Nearly two years after releasing Ginger, Brockhampton will treat their fans with their sixth effort, Roadrunner: New Light, New Machine next week. It’s a project that their supporters have spent a few months waiting for, especially after the band dropped off some hints about it.
After kicking off its rollout with “Buzzcut” featuring Danny Brown, Brockhampton doubles back with their second single, “Count On Me.” Unlike their previous single, “Count On Me” is a much lighter and upbeat track that sees the rappers providing assurance to their partners that no matter what, things within their relationships will be okay.
Roadrunner: New Light, New Machine will arrive with 13 songs and features from ASAP Rocky, ASAP Ferg, Charlie Wilson Sogone Soflex, Jpegmafia, and Baird in addition to Danny Brown. While the upcoming effort’s release is certainly exciting for fans, it does arrive with some bad news. Brockhampton’s lead vocalist, Kevin Abstract, shared the news about the band’s future in a tweet. “2 brockhampton albums in 2021 – these will be our last,” he said, seemingly promising that the album that arrives after Roadrunner: New Light, New Machine will bring an end to Brockhampton as we know it.
Until then, you can press play on the song in the video above.
Roadrunner: New Light, New Machine is out 4/9 on Question Everything/RCA Records. You can pre-order a limited edition box set here.
Friday will mark one week since the music world was surprised with news that Saweetie and Quavo called it quits in their romantic relationship. The two had grown to be one of hip-hop’s favorite couples but their break-up, which spilled out into the public, proved that things were not as rosy as they may have seemed.
While the split was a shocker, a video of the two rappers fighting in an elevator was even more of a surprise to fans when it leaked earlier this week. The clip was shared by TMZ and it quickly went viral on social media. After staying quiet for the few days since the video’s emergence, Quavo has come forward with a statement about the incident.
Speaking to TMZ, he said, “We had an unfortunate situation almost a year ago that we both learned and moved on from.” He added, “I haven’t physically abused Saweetie and have real gratitude for what we did share overall.”
Quavo’s words come hours after Saweetie also spoke to TMZ about the incident. “This unfortunate incident happened a year ago, while we have reconciled since then and moved past this particular disagreement, there were simply too many other hurdles to overcome in our relationship and we have both since moved on,” she said in a brief statement to the publication.
Not too long after the video emerged online, the LAPD reportedly began an investigation into the matter, as officers apparently would like to speak to both parties and see what caused the altercation. If criminal charges are necessary, they plan on turning the case over to the City Attorney, where appropriate charges could be determined.
Saweetie is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.
With the turn of the calendar into the month of April, we’re officially a month and some change away from a new St. Vincent album, Daddy’s Home. The project was made official at the end of February thanks to street posters that were put up to kick off the album’s promotional campaign. With just six weeks left until the project is released, St. Vincent returns with a second single from the project, “The Melting Of The Sun.”
On the track, which features co-production from Jack Antonoff, St. Vincent takes the opportunity to thank some of the artists who have inspired her in her career. This includes Joni Mitchell and Marilyn Monroe as she sings, “Saint Joni ain’t no phony / Smoking reds where Furry sang the blues / My Marilyn shot her heroin / Hell she said it’s better than abuse.”
St. Vincent began the rollout for Daddy’s Home with her “Pay Your Way In Pain” song and video. She also spoke about the project and what listeners can expect it to sound like.
“I would say it’s the sound of being down and out downtown in New York, 1973,” she said. “Glamour that hasn’t slept for three days. […] I went back to these records that I probably listened to more in my life than at any other time. Music made in New York from 1971 to ’76, typically post-flower child, kick the hippie idealism out of it, America’s in a recession but pre-disco, the sort of gritty, raw, wiggly nihilistic part of that.”
Listen to “The Melting Of The Sun” in the video above.
Daddy’s Home is out 5/14 via Loma Vista. Pre-order it here.
Today’s April Fool’s Day holiday has left people all over the world on their toes in hopes that they didn’t fall for one of the many joke traps various people and companies lay all over the Internet. So when Andrew Yang dropped his new political campaign track, one that featured rapping by MC Jin, folks were a bit skeptical about it. To the surprise of many, however, it is very real.
Yang, who is currently running for New York City mayor, announced and released the track on Thursday through his Instagram page. Entitled, “Yang For NY,” the track comes with vocals from MC Jin and arrives with a video that presents Jin as a mixtape hustler trying to sell CDs of the track. The visual also captures him rapping throughout New York City while Yang speaks face-to-face with New Yorkers.
Jin shared the video on his Instagram with a message in its caption. “When @andrewyang called me and told me that he would be running for mayor of NYC, I thought he had a position at city hall in mind for me,” he said. “But I guess creating the official anthem is probably more up my alley! #YangForNY.” Prior to the track’s release, Yang and Jin joined forces for a sit-down on Yang’s Yang Speaks podcast where Jin opened up about being the first solo Asian American rapper to land a major record label deal in the United States.
Old Forester/Wild Turkey/Buffalo Trace/Willett/iStock/Uproxx
Christopher Osburn has spent the past fifteen years in search of “the best” — or at least his very favorite — sips of whisk(e)y on earth. He’s enjoyed more drams than his doctor would dare feel comfortable with, traveled to over 20 countries testing local spirits, visited more than 50 distilleries around the globe, and amassed a collection of bottles that occupies his entire basement (and infuriates his wife).
In this series, he cracks open his worn “tasting diary” and shares its contents with the masses.
The spirit of “The Americas” is… not a whiskey at all. It’s clearly rum. But when you zoom in and look at the modern United States, it’s obvious that whiskey rules. Pull even tighter in and you’ll see that, like Scotland with Scotch, the US is known worldwide for its proficiency in distilling, aging, and bottling one particular type of whiskey above all others: bourbon.
The plethora of brands competing for shelf space certainly isn’t a bad thing for you. More option equals more high-quality bourbons for you to mix with and sip. But it also means that there are a fair number of bottles out there that you don’t need to spend your hard-earned money on — celebrity cash grabs, overhyped expressions, and uninspired classics.
To help you hit the taste-meets-value sweet spot every time you buy a bottle, I decided to share my ten favorite “value bourbons.” These aren’t my all-time favorites and they aren’t the rock bottom cheapest. They’re just 10 quality “all-rounders” that I give my personal stamp of approval.
There are few bourbon brands more popular than Maker’s Mark and there’s a solid reason for that. Its flagship bourbon is cheap and just as easy to sip as it is to mix with. But if you want to ramp up your cocktail game, grab a bottle of its cask strength expression. It’s a little more expensive but has a much more pronounced spicy, intense, rich flavor.
Tasting Notes:
On the nose, you’ll find strong aromas of charred wood, caramelized sugar, and spicy cinnamon sugar. The palate is swirling with buttery caramel, sweet vanilla, pipe tobacco, and an underlying spicy heat. The finish is long, very warm, and ends with a final flourish of pepper and cinnamon candy.
Bottom Line:
If you’re a fan of bold, spicy bourbons, this is the sipper for you. If you don’t want your cocktails watered down, this is also the bourbon for you.
If you haven’t heard about this small-batch bourbon from Kirby, Wyoming, you haven’t been paying attention to the whiskey world lately. The state’s first legal whiskey distillery has been cranking out this award-winning whiskey since 2009. Aged for five years using locally sourced ingredients, Wyoming Whiskey is proof that high-quality bourbon can be made far from Kentucky.
Tasting Notes:
Take a moment to give this bourbon a proper nosing and you’ll be met with subtle floral, caramel corn, and dried cherry scents. On the sip, you’ll be greeted with flavors of sweet treacle, buttercream, brown sugar, and charred oak. The finish is gently warming, dry, and ends with a nice pairing of leather and tobacco.
Bottom Line:
This small-batch whiskey is surprisingly cheap for the quality. It’s the kind of bottle you’ll want to bring out and pour for your friends who believe great bourbon can only come from the “Blue Grass State.”
Michter’s takes the “small batch” title very seriously. US-1 Bourbon is batched in a holding tank that fits no more than the equivalent of twenty barrels. While the bottle doesn’t list an age statement, it’s believed that this bourbon is matured for around 8 years in new, charred American oak casks.
Tasting Notes:
Breathe in the aromas of charred oak, sweet vanilla, and rich toffee. The palate offers a symphony of buttery caramel, baking spices, butterscotch, and a subtle hint of tobacco smoke. The finish is medium in length, filled with warming heat, and ends with a nice note of charred wood and caramel.
Bottom Line:
We dare you to try and find a better sipping bourbon for the price. We’ll save you the trouble. You’re not going to be able to.
Ask any bartender to tell you their must-have bottles and they’ll probably have Old Forester 100 on their list. This award-winning bourbon is a potent 50% ABV and is bottled using hand-selected barrels known for their bold, spicy flavor. For the price, it’s hard to find a better mixing bourbon.
Tasting Notes:
On the nose, you’ll find aromas of milk chocolate, brown sugar, spicy cinnamon, and an herbal backbone. The mid-palate features flavors of clove, caramel apples, raisins, and creamy vanilla. The end is mellow, with notes of crisp apple and charred oak.
Bottom Line:
If you only buy one bottle specifically for mixing into old fashioneds and whiskey sours, we suggest it be Old Forester 100. It’s spicy, robust, and stands up to any cocktail ingredient.
Buffalo Trace is well known for its award-winning, highly coveted portfolio. But when it comes to must-have whiskeys, it’s impossible to beat the vprice-to-quality ratio of its flagship Buffalo Trace bourbon. Aged for 8 years in new, charred American oak barrels, the Bison-adorned bottle should have a permanent spot in your liquor cabinet.
Tasting Notes:
The prevalent aromas are those of fresh mint, charred sugar, and vanilla beans. The first sip offers up notes of sticky toffee, dried cherries, raisins, butterscotch, and a subtle hint of peppery spice. The finish is notably smooth, warming, and ends with a nice final flourish of brown sugar.
Bottom Line:
This is a list of bottles you need for your home bar. But honestly, if you’re short of funds and you can only buy one, make it Buffalo Trace. It’s surprisingly cheap and is just as great neat or on the rocks as it is mixed into a cocktail.
FEW is another one of those distilleries that show that bourbon’s reach is outside of Kentucky. This Illinois-based bourbon has won numerous awards for its quality and flavor. This small-batch, three-grain bourbon is made with corn, northern rye, and malted barley before being matured in new, charred American oak barrels for an undisclosed amount of time.
Tasting Notes:
Take a moment to give this a nosing and you’ll find whiffs of cinnamon, cloves, and brown sugar. On the palate, you’ll pick up flavors of charred oak, pipe tobacco, molasses, cooking spices, and a nice malt backbone. It all ends with a warming, sweet, caramelized sugar send-off.
Bottom Line:
Even though it’s not very high-proof, FEW bourbon is a little spicier than some of its counterparts. Because of this, it’s a great gateway bourbon for fans of rye whiskey.
Wild Turkey is a big name in the whiskey world. If you’re looking for a high-quality value bourbon, you can’t go wrong with any of their expressions. But if you want a big, bold flavor, look no further than Rare Breed with its combination of six, eight, and twelve-year-old bourbons. It’s bottled at cask strength and is a go-to for bartenders all over the country.
Tasting Notes:
On the nose, you’ll find aromas of cracked black pepper, molasses, and honey. The palate is full of the flavors of dried orange peels, pipe tobacco, toffee, and nice, subtle cinnamon spice. The finish is long, dry, and ends with a crescendo of black pepper and vanilla.
Bottom Line:
This turbo-charged whiskey deserves your respect. It’s high proof and well-suited as the base for your spring mint julep, bourbon smash, or as a (very) slow sipper.
Willett is well-known for its Family Estate Bottled Bourbon, Pot Still Reserve, and Family Estate Rye. But the distillery also produces a handful of other brands — including Noah’s Mill. This small-batch bourbon once carried an age statement of 15 years, but now it’s believed to be a blend of bourbons ranging in age from four to twenty years.
It’s known for its rich, smooth, easy-to-drink flavor.
Tasting Notes:
A nosing will reveal aromas of raisins, wildflowers, clover honey, and a nutty sweetness. On the sip, you’ll be transported to a world of swirling pecans, almond cookies, sweet cream, cinnamon, clove, and a nice hit of caramelized sugar. It all ends with a long, warm kick of brown sugar.
Bottom Line:
While nobody will tell you not to mix with this whiskey, we prefer this exclusively as a sipper. Put it in a glass with a single ice cube and enjoy sipping it as the various flavors slowly emerge on the palate.
This award-winning bourbon from Wild Turkey master distillers and father and son duo Jimmy and Eddie Russell is a small-batch, hand-picked bourbon that was matured for ten years in charred, new American oak casks. The result is 90-proof caramel and vanilla bomb.
Tasting Notes:
On the nose, you’ll find scents of dried cherries, toasted marshmallows, and butterscotch. The flavor is filled with notes of toffee, buttercream frosting, Christmas spices, sugar cookies, and charred oak. The end is spicy, sweet, and ends with a nice almond cookie and caramel finish.
Bottom Line:
This bourbon was the culmination of more than 90 years of distilling expertise. You can bet it’s of the highest quality possible. As a bonus, it’s priced under $40.
During the maturation process, a large percentage of any whiskey evaporates. This is referred to as the “angel’s share.” This is where this six-year-old award-winning whiskey brand gets its name. Angel’s Envy Kentucky Straight Bourbon is crafted in small batches of 8 to 12 barrels before being finished in port wine casks.
Tasting Notes:
Give this whiskey a nosing and you’ll breathe in scents of maple candy, walnuts, dried cherries, and caramel. On the palate, you’ll be greeted with flavors of toasted oak, dark chocolate, buttery vanilla, and maple syrup. The close is sweet, fruity, and very mellow.
Bottom Line:
This is a decadent, sweet bourbon. It’s most appropriate as a digestif after a heavy meal or a slow sipper on a cool evening.
Florida congressman Matt Gaetz has had a bad week, and no matter what way you want to frame it the news keeps getting worse for the Republican lawmaker. A week that initially brought rumors that he wanted to leave office has unfurled a wild series of stories about his alleged misconduct, including allegations of a sexual relationship with a 17-year-old and various ties to another Florida politician also in hot water.
Word on the street is that Fox News has no interest in hiring Gaetz after his time in politics ends, which seems assured to be very soon one way or the other. Whether that’s because he bizarrely tried to implicate Tucker Carlson live on air is unclear, but it’s another wrinkle of the story’s weirdness that keeps growing as time goes on.
As CNN reported Thursday, the allegations against Gaetz only begin with human trafficking, as a Justice Department investigation into his apparent relationship with a 17-year-old has become something much more more wide-ranging according to new reports. As the New York Times explained in greater detail on Thursday night, the 38-year-old Gaetz apparently used various mobile payment apps to send women money for sex, often taking drugs with them as well.
The Times has reviewed receipts from Cash App, a mobile payments app, and Apple Pay that show payments from Mr. Gaetz and Mr. Greenberg to one of the women, and a payment from Mr. Greenberg to a second woman. The women told their friends that the payments were for sex with the two men, according to two people familiar with the conversations.
In encounters during 2019 and 2020, Mr. Gaetz and Mr. Greenberg instructed the women to meet at certain times and places, often at hotels around Florida, and would tell them the amount of money they were willing to pay, according to the messages and interviews.
One person said that the men also paid in cash, sometimes withdrawn from a hotel ATM.
Some of the men and women took ecstasy, an illegal hallucinogenic drug, before having sex, including Mr. Gaetz, two people familiar with the encounters said.
What’s more, another CNN report details some other disturbing activities that had helped alienate Gaetz among his colleagues, who according to other reports tried to distance themselves from Gaetz by not taking photographs with him. One reason, perhaps, was detailed in the report that described Gaetz sharing photos of a nude woman with a hula hoop that the Republican congressman claimed he slept with.
Gaetz allegedly showed off to other lawmakers photos and videos of nude women he said he had slept with, the sources told CNN, including while on the House floor. The sources, including two people directly shown the material, said Gaetz displayed the images of women on his phone and talked about having sex with them. One of the videos showed a naked woman with a hula hoop, according to one source.
“It was a point of pride,” one of the sources said of Gaetz.
As New York Times reporter Maggie Haberman clarified on Thursday, “on the floor” presumably means that these actions were taken while actually on the floor of Congress.
The nude photo incident doesn’t appear to be part of the Justice Department investigation, but does add context to what’s been an unraveling of the staunch Donald Trump supporter in the span of just a few days. While Gaetz has strongly denied any wrongdoing, the evidence leaked in reports continues to pile up faster than anyone could have expected at the start of the week.
Top Chef is back, baby! That’s right, while you were holed up in your RV eating lukewarm Chef Boyardee during this quarantine (haven’t checked the stats on the Uproxx readership, I assume that’s our demo) Top Chef was deep in Super Secret Food Contest Bubble. And all so they could bring you this full season of Top Chef programming. God bless you, you beautiful Bravo bastards, some of us really needed this. I assume spending all that time together drove them slowly insane, and that Tom and Padma are feuding like the Oasis brothers now.
My God, have you seen Richard Blais’s hair lately?
NBC Universal
It looks like my man walked into the barbershop and said “Give me the Happy Gilmore Caddy.”
HBO
As a curly-haired man, I think straight-haired men having hair this big is cultural appropriation. If you never had a manager tell you your hair poofing out on the sides was “unprofessional,” or had your football coach nickname you “Poodle,” or had friends wonder if you had a vitamin deficiency growing up, you don’t get to wear your hair that big. My culture is not a costume, Richard Blais.
In any case, this season was filmed in the middle of a pandemic while restaurants were getting massacred, and if you were wondering whether they’d mention this elephant in the room, don’t worry, Top Chef‘s got you covered. In fact, someone actually cries in the first minute of the show, which I believe is a new Top Chef record. This show is not here to make friends. Padma also mentions that if she got tested anymore often, she’d have to live with a Q-Tip permanently up her nose. Whatever, Padma could turn that into a trend.
In the quickfire, the contestants split into teams of three. They’d all been asked to bring their can’t-live-without-it ingredient to the kitchen, and the challenge was to incorporate all three of the chefs’ ingredients into a single dish, Chopped style. (Sorry to cheapen Top Chef by mentioning Chopped. If this were Chopped, one of the ingredients would be “a leftover frozen burrito” and Scott Conant would spend 15 minutes bitching about onions). A couple of the contestants chose as their secret ingredient “butter” or “rice vinegar,” which… makes them seem like morons. Did you really think the Top Chef kitchen wouldn’t have butter? I’m fairly certain the producers sandbagged them by not telling them that their “can’t live without it” ingredient would become part of a challenge, but come on — if you’ve seen the show before you had to know that was going to happen.
Then, in the elimination challenge, the contestants had to choose from a series of local birds. Ah yes, Portland, land of birds — that stereotype we all know and recognize. Hey, I guess it was either this or a challenge where you have to put Fruit Loops on donuts (that’s right, Portland, I know your tricks). With their birds chosen by random draw, the contestants had to cook duck, squab, turkey, or chukar — the last of which is apparently a species of partridge. Not a single contestant did a play on “partridge in a pear tree,” which seems like a missed opportunity.
Anyway, none of the contestants actually said “I’m not here to make friends,” and we’re still waiting for the first tearful confessional in which one promises “from here on out, I’m just gonna cook my food.” Our heroes, underdogs, annoying chefs, and villains are still in the embryonic stage after one episode. But that’s part of the fun.
Alternate Episode Titles:
A Tale Of Two Gabriels
Chukar? I Hardly Know ‘Ar!
POWER RANKINGS
15. (Eliminated) Roscoe Hall
NBC Universal
Aka: Specs. The Professor. Molasses (he talks slow, you see).
Harshest review of dish: “This is a bowl full of fear.” -Tom Colicchio
Roscoe was my early favorite among the contestants, on account of he’s one of the lowest-energy reality TV contestants I’ve ever seen. The man looks shockingly well-put-together for a chef and talks slower than a Xanny rapper (sorry, I don’t know enough Xanny rap to work that into a nickname). Which all made a little more sense when Roscoe revealed that he was an artist who cooked his way through grad school. He then went from cooking California cuisine at Chez Panisse in Berkeley to becoming a pit boss with whole hog master Rodney Scott (check him Scott on Chef’s Table: BBQ on Netflix). The man has layers!
Unfortunately, Roscoe’s duck adobo apparently did not have layers — unless you count the layer of grease on top of the broth. Which meant Roscoe (great name, btw) had to serve bad broth to Melissa King, who famously tended the “family broth” from the time she was in first or second grade. Tough draw. And so it was, my favorite contestant got kicked off on the very first show. Goddammit.
Roscoe did choose rice vinegar as his desert island ingredient though, so maybe he deserved it.
14. Jamie Tran
NBC Universal
Aka: Splat. Police Academy.
Jamie talks in sound effects, hence all the nicknames. Isn’t that quirky?! I’m not sure how much screen time this odd personal idiosyncrasy can possibly sustain, but based on her performance in the first episode it may not have to sustain much. Jamie was paired with Dawn and Gabe in the quickfire and made a big boner (*BONER OF THE EPISODE theme song*) when she… get this… put sauce on the skin side of her fish! (*comedic trombone*)
Dawn was heated. For a second I thought it might come to blows. Wouldn’t be the first sauce-inspired fisticuffs on this show.
In the elimination round, Jamie maced the entire kitchen with her chili paste, which would’ve been a lot cooler if her resulting dish looked spicy. Instead, she made turkey, with curry couscous, and a giant piece of broccoli. Maybe it was the giant piece of broccoli, but I think Jamie won the prize for grossest-looking first dish. What’s the sound effect for that?
13. Avishar Barua
NBC Universal
Aka: Milhouse. Chillhouse. American Pie.
Harshest critique of dish: “You expect a ton of flavor from this dish and it’s just not there.”
Laidback Indian-Ohioan dude Avishar brought his “mom’s apple chutney” for a special ingredient, which sounds like a setup for a scene in a remake of American Pie. Which would fit — wholesome Avishar is shockingly easy to picture on a DVD cover next to some chutney with a dick-shaped hole in it.
Another early favorite of mine, Avishar also almost went home when he served chukar-fried chukar (an excellent play on words, sounds tasty too) with jhol and pulao. Unfortunately, his curry was bland and his rice undercooked, which are both capital offenses in Padmaland. I don’t know how he’s still on the show, but I’m cautiously happy about it.
12. Chris Viaud
NBC Universal
Aka: Butter. Stretch. Duh.
Yes, Chris was the chef who chose butter as his special ingredient. Butter. Come on, man. Then his team landed in the bottom of the quickfire when their scallops poached in kombu butter “didn’t have enough butter flavor.” Things are not looking good for Chris.
11. Byron Gomez
NBC Universal
Aka: Manolo.
Harshest critique: “I’m searching for the Thai grilled flavor and I’m not getting it.”
So far, all I really know about Byron is that he’s from Costa Rica and that he sort of reminds me of Manolo from Scarface. He cooked a sweet Thai-style squab with jicama salad and a sweet potato cake — which sounds good, but apparently wasn’t. His special ingredient was “mushroom powder,” which as far as I know is a drug, not a food. Learn something new every day, I guess.
First ju get the mushroom, then ju get the powder.
10. Dawn Burrell
NBC Universal
Aka: Hothead. ‘Sheed. Legs.
Fun Fact: Dawn used to be an Olympic long jumper (hence the nickname “Legs”). Her brother also set the world record for the 100-meters twice.
Biggest Boner: Forgetting to plate the stew in her stew dish.
Dawn is an ex-athlete who cooks angry, which I both respect and identity with. I thought she was about to draw Top Chef‘s first technical foul (I nicknamed her ‘Sheed, after NBA technical king Rasheed Wallace) when she saw Jamie put sauce on her crispy fish skin and almost lost her damn mind. Dawn was then “in her feelings,” as the kids say, for almost the entire episode on account of she didn’t plate the stew component of her stew dish in time. That she was in the bottom in the quickfire but didn’t make the bottom three in the elimination challenge makes her a conundrum in these rankings.
Is getting a stew-less stew past the judges a grand achievement or an unforced error? I think it’s both. Seems like she has the talent if she can get her head right. Don’t cook angry, Dawn!
9. Sasha Grumman
NBC Universal
AKA: Carm. Gritty.
The Sicilian-American, Italian-trained chef Sasha Grumman chose Meyer lemons as her special ingredient and won immunity (along with Sara and Kiki) in the quickfire challenge with some harissa halibut. She then half-assed her way through the elimination challenge with a heavy sauce and some too-dense polenta (hence the nickname Gritty; which has a double meaning since she also has similar hair color to Gritty the mascot — maybe it was meant to be). I respect it because, (and as a Mancini I think I’m allowed to say this) not working too hard when you don’t have to is the Italian-American way.
I’m also nicknaming her Carm after Carmela Soprano on the grounds of Sicilianness and earring size.
8. Shota Nakajima
NBC Universal
Aka: Beavis.
Asinine critique of the week: “This eats really well.”
Japenese-trained Shota and his sweet chinstrap beard was the only other contestant besides Jamie to have a personality quirk identified: his Beavis-and-Butthead-esque laugh. Shota landed in the bottom of the quickfire but rose to the top three in the elimination on the strength of his braised, then rested, then braised and rested again soy-flavored duck. I’ve never seen that before and don’t understand how it works but it looked good as hell.
7. Maria Mazon
NBC Universal
Aka: Gas Can.
Notable critique: “Whooo, spicy.”
Chef Maria loves tacos, her special ingredient was Mexican chocolate, and she somehow made a mole in 30 minutes during the elimination round (in which her team finished second). Pretty impressive. She then made enchiladas in the elimination round that didn’t seem to make much of an impression beyond spice, even though they looked and sounded bomb as hell.
I’m naming her “Gas Can” on account of she has a gas can tattoo on her arm. Look, not every nickname is going to be super creative, okay?
6. Brittany Anderson
NBC Universal
Aka: St. Pauli. Hot Chocolate. Stifler’s Mom.
Self-Applied Description Of Cooking Style: “Modern Alpine.”
Notable Quote: “Since quarantine started I taught myself how to tattoo.”
Critique of Dish: “It’s like sweet on sweet.”
I’m nicknaming Brittany St. Pauli on account of she looks like the girl on the St. Pauli Girl bottle. And Hot Chocolate on account of she looks like the girl on the Swiss Miss hot chocolate packets. Plus, I figured naming an Aryan woman Hot Chocolate is kind of like calling a fat guy Tiny. So that’s a little taste of my process over here.
Anyway, I believe Brittany is Top Chef‘s first fondue specialist. Her desert island ingredient was gruyere and she ended up having to make a cheese gremolata. That sounds incredibly strange and her team still finished in the top two. That would’ve been good for top five in these rankings, but the judges didn’t seem wowed by her “chukar with sweet potato pureé and red grape ravigote.” I don’t know what all those words mean but it sounded good to me.
5. Gabe Erales
NBC Universal
AKA: The Other Gabe. Canelo. Fozzy. The Foz.
Self-Described Cooking Style: “I want to highlight the different aspects of Mexican cuisine that go against the stereotypes.”
Gabe has clearly been named “Gabe” to distinguish him from the show’s other Gabe, who is going by “Gabriel.” I really wish they’d just called them “Gabe E.” and “Gabe P.”, elementary school-style. Anyway, I appreciated that the editors juxtaposed Gabe’s mission statement, “I want to make the kind of Mexican food that you probably haven’t heard of” directly with Maria saying “I love to make tacos.” Personally, I love both stereotypical and non-stereotypical Mexican food, so I’m glad I’m not the one who has to choose.
Gabe landed in the bottom with Dawn and Jamie but then made the top four with his “chintesle-glazed duck with figs, charred onions, and pasilla mixe.” Again, I don’t know what almost any of those words mean but it looked really good.
4. Nelson German
NBC Universal
Aka: Papa Bear. Mofongo. Tostones.
Papa Bear made a surf and turf mofongo in the quickfire and a Caribbean-brased chukar with black beans and tostones in the elimination round, receiving solid-if-unspectacular reviews for both. One judge said of Nelson “he’s putting his culture on a plate” which is both high praise on Top Chef and a reason to finish your drink if you’re playing the Top Chef drinking game.
Papa Bear didn’t earn any superlatives from the judges just yet but he’s a leader in the clubhouse for “knowing your brand.”
3. Kiki Louya
NBC Universal
Aka: Aunt Sassy. Peppers.
Kiki didn’t get much screen time this episode but she seems generally bubbly and gregarious. Definitely not a “not here to make friends” type. She seems like she actually is there to make friends. Her special ingredient was scotch bonnet peppers and she was on the winning team in the quickfire. She didn’t make the top in the elimination round but the only real critique she received of her moambe quail was that the judges “wanted more sauce,” to which Padma added “and more quail.”
So… bigger portions, is it? I can get behind that. That’s generally my biggest criticism of food. This is good, but couldn’t there be more? Make more food, Kiki!
2. Gabriel Pascuzzi
NBC Universal
AKA: Gabe P. Chad. Patriarchy. Patriuzzi. Mr. Mackie.
Notable Quote: “I used to work for Tom Colicchio.”
Even if he didn’t appear to be the only white male competitor, Gabe P. immediately distinguished himself as an early villain contender when he name-dropped Tom Colicchio (who he used to work for) to justify why he knew how to plate his dish. “Uh, I think I know how to plate, okay? I used to work for Tom Colicchio.”
He even pronounced it with italics. Tom Colicchio. You could sense the emphasis in his voice.
Gabe P. also trims his beard too close to his jawline in the manner of Donald Trump Jr./Derek Carr/Mr. Mackie from South Park. Total villain move. Still, he was one of only two chefs to land on the top side of both challenges, and the judges loved his “roasted squab with local honey, onion petals, grilled plums and jus,” so has to be considered an early favorite. The petals are the most underrated part of the onion, I always say.
Notable Quotes: “I do not do technology well.” “I make baller sauces.”
Notable Critique: “It’s like a flavor explosion in every bite.”
Chef Sara is a Portland local and I like to imagine that she embodies all those classically Pacific Northwestern traits: being faux outdoorsy, non-committal, falsely humble, dressing like a kindergartner, and generally seeming like the kind of person who humblebrags that they don’t watch TV (sorry, Sara, I only went extra hard here because my editor is from Portland).
Anyway, Tom said her dish “clearly came from a confident chef” which turned out to be the biggest whiff ever when Sara spent the entire show acting flustered and self-critical. Or so it would seem, if you didn’t know it was all an act! They’re all fake humble up there, I tell ya! Oregon: Land Of The Phonies!
Sara had immunity from a quickfire win and won the elimination challenge anyway, so it’d be impossible to deny her the top spot here.
Until next week!
Vince Mancini is onTwitter. You can access his archive of reviewshere.
BTS are worldwide superstars and if there’s any doubt about that, their 2020 stands as proof to their extreme success. The K-pop group landed three No. 1 songs on the singles charts, including “Life Goes On” and “Dynamite,” while snagging the title of best-selling artist last year as well. Add in the fact that they had nearly all of 2020’s most popular tweets and it’s clear BTS’ stardom reaches all corners of the world.
The South Korean natives are preparing to give their adoring fans a new project, and to begin its rollout they shared their new single, “Film Out,” with an explosive new video. The visual starts off rather calm as the members of BTS walk around a room and reminisce on their good times together.
Things take a dramatic turn when a fiery explosion interrupts the peace. The song was written in collaboration with Iyori Shimuzi of the Japanese trio Back Number and will be featured as in the upcoming Japanese film, Signal The Movie Cold Case Investigation Unit. “Film Out” will also appear on the group’s upcoming album, BTS, The Best. The Japanese-language project will be comprised of new songs and tracks that the group has released since 2017. BTS, The Best will arrive on June 17.
Press play on the new track in the video above.
BTS, The Best is out 6/17 via Big Hit Entertainment. Get it here.
The Season 5 trailer for Rick and Morty finally arrived earlier in the week, but April Fool’s Day also brought fans a very juvenile short from the Sanchez family. Adult Swim posted the new clip on Thursday, which showed the cartoon’s characters in a much younger state than they usually explore the universe.
While the recent Animal Crossing mashup short put Rick and Morty into the Nintendo video game, this one actually de-aged the pair along with everyone else in the Rick and Morty universe. The beginning of the video is a recreation of part of the show’s opening credits, with a baby Rick diving into a portal cannonball-style.
There’s even a baby Summer and Mr. Poopy Butthole that make an appearance, but there’s also plenty of room for absolute weirdness in here. At one point, a baby Rick gives birth to what looks like an elderly Morty, a baby Morty tries to sneak into an R-rated movie to no avail, and we get a robot’s point of view as it changes baby Morty’s diaper.
Even the monsters chasing the crew from Rick and Morty Babies is pretty cute, relatively speaking. It’s unclear if the 30-second spot is a teaser of something that will come up in Season 5 or a brief departure from the main canon to just give fans a taste of a fun concept. But it’s now added to a growing list of fun shorts that have kept fans occupied while they wait for more of the real thing.
While there was plenty of backlash surrounding Lil Nas X and last week’s “Montero (Call Me By Your Name)” video, the singer adding to the controversy with the release of his “Satan Shoes.” In collaboration with MSCHF, the singer released 666 pairs of the sneakers: a customized pair of Nike Air Max 97s that came with a pentagram as well as ink and a singular drop of human blood injected to the shoe’s sole. The release didn’t sit too well with Nike as they sued MSCHF earlier this week and obtained a temporary restraining order to ban the company from completing orders of the Satan Shoes.
Unfortunately for Nike, MSCHF said that all but one pair of the shoes were shipped, with the remaining one being the 666th pair. According to The Verge, the viral company said it will not ship the final pair of the Satan Shoes as a result of the court order. MSCHF says that the original plan for the 666th pair of the sneaker collaboration with Lil Nas X was to give it away in on April 2, a plan that is now on hold due to the lawsuit.
MSCHF’s attorney spoke about a judge’s ruling against the Satan Shoes in a statement that said the shoes are “not typical sneakers, but rather individually-numbered works of art that were sold to collectors for $1,018 each,” adding that consumers most likely knew the sneakers were not connected to Nike “given the sophistication of purchasers.”
sorry guys i’m legally not allowed to give the 666th pair away anymore because of the crying nerds on the internet https://t.co/URoj0kGnRq
Lil Nas also apologized for his inability to give away the final pair of shoes in a post to Twitter. “sorry guys i’m legally not allowed to give the 666th pair away anymore because of the crying nerds on the internet,” he said.
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