Month: February 2021

Let me take you back to a moment that changed my life. Flashback to a pre-pandemic America, everything is open, strip mall parking lots are packed, people are wearing pants, and we’re all holding hands and breathing on each other or whatever the hell we all use to do. A hungry future food writer (me) is waiting in line to grab a bite to eat at a Mod Pizza when his eyes glance over at some promotional material hanging in the store. “We make our dough the right way: just flour, water, olive oil, and a pinch of sea salt.”

Whoa whoa whoa, wait what?

“Is that all that’s in pizza dough?” I asked a friend. “You mean to tell me I’ve been living my entire life buying pizza when I could’ve just made my own goddamn pizza with four freaking ingredients?” (It turns out to be slightly more than that… but not much.)

Since that day, I haven’t had a single reason to buy a frozen pizza or pre-made dough. And my pizzas have been better for it. Yes, it turns out that making pizza dough is one of the easiest kitchen tasks you can do. Truly. So this Super Bowl weekend, don’t spend a fortune getting your pies delivered or waste money picking up pre-made “fresh” dough, instead let’s learn to make our own.

You won’t need any special tools (no pizza stones, steels, peels, or special ovens required) and you probably have all the ingredients sitting in your kitchen pantry right now — all just waiting to get turned into a delicious homemade New York-style thin-crust pizza!

Ingredients

Traditional pizza dough is made with just five ingredients: flour, water, olive oil (and even this ingredient is debatable), salt, and active dry yeast, but because we’re assuming you’re working with a conventional electric home oven that isn’t capable of getting nearly as hot as the type of pizza oven the pros use, we’re going to alter this recipe slightly to ensure your crust is nice, crispy, and brown.

To yield four 12 inch pizza pies you’ll need:

• 5 cups of flour (+ a bit more to fine-tune)
• 2 cups of warm water (+ a bit more to fine-tune)
• 1 packet of active dry yeast (about 2 1/4 tsp)
• 2 tablespoons of Extra Virgin Olive Oil
• 1 tablespoon of sugar
• 2/3 tablespoon of salt

Why sugar? Two reasons: 1) It’ll help to feed the yeast and make the dough rise faster and 2) It’ll help your pizza brown better (along with the olive oil) in your low-temperature oven. If you feel like a tablespoon of sugar is too much, you’re wrong, it’s not, and don’t worry this won’t result in the sweetest pizza you’ve ever tasted — the yeast will devour it and you you won’t even notice sweetness.

Do you need bread flour? No, All-Purpose will do in a pinch, but bread flour will give you a chewy end product, which is more desirable for pizza.

Turning It All Into Dough

First, in a warm cup of water combine your yeast and sugar until the yeast has activated (bubbled up). Combine your 5 cups of flour, 2/3 tablespoon of salt, olive oil, and warm yeast water in a large bowl and slowly work in an additional cup of warm water while folding your dough into itself until it’s at the consistency you like. This ratio of flour to water should get you near the ballpark of where you want your dough to be, which is semi-wet and sticky, but not sticky enough to stick to your fingers.

Knead your dough with a rubber spatula (or your hands if you feel like transferring to a flour-dusted surface or have a large enough bowl) until the ingredients combine into a smooth clump-less consistency. You’re may find yourself adding in more flour and water here and there to get it just right.

You’re going to have to eye-ball this step and call it when it looks right to you, but If you pick out a chunk of your dough and it tears like this:

It’s not ready. Look how chunky that is! No good.

When it’s stretchy and smooth like this without any tearing:

You’ve hit the sweet spot, give those arms a break!

Once your dough is smooth and semi-sticky, transfer from your mixing bowl to a flour-dusted surface and tear it into two large chunks with your hands (a twisting motion works best here)

Repeat the process until you have four chunks of dough of approximately the same size and weight. Store your four dough balls in well-oiled containers and wait for the magic to happen.

If you’re making the pizza the same day, you might as well leave your dough out to rise. If you’re making this dough in advance (which we recommend) go ahead and toss it in the refrigerator. After about 2-4 hours (slightly longer if refrigerated), your dough should have doubled in size.

Apologies for my lighting. I promise that the dough didn’t turn green.

Why You Should Make Your Pizza Dough In Advance

If you don’t tear through four pizzas in one evening (no judgment if you do, it’s the Super Bowl, we get it) you’ll find that your dough consistently improves as it ferments. Once your dough smells slightly beer-like (2-3 days), you’re in the sweet spot. Prepare to enter a world of crispy almost sour-dough like crust.

When it comes to good pizza dough, time is the most essential seasoning.

Optional Ways To Spice Up Your Dough

If plain pizza dough isn’t what you’re after, feel free to infuse a helping of Italian herbs and garlic powder into your olive oil before mixing your ingredients. It’s an easy way to flavor your crust, but we strongly recommend going the fresh route and just implementing those ingredients as toppings on the pie itself.

Tips For Stretching And Cooking Your Pizza

Hey friend, all we said we’d do is tell you how to make dough. If you want to turn that dough into a pizza, that’s your business… All right fine, we won’t leave you hanging like that.

First things first, pre-heat that oven as high as it goes (probably 550-575 degrees Fahrenheit). Place your dough on a well-dusted surface (flour, semolina, or cornmeal) and form a circular crust along the rim of the dough gently with your fingers.

Since we used olive oil in our dough, it should be fairly easy to work with so you won’t need a rolling pin or any special tools to stretch out your pizza. The key for first-timers is to be patient and move slowly here, you don’t need to toss your pizza in the air (though, there is a good reason to), it’s more important that you don’t tear your dough.

Instead let gravity do the work here, gently lift up your dough with two hands and work your way around, lifting slightly and letting the weight of the dough do the stretching. If you really lack the confidence, watch a YouTube tutorial but don’t beat yourself up about your pizza not being perfectly circular, it might turn out as a weird oblong shape. That’s okay, prettier pizzas will come with practice, all that’s really important is that your pizza tastes good, which it should!

Once the dough is stretched, transfer it to a well-oiled flat 12-inch pan or steel cookie sheet if you have one. If you don’t, use parchment paper. If you don’t have parchment paper, use aluminum foil.

Top your dough with sauce (I use Rao’s, but feel free to use any pizza sauce) [true Italian pizza sauce is just canned tomatoes crushed by hand.], then cheese (I like whole milk mozzarella, people can debate which is best until the cows come home), then your toppings of choice (I did spinach and pepperoni), then finish with more cheese, slide into the oven, wait about 8-10 minutes or until the cheese has a nice bubbly brown and bam!

You just made your first homemade pizza. Look at that cornice! The puff!

Flag and Independence Day enthusiast Dril is making a video game and he wants your help to finish it. The enigmatic Twitter persona (@wint) has branched out to other mediums in recent years, starting a Patreon for writing and other projects. But the latest, announced on Friday, is a 2D platformer video game already in the works.

They shared what was called an “extremely beta version” of the platformer, which you can watch above, and a character that sort of looks like a policeman deftly leaps through the air and over bad guys and obstacles. It looks a bit sparse, of course, but pretty fun.

According to the Patreon, the game is very much the product of the pandemic, though the art and story is basically done at this point.

being locked indoors and/or unemployed for almost a year, however, offered me the opportunity to develop the foundation of a full-fledged 2D action/adventure game which i believe will be pretty good. The game follows the quest of a silent protagonist who stumbles upon the gift of immortality in a dangerous future where Top Influencers and corrupt hollywood guys maintain a cruel grip on society. The gameplay places a strong emphasis on employing satisfying, responsive aerobatics to traverse a dozen or so worlds and find a shit load of treasures and secrets.

There are also some animated sprites that were shared as well, including a corn man holding a pitchfork, and another with the head of a camera stepping on another dude.

The goal stated on the Patreon is to get $5,000 a month from Patrons to “make the good game,” with a stretch goal of making the game “very good” if it reaches $10,000 a month. Making a game is hard, though, and there’s mention of bringing on some help to develop and get the title over the finish line if things go well. According to the Patreon, it’s on track for completion in the next few years.

“So far I’ve done all the artwork and programming myself, and could likely finish the project sometime before the mid-2020s at this rate,” Dril wrote. “Although I’d be open to hiring assistance if I raise enough ‘DOUGH’ here to pay someone a reasonable amount.”

You can support Dril here.

As part of Curry Brand’s celebration of Black History Month, Golden State Warriors star Steph Curry is hooking up with the Baltimore-based artist and activist Devin Allen for a collaboration that celebrates the Black community in Baltimore.

The collection, which will support local programs such as Wide Angle Youth Media, the Hilton Recreation Center, and the Level 82 Fund, goes on sale today. In addition to the clothing collection and media package, Curry will drop a new colorway of his signature Under Armour sneaker, the Curry 8 Beautiful Flow. The new kicks incorporate the black, red, and green of the Pan-African flag as well as a dark charcoal color that represents the asphalt of Baltimore’s streets.

Aside from the Baltimore-inspired clothing and sneakers, Curry is teaming with former Ravens wide receiver Torrey Smith and the Level 82 Fund to build a new basketball court at the Hilton Rec Center in West Baltimore. Altogether, the UNDR ARMR X DVNLLN collection is designed to highlight the resilience of Baltimore’s young athletes and the overall community while continuing to build it up and create a new generation of artists and activists like Allen, in addition to athletes like Curry and Smith.

Check out all the goodies from the release here.

Troy Aikman won’t be calling this year’s Super Bowl, but he’ll be in a star-studded new Frito-Lay ad entitled “‘Twas the Night Before Super Bowl” alongside Jerry Rice and Joe Montana, with Marshawn Lynch narrating and a half-dozen other Hall of Famers joking around as well.

Aikman caught up with Uproxx this week to talk about shooting the commercial, the way the NFL celebrates the legends of the game, and the next generation of quarterbacks-turned-broadcasters.

Watching this new Frito-Lay ad, I was thinking that in this of all years it must have been pretty nice to get to see everyone and put something like that together. What was the process for you and how was it getting to see everyone again?

It was great. From top to bottom, the whole experience was fantastic. I’ve said a number of times on and off the record that it was probably the best shoot, the most fun shoot, that I’ve ever had. And not only fun, but also the most efficient. Everyone just did a really great job and Frito-Lay was on top of it from top to bottom.

When I shot, they shot everyone kind of in different spots, so when I filmed mine, it was just me and Jerry and Joe, who I was in the scene with. Peter Berg directed it, who I had already known, and [he was] a total pro. All the safety precautions were taken, social distancing, masks right up until we got ready to tape, and it was just a really enjoyable experience, and I think I speak for everyone who was a part of that commercial with that.

One of the things I think football fans like is that around this time of year, we get to see you guys having fun, being ambassadors of the game. What does it mean to you that your legacy didn’t end when you left the field and you still get to be part of this stuff?

It means a lot. That was a great group to be a part of, so to be asked to be involved in that shoot meant a lot to me. [There were] some guys that I have a relationship with, guys that I competed against, and have a real history with, especially with Jerry. And Joe was on that team with the 49ers in 1992, but I obviously competed against him over the years not in the postseason.

It was really cool. The first commercial, “‘Twas the Night Before Kickoff,” was fantastic, I thought Marshawn Lynch was great, and really thought it was a lot of fun, so being familiar with how that one went and the context behind it all, for Frito-Lay to pull this one together with all the old-timers — and I say that respectfully — I thought it was great.

But I think you’re right. I think back a lot. Someone’s name will come up, a player from the past, and I’ll think, I wonder what they’re doing now. So I think there is something to be said, not that we’re that far removed from the game, for fans to see guys that were in their living room every week and now have gone in different directions, to come together in a commercial like this is pretty cool.

Obviously you personally aren’t too far from football fans’ minds doing games for Fox, so I wanted to ask you what that was like for you this year and what your takeaways were now that that’s wrapped up and you did a full season with all that was going on in 2020.

It was pretty crazy, as you can imagine. For us, at first, it’s hard to get used to no fans being in the stands and the whole atmosphere. I get to the field three hours before kickoff, so after you’re there at the stadium for about an hour, they open the gates, and there’s this build-up to kickoff. So to not have that, early on, it was hard to get used to, because now we’re getting ready to get on the air and it still feels like the game shouldn’t be starting.

Once the game kicks off, we have the crowd noise just like you’re getting at home, so it feels like there’s fans even though we obviously can’t see them. But I always marveled at the players, they don’t hear any of that. So for them to be able to go out and compete in that environment when they’re used to 60, 70, 80 thousand fans at a game, I thought it spoke more to them than anyone else.

Getting in and out of the stadiums, there was no traffic, so there were some things that kind of made it much more convenient. Especially for our Thursday night games, there’s no rush-hour traffic getting to the stadium, when the games ended, we got out of there without any issues. You don’t run into anybody. So that part of it was different and made travel a little bit easier, but I think I speak for everyone around the country that just hopes that this was the only time we’re going to have to go through that and that next year we have full stadiums and we’re not talking about this any longer.

On the note of broadcasting, we’ve heard a lot of news of guys who might be announcing games, whether it’s Philip Rivers or Drew Brees, other guys whose careers are wrapping up. As a quarterback who transitioned that way, why do you think the attention gets put on them so early and what will make them successful if and when they choose to do that?

There was a time when I was playing that there would be a couple guys, like Michael Irvin and Deion Sanders, we kind of figured would go into television, but there wasn’t a lot of talk about it in our locker room, and I don’t remember there being a lot of talk about it league-wide as far as what players might or might not go into television. It was the last thing that I thought I would do.

Now, you hear players — and it’s been this way for a while — talk about how they would like to go into broadcasting when they retire, and I understand it. It’s a great job. I’ve been really fortunate to have this job. I just finished my 20th year in broadcasting.

Guys like Drew Brees, Philip Rivers, and not just all quarterbacks, there’s a lot of guys who will be successful. Drew’s going to, maybe this year if he’s done playing football since he’s already signed with NBC, and I think Drew will be fantastic with all that he accomplished, his awareness of the game, and being able to convey that to the viewer, I think he’ll be terrific. And I think Philip would be too, he’s always been one of my favorite guys, but I’m not sure if that’s the route he’s going to go. It’s my understanding he’s going to coach. But there’s a lot of really talented guys, smart guys who know the game, who would be really good on television.

So it’s not just a matter of waiting until Dak Prescott is done playing? It’s not just Cowboys quarterbacks?

(Laughs) Well you might think that, huh? And a lot of Cowboys players, of course. But no. Hopefully Dak’s playing a long, long time. Hopefully I’m out of broadcasting by that time. I’m not planning on retiring any time soon, but that will mean that Dak’s playing for a long time.

He’ll come take your spot when you’re finished up, then.

Oh yeah.

This year, Joe Montana stars in Guinness’s first Super Bowl commercial in more than a decade. Guinness became the “official beer” of Notre Dame, Montana’s alma mater, back in August, and the ads are all about how true greatness is about resilience, starring the original comeback king, Joe Montana.

More importantly, this was how it came to be that I got to talk to my original sports hero, a guy whose jersey I owned in preschool, the star of my very first and probably to this day greatest sports memory: the time he led a 92-yard drive down the field trailing by three points with 3:10 left on the clock before hitting John Taylor for a touchdown pass with 34 seconds left to help the 49ers beat the Bengals in Super Bowl XXIII. Holy shit that was awesome, I still get goosebumps thinking about it.

During the drive, Montana famously pointed to the stands during a TV timeout and said, “Hey, that’s John Candy.”

And that’s always been the most interesting thing about Joe Montana’s version of greatness. That for every Michael Jordan, Tiger Woods, or even Tom Brady, whose competitiveness seems to border on mania, every Joe Montana story seems to involve him being an affable guy. There may have been athletes greater, or athletes more chill, but has anyone so chill ever been so great? The part of his career we 49ers fans so often forget is that Montana led the Chiefs to an AFC Championship and then a Wild Card game before retiring at 39 and having a shoulder replacement. That his second act mirrors Tom Brady’s while playing for Mahomes’ Chiefs makes him a peculiarly apt choice for Super Bowl spokesman this year.

In the lead-up to the Super Bowl LV, I got to ask Montana all about drinking Guinness in Ireland, how he maintains his chill, and how much longer he might’ve played if the NFL rules during his playing days were as kind to aging quarterbacks as they are now.

…

So is that sweet Guinness zip-up part of the perks of the sponsorship deal?

Absolutely. We can get you one if you want.

Right on. Okay, so I know about that story during the drive against the Bengals that you supposedly pointed out John Candy in the stands to loosen up your guys. Are there any other stories of you loosening up your players in unconventional ways?

I really was only talking to one guy, that was the thing. Harris Barton, he was a people person. So he was the one that was always going out to dinner. We were free for dinner during Super Bowl week and he was like a kid in the candy store when he came back to tell you what celebrities he saw. So we were there and it’s just on a TV timeout, and I always tried to be myself, whether we’re winning and losing it didn’t matter. John Candy had just happened to be framed between two guys’ shoulder pads. And I was sitting there thinking, “I don’t remember Harris saying anything about John Candy.” So I went over and said something to Harris about it, “Hey, look, there’s John Candy.”

He looked at me and he started mumbling a bunch of stuff that I didn’t understand, something about the Super Bowl and trying to win. I thought he would appreciate it. He appreciates it today more than ever, but there were fun times all the time. There was always a lot of talking going on and there’s things that you can’t say, or I mean… you can repeat, but you probably couldn’t print them.

I heard another story that you were doing competitive horse jumping a few years back and that you got thrown through the stakes and then you bounced up and yelled, “Human field goal.”

No, I never did that. But I was so… We had a bunch of horses and I was really more of a cutting horse person. You have to look it up and see it. It was pretty crazy and I’d say probably the most adrenaline rush I’ve had since playing football. But my girls and my wife, Jennifer, and the two girls were jumping at the time. And I’m not a very good spectator, but it takes a lot of work and timing and getting used to the steps of the horse and to get them to the jumper right.

I had no patience for that. I just wanted to jump.

So there were so many times where it was the most embarrassing. This is the last time I rode. I said, “Okay, I’m done after this.” I’d gone in and I jumped… Well, I jumped, the horse didn’t jump. I cleared the rail and I was done, and I was mad. And I went to sit up in the stands and I’m getting ready to video and this guy comes running up the steps and his wife who is sitting behind me and she goes, “Oh man, I can’t believe it, you just missed it. He fell off again.” I said, “Okay, I’m done.” So I went back to my cutting horse. That was the end of my jumping days.

I heard that story from an editor of mine who said he used to work for Charlie at one of your ranches.

Oh yeah. Charlie’s actually the one that got me started on Guinness, over in Dublin. We were over there, the girls were looking at jumping horses, and he said, “Hey, let’s go get a pint after this.” And I’m like, “Okay.”

I was like most people though, I was looking at Guinness going, “Oh my gosh. I really don’t want a big, heavy beer.” And how different it was when I tasted it, it’s light and smooth. I was hooked from that point. Every day we were over there I’m going, “Charlie, come on, time to Guinness. Let’s go.”

They always say that it tastes better in Ireland, but that’s like the old stereotype. You think they’re working it out and getting the US version to match up?

I think they got it pretty close. And the thing about it too though, you have to remember, there’s a different atmosphere over there when you go into those pubs. That’s just something we don’t have here, no matter how much they try to make one here, it just doesn’t have that same feel.

I mean, the places the girls were jumping horses were ridiculous, you’re jumping in buildings that have got bullet and shell holes from a World War. And that just makes the atmosphere different, but they’re pretty close at this point.

Are you recognizable in Ireland? I lived in Australia in the early 2000s and even guys that didn’t know anything about American football, they knew Joe Montana.

You know what? I haven’t been back since. I mean, this was while the girls were still in high school, so 15 years ago, 10-12 years ago now. So I’m looking forward to getting back over there. We had a fun trip and yeah, this would be a great connection. Maybe with all the commercials, I might be a little more recognizable now, but before, out in the country where we were… people were all about the horses.

So these commercials, they’re about greatness and being the GOAT and all that. And I feel like… with other sports stars that are considered like the GOAT — like Michael Jordan or Tiger Woods or Kobe Bryant — it seems like all the stories about them or how they’re kind of single-minded and psychotically driven about their sport. And I feel like every story I hear about you is that you’re kind of like a laid-back, affable kind of guy.

You know what? I was a practical joker. I liked having fun. The camaraderie in the locker room was what you miss the most when you leave. And I don’t know, I learned from Bill Walsh, I guess, about being the quarterback and understanding what comes with it and what it takes to make the other guys around you — I don’t want to say “comfortable” but not acting like you’re above them in any way. I tried to do that. I tried to just be myself. If you do something stupid, I’m going to make fun of you, whether it’s in the huddle or on the sideline. And if you have problems when we’re out there, I’m not going to yell and scream at you, we’re going to try to figure out how to help you. I need you. And whether you’re somebody dropping a ball, or giving up an interception, or linemen having trouble blocking, whatever it might be, we got to figure out how to fix it, you know? Because when we get on the sideline, we’re all going to get yelled at.

So I don’t know… that’s just my personality. It just was different. I’m still driven like that. I’d compete to the end. Quarterbacks had this thing, we used to do. Portable goal goalposts were hollow on the top. So we would get rolls of tape that were just a little bit used. And we would sit there before practice and toss them up there to try to get them to drop in the hole. It didn’t matter if I was behind by one, I was going to stay there and get yelled at because I don’t want to lose. So everything was competitive for me. When I was first got there, we competed at everything. Space Invaders had just come out, backgammon… didn’t matter, whatever it was, we were competing in. So I still had that drive. I just… my personality was a little different.

Between when you were coming up and then watching your sons come up, do you think the blueprint for success was different? Did you notice a lot of differences in the way people approached the sport?

Yeah. There’s not a lot of teaching that goes on in college. They expect people to come up ready to play. You had kids who started late playing the game and… We’re in Pop Warner and the head coach was only letting his son play quarterback. And in the meantime, we’re going, “If something happens to that kid you’re going to be in trouble. So someday you need to start letting other people play because if he gets hurt, what are you going to do?”

So he goes, “Okay.” And Nicholas [Montana’s son] later wanted to play, but he took a snap. I got there a little bit late before they started and the coach goes, “Well, I let him do it, but he was trying to take the snap like this.” [Joe holding his hands sideways]

I go, “Well that’s what he does in the playground.” He goes, “Well I don’t sped all practice teaching them how to put their hands under center,” because it’s never happened for him. Nobody wants to teach anymore, they just have expectations. And especially if you’re a son of an athlete, they really have expectations.

So I think that was the biggest part. The most difficult thing for those guys is that everybody expected them to just be something and not feel like they had to learn anything.

Do you think that you would have played longer if with the current rules that they have that protect the quarterback a little more?

I might still be playing! I’m going to be 65 in June. It’s just, yeah, it’s a different game. Because I really quit because of the physical part of it. I was looking at the rest of my life with my kids and sports and being active, and because we’re a pretty active family altogether, all six of us. I’m probably the least active now because of all my injuries still, but it’s just, it’s a different era and a different time where you can sit back in there and be a lot more comfortable in the pocket. Knowing, even if you’re going to get hit, you’re not going to get body slammed and have somebody on top of you 300 pounds compressing you into the ground.

And so it makes the game easier. And I clarify that with “easier,” meaning it’s still hard, but it’s easier for guys who can play at that level and know that they don’t have to stand there and take that hit. That used to be the differentiator between other quarterbacks years ago, “Can I stand there, knowing that guy right there, as soon as I let this ball go, he’s going to tackle me, but he’s not just going tackle me, he’s going to compress his body weight into me?” And that’s where guys were getting hurt. Because if you think about it, quarterbacks are the only guys standing still when they get hit and they get hit by guys who outweigh them by 100 to 150 pounds. It’s hard for your body to take that.

You seem like you’re pretty active. You’re talking about horse riding and all that. Do you have physical limitations from your playing days still?

My first back surgery got rid of my sciatic nerve on my left leg. So it’s hard to keep muscle tone and I’ve had six or seven knee surgeries, cleanouts on that. And it’s looking like time for a replacement. I had a shoulder replacement, five-level neck fusion, another one, another single-level the next year, three backs, I don’t know how many elbows, three or four. My shoulder replacement took four surgeries to get it right. It’s just, yeah, it hasn’t been fun. But hopefully, it’s going to get better.

Everybody talks about The Drive and The Catch and the plays that show up in the highlight reels. Do you have any plays or moments of yours that you think are great that maybe don’t show up in those or get talked about as much?

I won’t say the most important game, but I think one of the more defining games for us and for me was when we played Philadelphia in Philadelphia, when they had Reggie White and all that group up front, and Buddy Ryan was the coach, and everybody said we couldn’t handle them physically. The first series I think I hit Jerry for, I don’t know, 60, 70-yard touchdown pass right down the middle. And I’m like, “God, this is going to be easier than I thought.” Next thing I know, I’ve never picked myself up off the ground more times between then and the fourth quarter than any other game that I played in. And we ended up coming back in the fourth quarter, but it took plays by Jerry Rice, Brett Jones, and Tom Rathman.

It was a gang effort, but we stayed in there, fought. And I still remember that when we were playing, I was standing there and– we were ahead and if we make a first down, we could run the clock out and we ran a little read route by the halfback. He’s out there, sitting there wide open and I think Jerry Rice was in the slot, Jerry takes off and I’m going, “Oh, touchdown.” So I throw the ball to Jerry and he goes for the touchdown, but the look on the coach’s face when I let go of the ball instead of throwing it to the back, in the video his eyes are wide open like, “Oh my God.” I got to the sideline and he goes, “You are so lucky that was complete.” But that’s probably one of the biggest things that sticks out in my mind.

Super Bowl LV is this Sunday. Vince Mancini is on Twitter. You can access his archive of reviews here.

Murda Beatz and Shordie Shordie continue to promote their upcoming joint album Memory Lane with the video for “Love” featuring Trippie Redd. This time Murda and Shordie are a raucous wedding band, while Trippie shows up to snatch the bouquet from a pack of eager bridesmaids. Murda’s beat (heh) is slow and melodic, giving the two crooning rappers the perfect backdrop to emote, speaking from the heart as the wedding-themed video supports their impassioned pleas.

Two of the three artists in the video were recently guests on Uproxx’s performance show, UPROXX Sessions. Shordie came through in August to perform his plaintive single “Know You,” while Trippie popped up last week to give his debut performance of the fan-favorite “V12.” Both rappers also appeared in episodes of React Like You Know, offering their takes on classic music videos of yesteryear. Shordie had some astute observations for Trick Daddy and Trina’s “Nann” and Trippie gave his thoughts on Mark Morrison’s “Return Of The Mack.”

Meawhile, Murda Beatz has continued to contribute to some of the biggest names in the game, including Ariana Grande’s album Positions, Lil Baby and My Turn, and his own “Doors Unlocked” with Polo G and Ty Dolla Sign.

Watch the “Love” video above. Memory Lane is due 2/26 on Warner.

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

The Super Bowl arrives on Sunday and as is always the case, it offers the most robust betting card of the year. There are few things I enjoy more than perusing the Super Bowl props sheet, as there are literally thousands of options for betting during The Big Game. However, that also means it can be difficult to parse where value might lie and where to even begin with filling out your card.

That’s where we come in, as we’ve scanned the monstrous list of props from the Westgate SuperBook to pull our favorite bets (and some that we just can’t resist because they’re ridiculous and fun). You can find our official Winners for this week from Brad Rowland here, as he handed out five picks including four props, but we expand on that in this space as sometimes you want to spray the board. As always, don’t get too heavy on props, especially if you’re firing on a lot of different ones, and keep the betting to within your means.

1. Longest TD of the game UNDER 46.5 yards (-110)

These are two teams with some explosive playmakers, but even the Chiefs, with all of there incredible speed, only have two players (Mecole Hardman, Tyreeek Hill) with a catch of 47+ yards this season and don’t have a single run of more than 32. On top of that, without their starting left tackle, I feel like the opportunity to sit back and try the real deep pass plays that take time to develop might not be there as often as KC might like. The Bucs’ longest pass play of the season is 50 yards — four players have at least one 47+ yard reception — and just playing the odds here, it is more likely than not that we don’t have a 47-plus yard touchdown play in this game. There will be some scares as Hill makes a catch in space crossing the field and the Bucs possibly look for bombs to Scottie Miller and Mike Evans, but the odds are in your favor on the Under, even if rooting against explosive plays isn’t as fun.

2. Patrick Mahomes total passing attempts OVER 41.5 (-110)

The Bucs are a really good run defense and I expect the Chiefs to throw the ball a lot and throw short and underneath in lieu of running the ball in this one. Mahomes had 49 pass attempts in their first meeting this year for this reason, and went over this total nine times in the regular season. We’ll be especially helped if the Bucs look to take away big plays and make him work down the field, because some methodical drives with like 8+ passes on them would be tremendous here.

3. Buccaneers to score first (+105)

The Chiefs always defer to the second half if they win the coin toss and the Bucs have taken the ball twice in the playoffs. That means you are very likely going to have Tom Brady on the field for the first possession of the game and at plus value, I like my chances of him at least getting the Bucs into field goal range.

4. Travis Kelce OVER 7.5 receptions (-110)

Kelce has caught eight or more passes in nine of the last 10 games for the Chiefs including in both playoff games. He’s really, really hard to take away and is Mahomes’ favorite target to consistently move the chains or keep things in a manageable down and distance.

5. Mecole Hardman OVER 24.5 receiving yards (-110)

In theory, your biggest concern with the Chiefs receiving corps is keeping Hill from beating you. The Chiefs will likely be aware of this and can look to replicate that same explosiveness but with Hardman, who will get some shovel passes that are “receptions” in end arounds. Plus, all it takes is one crossing route with space for him to go over this total. It’s not a lock, but based on what he’s done this season, the odds are in the Overs favor.

6. Tom Brady longest rush OVER 0.5 yards (-110)

The QB Sneak GOAT getting disrespected here. I expect at least one sneak for a solid yard or two and, because it’s the Super Bowl, it’s possible he’ll be willing to take off to try and get a couple yards. I believe in Tommy Wheels.

7. Leonard Fournette OVER 3.5 receptions (-150)

This is Brad’s favorite prop and I will ride with him on it. The Bucs are going to have to throw the ball and Brady loves him some checkdowns to keep the chains moving and stay in manageable situations. They almost never throw to Ronald Jones so all those running back targets go to Fournette, and given the Chiefs’ speed and aggressiveness in bringing pressure, it wouldn’t surprise me if Byron Leftwich dials up a few screens in this one to try and slow down that Kansas City rush.

8. Mike Evans UNDER 64.5 receiving yards (-110)

Evans is a beast in the red zone and that tends to be where Brady looks to him the most. Tampa likely needing to pass a lot in this game to keep it close worries me some, but Evans’ targets tend to come when the field gets shorter and, for that, we like the Under. It could be very sweaty, or just get crushed outright early. Evans has only gone over this number seven times this season.

9. Kevin Durant points + rebounds vs. 76ers (-6.5, -110) over Darrel Williams rushing yards

Every smart person has the Williams under in this game provided it’s close to 30. Westgate, wisely, has Williams down at 26.5, so we steer clear of that. However, Kevin Durant is averaging 30.8 points and 7.5 rebounds per game this season so, if he simply achieves his averages, we’re getting line value on the number Westgate is offering and join the sharps on the Williams under. So, go KD, go.

10. Chiefs-Bucs first quarter points (+7.5) over UNLV-Air Force margin of victory

It is real degenerate hours over here now, and I must preface this by saying that Air Force is a dreadful college basketball team so beware. However, UNLV isn’t exactly good and on the off chance we get a tight one in the great Thomas & Mack Arena, we’re basically getting free money here. So, we need the Planes to take care of business and lose a close one, or else we will be in dire need of fireworks in Tampa.

BONUS TERRIBLE SAVINGS ACCOUNT PROP BET

Denver Broncos points in home games vs. AFC West opponents (+7.5) over Chris Godwin receiving yards

Can we take a moment to talk about how breathtaking this prop is? Imagine making this bet and having to hold onto this ticket until next December, knowing likely by late Sunday night whether you have a chance, and having to be invested in Denver’s three home games against the Chiefs, Raiders, and Chargers? Godwin’s total is 79.5 in this game and last year the Broncos had 78 in those three games. It is a terrible bet, because no one wants to have to be invested in seeing a Drew Lock-led Denver team score points against what should be three solid teams next year, but my goodness I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to show you all the glory that is this bet.

There’s no love lost between Shepard Smith and his old stomping ground, Fox News. The current CNBC anchor spent 23 years there, mostly out of loyalty to Roger Ailes, who he paid tribute to as a “complicated” person following the ousted news network head’s death. A little while later — and after he’d continued to slam his colleagues’ handling of almost everything from the NFL to a Clinton controversy — Shep left the building. Fast forward a few years, and Shep began anchoring at CNBC while declaring that he has no idea “how some people sleep at night.” That was a statement to Christiane Amanpour, to whom Shep also stated that he’d hung at Fox News for as long as he could to provide a counterpoint to Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity’s far-right rhetoric.

Well, Tucker was listening, and he’s salty. After Shep covered a story of a Florida grocery store that was almost completely full of maskless patrons (during a pandemic), Tucker turned on his sarcasm faucet and let it flow. “Tonight we bring you the story of a genuine investigative journalist,” Tucker began. “A man who’s been forgotten. Cast aside like an Acosta when he should be an Edward R. Murrow. That’s an injustice we plan to rectify right now.” Yikes.

That was only the beginning. “Last night, this same investigative journalist (now an anchor at CNBC) broke the story of a lifetime. If Pulitzer Prizes still mattered, and they don’t, this would get a Pulitzer,” Carlson said while comparing the clip to the Zapruder film and the moon landing. “We believed the hype, I guess. Maybe when you spend 30 years reading scripts about car chases everything seems like a car chase.”

Tucker then threw down his verdict: “The problem is, not everything is a car chase. Sometimes people are just smiling at each other in a grocery store. Sorry, overheated news guy. That’s not actually news.” So far, there’s been no reply from Shep Smith. Let’s hope he’s not listening anymore.

Super Bowl Sunday is almost here. Even if you’re still under full lockdown, it’s a great day to smash your “clean eating 2021” regimen, break out the classic Super Bowl party foods, and gorge yourself for a few commercial-filled hours. And as you indulge, you’re going to want plenty of good beer on hand to wash those salty snacks down with.

The Super Bowl parties might not be big in 2021, but you can still elevate the experience of watching the game with a little thoughtful curation.

Pairing Super Bowl party foods with beer should be simple and tasty. That’s all that really matters. You don’t want to spend all day Saturday finding one bespoke bottle that’ll cost you more than a copy of Madden. Don’t get us wrong, we’re still calling out a few special beers below, but really this is about good brews that you can grab without too much effort.

Hopefully, the ten pairings below will help your Super Bowl Sunday feel fun and light. Even in a pandemic.

Chicken Wings — Deschutes Black Butte Porter

Price: $9.99, six-pack

The Dish:

As we highlighted this week, chicken wings don’t mean one thing.

They can be prepared and then dressed in many different ways. Generally speaking, you’re going to have a lot of umami, a lot of spice, and hopefully a lot of crispiness. You definitely need a beer that can stand up to those big and varied flavors.

The Beer:

This old-school icon from Oregon is just the beer for your wing-based gluttony. The brew is built upon five malts with chocolate and wheat malts forming a core. A touch of Pacific Northwest hops add a mild bitterness to cut all that umami. Plus, the ABVs are 5.5 percent, making this an easy all-day drinker.

The Pairing:

What you’re getting with Black Butter Porter is a counterpoint. There’s a clear sense of dark cacao and bitter and almost creamy espresso beans with a touch of sweet vanilla that’s all still somehow light and effervescent. And since sweet and bitter are the perfect reversal of spice and umami, this beer shines as a wing pairing.

Kielbasa — Pilsner Urquell

Price: $10.79, six-pack

The Dish:

Ah, Kielbasa. The spicy sausage from Central Europe is the grilling masterpiece. It’s thick, meaty, and should be full of herbal seeds and plenty of chili spice. They’re great on their own or sliced with some mustard powder sprinkled over the top. But throw a chunk of kielbasa in a crusty bun with some pickled onion and grain mustard … chef’s kiss.

The Beer:

Sticking with the Central European theme, why not go with a beer that was literally invented to be paired with this type of food?

Pilsner Urquell is the original Bohemian pils and is probably the most quaffable entry on this list, thanks to those bespoke Saaz hops and super soft spring water.

The Pairing:

Pilsner Urquell also has the uncanny ability to really calm down overly sharp spice on the tongue with its floral fizziness and light nature. Those hoppy florals are drawn back but present. The malts have an ever-so-slight sweetness. But the real star of the show is the ability of this beer to go down almost too easily with fatty and spicy sausages.

Nachos — Modelo Negra

Price: $17.99, 12-pack

The Dish:

A big mess of nachos is never a bad idea. It’s a textural masterpiece of crunchy, crisp, gooey, soft, and bold. It’s also a flavor bomb — hitting some serious umami and savory highs while still touching on grainy corn and smooth dips. There’s a lot going on and it all works.

The Beer:

Modelo Negra is one of those beers that’s hard not to love. It’s light but not simple. There’s a dark, almost toffee, maltiness at the base with a slight hint of cinnamon next to real rye crustiness while also being easy-to-drink. Then there’s a hint of sour creaminess that sneaks in that really rounds this beer out.

The Pairing:

That last note of sour creaminess is what ties this so well to nachos. It creates a bridge of sorts between the sour cream that is likely on your nachos and the flavors of the beer. The malty sweetness with that light body is also a nice counter to the heavier and spicier aspects of a plate of nachos.

Kebabs — New Belgium Voodoo Ranger Imperial IPA

Price: $11.86, six-pack

The Dish:

Meat on a stick over a fire sounds pretty simple. While it is — in theory — if you don’t marinate or season your kebabs well, they’ll be lackluster at best. You can marinate in yogurt and spices overnight, dry or wet brine for a few hours, or simply season well before they go on the outdoor fire. Just do something.

In the end, you should have a stick of juicy, crispy, and delicious meat (veg optional).

The Beer:

Since we’re talking about a fairly simple dish with kebabs, we’re going big with the beer. Voodoo Ranger Imperial IPA is big while still feeling accessible. The beer is brewed to really amp up the piney hops while also providing a light counterpoint of bright citrus.

It’s not all dank. But you can’t miss the hop notes, either.

The Pairing:

All that evergreen, resinous nature really will suit standing outside under some trees while grilling up your kebabs. Then the spiciness and citrus of the hops will provide a nice check to the salty and fatty meat, kind of like spritzing the kebabs with lemon juice right after they come off the flame.

Dips — Elysian Superfuzz Blood Orange Pale Ale

Price: $11.99, six-pack

The Dish:

We wanted to branch this pairing guide out into guacamole, seven-layer dip, ranch, queso, artichoke, blue cheese, salsa rojo, pico, etc. But then we’d be here all day. So let’s just section this off. If you’re serving some sort of chip with some sort of dip or dips, you’ll need a beer that has a little something catchy to it.

A dip is either going to be an umami bomb or cheesy/funky or cut with plenty of citrus and herbs. We’ve got a beer that can work in all those scenarios.

The Beer:

Elysian’s Superfuzz Blood Orange Pale Ale is a beer that can stand up to pretty much anything. The beer is a pairing of German and Pacific Northwest hops with actual blood orange peel and blood orange flesh in the making of the beer.

The Pairing:

The lightness and brightness of this beer will balance nicely with any overly salty treat. At the same time, the beer serves as a nice companion to tart or citrusy snacks. It’s the best of both worlds.

Chili — Allagash North Sky

Price: $13.99, four-pack

The Dish:

Look, everyone has their own chili recipe. We’re not here to judge you if that includes pintos and ground beef or venison and chili paste or steak and beer with paprika. Make the chili you love and pair it with a good stout, preferably one you can use to make the chili too.

Luckily, there are a lot, lot, lot of stouts to choose from. (Here are thirty we love!)

The Beer:

Allagash’s North Sky hits that nice mark of being very drinkable while packing good flavors to counterpoint a killer chili with a clear sense of dark chocolate, roasted nuts, and an earthy dryness.

The Pairing:

All chili should pair nicely with stout. If you can’t find this one, look for a local craft stout that hits easy notes of dark chocolate and earthiness while still being somewhat creamy and light. The best bet will be to add a can to the chili with the stock to really dial in that pairing.

Sliders/Burgers — Jester King Noble King

Price: $14.71, 750ml bottle

The Dish:

Burgers are one of those dishes that can be devilishly simple (bun, meat, cheese) or overly complicated (mixed patties, bespoke sauces, ridiculous cheese, one-off buns, random greens that you have to drive an hour to get — you get it). Both have equal merit but on Super Bowl Sunday, the former is likely the play. After all, a well-executed yet simple burger is one of the best delights in the food world.

The Beer:

Do you know what’s great with burgers that are either simply made or all cheffed up? Champagne. But since this isn’t a champagne pairing list, let’s pick a beer that errs close to that with Jester King’s Noble King. This is sort of like a dry and fruity champagne that’s been hopped. There’s a bit of fruity sourness that also holds a slightly creamy yet earthy and grassy funk.

The Pairing:

This works two ways. Either it’ll be a big and bold building block for a simple yet delicious burger with few accouterments and take that humble burger to new heights or this beer will be the perfect match to a burger with funky Stilton with home-pickled chili peppers and a garlic/truffle aioli that you whisked yourself on a bun that’s been toasted in your backyard firepit.

Again, it’s kind of the best of both worlds.

Hot Dogs — Coors Banquet

Price: $12.99, 12-pack

The Dish:

There are few things better than the humble hot dog.

It’s all good: grilled, fried, water bath cooked, beer steamed, smoked… topped with ketchup, mayo, mustard, kraut, onions, pickles, cheese, bacon, relish, chili, brisket.

Hell, pile a f*cking heap of poutine on top and the hot dog will still be amazing. It’s a gift and a joy (be sure to buy good ones.)

The Beer:

Let’s keep things simple. Coors Banquet really feels like the best hot dog beer there is. That Rocky Mountain water and Moravian malt come together to make a crushable beer that’s cheap and easy to find everywhere beer is sold. You can’t beat that.

The Pairing:

Banquet also feels like the beer that’ll live up to whatever you put on your hot dog. Bonus points, the beer isn’t going to look down its nose at you for your hot dog topping choices. That’s a win-win, folks.

Brisket — Sierra Nevada Pale Ale

Price: $10.74, six-pack

The Dish:

A well-made brisket is hard to beat. Still, it takes time and effort to do it well — in an oven or in a smoker. The end result should be unctuous, juicy, savory, peppery, and full of beefy goodness.

The Beer:

A classic dish needs a classic beer. Sierra Nevada’s iconic Pale Ale is just that beer. The brew has the subtlety to really pair well with fatty meats — thanks to those light hop florals next to a slight caramel maltiness. The hint of pine and grain really help keep the taste balanced while the medium body reminds you that you’re drinking a well-crafted beer.

The Pairing:

Brisket is very fatty, juicy, and savory with, hopefully, a peppery edge. There’s a boldness to Sierra’s Pale that just works if you’re stuffing your face with fatty, smoked meat. It’s light meets dark — a flavor explosion.

Pizza — Birra Moretti La Rossa

Price: $9.99, six-pack

The Dish:

Let’s face it, the majority of folks watching the Super Bowl are going to be eating pizza. This is another dish that can mean about a million different things. One person’s favorite pizza is likely loathed by someone else. In truth, there are no wrong answers. Eat the pizza you like and don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise.

The Beer:

Birra Moretti’s La Rossa is a malty treat that has a slightly sour meets caramel sweet bready crustiness. That’s counterpointed by light and almost floral hoppiness with a touch of dried fruit. Really though, it’s the maltiness next to the effervescence that makes this beer shine as a crushable brew.

The Pairing:

Birra Moretti’s La Rossa feels like it was built to be paired with pizza. That initial maltiness feels like a pizza crust with a touch of sweet tomato. It’s also light enough that it won’t take away precious space for that extra slice you know you’ll want to have.

With both Marvel and Star Wars returning to the pop culture forefront thanks to their increasing presence on Disney+ with WandaVision and The Mandalorian, respectively, it’s fair to ask if the two massive properties will ever have a crossover event in attempt to absolutely melt nerds’ minds. Heck, Marvel Studios head Kevin Feige is literally working on a Star Wars movie of his own, so it’s not like the potential isn’t there. However, when asked if the MCU and the galaxy far, far away might collide, the usually secretive Feige didn’t hesitate to shoot the idea down. Via Yahoo!:

“If you’d ask me if anything we’re talking about right now was in the realm of possibility 20 years ago, I would’ve said, ‘I don’t think so,’” Feige tells us during a recent interview promoting yet another one of his MCU coups, the Disney+ TV spinoff WandaVision.

But wait for the BUT.

“But I really don’t think so,” he quickly adds. “I don’t think there’s any reason for it.”

Naturally, Feige even entertaining the question surfaced on Twitter, where people couldn’t help but recall Patton Oswalt’s hilariously infamous filibuster scene on Parks and Recreation. Te spent eight full minutes riffing on an idea for a massive Marvel/Star Wars film saga. (In a prescient move, Oswalt predicted that Disney would get the rights back to the X-Men half a decade before it happened.) As a prolific Twitter user and Marvel junkie, it didn’t take long for Oswalt to see the Feige news, and he offered the only response he could: “Eh, I tried.”

On an interesting note, while fielding the MCU crossover question, Feige actually cited Oswalt’s epic rant during the Yahoo! interview and said, “That is probably as close as we’ll ever get.”

You can watch the full Parks and Recreation scene below:

(Via Patton Oswalt on Twitter, Yahoo)