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‘Last Week Tonight’ Used The Emmys To Reignite The Show’s Obsession With Adam Driver

HBO

For the sixth year in a row, Last Week Tonight won Outstanding Variety Talk Series at the Emmys. The HBO program also won Outstanding Writing for a Variety Series… also for the sixth year in a row. There was not much drama there, but a Last Week Tonight writer used the opportunity to reignite the show’s long-running obsession with Adam Driver.

“We would like to dedicate this award to Adam Driver. He knows what he did, and we know what we’d like him to do.” The imagination runs wild.

Oliver has referred to the Star Wars actor as a “f*ckable redwood” while begging the “brooding mountain,” “pensive bison,” “nasty shed,” and “irredeemable steer” to “step on my throat.” Driver even appeared on Last Week Tonight to confront the host’s thirsty comments. “Do you realize over this past year what you’ve asked me to do to you?” Driver said. “Collapse on your chest. Tie your fingers in a square knot. Step on your throat. Shatter your knees. Pull your heart out through your ear. What’s wrong with you? You realize we’re strangers, right? I don’t know you. And now, random people on the internet stan us, claiming that you thirsting over me is a mood.”

Speaking of people on the internet stanning them: