Ted Cruz should have known better than to pick a fight with The Daily Show, as it resulted in him being ruthlessly owned by current host Trevor Noah with even former host Jon Stewart getting in on the action. But would Ted Cruz really be Ted Cruz if he knew better at all? (That’s one of those existentialist, rhetorical-type questions that you don’t need to answer, but feel free to spend the day pondering it.)
As the Trevor vs. Ted Twitter battle ended in a clear victory for the former, it seemed as if that might be the last we’d hear on that particular feud. But then Noah, bless his heart, gifted the world with might be one of the most epic takedowns of the Texas senator since Donald Trump called Cruz’s wife ugly. Though in this case, it seems highly unlikely that Cruz will just smile and nod in that patented Sniveling Ted Cruz Way ( pending).
The video kicks off by going all the way back to a Fox News presidential debate from March 4, 2016, with footage of when, for a traumatic and nausea-inducing few moments, Cruz did his best to try and sound like a leader… all with having what appeared to be a booger on his lip. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen: a booger.
As the narrator intones: “Establishment Republican candidates are making their last stand against Donald Trump. And Senator Ted Cruz of Texas (dramatic pause) had a gross booger hanging on his lip. And then, he ate it. As if none of us could see. This is Ted Cruz: The Booger on the Lip of Democracy.”
Presented in the tradition of a biographical documentary, awkward family photos and all, the brilliant 9-minute segment includes such insightful gems as describing Cruz’s youthful ambition as being “the same as any higher-order lizard: sex and domination” and saying that “young Ted Cruz was obsessed with boobs and power—two things he would struggle to get his hands on for the rest of his life.” It revisits Cruz’s early days as a lawyer, and his impassioned fight against the sale of sex toys in Texas, with the narrator wryly noting that, “In a show of selfless devotion to the law, Ted Cruz defended a ban on sex toys—even though he himself is a complete dildo.”
We’ll leave it to you to discover the segment’s many other magnificent moments, including Cruz’s truly terrible impersonations of Yoda and Darth Vader (which sound almost exactly the same, by the way, but certainly unlike anything George Lucas ever created), in the clip above. Just remember: You cannot unsee it.
Christopher Osburn has spent the past fifteen years in search of “the best” — or at least his very favorite — sips of whisk(e)y on earth. He’s enjoyed more drams than his doctor would dare feel comfortable with, traveled to over 20 countries testing local spirits, visited more than 50 distilleries around the globe, and amassed a collection of bottles that occupies his entire basement (and annoys his wife).
In this series, he cracks open his worn “tasting diary” and shares its contents with the masses.
In America, bourbon is big business. While it can technically be made anywhere in the US (as long as the regulations are met), 95% of all bourbon is produced in Kentucky, where the big brands are centered. In 2020 alone, bourbon distilleries in the Blue Grass State filled more than 2.1 million barrels, with production increasing by more than 350% since the dawn of the 2000s.
To say that bourbon whiskey is a popular style is an understatement. And a pretty massive one at that.
America’s native spirit (as declared by congress in 1964) is crafted by countless distilleries, but there’s a handful that sell better than all the others. We definitely love (and root for) the upstarts, but today I want to give the big boys their due. I’m highlighting my one absolute favorite bourbon whiskey expression from each of the best-selling brands. This can get a little confusing, as some of the brands are owned by the same distilleries, but if you’re going by name alone the top-selling bourbons brands are Bulleit, Old Forester, Wild Turkey, Four Roses, Woodford Reserve, Maker’s Mark, Jim Beam, Evan Williams, Elijah Craig, and Buffalo Trace.
I based this on my tastes alone without taking into account price or how sought-after a particular bottle is. Sometimes I chose the most expensive bottle. Sometimes it was somewhere in the middle. My palate, which is pretty thoroughly developed and tuned to bourbon, was the only barometer. Click the linked prices to have these picks delivered to your doorstep.
This award-winning whiskey has a mash bill of 68% corn, 28% rye, and 4% malted barley. It’s aged in charred, American oak casks for ten years. The result is a rich, warming, spicy bourbon well-suited for mixing into an old fashioned or slow sipping on its own.
Tasting Notes:
On the nose, you’ll find scents of charred oak, dried cherries, citrus zest, and toasted vanilla beans. On the palate, you’ll notice notes of fresh leather, buttery caramel, raisins, butterscotch, and subtle spicy rye. The finish is long, dry, warming, and ends with a nice hit of cracked black pepper.
Bottom Line:
While this bourbon is well-suited for drinking neat or on the rocks, its high-rye content is the perfect base for your favorite whiskey cocktails. I picked it as my favorite from Bulleit because I believe 10 years is the perfect amount of time for the various flavors to meld perfectly and because it’s probably my favorite mixer on earth.
This award-winning bourbon is the same 101-proof as the brand’s iconic 101 offerings. But this expression is produced from single barrels that are hand-picked by Master Distiller Jimmy Russell. The most unique aspect is that on top of being a single-barrel bourbon, the bottle details the date it was bottled, the barrel number, and even which storehouse (and where in that storehouse) it came from.
Tasting Notes:
Take a moment to breathe in the aromas of pipe tobacco, buttercream, and subtle spice. On the sip, you’ll taste hints of spicy cinnamon, charred oak, butterscotch, and dried fruits. It all ends with a long, warming hit of almond cookies and raisins.
Bottom Line:
For the dedication to detail, the high-quality, and the equally high-proof, this bottle is an absolute bargain at $60. Snatch it up and savor it. This is my favorite Wild Turkey expression because of the combination of high-proof and rich, complex flavors.
I know we’re not talking price, but as a lover of value I appreciate how much this bottle outkicks its coverage.
This high-rye (60% corn, 35% rye, 5% malted barley), 100-proof bourbon is produced from hand-picked single barrels that are aged between 7 and 9 years in charred, American oak barrels. It’s complex, well-rounded, and carries a great sweet to spicy ratio perfect for sipping.
Tasting Notes:
On the nose, you’ll be greeted with notes of vanilla essence, treacle, wood char, and spicy rye. The palate is swirling with flavors of buttery caramel, sweet cocoa, dried apricots, and cracked black pepper. The ending is long, lingering, and finishes with a nice combination of dried fruits and spicy rye.
Bottom Line:
If you only buy one bottle from this brand, make it Four Roses Single Barrel. It’s bargain-priced and belongs on your home bar cart or in your liquor cabinet at all times. The proof and the various flavors are complex enough to stand up in your favorite cocktail but I truly love this as a slow sipper.
Part of the appeal of this highly sought-after whiskey is the fact that it’s only available in limited quantities, it’s uncut, unfiltered, and as mellow as humanly possible (in my opinion). Aged in a new, charred, American oak cask for a minimum of 15 years, this is the shining star of Buffalo Trace’s Antique Collection.
Tasting Notes:
Before sipping, make sure to fill your nostrils with the aromas of a musty rickhouse, charred oak, bitter chocolate, and vanilla. Take a sip and you’ll enjoy flavors of creamy chocolate fudge, caramelized sugar, dried fruits, smoky pipe tobacco, and sticky toffee. It all ends with a warming finish of tobacco, brown sugar, and raisins.
Bottom Line:
Unless you’re friends with a liquor store owner, you’re likely going to have to pay above-market prices to get your hands on a bottle. Give it the respect it deserves by never mixing this bourbon. Instead, sip it slowly with a dash of water or a single ice cube. It beats out other Buffalo Trace staples like Pappy and the various Weller offerings because of its uncut, unfiltered recipe and its caramel-filled flavor notes.
Woodford Reserve is located in the middle of horse racing country. Its campus is picturesque and Instagram-worthy. Its whiskeys are equally note-worthy. You can’t go wrong with its classic Kentucky Straight Bourbon Whiskey. But my favorite is its Double Oaked bourbon. It’s matured in a charred, American oak barrel as well as a deeply toasted and lightly charred barrel.
Tasting Notes:
On the nose, you’ll find aromas of dried fruits, rich chocolate, toasted marshmallows, and butterscotch. The palate is full of flavors of toasted vanilla beans, caramel apples, cooking spices, and a nutty sweetness. The finish is long, lingering, and ends with a great combination of sweet honey and subtle spice.
Bottom Line:
This is one of the most beloved expressions from the Versailles, Kentucky distillery for good reason. Its release is eagerly awaited each year and definitely lives up to the hype. I picked it because, while sought-after, the hype is worthwhile. The double casking give this a unique, memorable flavor that you’ll want to sip every single day.
This award-winning whiskey is made using one single barrel (hence the name). It’s released annually and made up of 78% Corn, 12% Malted Barley, and 10% Rye. It’s aged for 18 years in new, charred American oak casks.
Tasting Notes:
The nose is brimming with scents of buttercream, candied orange peels, and charred oak. Take a sip and you’ll find yourself immersed in a world of creamy vanilla, rich oak, dates, caramelized sugar, and subtle spice. It ends with a nice combination of fruit and oak.
Bottom Line:
If you’re looking for a bourbon that leans heavy on the charred oak flavor, this is the bourbon for you. 18 years of maturation tends to do that. This attention to detail and patience is the main reason this is my favorite expression from Elijah Craig.
2021 was the third limited release from the Maker’s Mark Wood Finishing Series. The goal isn’t to change the brand’s bourbon drastically but to amplify the flavors. They do this by “wood finishing” the expression by adding fully matured cask strength whiskey to barrels that contain specifically designed wooden staves for additional aging.
Tasting Notes:
On the nose, you’ll be greeted with scents of salted caramel, charred wood, and toasted vanilla beans. On the palate, you’ll find flavors of brown sugar, buttery caramel, toffee, and candied pecans. The finish is long, filled with warming heat, and ends with a final kick of butterscotch and cinnamon.
Bottom Line:
If you’re already a fan of Maker’s Mark and you’ve tried Maker’s Mark 46, it’s time to work your way up to the brand’s Wood Finishing Series. This is my go-to expression because it’s the pinnacle of the Maker’s Mark brand.
The best thing about this whiskey is its price. It’s way cheaper than it needs to be. Just don’t tell the folks at Evan Williams. The only vintage-dated single barrel bourbon available, it’s made up from hand-picked barrels. Aged for 7-8 years, Evan Williams adds its “vintage date” to every bottle.
Tasting Notes:
Give this bourbon a proper nosing and you’ll find aromas of charred oak, vanilla beans, treacle, and rich almonds. Take a sip and lock in on subtle baking spices, caramel apples, candied orange peel, and buttery caramel. The ending is long, warming, and finishes with a nice mix of vanilla and spice.
Bottom Line:
This bottle is a crazy bargain at around $30 — not a deciding factor but a valid perk. It’s my favorite expression from Evan Williams because of its rich flavor and high mixability. Buy a few bottles and keep them on your bar cart at all times for mixing into a whiskey sour or mint julep.
When it comes to Jim Beam’s Small Batch Bourbon Series, Knob Creek, Basil Hayden’s, and Booker’s get a ton of fanfare. But the real winner of the group is Baker’s, especially the 13-year-old. Made from 77% corn, 13% rye, and 10% malted barley, and aged for 13 years in charred oak barrels, it’s rich, well-balanced, and highly memorable.
Tasting Notes:
Give this whiskey a nice, long, luxuriant nosing and you’ll find scents of a musty barrelhouse, vanilla cream, candied almonds, and charred oak. The flavor is swirling with notes of brown sugar, buttery caramel, sticky toffee, and subtle cinnamon spice. The end is filled with spicy cinnamon and butterscotch candy.
Bottom Line:
This expression isn’t always easy to find. So, if you ever spot a bottle in the wild (and it’s reasonably priced): buy it. You definitely won’t regret it. When it comes to Jim Beam, this bottle is the absolute most complex, sippable bottle available.
Old Forester makes nothing but high-quality whiskeys. It honestly doesn’t matter which expression you buy; you’ll be completely happy with your decision. But its best is Old Forester 1920. This bourbon touts itself as a “prohibition style” whiskey due to its high proof. It sits at 115 to pay tribute to the whiskeys produced in Kentucky over 100 years ago.
Tasting Notes:
Before drinking, give this bourbon a good nosing. You’ll notice aromas of maple candy, dried fruits, freshly brewed coffee, and wood char. The palate reveals flavors of spicy cinnamon, cloves, buttery caramel candy, and subtle black pepper. The ending is long, subtly smoky, and ends with a nice kick sweet chocolate and toffee finish.
Bottom Line:
Drinkers of high-proof bourbons will love this 115 proof bold, rich whiskey. The high alcohol content makes it a great choice for cocktails, as the other ingredients won’t temper the whiskey flavor. I love it because drinking it feels like a throwback to a bygone era.
As a Drizly affiliate, Uproxx may receive a commission pursuant to certain items on this list.
While some romantic relationships in hip-hop have fallen apart, Lil Uzi Vert and City Girls’ JT have been going strong for the past few months. Their relationship saw some ups and downs in its early stages, but the pair was able to work things out. During a recent appearance with fellow City Girls rapper Yung Miami on Justin Combs and Just LaBoy’s new show Respectfully Justin, JT shared how her first date with Lil Uzi went.
“He had a bag full of money and I had a little Chanel bag and he was like, ‘Take as much as you can.’ I could only fit $30,000, and I was so mad,” JT said during the episode. She added that their time together included a trip to the Louis Vuitton and Taco Bell for a rather short date night due to JT needing to “be back to the halfway house,” which she stayed at between October 2019 and March 2020 following a conviction on identity theft and fraudulent credit card charges.
The City Girls rapper then showed some love to Lil Uzi for how great of a partner he is. “I don’t want to keep talking because it’s gonna seem like I’m bragging,” she said. I have a good man. I didn’t even know he was a good man. I was f*ckin’ with him for almost two years before I found out he was a good man.”
You can watch the full Respectfully Justin episode above.
Lil Uzi Vert is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.
According to ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski, Kings rookie guard Tyrese Haliburton’s season is over. Per Woj, Haliburton, who injured his left knee on Sunday against the Mavericks, underwent an MRI that revealed no ligament damage to his left knee. He will not need surgery, either.
Haliburton needed help leaving the court after sustaining the injury in Sunday night’s victory over Dallas. Haliburton has had an outstanding rookie season, averaging 13 points, 5.3 assists and 1.5 steals. https://t.co/YXmoOin1c2
Haliburton, the 12th pick in last year’s draft out of Iowa State, has been one of the league’s best rookies. Coming off the bench most of the time, he’s averaging 13 points and 5.3 assists per game as Sacramento’s second creator behind De’Aaron Fox. Most recently, he’s started in Fox’s place while Fox was out due to health and safety protocols. Fox is still not with the team, bumping Delon Wright into the starting lineup with both guards out.
Among rookies, Fox is third in points per game, second in assists, second in steals, and fifth in total minutes played. He may not win Rookie of the Year, but he definitely has put himself in the conversation for first-team All-Rookie honors with the likes of LaMelo Ball and Anthony Edwards. And, with Fox, Haliburton gives the Kings something to build around.
It also makes sense that he’s done for the year. The Kings’ play-in hopes are kaput, so there’s nothing really for him to rush back for. His injury against the Mavericks was scary to watch too — Haliburton had to be helped off the court after it happened. Better to shut him down, let him get to 100 percent and look ahead to next when Haliburton and Fox can ideally hit the ground running in year two of their partnership.
No one likes Ted Cruz, especially Donald J. Trump. The former president called his wife ugly. He accused his father of killing JFK. And yet there the Texas senator was on Tuesday night, gleefully posting a picture of the two of them together, dining at Mar-a-Lago, like Trump hadn’t insulted those closest to him for a laugh, all while stomping on his dreams of ever becoming president — and on the same day, no less, that he’d already been a social media punching bag for a nonsensical tweet in which he seemed to think Jason Bourne was real.
Had a great dinner tonight with President Trump at Mar-a-Lago.
He’s in great spirits! We spent the evening talking about working together to re-take the House & Senate in 2022. pic.twitter.com/OdtUBxHGSn
“Had a great dinner tonight with President Trump at Mar-a-Lago. He’s in great spirits!” Cruz posted in a picture of the two of them beaming strained smiles. “We spent the evening talking about working together to re-take the House & Senate in 2022.”
Social media never tires of dragging Cruz, in part because Cruz provides them with so much ammo. Most didn’t even have to bring up his disastrous Cancun escape vacation — there’s already so many things to make fun of him about. Indeed, jokes were aplenty.
Did he mention how ugly he thinks your wife is, or how your dad murdered JFK? Did he call you “Lying Ted” throughout the dinner? Come one man. We want details! https://t.co/Uz36xiE6G3
Though others mocked the GOP that’s still enslaved to a disgraced former president who lives in a resort, ranting to strangers.
An entire political party continues to suck up to the election loser because they’re scared of his Twitter, which he doesn’t even have anymore. https://t.co/tB2zA9agaD
The Indiana Pacers entered the 2020-21 season with relatively modest expectations. After a four-game sweep at the hands of the Miami Heat in the first round of the 2020 NBA Playoffs, the Pacers parted ways with veteran head coach Nate McMillan, but the team didn’t make sweeping changes to its roster. As such, Indiana entered the campaign with the seventh-highest projected win total in the Eastern Conference and, with only a handful of games remaining in the season, the Pacers sit in the No. 9 spot in the East.
With that as the backdrop, it would be fair to say that Indiana at least mildly underachieved, but it was still a bit surprising when ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski reported on Tuesday that first-year head coach Nate Bjorkgren faces an “uncertain” future beyond this season.
Bjorkgren has work to do on relationships with key players in his locker room, sources tell ESPN, and has thus far shown a willingness within the organization to try to address those issues. https://t.co/uNeOdHMlnQ
As Wojnarowski notes, it does not appear that Bjorkgren’s status is directly tied to underwhelming win-loss results, and that makes sense. After all, it would be rather aggressive to consider parting ways with a coach after one season, especially when the Pacers are still in line for a play-in spot with TJ Warren appearing in only four games and various other injury issues popping up throughout the campaign.
At the same time, any reference to “relationships with key players” should raise eyebrows, particularly for a first-time NBA head coach with a veteran-laden team. Bjorkgren’s predecessor also exited Indiana amid rumblings less than stellar locker room dynamics, but McMillan has been an NBA head coach for two decades and, after four consecutive first-round exits, the writing may have been on the wall. Still, it is a different thing entirely for a new voice to enter the fray, only to potentially wear out his welcome in (very) short order.
There is nothing definitive about this reporting but, with less than two weeks remaining in the regular season, it is certainly noteworthy to have the leading NBA newsbreaker put this on the radar. The Pacers have endured a few painfully rough losses in recent days and, if things don’t improve in a hurry, they could theoretically be evaluating head coaching options for the second straight offseason.
22-year-old right-hander Huascar Ynoa wasn’t supposed to be a major part of the Atlanta Braves rotation in 2021. The Braves invested eight-figure contracts in starters like Charlie Morton and Drew Smyly and, with youngsters like Mike Soroka, Max Fried, Ian Anderson, and others returning, Ynoa projected as a supporting piece, or even a long relief option. However, Atlanta is off to a bit of a slow start and, due to both injury and ineffectiveness, Ynoa is in the spotlight.
On the mound, the youngster entered Tuesday’s game against the Washington Nationals with a rock solid 2.96 ERA in six appearances, and Ynoa also helped his own cause with a home run at the plate in his last outing. In the current environment, though, pitchers aren’t exactly raking after a year off from hitting at all, and Ynoa wasn’t exactly expected to follow up his previous home run with another.
This time, though, Ynoa took things a step further, blasting a sixth-inning grand slam to give the Braves a 6-0 lead.
Ynoa’s home run was not of the cheap variety, as it traveled 427 feet and was measured at 107.4 miles per hour off the bat according to MLB’s statcast metrics.
Braves pitcher Huascar Ynoa hit a 427-foot grand slam, the longest of the 13 grand slams hit by pitchers since 2006.
It’s Ynoa’s 2nd home run this season. All other pitchers have 2 HR combined, including 1 by Shohei Ohtani as a pitcher.
It was quite a majestic blast and, in the process, Ynoa made some recent Braves history, with an intriguing twist involving former Atlanta hurler Jaime Garcia.
The last @Braves pitcher to hit a grand slam was Jaime Garcia on July 21, 2017. Three days later, he was traded for Huascar Ynoa… Who is now the most recent Braves pitcher to hit a grand slam pic.twitter.com/FxUfhDBQCN
At the time of his big swing, Ynoa was also working on a shutout, though that evaporated when he gave up a run in the seventh inning. Still, he lowered his ERA to a sparkling 2.36 for the season with seven quality innings, flashing his big-time arm to compliment his suddenly prolific bat.
It isn’t every day that a pitcher hits a home run, much less a grand slam, in a game between division rivals. Ynoa’s emphatic swing was even more impressive than usual, and he’s also been a fantastic early story for an Atlanta team that needs some mojo.
It’s been over a year since most of us have attended live shows of any kind, whether it be tours, festivals, or hell, even the open mic night at Hotel Cafe. I’d take anything that was safe at the moment… which is probably why reading about rescheduled tour dates and long overdue shows is such a heart-warming experience of late.
Still, these are some of the best songs this sister trio has ever released, and the chance to see them perform them live is coming to some very lucky UK fans quite soon. Today, the band shared rescheduled dates for their One More Haim (heh) tour, and I can guarantee you that fans across the pond are just as eager to get out and see the band live. If you’re one of the lucky ones who might be able to snag a ticket to one of these dates, check out the announcement below and mark your calendars. Pre-sale information is right here.
hii! it’s been such a bummer being away from you guys for so long but the one more haim UK tour is officially happening this September! if u already purchased your ticket, it’s still valid. SEE YOU SOON https://t.co/lBw1dSTDRHpic.twitter.com/y1N3UNblR4
With just a few weeks until the NBA Playoffs start, the Los Angeles Clippers are unsure when they will see Serge Ibaka again. Before the Clippers hosted the Toronto Raptors on Tuesday, head coach Tyronn Lue said that there was no set “potential return date” for Ibaka.
Ty Lue: No “potential return date” for Serge Ibaka.
Ibaka, who signed with Los Angeles in the offseason, has not played since March 14 due to lower back tightness. After Monday’s night’s game, he’ll have missed 26 consecutive games due to the injury. For the season, he’s appeared in 39 games — all starts — while averaging 10.9 points, 6.7 rebounds, and 1.2 blocks a night. After Los Angeles faces Toronto, there will be just six games left in the regular season.
In the short term, this could hurt the Clippers’ chances of getting a higher seed in the Western Conference. Prior to the Raptors game, they are four games back of the top-seed Jazz and 3.5 back of the second-seeded Suns. That ties them with the Nuggets, who are off on Monday. If the Clippers end up as the third or fourth seed, they’ll could easily end up playing the Lakers (who do have their own injury concerns) or the Mavericks in round one.
There are also real playoff concerns here. The Clippers have Ivica Zubac as a starter and he’s solid. They also have Demarcus Cousins, who they signed for the rest of the season last week. But Lue hasn’t always trusted Zubac when it matters and Cousins is not what he was at his peak. Ibaka, if he’s right, offers a more mobile center choice than the team’s other options. He also unlocks some five-out units for Lue to turn to. Not having him now hurts and it’ll hurt even more if Ibaka isn’t available or isn’t at 100 percent come the playoffs to support Kawhi Leonard and Paul George.
Back in 2019, when DJ Khaled dropped his 11th album, Father of Ashad, he released a boatload of videos within the first 24 hours. With his new album Khaled Khaled, he’s doing something similar, though at a much slower rate this time around. The latest is for “Every Change I Get,” and it finds the rapper stasnding side by side with Lil Baby and Lil Durk, all of them surrounded by women, luxury cars, burning objects, and more, all while Durk and Baby deliver verses about their relentless pursuit of success.
The new video is the fourth that Khaled’s has released in five days. He kicked things off with a lavish one for “Sorry Not Sorry,” with Jay-Z and Nas, before heading to Jamaica to connect with reggae artists Buju Banton, Capleton, and Bounty Killer for their collaboration “Where You Come From.” Next, he called on Lil Wayne and Jeremih for the album’s intro track, “Thankful.”
As for Durk and Baby, the two rappers are currently working on their joint album, The Voice & The Hero, which is set to arrive in the near future.
You can watch the video for “Every Chance I Get” above.
Khaled Khaled is out now via Epic Records. Get it here.
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pending).
(@MollyJongFast) 
PITCHER GRAND SLAM 
