Month: June 2021

Funny story: I knew at some point on this day I’d be talking to J.K. Simmons, just not quite when it happened. I was also slated to talk to the director of The Tomorrow War, Chris McKay, and was told, over Zoom, I’d be sent to “Chris’s room.” Then, without warning, up popped J.K. Simmons’s head and I think he saw the confusion on my face and just instinctively yelled “Surprise!” (It will probably not come as too big of a surprise to learn J.K. Simmons is a quick-witted fellow.)

Simmons has that special thing going where he can enter a scene and people just instinctively applaud. (I mention to Simmons that Samuel L. Jackson also has this power, to which Simmons says, kind of shockingly, that somehow he’s never been in a movie with Jackson. Also, no, Spider-Man: Far From Home doesn’t count.) And Simmons has a scene like that in The Tomorrow War (streaming on Amazon Prime this week), when Chris Pratt’s Dan Forester – who is being sent to the future to fight a losing war against aliens called the White Spikes who eat humans – visits his ornery cuss of a father in the hopes his dad’s technical expertise can get the tracker off of him so he can flee. And it’s a majestic entrance, with a buff Simmons sporting a full, very long beard.

It’s daunting to interview J.K. Simmons because when you want to talk about past stuff, where do you even begin? But if you’re asking yourself, well, you at least mention The Accountant, right? Yes of course we talk about The Accountant. And he hints that maybe we haven’t seen the last of The Accountant.

Oh, so this is a surprise…

Surprise!

I’ve noticed you have this thing now, even when you’re not the star of the movie, you can show up and people cheer. It’s like both you have Samuel L. Jackson can get that response.

[Laughs] Well, gee thanks. You don’t think I’m the star of this movie, so I’m a little confused by the question.

You are the star of the third act.

Sam Jackson and I need to do something together. We never have.

That’s actually surprising.

Right? How does that happen? Because people keep telling me, “Oh, you’re everywhere,” and obviously Sam Jackson is in every other movie you ever see. So, one of these days.

It’s like you two have to go out of your way to avoid each other. That is actually remarkable.

I mean, maybe he is. I don’t know.

I’d be very self-conscious about that now.

[Laughs] Thanks.

Okay, yes, you’re the star of the movie. I feel bad now.

It’s all right.

I know this last year has been terrible, so I hope everything’s been okay with you. You look okay.

It’s been very okay. We really had a lot of silver linings during the pandemic. And this is with the obvious caveat that we weren’t financially devastated by it like so many people were, and we were able to remain healthy. But yeah, for us, it was really a time of blessed togetherness for the family. We came through it in good shape. By came through, I don’t want to say it’s over.

No, I understand.

Stay safe.

Where are you on aliens? Before the pandemic I used to be kind of optimistic about aliens. Like Close Encounters and E.T. Now if they show up it feels more like, great, I guess we’re going to have to deal with this now.

Listen. First of all, I’m not going to say… I was about to say firmly believe. But I’m very open-minded about what else may or may not be out there. It seems pretty arrogant to think that we’re it.

I don’t know if they’ve been here, but they’re definitely out there somewhere.

Right. Yeah. So obviously, am I hoping to meet the White Spikes? That would be no.

No. I don’t want to meet the White Spikes.

I’d prefer the E.T. scenario. But this was a great story to tell about the dark side of the alien presence.

See, but I’m a pessimist now after the last year. It’s going to be the White Spikes. That’s what’s coming. It’s not going to be E.T. It’s going to be these people who want to eat us.

Right. In that case then, everybody needs to watch this movie so we can be prepared.

You’re a big baseball fan, right? The Tigers?

I am. Yes.

Did you get to go to the ’68 series?

I didn’t go in person, but I was 13. My family had recently moved from Detroit to Ohio. My new little knucklehead buddies were Reds fans or Indians fans and I was firmly holding onto my Tiger fandom. Then the ’68 World Series was like, that sealed it for life. Still, I’m a Tigers fan. Still. Maybe the greatest world series ever.

Speaking of baseball, and obviously you mentioned earlier you being in a lot of stuff, I forgot you’re in The Scout. Can we talk about the ending of that movie for a little bit? Because it’s the craziest ending.

I could not honestly tell you anything about the ending of that movie.

The final scene is Steve Nebraska trying to strike out Ozzie Smith as a power hitter. I love Ozzie but he has no chance against Steve Nebraska.

Hey, Ozzie had that big home run in the play-offs in whatever year that was.

Yeah, 1985 against the Dodgers.

Yeah. So, that’s not that big a stretch.

I find it remarkable that you were so good as J. Jonah Jameson that Spider-Man has now been rebooted twice at the reboots refused to cast anyone else as that character. Mark Webb literally said he wouldn’t cast anyone else and then when you popped up in Far From Home people went nuts.

It’s very gratifying. Again, I’m nine-years-old reading Spider-Man comics with my cousin, Ron, in his room when we’re visiting on the farm. Then I am, lo these many years later, and a lot of the big comic book fans have become fans of my portrayal of that character. It’s really mind-boggling to think about it from, well, from any perspective, but from my perspective as the little kid that’s always in there. Yeah, it’s been great.

A few weeks ago someone asked you if you’re in the new Ghostbusters. You literally said, “I may or may not be appearing in Ghostbusters and I’m not telling.” You should do that with every movie. Even this one I just watched.

You know what? I think that’s going to be my go-to because I do hate to be the guy that gives a spoiler. But I’m also an idiot and I slip up sometimes. So that’s just my go-to. “I may or may not be in The Tomorrow War.” If I am, I’m working with Chris Pratt and Chris McKay and the gang.

Yeah. Even past movies. “I may or may not be in Roman Holiday, but I’m not telling.”

Yeah, look for me in The Hobbit.

Okay.

Maybe.

Are you aware of the rabid online community on social media for The Accountant?

I don’t know anything about anything online ever.

People love that movie.

I love that movie and I love Gavin O’Connor. Gavin O’Connor, that director, and that kid who starred in that movie?

Yeah. Who was that?

Well, that was a really, really great experience on a lot of levels. Again, I don’t know. There’s talk, and I don’t know from whom, it’s not impossible that maybe there will be a sequel. But you know what? Maybe there will be a sequel to half the movies I’ve ever done. We’ll see.

I can watch it anytime it’s on tv. If I’m flipping through channels and The Accountant on? I’m in.

Yeah, you can’t flip it off!

No.

Listen, I’m very grateful too, and I’m glad it’s got an enduring audience.

Is there a movie like that for you where you’re flipping through channels? Especially over the last year, we’ve had plenty of time.

You know what, I don’t flip through channels all that much because, frankly, I’m either watching whatever my wife and daughter want to watch or if I’m working out of town, I’m watching baseball. But there’s no way I could turn off To Kill A Mockingbird.

‘The Tomorrow War’ begins streaming this weekend via Amazon Prime. You can contact Mike Ryan directly on Twitter.

Despite earning a contract extension before the end of last season, the New York Liberty waived center Kiah Stokes on Wednesday. Stokes is the second rotation player cut by the Liberty this summer after Layshia Clarendon was waived in May.

Stokes has had a tough 2021 campaign, scoring just 1.7 points on 1.2 field goal attempts per game in 15 minutes. She also averaged 4.2 rebounds, 0.6 assists, and 0.7 blocks in nine total appearances. She arrived late from her season in Turkey and missed additional time to compete at EuroBasket.

Though Stokes showed signs of improvement under second-year head coach Walt Hopkins’ new system in 2020, she hasn’t fit as seamlessly as hoped this year. After pulling up from behind the arc in her first four seasons, she attempted 85 in 2020. This year, she’s only taken two, and more significantly, she’s struggled on the defensive end.

The Liberty are expecting the return of Natasha Howard soon, which would have all but eliminated Stokes’ minutes. The 2019 Defensive Player of the Year has been sidelined with a sprained MCL since May 26. The Liberty have won just three of 11 games since her injury.

Without Stokes, the Liberty could look to bring back center Reshanda Gray, who has appeared in six games for the team and scored 6.5 points with 3.2 rebounds in 16.2 minutes.

Jackie Powell of The Next has reported that other WNBA teams have interest in signing Stokes, and listed the Las Vegas Aces as a potential suitor. Bill Laimbeer was Stokes’ head coach in New York for three seasons.

Larry Bird is famous for being one of the most ruthless competitors and trash talkers in the history of the NBA. You already knew this, in all likelihood, but it’s an important thing to remember as you listen to the following story Jamal Mashburn told during a cameo on the Knuckleheads podcast.

Mashburn was a guest of Darius Miles and Quentin Richardson, and recalled being a member of the Select Team that famously scrimmaged against the Dream Team before the latter went to Barcelona and annihilated everyone at the 1992 Olympics. A well-documented element of this is that the Select Team beat the Dream Team in a scrimmage, and as Mashburn tells it, that infamous game happened after Bird told those college players, “Get some f*ckin’ rest, it’s gonna be a long week.”

One player on the select team, Rodney Rogers, kept this in mind after they beat the Dream Team, so after everyone went back to the hotel, Mashburn claims Rogers got Bird’s attention and said, “You ain’t hit a jumper since ’84.” You can probably guess what happened next.

“The next day, we came in, and I’d never seen this, and this was when I was like, ‘This is a different breed,’” Mashburn said. “Magic Johnson fed Larry Bird the ball probably about eight times in a row down court. Larry Bird got the ball on Rodney Rogers, and every time he was about to make a move, he told him what he was going to do.”

As Mashburn recalled, Bird scored every time he did this, then left the court and said, while laying down, “Young fella, look like ’84, huh?”

Let this be a lesson to all of us: If you ever get the opportunity to talk trash to Larry Bird, don’t.

Hamilton set the American Revolution to music. Matt Thompson is setting it on fire, throwing fireworks on the pile while werewolves and founding fathers with chainsaw hands dance. Welcome to an utterly bonkers rewriting of American history at a time when large portions of the country seem susceptible to believing utterly bonkers rewritings of American history. But let’s not talk politics. America: The Motion Picture wasn’t created as a response to the devaluation of facts. As director (and Archer co-creator) Matt Thompson tells us, “wouldn’t it be cool if this is how it went” became a guiding philosophy. And so beer replaces tea at the Boston Tea Party and George Washington and Abe Lincoln are besties.

A project ten years in the making from the writer (Dave Callaham) behind some of this moment’s most accomplished big-budget comic book epics (Shang-Chi and Wonder Woman: 1984) the animated America: The Motion Picture (which is available to stream now on Netflix) goes big with action filled sequences while featuring a Rushmore-esque (I’m shameless!) voice cast. Thompson raves about Channing Tatum’s (George Washington) “boundless energy,” how Andy Samberg (Benedict Arnold) is a “rifle of fun,” and how Jason Mantzoukas (Samuel Adams), Olivia Munn (Thomas Edison), Raoul Max Trujillo (Geronimo), Simon Pegg (King James), and others made the characters their own. But while this is, essentially, an All-Star comedy smash em-up, there’s also an effort to make you care about these ridiculous versions of characters you barely remember reading about. Below, we talk with Thompson about that, messing with history, and whether there’s more story to tell.

Somewhat predictably, this has landed squarely in the midst of a moment of alt-history and nationalistic propaganda.

We’re just coming at this through a comedic lens. We wanted to do a revisionist take on the founding of America as if was being told by an idiot.

As it often is.

Yeah. We just found it funny. What would happen if George Washington and Abraham Lincoln were best friends and they went to Ford’s Theater and Benedict Arnold, their other best friend, turned into a werewolf and bit off Lincoln’s head? And that’s what started the American revolution? We found that to be very funny and we took that ball and went with it from there.

There are some side characters that get roped into this, to a certain extent. And if you have a bad memory and you’ve been away from formal education for a long enough time, there are some things, aside from the werewolf, where you almost forget the exact details. You kind of play with that a little bit.

Yep. Very much so. A very good example of that is, Simon Pegg does an awesome job as King James, who is fighting against the colonists who are trying to found America. We didn’t fight against King James. [Laughs] But we stuck with King James as the name because we wanted to see how well people would even know that.

Yeah, and I didn’t. It’s canon now, I guess.

There are so many things in the movie that are rooted in truth, but then it takes a severely different turn. And we found that to be great because it wasn’t just that we were making fun, but it was also, wouldn’t that be cool if that’s the way that it went? Wouldn’t that be a cooler starting place for America, if you had Sam Adams and he was the inventor of beer and beer is what we were using in our fight against the British instead of tea? So yeah, sure, the Boston Tea Party is in there, but our Boston tea party takes place on King James’ boat, the Titanic. And it’s not just a tea party, it’s how we’re getting beer into the conversation. And so all of those slightly adjacent things were very amusing to us.

If this is popular enough, in 50 years’ time, once the haze of history occurs, people may just think, “yeah, the tea party happened on the Titanic. It was a massive rager, and there were werewolves among us back then.”

If I can convince people that a werewolf and chainsaw hands on George Washington were part of what was the founding of America, my job here is complete.

What’s the kind of order to the chaos here? Were there any rules of the road? Anything you didn’t want to touch?

Dave Callaham, the writer, had one rule, which was for him, it was no research. He just wanted to not necessarily know exactly what happened. And so there’s actually a nod to him saying that to me over and over again, when King James lands in America, he says, “Oh, has George Washington not read the rules?” And we pan up to a list of ten rules that King James was trying to tell the colonists, and one of them was no research. And so that was Dave’s number one rule about how he wanted to do this.

And I agreed with him, but at the same time, my number one rule was, at the end, wouldn’t it be better, even if… comedically it’s very silly, that we started from this place. Would it be better if George Washington, as our leader, was a person that listened to all voices in the end, who learned, and who came to understand that we were better together — all races, creeds, colors, sexual orientations? And that was my feeling, which was, it’s a revisionist tale, so at least in the comedy, say what you hope for.

Obviously, you’ve done a ton of directing on animated projects before, but this is your first film. What were the surprises for you during this process?

I thought when I entered into this three years ago, that this was just going to be like making three episodes of Archer, back-to-back. And boy, was I wrong. I basically was afforded the right to go to film school to figure out why this is different, and I was surrounded by an incredible team. I’ll never forget, I screened the movie for my partners a handful of times over the last couple of years. And I was screening the movie for Phil Lord and Chris Miller (they were integral to me making sure the movie had heart and that it pulled me through and that I really cared about the characters instead of just making jokes) and it was a Monday morning. And Sunday night, I had watched them accept the Oscar for Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse. And I’m sitting in this room with them, less than 12 hours after they accepted an Oscar for the best-animated feature going, “Boy, I should probably listen.”

The number one thing that I learned was yes, we have the most insane, crazy jokes that we’re doing. From dinosaur ranchers, to the sinking of the Titanic, to chainsaw arms, whatever. But make sure you care about the characters, make sure that they have clear goals set out and that you want to root for them and you want to see them win and succeed. And so hopefully, you get to see that Lord and Miller part that they greatly helped put into this movie.

Is this something you want to do more of?

We actually have a loose one-pager about how to continue this as a television series, but I’m not sure if everything’s going to come together correctly or not, but we have been talking about how we could evolve this passage. But first, right now, we just want to see what America’s reaction to it is. I just want to see if people react to it. I think one of the big problems that I’ve run into over the years is just, do people even know that it’s there? There’s so much product out there. And so first, we just need to see, is this a tale that people enjoy hearing? I hope so. I want to hear more stories about the giant Paul Bunyan battling the giant Big Ben. So first of all, just want to see how that goes.

‘America: The Motion Picture’ is currently streaming via Netflix.

After breaking through with their 2020 debut, Moveys, indie shoegazers Slow Pulp released their new 7″, Deleted Scenes, and announced a fall North American tour. The news arrives with a video for the new song, “Iowa,” starring lots of jellyfish. The song is a reimagined version of their acclaimed single, “Idaho.” This version doubles down on the exquisite “Stumbleine” guitars but submerges Emily Massey’s clarion vocals into a lower pitch.

Massey, along with bassist Alexander Leeds, drummer Theodore Mathews, and guitarist Henry Stoehr, formed Slow Pulp the old-fashioned way: as childhood friends. The last member to join was singer/guitarist Massey, who was previously training to become a professional ballerina before becoming an indie-rock singer/guitarist.

Slow Pulp will be performing songs from their debut for the first time on tour this fall, with support from acts like Girl K, Mamalarky, and Strange Ranger. Tickets are for sale on the band’s website. See the full list of dates below.

11/04 — Madison, WI @ Majestic Theater *
11/05 — Milwaukee, WI @ Colectivo *
11/06 — Minneapolis, MN @ 7th Street Entry *
11/09 — Denver, CO @ Globe Hall #
11/10 — Salt Lake City, UT @ Kilby Court #
11/12 — Seattle, WA @ Barboza #
11/13 — Vancouver, BC @ The Biltmore #
11/14 — Portland, OR @ Mississippi Studios #
11/16 — San Francisco, CA @ Bottom of the Hill #
11/18 — Los Angeles, CA @ The Echo #
11/19 — San Diego, CA @ Soda Bar #
11/20 — Phoenix, AZ @ Valley Bar #
11/22 — Austin, TX @ The Parish #
11/23 — Dallas, TX @ Ruins #
11/30 — Indianapolis, IN @ The Hi-Fi ^
12/01 — Columbus, OH @ Big Room Bar ^
12/03 — Nashville, TN @ The High Watt ^
12/04 — Atlanta, GA @ The Earl ^
12/05 — Carrboro, NC @ Cat’s Cradle ^
12/07 — Washington, DC @ Songbyrd ^
12/08 — Philadelphia, PA @ Johnny Brenda’s ^
12/10 — Brooklyn, NY @ Elsewhere – Zone One ^
12/11 — Boston, MA @ Brighton Music Hall ^
12/12 — Burlington, VT @ Higher Ground Sideroom ^
12/14 — Toronto, ON @ The Garrison ^
12/15 — Cleveland, OH @ Mahall’s ^
12/16 — Detroit, MI @ El Club ^
12/17 — Chicago, IL @ Lincoln Hall*

* with Girl K
# with Mamalarky
^ with Strange Ranger

The Deleted Scenes 7-inch is out now digitally, and will be available physically on 11/12 via Winspear. Pre-order the vinyl here.

It’s easy to call Donald Trump the [Comic Book Guy voice] worst. president. ever. But that would be incorrect: he’s only the worst living president.

C-SPAN asked 142 historians and professional observers of the presidency to rank every president of the United States of America in several categories, including Pursued Equal Justice For All, Economic Management, and Performance Within Context of Times. Trump’s best showing was in Public Persuasion, where he placed 32nd. Among all presidents in all categories, he finished #41 out of 44 (Joe Biden was not included and Grover Cleveland, who was elected to two nonconsecutive terms, only counts once).

Historians rate Trump as the worst president in history on two of 10 qualities, “moral authority” and “administrative skills.”

Since 2000, C-SPAN has taken the survey each time there has been a change in administrations. The public affairs network, known for its gavel-to-gavel coverage of the House and Senate, said that in this year’s survey, it significantly increased the number of historians participating and their diversity in race, gender, age, and philosophy.

The only presidents to rank lower than Trump are Franklin Pierce, Andrew Johnson, and in last place, James Buchanan. Tough break for a terrible POTUS. He finished with a meager 227 points compared to 312 for Trump and 897 for Abraham Lincoln (#1). The rest of the top five goes George Washington, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Theodore Roosevelt, and Dwight D. Eisenhower, while Barack Obama ranked the highest among living presidents (#10) followed by Bill Clinton (#19), Jimmy Carter (#26), and George W. Bush (#29).

Meanwhile, the great-great-great-great-whatever grandkids of William Henry Harrison, who died 32 days into his term, can sleep easy tonight knowing that he finished one spot ahead of Trump.

(Via C-SPAN and USA Today)

After years of public court hearings about her legally-appointed conservatorship, Britney Spears made her first on-the-record comments about her situation last week. The singer called the conservatorship “abusive” and claimed that it is restricting a number of her personal freedoms, like being able to get married and remove her implanted birth control. In the past, Spears’ lawyers have claimed the singer has taken issue with her father being her co-conservator, and now, he has responded to Spears’ claims.

According to a report from TMZ, Spears’ father, Jamie, denies being the one who is control of her personal life decisions like being on birth control and having limited time with her boyfriend. Jamie says he’s responsible for the singer’s finances, and co-conservator Jodi Montgomery has been at the helm all of her day-to-day decisions for nearly two years.

TMZ’s report notes that Jamie says he hasn’t spoken directly to Spears in a long time since “he has been cut off from communicating with her.” Jamie allegedly blames Montgomery for Spears’ discontent, and alleges the court never found her unfit to make medical decisions for herself. In other words, Jamie claims that Spears is legally allowed to make the decision remove her birth control independently from Montgomery. TMZ includes a line from legal documents that allege: “Ms. Montgomery has been fully in charge of Ms. Spears’ day-to-day personal care and medical treatment, and Ms. Montgomery has made all decisions related to those matters.”

Jamie’s lawyer reportedly claims that he actually called for the court to investigated the claims his daughter made about her conservatorship last week:

“Mr. Spears believes it is important for the integrity of the conservatorship proceedings and in the best interests of Ms. Spears for the Court to order an investigation into the issues and claims raised by [Britney] at the June 23, 2021 status hearing. […] Either the allegations will be shown to be true, in which case corrective action must be taken, or they will be shown to be false, in which case the conservatorship can continue its course. It is not acceptable for Conservators or the Court to do nothing in response to Ms. Spears’ testimony.”

After Spears went public about her conservatorship last week, there has been an outpouring of support for her. Her sister Jamie Lynn made a statement of support, and celebrities like Christina Aguilera and even Stephen Colbert shared similar sentiments.

In a wide-ranging interview ahead of her work in five films for the Cannes Film Festival, Tilda Swinton addressed the “hot, sticky, gnarly moment” that occurred when her casting as the Ancient One in Doctor Strange stirred up criticism of whitewashing for the Marvel movie. While Swinton feels that the incident was “necessary for the industry to move forward,” she now admits that her handling of the situation was not the best, particularly the way she reached out to comedian Margaret Cho and asked her for help in understanding the situation, which Cho found “weird” at the time.

“I made a questionable decision to reach out to somebody in a certain way, which was naive and clearly confusing, because their misunderstanding came about because of it,” Swinton told Variety. “I was embarrassed that I had maybe gone up a blind alley in starting the correspondence in the first place — maybe I had confused matters — but beyond that, I have zero regrets.”

Back in December 2016, Cho famously revealed the details of the call with Swinton, who asked that she not tell anyone about the conversation. Instead, Cho aired her thoughts on the Bobby Lee’s TigerBelly podcast, and the details were not great. Via Vulture:

“It was a long fight about why the part should not have gone to her. That’s what I thought: The part should not have gone to her,” said Cho. “We’d fight about it and basically it ended with her saying, ‘Well I’m producing a movie and Steven Yeun is starring.’” (This is no doubt a reference to Bong Joon-ho’s upcoming film Okja in which Swinton stars with Yeun.)

“Oh, like I have a black friend,” Lee joked.

“It was weird because I felt like a house Asian, like I’m her servant,” Cho said.

As Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness began production, Marvel Studios head Kevin Feige recently addressed the Ancient One controversy, and he, too, admits it could have been handled better.

“We’re not going to do the cliché of the wizened, old, wise Asian man,” Feige explained to Men’s Health. “But it was a wake-up call to say, ‘Well, wait a minute, is there any other way to figure it out? Is there any other way to both not fall into the cliché and cast an Asian actor?’ And the answer to that, of course, is yes.”

(Via Variety)

LeBron James is keeping himself busy following a rare early exit from the NBA playoffs. With the release of Space Jam: A New Legacy coming up in July, he’s doing everything he can to promote the movie. One such way is to enter into the world of gaming — James has multiple gaming-related partnerships coming, such as an arcade beat’em up and a recently-announced collaboration with Candy Crush.

One of the most popular mobile games ever, Candy Crush is a simple but highly addictive: Match three candies together to crush them and earn points, and create combos so those candies will be crushed for higher points. Now, players will be able to, for a short time, play Candy Crush with LeBron James, Bugs Bunny, and all their favorite Space Jam heroes. Also, some of the candies are now basketballs, which is a very nice touch.

This may sound a little weird to some, but one-time events like this are really common in long-running games, especially in the mobile market. It’s a way to not only bring in some new players, but to also keep longtime players interested in seeing what new events will be popping up as they play the game. Kids will love it and people who are fans of LeBron might give the game a try because of it, making this a win for everyone.

There’s a lot going on in Disney’s Jungle Cruise. Even aside from the story itself (based upon the theme park ride), the biggest showpiece here is the cast, all with larger-than-life performances. Heck, the last trailer had Emily Blunt punching The Rock and Jesse Plemons firing a torpedo at The Rock after brandishing a German accent and shouting, “Hallöchen!” Well, The Rock (sort-of) gets his revenge with this newest trailer, which introduces The Skipper, who’s guiding people down the river in his ramshackle vessel through all sorts of life-threatening obstacles. And we’ve got Paul Giamatti doing his own brand of very huge accent work while pointing toward either a white parrot or a cockatoo. Does it matter which one is more accurate here? Nope, because these actors are all putting on the biggest performances possible, and it’s a welcome sight during a time where we’ve missed movies.

Naturally, The Rock had to go full-on The Rock in the intro by trolling his leading lady and pretending not to know her name. It’s a joke that threatens to run thin, but since this entire production is so campy, we’ll let him roll with it. Also, Emily Blunt’s the one who’s having a real moment these days with the so-tense-it-makes-your-stomach-hurt A Quiet Place 2, and this movie that’s guaranteed to (at least) run well on Disney+ with a decent theatrical take, too. Big actors, big roles, big set pieces. Check, check, and check.

From the film’s synopsis, which refers to Blunt’s professor character:

Lily is determined to uncover an ancient tree with unparalleled healing abilities — possessing the power to change the future of medicine. Thrust on this epic quest together, the unlikely duo encounters innumerable dangers and supernatural forces, all lurking in the deceptive beauty of the lush rainforest. But as the secrets of the lost tree unfold, the stakes reach even higher for Lily and Frank and their fate—and mankind’s — hangs in the balance.

Disney’s Jungle Cruise also stars Edgar Ramírez and Jack Whitehall. The film releases in U.S. theaters and on Disney+ with Premier Access on July 30, 2021.