Jimmy Kimmel and Ted Cruz’s feud shows no sign of slowing down.
Last week, the sh*tposting senator shared a Russian propaganda video in an attempt to shame America’s “woke, emasculated military.” He has been endlessly mocked ever since, including by the Jimmy Kimmel Live! host, who brought up the tweet during his monologue on Monday. “Ted Cruz, who four years ago took permanent residence up the ass of a man who beat him in every election by calling his wife ugly and slandering his elderly father, says this is emasculating. Primarily because Ted Cruz is not human. He is a moist, gelatinous tubeworm whose elastic-band pants are filled with an inky discharge every time he speaks,” he said, adding, “Maybe this would be more Ted’s speed.”
“Ted’s speed” is however fast he can get out of Texas during a crisis. Anyway, in response to the insult, Cruz tweeted, “[Jimmy Kimmel] keeps talking crap. Really tough guy. Here’s a reminder, when we played one-on-one, I kicked his ass. He has to live with that… forever. Rematch, punk?” He’s referring to the basketball game they played for charity in 2018, where the late-night host asked the senator, “Did you spend more time this week practicing basketball than trying to get those kids out of that detention center?”
A potential rematch will have to wait, as Kimmel did not accept Cruz’s invitation.
Oh Ted… you get so sad after you masturbate. https://t.co/8fxCzUNwqg
— Jimmy Kimmel (@jimmykimmel) May 25, 2021
Just a typical Monday night for Ted. Watch the monologue above.