Texas Governor Greg Abbott, whose state is still coping with a power fiasco, made the absolutely stunning decision this week to end Texas’ mask mandate and reopen businesses at 100% capacity. This caused a massive uproar against Abbott’s move, but it didn’t help at all when Keith Olbermann tweeted that vaccinations would now be “wasted” on Texans, and to make matters even more perplexing, filmmaker Michael Moore jumped on that same bandwagon.
Moore lashed out at Texas — while seemingly arguing that residents should suffer (even more than they already are) for the terrible decisions of its leaders — tweeted his thoughts. “Texas – we hear you. You didn’t want to be part of our electrical grid,” he wrote. “And now you’ve removed your mask mandate & are allowing large crowds to gather. We hear you! COVID is a hoax! So u don’t need our precious vaccine. We’ll send it to ppl who are saving lives by wearing masks.”
Texas – we hear you. You didn’t want to be part of our electrical grid. And now you’ve removed your mask mandate & are allowing large crowds to gather. We hear you! COVID is a hoax! So u don’t need our precious vaccine. We’ll send it to ppl who are saving lives by wearing masks.
Cruz responded in a smart-alecky way, of course. “Ok. No gasoline for you,” he wrote. “(That includes jet fuel.) And what do you think film is made of?”
Ok. No gasoline for you. (That includes jet fuel.)
This is a rough situation to behold. Cruz isn’t exactly saying anything of value here, but (in a rare move for him) he’s not making the situation any worse with his remark. Whereas Moore appears to be advocating for withholding a life-saving vaccine from all Texans, including those who don’t support Abbott’s decision and/or did not vote for the guy. Make no mistake, however, Cruz is still the U.S. senator who flew to sunny Cancun while much of the state that he represents was literally freezing without power. There are no winners here.
With spring almost here and the pandemic winding down, we can’t help but get excited by the hazy, New England-style IPAs, milkshake IPAs, and other juicy beers bursting with tropical fruit and citrus hop flavors starting to roll out or demanding more shelf space. Below, you’ll find ten of our favorite beers defined specifically by their juiciness.
With a name like “Juice Bomb,” you have a pretty good idea of what you’re about to get into. This 6.5% New England-style IPA is bursting with citrus and tropical fruit flavors. It’s supremely juicy and sweet, with very little hop bitterness.
Tasting Notes:
On the nose, you’ll find fragrances of tangerine, lime, and guava. The first sip is bursting with juicy grapefruit, mango, and orange juice. It’s so sweet and juicy you might be surprised at its high-ABV.
Bottom Line:
This is not a beer for West Coast IPA fans. It’s sweet, juicy, (have I mentioned that yet?), and has almost no bitter notes. It tastes more like a glass of fresh-squeezed orange juice than a classic IPA.
While this list is definitely dominated by IPAs, this pale ale made with two-row barley, white wheat, and Crystal 15 malt, as well as Citra and Columbus hops is fresh, crisp, and filled with tropical fruit and bright citrus flavors.
Tasting Notes:
Take a whiff and you’ll immediately be struck by the tangy, crisp aromas of fresh tangerine, lime, and orange zest. On the sip you’ll find flavors of juicy peach, sweet pineapple, mouth-watering orange, and fresh mango. It all finished with a dry, subtly bitter ending.
Bottom Line:
This is Trillium’s flagship beer (and named for its location) for a reason. It’s light, refreshing, and bursting with juiciness.
Another beer named perfectly. Juicy Bits is an homage to the “juicy bits” at the bottom of orange juice with pulp. Brewed with El Dorado, Citra, and Mosaic hops, it’s heavy on the tropical fruit and citrus flavors.
Tasting Notes:
On the nose, you’ll find the aromas of a fresh carton of orange juice, sweet pineapple, and subtle, piney hops. The first sip is brimming with mango, guava, nectarine, and grapefruit juice. The last sip is filled with citrus juice, tropical fruit, and just a hint of hope presence.
Bottom Line:
Buy this one and Juice Bomb and have a real juice off. The juiciest beer wins. What they win, we don’t know. But contests are fun.
Grimm Ales Lumen is everything great about the new generation of hazy juice bombs. The brewery even refers to it as a “new school IPA.” It’s a perfect combination of sweetness and bitterness with El Dorado, Citra, Equinox, and Mosiac hops.
Tasting Notes:
Take a whiff and you’ll think you’re smelling fresh pineapple juice along with a subtle hint of piney hops. The first sip is filled with juicy peach, bright tangerine, fresh grapefruit, and floral, resinous hops to round it all out perfectly.
Bottom Line:
While this is hazy and juicy, it’s also a great example of a beer that captures the perfect balance between sweet and bitter.
Fresh pressed or squeezed juice is supposed to be enjoyed fresh, so is Lawson’s Finest Sip of Sunshine. This beloved brew is referred to as a “tropical vacation in a glass” because of its trifecta of floral, citrus, and tropical fruit flavors.
Tasting Notes:
Take a moment to give this a good sniff before you take a sip and you’ll be struck by the sharp lemon zest, fresh grapefruit, and tangerine flavors. On the palate, it will transport you to a world of floral, piney hops, juicy peaches, and ripe oranges. It all ends with a final resinous, bitter kick.
Bottom Line:
This IPA might be made in New England, but it’s more of a classic IPA than the hazy offerings from some other breweries.
The recipe for this 8.5% imperial IPA is pretty simple and straightforward. It’s double dry-hopped (hence the DDH in the title) with single-hop: the citrus and pine-flavored Citra. The double dry-hopping created a crisp, fresh, juicy flavor that doesn’t require any other hops to complete it.
Tasting Notes:
This brew pours a hazy, orange color. From the moment it hits the glass, your senses will fill with the scents of mango, lemon, line, and tangerine. On the sip, you’ll be whisked away to a world of ripe grapefruit, lemon tart, orange peels, and a clean, bitter finish.
Bottom Line:
If you’re a fan of juicy, dry-hopped beers, you can’t do much better than this offering from Other Half. It ticks all the boxes.
You might know Bissell as a vacuum cleaner brand, but this brewery has nothing to do with sucking up dog fur from your shag carpet. The Maine-based brewery makes this double IPA with Amarilla, Citra, Sultana, and Ekuanot hops — all of which combine for a super-fruity punch.
Tasting Notes:
On the nose, you’ll get fresh-squeezed orange juice, lemon zest, and tropical fruit aromas. On the palate, expect notes of piney hops, ripe guava, bright tangerine, and a lingering, pleasing sweetness from the use of honey malt and flaked oats.
Bottom Line:
This is a big, bold Maine-centric New England-style IPA. It’s the perfect companion to an evening reading your favorite Stephen King novel.
Another beer that makes it obvious that New England has the juicy market cornered, Julius from Treehouse is an OG juice bomb. This 6.8% IPA is Massachusetts’ Brewery’s flagship beer because of its perfect hop-to-malt ratio. It’s juicy, sweet, and filled with citrus and just the right amount of hops.
Tasting Notes:
Take a moment to breathe in the aromas and you’ll be greeted with passionfruit, peach, and fresh guava. The first sip lets you know you’re in for something special with its ripe tangerine, sweet nectarine, and a final note of spicy, piney hops.
Bottom Line:
The hazy, juicy beer market has exploded in the last few years and Julius was one of the first. Give it the respect it deserves by sharing a few cans with your family and friends.
No “juicy” list is complete with Two Roads Two Juicy. This New England-style IPA is unfiltered, super hazy, and filled with a cacophony of hops including Citra, Mandarina Bavaria, and Hallertau Blanc.
Tasting Notes:
The result of the myriad hops is a double IPA with strong aromas of lychee, resinous pine, and fresh pineapple. On the palate, you’ll find flavors of tangerine, orange zest, and mango. The finish is a great combination of sweet and subtly bitter.
Bottom Line:
The best part about Two Road Two Juicy is its availability. Many of the other beers on this list are hard to find, but Two Roads should be easy to spot in your local grocery store.
When you think of Sierra Nevada, you probably think about its award-winning pale ale. But this hazy New England-style IPA is one of the best, most well-rounded, easy to find, offerings on the market. It gets its bold flavors from Citra, Magnum, Simcoe, Comet, Mosaic, El Dorado hops.
Tasting Notes:
From the first nosing, you’ll find this beer is full of floral aromas that delve into tropical fruits, and bright citrus. Take a sip and find flavors of fresh grapefruit, pineapple, mango, and a mellow finish with just a hint of bitter hop presence.
Bottom Line:
If you only try one of these juicy beers, make it this one. It’s probably the cheapest and the easiest to find, but it’s an absolute banger.
Why is the Joker, a character who wasn’t in Justice League, in Zack Snyder’s Justice League? Because we live in a society, that’s why. But director Zack Snyder gave a slightly longer explanation to Total Film about bringing back Jared Leto’s Clown Prince of Crime for the first time since Suicide Squad in the so-called Snyder Cut.
“[Adding the Joker] was a thing I had wanted to do, because frankly, the ultimate conflict in a universe where Batman exists is for him to confront Joker. I was afraid that if this was the last Justice League with Ben [Affleck’s Batman] and Jared, it would be remiss if I couldn’t figure out a way for them to come into conflict,” he said. (“Affleck and Leto” isn’t quite as powerful as “De Niro and Pacino,” but I get the point.) Snyder also wanted “to bring Joker into the continuing storyline,” as opposed to Margot Robbie’s Harley Quinn, who was off doing her own thing (eating breakfast sandwiches) in Birds of Prey.
“I hinted at it in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice – when you see Batman’s gun in the post-apocalyptic world, it has a Joker playing card taped to it. This has a little bit to do with that concept,” he added. Snyder did not explain why the Joker now looks like edgelord Jesus, but it probably has something to do with Leto not wanting to cut his hair.
Zack Snyder’s Justice League is unleashed on the world on March 18.
Jimmy Kimmel went to town on the latest QAnon prophecy that claims Donald Trump will retake the White House on March 4, which used to be the traditional inauguration date for U.S. presidents. So already this theory has huge holes in it because it hinges on Trump knowing anything about American history. The late night host took time out of his Wednesday monologue to joke about “QAnuts” falling for yet another prediction after so many have failed. “Emperor Palpa-teeny Hands will strike back tomorrow, just like he was supposed to on Jan. 6,” Kimmel quipped before making a prediction of his own that definitely sounds way more plausible than anything Q can cook up. Via HuffPost:
“Donald Trump, make no mistake — and I’ll bet anything on it — will not be in the White House tomorrow,” he said. “He’ll be at Mar-a-Lago, berating the maid for leaving only one McNugget on his pillow.”
Kimmel also called out another Q prediction, which is somehow more detached from reality than the March 4 theory. This one claims that Trump will be inaugurated again on March 20, which will have give his secret forces enough time to round up the Pope — yup, the Pope — and other enemies of the state while Biden is “acting” as president. “So Biden is in on this, too?” Kimmel asked in mock disbelief before joking that he would love to be around these people the day after their predictions don’t come true. He then shared his amazement at how wrong these theories are because, usually, “you can always trust a man who wears the American flag as clothing.”
A couple months ago, there were reports that Square, the mobile payments company of which Twitter co-founder/CEO Jack Dorsey is also founder/CEO, was in talks with Jay-Z’s streaming service Tidal to buy the platform. It turns out those were more than just rumors, as both Dorsey and Jay have confirmed that the deal is just about finalized.
The New York Times reports that Square will acquire a “significant majority” of Tidal for $297 million in stock and cash. The publication also notes that earlier this week, Jay-Z bought back 33 percent of Tidal from T-Mobile after selling those shares to Sprint (which has since become part of T-Mobile) in 2017. Most of those shares will be sold to Square as part of the new deal.
Dorsey shared a lengthy series of tweets about the deal this morning, which began, “Square is acquiring a majority ownership stake in TIDAL through a new joint venture, with the original artists becoming the second largest group of shareholders, and JAY-Z joining the Square board. Why would a music streaming company and a financial services company join forces?! It comes down to a simple idea: finding new ways for artists to support their work. New ideas are found at the intersections, and we believe there’s a compelling one between music and the economy.”
Jay-Z also shared a message about the deal on Twitter, writing, “This partnership will be a game-changer for many. I look forward to all this new chapter has to offer! Jack is one of the greatest minds of our times, and our many discussions about TIDAL’s endless possibilities have made me even more inspired about its future. This shared vision makes me even more excited to join the Square board. I said from the beginning that TIDAL was about more than just streaming music, and six years later, it has remained a platform that supports artists at every point in their careers. Artists deserve better tools to assist them in their creative journey.”
This partnership will be a game-changer for many. I look forward to all this new chapter has to offer!
Jack is one of the greatest minds of our times, and our many discussions about TIDAL’s endless possibilities have made me even more inspired about its future. This shared vision makes me even more excited to join the Square board.
I said from the beginning that TIDAL was about more than just streaming music, and six years later, it has remained a platform that supports artists at every point in their careers. Artists deserve better tools to assist them in their creative journey.
“Square is acquiring a majority ownership stake in TIDAL through a new joint venture, with the original artists becoming the second largest group of shareholders, and JAY-Z joining the Square board. Why would a music streaming company and a financial services company join forces?! It comes down to a simple idea: finding new ways for artists to support their work. New ideas are found at the intersections, and we believe there’s a compelling one between music and the economy. Making the economy work for artists is similar to what Square has done for sellers.
Square started 12 years ago by giving small sellers a simple tool in order to participate more fully in the economy and grow. We did the same for individuals with Cash App, which now enables a comprehensive set of financial services for folks who weren’t able to access it before. TIDAL started with the idea of honoring artists by being artist-owned and led, focused on an uncompromised experience of the art. It’s refreshing and right. The vision only grows stronger as it’s matched with more powerful tools for artists, inclusive of new ways of getting paid.
Given what Square has been able to do for sellers of all sizes and individuals through Cash App, we believe we can now work for artists to see the same success for them, and us. We’re going to start small and focus on the most critical needs of artists and growing their fanbases. Square created ecosystems of tools for sellers & individuals, and we’ll do the same for artists. We’ll work on entirely new listening experiences to bring fans closer together, simple integrations for merch sales, modern collaboration tools, and new complementary revenue streams.
To all of TIDAL’s current listeners and fans: THANK YOU for your loyalty and commitment to artists and their work. TIDAL will continue to be the best home for music, musicians, and culture. Our commitment to you is to constantly listen, learn, and work to make a service you love.
I’m grateful for Jay’s vision, wisdom, and leadership. I knew TIDAL was something special as soon as I experienced it, and I’m inspired to work with him. He’ll now help lead our entire company, including Seller and the Cash App, as soon as the deal closes.”
Square is acquiring a majority ownership stake in TIDAL through a new joint venture, with the original artists becoming the second largest group of shareholders, and JAY-Z joining the Square board. Why would a music streaming company and a financial services company join forces?!
It comes down to a simple idea: finding new ways for artists to support their work. New ideas are found at the intersections, and we believe there’s a compelling one between music and the economy. Making the economy work for artists is similar to what Square has done for sellers.
Square started 12 years ago by giving small sellers a simple tool in order to participate more fully in the economy and grow. We did the same for individuals with Cash App, which now enables a comprehensive set of financial services for folks who weren’t able to access it before.
TIDAL started with the idea of honoring artists by being artist-owned and led, focused on an uncompromised experience of the art. It’s refreshing and right. The vision only grows stronger as it’s matched with more powerful tools for artists, inclusive of new ways of getting paid.
Given what Square has been able to do for sellers of all sizes and individuals through Cash App, we believe we can now work for artists to see the same success for them, and us. We’re going to start small and focus on the most critical needs of artists and growing their fanbases.
Square created ecosystems of tools for sellers & individuals, and we’ll do the same for artists. We’ll work on entirely new listening experiences to bring fans closer together, simple integrations for merch sales, modern collaboration tools, and new complementary revenue streams.
To all of TIDAL’s current listeners and fans: THANK YOU for your loyalty and commitment to artists and their work. TIDAL will continue to be the best home for music, musicians, and culture. Our commitment to you is to constantly listen, learn, and work to make a service you love.
I’m grateful for Jay’s vision, wisdom, and leadership. I knew TIDAL was something special as soon as I experienced it, and I’m inspired to work with him. He’ll now help lead our entire company, including Seller and the Cash App, as soon as the deal closes. https://t.co/YRfYjcWJQxpic.twitter.com/xBtq2xfwue
There’s no love lost between insurrection cheerleader Josh Hawley — who recently seemed very uneasy with the FBI director over cell phone records used to investigate the insurrectionists and who was recently called a “little piece of sh*t” by the retired general leading the related House investigation — and Joe Biden. In fact, Hawley was very offended after Biden likened Hawley and Ted Cruz to Nazi propagandist Joseph Goebbels due to their roles in encouraging MAGAs to riot at the U.S. Capitol with the “Big Lie” about election fraud. Hawley reacted to this comparison as “shameful,” and that vibe is continuing with Hawley’s response to Biden’s latest comments about anti-masking sentiment.
Biden had been clarifying his displeasure with states (including Texas and Mississippi) that are disbanding COVID-19 restrictions despite scientists advising against the move. “I think it’s a big mistake… We are on the cusp of being able to fundamentally change the nature of this disease because of the way in which we’re able to get vaccines in people’s arms,” Biden said of Texas Gov. Greg Abbott and Mississippi Gov. Tate Reeves of Mississippi’s decisions. “The last thing we need is Neanderthal thinking that in the meantime, everything’s fine, take off your mask, forget it. It still matters.”
When Hawley appeared on the program shortly after, Brian Kilmeade led the interview by asking “is this Neanderthal thinking? Because I’m looking at a listing of the states without mask mandates, Missouri is one of them. Do you have archaic thinking?”
“What a uniter Joe Biden is,” Hawley sarcastically commented, which drew laughs from his hosts. “You know, this is Mr. Unity, and yet, if you disagree, with him you’re a Neanderthal.”
Hawley’s comeback (and Biden’s characterization) arrived the day after those state officials persisted in lifting restrictions (disbanding the mask mandate and opening businesses to 100% capacity) despite warnings from CDC Director Dr. Rochelle Walensky pleaded with state officials not to do so, lest COVID variants be allowed to flourish while the wait for widespread vaccination continues.
It was 75 scandals ago, but let’s take a minute to remember that Hilaria Baldwin, the Boston-born wife of Oscar-nominated and three-time Emmy-winning actor Alec Baldwin, came under fire for faking her Spanish accent, or as one Twitter user put it, “her decade long grift where she impersonates a Spanish person.” In response to the backlash, the 30 Rock star quit Twitter, tweeting, “Twitter is like a party where everyone is screaming. Not much of a party. Goodbye for now,” only to eventually return. But on Wednesday, Baldwin left again, this time for good (at least until he returns to ban a few more people).
The actor, 62, tweeted an article about Gillian Anderson appearing to have an American accent suddenly at the Golden Globes. He used it as an opportunity to joke about the drama involving his wife, 37, which saw her step out of the spotlight for one month.
“Switching accents?” he tweeted on Wednesday, March 3. “That sounds… fascinating.”
First off, I don’t care how many Mission: Impossible movies you’ve been in. You do not come after global treasure Gillian Anderson (who did a famously good American accent for 11 seasons of a television show and two movies; also, she was born in Chicago). Also, Baldwin’s account might be gone (“This Tweet is from an account that no longer exists”), but he’s still on Instagram, where he referred to Twitter as the app “where all the assholes in the United States and beyond go to get their advanced degrees in asshole-iness.” Those “assholes” had a lot to say about his Anderson tweet and subsequent exit:
The best artists know how to adapt to the times while remaining true to their morals and keeping fans on their toes, and Childish Gambino is part of that elite crop. Starting off his multi-faceted career in comedy (he worked as a writer for 30 Rock and starred as Troy Barnes in Community), he quickly but seamlessly transformed from Donald Glover The Actor to Childish Gambino The Rapper with the 2011 release of his debut EP (aptly titled EP). He wholeheartedly embraced his nerdy side in a rap climate that was run by the streets. Pretty soon though, he unleashed more skills, showing that he could sing just as smoothly as his bars.
There are many sides to Gambino, each revealing themselves in a thrilling manner equal to unlocking the next level to your favorite video game. He’s presented heavy-hitting social and racial commentary, reveled in romance, channeled his inner ‘70s funk master, and became the king of the summer season. And he’s done this all while creating an entertainment empire, from his hit FX series Atlanta to most recently securing a multi-year deal with Amazon Studios.
In celebration of Gambino’s debut EP turning 10 on March 8th, we present a ranking of our favorite songs.
20. “Algorhythm” (3.15.20, 2020)
Half of Childish Gambino’s music will make you want to get up and dance. That is the case for “Algorhythm,” but he’s going to work your brain while doing so. This highlight from his recent 3.15.20 album is a lesson in funk, recalling 2016’s “Awaken, My Love!” But peel back the robotic vocals and an incredible sample of Zhané’s 1993 “Hey Mr. D.J.” hit, and the message of technology’s corrosive effects is startling.
19. “Freaks And Geeks” (EP, 2011)
For many of us, “Freaks And Geeks” was our introduction to Childish Gambino. He already released a few mixtapes prior to his debut EP, but his persona was still closely attached to his work on 30 Rock and Community. “Freaks And Geeks” was a smooth transition from the silver screen to the recording studio, as Gambino used the outlandish writing skills gathered from said series (“E.E. cummin’ on her face, now that’s poetry in motion”) and blasted his lyrics to the nerdiest corner of space.
18. “Summertime Magic” (Summer Pack, 2018)
As you’ll witness further down on this list, Gambino does “summer” very well. “Summertime Magic” lives up to its title, drifting off to a hidden island of bliss, valentines, and bright-eyed adoration. Have fun trying to get that “Do love me, do love me, do” earworm out of your head. It’s impossible.
17. “The Worst Guys” (Because The Internet, 2013)
By the time 2013 came around, Childish Gambino was gaining more cred while Chance the Rapper became a critics’ favorite with his second mixtape Acid Rap (where Gambino also appears). But despite all of this, the two were still adorably corny. So “The Worst Guys” is an entertaining attempt to be, well, the worst. Chance only appears on the chorus (what the heck does she need?) while Gambino throws in wild metaphors with back-to-back Sister, Sister references. But his Kanye West influence is still not concealed: the “The girls that you brought man, where are they from?” enunciation is ripped straight from Yeezy himself.
16. “Bonfire” (Camp, 2011)
As soon as the sirens begin, you know Gambino is about to go off. And that he does: “Bonfire,” the lead single from Camp, finds the rapper channeling his inner Lil Wayne as he unleashes his head spinning version of “A Milli.” There’s only a single chorus that cuts through Gambino’s flow, which is so aggressive that you could envision his face going red in the booth. And among the signature outrageous lyrics, Gambino gets cocky while targeting his competition: “’Man, why does every black actor gotta rap some?’ I don’t know, all I know is I’m the best one.”
15. “Pink Toes” (Because The Internet, 2013)
One listen to “Pink Toes” and it’s clear that (like many of us) Childish Gambino was reveling in a post-Channel Orange world. Similar to Frank Ocean, Gambino trades in the in-your-face bars for R&B escapism. Here, his charming croons shine as he paints a surrealist picture of a drug dealer and his loyal girlfriend. Towards the end, Jhene Aiko appears to amp up the fantasy. It’s a match made in heaven (or hell, if the police sirens capping the song are any indication).
14. “Terrified” (“Awaken, My Love!”, 2016)
Aside from the clunky fast food metaphor, “Terrified” is the smoothest track on “Awaken, My Love!” The taunting fear increases with each pluck of that sexy-as-hell bassline, igniting immediate shivers. And for a surprise, actor/singer JD McCrary (who voices young Simba in 2019’s The Lion King live adaptation next to Gambino’s older Simba) closes “Terrified,” making for a perfect meta moment. As if you needed any more conviving of the song’s brilliance, one watch of Gamino’s live performance at the 2018 Grammys will steer you in the right direction.
13. “Feels Like Summer” (Summer Pack, 2018)
Upon first listen, “Feels Like Summer” will spark memories of chasing the ice-cream truck to buy your favorite popsicle, running through sprinklers at the park, and family barbeques. The song’s melody has that warm, nostalgic element to it. But what grounds it is the lyrics, which allude to government control and the warning signs of climate change (“Running out of water, it’s about to go down”). It’s quite the depressing take as you realize summer may no longer be so joyful if we don’t work to change our planet.
12. “This Is America” (2018)
Racism is embedded in this country’s historical fabric, so it wasn’t as if Childish Gambino was reinventing the wheel here. But what makes “This Is America” so unforgettable is putting his own Gambino spin by funneling images that simultaneously mock and teach white racists of their own doing, which are propelled by an iconic video that brings Black people’s mortality to light. “This Is America” swept the 2019 Grammy Awards, taking home four trophies including the coveted Record Of The Year while making history as the first rap song to do so. Its accolades and virality were somewhat promising signs that this generation was finally waking up and smelling reality.
11. “Crawl” (Because The Internet, 2013)
If “Pink Toes” is post-Channel Orange, then “Crawl” is surely post-Watch The Throne. Gambino goes berserk on “Crawl” — the Because The Internet opener that borrows from Kanye West and Jay-Z’s penchant for grandiose beats. Gambino and co-producer Christian Rich creates an environment that’s not of this world, which is equal parts adrenaline-inducing and frightening due to Mystikal’s scatty adlibs, the increasing levels of a vital signs monitor, and a rousing choir. The outcome could’ve been messy, but Gambino hits the perfect balance that is an absolute headspin.
10. “Heartbeat” (Camp, 2011)
It seems like Gambino had 808s & Heartbreak on the brain for this Camp favorite. But make no mistake here, he’s not completely biting off a despondent Kanye West. Rather, Gambino is tapping into his inner romantic as he gets caught in a frustrating love triangle — a side of him that fans hadn’t seen before. From the chorus’ R&B croons to the pumping EDM production, “Heartbeat” encapsulated the heightened emotion of the early ‘10s music era.
9. “The Palisades” (Kauai, 2014)
Love’s complicated tug-of-war is the running theme on Kauai, and “The Palisades” finds Gambino longing for the simple pleasures in life: long walks on the beach, dancing with his girl, and smoking weed. But as he says on the succinct hook: “Love don’t really happen.” It’s all set to an oh-so-groovy, plucky guitar melody that takes a page out of The Neptunes’ book of earworm tricks (right down to mimicking Pharrell’s signature four-count start). Top it off with some Michael Jackson-inspired falsettos and you have a song that would make the Motown gods proud.
8. “Sweatpants” (Because The Internet, 2013)
Sometimes Gambino’s comedic wordplay can steer too far into try-hard territory. But on this Because The Internet cut, the rapper strikes a happy medium. “Sweatpants” has a lot of stand-out qualities going for it: the buzzy trap beat, the way Gambino confidently rides the beat in a way that’s more cool kid than geek, and fully embracing his suburban upbringing with his “The Boy” alter-ego. When he spits “Don’t be mad cause I’m doing me better than you doing you” on the chorus, you have no choice but to believe him.
7. “Candler Road” (STN MTN, 2014)
Childish Gambino opens STN MTN (his ode to his hometown of Stone Mountain, Georgia) with: “I had a dream I ran Atlanta.” And on mixtape highlight “Candler Road,” he fully embodies that vision. Most naysayers would question the rapper’s ability to ride a trap beat, but here he completely dominates. The production is lifted right from the streets of Decatur (where the titular road is found), and Gambino matches its grittiness with a platter of impressive bars, ad-lib singing just for the hell of it, and too many aggressive flows to count. By the time the beat switches on the song’s latter half, you’ll be grinning at Gambino cheekily giving us insight into the vibes we could expect on his hit series Atlanta.
6. “Stand Tall” (“Awaken, My Love!”, 2016)
Being the closer to “Awaken, My Love!”, “Stand Tall” often gets caught in the praise of the album’s more prominent singles. But this isn’t one to be overlooked. It is six minutes of experimental bliss, with Gambino reflecting on his fatherly responsibilities. Here, he transfers the advice his old man once gave him in hopes to pass onto not only his own sons but the listeners who are in search of life’s answers. “Keep all your dreams, keep standing tall / If you are strong, you cannot fall / There is a voice inside us all / So smile when you can, when you can.” The motivating words float through vocoders, a harmonious choir, ‘70s-inspired wah-wah guitar flicks, and floating pipes that ultimately create Gambino’s version of wonderland.
5. “Sober” (Kauai, 2014)
One thing that Childish Gambino does well is juxtaposition, which is brilliantly executed on “Sober.” The melody itself is a sweet electro-R&B ditty reminiscent of a sunny afternoon stroll in the park, yet the lyrical content reveals the opposite. “Girl, what’s your problem? / ‘Cause I know it’s hard sometimes, baby just give it some time.” The opening lines give way to Gambino struggling to cope with a love lost; there’s no hope in mending his broken relationship. But I think the idea of never being sober is more than just reaching for the nearest bottle or substance of choice to drown your sorrows in. Here, love is the drug. And now that’s over, the search for an emotional high that has been lost begins. Towards the end of the song, the beat unexpectedly shifts, forcing all those emotions to come crashing down just as strong as the Hawaiian shores.
4. “Pop Thieves (Make It Feel Good)” (Kauai, 2014)
As soon as the birds begin chirping on “Pop Thieves (Make It Feel Good),” you’re immediately transported to an island filled with lush greenery, calmly crashing waves and love in the air. Well, that’s what I predict Kauai to be like anyway. But if you haven’t visited the Hawaiian island (like myself), Gambino provides that ticket to escapism on this track. The artist showcased his singing abilities prior to Kauai, but on the EP he truly goes there. He sounds sublime on “Pop Thieves (Make It Feel Good),” wrapping your ears with tender love before Jaden Smith adds a dose of serenity with a spoken-word outro.
3. “Redbone” (“Awaken, My Love!”, 2016)
The tracklist placement of the Grammy-winning “Redbone” is almost too ironic, as if the mischievous Gambino we were first introduced to is in on the joke. Undoubtedly the artist’s strongest single to date, it is stuffed right in the middle of the album. But there’s no accidental skips here: as soon as those heart-thumping drums drop, you’re immediately sucked in. Cringe title aside (the referential “redbone,” or a light-skinned Black woman, is a historically touchy subject in the community), the song is a groove. Heavily borrowing from the melodic genius of Funkadelic, George Clinton’s ‘70s psychedelic funk band, “Redbone” is a masterful blend of paranoia creeping up behind your shoulders (which was heightened by its use in Get Out that gave a whole ‘nother meaning to “stay woke”) and a romantic boogie that’s laid on peanut-butter thick thanks to that unshakable bassline.
2. “3005” (Because The Internet, 2013)
On the surface, “3005” may appear as a cutesy love song. But strip away the punchy electronic production and the lush hook (in which Gambino sounds his absolute dreamiest) that is an overpouring of commitment and promise of fidelity, you’ll find loneliness at its core. “Everybody’s like, ‘It’s a love song.’ It’s kind of an existential thing. I’m just really scared of being alone. When I was little, there was a big dog down the street,” Gambino explained about the song’s meaning, which he wrote following a morning dream. “I was really scared of it. But when I was with my sister, when I knew I had to protect her, I wasn’t afraid of the dog as much because somebody was there. I had a purpose. I kind of lost that, I feel.” What’s more relatable than feeling alone? The shadow of existential dread is omnipresent in “3005,” jerking the song back to reality. It cuts through the bright melodies with lyrics like “I’ve lost all hope of a happy ending” and signature wordplay like “Girl why is you lying, girl why you Mufasa?” In the words of Meek Mill, there’s levels to this sh*t.
1. “Me And Your Mama” (“Awaken, My Love!”, 2016)
Looking back at the Childish Gambino who created “Freaks And Geeks” or even the Donald Glover who starred on Community, I’m guessing that none of us could’ve ever predicted that same person would’ve created “Awaken, My Love!” “Me And Your Mama,” the album’s intense opener/opus, stomps on all that disbelief and picks up our jaws off the floor. It begins completely unassuming, twinkling with mystical synths and a choir harmonizing about the joys of marijuana. But once the two-minute mark hits, we’re shaken awake from the high and staring in the face of our worst nightmares. Gambino, in his career-best vocal performance, emerges from underneath a taunting monster to profess his tortured love. Have you ever heard someone begging to be let into their partner’s heart that passionately? If there’s one thing to take away from “Me And Your Mama,” it’s to expect the unexpected from Childish Gambino. As a matter of fact, spare yourself the trouble and just don’t expect anything that all. The guy is just not of this planet.
On this week’s episode of WTF with Marc Maron, Tim Allen spoke at length about his conservative leanings. He admitted that he liked Donald Trump, not for his politics or his policies, but because he “pissed people off,” and that’s something that Tim Allen appreciated about the former President.
Allen’s political leanings, however, are not unknown. He frequently inserts his conservative beliefs into his sitcom, Last Man Standing. What’s less known about Tim Allen is his stint in prison, which he also discussed on the podcast. Allen did not shy away from his past, saying that when he was younger, he was “an eff up,” that he sold drugs and partook in his own supply. According to Allen, a group of college kids to whom he dealt got caught and “rolled on” Allen and another guy, both of whom took the blame for the crimes of about 20 people. Allen, however, didn’t necessarily hate prison. He got used to it, and he got along by being the funny guy. By the end, he’d even managed to secure his own prison cell, an accomplishment for which he was oddly proud.
Allen was a big drinker, too, although he confesses that he’s now 23 years sober. The past addiction issues and the prison sentence perhaps make Tim Allen the unlikely star of a hugely popular family sitcom, Home Improvement, one of the most popular children’s characters ever in Buzz Lightyear, and the title character in a Christmas family staple, The Santa Claus, which launched two sequels. What’s perhaps even more ironic, however, is the fact that Tim Allen dislikes kids.
It’s actually a bit in his stand-up that’s not far from the truth. “I hate your kids,” he jokes in his act, “and I’m not fond of my kids. But I really hate your kids. Nothing is dumber than human children, and above all, they take the attention away from me in a room.”
Allen has found, however, that the more he dislikes kids — like the ones in his neighborhood — the more they seem to want to hang around him. He also admits that, on The Santa Claus, he was a “mean, horrible Santa Claus off stage.”
“I was an angry, made-up comedian that didn’t have any idea what five hours of make-up would be like. It was horrific. And then these kids wouldn’t behave, and then I’m swearing, SWEARING, while dressed like Santa Claus until one of the Disney people said, ‘Tim, you can’t keep dropping the F-bomb in front of the kids dressed as Santa Claus.’ And of course, I’m going, ‘I’m not goddamn Santa,’ and they’re like, ‘They don’t know that!”
“It was an amazing experience for me, because I really don’t like kids very much, but these kids love being around this pissy Santa, and I learned to be a pissy nice guy.”
Maron also noted how strange it is that Allen has a cranky relationship with kids, and yet he’s a kids’ icon. “You’re Buzz Lightyear, for God’s sake!”
“It’s my biggest joke ever,” Allen said. He told God what he wanted, but didn’t specify exactly how he wanted it. “I want to do The Tonight Show and God said, ‘OK,’ and the next thing, I’m doing The Santa Claus, Buzz Lightyear, Home Improvement, and these family shows. And I say [to God], ‘Wait a minute. I forgot to tell you that I hate kids.’”
On that subject, Allen also admitted a preference for the original scripted opening of The Santa Claus. “It was dark, man. It was dark. I shot and killed Santa in the opening scene. I shot him, and he fell off the roof, and the kid goes, ‘You just killed Santa!’ And I said, ‘He shouldn’t have been on the roof. He should’ve been at the mall, where he belongs. I thought he was robbing my house.’”
Disney, however, rejected that opening scene, telling him, “You can’t start a Disney movie with you murdering Santa.” Allen, not incorrectly responded, “Why? You kill all the parents in every other movie.”
Before Drake dropped his latest album, Scorpion, in the summer of 2018, he released his two-track Scary Hours EP a few months before. Now, it looks like Drake will be employing a similar strategy for Certified Lover Boy, as he has taken to Instagram to apparently announce Scary Hours 2.
In a post from last night, Drake shared what appears to be cover art, which reads “Scary Hours” and features a pair of diamond shapes as well as a parental advisory label. He wrote, “FRIDAY MIDNIGHT,” with a skull and crossbones emoji, suggesting that the release is landing tomorrow.
This follows a March 1 update from Akademiks that read, “Drake told me to sit tight n relax… he said that ‘Whats Next’ record is just a ‘warm up ting’. He’s working overtime creating this next masterpiece… CLB on da way… fr. He also told me he shooting some videos.. prollly drop something this week. The Goat is back. Aubrey Champagne Papi Drake Graham.”
Drake told me to sit tight n relax… he said that ‘Whats Next’ record is just a ‘warm up ting’. He’s working overtime creating this next masterpiece… CLB on da way… fr.
The original Scary Hours came out in January 2018 and was then followed by Scorpion that June. So, if Scary Hours 2 precedes his next album in a similar way, Certified Lover Boy could be out in the world in a matter of months.
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