The Chicago Bears entered the 2021 NFL Draft without their quarterback of the future on the roster after moving on from Mitchell Trubisky. Chicago moved to add Andy Dalton as a veteran stop-gap but, despite their insistence on proclaiming him as “QB1” in the offseason, the Bears needed a plan for the long term. The issue, at least on paper, was that Chicago began the draft with the No. 20 pick, and it is challenging to find “the guy” at that slot in the first round. The Bears solved that problem with a draft-night move, though, sending multiple picks to the New York Giants to acquire the No. 11 pick and select Ohio State quarterback Justin Fields.
The price was lofty for Chicago, sending their No. 20 pick, their first round pick in 2022, their 2021 fifth round pick (164 overall) and their 2022 fourth round pick to New York to move up nine spots. Still, that is the kind of haul often required to find a centerpiece-level quarterback, and Fields has off-the-charts talent.
Fields emerged as a top-two prospect, alongside Trevor Lawrence, coming out of high school and after a transfer from Georgia, Fields was tremendous at Ohio State. As such, it was at least a mild surprise that he was even available at the No. 11 pick.
Ultimately, Fields became the fourth quarterback off the board behind Lawrence, Zach Wilson and Trey Lance, but he is a top-level talent that is worthy of this kind of swing from the Bears. Chicago’s front office is putting itself on the line with all kinds of pressure after the way the Trubisky experiment went, but the upside is considerable and this makes all the sense in the world.
This year’s NFL Draft was a mixture of a normal draft and last year’s virtual draft, as some top prospects like Trevor Lawrence, Penei Sewell, and Justin Fields stayed at home to watch the draft with their families, while others were in the green room in Cleveland for the festivities.
The reaction of players to getting drafted and fulfilling their lifelong dreams is always one of the best parts of watching the draft, whether it be at home or with the family allowed into the green room. Usually that involves a lot of hugs, handshakes, and maybe some tears, before they get ready to step out to the stage to get their hat and jersey. However, when Jaylen Waddle of Alabama was taken by the Dolphins, reuniting him with former Alabama quarterback Tua Tagovailoa, he had a very different reaction that caught the eye of the internet.
The angle from the ESPN broadcast was even funnier, as you see Waddle’s entire family explode in celebration as he simply stands up, turns from them, and walks out to go to the stage.
The video quickly went viral as fans couldn’t stop laughing at his incredibly cool reaction to being drafted and just kind of ghosting his family in the process to go dap up his former Alabama teammates as he strolled to the stage.
Now, ESPN would later show a shot of Waddle after he had gotten the call getting hugs in his chair from the family, so there was a celebration he took part in, but this is still a hilarious and legendary move.
Matt Gaetz has denied his reported sexual relationship with a 17-year-old girl, but apparently he doesn’t need to confess to anything because his confidant in illicit activities may have spilled the beans for him. Joel Greenberg, the disgraced former Orlando, Florida-area tax collector whose shady behavior got Gaetz embroiled in a federal investigation for a variety of alleged activities, apparently confessed to having sex with an underage girl and alleged that Gaetz did the same in a lengthy confession letter while trying to seek a pardon from the Trump White House.
According to a bombshell report from The Daily Beast, Gaetz’s friend and apparent co-conspirator actually wrote the confession letter that revealed details of criminal activities in an effort to get Trump lackey Roger Stone to help him secure a pardon before Trump left office.
“On more than one occasion, this individual was involved in sexual activities with several of the other girls, the congressman from Florida’s 1st Congressional District and myself,” Greenberg wrote in reference to the 17-year-old. “From time to time, gas money or gifts, rent or partial tuition payments were made to several of these girls, including the individual who was not yet 18. I did see the acts occur firsthand and Venmo transactions, Cash App or other payments were made to these girls on behalf of the Congressman.”
The letter, which The Daily Beast recently obtained, was written after Greenberg asked Roger Stone to help him secure a pardon from then-President Donald Trump.
The details of the letter are nearly as bizarre as the circumstances for which it was created and, later, found. Stone, who isn’t in jail because he got a pardon from Trump, was apparently communicating with Greenberg through an encrypted messaging app to negotiate the deal. But Greenberg reportedly took screenshots of those otherwise untraceable messages, and somehow did not get rid of drafts of the letter.
As part of the effort to obtain a pardon, Greenberg wrote multiple drafts of his confession letter. The Daily Beast obtained two typed versions and an earlier handwritten one. Certified forensic document examiner and handwriting expert Wendy Carlson compared the letter to writing samples obtained through two public records requests. She said it was her professional expert opinion that the person who authored a 2019 financial disclosure for Joel Greenberg, as well as Greenberg’s 2020 board of elections form, was the same as the author of the letter.
“The person who authored the forms has been identified as the person who authored the letter,” Carlson said.
Stone also reportedly denied to The Daily Beast that he asked for payment for his help, but their reporting clearly shows otherwise.
“I hope you are prepared to wire me $250,000 because I am feeling confident,” Stone apparently wrote to Greenberg on Jan. 13, a week after the riot at the US Capitol and days before Trump’s final flurry of pardons that did not include either Greenberg or Gaetz.
The full report had plenty of details about both the letter and communications between Stone and Greenberg for his ill-fated attempt to get a pardon. That letter also apparently included what happened when Greenberg found out the woman they both were having a sexual relationship was not of legal age.
“Immediately I called the congressman and warned him to stay clear of this person and informed him she was underage,” Greenberg wrote. “He was equally shocked and disturbed by this revelation.”
Greenberg continued in the handwritten draft that he “confronted” the then-17-year-old and explained to her “how serious of a situation this was, how many people she put in danger.”
“She apologized and recognized that by lying about her age, she endangered many people,” he continued. “There was no further contact with this individual until after her 18th birthday.”
It’s a bizarre string of new details in the case to say the least, and another connection between Gaetz and his friend Greenberg and the weird orbit of the Trump White House. Though neither Gaetz or Greenberg got a pardon out of the mess, their attempts to do so may be a big reason the public finds out more concrete details of the federal investigation into Gaetz and the crimes that Greenberg has apparently admitted to committing with his friend.
This week on Top Chef, it was time to celebrate both Portland’s designation as “The City Of Roses” — that classic nickname for Portland that we all know and use that was officially adopted in 2003 — and moms! Because it’s almost Mother’s Day, you see. And because there’s nothing my mom loves more than sinking her teeth into a juicy bouquet of Mother’s Day roses, the contestants’ challenge was to incorporate roses into a quickfire challenge dish that paid tribute to their mothers. Yum, flowers!
But first, Top Chef contestant and quickfire challenge guest judge Amar Santana showed the contestants how it’s done by incorporating roses into his pants:
NBC Universal
Somewhere off screen, Richard Blaise shed a single tear. “B-b-but being jaunty was my thing…”
After that, as if trying to incorporate rose into a dish wasn’t an arbitrary enough test of a chef’s skills, it was time for the Top Chef Drive-In challenge! In two teams, the contestants squared off in one-on-one rounds, cooking movie drive-in food tailored to a genre — comedy, drama, sci-fi, or horror. Christ, I thought making food “sexy” was hard. Imagine trying to cook 50 portions of something that is both “dramatic” and suitable to be eaten in a car.
Voila! It’s a play on smoked Milk Duds!
Both rounds involved the chefs having to stretch the theme to its breaking point in order to tie it back to food. Byron apparently did it right when he cooked “something fresh” in the rose challenge as a tribute to his mom’s “fresh start” as an immigrant in America. Gabriel apparently did it wrong when he tried to say his cauliflower tots with two dipping sauces represented “action.” Because of the “action” of dipping, which was also a “choose your own adventure.” I tend to think a thematic stretch is acceptable in direct proportion to how good the actual food is.
Yet those Top Chef producers are crazy like a fox because this convoluted impossible challenge did make for some great TV. Padma even got to act a little, in some Oscars-esque interstitial sketches introducing each round, like the Vanna White of Top Chef. So refreshing that the famous supermodel is finally getting a little screen time.
Both of these challenges were both weird and hard, and, as such, they played hell on these rankings. Almost everyone I had as a favorite after last week ate turds in either the quickfire or the elimination challenge this week, and all of last week’s underdogs shat roses in same. Honestly, you could just draw a big X over all the names and write “pick ’em” after this week. Nonetheless, I went with my gut, shot from the hip, gripped and ripped it, and what have you, in order to come up with this unimpeachable scientific analysis of basic cable food television. We can’t choose our gifts in this life, our gifts choose us.
Poor Jamie, eliminated juuuust before her inability to converse in anything but sound effects became endearing (I assume). It seemed Jamie’s biggest sin this week was letting her teammates walk all over her. “Just do another chicken wing dish,” they said. “Don’t fry the chicken so long,” they said.
Both of which turned out to be bad ideas, when Jamie served up a not-crispy chicken wing, a mortal chef sin. It was a bit of a shame, since chicken wings seem like solid drive-in food, and Jamie’s point that chickens are a weirdly consistent staple of comedy (rubber chickens, why did the chicken cross the road, etc) was actually low-key astute and insightful. Even if Jamie’s attempt to articulate this was about as lucid as an armpit fart.
ALSO — I would argue that Jamie was partly responsible for Byron’s win. She connected “chicken” to “comedy,” while Byron never even verbalized the high-larious pun (Korean Fried Chicken) that made his dish “comedy” in the first place. But because Jamie put the idea that chickens = comedy into everyone’s heads, Byron didn’t have to. Sad times for Jamie. That being said, her going home saves us who knows how many more episodes of having to pretend the sound effects thing is a hilariously endearing quirk.
Notable Critique: “A limp, rubbery chicken dish.”
10. (even) Nelson German
NBC Universal
AKA: Papa Bear. Cardio.
Nelson landed in the bottom three in the quickfire before roaring back in the elimination round, by conceptualizing a dish to fit the theme arguably better than anyone. His flying saucer-shaped pupusa, for the sci-fi round, an “Unidentified Dominican Object,” as he called it, was so good that it even beat Avishar’s equally conceptually successful frozen s’mores. Yet even after that I’m sort of at a loss to figure out who he should leapfrog in these rankings. Someone, probably…
Notable Critique: “I’d like to buy a dozen of these.”
9. (-2) Maria Mazon
NBC Universal
AKA: Gas Can. Backdraft. Tammy Faye. James Brown. Buns.
Seems like Maria spent almost this entire episode with her mascara smeared, either from crying about almost going home in the previous episode, or from the insane amount of effort she put in for her elimination challenge dish. It was truly a dish after my own heart when the hardest-working chef in show business chose to make a Sonoran hot dog (I can’t even calculate the amount of money I’ve spent on these over the years) for 50 people, for which she hand-made her own sausage and buns. This was to fit “action,” because they’re what you eat on the way home from the bars when you’re trying to get some “action,” Maria explained. More accurately, I feel like they’re more what you eat when you fail to get some action after a night out at the bars, but that’s just picking nits. And also maybe projecting.
In any case, it was truly an insane amount of effort, and for a thematically clever, contextually appropriate dish. And she ended up losing to… f*ckin’ Korean fried chicken!? I demand a recount!
I don’t know whether to move Maria up 10 slots for that dish or to drop her down for the fact that she didn’t win for something everyone was so clearly impressed by.
8. (-2) Chris Viaud
NBC Universal
AKA: Stretch. Butter. Kelso.
My man Chris won the quickfire challenge with his Haitian porridge and it turned out he needed that immunity in the elimination round. This when he turned in a rib dish so mediocre that he actually lost to a duo of popcorn. Damn, dog, you really lost to popcorn. This was for the “drama” round, by the way. I enjoyed that Chris made the case that “I think ribs are dramatic” without elaborating in any way. That’s a power move right there.
Notable Critique: “This is so messy. It’s the first dish and my buttons are already sticky.”
7. (+1) Byron Gomez
NBC Universal
AKA: Manolo. Burger King. Goldblum.
I’ve been saying Byron needed to show me something and this week he did, with a top three finish in the quickfire and a win in the elimination round. It’s truly impressive that he cooked “something fresh” as a tribute to his mom’s “fresh start” in America, and then “Korean fried chicken because comedy,” and not one judge said “I dunno, seems like kind of a stretch, bro.”
He didn’t even say “Korean fried chicken” when he introduced the dish, which was the whole “joke,” if it can be called that. I mean I guess it is sort of a play on words, which is adjacent to a pun, and puns are arguably in the vicinity of jokes. I’m going to nickname Byron “Goldblum,” after Jeff Goldblum’s character in Independence Day, who used exactly that kind of lateral thinking to give the aliens a computer virus.
That must’ve been some damned fine chicken though. Impressive that a concept and dish so straightforward could beat a totally-from-scratch Sonoran hotdog.
Notable Critique: “This was crispy and flavorful.”
6. (-2) Gabriel Pascuzzi
NBC Universal
AKA: Patriarchy. Evil Gabe. Chad. Bluto. Mr. Mackie. The Noodge.
This week Evil Gabe remained the show’s villain, but revealed some hidden layers, when he admitted that he was dedicating his Mother’s Day dish to his sister, rather than his mother, with whom he apparently has a difficult relationship. He made some kind of crudo/ceviche dish because “When she was pregnant, all my sister wanted to eat was raw fish.”
Uh, come again? Isn’t raw fish the exact thing you’re supposed to not eat while pregnant? I’ll leave that debate for the food scientists, but meanwhile, Gabriel’s choice to make a cauliflower tot in the elimination round, because the action of dipping into one of two sauces represented “choose your own adventure,” seemed even more dubious. The judges were skeptical, probably because it didn’t taste very good. As someone probably once said, “thematically weak and poorly executed is no way to go through life.”
Also, cauliflower tots? Come on, man! Buffalo cauliflower, which I actually have eaten in a movie theater (yes it was a Drafthouse) was right there! You could be all like “Hey, I made this Buffalo cauliflower to represent action, because this one time I got some action in Buffalo.”
I’m a freak / I like the girls with the boom / I once got busy in a Buffalo bathroom. -Shock G, RIP
Notable Critique: “Gummy and salty.”
5. (+6) Avishar Barua
NBC Universal
AKA: Milhouse. Chillhouse. Thrillhouse. American Pie. The Carbonator. Portmanteau. OH.
Thank God roses weren’t a Top Chef sponsor, or else we might never have heard Avishar bitch about how much he hates rose-flavored food. It was nice to hear, because honestly I don’t think I know anyone who loves rose-flavored food. Seems like a thing you either hate or are mostly indifferent to.
After that, Avishar took the sci-fi round and was inspired to create an entire backstory about how he was some alien who came to Earth and wanted to eat frozen s’mores or some shit. “Star s’mores,” as he called it at one point. In concrete terms, this basically meant that Avishar went back to the liquid nitrogen well. Turns out Avishar used to work under Wiley Dufresne at WD50, so there’s a reason he knows his way around space food. “He’s like a real nerd,” said Gail.
Revenge of the nerds
Injury was added to insult when Avishar managed to lose his sci-fi round to Nelson’s UDO, much to Tom Colicchio’s chagrin. Tom loved Avishar’s frozen s’more. Poor Avishar. He did the alien voice and everything!
Notable Critiques: “Avishar just nailed that.” “He’s like… a real nerd.”
Poor Sara saw all the big kids crushing it on the mic with their cool stories and puns and sex jokes and characters and she decided to give it a go herself. She introduced her milkshake. “Now that the drive-in is almost over I’m sure there’s still a lingering question, your place or is it mine?” Which went over about as well as this Padma screencap would indicate:
Bravo
This was for Sara’s “your place or mine” milkshake, which she presented for the “romance” round. And in so doing she managed to conflate the 1950s ideal of sweethearts sharing a two-strawed milkshake and deciding whose house to have sex at. Perfect for the contestant who’s always censoring her own swear words! And just to make sure we know that Sara is a Portlandia character come to life, the milkshake had “miso whip.” Hey, just put some Fruit Loops on it, right? Needs more matcha dust.
Sara still managed to win this round, on account of she was going against Gabe, who served people churros and liver. Is Sara still a favorite or have the judges gotten fed up with her bullshit? It’s honestly hard to tell.
Dawn hasn’t been getting much screen time or gotten many big wins lately, but it’s hard to remember the last time she made something bad. This episode, she made a fennel rosewater fritter (which looked weird yet good) and in the elimination round managed to beat Chris’s rib with a god damned duo of popcorn. Popcorn! Not only did Dawn win with popcorn, she managed to convince the judges that serving popcorn at a drive-in movie counted as “drama.” That’s not just mastery, it’s practically sorcery. I would have Dawn ranked at number one, except that I can’t quite justify it for a chef who served popcorn.
Notable Critique: “They had four hours to cook and Dawn made us… popcorn?”
2. (even) Shota Nakajima
NBC Universal
AKA: Beavis.
This was certainly a down week for Shota, who received some of the most brutal critiques of any contestant this season. Mostly though, he became a textbook example of When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong. Shota had “horror,” see, and what people occasionally misunderstand about horror is that they think it’s meant to actually be horrific. The truth is, horror movies are escapist — you get to pretend to be afraid of ghosts or creepy dolls or gypsy curses for two hours, to distract you from actually scary things like your mortality and the sense that existence is ultimately meaningless and so forth.
Thus, Shota embarked upon a horror challenge by describing a thing that actually scares him, the idea of something happening to his dog. Ah yes, no better way to whet people’s appetites than having them picture a dead dog! Shota even named the dog! He then served them a black corn dog with cheese inside and a bloody-red sauce, in order that they could better imagine the charred, bloody, pustulent corpse of Shota’s beloved pet dog, Dodger, if it had been horribly mangled in an accident and left to rot on the side of the road. Holy shit, man.
This was a bad idea for food, but Andy Kaufman-level genius as performance art. Even the judges were kind of like “this is disgusting, but I respect it.”
Speaking of which, I’m not futzing with Shota’s ranking too much this week, because how much can you knock a guy for getting too carried away with the challenge?
Notable Critiques: ““This does not look appetizing to me.” “It’s indescribable.” “I couldn’t finish it.”
1. (even) Gabe Erales
NBC Universal
AKA: Good Gabe. Canelo. Fozzy. The Foz. Masa Father. Jamón.
Oh Gabe. Gabe went full ham mode (jamón mode?) this week introducing his dish, a bloody seafood cocktail served with crackers, meant to represent horror, and the crowd ate it up. Thus proving Gabe may have a viable second career in acting or voice over. Unfortunately, the dish itself went over like a lead balloon and almost lost him his day job in the process.
It was so bad that Gabe actually lost to Shota’s imaginary dead dog cheese disaster. Turns out, a bad seafood cocktail on Saltines does not make a good dish (if it had been Maria she would’ve at least made her own Saltines from scratch. And came in third). I’ve always said that comedy is what you do when you’re bad at everything else, and Gabe proved that even the reverse is true: being momentarily good at comedy will even make you bad at things you were previously good at.
Gabe also sort of took ownership over his team’s team dessert, a churro that for some reason Gabe decided should be served with chicken liver mousse. This meant to illustrate “romance.” This may be the single most ill-conceived dish I’ve seen since I’ve been covering this show.
But like I said, these rankings were a gut decision, and after Gabe’s top finish in the quickfire and general on-a-rollness lately, I’m thinking he merely got all his bad decisions out of his system in one go and managed to not go home for it, which only bodes well for him.
Notable Critique: “I wish this dish was as good as his delivery.”
— Vince Mancini is onTwitter. You can access his archive of reviewshere.
It’s been two months since Lady Gaga’s dog walker Ryan Fischer was shot while he walked the singer’s French bulldogs, named Koji and Gustav, who were stolen after the shooting. The bizarre incident occurred in the Hollywood area, and luckily for the singer’s dog walker, he recovered from the gunshot wounds but unfortunately had a lung removed in the process.
The dogs were later found tied to a pole in an alley by a woman who claimed to have recognized them due to media coverage of the incident. According to a new report from Billboard, however, who received word from the Los Angeles Police Department, this woman was allegedly involved in dognapping and shooting.
On Thursday, multiple arrests were made in connection to the February incident. The following five individuals are currently in LAPD custody: James Jackson (18), Jaylin White (19), Lafayette Whaley (27), Harold White (40), and Jennifer McBride (50). Jackson, Jaylin White, and Whaley were each charged with one count of attempted murder and robbery while White and McBride were each charged with one count of accessory to attempted murder.
Billboard reports that McBride was the woman who returned the dogs to LAPD’s Olympic Community Police Station on February 26 in hopes of claiming the $500,000 reward that Lady Gaga offered for the dogs’ return. Despite the singer initially saying she’d “gladly” reward McBride for returning her dogs, the LAPD apparently told Gaga to hold off on the payment. Which, if the charges hold up, turned out to be great advice.
Earlier today, Netflix dropped the first trailer for Sweet Tooth, a DC Comics-based science-fiction series headed to the streaming service in just over a month. While the name might ring a bell for more avid readers, there’s no denying Sweet Tooth is a bit more niche than the comics folks have come to associate with powerhouse publisher DC Comics and their former imprint Vertigo. However, if there’s something the comic book movie craze has taught us, it’s that lesser known does not mean lesser quality, and ventures into these smaller properties can offer fans an exciting chance to discover stories previously unheard.
While we plan on letting Sweet Tooth do most of the talking when it hits Netflix on June 4, here is a bit more about the series to clear up any questions you might have now and get you even more hyped for the “Max Max meets Bambi” adventure.
Created by comic book writer Jeff Lemire — who is known for his work across both Marvel and DC Comics — Sweet Tooth is a post-apocalyptic series that ran from 2009 to 2013 and spanned 40 issues. The comics follow a young boy named Gus (later given the titular nickname, “Sweet Tooth”) who was born just a bit different looking than his parents: half-deer, to be precise. We come to find out that Gus isn’t the only animal-human hybrid, but is rather just one of many children faced with the same unusual condition. At the same this is happening, a plague is beginning to wipe out mankind, and many scientists believe the children might have something to do with it.
After a tragic occurrence at home, Gus is forced to leave his secluded Nebraska home (which looks significantly more Pacific-Northwest in the show) and team up with Tommy Jepperd as he faces hunters, scientists, and betrayal. While wide-eyed Gus and charming scenery might make this story seem a bit lighthearted and fanciful, Sweet Tooth is anything but, at times becoming extremely dark, bloody, and bleak. While the whole aforementioned “Mad Max meets Bambi” description fits pretty well, the gamers out there might feel the series invokes some real The Last of Us vibes — a property that’s also getting the streaming service treatment here soon.
With Robert and Susan Downey producing, Jim Mickle directing, and a cast featuring Nonso Anozie, Will Forte, Adeel Akhtar, James Brolin, and newcomer Christian Convery, Sweet Tooth is looking to be a sweet time — when it’s not being incredibly sad, that is. Pending any delays, the show is set to hit Netflix on June 4th.
NFL Draft night has become quite the spectacle ever since the league moved the first round to primetime on Thursday, allowing the best and brightest prospects to get the spotlight all to themselves, before the later rounds on Friday and Saturday. As such, Draft night fashion has become as big for players as, say, award show fashion is for actors and actresses in Hollywood.
Players make sure to look their best and show a little personality with their outfits, whether that be with a flashy suit, shoes, or jewelry. Custom chains, suits, four-figure shoes and more have become commonplace, so it really takes something special to stand out at this point, but Patrick Surtain II managed to do just that. The Alabama cornerback and son of former NFL DB Patrick Surtain is set to hear his name called on Thursday night in the first round, potentially in the top 10-15 picks.
Surtain showed off his Draft night fit to Tyler Tynes and GQ Sports, embracing his PS2 initials with the best chain in Draft history — an iced out PlayStation 2 controller (that lights up) with Surtain written on it made by Leo Frost.
spent most of the day talking to a few 1st round picks about their fits for the day, but nothing impressed more than Patrick Surtain II’s (@PatSurtainll) “PS2” chain that Leo Frost (@itcoststofrost) made for him pic.twitter.com/N1DYpKwKsE
It is a truly incredible piece and the most creative use of one’s initials in some time — the initial + number formula has been used for ages, but in this case Surtain spins it into something far better than just a chain that reads “PS2” or something. A PS2 controller charm (even if it’s a later model controller, who cares) is truly legendary, and while we’ll have to wait a few more hours to find out where Surtain is going to be starting his NFL career, he’s already won Draft night.
We’ve already seen a glimpse of what Guy Ritchie’s Wrath Of Man will look like when it steals its way into theaters on May 7. But before that, we’ve got a new Red Band trailer to really see what Jason Statham is up to in a cash truck security guard heist film. Which apparently starts with Statham’s character getting shot and watching his own son die before his eyes of his own gunshot wounds.
The bloody trailer sets the scene for revenge for Statham, who wants to track down who killed his son and ends up doing a lot of shooting along the way as an armored truck driver. The most notable part of the trailer, though, is when he kills a man listed as “Robber #6” in the movie’s IMDB page. Despite the generic name for the role, it’s rapper Post Malone, who gets an expletive-filled line in before H, at least presumably, kills him for being unhelpful in his investigation.
“If he’s not a cop, then what is he?” asks one voice late in the trailer.
“He’s a dark f*cking spirit,” another voice answers.
Here’s the official synopsis:
A mysterious and wild-eyed new cash truck security guard (Jason Statham) surprises his coworkers during a heist in which he unexpectedly unleashes precision skills. The crew is left wondering who he is and where he came from. Soon, the marksman’s ultimate motive becomes clear as he takes dramatic and irrevocable steps to settle a score.
The movie is an Americanized version of another film, “Le Convoyeur,” which was directed by Nicolas Boukhrief. We’ll have to see if Statham can find the people responsible when the movie opens next month.
When it comes to crafting great whiskey (specifically bourbon, which is today’s topic) there are four main components. The first is the water. You need a great source of water to make amazing whiskey. The second is the grains. When it comes to bourbon, corn is center stage. Pair it with rye, wheat, or barley. Add water and grain to the next most important ingredient — yeast — to ferment your mash and create alcohol before distilling and filtering your spirit.
Now comes arguably the most important step in the whiskey-making process — aging. Time spent in a barrel imparts flavor, smoothens harsh edges, and adds layers of nuance to the raw “juice.” When it comes to maturing bourbon, the wood used might be the most important piece, in terms of the eventual flavor. In fact, there are specific rules about using new American Oak.
Almost as important as the wood itself is the char on that wood. Along with bourbon‘s rule about new American Oak, there are also rules that the barrel must be charred. This is done to varying degrees — with four primary levels of char. The charred wood creates a carbon filter between the wood and the whiskey. It removes congeners and various nasty flavors and aromas from the top layer of the wood, while releasing flavors like vanilla, caramel, toffee, and brown sugar. Those flavors intensify or mellow depending on everything from the level of char to the time spent in the barrel to where that barrel is rested in the rickhouse for however long it ages.
To find the best bottles to illustrate the power of the barrel, we reached out to some of our favorite bartenders and asked them to tell us their picks for bourbon whiskeys with charred and woody flavor notes. Check their answers below!
Wild Turkey Rare Breed is a barrel-proof exemplar of what a #4 Alligator char can do. There is so much flavor packed into this bad boy! Vanilla, spice, leather, a whisp of smoke. Add a few drops of water and out comes the black pepper.
Four Roses Single Barrel is an excellent choice for those who like an oak-forward expression in their bourbon. The oakiness hits right up front on the nose and evolves into raspberry, cherry, very dark chocolate, and woody spice. It makes for a deep, complex Old Fashioned especially when made with a hefty Demerara sugar syrup whose dark, molasses notes really round out and counterbalance the oak.
Black Maple Hill Bourbon Small Batch is one of my favorite charred oak bourbons. Its honey, caramel, grassy notes can be enjoyed sipping neat or on the rocks. In addition, it’s a great foundation of flavors for crafting cocktails.
Old Forester 1920
Old Forester
Austin Zimmer, bartender at Le Prive in New York City
Old forester 1920 is my pick. It’s a 115 proof with nuts, vanilla aromas, and seasoned oak. It has an excellent aroma rich and powerful, pretty unique.
Woodford Reserve Kentucky Straight Bourbon
Woodford Reserve
Emily Lawson, bartender at owner of Foxhole Public House in Bentonville, Arkansas
Woodford Reserve is an excellent example of a bourbon aged in charred barrels. Impeccably smooth while still showcasing the earthy, smokey oak barrel flavor elements. We love a Smoked Manhattan made with Pink House Alchemy’s smoldered bitters and Woodford Reserve bourbon.
Parker’s Heritage 10 Year: 2020 Heavy Char Edition
Heaven Hill’s Parker’s Heritage 10 year Bourbon: 2020 Heavy Char Edition. It can be pricey and can be hard to find, as there isn’t a lot made every year. While Parker was alive, Parker’s Heritage gave him the ability to choose certain barrels every year. Every year tastes different and 2020 focused on heavy char. Using a #5 heavy char on the barrels, which are burned on the inside for around a minute and 20 seconds.
The flavors are of charred oak, vanilla, and Crème brûlée followed by baking spices. Great to sip around the campfire with friends and family. Goes great with s’mores.
Redwood Empire Pipe Dreams Bourbon
Redwood Empire
Justin Frierson, beverage director and operating partner at Eleven | Eleven in Chicago
Redwood Empire Pipe Dreams Bourbon. This bourbon has a lower proof with a nice medium body. A playful combination of jammy orange, cherry, and sweet corn. Subdued peppery/spice notes on the back. Overall, an energetic and complex bourbon that is nuanced and fun to sip. I have the best time tasting guests out on this bourbon. It always makes a great first impression and has even had guests order themselves a bottle online, on the spot.
It is also an excellent gift idea to anyone who collects bourbon. It is value-driven which also moves the entire Redwood Empire series way above expectations.
Belle Meade Bourbon. This award-winning bourbon from Tennessee is made using a blend of high-rye bourbons. It’s filled with flavors like dried cherries, maple syrup, spicy rye, and noticeable charred oak.
First released in 2014, this unique whiskey starts with Michter’s US-1 Kentucky Straight Bourbon that gets aged a second time in custom-made, toasted barrels. The result is a caramel-filled, extra oaky, vanilla bomb of a whiskey.
Similar to Michter’s. Elijah Craig Toasted Barrel begins as a fully matured Elijah Craig Small Batch that gets finished in a proprietary toasted oak barrel. This imparts extra woody, oaky, and rich honey flavors.
As a Drizly affiliate, Uproxx may receive a commission pursuant to certain items on this list.
Lorde is back! Well, she’s back reviewing onion rings, at least, and we’re here for it. In her first onion ring review of 2021, the world’s most famous onion ring aficionado reviewed the Pickled Onion Rings at Auckland’s Hotel Ponsonby, which serves elevated English pub fare.
We’re talking PICKLED onion rings which is a first for this reviewer. I totally vibe the concept — used to eat pickled onions out of the jar as a youngster — however I think if you’re gonna go there, go there, and let acidity rather than sweetness dominate. Absolutely sensational batter, perhaps the best I’ve tried. 4/5 overall ringsperience.
This is a solid review and will surely lead to a ring boom at Hotel Ponsonby. It was also glowing enough to motivate us to break out the ol’ wok and try these rings for ourselves (since we’re probably not going to be in Auckland anytime soon).
To master this recipe, I looked into New Zealand pickled onion culture (yes, that’s a thing). There’s actually a fair number of recipes for pickled onions throughout New Zealand’s food media outlets. The thing is, I don’t really have a week to let something pickle in a dark cupboard. So I took my cues from New Zealander’s recipes and adapted them to make it doable in about an hour with a sous vide.
I’ve used my sous vide to make a lot of pickles (root veg, eggs, fish, etc.) in the past and it really only takes about an hour to have a fully-brined pickle. For this recipe, that sped-up process will do nicely.
Lastly, I really focused on the batter. I knew it had to be something “sensational” for Lorde to give it full marks. So I made sure I was devising something that’d have a beautifully crunchy exterior while still providing a softer interior, leading to the briny and savory pickled onion inside. That’s enough preamble, let’s get into the recipe!
A quick note on the brine. This is where I’m drawing acidity from. There’s a low amount of salt and sugar that’ll give you that “briny” edge of a pickle. Then the addition of apple cider vinegar will bring that mild pH acidic vibe to the whole thing.
Otherwise, you do you on the pickle brine spices. If you want it spicier, add more chilis. Mix and match with seeds and barks. Overall, this is a mild pickle brine with a classic edge that leans towards the New Zealand-centric pickle recipes I found online.
Zach Johnston
Ring batter:
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup corn starch
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 bottle or can of pilsner (more as needed)
2 egg yolks
Large pinch of salt
White pepper
Other:
Two yellow onions
Neutral oil
Aioli
Salt
Another quick note: As you can see in the image below, I’ve removed the inner skins between the layers of the onion. This is crucial for a bite-able onion ring. If you’ve ever had an onion ring that immediately slid out of the batter, it was because of that slippery film that’s between every layer. It takes a little extra time but is as easy as simply pulling the skin off after you’ve made your rings.
Zach Johnston
What You’ll Need:
Large Zip-lock bag
Sous vide circulator
Large pot
Small pot
Large bowl
Whisk
Wok or deep fryer
Slotted spoon
Metal grate and baking sheet
Paper towels
Tongs
Method:
For the pickled onions:
Set the sous vide circulator to 185F/85C in a large pot of water.
Add the water, vinegar, salt, and sugar to a small pot and bring to a boil to dissolve the salt and sugar. Remove from heat and let cool for ten minutes.
Peel and slice onions, making sure to remove the film between each layer of the onion as you push out the rings (it should slide right off).
Add the spices and onions to the Zip-lock bag. Pour the warm brine into the bag.
Immerse the bag into the bath and use the pressure of the water to remove any excess air and seal the bag. Use a clip to hold the bag to the side of the large pot.
Cook the onion rings for 30 minutes.
Prepare an ice bath. When the 30 minutes are up, place the Zip-lock bag into the ice bath to stop the cooking and cool the pickled onion rings.
Zach Johnston
For the onion rings:
Combine flour, corn starch, baking powder, salt, and white pepper in a large bowl.
Add the egg yolks and beer while whisking until you get a thin batter (sort of halfway between a crepe and pancake batter).
Lay the onion rings on a paper towel and pat dry.
Heat about one-half gallon of neutral oil in a wok or heavy-bottomed pot (I used sunflower) to 375F/190C.
Using tongs, dip the rings into the batter and then gently lay them into the hot oil, creating a single layer of onion rings.
After about one minute, flip the rings with the tongs to brown them evenly on both sides.
After another minute, remove the onion rings to a rack over a baking sheet. Immediately hit with a pinch of salt.
Repeat until all the rings are fried.
Serve with aioli dip.
Bottom Line:
Zach Johnston
I love fried pickle chips, so I knew I was going to love these. And, wow, thank you, Lorde, for turning me onto pickled onion rings. These are, hands down, some of the best onion rings I’ve ever tasted. And they were without a doubt the #1 best rings I’ve ever made. The onion was soft and hot with a deep pickle brine that had a touch of heat and acidity. The sweetness was there but tied more to the onion than sugar. Really though, the sweetness took a back seat to the overall brininess of the onion.
The batter was freaking sensational. The addition of corn starch allowed the batter to be super crunchy on the outside while still feeling supple on the inside. Moreover, as these rings cooled down (onion rings always get cold too fast), the batter stayed super crunchy.
Zach Johnston
Using aioli as a dipping sauce is a win as well (I used some good stuff from Spain). The lemon/garlic/mayo feel was the perfect counterpoint to the pickle brine and crunchy batter of the ring. This was comfort food in its purest form.
Finally, there was the side-by-side look of these rings compared to Lorde’s. You can judge for yourself below. I haven’t tasted my competition, but I do know that this is the only way I’ll be making onion rings from here on out. Lorde, if you’re ever near Uproxx’s offices — we got you.
OnionRingsWorldwide/Zach Johnston
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