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Was The ‘The White Lotus’ Finale The Perfect Ending To A Limited Series?

(Yes, There Will Be Spoilers)

Even as television has started to eclipse movies in the cultural conversation, we’ve become accustomed to disappointing endings. Even with beloved shows slightly disappointing finales (or at least polarizing ones), are practically the norm — Seinfeld, The Sopranos, Lost, Game of Thrones — the list goes on. These days if you can end a popular series without the fans sending you death threats or petitioning to remake the final season, you’ve succeeded.

The ending doesn’t necessarily make or break a show. Just as with an ex or a dead relative, we can choose to remember the better days if it serves us. Endings are hard, that’s just the nature of them. As Brian DePalma said, “Endings are tough. If you can get two or three great endings to your movies in a career, it’s a miracle.”

Last night’s The White Lotus finale on HBO Max gave us arguably the ultimate counter-example: a series that maybe didn’t become a classic until the ending. As Brian Cox’s fictionalized screenwriting guru Robert McKee lectures in Adaptation, “Wow them with the ending, and you’ve got yourself a hit.” Is this now true for television too?

All season, Mike White’s series (he wrote and directed all six episodes) bent genres. It was largely a farce-ish comedy of manners set at a fictional resort in Hawaii (it was filmed at the Four Seasons in Maui). Yet The White Lotus was always heavy on the drama, whether it was the long-suffering hotel manager, Armond (Murray Bartlett) repeatedly falling off the wagon and getting caught with his face in an underling’s ass (HBO’s second depiction of comedic analingus after Desie and Marni on Girls, if my math serves) or Paula (Brittany O’Grady) convincing her island boyfriend, Kai (Kekoa Kekumano) to rob her friend’s rich parents, and the ensuing fight scene.

In a lot of ways, The Sopranos is The White Lotus‘s closest analogue. A big part of the appeal of both is that every character is an asshole in his or her own special way, a kaleidoscope of assholes (in White Lotus‘s case both literal and metaphorical). White Lotus was heavy on contemporary politics, especially amongst the Mossbachers, and neither the smarmy Sheryl Sandberg-esque mom played by Connie Britton, her college lib know-it-all daughter played by Sydney Sweeney, or the rest of the family (clueless dad played by Steve Zahn, weirdo incel son played by Fred Hechinger, a tokenized friend of the fam Paula) ever came out seeming like the “winner” in any conversation. That’s a rare quality when political satires often start with the answer rather than the question and work backward to hector the dumbest viewer until they submit.

The White Lotus finale even gave us its first death scene, which, Sopranos-like, it treated with equal elements of comedy, tragedy, slapstick, and farce. Not since Pauly Walnuts walked through poison oak trying to kill Mikey Palmice or Tony beat Ralphie to death over a horse have we seen a death as perfectly staged and executed as Armond expiring from a stab wound to the chest in a hotel bathtub after spitefully shitting in a guest’s suitcase.

Yet The Sopranos was a “mob show,” at least in format if not entirely in practice. The Sopranos, Game of Thrones, Eastbound and Down, Six Feet Under, Girls, even Succession and Mare of Easttown — usually with HBO shows we at least have a general idea of what kind of show we’re getting. With all those shows, we knew what “the hook” would be, so to speak.

White Lotus left things ambiguous almost to the end, refusing to be less than the sum of its disparate parts. It seemed to be a comedy, but it opened with a dead body. It actually wasn’t until last night’s finale that I even remembered the opening — the terminal yuppie, Shane Patton (played by Jake Lacy) watching a box marked “HUMAN REMAINS” being loaded into the cargo compartment of a Hawaiian Airlines plane. About the best thing any story can do is make you forget the elevator pitch, and in just six episodes Mike White had made me forget that White Lotus was ostensibly about a dead body. How long did it take Breaking Bad to outgrow being about a science teacher with cancer?

With the finale, White Lotus added suspense to its genre stew, adding foreshadowing (the pineapple knife) and dropping a few Agatha Christie-worthy red herrings along the way. Jon Gries, playing the new lover of Jennifer Coolidge’s messy space cadet, Tanya (Uncle Rico and Stifler’s Mom, how about that), had his third or fourth coughing fit, and even warned her about his unnamed “health issues,” saying “I could drop dead at any time,” just to put a finer point on it.

Would the body be Greg (Gries), one of the Mossbachers (the robbery, a canoeing or SCUBA accident or shark attack), Kai the gregarious safe robber, or a domestic incident involving the Pattons? White kept his options open right up until the very end when it turned out to be the pineapple knife after all. But only after an unforgettable sequence involving an open suitcase and multiple visible turds. What a gift! (Minor quibble: how are you going to show the turds falling with no visible pee? No one can poop without peeing, though I’d love to see that parlor trick).

White Lotus yet again shattered the myth of “likeability,” a forceful rebuke to every exec and studio note giver who has ever complained about there being “no one to root for.” None of these characters especially seemed like people you’d want to succeed or even necessarily to hang out with in real life (we call that “pulling a reverse Ted Lasso“). But it didn’t matter. Because that never matters, really. We don’t need “heroes” for a story to be compelling, just characters, fully fleshed out and recognizable in both their triumphs and their failings.

And in the end, White gave the happy ending (a sort of bittersweet and ironic one) to its most initially throwaway character — Quinn, the 16-year-old dirtbag incel, such an afterthought to everyone around him that his own family forces him to sleep outside. Fred Hechinger so perfectly embodied “creepy brother” that he was basically a sight gag.

Even after Armond bled out and Rachel locked herself back into what would surely be unfulfilling marriage (defying easy catharsis to the point that I was actually shouting at the TV), Quinn was the one who got to paddle out into the sunset. It was both a triumph and a tragedy, an ending and a beginning, the perfect bittersweet note for a show to go out on. “Good” or “bad,” Mike White wrote every character as if they mattered. He proved that it’s possible to do that even in a comedy, or a whodunnit; that it only makes the funny parts funnier and the sad parts sadder.

Vince Mancini is on Twitter. You can access his archive of reviews here.

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Ryan Trey Grooves Through A Live Performance Of ‘It’s About A Girl’ For ‘UPROXX Sessions’

Hailing from St. Louis, Missouri, today’s guest on UPROXX Sessions is 21-year-old rapper-singer, Ryan Trey. With his album A 64 East Saga on the way, Ryan drops by the Uproxx Studios office to give a soulful performance of the project single “It’s About A Girl.” Over a muddy, swirling synth and hardcore kick drum, Ryan salutes a girl he describes as “top two, but you’re not two,” praising her for “changin’ keys on the regular.”

Dropping his debut album EIGHT24 in 2018, Ryan has continued building a following of loyal supporters, which include fellow Midwesterners Bryson Tiller and LeBron James. He’s also set to open for Jack Harlow for Sprite’s Live From The Label concert series this Wednesday, which could be the start of a star run that could soon put him in a similar position to the one Harlow currently occupies.

Watch Ryan Trey’s live performance of “It’s About A Girl” for UPROXX Sessions above.

UPROXX Sessions is Uproxx’s performance show featuring the hottest up-and-coming acts you should keep an eye on. Featuring creative direction from LA promotion collective, Ham On Everything, and taking place on our “bathroom” set designed and painted by Julian Gross, UPROXX Sessions is a showcase of some of our favorite performers, who just might soon be yours, too.

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LeVar Burton’s ‘Jeopardy!’ Ratings Reportedly Lagged Behind Those Of Other Guest Hosts

LeVar Burton may have had all the internet buzz when it came to potentially taking over as Jeopardy! host, but those tweets certainly didn’t translate into eyeballs on the syndicated trivia game show.

While the last week has been full of discussion and controversy over who Jeopardy! picked as its next hosts, a common name frustrated fans brought up when mentioning alternatives is former Reading Rainbow host LeVar Burton. Burton fans were outraged he did not get asked to host the show over Mike Richards and Mayim Bialik, who will host the syndicated run and ABC prime time events, respectively.

A rumor that Burton was offered a production deal was also squashed much to his supporters’ dismay. Picking the successor to Alex Trebek has turned into a messy process involving behind-the-scenes politics, on-screen performance and other metrics of evaluation. One thing missing from that discourse, however, was how Burton actually did in the Jeopardy! ratings. But as Newsweek uncovered on Monday it was probably for the best that wasn’t a factor for Burton, because his week guest hosting the show in July was the worst reported stretch of the guest host periods this year:

But figures obtained by Newsweek from Nielsen Media Research show that the TV personality actually landed at the bottom of the guest-hosting pile, with a paltry 4.4 audience share during his single week at the helm of the syndicated quiz show.

Before that, Savannah Guthrie and Dr. Sanjay Gupta held the record with a tied low of 4.7 during one of their two weeks as presenter—a figure also shared by Good Morning America’s Robin Roberts during her week of hosting.

Newsweek pointed out that Ken Jennings had the highest ratings of the year, taking over for the late Trebek first and posting a high of 6.1 during his six weeks of hosting. Richards, the eventual pick to replace Trebek, had a 5.9 rating during his fortnight behind the podium. Those stood as the highs for the current season, which ended on Friday with broadcaster Joe Buck hosting the show.

Looking at these ratings as a 1:1 comparison is, of course, a bit unfair. But for one reason or another the show saw a steady decline in ratings as the guest hosting string went along. Jennings also hosted immediately after Trebek’s death, and there was considerable buzz over how he would do. Both his and Richards’ hosting duties were also in winter, not late in the summer when people may be less likely to sit down and watch syndicated television with the sun still out.

It’s also worth noting that Burton got just a single week to guest host, while most got a full fortnight’s worth of shows filmed over two days. That may have a lot to do with his actual performance on the show, which he himself admitted wasn’t nearly as good as he’d hoped. All of those factors, whether fair or not, conspired to keep him out in the cold when it came to who the show actually picked to succeed Trebek.

If you’re a fan of Burton and want him to host Jeopardy!, though, none of the numbers we’re seeing (or his own performance review) will deter the frustration of seeing Richards and Bialik taking over full-time. And it’s worth noting that we don’t have ratings data for David Faber or Buck just yet, so Burton may not end the season as the worst-rated guest host. But what is clear is despite Burton being the talk of Twitter in the aftermath of the hiring decision, his presence actually hosting the show did little to move the needle in the ratings.

[via Newsweek]

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Jalen Green Is Glad The Pistons Didn’t Take Him Because ‘There Are Not Many Things You Can Do In Detroit’

Jalen Green became the leading star of Summer League before a hamstring injury put him on the shelf in Las Vegas, as the No. 2 overall pick looked every bit of the star Houston hopes he can become in his three games of action.

Summer League always figured to be a comfortable place for Green to shine, as his best attribute is as an on-ball scorer, a role that is regularly augmented by the Summer League environment. As Green showed out and stole headlines, the overreaction machine began spinning and some began to wonder if Detroit had erred in not taking the young guard out of the G League first overall. Detroit instead took Cade Cunningham, who had been the presumptive first overall pick for more than a calendar year, and while Cunningham showed flashes of brilliance in Vegas, he wasn’t as consistently dominant as a scorer as Green, which is the area that first jumps off the page at Summer League.

Green hasn’t been shy about saying he wants to make Detroit pay for taking Cunningham ahead of him, but he also wants it to be known that he didn’t want to live in Detroit anyways, telling Chris Haynes of Yahoo how he wasn’t impressed with the city in his time there for workouts.

“I wanted to be the No. 1 pick, but as for the location, I didn’t want to be in Detroit,” Green told Yahoo Sports. “I felt a lot more comfortable in Houston. It felt like a real homie environment. With Detroit, it felt like I was just going back to the G League bubble, and I just got out of the bubble. That’s pretty much what it was.

“In the [G League] bubble, I didn’t really have anything to do but just stay in the gym. I didn’t have any time to get away for myself. The only time I had to get away for myself was in my apartment. That’s what it felt like in Detroit. I wouldn’t be stepping outside in Detroit. There are not many things you can do in Detroit like that. You’re going to stay in the gym and then go back to your apartment.”

You can be sure that quote won’t sit well with the folks up in Detroit, and it is funny to think about how differently he would be talking about the city had the Pistons taken him. Still, it’s kind of fun to imagine a very random Rockets-Pistons rivalry forming by sheer force of will from Green to talk enough trash about Detroit to turn an entire city against him. Pistons fans will hold tightly to this one, and if Green and the Rockets struggle to emerge from the pack in the West before Detroit and Cunningham do, you can rest assured they’ll be ready to throw this one back in his face.

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Our Fried Mortadella Sandwich Is What Boring Bologna Dreams Of Being

Have you ever had a fried mortadella sandwich? We’re not talking about just another bologna sandwich here. This is what a bologna sandwich dreams of becoming in its tastiest fantasies. Hell, even the standard mortadella sandwich you get anywhere on the streets of Italy can’t compete, though I love those deeply. This is fried mortadella — a very special treat found in the food halls of São Paulo and wider Brazil.

The fried mortadella sandwich has become an Italian-Brazilian cornerstone of central markets and food halls in Brazil’s capital. It’s a stacked sandwich with about a half-pound (or more) of thinly sliced mortadella that’s fried on a flattop, topped with melty cheese, and piled high on a fresh bread roll with a little mustard and mayo. This is not healthy food. In fact, this might be the most unhealthy thing we’ve ever cooked in this series.

That said, it’s f*cking delicious and always the first meal I seek out when I go to Brazil. And often the second meal, too.

Since going to Brazil is pretty much out of the question at the moment, I decided to start the week off strong and make this sandwich at home. I got some decent mortadella from Italy, a good bread roll from the corner bakery, and some solid cheese. That’s really all it takes — so let’s get cooking!

Fried Mortadella Sandwich

Zach Johnston

Ingredients:

  • 0.5-lb. Italian mortadella
  • 1 bun
  • 1 slice gruyère
  • 1 slice cheddar
  • Mayo
  • Mustard

Don’t skimp on the mortadella. You need that proper, nutty, slightly spicy, and fatty mortadella from a good Italian deli. If you use something like Oscar Meyer bologna, it’ll taste completely different (and a lot worse). American bologna is not a substitute for a real Italian mortadella. Ever. (If you don’t have an Italian deli handy, try a Persian grocer.)

I’m also doubling up on the cheese. All the sandos I had in food halls in Brazil did not go easy on the cheese. So, I’m layering Swiss gruyere with Irish cheddar. Neither are over the top but melt nicely and bring some serious cheesiness to the mix.

Other than that, the rest is easy. It’s just a fresh bread roll, good mayo, and mildly spicy brown mustard.

Zach Johnston

What You’ll Need:

  • Large saute pan
  • Tongs
  • Bread knife
  • Cutting board
  • Spatula
Zach Johnston

Method:

  • Get your cheese, mortadella, sauces, and bun lined up while the saute pan heats up on medium heat.
  • Add the mortadella to the saute pan and brown on each side while folding and stacking the mortadella to the side of the pan. A lot of fat will render out during this process so you do NOT need any oil in the pan to start. I like to turn the whole pile over after I add a new layer, this will allow the crispy edges to layer into the body of the sandwich.
  • Once you’ve browned off and stacked all the mortadella, top the stack with the cheese and the crown of the bun. Let the cheese melt while the bun steams on low heat.
  • Add a layer of mayo and mustard to the heal and crown of the bun.
  • Use the spatula to move the giant stack of fried mortadella to the heal bun.
  • Top with the crown, slice down the middle, and serve immediately.
Zach Johnston

Bottom Line:

Zach Johnston

I’m not going to lie, this was a greasy mess and I loved every goddamn bite of it. The mortadella was nice and warm, which really accentuated the nutmeg and clove in the spice mix while the fattiness literally melted in my mouth.

Zach Johnston

The cheese was the perfect, gooey counterpoint with a touch of funk next to a mild nuttiness. The melted cheese, mortadella fat, mustard, and mayo sort of coalesced to create a funky, cheesy, and fatty sauce. It was… not hard to finish this sandwich. And it was a pretty honkin’ sandwich, so that’s saying something.

The textural element of the fried mortadella is the real treasure here. The grilled fatty sausage took on this brilliant Maillard effect and crisped up as well as any good-quality bacon. This added an “x-factor” that took this from just a hot mortadella sandwich with some melted cheese to something truly delightful.

Let me go ride my bike for a week. Then I’m eating this again.

Zach Johnston
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‘The Witcher: Blood Origin’ Reveals Ten New Cast Members Have Been Added To The Netflix Spinoff Series

Following the massive popularity of Netflix’s The Witcher, the streaming service has been quick to greenlight additional shows and movies set in the novel-turned-video game series’ land of monsters, magic, and coin-tossing. Among these is The Witcher: Blood Origin, a prequel series starring actress Michelle Yeoh (Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Star Trek Discovery, Crazy Rich Asians) that follows Yeoh’s character, Scían, as she “launches herself into a deadly quest that will change the outcome of the Continent.” While we might not know much about what this quest entails just yet, we do know Scían will surely need some help on the way. Luckily for us, Netflix has finally announced who’s joining the party.

According to Variety, ten new cast members — as well as two directors — have been attached to The Witcher: Blood Origin. Mirren Mack is set to play Merwyn, Lenny Henry will play Balor, Jacob Collins will play Eredin, Lizzie Annis will play Zacaré, Huw Novelli will play Callan, of “Brother Death,” Francesca Mills will play Meldof, Amy Murray will play Fenrik, Nathaniel Curtis will play Brían, Zach Wyatt will play Syndril, and last but not least, Dylan Moran will play Uthrok One-Nut. In addition, both Sarah O’Gorman (Cursed, The Last Kingdom) and Vicky Jewson (Close, Born of War) are set to direct three episodes each of the six-episode mini-series.

As you can see — and much unlike Yeoh — nearly all of the new additions to The Witcher: Blood Origin are fresh faces with just a handful of roles to their names. Furthermore, while their character names have been given, we really don’t have much of an idea how exactly they’ll fit into the Elven world set 1200 years before the events of The Witcher. What we do know is that the upcoming series is actually covering one of the most mysterious and profound events to happen in The Witcher series: The Conjunction of the Spheres.

The Conjunction of the Spheres refers to the cataclysmic event in which the infinite universes existing in the world of The Witcher collided into one another, creating multidimensional rifts that allowed supernatural creatures and magic to enter the previously mundane world. This event essentially birthed magic into the world and created the need for Witchers such as everyone’s favorite, Geralt of Rivia.

As of right now, no release date has been set for The Witcher: Blood Origins, which is set to begin filming in the United Kingdom this fall. However, you can catch Geralt, Yennefer, Ciri, and Jaskier when The Witcher returns December 17 over on Netflix.

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Jennifer Coolidge Says She’s Down To Portray Melania Trump In A Biopic: ‘Where Do I Sign?’

When it comes to iconic character actors, no one is doing it quite like Jennifer Coolidge. The blonde, often-bouffanted star — known for her roles in Legally Blonde, American Pie, Two Broke Girls, and recent HBO series The White Lotus — has made her living off of portraying women with huge personalities and little shame or self-awareness. Her natural knack for portraying very unnatural trophy wives has earned her a lot of praise over the years, and could even give her a bit of an edge when it comes to securing a big role Coolidge says she’s ready to take on: Melania Trump.

In an interview with The Guardian, Coolidge was asked if she’d ever consider playing Melania Trump in a biopic following several people noting similarities between the actress and the former first lady on social media. While she laughed at the thought of how Melania might take the whole ordeal, Coolidge says she’s ready to sign up for it.

What a compliment. Where do I sign [laughs]? Between you and I, though, I’m sure Melania would be bummed.

The interviewer then proceeded to ask Coolidge what other types of projects and genres she was interested in outside of her usual work, to which Coolidge replied with “a serious play” before tacking on “and then the Melania biopic, of course.”

While Coolidge was absolutely playing up her answers to provide us with some much-needed laughs during her interview, it wouldn’t be the first time a star has manifested a role by purely revealing interest in it. Here’s hoping the right person notices her interest in the role and gets to work on the cathartic Trump-era comedy we all need because a Coolidge-version of Melania sounds hilarious.

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André 3000 Has Been Cast In Netflix’s Don DeLillo Adaptation, ‘White Noise’

Outkast favorite André 3000 has reportedly been cast in the upcoming Netflix film White Noise, which is directed by Noah Baumbach (who helmed Marriage Story) and also stars Adam Driver, Don Cheadle, Greta Gerwig, and Jodie Turner-Smith. Based on the 1985 novel of the same name by Don DeLillo, the movie, according to Netflix, “dramatizes a contemporary American family’s attempt to deal with the mundane conflicts of day-to-day life while grappling with the larger philosophical issues of love, death, and the possibility of happiness in an uncertain world.”

Since leaving Outkast in 2007, André has acted in a handful of roles over the last 15 years, notably appearing as Jimi Hendrix in the 2013 biographical drama Jimi: All Is By My Side, for which he was nominated for an Independent Spirit Award for Best Male Lead.

In 2019, the Atlanta rapper delved into why he has no interest in releasing a solo album, telling Rick Rubin on the Broken Record podcast, “I haven’t been making much music, man. My focus is not there. My confidence is not there. I tinker a lot. I’ll just go to a piano and sit my iPhone down and just record what I’m doing. Move my fingers around and whatever happens, but I haven’t been motivated to do a serious project. I’d like to, but it’s just not coming. In my own self I’m trying to figure out where do I sit? I don’t even know what I am and maybe I’m nothing. Maybe I’m not supposed to be anything. Maybe my history is kind of handicapping in a way.”

White Noise is currently filming in Cleveland, Ohio and is expected to hit Netflix sometime in 2022.

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The Weeknd’s ‘Blinding Lights’ Is Now The Longest-Charting Song Of All Time

When last week’s Billboard Hot 100 chart was released, it was noted that The Weeknd’s “Blinding Lights” had tied Imagine Dragons’ “Radioactive” for the most time spent on the chart, and it was therefore one week away from claiming the record outright. Sure enough, on the latest Hot 100 (dated August 21), “Blinding Lights” is on it for the 88th week and is now the longest-charting song in the history of the Hot 100. The song was released on November 29, 2019, and despite all the time that has passed between then and now, it’s still high up on the charts, at No. 18 this week.

Additionally, aside from the new feat, “Blinding Lights” also holds the record for most weeks spent in the top 5, top 10, top 20, and top 40 of the chart.

It was a good week on the chart for The Weeknd beyond that as well: His latest single, “Take My Breath,” makes its debut on the chart at No. 6, making it his 13th top-10 song on the chart.

Meanwhile, The Weeknd is gearing up for a new album, of which “Take My Breath” is the first look. He recently said of the album, “The music hit the studio like a Mack truck. The new project is packed with party records. Like real-deal, illuminated-white-tiles-on-the-floor party records. Quincy Jones meets Giorgio Moroder meets the best-night-of-your-f*cking-life party records.”

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Pop’s Locker Room Speech After Winning The Gold: ‘How The F*ck Do You Like Us Now?’

The USA men’s basketball team didn’t have the smoothest run to a gold medal at the Tokyo Olympics, with two losses to start their exhibition run, two replacement players, three players who missed all of camp during the Finals, and a loss in their opening game against France.

Despite those hiccups, they eventually found their stride and steadily got better as the Olympics wore on, ultimately avenging their loss to France in the gold medal game. Afterwards, no one had forgotten the questions and comments about whether they were capable of winning the gold, and players and coaches all reveled in the opportunity to prove them wrong. That included Gregg Popovich, who offered an emotional speech in the locker room after winning the gold, telling his team that he was appreciative of being a part of this group and appreciative of the way they battled through adversity.

At the end, he collected himself and had one message for everyone who had doubted they could do it: “How the f*ck do you like us now?”

You can see that the players loved it and you can also tell how much this meant to Pop, who was finally getting his chance to coach Team USA in an Olympics, only to hear for most of the run how this team was underachieving, not good enough, and not being put in the right positions to succeed by the staff. Winning the gold medal wasn’t just fulfilling a dream for Pop, but also validation of what he was trying to do with USA Basketball and you can see how much that mattered to him in sharing the moment with this team.