A Four-Goal Performance By A Player Named ‘Jizz Hornkamp’ Led To His First Name Trending

Twitter is a very silly website. Soccer can be a very silly sport. Put those things together and magic can sometimes happen, which was the case on Saturday. A match in the Dutch Eerste Divisie — the second-highest level of football in The Netherlands — caught the attention of people all over the web due to the performance by one curiously-named athlete.

FC Den Bosch found itself in an 0-3 hole against Excelsior following a goal by Joël Zwarts in the 47th minute. And then, something magical happened: Someone on FC Den Bosch scored four goals in 34 minutes of work. That someone? Well, that would be none other than 22-year-old forward Jizz Hornkamp.

So all jokes aside, this is a legitimately outstanding performance by Hornkamp. He accrued a perfect hat trick — a goal with his head, a goal with his right foot, a goal with his left foot — and then added in one more with his right for good measure. The header was excellent, the penalty was confident, the left-footed goal was magnificent, and the fourth goal included a really clever touch to beat the keeper and give him an easy tap-in.

Unfortunately, Excelsior added a penalty in-between his second and third goals, so this ended in a 4-4 draw. But here’s the thing: The man’s name is Jizz, and as a result, he got a moment in the sun on Twitter that extended beyond just footy fans.

It is up to you and you alone to determine whether this is funnier than some other extremely funny names from soccer, such as “Kevin Lasagna” or “Fabián Assman,” both of which I swear are real.