Reading Kevin Lewis’s first-hand account of being a COVID patient in the ICU on a ventilator is a harrowing experience. And with all due respect to his new film, the Nicolas Cage thriller Willy’s Wonderland, his film can’t come close to the terror Lewis experienced himself. As Lewis tells it, it was his publicist who suggested Lewis go public about what had happened. That maybe his story could help others experiencing something similar, or as a warning to still remain diligent and safe. Way down the list, though, it’s certainly a unique situation to be a director who came to the brink of death, only to recover just in time for the release of your breakout movie. (I’ve been doing this a long time and, yes, this is a new one.)
In Willy’s Wonderland, Nicolas Cage plays the Janitor, a character who doesn’t speak for the entirety of the film, who takes a job as a local clean-up guy at a local kids pizza parlor to pay off some auto repair charges. But it turns out the Chuck E. Cheese-type animatronic characters are possessed by demons. Again, this film is, finally, Lewis’s big break as the director and almost wasn’t around to see it.
How are you doing?
I’m alive, buddy. I’m alive.
Yeah, that question wasn’t politeness.
I love it. I’m getting better and stronger every day. My wife is a nurse, so that’s really great. She really keeps me on track and I’m here, pal. I’m talking to you and I’m very happy.
Your publicist was pretty worried.
He’s amazing. You know, he said something really chilling to me. When I got out of the hospital he’s like, “You know, I was going to write an email and tell all the industry about you,” basically, if I didn’t make it. And he said, “I’m glad I didn’t have to write that email.”
You know I came home and I just, man, I wasn’t even home 24 hours and I just sat down and I wrote this piece. So the article got out there and it’s just, it’s been great. And if I can inspire people? And I don’t want to take away from Willy, because Willy is like the exact opposite, right? It’s a fun, leave your brain at the door movie. You know, it’s just a gonzo crazy movie. And I was like, “God, the director gets COVID and depressed.” But then I was talking to some friends and they’re like, “I think you should totally do that.” And like I said, when I got home, I just wrote that piece. It just poured out of me. Probably I wrote it like 15, 20 minutes. Just, bam.
Have you got any blowback from the “hoax” crowd?
Oh, it’s crazy. It’s crazy. I would talk to the nurses and doctors and they’d say the same thing. They’re like, “We’d like to drag these people in here and have them see.” But you can’t go in when it’s COVID. So I’m in the ICU, my wife and kids can’t even come visit me. Nobody can come. So it’s just, you’re isolated there, right? And so they said the same thing. My roommate was Ronald, he’s like 80 years old. He’s out of it, he had a feeding tube and I was hearing the FaceTime calls with his kids and the grandkids, and then his sister saying, “You’re the best brother.” And I was hearing the goodbyes. I was telling him to fight. He can’t even hear me, he’s out of it. I’m telling him to fight. I’m fighting. And then I get the good news from the doc a week later, and I feel guilty for Ronald because I don’t think he’s going to make it. And I know he’s older than me and all that, but then you do feel guilty because I do feel for people. And then getting wheeled out and seeing the other people in the ICU. And the nurse, when he said he can count on two hands the people in the ICU who make it. And when you hear that and they’re talking about you and you can’t really do anything, it’s really the most vulnerable spot you’ve ever been in, you know? But I’m here and I’m talking to you. And the movie’s doing well. The audience is really responding to it. Critics, some critics are great. Some critics…
Well, you even called it a leave your brain at the door, gonzo movie. There’s always going to be a split with that type of movie.
Oh, totally. You know what’s cool? In the hospital I was showing the trailer to everybody and even doctors and nurses from other floors were coming in to see the trailer. And what was cool, too, was people already were planning to see the movie. I’m getting my IVs in and they’re asking about how was it working with Nic.
Yeah, I bet you got asked that a lot.
My son was turning 16 on that Thursday, and then Friday the movie was coming out. I said, Doc, I got to be home, man. That’s the goal. Get me out of here. That really kept me going, too. In the nights thinking about Nic beating the tar out of Willy, and just how we shot it and the images of the Janitor with my head cranked at a 90-degree angle with that tube up your mouth and nostrils. And I’ll tell you when you can’t breathe, it’s a scary, scary thing.
When did you know things weren’t right?
So, two days before I went into the hospital I had like four interviews and I did a couple of podcasts. And I was coughing and coughing and coughing. And so I was guzzling this honey tea and popping lozenges. But I was spent, I was exhausted. Then I did this phone interview and same kind of thing. I didn’t cough. And I talked a lot about COVID and it was, I don’t know, subconscious because I was feeling sick before. And the thing is, Mike, I didn’t know that COVID was killing me at that time.
I see your point about talking about this and the movie. Because if this were like on the radio or something, you hear that story, then, “Well, go see Willy’s Wonderland. A great time at the movies!”
[Laughs] I know. And I didn’t want that to take away from Willy’s. I want everyone to have a good time. But my publicist was like, I really think you should talk about it. And he’s the maestro. When he says something to me, I’m listening. This is my first real PR.
This is a very unique situation. Most directors don’t fight death off to come back just in time for their movie to come out.
I know. Isn’t that weird?
It’s very weird.
I know.
Nic Cage doesn’t talk in this movie. Was there ever a thought to let have him say something clever at the very end or not?
Well, in the original script there was. He says one line. And my whole thing was, he’s not speaking this whole movie that one line has to really be impactful, right? And it has to be something iconic and worked really hard on that. But then when I talked to Nic he said to me, “The Janitor speaks only when he needs to and he doesn’t need to.” And I was like, I agree. So no lines.
You know, in retrospect he could have looked at the camera and just said, “Wear a mask,” and then credits.
[Laughs] Well, he does wash his hands.
You mentioned earlier the critics who didn’t like it. Do you even care? Like how can you care?
It’s funny you say that because I remember on one of my movies, somebody wanted to hit me with a car because they hated it so much. So I’ve had my fair share of bad reviews. But no, I don’t care. I care that the audience likes it.
Well, you almost died. I feel once you go through something like that review, it doesn’t sting quite as much as a ventilator.
No, I agree. I mean, you know what’s funny, it does put things in perspective because I’ve worked in this industry for a long time and I’ve had my share of big battles and I’ve had my share of little wins. But I’ve been so close to the brass ring on so many movies of getting them financed or greenlit or whatever with some pretty big talent and all that … and it never happened. And finally, I get this movie and it’s the biggest budget I’ve worked with. And then, like you said, I go get COVID and go into the hospital and it’s just all out the window. So, yeah, I mean, I’m feeling better and I’m here. I’m alive and it’s great. And I love talking to you.
‘Willy’s Wonderland’ is available to stream via Amazon Prime, iTunes, and other VOD platforms. You can contact Mike Ryan directly on Twitter.
(Spoilers from Marvel Studios and Disney+’s WandaVision will be found below.)
After last week’s cryptic and surprisingly dark Yo-Magic commercial in Episode 6 (We still don’t even know what it means!), the newest WandaVision “commercial” for Nexus anti-depressant pills is not only jarringly straight-forward, but perhaps the biggest Easter Egg yet. Following in the pattern of the show’s previous commercials, the Nexus spot matches the time period, which in this case is the present day thanks to Episode 7’s Modern Family aesthetic. More notably, the ad ties directly into the events of the episode as the show opens with Wanda needing a mental health day as she grapples with expanding the Hex the night before and literally losing her grip on the reality she’s created as objects around her zip in and out of different time periods.
While the Nexus ad mimics modern day pharmaceutical commercials, it includes telling clues about Wanda’s current predicament by dropping lines like, “A unique anti-depressant that works to anchor you back to your reality. Or the reality of your choice,” along with an interesting set of side effects: “feeling your feelings, confronting your truth, seizing your destiny, and possible more depression.” As for the tagline, let’s just say subtlety went out the window: “Nexus: Because the world doesn’t revolve around you. Or does it?” More importantly, this is the first time we’ve actually seen Wanda use one of the products from the WandaVision commercials.
But the biggest revelation in the Nexus commercial is its name. In the Marvel comics, Wanda has been established as a Nexus Being, which are individuals who have “the ability to affect probability and thus the future, thereby altering the flow of the Universal Time Stream” and act as a “keystone” to — wait for it — the Multiverse. In other words, as we’ve seen in the show, Wanda has the power to change reality, and it’s clearly stronger than even she realizes, which may be causing her to pull in people from other realities. For example, her brother Pietro who somehow looks like Evan Peters from the X-Men movies, if that’s who he even is. (There’s also the pretty significant fact that Wanda will play a central role in Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. It’s all right there in the name.)
On a final note, as Disney+ gets ready to drop more Marvel shows, it’s probably not a fluke that Nexus Beings are often regulated by the Time Variance Authority, who will be giving Loki trouble when his series arrives. If there’s one thing the MCU knows how to do, it’s plant seeds for future stories, and all this Nexus talk is a pretty big one.
Whiskey purists will likely try and demean you if you drink anything on the rocks or with a little water. They want you to sip it straight, unchilled. That’s patently ridiculous. Yes, some whiskeys are crafted to be taken neat. But even the super svelte whiskeys out there will likely bloom in the glass with a few drops of water or a single rock.
Moreover, a good bourbon on ice can actually lead to a whole new set of flavors. Which is some cool chemistry, when you think about it.
What happens is twofold. One, the bourbon materially changes when you add water. Bourbon doesn’t come out of the barrel at 40 or 50 percent ABVs. Blenders add water to find the proof and flavor profile they’re looking for. So when you add more water, you’re proofing the whiskey down even further. The water isn’t adding flavors — it’s just allowing more of the chemical compounds that are already present in the dram to bloom or reveal themselves (while possibly muting others).
Next, you have the cooling effect of ice. Which effects you, not the whiskey. Our senses of taste and smell tend to mute flavors of things that are very hot or very cold. So as the whiskey cools, we’re going to taste less of what’s in there while, at the same time, fixating on certian notes — because our senses have to find something to… sense. In some cases, those notes could be things you didn’t even notice in the room temperature dram, simply because they were hidden by something sweet or woody or anything really, because, as mentioned above, adding water lets other chemical compounds (flavors) come to the surface.
All this to say, bourbon whiskey on the rocks is different. That’s not to say better or worse, we’re not here to be rigid. As always, “you do you.”
The ten bourbon whiskeys below are drams we like to drink with a little ice. While a fair few of these bottles are cask-strength expressions and very hot to begin with, that’s not the only criteria for choosing them. It really just comes down to which expressions we believe benefit from a rock or two.
This expression is all about finding the best barrels in the Heaven Hill warehouses and letting that whiskey shine on its own. These are released three times a year (we’re tasting the January 2021 release below) and have been winning award after award. The whiskey in the bottle is generally at least 12 years old and bottled with no cutting down to proof or filtration whatsoever.
Tasting Notes:
There’s a real throughline of sunny berry brambles (blueberry, raspberry, and blackberry) next to orange oils and a touch of oakiness on the nose. That fruit and oak will carry through on the palate as hints of buttery toffee, rich vanilla, and peppery spice mingle on the tongue and set your lips abuzz. The end tends to be slow and velvety with the spice, fruit, oak, and vanilla all blending nicely until the last drop.
On The Rocks:
This is really high-proof whiskey that’s not necessarily hot but will certainly feel very bold to the uninitiated. The taste of this one on the rocks will really zero in on the vanilla and berry with a pure silken texture. The oakiness will get a little mustier (think a root cellar must) and the sip tends to get a little more buttery while holding onto the sweeter edges.
This is a complex whiskey from one of the country’s best blenderies. Barrell sources a ten-year-old Indiana whiskey that was finished in Dunn Vineyards Cabernet barrels and marries that juice to eleven-year-old Tennessee bourbon that was finished in both blackstrap rum casks and port pipes. That blend is then bottled as is.
Tasting Notes:
You’re greeted with the port notes of dried raisins and plums that lead towards a touch of licorice next to a really rummy sweetness. There’s a sense of spicy stewed cherries (think clove and anise) that supports a touch of charred marshmallow with a bit of soft oak. The end holds onto the fruit and sweeter notes while going all-in on the warmness of the ABVs with a black pepper spiciness and long yet subtle tobacco buzz.
On The Rocks:
On ice, you’re going to get a laser focus on the dark bark spices with an almost woody bitterness. The tobacco gets both spicy and chewy and marries that cherry, creating a very cherry tobacco vibe. What’s extraordinary is how rounded this sip gets. It’s like velvet in a glass but doesn’t lose any depth of character (though that character definitely shifts from sweeter to spicier).
This barrel-proof expression from Buffalo Trace is one of their most-beloved bottles. The juice spends around ten years maturing and is made from the same (very low rye) mash bill as their entry-point bottle, Buffalo Trace Bourbon. The whiskey then goes into the bottles from hand-selected barrels that hit just the right mark without any proofing or filtration.
Tasting Notes:
There’s a clear sense of sweetness next to spice from the nose to the finish. There’s a sticky treacle syrup loaded with vanilla, walnuts, and pecans with a light dusting of Christmas spices leading towards a very ripe red cherry and a good dose of old oak. The finish is very long and hints at spicy cherry tobacco, oak, and more of those nuts, vanilla, and syrup.
On The Rocks:
This really dials into an old-school pecan pie with a buttery AF crust with the addition of ice. The cherry sticks around but it becomes more like a dark chocolate-covered cherry than a fresh one. The spices tone down a tad as the whole sip becomes just … soft and slightly bitter.
Wilderness Trail Small Batch Bottled-in-Bond Bourbon
This expression from Wilderness Trail is a hell of a dram on its own. The juice in the bottle is a high rye bourbon (64 percent corn, 24 percent rye, and 12 percent malted barley). The grains are all locally sourced from around Kentucky. The whiskey is then small-batched from no more than 12 barrels at a time. It’s then proofed down to bottled-in-bond 100 proof with that famously soft Kentucky limestone water and bottled.
Tasting Notes:
There’s a sense of grade A maple syrup spiked with orange rinds and a touch of clove on the nose. The palate holds onto those notes, while adding a hint of worn leather next to cherrywood and hints of wet brown sugar, white pepper, and a mild tobacco chewiness. The end is just the right length and holds onto the pepperiness and tobacco as it leaves you buzzing.
On The Rocks:
Interestingly, more pepper pops with ice. It’s not “spicy” per se, but holds a clear black and white pepper vibe. It also leans more into orange rinds but more towards the bitter pith of those peels. Overall, this dram becomes sharper and very exacting.
Hailing from the Jim Beam stills and warehouses, this “Old” whiskey is a fan favorite. The whiskey is another high rye mash bill (63 percent corn, 27 percent rye, and ten percent malted barley). The juice is then matured until it’s just right. The barrels are blended, the whiskey is just touched with water to bring the proof down, and it’s bottled.
Tasting Notes:
Vanilla tobacco meets hints of rye spiciness with a dose of caramel and old oak on the nose. The palate holds onto that rye spice as notes of cherry and oak dominate the vanilla and toffee sweetness. The end returns to the spice with a chewy tobacco edge that lingers for a short time but leaves you wanting more.
Bottom Line:
This is a classic “on the rocks” whiskey (or mixer). The cold and ice really bring about a smoothness that’s just not there in the room temp dram while holding onto that chewy vanilla nature, a touch of cherry, and mild spice.
This is a classic bourbon from a classic distillery. Rare Breed is comprised of hand-selected barrels that hit just the right marks, according to master distillers Jimmy and Eddie Russell. The barrels are then married and bottled as is, allowing the beauty of the barrel to shine through in every sip.
Tasting Notes:
This really leans into the vanilla pudding, burnt sugars, Christmas spices, and tobacco chew but keeps it amazingly balanced through and through. The palate touches on notes of pine resin, fresh mint sprigs, and pine resin as the more classic vanilla and spice notes maintain a solid foundation. The end is long and satisfying, leaving you with a soft sense of that spicy tobacco, toffee, and that creamy vanilla.
On The Rocks:
Ice helps this lean into a full-on Christmas cake packed with dark spices, candied fruits, nuts, and an almost molasses maltiness. The pine resin turns a bit towards softer cedar with a slight touch of woody bitterness. The mouthfeel becomes pure silk and so damn welcoming.
This might be one of the most beloved (and still accessible) bottles from Buffalo Trace. This juice is made from their very low rye mash bill. The whiskey is then matured for at least ten years in various parts of the warehouse. The final mix comes down to barrels that hit just the right notes to make them “Eagle Rare.” Finally, this one is proofed down to a fairly low 90 proof.
Tasting Notes:
There’s a lot happening on the nose here, with worn leather mingling with dried orange, fresh sage, butter toffee, and cellared oak. The taste turns towards marzipan covered in dark chocolate with a touch of honey and a sprinkling of dark spices. The finish isn’t too long and touches back on that marzipan, toffee, and oak — while ending short and sweet.
On The Rocks:
That cellar oak really comes through with water with a mix of old wooden beams and rocky cellar walls. The nuttiness remains but becomes almost creamed with the toffee. A hint of dried florals pops in and ties back to the rose water in the marzipan.
This is really a f*cking great dram on the rocks and one of my personal go-to’s when I’m at a good whiskey bar.
This is classic nine-year-old Knob Creek from a single barrel. There’s no blending since each barrel is hand-selected for its exactness. There’s hardly any proofing either. The 120 proof means this is barely touched with water before it goes into the bottle.
Tasting Notes:
This is classic bourbon with a nose of caramel apples touched with a dusting of brown spices next to rich vanilla pods and a hint of that oak. The sip is pretty warm but is tempered by the almost cream soda vibes next to hints of pecan and soft oakiness. The end is long-ish and hits back on the brown spices, fruit, and vanilla the clearest while leaving you warmed to your soul.
On The Rocks:
This really benefits from a touch of water or ice. The spices dial into their woody, barky natures. The vanilla remains light but still well-rounded. The biggest change was a note of chocolate-covered cherries that arrived and clearly reminded you that you were drinking something very good from Jim Beam.
This is quickly becoming one of the most sought-after wheated bourbons on the market. The mash amps up the wheat with 68 percent corn supported by 20 percent wheat and 12 percent malted barley. The juice then spends six to eight years maturing in Heaven Hill’s vast warehouses. It’s then small-batch blended and bottled with zero fussing at barrel proof (we’re reviewing the January 2021 batch below).
Tasting Notes:
There’s a sense of light savory fruit, almost pumpkin, generously dusted in cinnamon sugar next to river water, Red Hots, and lush vanilla. The taste holds onto the vanilla and savory fruit as it creates an almost pecan waffle vibe with a little butter and maple syrup. That sweetness is cut as the sip veers into a light spicy/fruity tobacco chew on the slow-ish end that leads back to that mineral-rich river water.
On The Rocks:
With ice, cedar and cherry notes pop immediately. The tobacco and oak also heighten with a mouthfeel that leans toward the woodier aspects of cinnamon. The sip holds onto its boldness while still warming your senses through and through, leaving you with a little vanilla and cedar.
This is very much a go big or go home whiskey. The mash is centered on Texas blue corn. The juice is then aged under the intense Texas sun in the Balcones’ warehouse in Waco. Finally, the barrels are painstakingly selected to represent the spirit of that blue corn, small batched, and bottled as is.
Tasting Notes:
Imagine a dense cornbread dripping with butter and honey and a touch of savory lard in the crips crust and you’ll be on the right path on the nose. The palate comes in hot with touches of zest orange and Red Hots counterpointed by a sweet yet slight bitter Texas sweet tea and a touch of burnt marshmallow. The end touches back on that corn sweetness while bringing a white pepper powder and a whisper of nutmeg.
On The Rocks:
This is another “on the rocks” favorite. The corn really amps up into masa territory — becoming both sweeter and more savory or grainy. The cinnamon from the Red Hots really losses the candy aspect and gets intense and maybe a little bitter. Then as this mellows in the glass and water continues to proof it down, the bourbon takes on this minty fresh edge that bridges menthol tobacco and mint julep sweetness. It’s a wild and delicious ride.
Ever since her popularity exploded in 2018, Megan Thee Stallion’s love for anime has been a commonly known factoid endearing her to fans of both rap and Japanese cartoons alike. Recently, a new fan-favorite show reciprocated her love, giving Meg a big shout-out thanks to one voice actor’s off-the-cuff line change.
In the manga and show Jujutsu Kaisen, the main character Yuji Itadori describes his ideal woman in response to a rival’s question, saying he likes “tall girls with big butts… like Jennifer Lawrence.” Some fans took it upon themselves to change the subtitles in the show to read Megan Thee Stallion rather than Jennifer Lawrence, finding the description more apt to the rapper than the actress.
Then, one fan took things a step further, reaching out to the English voice actor who plays Itadori, Adam McArthur, wondering if he could change the line. McArthur took up the challenge, reading the line with the replacement in the character’s voice.
Naturally, fans went ballistic over the change, transforming the fun moment into a full-on barrage of memes, putting Megan’s poster on Itadori’s wall, and posting reactions ranging from shock to outright euphoria. One fan even reimagined the character as a Black person, redrawing his recognizable pink spikes into a Tobi Lou-ish afro.
— tal-yuh bhm | indefinite flop era (@ZUKOTHESTALLI0N) February 18, 2021
For her part, Megan has yet to respond… but she’ll undoubtedly see the meme, as fans have been tagging her in posts for the last two days. Given her fondness for anime, video games, and cosplay, she’ll probably be ecstatic.
Check out the anime shout-out above.
Megan Thee Stallion is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.
The Rundown is a weekly column that highlights some of the biggest, weirdest, and most notable events of the week in entertainment. The number of items could vary, as could the subject matter. It will not always make a ton of sense. Some items might not even be about entertainment, to be honest, or from this week. The important thing is that it’s Friday, and we are here to have some fun.
ITEM NUMBER ONE — Kenan is the greatest
Have you ever stopped for a second and thought about the longevity of Kenan Thompson? I mean, really. Think about it now if you haven’t. If you’re under, say, 40, Kenan has been a fixture of television and movies since he fired knuckle pucks at various European goalies in the sequel to The Mighty Ducks. If you’re under 30, he’s been a cast member on Saturday Night Live as long as you’ve been aware that a show called Saturday Night Live exists. He’s led television shows and movies and been a straight-up fixture in entertainment for so long that it’s easy to take him for granted. This is one of the many reasons it’s so great that he finally has his own television show.
He does have his own television show, just to be clear. It premiered this week and it’s called Kenan and the first episode was pretty solid, or at least as solid as the first episode of any comedy can be when it has to introduce a bunch of characters with different personalities and motivations and at least one of them, in this case Kenan himself, is raising two daughters by himself because his wife passed away at a young age. Comedies take a while to find their footing, even when they have less going on. Parks and Recreation didn’t get really good until it was a chunk of the way into its second season. Same with New Girl. And, anyway, none of that is even the point. The point is that I just like living in a world where Kenan Thompson gets a crack at leading man stardom. It’s time for that. It’s past time for that. It’s been past time for that.
Can you think of another comedic performer who has been so relentlessly consistent for as long as Kenan has? I’ve been cranking away on this question for the better part of a week and the best answer I’ve come up with is another longtime SNL castmember: Tim Meadows. Tim Meadows is also very good, as has been forever, and this is where I urge you to watch Walk Hard again, possibly as soon as tonight. But honestly, think of all the sketches Kenan has held together just by being a professional laugh-getter. Think about him as the host of a zillion fake game shows. Think about him playing the straight man in the “Black Jeopardy” sketches and stealing giggles out of little comments and reactions between the punch lines. Think, primarily, about “What’s Up With That?”
What a perfect running character that was. What a perfect sketch. You can tell it was a perfect sketch because it was almost exactly the same every time and it was still funny. Watch Kenan’s face when the music starts kicking in. Watch the little twinkle in his eyes that lets you know something is cooking behind them. This is a skill. It’s a real skill that a tiny number of people have in their toolbox. Going big is easy. Going small is harder. Kenan can do both.
And another thing: Go read or listen to any interview with anyone who has written for SNL in the past 15 years. Almost all of them will, at some point, circle around to how good Kenan is, what a stabilizing presence he is, or how they’ll just put a note in the script like “[Kenan reacts]” and let him make their idea work. Again, none of this is the big flashy stuff — the Bill Hader as Stefon, the Will Ferrell as Robert Goulet — that gets turned into a viral video or movie. It’s the stuff that makes everything else work, though. That’s what Kenan has been doing for most of your life. Making stuff you like work. It’s good to stop every now and then to really appreciate that. And it’s even better when the people who do that get a crack at doing something more.
I don’t know if Kenan will work. It is far too early in the process and far too many unknowns are still floating around the world to say with any confidence which way all of this will go. I just like that it’s happening, finally. Kenan Thompson deserves a moment. Let’s try to give it to him. He’s done so much for all of us.
ITEM NUMBER TWO — I’m not sure you can create a cooler television show on paper
AMAZON
The thing about a story like “Donald Glover and Phoebe Waller-Bridge will team up to make a television version of the 2005 film Mr. and Mrs. Smith” is that it sounds made-up. It doesn’t even sound real enough to be made-up, honestly. Like, if I made some nutso list titled Some Shows That Would Be Cool If They Existed, and I put “Donald Glover and Phoebe Waller-Bridge in a television version of the 2005 film Mr. and Mrs. Smith” on it, you would roll your eyes at me. You would! You’d be like “Okay Brian, I’ll accept the one where we reboot Matlock with Tracy Morgan, but this one is a bit much.” And yet, against odds so staggering that this hypothetical version of you wouldn’t even let me have fun with this idea, it’s real. It’s a real show. It’s coming to Amazon in 2021.
And that is… cool. It’s cool. Two of the smartest and funniest people in the industry, both of whom have created their own wildly inventive and acclaimed projects, are going to write and star in a show where they play a husband and wife who are spies. What’s cooler than that? I love when smart and funny people decide to work together even though they don’t have to. They really don’t, either. Both of them have the clout to get almost anyone on the phone and pitch them any idea they came up with over breakfast, but instead, they’re like “Hey, should we do our own take on that Pitt/Jolie movie that was airing on TBS the other night?” And then they did. I’m sorry, but that’s cool.
I do hear you, though. I hear you grumbling, saying things about how you wish they would use their power to keep creating new projects instead of getting sucked into the quicksand of remaking existing intellectual property. And my response to that grumbling is this: shut up! Just shut up! Donald Glover and Phoebe Waller-Bridge — the creators of Atlanta and Fleabag, the people who made Teddy Perkins and Hot Priest cultural icons — want to make a show where they play married spies. Isn’t that half the point of having this power, like how George Clooney and Steven Soderbergh woke up one day and decided to make Ocean’s Eleven with a bunch of their friends? I think it is. Good for them.
And guess what: This isn’t the only show Glover will make for Amazon. He just signed a 10-figure deal to work with the streaming network, and one of his first shows there sounds interesting as heck.
The Amazon deal, which has been in the works for weeks, will also see Glover exec produce other projects for the retail giant and streamer. Sources note one such project is already beginning to come together: a potential series called Hive, which is rumored to revolve around a Beyoncé-like figure and stem from writer Janine Nabers (Watchmen, Away). The project has already begun staffing a writers room, with sources noting Malia Obama is among those recruited to work on the series.
A lot of names in that paragraph, including Malia Obama, which is kind of hilarious because her parents rather famously signed a huge deal with Netflix a couple years ago. And don’t worry, Atlanta still has at least two seasons to go, and they’re being filmed together, soon. All good news here. Good vibes only.
ITEM NUMBER THREE — I still think it would be hilarious if the Cruella origin story was that a Dalmation killed her parents
This is the trailer for the upcoming movie Cruella, in which, apparently, Disney asks that age-old question “What if Cruella de Vil from 101 Dalmatians were a young rascal played by Emma Stone?” It’s one of those movies where you’re not exactly sure why it exists and you’re not exactly sure why the Cruella de Vil origin story is that she’s kind of Harley Quinn and you’re not exactly sure if the point of the whole thing is to make a fun antihero out of a lady who will go on to try to murder 100+ puppies.
But it’s also a movie that features two of our best Emmas — Stone and Thompson — in tremendous wigs and ball gowns, just giving it somewhere north of 100 percent, as a film like this basically requires. I don’t know. We probably don’t need origin stories for all of our most famous villains. We probably didn’t need this one. But also… it looks fun? I reserve the right to backtrack on this if the movie comes out and it stinks, but I also think, if we’re going to keep doing this stuff, we could do worse than this. Not exactly the type of ringing endorsement Disney can use as a pull-quote in the commercials, but I do like Emma Stone a lot, so consider the benefit of the doubt given here.
ITEM NUMBER FOUR — Is it weird that I’m, like, really, really happy for Jesse Plemons?
Big news for people like me who have been watching Jesse Plemons be awesome in movies and television shows for years and wondered when he’s going to get a real shot at a starring role in big movie directed by someone like, oh, let’s say Martin Scorsese: Jesse Plemons will play the lead in the upcoming star-studded film Killers of the Flower Moon, which will be directed by Martin Scorsese. It’s all happening, people.
The casting is a major coup for Plemons, who for years has anchored productions or stole scenes with his performances in supporting roles. And it coincides with him being wanted for lead roles not just by Scorsese, with whom he worked on 2019’s The Irishman, but also by Jordan Peele, who had offered him a major role in his latest thriller.
He had to pass on the Peele movie to take this role, which is a bummer for the dude I loved to hate very much on Breaking Bad as Todd, but is pretty wild when you consider the circumstances here.
Regardless, Plemons now finds himself in a role that was originally to have been played by DiCaprio before the Oscar winner segued to a secondary lead.
Plemons is out here landing roles that were at one point booked by Leonardo DiCaprio. That’s wild, buddy. I’m, like, really happy for him. Seriously. I am so happy for Jesse Plemons right now. I don’t even know him. I’ve just been a fan and I’ve enjoyed watching him absolutely own smaller roles in other projects and I think it’s awesome that this is happening for him. I kind of want to hug him. Is that weird? It might be a little weird. I’ll own it.
Also: When this news broke, my colleague Martin Rickman and I started sending each other dozens of Slack messages about how good Jesse Plemons is in the ensemble comedy Game Night. That’s why I put that video at the top of this section. And why I will probably watch Game Night again soon. It’s a good movie. Plemons is so creepy. You should watch it, too.
Annie Murphy… excuse me. Let me start that over. Emmy-winning Schitt’s Creek alum Annie Murphy, the woman who brought Alexis Rose to life and made her likable when she had no right to be for the first couple seasons at least, has a new show coming out. It’s called Kevin Can F Himself and it has a pretty funny concept and a new trailer, too, that kind of explains the concept, but here are some words about the concept anyway. From EW:
A general meeting at AMC became a pitch meeting once the network read the script, and all of the sudden Armstrong got the green light to make her first TV series, a show “about a woman who we all grew up thinking that we knew, the sitcom wife, and she is surrounded by these people who prop up her husband. She is the butt of most of the jokes and seemingly fine with it… But on our show, we follow her out of that sitcom world where there is no laugh track. Her dramatic life is full of grit and emotion that she’s not afforded in that sitcom.”
Hmm. Full of grit and emotion, you say? I wonder what exactly that means. Like, she’s not, to choose an example at random, doing cocaine in an alley or anything, right?
Annie Murphy calls KEVIN CAN F HIMSELF is a “complete 180” from SCHITT’S CREEK, noting she gets to all sorts of things angrily, including “cocaine in an alley.” She also loves it comes from a female creator and there’s a lot of women on set. #TCA21
I will say this as someone who very much enjoys making and/or posting GIFs of beloved television figures doing cocaine in hilarious settings, and yes, this is where I pause the sentence with an ellipsis to post the GIF of Judith Light doing cocaine at the rodeo on the short-lived TNT Dallas continuation series…
TNT
… I am intrigued by the ambitious television comedy in which Emmy-winning Schitt’s Creek Annie Murphy alum breaks bad and does street drugs in an alley.
This is a video of Adam Sandler whacking a golf ball with the Happy Gilmore swing. He appears to have filmed it himself, for no great reason, and posted it to social media. It makes me very happy. Adam Sandler comes across like the most well-adjusted dude in Hollywood. Are all his movies great? Eh, your mileage may vary. But even when they’re bad, he uses them as an excuse to take his buddies to Hawaii on the dime of some giant soulless corporations. Everyone he works with loves him. He makes one legitimately good movie every 7-10 years to remind everyone he can, and then when he’s not working he launches golf balls into the cosmos by doing a ridiculous swing made famous by a character he created 25 years ago. In many ways, it’s all any of us can really ask for.
The complete 180 I’ve done on Sandler and Guy Fieri in the last five years probably says more about me getting older than anything else, but seriously. There’s value in just being a good dude. That’s a good lesson to learn.
READER MAIL
If you have questions about television, movies, food, local news, weather, or whatever you want, shoot them to me on Twitter or at [email protected] (put “RUNDOWN” in the subject line). I am the first writer to ever answer reader mail in a column. Do not look up this last part.
From Kari:
I’m currently in my last semester of law school, and I occasionally come across names in my casebooks that I think would delight you. You may already be familiar with them given your law degree, but just this week I learned about “C. Martin Lawyer III” in Remedies and “Spicer Breeden” in Wills. Being able to chuckle at these certainly made the endless reading much more endurable.
I also have a question. I recently watched Philadelphia for the first time (is this the part where I say “go birds”? I don’t follow sports except for Gritty, who is a national treasure), and I loved Denzel’s portrayal of a plaintiff’s lawyer. It made me think of who hasn’t played a lawyer yet and who might be fantastic at it. If you could pick any actor or actress to play the classic clever, shouty, objection-drawing counselor, who would you pick? Would your picks change for a criminal versus a civil case? Plaintiff/prosecutor versus defense counsel? Pedro Pascal and Natasha Lyonne came to mind for me, but I’m sure you have some even better ideas.
Well, first things first: Congratulations on being in the home stretch of law school. That sucker is stressful even with the fun names. I still wake up sometimes in half a panic after a dream where I missed most of a semester of a class and have to show up for a final. My favorite memory was the time my criminal law professor led us in this deep philosophical discussion about who a society chooses to punish and why they do, and at one point he asked “What is a duty?” and I chuckled to myself and muttered “dooty.” You will be a much better lawyer than I would have been.
To answer your question: I, uh, don’t think I can beat Pedro Pascal and Natasha Lyonne thundering away at each other in a trial. Especially considering I already burned off my “Tracy Morgan is Matlock now” idea earlier in this column. Natasha Lyonne would be such a good lawyer in a show or movie. I just pictured her approaching the bench and being like “Uh, Your Honor, I think I’m gonna need a recess” as a fire breaks out in the gallery and started laughing. Yes, she is smoking a cigarette and wearing a trench coat. God, now I want to watch this. Someone make it. I don’t care who. Preferably Natasha Lyonne, though.
Two men who ran out of fuel as they tried to bring £200,000 worth of cocaine into the UK on a jet ski have been jailed.
I don’t know what they’re teaching people in journalism school these days but if there isn’t an entire course built around this opening sentence by next fall at the latest, I think it’s safe to assume the entire endeavor is a waste of time and money.
The men, both from Skelmersdale in Lancashire, took their jet ski from the Lowestoft area of Suffolk to a pick up point in the Netherlands.
The pair were carrying the cocaine in a backpack when they approached a survey vessel and “asked the crew for some fuel” on their return journey, Ipswich Crown Court heard.
Additional notes that I think are important:
One of the two men is a boxer who did this after a fight fell through and he lost out on a significant payday
The other one is an out of work plumber
This is a Guy Ritchie movie
Moving on.
Mr Vass said helicopter crew members alerted police after becoming suspicious of the men’s behaviour and they were arrested on arrival.
The prosecution lawyer said that Brogan told officers he had been “fishing by jet ski but ran into difficulty when they ran out of fuel”.
I don’t want to go around questioning the decision-making of two dudes who tried to smuggle cocaine across an icy sea on jet skis, but “we were just out here fishing by jet ski” might be the most suspicious-sounding thing I’ve ever heard. It’s not a good alibi. It’s kind of the reverse of a good alibi, in that if someone actually was planning to go fishing by jet ski and told me they were going to do it, I would probably just go ahead and assume they were attempting to smuggle cocaine. Think this through, gentlemen. Or, uh, don’t. It’s much funnier this way.
Marilyn Manson’s career woes piled up after Evan Rachel Wood’s allegations (of abuse and grooming), and it now appears that he could have serious legal woes coming, too. All of this has happened in a relatively short amount of time (only a few weeks) following Wood’s naming of Manson as her alleged abuser, which she had previously discussed on a more anonymous basis for years while advocating for sexual assault and domestic violence survivors.
In the aftermath of Wood coming forward, several other women (including Game Of Thrones‘ Esme Bianco) have accused the singer of abusive treatment as well. And it’s important to note that Wood made her statement after testimony in front of Congress and California lawmakers to help lengthen the statute of limitations for crimes involving domestic violence. One of those lawmakers, Susan Rubio, has asked the FBI to investigate Manson for numerous allegations against him. There’s no update there as of yet, but the L.A. Sheriff’s Department is on its own case against the singer. Via THR, the investigation revolves around claims from at least four women including Wood:
The abuse allegations made about Marilyn Manson are being investigated by the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department, The Hollywood Reporter has confirmed.
“The Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department, Special Victims Bureau is investigating allegation(s) of domestic violence involving Mr. Brian Warner, also known as ‘Marilyn Manson,’ who works in the music industry,” it said in a statement. “The incidents occurred between 2009 and 2011 when Mr. Warner lived in the city of West Hollywood.”
The allegations against Manson made by Wood have, thus far, led his his agency (CAA) and his record label to drop him. Two TV shows (AMC’s Creepshow anthology series and Starz’s ongoing American Gods) also chose to follow suit by nixing his appearances this season. Additionally, former collaborator Trent Reznor has issued his own statement of condemnation against the singer.
For his part, Manson followed Wood’s allegations with a statement of his own to deny wrongdoing. “Obviously, my art and my life have long been magnets for controversy, but these recent claims about me are horrible distortions of reality,” he wrote. “My intimate relationships have always been entirely consensual with like-minded partners. Regardless of how — and why — others are now choosing to misrepresent the past, that is the truth.”
It’s 2021. Texas is a giant icicle. Republican Senators are vacationing in Mexico during a global pandemic. And somehow, people are more willing to believe insane conspiracy theories about why this is all happening instead of, you know, science.
By people, we mean QAnon cult members.
Vice is reporting that another major influencer within the group known as InevatibleET has posited a new excuse for why one of the country’s most southern states is buried under a blanket of snow and why its residents are freezing to death while Republican leaders sip Pina Coladas down in Cancun. In summary: It’s all Biden’s fault.
Followers are now jumping on this new theory that blames all of Texas’ woes on the president who, according to them, made it possible for China to hack the U.S. power grid through his Executive Order canceling work on the controversial Keystone Pipeline. According to QAnon believers, reversing Trump’s decision on the pipeline made it possible for China to access controls to our energy grid and they’re responsible for the rolling blackouts in the state, not, you know, subfreezing temperatures and archaic fuel sources.
If you’re wondering who brought Texas low, it’s Joe Biden who did it by selling Texas out to the ChiComs. This seems like something Q should have prevented by having Trump win re-election, but as QAnon says “It had to be this way” pic.twitter.com/SMuC7d1GG4
The whole thing is lacking in necessary brain cells to make the theory work, especially since Texas operates on its own separate power grid, not one of the two federally-controlled grids that pretty much every other state uses, but at least it’s not as ridiculous as the QAnon theories that claim the snow blanketing the state isn’t even real.
Somewhere at the cross section of QAnon/garden variety conspiracy theorists is this obsession with the snow in Texas – particularly the theory that it is not organic in origin, but man-made. The chief concern here is that the snow apparently “doesn’t melt”. I’M SO TIRED pic.twitter.com/8iGHCYK9V5
We get why reality would be horrifying enough to concoct explanations that borrow from some of the worst plotlines of a Tom Cruise action film but please, give the people suffering in Texas a break and just log off for a while guys.
Over the years, Killer Mike has become just as well known for his activism and entrepreneurship as he has for his rapping. Last night, he appeared on TNT’s The Arena to share some of his hard-won wisdom with hosts Cari Champion and Kyle Korver and wound up sharing a powerful semi-sermon (Cari’s words) on financial literacy and economic empowerment — concepts that can be just as impactful for athletes as they can for musicians, considering both industries can make young Black people overnight millionaires.
After insisting that Champion just call him “Michael” rather than Killer Mike, the rapper explained how there’s a much smaller chance for rappers to get a lot of money and how his grounded experience working at Autozone for $200 taught him “the power of a dollar” — even though he did make some youthful mistakes along the way. Mostly, though, he credits his wife for having a plan for the two to be able to retire at 50 years old. “We should be teaching financial literacy in high school,” he asserts. “I haven’t spoken a lick of French since I graduated, although being in Paris is fun. I definitely had to learn to use my dollar. I think if we’re teaching 14, 15, 16-year-olds that, we’ll be doing better.”
Mike also discusses his show Trigger Warning on Netflix and his Greenwood Bank initiatives, as well as running down his family history.
The Brooklyn Nets took down the Los Angeles Lakers in Staples Center on Thursday night, 109-98. The game didn’t have quite as much buzz about it as it would under normal circumstances due to some of the injuries both teams are working through — Kevin Durant was sidelined, as were Anthony Davis and Dennis Schröder.
There was still more than enough star power, but this matchup has the potential to be the most star-studded in basketball, with numerous All-Stars across both teams when fully healthy. The good news, relatively speaking, is that one person who played in the game looked down the road and anticipates that these two teams might have something bigger than a one-off tilt on a Thursday night in store.
Kyrie Irving spoke to the media after the game and made a prediction: When the Lakers get fully healthy, these two teams are going to run into one another, much to the delight of fans.
“We’ll see them down the line again. … I know everybody wants that.”
Kyrie Irving on facing a fully healthy Lakers team
“We’ll see them down the line again, and we look forward to it, with a whole entire healthy Lakers team,” Irving said. “That’s what we really wanted, I know everybody wants that. I’m looking forward to the challenge and seeing them down the line.”
It is certainly plausible that Irving is referencing the fact that the two teams have only played once this year and L.A. still has to travel to Brooklyn in the regular season during the second half of the year, but then again, a potential showdown between the Lakers and the Nets in the NBA Finals would be awfully tantalizing for basketball fans. At the very least, it probably wouldn’t be as one-sided as the last time the two teams faced off with the Larry O’Brien Trophy on the line.
Lord Huron last surfaced in 2018 with the album Vide Noir, and there’s no official word of a forthcoming follow-up yet. Rather, over the past month or so, the group has been focusing on Alive From The Whispering Pines, a series of ticketed livestream performances. They’ve done two of these shows so far, and during them, they’ve premiered some new material. Now, they’re back with a studio version of a new song, “Not Dead Yet.”
On the driving, mid-tempo single, Ben Schneider seems to sing from the point of view of somebody in the depths of some serious personal issues, with lyrics like, “All messed up with nowhere to go / I stare at myself in the mirror alone / It’s hard to make friends when you’re half in the grave / But I ain’t dead yet.” He adds on the hook, “You got holes in your clothes / Booze on your breath / You look like hell / And you smell like death.”
While no new album has been announced yet, Lord Huron has kept a regular release schedule by dropping a new record every three years, in 2012, 2015, and 2018. So, if the band continues to follow that math, there should be a new record in 2021.
Listen to “Not Dead Yet” above and revisit our 2018 interview with Schneider here.
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bhm | indefinite flop era (@ZUKOTHESTALLI0N) 
