It’s not every day that an Academy Award winner begins selling vibrators. But even rarer is when a vibrator-selling Academy Award winner claims that she’s the one who popularized people wearing masks. Gwyneth Paltrow is making history, folks.
The Shakespeare in Love actress and Goop tycoon was interviewed by the New York Times last week about her company’s sold-out “Double-Sided Wand Vibrator.” It retails for $95, which is shockingly reasonable compared to the $75 vagina candle. After answering whether she’s, um, tested her product (“I think you’ve made me blush. I’ll just leave it at that”), Paltrow was asked about her pre-pandemic selfie where she’s wearing a mask. “This is a familiar pattern in my life. I do something early, everyone is like, ‘What is she doing? She’s insane.’ And then it’s adopted by the culture,” she responded. It’s Paltrow claiming that she invented yoga all over again, and she’s rightly being mocked.
ok gwyneth calm down pic.twitter.com/4egHOdAldd
— joshua gutterman tranen (@jdgtranen) February 20, 2021
Paltrow is so powerful, can’t stop this kinda chaos, simply gotta respect it https://t.co/xTqgaap65D
— Mr. Chau (@Srirachachau) February 21, 2021
i can’t stop thinking about that gwyneth paltrow interview where she implied she started the mask wearing “trend”
— jamie
(@jamturtles) February 22, 2021
Gwyneth Paltrow says she got COVID and now has long-haul symptoms but don’t worry, she has a quack doctor and a $500 blanket. https://t.co/SJzCN437GY
— Rebecca “Wear a Fucking Mask” Watson (@rebeccawatson) February 22, 2021
gwyneth paltrow single-handedly caused covid so she could start a mask trend https://t.co/rn6nszfSkg
— char (@gavesomanysigns) February 21, 2021
She’s always been at the heart of culture pic.twitter.com/kNCL6N3x5C https://t.co/TaRttaIgAE
— Campy
Youtuber Era
(@scroogekin13) February 22, 2021
Gwyneth is like patient zero for all the latest trends https://t.co/r5nY2BmYOl pic.twitter.com/jse1Z8G9T1
— paultoes (@paultoesjohn) February 22, 2021
Paltrow, who contracted COVID-19 “early on” and still has “some long-tail fatigue and brain fog,” is also selling supplements, hiking shoes, and a $500 blanket on Goop’s website. “I’ve always been into oils, but this one’s got amazing clinical results: You see fewer wrinkles, firmer skin, softer skin. But layer it on over the vitamin C serum and I’m telling you, the glow is next-level,” she wrote about some fancy oil, even though “a study published [last] week found that vitamin C and zinc don’t really make a difference in COVID-19 symptoms,” according to the Huffington Post. No matter. “Do that every morning and your skin is going to look great no matter what,” Not-a-Dr. Paltrow claims.
But that would require removing your culture-adopted mask! It’s a tough choice.
(Via the New York Times)