Certain members of Congress seem very, very afraid of Rep. Liz Cheney (R-WY) and can’t seem to handle how she’s attempting to repair the GOP’s tattered status in a post-Trump D.C. For some unknown reason, these mostly male members of Congress can’t seem to envision a future without the reality star. That much is obvious from Ted Cruz’s proud Mar-a-Lago photo op with the guy who mercilessly attacked his wife’s looks. And Sen. Lindsey Graham is still ride-or-die on that Trump Train, too, with a bizarre refusal to let go of the guy who got voted out of office.
“Can we move forward without President Trump?” Graham told Fox News. “The answer is no. I’ve always liked Liz Cheney but she’s made a determination that the Republican Party can’t grow with President Trump. I’ve determined we can’t grow without him.”
Lindsey Graham: Can we move forward without President Trump? The answer is no. I’ve always liked Liz Cheney but she’s made a determination that the Republican Party can’t grow with President Trump. I’ve determined we can’t grow without him. pic.twitter.com/ptdo7AQCKD
One might wonder if this is more about Graham’s distaste for Cheney, and surely, there’s that, too. Mostly though, this is about him being able to cut the cord from his Trump addiction. It’s strange stuff! A few months ago, Lindsey even weirdly ranted about wanting to “harness” Trump’s mojo or magic or something. This guy has a weird power over certain segments of the GOP, and people sure are dragging Lindsey hard, especially after all the mean things that Trump said about him.
One thing is certain: big Succession vibes are coming your way…
Ted Cruz and Lindsey Graham have definitely played Boar on the Floor at Mar-a-Lago. https://t.co/fboPTYwxNF
— Republicans against Trumpism (@RpsAgainstTrump) May 7, 2021
Lindsey the pilot fish Graham is small. He’s a vile creature. Spineless. Gutless. Pathetic. Craven. Yellow. He’s so weak it’s actually sad. He cannot quit the former guy. He can’t. We all know this video. But it’s still the one I turn to when I need to remind myself and others. pic.twitter.com/E6JBW72Otw
Let me state the obvious here: no shortage of comic-book adaptations exist about white dudes (and green-skinned ladies), both heroes and villains, who find themselves propelled by daddy issues. You can’t swing Thor’s hammer without hitting several of these similarly afflicted characters who largely hail from the MCU (although it’s debatable who’s suffered more anguish, Gamora, Peter Quill, or even Tony Stark, so I’ll make like a trickster here and go with Loki). Image Comics doesn’t shy away from the trope, either, as the recently adapted Invinciblequickly revealed on Amazon Prime, and now, the publishing house is finding a home for another title, Jupiter’s Legacy, on Netflix as part of its overarching deal with Mark Millar’s Millarworld umbrella. The daddy issues weigh in heavily here, although it’s for a substantial reason.
Again, the issues-with-parents focus obviously isn’t new for comic-book projects. Heroes and villains might be practically indestructible but often remain vulnerable to inner frailty, but as with most Mark Millar material, there’s a deeper focus. And the show also arrives at a time when we’ve grown accustomed to watching superhero “league”-style showdowns with dark forces as all kinds of collateral damage goes down. Jupiter’s Legacy does make several nods toward such action scenes and contains several of them. Yet this series takes a look at how a younger generation would react to seeing their Boomer-esque parents be the very first superheroes on Earth. The inherent tensions, the feelings of doubt, the “latchkey kid”-type resentments that might linger, they’re all there and unprecedented in this context, at least for this version of Earth.
What Jupiter’s Legacy comes down to is this: it’s certainly about superhero-ing, yet it’s much more of a family drama at heart. While writing the comic, Millar (with an assist from artist Frank Quitely) found inspiration from William Shakespeare, and boy, does it show. The set-up is essentially Hamlet with power-infused people in tights. The superhero protagonist, Sheldon Sampson/The Utopian (portrayed by a heavily bearded and grizzled, although ripped, Josh Duhamel), experiences a jarring trauma, which is quite Shakespearean in nature and sets up the vibe for the whole first season. Also, Sheldon’s not sure whether his son, Brandon (Andrew Horton), has inherited the ability to be the next The Utopian, but he’s definitely inherited the tendency toward theatrics.
Netflix
Brandon has a conflicted sister, Chloe (played by Elena Kampouris), and the two attempt to navigate power dynamics that test loyalties and the bounds of family. Can the new generation live up to the unique code of Dad, Mom (Leslie Bibb), and Uncle Walter (Ben Daniels)? Will the first gen retire, and can they handle watching their ideals be supplanted? The answer is a layered one, and although Jupiter’s Legacy might not be as flashy as other recent offbeat superhero series, it’s an engrossing ride to take.
Of course, Millar’s skewed take on superheroes generally makes things weird, as one might expect from the Kick-Ass and Wanted creator. And if you are familiar with his work on Kingsman, you know that Mark Millar enjoys tossing in an opaque critique of a subject that can be politically dicey, and sometimes, it’s not entirely clear whether he’s straight-up critiquing or playing with satire-fire. There’s some of that in Jupiter’s Legacy, which holds a death-of-capitalism theme on its surface, and that arc includes decades full of flashbacks. There’s also an epic journey undertaken by Young Sheldon (that’s not a Big Bang Theory prequel reference, I swear), and the mythology that unfurls throughout the season is one that Millar fans (and nerds in general) should enjoy.
That’s even the case during uncomfortable moments when these characters feel burdened by their anguish. And the family must grapple with the fact that, yeah, they are celebrities, so everyone’s watching their drama go down. The voyeuristic aspects do work well, and there’s also a superficial diversion that I must mention, if you don’t mind.
What piqued my interest about the casting of Josh Duhamel is that he looks quite unlike himself in this show. Now, Duhamel is a handsome man. He is a very handsome man who looks a lot like many other tall, slender, brown-haired, handsome men in Hollywood. Google “Josh Duhamel looks like,” and you’ll see a lot of names: Timothy Olyphant, Johnny Knoxville, Eric Dane, and so on. I’d toss Joel McHale in there (although he also looks like Ryan Seacrest), as well as Armie Hammer (although no one wants to be compared to him these days, Josh Duhamel did recently replace Hammer in Shotgun Wedding). My point is this: Josh Duhamel is almost interchangeably handsome and rarely strays from looking like his very handsome self in projects. A litmus test: If one Googles “Josh Duhamel unrecognizable,” you’ll only see one of his old Halloween costumes. So, it was high time for Josh Duhamel to do a project where he wasn’t all Duhamel-ed up, and Jupiter’s Legacy is that series.
However, be warned that dual timelines exist on this show, so while we do see a lot of what one character refers to as the “hot Santa” look from Duhamel, he also looks, well, like himself during younger years. Still, I’m willing to work with this because Jupiter’s Legacy isn’t what people are expecting from a superhero series at this moment. It’s atypical but not outrageously so, and it attempts to dive into heady themes while also rolling around in spandex-clad excess with pulpy throwbacks in the mix. It’s a swell way to spend a handful of hours, especially if you dig that Shakespeare-type drama.
Netflix is ready to roll into May with a whole buffet of entertainment options to keep us going strong on the weekends. This week, they’re giving us a new true-crime option that promises to (at least) bathe an old case in a new light, and be forewarned, you might lose a little sleep (in the best way) if that’s your cup of spooky tea. In addition, the streaming service is getting back into the original superhero-series game (after the shuttering of The Defenders offerings a few years ago) with their first Millarworld adaptation. Revisiting a musical superstar is also on the menu, along with a few fresh original movies. As usual, you’ll never be able to watch everything on this list on this particular weekend, yet we’re here to give you the highlights and help you choose wisely.
Here’s everything else coming to (and leaving) the streaming platform this week.
Jupiter’s Legacy (Netflix series streaming on 5/7)
Kick-Ass and Kingsman creator Mark Millar is to thank for this epic superhero series, starring a heavily bearded Josh Duhamel as The Utopian. He’s the head of a superhero family that’s hoping to pass the torch to a new generation, but (no real surprise) things aren’t going smoothly on that end. Yes, this description does evoke shades of Robert Kirkman’s Invincible (currently running on Amazon), but the vibe is less R-rated and also entertaining on its own merits. No spoilers here, but there are twists involved with this family’s ethics as heroes, and the show answers a lot of questions left open by Marvel Studios’ The Avengers with all of its collateral damage.
The Sons of Sam: A Descent into Darkness (Netflix limited series streaming 5/5)
Netflix continues to delve deeper into the true crime realm with new selections every month, from the ongoing Unsolved Mysteries revival to bingeworthy limited series like Murder Among The Mormons and Joe Berlinger’s haunting Crime Scene anthology show. Now, the streamer is taking on the case of serial killer David Berkowitz, a.k.a. “Son of Sam,” who was arrested and convicted after a stream of murders in the late 1970s. Upon Berkowitz’s capture, New Yorkers felt a sense of relief after Berkowitz could no longer stalk the streets, but journalist Maury Terry (author of Ultimate Evil) didn’t rest easy. He felt convinced that Berkowitz had a partner (or more than one), and this limited documentary series will dive down the rabbit hole with him. This might be a cautionary tale or the path to the elusive truth or both.
Selena: The Series: Part 2 (Netflix series streaming 5/6)
Selena Quintanilla, who eventually became the Queen of Tejano Music, continues her years of hard work and sacrifice as she journeys from tiny gigs to becoming the biggest female Latin artist ever. The show embraces family and the power of dreaming to inspirational effect.
This harrowing story follows a teenage honor student who finds himself accused of felony murder. As one might expect, this brings life crashing down around him and threatens to topple his promising future in exchange for life in prison if convicted.
A recently bereaved truck driver takes an existential journey while coping with the thought of losing out a a young recruit on the job while also dealing with personal loss. In the process of all of this, he reaches a record mileage mark at his company, and this sounds a bit like a certain George Clooney movie that we’ve all seen, right? But grittier.
Here’s a full list of what’s been added in the last week:
Avail. 4/27 August: Osage County
Battle of Los Angeles
Fatma
Go! Go! Cory Carson: Season 4
Avail. 4/28 Sexify
Headspace Guide to Sleep
Avail. 4/29 Things Heard & Seen
Yasuke
Avail. 4/30 The Innocent
The Mitchells vs. The Machines
Pet Stars
The Unremarkable Juanquini: Season 2
Avail. 5/1 Aliens Stole My Body
Angelina Ballerina: Season 5 Angelina Ballerina: Season 6 Back to the Future
Back to the Future Part II
Back to the Future Part III
Barney and Friends: Season 13 Barney and Friends: Season 14 Best of the Best
Dead Again in Tombstone
Due Date
Fun with Dick and Jane
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
Green Zone
Hachi: A Dog’s Tale
JT LeRoy
Madagascar 3: Europe’s Most Wanted
Mystic River
Never Back Down
Notting Hill
Open Season
Resident Evil: Afterlife
Resident Evil: Extinction
S.M.A.R.T Chase
Scarface
SITTING IN LIMBO
Stargate
State of Play
The Land Before Time
The Land Before Time II: The Great Valley Adventure
The Lovely Bones
The Pelican Brief
The Sweetest Thing
The Whole Nine Yards
Under Siege
Waist Deep
Your Highness
Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Zombieland
Avail. 5/2 Hoarders: Season 11 Avail. 5/4 The Clovehitch Killer Selena: The Series: Part 2 Trash Truck: Season 2
Avail. 5/5 Framing John DeLorean
The Sons of Sam: A Descent into Darkness
Avail. 5/6 Dead Man Down
Avail. 5/7 Girl from Nowhere Jupiter’s Legacy Milestone Monster
Avail. 5/8 Mine
Sleepless
And here’s what’s leaving next week, so it’s your last chance:
Leaving 5/7 The Chosen Ones
House at the End of the Street
In January, Wyoming congresswoman Liz Cheney proved herself to be one of the Republican party’s more independent thinkers when she—gasp!—voted to impeach Donald Trump. But the GOP isn’t about to let that kind of traitorous act go unpunished. Trevor Noah dedicated nearly 10 minutes of Thursday night’s episode of The Daily Show to the current war on Cheney, and the (incredibly flawed) lengths to which the Republican party is willing to go to justify their blind loyalty to The Donald, which Trevor described as a current “defining principle” of the party.
As scary as that sounds, he’s right. How else would one explain the GOP’s continued fight to give Cheney the boot? They tried to oust Cheney—who, as chair of the House Republican Conference, is the third-ranking Republican—once before. And it looks as if another attempt to push the ejector button on her seat could come as soon as next week. But Cheney’s not just sitting idly and waiting for that to happen. In an op-ed for The Washington Post this week, she reminded her colleagues that “history is watching” and how they behave right now could be a “turning point” for their party.
While Noah thinks that turning point came a long time ago, he still took a moment to praise Cheney’s willingness to be one of the lone sane voices in the room.:
“I gotta give props to Liz Cheney, for risking her political career to stand up for what she believes in. Because you don’t see that very often, you know. It’s like seeing someone use an iPhone as an actual phone. You’re always like: Damn, sh*t, I totally forgot they could do that. Wow. Says what’s up to my grandmother for me, man.”
Even today—more than three months after Trump hightailed it out of the White House to become an old man who wanders around his golf course looking for weddings to crash—there are still ongoing efforts to overturn the results of the election in states where the votes were close. Of particular note? Arizona, where the Senate is in the midst of a third audit… despite the first two showing no evidence of voter fraud. The audit, it should be noted, is being overseen by individuals like Anthony Kern, a former lawmaker who reportedly took part in the insurrection at the Capitol. Way to spend that taxpayer money, folks. Third time’s a charm!
Dave Grohl tends to pull double duty as guest and musical act when Foo Fighters perform on a late-night show, and that’s what happened last night: The band took to Late Night to perform “Chasing Birds” and Grohl sat down for a chat with Seth Meyers. Meyers, being a former Saturday Night Live cast member and writer, often steers his Late Night conversations towards SNL when applicable, which yielded a great story about the time Nirvana was the musical guest a week that Charles Barkley hosted.
Grohl reminisced about shooting promos for the September 25, 1993 episode with Barkley, saying, “I remember our bass player, Krist Novoselic… Krist Novoselic is 6’8″, OK? The bass player for Nirvana is very tall. And I remember when we were doing the promos on the Thursday before the show, I remember seeing Krist tower over Charles Barkley and thinking, ‘This is getting weird. Now this is officially weird.’”
Meyers quipped that that gives him a greater appreciation for Barkley’s rebounding abilities, considering he’s not even taller than the tallest guy in Nirvana. He then told Grohl a story Barkley told him about that episode and the Nirvana song “Rape Me,” saying, “I remember him regaling us with stories of the first time he hosted and saying that he was in his dressing room when Nirvana… when you guys were doing your songs, and he said, ‘I was sitting there and I was like, ‘Are they saying ‘rape me?”’”
In a 1994 Rolling Stone interview, Kurt Cobain explained that the controversial song is about karma, saying, “I’ve gone back and forth between regretting it and trying to defend myself. Basically, I was trying to write a song that supported women and dealt with the issue of rape. […] It’s not a pretty image. But a woman who is being raped, who is infuriated with the situation… it’s like ‘Go ahead, rape me, just go for it, because you’re gonna get it.’ I’m a firm believer in karma, and that motherf*cker is going to get what he deserves, eventually. That man will be caught, he’ll go to jail, and he’ll be raped. ‘So rape me, do it, get it over with. Because you’re gonna get it worse.’”
Above, watch Grohl’s full interview and check out Foo Fighters’ performance of “Chasing Birds.”
Elon Musk is the most polarizing SNL host since Donald Trump in 2015. Some cast members reportedly want nothing to do with the Tesla founder, others are defending him. Even hosts from other comedy shows have shared their take. “Those are the dream guests,” Conan O’Brien toldTMZ about Musk. “The dream guests are the ones that are not [comedians]. When I was a writer there, if someone came on and they weren’t a professional comedian, it actually made them funnier in sketches. Because they’re a fish out of water.” The first promo from the episode puts O’Brien’s theory to the test.
“Hi, I’m Elon Musk and I’m hosting SNL this week with musical guest Miley Cyrus,” he says in the clip above. “And I’m a wild card, and there’s no telling what I might do.” “Same here. Rules? No thanks,” Miley adds. But Cecily Strong reminds them, “It’s the Mother’s Day show, so your moms are going to be here.” Miley and Elon take it back — sort of (“We’ll be good… ish”). In the second promo, Musk brags that he did a “successful rocket launch” this week, which is cool and all, but it’s no Cecily almost doing her laundry. She probably ran out of quarters. All she had was Dogecoin. (I’m hoping if I mention “Dogecoin” now, he won’t bring it up every other sentence during the episode.)
The Rundown is a weekly column that highlights some of the biggest, weirdest, and most notable events of the week in entertainment. The number of items could vary, as could the subject matter. It will not always make a ton of sense. Some items might not even be about entertainment, to be honest, or from this week. The important thing is that it’s Friday, and we are here to have some fun.
ITEM NUMBER ONE — Listen to me
Succession is busy casting season three. This is great news, in part because it means the third season is a real thing that is happening and coming to our screens at some point in the near future, and in part because the casting decisions they are making are wondrous. Earlier this week they announced that Alexander Skarsgard will appear as “a confrontational CEO and tech founder.” Then, a few days later, they announced that Adrien Brody will appear as “a billionaire activist investor.” You know a casting decision is good when something like “Adrien Brody as a prickly billionaire who is yelling at Kendall Roy” goes from something you never think about to something that lives in a cabana in your brain. The people who make Succession are good at their jobs.
But if we are doing some casting, if we’re pulling in notable names who have appeared in notable television shows before, if we are apparently going about the business of making Brian deeply happy with all of it, then let’s also please consider this: Put Lance Reddick in Succession.
Lance Reddick would be perfect on Succession. Succession is all about swaggering authority figures shouting at sniveling weasels and no actor alive does that as well as Lance Reddick. Between his booming voice and the posture that makes it look like he has a flagpole for a spine, Lance Reddick is a perfect on-screen authority figure. He did it on The Wire for a while. He’s done it in a bunch of movies including, briefly, Godzilla vs. Kong. And he’s done it for the entire run of Bosch in such a powerful way that he does not even need to speak to get this across. He gave an adversary this look during an episode early-ish in the show’s run and it made me want to apologize to him even though I was sitting in my living room and he was playing a fictional character who was not, as far as I know, upset with me for any particular reason.
AMAZON
This is exactly the energy a Succession character should have. At all times, too. And that’s before we even get to the things where he wears a suit better than any human alive and has an exquisite voice for dismissive and/or disgusted grumbling. This is where I mention Bosch again. Specifically, it’s where I mention him grumbling Bosch’s name whenever Bosch is up to his loose-cannon shenanigans. This happens so much, often with an “effing” tossed in front of it, which, as we know, is an important skill for any Succession character. One time it happened while he was sitting at a piano and drinking a large glass of red wine, which might honestly have been the single most Succession thing that has ever happened on a show that is not Succession.
Amazon
There are so many options here, too. He can play so many characters that would fit on the show. Need a no-nonsense rival CEO who values order and rigorous attention to detail and is therefore constantly annoyed by the chaotic nature of the Roy family and the constant goings-on at Waystar Royco? Lance Reddick can do that. In the market for a steely senator whose heart is in the right place and has the company in his crosshairs with intentions on breaking it up for legitimate reasons and to play to his base in the lead-up to a potential presidential run led by a sleazy and ambitious campaign advisor? That is some extremely Lance Reddick stuff right there. Looking for a strong figure to run a growing national rehab program that Cousin Greg convinces the family to invest in after he goes there to kick the nasty cocaine habit he appeared to be developing as season two progressed? Buddy, take one single second right now to imagine a scene where Lance Reddick yells at Cousin Greg and tell me I’m wrong even a little. That could be an entire spinoff. I would watch and recap every episode.
It gets better, too, because Lance Reddick already has experience playing a cutthroat business titan on a midnight-black comedy, as you would know if you watched Corporate on Comedy Central. He played that so evil and so straight and it was amazing, just taking decades of well-earned gravitas and deploying it like a freaking comedy laser at each scene. It was kind of like how the movie Spy unleashed comedy Statham by taking decades of serious action roles and turning the knob about 30 degrees toward goofs. Succession is not as overtly funny as Corporate was, but the point stands. Lance Reddick can get you a laugh without begging for it.
The only problem with this suggestion is that now I’m getting kind of angry it hasn’t happened already. I’ve talked myself too far into it. It’s not a healthy way to do things, this whole “dreamcast yourself into a blind rage” business, but here we are. Here I am, at least. It’s a good idea. I need it. Will I settle for, say, Danny DeVito as a legendary blowhard pundit on the Roy’s news network who is being pushed out in favor of a younger blowhard pundit played by Zac Efron, or Joe Pesci as a U.S. Attorney who starts poking around Logan’s affair, or Regina King as the damn President? I mean, yeah, sure, absolutely. But I’ll still be thinking about this one. A lot. And hopefully, they will, too.
ITEM NUMBER TWO — PERD
Two things are true here, and both are important to the following discussion, so let’s knock them out right away via bullet point:
Perd Hapley, the fictional news anchor from Parks and Recreation, is one of the best minor comedic characters of the last 10-15 years
Without Remorse is not a very good movie but I watched it anyway
With me so far? Great. So I’m watching Without Remorse, half paying attention as the plot has lulled me into a kind of daze, when suddenly I glance at the side of the screen as Guy Pearce is explaining how Things Are More Complicated Than They Seem or whatever, and there, clear as day, is Perd Hapley himself, Jay Jackson, as a talking head on the fake news show airing in the background. Here, look.
AMAZON
I shouted. I know people on the internet always say “I shouted” when they didn’t actually shout, like how you’ll toss off a polite “lol” in response to a text that did not make you actually L let alone OL. But this one was legit. I shouted “PERD HAPLEY” at my television loud enough that there’s a non-zero chance my neighbors heard me through the wall. I’m fine with it. It’ll probably happen again the next time he pops up in a television show or movie I’m watching. They’ll get used to it.
And it could be happening soon. He pops up in so many things, always as a reporter or news anchor. There’s a good reason for that: he is a real former news reporter and those are basically the only roles he takes. There was a fascinating interview with him a few years ago, mid-Parks fame, where he explained all the how’s and why’s of this, the path one takes from “quitting your job as an on-air reporter to become a professional jazz singer and somehow stumbling into the role of go-to fictional newsman for dozens of movies and shows,” which was all incredible. Read the whole thing when you have some time, but please, start here.
Well, Perd Hapley, turned into a little bit of a cult figure. You know, I’ll tool around online, and I’ll Google “Perd Hapley” like any other actor would. It’s so funny — the people who follow Perd and quote all the lines, and Tumblr pages, and people around the world who make these paintings and artworks of Perd. I was a little surprised when Scandal picked me up, because I auditioned for Scandal just like any other role. Maybe they just didn’t know who Perd Hapley was. So I was doing all these Scandal reports, and then all these tweets started coming: “Why is Perd Hapley on Scandal?” And all of a sudden, I stopped getting those calls from Scandal. I think they figured out that [when] you’ve got this guy who’s known as this quirky idiot on one show, you can’t have him on this serious drama. It was really a surprise that Revenge called, because I knew they know who Perd Hapley was. But maybe it’s part of the trick, I don’t know.
It’s perfect. It’s one of those things that means very little to you until you know what’s going on and then suddenly becomes the only thing you can see. Sometimes I’ll forget he’s in something and shout all over again when he pops up on-screen with a microphone in his hand. The best example of this will always be in the opening of Fast Five, right after Dominic Toretto has escaped from the prison transport bus with the help of his crew. Because that is the type of thing the news would cover. And so…
Universal
A legend. An icon. Put him in every major movie franchise. Let him report on stuff the Avengers do. Let him play a talking head who has opinions about the rise in assassin on assassin violence in John Wick. Let him interview Paddington. I am not joking about any of this.
ITEM NUMBER THREE — In any reasonable world, this is all we would be talking about this week
Did you know that Stephen A. Smith, the loud sports commentator who posted one of the five greatest tweets in history, has had a recurring role on General Hospital for the last half-decade? I hope you did know that. It’s okay if you didn’t, though, because that means I got to break this news to you, and it is a really fun piece of information to share with people who don’t know it yet. It makes me so happy. He plays a character named Brick who is a surveillance expert for a mob boss named Sonny, which is an objectively hilarious thing to type about a show that is, if the title is to be believed, about a hospital.
Anyway, he posted the above clip earlier this week and, if you are just learning this part too, it brings me great pleasure to report to you that probably the most famous sports-opinion-haver in the world was engaged in a slow-motion shootout on a long-running daytime soap opera. It also allows me to post this paragraph from a New Yorker profile of Smith from a few years ago, which is good because I need everyone in the world to read it at some point in their lives and this is more efficient than me going up to people one at a time.
Another television favorite of Smith’s since childhood is the long-running soap opera “General Hospital.” Since 2016, he has had a recurring role on the show: Brick, a surveillance expert who works for the show’s leading man, Sonny Corinthos. (He had a cameo on the show, in 2007, as a TV reporter, which lasted, he said, “ten seconds.”) The gig is an exercise in pure wish fulfillment—when Smith talks about it, he almost giggles. The ever-churning arcs of soap operas also provide Smith yet another analogy for his job. Once, he told me, Shaquille O’Neal confronted him about a particularly tough bit of criticism. “I saw that shit you wrote,” the big man said. “But damn, here I am about to win a championship.” Smith’s rejoinder was simple. “Shaq, I’m a ‘General Hospital’ fan,” he said. “Did you know that? And guess what—Sonny Corinthos is gonna live. Did you know that? Victor Newman”—a character from “The Young and the Restless”—“just fell down a flight of stairs and he’s in a coma. Did you know he’s gonna live? Did you know that? The point is: the story still has to be told.”
What I need you to do here is picture Shaquille O’Neal, all 7’1 and 350 pounds of him, confronting a prominent hater in a moment of triumph, and getting this collection of words in response. Picture his face. It is maybe the funniest mental image you will ever conjure up.
ITEM NUMBER FOUR — This week in movies I must see
This is the trailer for Ape vs. Monster. It is another mockbuster from the maniacs at The Asylum, the studio that famously brought us a gaggle of Sharknados. I adore it. I adore everything about it, too: the speed with which it came out, the perfectly on-the-nose title, the fact that it feels very much like a movie that would feature Eric Roberts in the moments of the trailer right before Eric Roberts actually pops up in profile. Just lovely in every way. I doubt I will ever watch it and I might not even think about it again but it is comforting to me in a deep and personal way that it exists. It is as clear a sign as we’ve seen to-date that things are returning to normal.
And it wasn’t even the only near-perfect low-budget trailer to drop this week. Allow me to present the film Rogue Hostage, starring Tyrese and, for some reason, John Malkovich.
Rogue Hostage might be the best movie title I’ve ever seen. If it’s not, it’s certainly close. Say it in your best movie voice right now. Out loud. Do it. Drop an octave and throw some gravel on it. Rogue Hostage. I’ve been doing it for over 24 hours and I can’t stop. Look at the summary, too.
Single father and former Marine Kyle Snowden (Tyrese Gibson) must save his daughter and other hostages from a dangerous criminal who has trapped them inside a neighborhood store owned by Kyle’s polarizing stepfather, Congressman Sam Nelson (John Malkovich).
I was getting strong Money Plane vibes from this, between the title and the thing where a famous and celebrated aging actor appears in it out of nowhere, so I was pleased and not entirely surprised to learn it comes from the same producers. Everyone is doing so well right now. I am proud of all of us.
ITEM NUMBER FIVE — This is one of those situations where I want to know both everything about it and not a single thing more
last night @ the Cabo Wabo I had the pleasure of closing down w/ the one & only John Travolta. not only was it a pleasure being on stage again with the new house band Julieta, but one of your favorite actors being more than you even imagined! tequila & stories were flowing pic.twitter.com/OfDAFiQtV4
One of the things I like about social media is that you can just be sitting around doing nothing, scrolling mindlessly through your feed, and boom, suddenly Sammy Hagar and John Travolta are doing tequila shots with a WCW title belt in the background and it derails your whole evening. Mine, anyway. Look at it. Really, really look at it. It’s basically art.
I was not joking in the title of this section, either. I either must know every single thing about this or nothing at all, and I can’t decide which. I’m leaning toward the latter, though. I feel like context would ruin it. Yeah, let’s go with that. No one tell me anything about this. Let me have this one pure thing to savor. The only exception I am willing to make is if one of you can explain to me how Guy Fieri is not in this picture, too. This picture screams “and also Guy Fieri.” The best answer I’ve come up with so far is that he was the one holding the camera.
In fact… you know what? Just let me have that one, too.
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From Greg:
What longrunning television series would be most improved by the addition of a wisecracking dog that speaks into the camera to comment on the events of the show? I think it’s probably The Sopranos just for the comedy of it, but you’re the expert here. I’ll defer to you.
Well, this is a wonderful question. I suppose the issue here is what you mean by “improve.” Because if you mean “make better in quality and artistic expression,” then our options are pretty limited. But if you mean “make funnier and more chaotic,” then yes, The Sopranos is a great selection. I have this image in my head right now of a dog looking dead into the camera and saying, “Oh, Madonn’! Christopher is at it again!” and I am giggling a lot. Do not say any of this to one of those obsessive and dour Sopranos fans. They get so mad. Or maybe do say it to them. Get them all worked up. Have some fun.
The only other option I have that might top The Sopranos is something like Dexter where the show started going off the rails toward the end, just to see the dog comment on all the various ways things are going sideways. Yes, this is where we post the treadmill scene. Again.
Beautiful question, Greg. I will be thinking about this for days.
A bottle of French wine that orbited the Earth for more than a year has been put up for sale.
SPACE WINE.
SPACE WINE.
SPACE WINE.
The bottle of Pétrus 2000 – made from merlot grapes in the Bordeaux region – spent 14 months in orbit as part of a privately funded research study on food and agriculture.
This is maybe the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. They just launched some wine into space to see how space affects wine. There are thousands of better things we could be doing with our valuable space exploration resources. And yet.
And yet!
I must try the space wine.
The auction house estimates a sale price of $1m (£720,000; €830,000).
I retract my previous statement. I do not want to taste the space wine that much. Unless… unless we steal the space wine. Someone get Pierce Brosnan on the phone at once. Let’s steal the space wine and then sip it together at sunset in an Italian villa overlooking Lake Como.
But I think my favorite part of all this is the quote the got from the wine expert who tasted the space wine.
“It’s hard for me to say if it was better or worse. But it was definitely different,” she told the BBC.
If I know anything about space exploration based entirely on space movies I’ve seen where alien life forms make their way to Earth via unintended consequences of seemingly harmless cosmos-related decisions, ominous string music starting playing when this lady said “it was definitely different.” In fact… yes, I also now retract my statement about calling Pierce Brosnan. We should call, like, Will Smith. We’re about to have some aliens to kill. And they’re going to be drunk on space wine.
Bebe Rexha’s sophomore album Better Mistakes is out tonight, and the tracklist is crammed with excellent collaborators — although there’s no metal song in sight. As the follow up to her 2018 debut, Expectations, the record was supposed to come out last year, but the singer chose to delay it due to the pandemic. For the project, the rising pop star has songs with Rick Ross, Lil Uzi Vert, Pink Sweats, and even Doja Cat — it’s all but guaranteed to be a great one.
But the first song on the album? It features none other than Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker, making headlines of late for his new relationship with Kourtney Kardashian, and his collab with Rexha sounds like it’s a banger. She’s been teasing the song on Instagram already, and tonight their joint video premiered along with her album. Of course, the resulting clip is just as chaotic as you’d expect, with Barker holding things down on the drums while Bebe struts all over the stage, letting everyone know that her mental health issues are present and accounted for. The resulting track is a noir telling of what it’s like to deal with prescriptions that need adjusting, and even thoughts of jumpers on the 101. Watch the clip above.
Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for Hollywood Foreign Press Association
In the year 2021, it seems absurd that a group of adults who have wielded a certain amount of power in Hollywood for nearly 80 years have to be told to be less racist, but here we are. After decades of questionable behavior, the Hollywood Foreign Press Association—the secretive group that hands out the Golden Globes… and doesn’t have a single Black member—is finally promising to do better.
According to The Hollywood Reporter, the HFPA board sent a letter to its members on Monday outlining a massive set of “structural changes” they plan to make to the organization, with an specific focus on diversity:
“The proposal of the board, now endorsed by the full membership, calls on the organization to admit ‘at least 20 new members in 2021, with a specific focus on recruiting Black members,’ and with ‘a goal of increasing the membership by 50% over the next 18 months.’ It also eliminates the requirement that HFPA members must reside in Southern California, expanding eligibility to any qualified journalist living in the U.S. who works for a foreign outlet.
In addition, they’ve outlined “a new code of conduct” for members in regards to press trips and other promotional perks that have long been seen as a (rather successful) way to sway voters. The Netflix series Emily in Paris became a lightning rod in the discussion of “buying” votes when, after being nominated for Best Television Series and Best Performance by an Actress for lead Lily Collins, it was learned that several of the organization’s members were treated to a luxurious Parisian production visit. Hell, even one of the show’s own writers (rightfully) called out the HFPA for nominating it over Michaela Coel’s I May Destroy You.
More troubling, of course, is the fact that of the HFPA’s nearly 90 members, not one of them is Black. In April, the group ousted Phil Berk—a veteran member of the group for nearly half a century, and its former president—for sending out an extremely racist email. The boot was a long time coming for Berk, who faced zero consequences after groping Brendan Fraser at an official HFPA event in 2003. (Berk, by the way, totally admitted to doing it—he just laughed it off as a joke.)
While the organization’s plans seem to be enough for NBCUniversal and Dick Clark Productions, who broadcast and produce the annual Golden Globe Awards, respectively, only time will tell whether the organization can truly turn a corner.
The streaming services continue their cutthroat-competition clamor every week, and as always, there is a buffet of new content on tap this weekend. Yes, the feat of narrowing down what to watch is never a simple task, and more to the point, selecting a champion-service to rule each weekend is a highly subjective judgment call (that we’re happy to make). This week, we are keeping things breezy by calling it a tie between Apple TV+ and Hulu. Nope, these services don’t have the sheer quantity and variety of a few of the other services (we’ll get there in a moment), but they both have beloved returning series that can’t help but make you feel good. In other words, more Mythic Quest and Shrill are coming your way if you want a quick shot of happiness. Also, Paramount+ makes a strong case in that same category with the introduction of Dave Grohl’s new series.
However, please do not forget about the two services with the most new offerings: Netflix and HBO Max. There’s a ton of fresh offerings to choose from on each of them, from Shakespearean superheroes and serial killers to SNL stars appearing outside of their natural habitat and more. Peacock and Amazon Prime are also putting up some new programming as well, so check out what they’ve got below. Remember, Dave Grohl rules, and moms rule, and we hope you enjoy this Mother’s Day weekend.
Apple TV+
Apple TV+
Mythic Quest: Season 2 (Apple TV+ series) — Two pandemic specials sustained viewers between seasons of Rob McElhenney’s workplace comedy, which shall see plenty of awkward maneuvering while the crew comes back to the office after you-know-what forced the work-at-home situation. They’re hoping to build upon the Raven’s Banquet success with a new expansion, but nothing’s going smoothly. In short, sometimes the bigger battle than the work itself is learning (and in this case, relearning) how to achieve harmony with one’s coworkers, but here’s great news: Snoop Dogg stops by this season to spread his feel-good… vibes.
Ghostwriter: Part 2 (Apple TV+ series) — The reimagining of the 1992 hit Sesame Workshop series continues with the heroes working to uncover the Ghostwriter’s true identity while attempting to save their bookstore. Fresh tales like “The Cobalt Mask” and “Malia and the Magic Paintbrush” are up for grabs with visits from recognizable literary faces, including Dr. Watson.
The Mosquito Coast (Apple TV+ series) — Justin Theroux headlines this series adaptation of Paul Theroux (yes, Paul is Justin’s actual uncle) novel previously brought to life in the mid-1980s with Harrison Ford, Helen Mirren, and River Phoenix. Fast forward thirty freaking years, and there’s a sweeping version coming your way with all of the Apple TV+-style visuals that they tend to drop into their most “epic” productions. The series itself doesn’t match up to the book or film’s tackling of consumerism as much as it wants to be like Breaking Bad (yet forgot the most important ingredient).
Hulu
Hulu
Shrill: Season 3 (Hulu series) — The Lorne Michaels and Elizabeth Banks-produced series picks up with Aidy Bryant’s Annie feeling good about breaking up with her awful boyfriend and crushing everything at work. However, now that she can have everything that she wants, she must decide, you know, what she really wants. A blind date, an embarrassing doctor’s visit, and a wild girl’s night are all on tap this season, so get ready to be vicariously awkward.
The Handmaid’s Tale: Season 4 (Hulu series) — Elisabeth Moss has so much going on these days, but she’s going back again to fight for freedom against the totalitarian government of Gilead. This season, she’ll lead the rebellion while fighting for justice and revenge, but perhaps the biggest threat she’ll face is staying true to herself and the relationships that she values most. Expect the show to get nomadic this season, leaving the Boston area and officially abandoning home base, which must have presented quite the challenge while filming during a pandemic.
Paramount+
Seal Press
From Cradle To Stage (Paramount+ series) — The premiere episode of this Dave Grohl-directed series follows Dave and his mom, Virginia, taking a pilgrimage of sorts to Las Vegas, where they meet with Imagine Dragons frontman Dan Reynolds and his mom, Christine. It’s the first of six similarly-themed installments that will warm the hardest of hearts. Moms rule! Hug your mom, and then watch this show.
Disney+
Disney+
Star Wars: The Bad Batch: Season 1 Premiere (Disney+ series) — You might prefer to think of this show as the Star Wars franchise’s version of D.C.’s Suicide Squad, but fear no Leto-Joker intrusion. Instead, this The Clone Wars spinoff follows the conclusion of its flagship series that recently wound down on Disney+. Dave Filoni (also of The Mandalorian and Rebels) is executive producing here, and the show focuses on a mercenary squad of sorts that’s made up of (as the title indicates) “the Bad Batch” or Clone Force 99. These elite soldiers stand apart from standard clones due to their unique physical capabilities like super strength, super eyesight, and so on. They’ll try to find their place in a post-Clone War era, and good luck to them.
Big Shot (Disney+ series) — David E. Kelley co-created and executive produces this series starring John Stamos as a down-on-his luck, ousted NCAA coach who’s attempting to get back on his (angry) feet with a ritzy private high-school gig. While reluctantly seeking redemption, Coach learns that his new team benefits from him showing some actual emotion beyond rage and stoicism, so he must — gasp — learn how to be vulnerable and empathetic. He might actually become a better person, too.
Earth Moods (Nat Geo series on Disney+) — This five-part series serves up us various “moods” from the corners of the globe to soothe us with the natural world. Each one (from glaciers to deserts to rain forests to cities) will take us on a calming voyage.
Netflix
Netflix
Jupiter’s Legacy (Netflix series) — Kick-Ass and Kingsman creator Mark Millar is to thank for this epic superhero series, starring a heavily bearded Josh Duhamel as The Utopian. He’s the head of a superhero family that’s hoping to pass the torch to a new generation, but (no real surprise) things aren’t going well. Yes, this description does evoke shades of Robert Kirkman’s Invincible (on Amazon), but the vibe is less R-rated and also entertaining on its own merits. No spoilers here, but there are twists involved with this family’s ethics as heroes, and the show answers a lot of questions left open by Marvel Studios’ The Avengers with all of its collateral damage.
The Sons of Sam: A Descent into Darkness (Netflix limited series) — Netflix continues to delve deeper into the true crime realm with new selections every month, from the ongoing Unsolved Mysteries revival to bingeworthy limited series like Murder Among The Mormons and Joe Berlinger’s haunting Crime Scene anthology show. Now, the streamer is taking on the case of serial killer David Berkowitz, a.k.a. “Son of Sam,” who was arrested and convicted after a stream of murders in the late 1970s. Upon Berkowitz’s capture, New Yorkers felt a sense of relief after Berkowitz could no longer stalk the streets, but journalist Maury Terry didn’t rest easy. He felt convinced that Berkowitz had a partner (or more than one), and this documentary series will dive down that rabbit hole.
Selena: The Series: Part 2 (Netflix series) — Selena Quintanilla, who eventually became the Queen of Tejano Music, continues her years of hard work and sacrifice as she journeys from tiny gigs to becoming the biggest female Latin artist ever. The show embraces family and the power of dreaming to inspirational effect.
Monster (Netflix film) — This harrowing story follows a teenage honor student who finds himself accused of felony murder. This development brings life crashing down around him and threatens to topple his promising future in exchange for life in prison.
Milestone (Netflix film) — A recently bereaved truck driver takes an existential journey while coping with the thought of losing out a a young recruit on the job. In the process of all of this, he reaches a record mileage mark at his company, and this sounds a bit like a certain George Clooney movie that we’ve all seen, right? But grittier.
Yasuke (Netflix series) — Netflix will up its anime game with this dazzling series from Japanese animation studio MAPPA. LaKeith Stanfield voices the real-life first African samurai, who struggles to shed his past life of violence while striving to keep a peaceful existence. However, he must reluctantly pick up his sword again. The score’s courtesy of Flying Lotus, and creator/director/producer LeSean Thomas will build upon his proven track record (The Boondocks, Cannon Busters, and Black Dynamite) of interweaving anime and Black culture with a big boost from head writer Nick Jones Jr.
HBO Max
HBO Max
That Damn Michael Che (HBO Max series) — This show’s title kindly tells us which SNL star will be front and center. However, several other SNL stars from today and yesteryear shall be right beside him, and that includes Colin Quinn, who previously admitted that he wasn’t the best fit for Weekend Update, but he seems to be a good fit for a priest who’s gearing himself up to hear all of Michael Che’s sins. This season also won’t shy away from tackling the all-too-timely issue of policing. Yes, the series promises appearances from Cecily Strong, Heidi Gardner, Ellen Cleghorne, and Colin Jost. Also expect to see Billy Porter, Method Man, Omari Hardwick, and Geoffrey Owens.
Tenet (Warner Bros. film on HBO Max) — Christopher Nolan’s latest effort, starring Robert Pattinson and John David Washington, wanted to be the first 2020 pandemic blockbuster, but it was simply too soon. Does the movie make sense? Not really, but it’s still an event movie in your living room, so it’s worth a whirl for sure.
Mare Of Easttown (HBO series streaming on HBO Max) — Kate Winslet returns not only to TV but to HBO (a decade after her award-winning Mildred Pierce turn) to star as a hard-vaping detective in a small town where she both portrays and elevates the “complicated” cop trope. She’s captivating while digging into a murder mystery that has rocked her small town and caused the community to feel utterly claustrophobic. This show will suck you in, and you won’t mind one bit.
The Nevers (HBO series streaming on HBO Max) — This Joss Whedon-created show offers an intriguing setup about a group of “orphans” (almost exclusively women) who find themselves “gifted” with supernaturally-powered abilities. Although there’s far too many plot lines (and some plot holes), there’s also a fair amount of butt-kicking, and the atmosphere is killer. The embattled Buffy and Firefly creator officially exited the series last year, but you won’t be able to forget his presence.
Peacock
Peacock
Girls5Eva (Peacock series) — Tina Fey and Robert Carlock haven’t swung and missed yet while executive producing together, and here’s their latest joint project about a one-and-done, Spice Girls-esque 1990s girl group who get one more shot at stardom. Unfortunately, they’re all balancing real-life stressors like family, day jobs, and aches and pains that one doesn’t exactly deal with during early-20s life when abusing one’s body simply comes with the territory. Busy Phillips stars alongside Sarah Bareilles, Paula Pell, and Renée Elise Goldsberry.
Amazon Prime
Getty Image
The Boy from Medellín (Amazon Prime film) — Best-selling Latin music artist J Balvin, who’s known as the “Prince of Reggaeton,” appears in this documentary that charts his rise to global-breakout and award-winning artist. Matthew Heineman, and Balvin has let it be known that he’s thrilled to be “a son of Medellin.” Further, he’s excited to represent not only his city but Latin culture, not only onstage but for the world to view in this film.
Tom Clancy’s Without Remorse (Amazon Prime film) — Michael B. Jordon stars as an elite Navy SEAL who’s seeking justice after the murder of his pregnant wife. In the process, he (naturally) stumbles upon an international conspiracy. It’s the origin story of one of the most beloved Clancy characters in his entire Jack Ryan universe.
Invincible (Amazon Prime series) — This animated romp pleases both fans of The Boys and The Walking Dead, and the latter reference has everything to do with the source material by Robert Kirkman. Invincible is an ultraviolent deconstruction of the superhero. Stephen Yeun makes a fantastic leading man here, and the cast (J.K. Simmons, Sandra Oh, Seth Rogen, Walton Goggins, Jason Mantzoukas, Zazie Beetz, Zachary Quinto, Mark Hamill, and several TWD names) is ridiculously good.
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(@ClayreInTucson) May 7, 2021
Haaaaaaa!!!! 
