The annual Westminster Dog Show went down a week ago, and the furor with which people responded to the “Best In Show” decision still won’t stop being funny. Now will I ever forget how Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist Flea went into conspiracy-theory mode while declaring that he was “shocked and grossed” by the solitary judge’s decision to honor a Pekingese named Wasabi with top honors. “The judge had a crush on its handler im sure of it,” Flea tweeted, and although I wouldn’t go that far in questioning the logic behind the results, the Wasabi world dominance does feel unexpected.
With that, noted Cheerios critic John Oliver’s latest episode covered some very serious issues, including Japan persisting with this year’s Tokyo Olympics and the predatory lending practices that are increasingly involved with home renovations. Sandwiched in between those segments, however, was Last Week Tonight‘s take on the Westminster Dog Show. In particular, the show offered “Better Names” for these contestants like “Crime” as well as “Good Carl” and “Bad Carl.” I enjoyed the relabeling of one pup as “Ragnaroth, Devourer of Souls,” although I couldn’t get a screencap of the mischievous scamp (yes, he is probably the Loki of dogs while dodging everywhere). And here’s a look at the newly dubbed “Smooth Chris” and “Drama.”
Another standout name? “Cuban Exile and CIA Asset Antonio Veciana Claimed He Witnessed A High-Ranking CIA Officer Meet With Lee Harvey Oswald In September Of 1963” felt pretty spot-on, but here’s the one that got some of us a little too worked up: Wasabi, recrowned as “Jennifer Aniston.”
Yup, this dog is essentially a tottering box of hair, but all of us who have been critical of these Westminster results may have lost some perspective and overreacted. Yes, poor Smooth Chris (and several other contestants) did get the shaft, but we’re all essentially worked up by a hair trend that’s been declared superior. Wasabi’s probably a little sweetheart who puts up with a lot of sh*t and actually wants a damn haircut. In addition, Oliver’s nightly ranting concluded with a related segment called, “The Winner Of Best In Show At The Westminster Dog Show Breaks Newscaster’s brains.” From there, Wasabi was referred to as “Cousin It” before a news anchor declared, “I picture yours or my hair just walking on the ground with no legs!” Pure madness.