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Stephen Colbert Is Really Looking Forward To The Inevitable Trump-Inspired ‘American Crime Story: Mushroom Dong’

The late night talk show world is back in the age of President Trump, as a titillating new book by former White House press secretary Stephanie Grisham, a.k.a. the White House press secretary who never held a single press conference, is dishing some hilarious details on what really went down when Trump was in charge. While much is being made of the bombshell that Trump underwent a secret colonoscopy—without anesthesia!!—as he didn’t want to be the “butt” of every late night talk show’s jokes (you can hear what Jimmy Kimmel had to say about that here), Stephen Colbert wanted to “travel a few inches down the old taint highway to the president’s junk.”

Pulling another gem from Grisham’s book, The Late Show host shared the president’s bizarre—and terrifying—reaction to Stormy Daniels’ declaration that Trump’s penis had an “unusual” shape with “a huge mushroom head.”

“After Stormy Daniels spilled the beans on his frank, the president called Grisham ‘from Air Force One to assure her that his penis was not small or toadstool-shaped,’” Colbert explained, adding that, “It’s all going to be in next season’s American Crime Story: Mushroom Dong.” In Colbert’s mind, “Sarah Paulson plays the mushroom dong and she just transforms. Unbelievable! Every day, seven hours in the chair for makeup.”

You can watch the full clip above, beginning around the 6:50 mark.

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SZA Sings In Spanish For Kali Uchis’ Sultry ‘Fue Mejor’ Remix Video

Kali Uchis may have released her album Sin Miedo (Del Amor Y Otros Demonios) in 2020, but it’s gotten a lot of recent attention thanks to TikTok. The album’s tracks “Fue Mejor” and “Telepatía” went viral on the platform, the latter of which has been used in over 1.7 million videos. Capitalizing on the album’s newfound attention, Uchis prepped a remixed version of the LP which includes a song with SZA.

After previously teasing a snippet of their collaboration, Uchis and SZA officially dropped a remix to “Fue Mejor” on Wednesday. The instrumentals stay the same on the new version of the song, but PartyNextDoor’s verse is swapped out for SZA’s smooth addition. The singer delivers the majority of her lyrics in Spanish, a first for the TDE singer.

Along with releasing the official collaboration as a single, the duo shared a sultry single to celebrate the new track. The visual opens with Uchis strutting her stuff in a parking garage and sees both singers showing off their best dance moves atop moving cars, delivering sweltering choreography while speeding down the highway.

Watch Uchis and SZA’s “Fue Mejor” video above.

Sin Miedo (Del Amor Y Otros Demonios) Deluxe is out 9/29 via EMI/Interscope. Pre-order it here.

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Ex-NFL Football Player — And Former ‘Bachelor’ —  Jesse Palmer Will Host Season 26 Of ‘The Bachelor’

After the very ugly and public divorce between The Bachelor franchise and longtime host Chris Harrison, who not-so-judiciously decided to defend a contestant’s very racist past, the still unbelievably popular reality series has found its new host by digging into its pile of Bachelors past. As The Wrap reports, ABC has tapped Jesse Palmer, a former NFL player who logged a few years with the New York Giants and now spends time analyzing college football for ESPN and other sports outlets, to host the show’s upcoming 26th season.

Palmer also just so happens to have a bit of history with final roses, hometown dates, and fantasy suites, having served as The Bachelor way back in 2004, during the show’s fifth season.

ABC announced the news on Tuesday, but Bachelor Nation’s response to the news seemed mixed:

Palmer—who famously called the wrong woman’s name during his first rose ceremony as The Bachelor—didn’t find love on television, but he’s looking forward to being part of someone else’s love story. “For more than 20 years, The Bachelor has brought the world dozens of unforgettable love stories, including at one time, my own,” Palmer said in a statement. “Falling in love is one of life’s greatest gifts, and I am humbled by the opportunity to return to the show as host this season to offer the newest Bachelor advice gained from firsthand experience and I am grateful to play a small part in his journey.”

(Via The Wrap)

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Bill Cosby Believes That R. Kelly Was ‘Railroaded’ After Being Found Guilty Of Sex Trafficking

For some reason, TMZ thought it’d be a grand idea to find out what Bill Cosby thought of the recently concluded R. Kelly trial. The disgraced R&B singer was found guilty this week of an extensive list of crimes including racketeering and sex trafficking. The equally disgraced comedian, whose own 2019 conviction for sexual assault was recently overturned by the Pennsylvania Supreme Court on a technicality, gave a comment through his spokesperson Andrew Wyatt.

Asked by one of TMZ’s seemingly omnipresent flock of cameramen what Cosby thought of the result of Kelly’s trial, Wyatt said, “We talked about it today and the first thing he said, he was like, ‘Look, the guy was railroaded.’”

Of course, in both cases, massive amounts of evidence were given of the two stars’ deeds. In Cosby’s case, dozens of women came forward to give testimony that he had a pattern of drugging women to have sex with them — something Cosby himself admitted to doing in 2005. Cosby’s recent conviction was overturned thanks to a “non-prosecution agreement” made by prosecutor Bruce Castor. When new witnesses came forward, another prosecutor pushed for a second trial before the statute of limitations on the crimes expired.

Likewise, Kelly previously dodged justice when the defendant in his 2008 rape case refused to testify — but that opened the door for the new case, in which Kelly was accused of running a criminal empire that allegedly intimidated and bribed witnesses, paid to have documents faked so he could illegally marry a teenaged Aaliyah, and coerced a number of girls and women into having sex with Kelly and members of his entourage.

Naturally, plenty of observers on Twitter are only too aware of the details of both cases and had plenty to say about it. See responses to Cosby’s thoughts below.

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‘Jeopardy!’ Host Mayim Bialik Is As Surprised As Everyone Else At How The Hosting Fiasco Took Center Stage

Former Blossom and Big Bang Theory star Mayim Bialik has made it clear that she’s gunning for the Jeopardy! hosting gig, permanently, while she shares hosting duties with Ken Jennings following Mike Richards’ short-lived hosting debacle. She even recently told Glamour, “There’s no other job I would rather have… I absolutely have never had a better job.” So, she’s definitely all-up in this Jeopardy! business after initially accepting an offer to host primetime events for the franchise.

When Mayim appeared on The Late Late Show With James Corden, the host congratulated her on the new job around the 6:00 minute mark above. And when Corden broached the subject of how much attention the ongoing hosting ordeal has received, Mayim seemed surprised. “I was the headline on CNN three days in a row. Who knew people were so passionate about who hosts Jeopardy?” Well, every Alex Trebek fan could have seen the level of interest coming, but as far as Mayim feels about the hosting controversy, she feels like the host shouldn’t attract too much attention to themselves. Here’s what she offered:

“I mean, I’m just trying to read the clues. You know, just let me read the clues. The thing about Jeopardy!… we spend our whole lives wanting to be seen, you know, and this job is like, people should think the least about me as possible. Meaning, it’s my job to be the host, just like read the clues.”

That could be read as very subtle commentary (and I’m totally reading into this) as hoping that the show will soon no longer be overshadowed by the Richards fallout. Whatever the case, Mayim handled the subject diplomatically, unlike how she (earlier in the segment) discussed how she upset Neil Patrick Harris as a teenager, which led to them not speaking for a number of years.

The former friends (which have since made up) had a falling out when Bialik attended Rent and declined to participate in the standing ovation. She told her boyfriend, “I don’t want to stand for this,” and when she looked up, Neil was staring at her. Backstage, he confronted her after reading her lips: “Why did you say you weren’t going to stand up?” That’s awkward, but not nearly as awkward as the Mike Richards hosting debacle.

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Japanese Breakfast Shares An In-Studio Performance Video Of Her ‘Sable’ Highlight ‘Better The Mask’

It’s been a busy year for Michelle Zauner, as she’s dropped two Japanese Breakfast album: Jubilee and her soundtrack for the video game Sable, the latter of which just came out a few days ago. Now she’s offered a different spin on Sable highlight “Better The Mask” by sharing an in-studio performance video of it, featuring her on piano accompanied by some strings.

Zauner says of the track, “I wrote ‘Better the Mask’ during lockdown. To pass the time, I found myself turning to the piano, practicing intently for the first time in years, and putting together what would become my favorite song I’ve ever written. ‘Better The Mask’ also features the first string arrangement I devised solely on my own.”

She previously told Uproxx about how she approached the soundtrack, saying, “It’s a coming-of-age story, so my influences were super different for it. I was thinking a lot about Alan Menken and how he crafts this universal feeling and a song that everyone can relate to. That was actually a really lovely experience for me and took me to a very different place in my songwriting, because I feel like so much of what I do for Japanese Breakfast is rooted in specific detail. I was doing these broad strokes of human feeling, like, what’s it like to feel uncertain about the future? Or coming of age, or discovering what path do you want to pursue? Instead of filling it with all these kind of little details, you have to sort of do these broad strokes but also make it compelling. So that was really fun for me.”

Watch Zauner perform “Better The Mask” above.

Sable is out now via Sony Music Masterworks. Get it here.

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Rod Wave And Lil Durk Count Their Blessings In The Mournful ‘Already Won’ Video

Coming off the release of the deluxe edition of his first No. 1 album Soulfly, Rod Wave shares a reflective video for its new single “Already Won” with Lil Durk. Opening with a short monologue about his childhood dream to be the “biggest dope boy in the world” and that dream’s dissolution as he took stock of the losses accumulated in its pursuit, the video juxtaposes mournful shots of a family standing around a casket and a son visiting his father in prison with nostalgic ones of a young Rod lying in bed dreaming about the future.

The Florida crooner certainly did take a different path — one that’s paid off in a big way since releasing his well-received debut album Ghetto Gospel in 2019. Thanks to TikTok, the album’s single “Heart On Ice” climbed to No. 25 on the Hot 100, setting the stage for his meteoric rise. After Ghetto Gospel reached No. 10 on the Billboard 200, Rod’s second album, Pray 4 Love, debuted even higher, peaking at No. 2 in 2020. Then, this year, Rod acquired his first album chart No. 1 with the release of Soulfly, buoyed by fan-favorite singles “Street Runner,” “Tombstone,” and “Richer” featuring Polo G. Now, Rod’s on his tour promoting the album which is scheduled to finish on October 23 in Seattle.

Watch Rod Wave’s “Already Won” video featuring Lil Durk above.

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Michael Strahan Finds It ‘Amazing’ How Athletes Are Able To Tell Their Own Stories

Michael Strahan is always busy.

His day when Uproxx caught up with him on a Tuesday in late September already included appearing on Good Morning America. He’s headed home for a quick break before heading back out to do an interview with ex-teammate Eli Manning. Aside from GMA, he is a part of Fox’s NFL coverage and the host of The $100,000 Pyramid, in addition to various business projects.

Strahan’s latest project is the new season of More Than Athlete on ESPN+, which began in early September and wraps on Sept. 30. We spoke to him about the project, how he manages to keep everything in order while he’s seemingly busy all hours of the day, and more.

Considering how much you doing right now and the different projects you’re managing, how do you manage that and keep your head on straight?

It’s a team effort, to be honest. I have a great team that helps me figure out if I can handle more and when I can’t. And really, sometimes it’s taking me out of things — maybe they’ll remind me that I don’t have time now or say, “Hey, you could take this now and really regret it later.” So listening to them and having them around really helps.

With the new ESPN+ series, your season of More Than An Athlete, how did it come about? Did you pitch them or did they come to you?

The guys at SpringHill approached us about it. Obviously, love SpringHill and love the work they do. We have a great relationship with LeBron and Maverick [Carter], so the second we reached out, we definitely wanted to be a part of it. And being that LeBron was the focus of season and we all know the career and everything that he’s done, I was honored that they reached out and asked me to be the focus of season two.

For you, what are some of the highlights of making your season? Where there things you got to revisit or perhaps look at in a different way?

I think the highlights were just being able to revisit some of the things that I had not exactly forgotten about, but haven’t really thought about in a long time. To see some of the people that have been so instrumental in my life — like my college coaches and family members and people like that — to see them again and hear their words was really cool.

And to see my friends from sports. Like Jay Glazer and Dr. Ian Smith, who I’ve known from the beginning. To sit with them and recount and talk through some of the things we’ve all gone through together and my journey and how big of a part of it they were. All of them revisiting was special, because I do forget sometimes that I was an athlete. I’ll be honest with you: It feels like it was so long ago and seems like I’m such on different path and career that I look and I go, “Oh, I actually did do that.” It was great to go, “Wow, not only did I actually do that, I was actually pretty good at it.” [laughs] So it was cool to catch-up and realize that.

Do you find that, when you’re out and about — and maybe this happens less now with COVID and everything — do people recognize you more as the guy from GMA or the host of a game show vs. being a Super Bowl champion?

Ab-so-freaking-lutely. It’s no comparison. People recognize me more now from everything except for football. And football season rolls out and because I’m on Fox, I get some of that. But for the most part, the majority of it is completely from GMA, from $100,000 Pyramid or something like that. And it’s funny, because I guess people really pay attention to eyes. Because I wear my mask and I think I’m going to get by with just my mask and people are like, “Hey, Michael!” And I’m like, “How the hell do you know it’s me? I’ve got a mask and a hood on.” But people are very perceptive. And I take it as a compliment because it shows that my career has completely evolved and made the transition to where sports is not even in the forefront of someone’s mind when they see me. It’s everything I’ve done after that, and that’s the biggest compliment I could ask for.

Looking back a little bit, what were some of the things that made this transition possible and made it a successful one? Because it’s one that a lot of guys have tried to make, but it doesn’t work for everyone.

I think for me, it’s just growing up the way I grew up where I didn’t play football growing up, really. So it wasn’t like I grew up myself and said, “I’m a football player.” I fell into football. I made the most of it while I was there. I played as hard as I could for as long as I could and I took it as such as privilege to play the game and I was constantly learning. I never felt like I knew everything because it was such a new experience throughout my 15 year career.

At some point, I had to learn … I don’t want to say fearless, but I had to learn to how not be afraid to look foolish by trying something that would make people go, “Why is that football player trying to host anything outside of a football show?” or “Why is that football player talking about anything that has to do with pop culture?” or “Why is that football player that has to talk about anything that to do with the news?” And I had to get out of my own head and think of myself as not just a football player, but as a person who, like all of us, has more than one thing I can do. Most of us just don’t try to take advantage of the next opportunity because we are so scared of failing at it. And I’ve had to learn to get over that fear of failure and that’s really helped me.

With all of the interviews you’ve done — Barack Obama, people involved with various political issues — what is your preparation process like? Is it writing down questions before or is it just trying to vibe and connect with the person you’re talking to?

I think it’s a combination of both. You have to be prepared. There’s a lot of reading involved. You can know all the questions themselves and that’s great. But it’s all about the delivery. It’s about paying attention and listening and being present. So you may have a million questions on your paper, but maybe they go in a different direction. But for me, it’s about knowing what the interview is, going in with an intention, and trying to get something new out of them that they haven’t told everyone and their brother. And it’s about your personality and what you bring to it. And I’m just going to all of these things just trying to be myself, which a lot of times if the hardest thing to do for people, especially in front of a camera. But for me, it seems to work out.

How does that compare to hosting Pyramid?

It’s fun. The amazing thing about Pyramid is that we’ll shoot the whole season in a week. But we don’t shoot them in the order they air because it depends on how they want to put the show together and which one they feel is going to do well and which will matchup together. So when people watch the show, they don’t know if I’ve been filming show 20 or the first show we’ve filmed. So the challenge for me there with Pyramid — which I love — is that challenge of seeing if I can maintain that energy. So when the public watches the show, they don’t go, “Oh, that must have been later in the week.” I want to give the same energy to the fans at home, I want to give the same energy to the contestants that are there to win money too because it’s exciting for them. I love that challenge. It’s not grueling, it goes by so fast that you ask for more. And I love that the fans have really clamped on, it’s been our most successful season yet.

The energy and approach is different, too, because from watching Dick Clark do it and learning, the show is the star. For me, I’m just the moderator in the middle of a fun game. And I love that the show is the star and I don’t have to do anything and I just have to let the contestants do their thing and the fun will come naturally.

Is there another athlete you think would make a good game show host?

I didn’t know what to expect because I hadn’t seem him do anything like this, but Dwyane Wade with The Cube was better than I expected. Especially his first time because it’s really scary when you have to carry something and a lot of the focus is on you. But I think Dwyane did a great job.

I think there’s so many athletes with so much talent to do what I do or more what than I what I do. But I love it when guys are more focused on their present career. That’s primarily what you do — don’t mess up with your primary for anything secondary. And these guys seem to understand that nowadays.

To circle back to the ESPN+ series, we seem to be in an age with sports media where retired athletes and guys like LeBron that are still active are more aggressively telling their own stories and presenting it to the public. What do you make of the different ways athletes can tell their own stories now vs. even when you were playing?

Oh man. The only way to get your story out when I was playing was to get on TV or go yell from the rooftop where no one could hear you. It was a totally different world.

I will say that I think it’s amazing to have these platforms where you can tell your story and you can control the narrative on opinions on what’s going on with your life and what’s going on with your sport or your team. But I also think it’s dangerous, too, because we’ve seen a lot of situations where that’s happened and it hasn’t necessarily been received in the most positive way. It’s a big responsibility to have, especially when you control your own social and all of that. That comes with responsibility and it comes with pressure. So I do hope guys continue to do it the right way. But I do love the way guys are using new avenues to tell their stories and advocate for the social causes they believe in.

Do you think that, if you were playing in the Twitter era, you’d be one of those guys that’s aware of every tweet from a beat reporter or consuming a take from Stephen A. and just internalizing all of that?

For me now, it’s just there. When I was younger, I cared about what was written and what was said. But when I was older, like later in my career after year 10, the less I cared until it get to the point at the end that I didn’t care at all because I said, “I am not going to let the opinion of someone affect me emotionally and take me out of my game,” especially because it’s coming from someone who, the last time they did something I did was when they were trick or treating, because they’ve never done it at this level. That was my way of saying, “Your opinion doesn’t matter because you don’t understand this thing even though you write or talk about it.” It’s a completely different thing when you’re immersed on the inside of it. It was liberating to not care.

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Blackstarkids’ ‘ACAB’ Video Is Both An Expression Of Anger And A Call For Reform

Blackstarkids are one of the most exciting new bands doing it at the moment; even Beabadoobee thinks so. Off the strength of their 2020 release, Whatever Man, the rising indie star tapped them to open for her on tour, and even though that project is barely a year old, they’re already gearing up for a follow up. Puppies Forever is their official debut album with Dirty Hit, and is slated for release this fall.

They’ve already shared a few new singles from the album, “Juno” and “Fight Club,” and last week they shared the new single “ACAB” which echoes the protest cry “All Cops Are Bastards.” It’s pretty explanatory, frankly. Now, they’ve dropped the video for the track, which traces a throughline from the training of cops on the basics of how to arrest, to an arrest of one of the band members, while another group starts filming.

For most of the video the band sing from behind bars already, but occasionally they’re shown breaking into the police academy room and wreaking havoc. But with a twist ending that’s pretty optimistic, the video is both an expression of anger and a strong call for reform.

Check out the video above.

Puppies Forever is out 10/15 via Dirty Hit. Pre-order it here.

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J. Cole Is Forced To Postpone Some Of His ‘Off-Season’ Tour Dates Due To Production Delays

J. Cole is finally kicking off his long-awaited The Off-Season tour and he’s already experiencing a few hiccups. The rapper just performed his third show of the year in Greensboro, North Carolina. But after running into several road blocks, Cole made the decision to postpone some of his upcoming concerts.

The rapper shared a video to Instagram to apologize to his fans and explain the reason for the delay. Cole announced he would be postponing the tour’s Philadelphia and Detroit dates because the live show production is so intricate that his crew simply can’t get to the venues in enough time:

“I’m backstage at the Greensboro show. I’ve been here for hours trying to get my voice right. This is the Off-Season tour. I have an announcement for specifically Philly and Detroit. […] When we came out on the Off-Season tour, we wanted to do this sh*t big. I spent days programming the lights, hours and hours the programming the lights. While the show is amazing, we didn’t account for the fact that it takes way longer to load this sh*t into the house, so we’re experiencing delays in opening the doors and getting people in.”

Cole explained that it’s a nine-hour drive from North Carolina to Philadelphia, and that’s not enough time to “get the show up in time.” He added: “I apologize for the inconvenience. I know people done hired babysitters, some people drive in from out of town, I hate this sh*t. Even the fact that people waiting outside right now in Greensboro. That sh*t is A.) embarrassing and B.) I think about people’s time. This is the first time this ever happened to us. So I apologize for this sh*t.”

The Off-Season is out now via Dreamville. Get it here.