Seth Meyers had a lot to cover during Monday’s episode of Late Night, including Republicans refusing to take responsibility or even say “our bad” for the riot at the Capitol building because they’re too busy complaining about losing followers on Twitter.
“Let me begin by doing my part to begin the healing process, bring down the temperature, and tone down the rhetoric by saying this: F*ck you, you cretinous insurrectionist gargoyles,” he said. “Of course you guys want to move on! The kid who sh*t himself at prom is the one who always wants to shift the conversation to everyone’s summer plans.” He added, “You incited a violent mob that rampaged across the Capitol trying to overthrow the government and now you want us to seek unity and healing. I’d call you craven, soulless ghouls, but in the case of these seditionist dipsh*ts, they’re more like soul-devouring ghouls.”
Meyers also had a few words for Melania Trump, who released a baffling statement where she painted herself as the real victim of the failed coup that left five people dead. “I find it shameful that surrounding these tragic events there has been salacious gossip, unwarranted personal attacks, and false misleading accusations on me – from people who are looking to be relevant and have an agenda,” she wrote. This was too much for Meyers, who put on a fake accent to highlight the First Lady’s “accomplishments” over the last four years. “I mean, how dare you salaciously gossip about this woman after she ‘Be Best’ for you!” he joked, barely able to refrain from laughing. “She refurbished the White House tennis pavilion for you! Not for her. You think she has time to play tennis? Between sending messages via jacket? And hating Christmas with all her heart?”
You can watch the Late Night clip above.