspiracy theory and applesauce and disturbing infomercials soon surfaced, and this documentary series surfaces never-before-seen footage and first-person accounts to fill in blanks and add some UFO weirdness to the mix.

The Unicorn (CBS, 9:30pm EST) — Walton Goggins keeps on doing the Widower Wade thing while attempting to celebrate Shannon’s birthday in an appropriate manner. Meanwhile, his friend group confronts racial injustice.

Station 19 (ABC, 8:00pm EST) — The firefighter drama’s dealing with the COVID-19 pandemic in Seattle with Sullivan’s disciplinary hearing bringing high drama when Emmett Dixon and former Fire Chief Dixon must testify, all while an electrical fire breaks out elsewhere.

Grey’s Anatomy (ABC, 9:00pm EST) — The new COVID-19 reality continues for the Grey Sloan crew as Owen’s medical diagnosis complicates matters, and lockdown is rough for Koracick.

Star Trek: Discovery (CBS, 10:00pm EST) — The U.S.S. Discovery heads to planet Pahvo, where the Klingon’s cloaking technology becomes a most intriguing exploration.

Jimmy Kimmel Live — Zendaya, Diego Luna, Paris Jackson

The Late Late Show With James Corden — Bryan Cranston, Rufus Wainwright

In case you missed these picks from last Thursday:

The Flight Attendant (HBO Max series) — Kaley Cuoco busts away from the The Big Bang Theory with a fun flight of (darkly comedic) fancy. She plays portrays an airline stewardess whose international jet-setting lifestyle includes falling into bed in various countries with various handsome men. During the course of one particularly fateful encounter, Cassie wakes up next to the dead body of a one-night stand. She spends the rest of the series attempting to clean sh*t up. Surrender to this madcap ride.

Saved By The Bell (Peacock series) — Here comes the official reimagining of the original series with a lot of the O.G. crowd on board for more neon-tinged adventures. Zack Morris is now (a terrible) California governor, Kelly Kapowski’s his first lady, and Elizabeth Berkley and Mario Lopez are back as Jessie Spano and A.C. Slater, respectively. If you’re lucky, you’ll see the return of Zack Attack. Screech is sitting this one out, but prepare for some (still lighthearted) social commentary.

Dan Le Batard’s tenure at ESPN has always been an interesting one, as the legendary Miami radio and TV host has clashed with management at times but also lent a unique and fresh voice to their airwaves that’s been of great benefit to the network. In January, their partnership will come to an end, with ESPN announcing on Thursday that January 4 will be the last day for The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz on ESPN Radio and Dan’s final day hosting Highly Questionable.

Highly Questionable will remain on the ESPN afternoon show lineup with a rotating cast of hosts, one would think led by Bomani Jones and the numerous other co-hosts that have joined Dan on a regular basis over the last few years. As for Le Batard’s radio show, that will be headed to a new home as the release cites Dan looking to “pursue a new opportunity.” Le Batard also thanked ESPN for his time there and the numerous people that helped create and bring his shows to life.

“Gracias to ESPN for unleashing Papi and Stugotz upon an unsuspecting America, and for lending its substantive credibility to our careening clown car,” Le Batard said in a release. “Can’t believe Stugotz finally achieved his dream of becoming a high-priced free agent. I’m forever indebted to Erik Rydholm, Matt Kelliher and their vibrant team for providing a creative oasis across a decade, and for expanding the Le Batard family to include so many brilliant colleagues who have become forever friends, bonded eternally by laughter and love. Want to also extend my gratitude to Chuck Salituro, Jimmy Pitaro, Traug Keller, Marcia Keegan, Connor Schell, Juan Diaz, Mike Foss, Amanda Gifford, Liam Chapman, Megan Judge, Elizabeth Fierman, the Hialeah-soaked crew at Imagina …and when did this become a droning acceptance speech instead of a quick goodbye? In short, thank you, Disney and ESPN, for a quarter century of absurd blessings. To our loyal army of concerned fans, and to everyone who walked along and played an instrument in our Marching Band to Nowhere, know that it is a very exciting time for us, not a sad one. And that you’ll be hearing our laughter again soon enough.”

Wherever Le Batard goes next, he’ll surely bring his extremely large and loyal following with him, and for ESPN it’s an interesting choice to let him walk given the popularity of his show and the podcasts that came from his network.

Warner Bros.‘ game-changing decision to release its entire 2021 film slate on HBO Max is causing all kinds of mixed emotions over the troubled future of movie theaters and the excitement of being able to see blockbusters from the safety of your couch during the pandemic. However, there’s one group of movie fans that’s feeling left out in the cold: Roku users. While HBO Max recently struck a deal to stream on Amazon Fire TV devices, it has yet to come to an agreement with Roku, which means the app is currently unavailable for millions of users. (Well, technically, there is a workaround to stream HBO Max on a Roku device, but it won’t work for everybody.)

So with the Warner Bros. news out in the open, Roku users took to Twitter to voice their feelings on missing out on the party:

While some Roku users are feeling left out, there are others who feel this latest news will be the final catalyst for HBO and Roku to come to an agreement. And while some feel that having Warner Bros. entire 2021 film slate gives HBO an advantage, Roku is still holding access to millions of streaming users that HBO Max is going to need with this new release strategy. So, it’ll be very interesting to see how the situation unfolds, and whether it can be done before Wonder Woman 1984 hits HBO Max on December 25.

While most reactions centered on a (hopefully) pending HBO Max/Roku deal in light of Warner shifting its release strategy to streaming, The Atlantic‘s David Sims tweeted this dark, philosophical musing: “What if theaters are murdered just because Warners forgot to make a deal with Roku and Amazon before launching HBO Max?” Granted, the pandemic is a major factor here, but wow, that’s something to chew on while we all wait to stream The Suicide Squad in our pajama pants.

There was a period not long ago in which the Wizards were the NBA’s annual “better-in-the-playoffs” squad. In the postseason, Washington developed a formula reliant upon defense plus the playmaking of John Wall and Bradley Beal, and rode that to three second-round trips from 2014-17.

That backcourt existed as a permanent blur. They turned defense into offense like it was an open gym, and learned to play off one another brilliantly in the halfcourt. As Beal developed and Wall got better as a shooter, either player could drive the car and the offense would still run nicely. A more modern version of the team developed around them as time went on, which culminated in a seven-game series against the Celtics in 2017 with Kelly Oubre and Otto Porter starring alongside the two guards and playmakers like Bojan Bogdanovic and Tomas Satoransky coming off the bench. They lost that series but the next era of Wizards basketball was in sight.

Wall signed a supermax extension a few weeks after the Boston series that quickly became beset with bad luck. He hasn’t played more than half a season since due to various injuries, and in the process the rest of the young core from that 2017 squad has departed aside from Beal. Heading into the 2020-21 season, his rehab is finally over after separate knee, heel, and Achilles’ surgeries over the past three years, but instead of reuniting Wall and Beal on the court in Washington, the Wizards made a deal this week to flip Wall — along with a 2023 first-round pick — to Houston for Russell Westbrook.

In some ways, the on-court fit should be similar to how Beal co-existed with Wall. But in the time since Wall went down, it became clear Beal was a star in his own right, perhaps even better than Wall was at his peak. As the days dwindle on Beal’s contract and the Wizards go into emergency mode to avoid trading their franchise cornerstone, they likely couldn’t afford to wait any longer to get Wall healthy and playing at a high level.

Of course, it’s not even a sure thing Wall will ever do that again. The game has also changed in a way that demands that Wall expand his offensive game more to be a bigger shooting threat, though he’s never shot better than 35 percent from deep in a full, healthy season. The guy replacing him is no marksman either, but Westbrook should be more available than Wall and should operate alongside Beal in much the same way Wall did.

During the time Wall was out, Beal developed into a strong playmaker in his own right, making it less important to have someone like Wall initiate every set. Likewise, as Westbrook has evolved, he’s turned into less of a traditional playmaker and more of a scorer/bowling ball/Tasmanian devil. If the offense was always going to be two stars taking turns isolating and running pick-and-roll, Westbrook is probably better equipped to do that than Wall.

Beal showed us last season that even with a guard rotation of role players like Isaiah Thomas, Shabazz Napier and Ish Smith, he could still perform (at least offensively) at an All-Star level. Most impressively, Beal posted a career high in assists as well as free-throw rate, meaning he created shots for teammates at a higher level in addition to easy points for himself. Washington’s surprisingly good offense was 7.9 points better per 100 possessions when Beal played, backing up a long trend of Beal boosting the scoring efficiency of his Wizards teams. If all those improvements are real, it means Beal and Westbrook could find a nice balance, plus Beal is far more comfortable and accepting of an off-ball roll than James Harden was in Houston.

There are still areas where Westbrook could help Beal more than Wall could. At times, even as he created more foul shots, Beal still got stuck when he met strong defense at the rim. Beal has always been small for a wing, and though he’s grown more elusive and built up a better handle since being drafted, he still is a liability to get stuffed at the basket.

As an isolation scorer in 2019-20, Beal, who didn’t play in the Bubble, was just in the 61st percentile in efficiency, per Synergy. Because of his growth as a passer and foul-drawer, he was a bit better in the pick-and-roll (75th percentile), but still not elite. Now that he’s 27, it may be unrealistic to expect him to become an elite individual shot creator, even if his improvements from last year hold.

Where Beal excelled in 2019-20, as always, was off the catch. Few combine shooting touch, quickness and athletic ability like Beal.

That’s great news when it comes to Westbrook. There should be some comfort between the two as Westbrook goes to work in the pick and roll or isolation while Beal moves around off the ball to get open threes and layups. Few have succeeded in that role next to Westbrook in the past, but he’s also never played with someone whose skills align so well with it the way Beal’s do.

Mostly this is about having a capable, good player in the lineup next to Beal on a consistent basis. Last season was effectively a lost one for Washington, and one such year is probably the limit that a franchise can stomach while their best player is in his prime. There was no certainty Wall would ever be effective or healthy again coming off of an injury as devastating as an Achilles, and while some of those questions exist for Westbrook too (their contracts are the same length), they aren’t as worrisome, and in theory his play style could be a good mix with Beal’s.

After re-signing stretch forward Davis Bertans and adding Deni Avdija and Robin Lopez to the team, the Wizards figure to be a contender for the playoffs once again. If things fall right for them, they could shoot for the sixth seed, even, and avoid a play-in game. That just wasn’t going to be true of a team crossing its fingers that its star point guard can regain his form after such significant time off. There is an obvious emotional side to the Wall trade that is impossible for anyone outside of the nation’s capital to fully understand given his deep connection with that city and its people, and for fans that’s a significant reason for their frustration with this deal and is wholly understandable. From a basketball perspective though, if the Wizards wanted to keep their other star around for his prime, it was a move that gave them more opportunity to do so.

Only Beal knows what has to be done to keep him happy and patient with Washington, but it feels like that limit is approaching. Trading for Westbrook should buy Washington some time and could make them pretty good, too. Barring catastrophe, they should be at least be able to put a competitive squad on the floor on a nightly basis, and hopefully will find themselves on the upswing and with a path forward to start building around the new-and-improved Beal.

There is only one thing we say to Game of Thrones prequel news: Yes, please.

In an industry-shaking statement about Warner Bros.’ entire 2021 theatrical slate having a simultaneous release on HBO Max, WarnerMedia CEO Jason Kilar saved a non-movie surprise for the end. “P.S. Principal photography starts on the next Game of Thrones series, House of the Dragon, in a few months. Look out for dragons overhead!” he wrote, along with the first concept art from the highly-anticipated series.

I am easily distracted by dragons, so this was a good decision.

Cuties!

Created by George R.R. Martin and Ryan Condal (who will also act as co-showrunner with Miguel Sapochnik), House of the Dragon stars The Outsider‘s Paddy Considine as Viserys I Targaryen, and takes place 300 years before the events of Game of Thrones. “The Game of Thrones universe is so rich with stories,” HBO programming chief Casey Bloys said earlier this year. “We look forward to exploring the origins of House Targaryen and the earlier days of Westeros along with Miguel, Ryan and George.” House of the Dragon is expected to premiere in 2022. Hopefully, by that point, we’ll safely be enjoying The Batman, another Warner Bros. release, in theaters.

(Via Medium)

With vaccine rollouts for the novel coronavirus on the horizon, humanity is getting its first ray of hope for a return to normalcy in 2021. That normalcy, however, will depend on enough people’s willingness to get the vaccine to achieve some level of herd immunity. While some people are ready to jump in line immediately for the vaccine, others are reticent to get the shots.

Hesitancy runs the gamut from outright anti-vaxxers to people who trust the time-tested vaccines we already have but are unsure about these new ones. Scientists have tried to educate the public about the development of the new mRNA vaccines and why they feel confident in their safety, but getting that information through the noise of hot takes and misinformation is tricky.

To help increase the public’s confidence in taking the vaccine, three former presidents have volunteered to get their shots on camera. President George W. Bush initially reached out to Dr. Fauci and Dr. Birx to ask how he could help promote a vaccine once it’s approved. Presidents Obama and Bill Clinton have both stated that they will take the vaccine if it is approved and will do so publicly if it will help more people feel comfortable taking it. CNN says it has also reached out to President Jimmy Carter to see if he is on board with the idea as well.

A big part of responsible leadership is setting an example. Though these presidents are no longer in the position of power they once held, they are in a position of influence and have offered to use that influence for the greater good.

Of course, some will call the former presidents Deep State actors, or puppets for the pedophile cabal, or co-conspirators in Bill Gates’ and George Soros’ evil plot to destroy humanity, or or some other paranoid, tinfoil hat goofiness. But for the folks living in normal reality, such bipartisan examples of leadership and solidarity with the American people will be appreciated.

And for those who doubt that it will make a difference, remember that Princess Diana’s simple act of hugging a child with AIDS sparked a sea change in public perception of people who were HIV-positive. Seeing her fearless compassion, even for a photo op, made a difference in the way society viewed HIV and AIDS.

Vaccine reticence isn’t new, and some of it is understandable. In 1976, a new strain of H1N1 (swine flu) prompted President Gerald Ford to push a mass vaccination program that was halted after it was discovered that the vaccine was associated with a small increase in Guillain-Barré Syndrome. Of the 45 million Americans who received the vaccine, 450 developed the syndrome—a tiny percentage, but enough to undermine public trust.

As Dr. Mike Ryan, executive director of WHO’s emergencies program, pointed out early in the pandemic, the only thing worse than a pandemic would be a bad vaccine. But the accelerated development and trialing of the vaccines that are currently being evaluated does not mean they have been rushed or are unsafe. Obviously, scientists have wanted to get a vaccine made and distributed as quickly as possible—but also as safely as possible. And while it’s tempting to assume that a vaccine being rolled out in a little less than a year means it’s risky, since the process usually takes much longer, that really is just an assumption.

The reality is that the virus itself is risky, both in the potential for death as well as long-term health impacts. And while impressively quick, the vaccines we’re seeing will have gone through sufficient trials to put most people’s fears to rest. While people fret about not knowing the long-term effects of the vaccine, Dr. Fauci stated in an interview with the Washington Post that in 90 to 95 percent of the vaccines we already have, long-term adverse effects have revealed themselves in the first 30 to 45 days. While vaccines will continue to be monitored for a year or two to see if anything unexpected pops up, Fauci says he feels confident in recommending everyone get the vaccine once it’s approved by the FDA.

“The speed was based on very exquisite, scientific advances and an enormous amount of resources that were put into Operation Warp Speed to make this happen,” Fauci said. “There was no compromise of safety, nor was there compromise of scientific integrity.”

“I can tell you when my turn comes up and the FDA says that this is safe and effective, I, myself, will get vaccinated and I will recommend that my family gets vaccinated,” he added.

Our understanding of science, immunology, and vaccine development has improved greatly in the past 50 years. So have the protocols, regulations, and approval processes for safety and efficacy. The whole point of having institutions and independent monitoring boards and transparency is to make sure things are being done as safely as possible.

Hopefully, our trust in science, understanding of the risks of COVID-19, and example set by leadership in our country will prompt enough people to get vaccinated so we can finally make our way to the light at the end of the pandemic tunnel.

North Carolina artist Toosii has had a breakout year, releasing his February mixtape Platinum Hearts and album Poetic Pain in September, and watching his songs “5 Stars,” “Love Cycle,” “Mercedez,” and “Red Lights” go viral. With each new release, his buzz grows — and that goes for his most recent single from Poetic Pain, “Sapiosexual,” which he brings to the latest edition of UPROXX Sessions. The 20-year-old melodic rapper croons his way through the passionate ballad, expressing his appreciation for his paramour’s thought process as much as her physical attributes.

While he doesn’t have many features out at the moment, that may soon change. Posting his booking email on Instagram, he offered a guest verse to anyone who can pony up a $15,000 fee — which may turn out to be a strong investment, considering how his profile continues to rise.

Watch Toosii perform “Sapiosexual” above.

UPROXX Sessions is Uproxx’s performance show featuring the hottest up-and-coming acts you should keep an eye on. Featuring creative direction from LA promotion collective, Ham On Everything, and taking place on our “bathroom” set designed and painted by Julian Gross, UPROXX Sessions is a showcase of some of our favorite performers, who just might soon be yours, too.

Making a solid burrito takes a little trial and error. There’s always that phase in everyone’s burrito-making journey where structural integrity is the greatest foe. We’ve all had homemade burritos fall apart in our hands, forcing us to resort to a fork and knife on a plate. And just like that, all the style of the world’s ultimate one-handed meal is lost.

Today, we’re going to help you skip all the messiness and get your burrito rolling game on point — with tips for making a well-built burrito that will stay together every time. Here are the basics you need to know:

1. Use the right size tortilla.
2. Don’t overstuff but don’t skimp on fillings either.
3. Seal your burritos.
4. Toast or heat your burritos before serving.

For a full, meal-sized burrito, go with 12-in./30cm flour tortillas that are at least room temperature. If the tortilla is cold, it’ll break or crack when you roll it. You can also warm up the tortilla in the microwave for ten seconds to help give it a little pliancy.

When it comes to fillings, keep it straight-forward: Rice, beans, protein, cheese, salsa, avocado, maybe some sauce. A good tactic for making a burrito at home is using leftovers. Do you have leftover chicken and rice? You’re already halfway to a rad burrito. For this little tutorial, we’re using leftover carnitas, lime rice, and black beans. We’re also adding a quick pico de gallo (de-seeded tomato, minced red onion, cilantro, chili, salt, and lime juice), cubed avocado, and grated jack and cheddar cheese.

The last two points up there go hand-in-hand. One, using a very simple flour paste to seal your burrito assures its structural integrity throughout the meal. Toasting or grilling the burrito binds that seal — while adding a nice textural element to the final product.

What you’ll need in the kitchen:

• Large heavy pan or skillet
• Second heavy pan or skillet
• Spatula
• Kitchen knife
• Food brush
• Small cup
• Spoon
• Cutting board

A Simple Burrito

Again, go with what you have in the fridge. I’m using carnitas here, simply because that’s what’s in the fridge. You don’t need to spend days making filling for your burrito. Buy one of those rotisserie chickens at the grocer, shred it, toss it in a pan with some garlic and taco seasoning, and boom — shredded chicken burrito.

I know rice in burritos is highly contested, so I’ll say this: If you don’t like rice in your burrito, don’t put it in. That simple.

Ingredients:

• Choice of protein
• Rice
• Beans
• Pico de Gallo
• Avocado
• Cheese
• Hot Sauce
• Butter
• Flour
• Water

Method:

Since this is about burrito construction, we’re forgoing making beans from scratch or anything else. You can use canned beans. No one is stopping you. Grate some cheese, if that’s what you like on your burrito. If not, don’t.

Make a burrito you dig. That’s what I did with this.

Before I start, I make a quick paste for sealing the burrito. This is the exact same one I used for the chimichanga recipe. It’s one part flour to one part tap water. I use one tablespoon to one tablespoon. I mix with a spoon until smooth. That’s it.

Construction:

So, once I set up my mise en place (all my ingredients ready to use), I slightly warm a tortilla and place it on a large cutting board. A quick note, my rice, beans, and carnitas are all hot when I construct this burrito.

I add a small layer of rice, maybe 1/2-inch thick with a valley down the middle. I scoop about 1/4 cup black beans into that little rice trench. Lastly, I add the carnitas. It’s maybe a half-a-cup.

Next, I add the cheese, pico, and avocado in that order.

I test the size of the burrito at this point. You want the bottom half of the tortilla to reach all the way to the bottom of the filling on the opposite side easily. If it doesn’t, simply remove some filling.

Now, it’s time to start rolling. I fold each side in and pinch around the outer edges of the filling. This points the top and bottom flap inward as seen in the image above.

I then take the bottom flap and fold it over the filling. I use the tips of my fingers to just tuck the tip of the flap under the filling and tighten the whole thing as I roll it away from me, while making sure the ends stay tucked in too.

I roll until there’s about a one-inch flap left up top. I use a small brush to paint on a thin layer of the flour paste onto the flap. You don’t need much.

I then roll the burrito over with the seam side down. I seal the flap by gently applying pressure by pressing down. You don’t need to do more than gently pat it down, really.

At this point, you have a sealed burrito ready to eat (as long as all your base ingredients were piping hot when you assembled them). But, there’s one more step to add that extra x-factor to any good burrito.

Toast:

Let’s face it, the best burritos are the ones that are toasted off on a plancha or pressed in a sandwich press before they reach your hands.

I don’t have a plancha or a sandwich press, so I’m using a stainless steel pan that I use like a plancha. I add in about a tablespoon of butter over medium heat and let it just start to brown.

I then add the burrito, seam-side down, and place another heavy pan on top of the burrito. You don’t need to press down at all. The weight of the pan will do all the work.

After one to two minutes, you’ll get a nice browning on the bottom. Remove the top pan and flip the burrito over to brown the top. Put the second pan back on top and let it sit for another minute or two until nicely toasted.

Once both sides have a nice crispy toasted crust, it’s ready.

Serve:

I cut the burrito in half to get a look at the cross-section and serve it with a beer.

As you can see, the burrito is still properly sealed and remains so as I eat it. There’s no overflow, no falling apart, and no mess. Also, the light toasting in butter gives you an incredible crunch, with a brown butter depth to the otherwise very plain flour tortilla.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot the hot sauce. I pour on some Valentina’s and tuck in. This was super filling and very tasty. I was also huge. I may need a nap. I’m sure to sleep like a baby, dreaming of all the people out there whose burritos will hold together from the first bite to the last.