Month: September 2021

The Oklahoma City Thunder started the 2020-21 season with a 10-12 record. Even with every caveat about outperforming their statistical baseline, it was an impressive start to the Mark Daigneault era, and the Thunder were pretty feisty. Over the next 50 games, though, the Thunder posted a 12-38 record that was more fitting when considering their roster makeup and obvious priorities.

Along the way, Shai Gilgeous-Alexander experienced a breakout and the Thunder won seven more games than their point differential (-10.6 points per 100 possessions) would project. As the 2021-22 campaign nears, things aren’t that much different in Oklahoma City, but they have a deep bench of intriguing youngsters and they should be, at the very least, an entertaining watch.

Roster:

Darius Bazley
Charlie Brown
Gabriel Deck
Luguentz Dort
Derrick Favors
Josh Giddey
Shai Gilgeous-Alexander
Ty Jerome
Vit Krejci
Theo Maledon
Tre Mann
Mike Muscala
Aleksej Pokusevski
Jeremiah Robinson-Earl
Isaiah Roby
Paul Watson
Aaron Wiggins
Kenrich Williams

Projected Vegas Win Total: 23.5 wins

Biggest Addition: Josh Giddey

Derrick Favors is probably the best present-day player added by the Thunder in an offseason that saw considerable churn in Oklahoma City. However, Favors isn’t likely to be a part of the long-term future, and the Thunder invested a lottery pick in Giddey. It might not be great as a rookie for the teenager with shooting problems, but OKC’s claim to fame is its chest of draft picks and Giddey presumably slots behind only Shai Gilgeous-Alexander on the team’s asset rankings.

Biggest Loss: Al Horford/Kemba Walker

Horford was traded for Walker, who was then flipped to New York. Oklahoma City does have Favors to act as a veteran leader of sorts, but the Thunder aren’t exactly overflowing with established talent at the moment. That isn’t the biggest deal for their short-term goals, but they didn’t lose much else.

Biggest Question: What does OKC have to flank Shai Gilgeous-Alexander?

Even a pessimist would admit that Gilgeous-Alexander is a budding standout, and he was excellent last season at a young age. The questions begin after him, where the Thunder could really use a breakout from another youthful player or two. Perhaps it is Giddey. Perhaps it is Dort or Pokusevski. But they need something to go along with Gilgeous-Alexander and future picks.

What Makes This Season A Success

This is a two-pronged answer, much as it would be for many rebuilding teams. Oklahoma City should be looking for development of young pieces, particularly with Gilgeous-Alexander, Dort, Pokusevski, Giddey, Bazley, Maledon, Robinson-Earl, and Mann. That is certainly a priority, and real growth from those young pieces would move the needle. From there, the Thunder probably need another high-lottery pick. They got unlucky last year to land at No. 6 overall, and losing a bunch of games is likely the best outcome.

What Makes This Season A Failure

At present, Gilgeous-Alexander is the only young piece that is remotely proven. If it stays that way a year from now, that would be suboptimal for the Thunder in the simplest terms. On top of that focus, Oklahoma City likely needs to avoid winning too many games and outperforming their point differential in a way that would negatively influence their position at the top of the 2022 NBA Draft Lottery.

Rifle Republican Rep. Lauren Boebert (R-CO) loves Twitter, but Twitter does not love her. Her absurd “Tylenol” tweet continues to make waves, not long after her hysterical tweet about the U.S.-Mexico border situation. She’s full of backfired toilet jokes, too, and now, Boebert is back with more tweets on subjects that she doesn’t really understand. So, people are letting her have it after she came for top U.S. defense generals.

“Milley and Austin should be testifying in military court,” Boebert wrote on Twitter. “[N]ot at a Senate hearing.”

Sadly, Boebert has proven that she (as a non-high-school graduate who passed the passed the GED shortly before being elected to the House) doesn’t know much about U.S. government branches or how they work (checks and balances and so on). She made this declaration during the Senate Armed Services Committee’s hearing on the Afghanistan withdrawal. While assessing the situation (and as CBS reports), Joint Chiefs of Staff Chairman General Mark Milley described the rushed withdrawal as “logistical success, but a strategic failure,” although he claimed that U.S. troops had evacuated over 124,000 out of Afghanistan within weeks. Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin followed up by saying, “Was it perfect? Of course not.”

Milley added that he saw “no intel assessment that says the government’s going to collapse and the military is going to collapse in 11 days,” and he contradicted the Biden administration by saying that the military recommended that he leave a few thousand U.S. troops in the country. Well, Boebert isn’t listening to any nuance. She believes that Milley and Austin deserve a military trial, straight away, rather than the legislative branch doing its thing to evaluate what the executive branch is doing. And in the face of Boebert’s suggestion, people have some suggestions (including remarks about her actions surrounding the MAGA insurrection) for her, too.

She’ll be back for more, and people will be watching.

(Via CBS News)

The top spot on the Netflix top 10 has lately been dominated by Squid Game, a Korean series about cash-strapped contestants competing in a mysterious competition of children’s games to win the grand prize of 45.6 billion Korean won (or $38.5 million in U.S. dollars). The losers are killed. Think: Battle Royale or The Hunger Games, but with red light, green light. Squid Game has an intoxicating premise, but I don’t think anyone expected it to be the worldwide — and TikTok — sensation that it’s become.

It’s a hit all over the world:

The addictive, violent survival drama, which premiered September 17 on Netflix, has transcended cultures and language barriers to reach No. 1 in 90 countries in 10 days — from Qatar and Oman to Ecuador and Bolivia… Fueled by word of mouth, Squid Game entered the U.S. Top 10 list on September 19 at No. 8. It climbed to No. 2 the next day, and hit No. 1 on September 21 — the first Korean original series ever to do so — where it has stayed since, crossing the one-week mark [on Tuesday]. Its staying power in the top spot is comparable to such Netflix global hits as Bridgerton.

Speaking of Bridgerton, the Shonda Rhimes series is currently the most popular Netflix show of all-time (based on internal metrics), but Squid Game might soon overtake it. “Squid Game will definitely be our biggest non-English-language show in the world, for sure,” Netflix’s co-CEO Ted Sarandos said this week. “It’s only been out for nine days, and it’s a very good chance it’s going to be our biggest show ever.”

You can watch the trailer below:

(Via Deadline)

There are a lot of parallels between the careers of Bruce Springsteen and John Mellencamp, and now, the two legends have come together for their first-ever collaboration, a new song called “Wasted Days” that’s set to appear on an upcoming Mellencamp album.

On the track, Mellencamp and Springsteen contemplate mortality and the nature of life, with Mellencamp opening the song, “How many summers still remain / How many days are lost in vain / Who’s counting out these last dramatic years / How many minutes do we have here?”

In June, Springsteen said of working with Mellencamp, “I worked on three songs on John’s album and I spent some time in Indiana with him. I love John a lot. He’s a great songwriter and I have become very close [with him] and had a lot of fun with him. I sang a little bit on his record.” The previous month, Mellencamp confirmed the collaboration and revealed the song had just recently been completed: “Bruce is singing on the new record and is playing guitar. I finished the record a week ago today.” This all came after the pair was spotted together at a Bloomington, Indiana restaurant in April.

While this is the duo’s first time together on a studio recording, they previously performed together at the New York City’s Beacon Theater in 2019.

Listen to “Wasted Days” above.

The words “boogie nights” are never said in Boogie Nights. Same with “there will be blood” in There Will Be Blood and “phantom thread” in Phantom Thread. Paul Thomas Anderson is not one for titular lines, but I hope he makes an exception for Licorice Pizza. It’s the best way to ensure two standing ovations: one when the film is over (Adam Driver better be in the audience, and he better be smoking a cigarette), and another when halfway through the film, Bradley Cooper’s character looks down at his dinner and says, “This sure is a good slice of licorice pizza.” The theater crowd goes wild.

Or at least I would, because as a fan of the Favorite Movie Lines Twitter account, I turn into the Leo pointing meme every time someone says the title of the movie in the movie. “Looking back, that Addams family really did have values.”

The words “licorice pizza” will likely be said in Licorice Pizza, PTA’s nostalgic new movie starring Cooper, Alana Haim, Cooper Hoffman (Philip Seymour Hoffman’s son), Sean Penn, Tom Waits, Benny Safdie, and Maya Rudolph. It’s the name of a Southern California record store chain from the 1970s, when Anderson grew up and his film is set. “The store tried to lure local music fans with commercials aired during American Bandstand and Soul Train. They offered a money-back guarantee on records and heavily promoted local concerts, drawing fans in to buy the music before or after a big concert,” according to Los Angeles Magazine. Blondie’s Debbie Harry was a fan.

As for the origin of the name:

It comes from a throwaway joke on the album Bud & Travis… In Concert recorded live at the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium in 1960. The comedy/folk duo are on a self-deprecating roll about how unsuccessful their record was, remarking that it had “sesame seeds on the other side” and could be played on a Waring blender. Just before going into their version of La Bamba, they mention that the platter was being sold at feed stores as a “licorice pizza.”

Here’s a taste of Bud and Travis:

Speaking of taste: following the release of the Licorice Pizza trailer, I wanted to know what licorice pizza tasted like and report my findings to the hungry boys out there. Because it sounds… I believe “terrible” is the word. I pride myself on being open-minded, but not when it comes to pizza. There’s a reason pepperoni is the non-cheese default option: it works. Chicken and meatballs are great, too. But pineapple? Anchovies? Mushrooms? Get out of here. Whoever put “Dill Pickle Hamburger Pizza” number one on this list of 25 Deliciously Weird Pizzas You Should Definitely Try doesn’t deserve pizza — or even worse, they can only order pizza from Papa John’s. But because PTA is one of my favorite directors, and pizza is one of my favorite foods, and Alana is one of my favorite Haim sisters, I gave pizza with licorice a shot. I learned two things:

1. Red-colored Twizzlers aren’t technically licorice. The candy is “usually fruit-flavored by artificial or natural means, and do not contain licorice flavoring,” Kelila Jaffe, Food Program Coordinator for the Department of Nutrition, Food Studies, and Public Health at NYU, told the Huffington Post. The word “licorice” does not appear on the brand’s packaging, with the exception of black Twizzlers which do, in fact, count as licorice. I ate the black Twizzlers.

2. Licorice pizza is pretty good. OK, maybe that’s overstating it, but the licorice (which I’m generally not a fan of) doesn’t take too much away from the superior pizza. For this culinary experiment, I went to three locations where I live in Austin, Texas: Home Slice (cheese), Giovanni’s Pizza Stand (pepperoni and basil) and my favorite local pizza joint, Domino’s (cheese). I happily finished all three, and in the case of the pepperoni pizza, I found the sweetness to be a nice compliment to the greasy cups.

It may surprise you that Robert Elswit did not do the cinematography for these photos.

Anyway, the New York-style slices worked better than the Domino’s pie because they were easier to fold; it trapped the licorice like a pig in a blanket. Honestly, I couldn’t even taste the candy after the first bite. Chewing something rubber-y while eating pizza was slightly unpleasant, but Twizzlers are soft enough that it wasn’t a huge deal. Would I eat licorice pizza again, though? No, of course not. I respect pizza too much to do that.

But licorice pizza wasn’t the nightmare that I was expecting it to be. The real nightmare is having to wait until November 26 to see Licorice Pizza (the wide release isn’t until December 25). Also: candy corn pizza. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

CL is one of the most OG artists in the K-Pop sphere, racking up attention and accolades as a global force long before BTS hit the scene. Born Lee Chae-rin, the South Korean rapper and pop star is finally back and gearing up to release her debut studio album, Alpha. After a lengthy hiatus, she returned earlier this year, first with a touching recollection of her late mother for the sweet tribute “Wish You Were Here,” and then with the ferocious new single “Spicy.”

That single introduced her album, Alpha, which was originally slated for release last but was pushed to this year, and it’s a return to form her CL recalling her past work like “Hello Bitches” and “The Baddest Female.” Tonight, she’s shared another new cut off Alpha, which falls somewhere between sweet and spicy. “Lover Like Me” has the braggadocio of “Spicy” but it’s undercut with some of the softness of her pop sound. That softness doesn’t stop her from going into full-on rap mode for a Nicki-level verse toward the end of the track, though. Check out the new song above and look for more updates on the quickly-approaching Alpha — it’s shaping up to be one of the year’s most important releases.

Disney fans are insane (don’t check the headline, you’re reading the right article). They’ll shell out up to a grand to visit Disneyland whenever they want, they’ll embrace Kingdom Hearts at face value, they’ll drop $30 to stream a live-action remake of Mulan or watch a backstory movie about Cruella De Ville that literally no one asked for, they’ll spend close to $50 just to buy a new set of mouse ears to wear on their heads every time they visit Disneyland, and they’ll gather up in gangs with other Disney adults around the world, wear matching jackets, and cruise Main Street like they’re the fucking T-Birds.

Make fun of them all you want — clearly we’re keen to help. But know this: if it weren’t for fanatic Disney heads eager to buy anything the company throws at them, we wouldn’t have Doritos.

I know, it sounds ridiculous, but according to Business Insider, The OC Weekly, and even Disneyland themselves, Doritos were invented at Fronteirland’s Casa de Fritos in the ‘60s after an Alex Foods salesman (the company that supplied Casa de Fritos with tortillas) noticed the restaurant throwing out stale unused tortillas at the end of the day. “Why not cut them up into triangles, deep fry them, and season them like Zapotec totopos?” the salesman suggested to the chef. And just like that — Doritos were born.

Predictably, because Doritos are delicious and Disney fans will eat anything the parks gives them, they were a hit even stale tortillas, the Frito Lay company scooped them up (they should’ve gone to Mexican-owned Alex Foods but that’s another conversation) and the rest is hist— wait a second. Is Disneyland really trying to take credit for making f*cking seasoned tortilla chips? I bet they believe Marty McFly invented rock-n-roll, too. It’s a cute story, but we find it highly dubious that not a single Mexican chef thought, “Hey, maybe I should season these fried tortillas with some paprika and a touch of cumin.” Because you know Mexicans, we are notorious for hating flavor.

First to market does not mean “invented,” but okay Disney, we’ll let you have this one. What don’t you own at this point?

Origin story aside, and rant over, we’re here because we love Doritos. But even if you’re a hardcore Dorito head there is a high chance you’re only familiar with a handful of flavors. Nacho Cheese and Cool Ranch are without a doubt the most popular flavors, but what about all the others? Your Salsa Verdes, your Taco Flavored Originals, whatever the heck Doritos 3D are — do they taste good?

We set out on a quest to rank every single Doritos flavor currently available on the Doritos website. This way the next time you’re at the market with room for just one bag of chips in the budget, you’ll make the right decision with no regrets. Let’s dive in!

14. Doritos Tangy Pickle

After trying every Doritos flavor currently on the market, I’ve never found a flavor to be offensive. Until I tried Tangy Pickle. I just flat out don’t like this flavor, it smells so sour that it actually makes me wince when I reach into the bag. It tastes, unsurprisingly like pickle juice. Definitely the most intense Dorito on the market.

The Bottom Line

If you like pickles, you’re going to love this.

13. Doritos Tapatio

Doritos has a lot of spicy options: Flamin Hot, Spicy Sweet Chili, Flamin’ Limon, Dinamita, Flamas, Spicy Nacho, and now here we are at Tapatio. All of these flavors rely on red chili peppers for an extra kick of flavor, but the Tapatio is the least spicy of the bunch.

Tapatio Doritos features a pepper forward flavor with a lingering sour aftertaste and a vinegar hot sauce smell.

The Bottom Line

Smells like you dribbled Tapatio all over your Doritos, but doesn’t hit with the same pronounced kick.

12. Doritos 3D Crunch Chili Cheese Nacho

I’ve always wondered what 3D Doritos were ever since they first hit the scene and it turns out this is Doritos’ version of Bugles. They’re bite-sized, light and crispy but there is no way anyone was asking for these. The flavor here features the slightest hint of heat over Doritos’ famed Nacho Cheese flavor. They’re not quite as intense in flavor as a traditional Dorito and aren’t even really worth indulging your curiosity for this form factor.

The Bottom Line

Don’t give into the novelty, these are forgettable.

11. Doritos 3D Crunch Spicy Ranch

Doritos 3D Crunch Spicy Ranch is surprisingly not just a puffy version of Doritos’ Cool Ranch. A definite improvement over the 3D Chili Cheese Nacho, the Spicy Ranch looks and tastes like your typical mozzarella stick batter with gentle notes of spice. If you really want to try the 3D form factor, this is the flavor to do it with.

The Bottom Line

It’s less onion-heavy than Cool Ranch, with a subtle spicy aftertaste.

10. Doritos Flamin’ Hot Limon

As we mentioned before, there are a lot of redundant flavors in the Doritos Universe (we call it the DU for short). Flamin’ Hot Doritos are a Flamin’ Hot spicy version of Doritos Nacho Cheese, and Flamin’ Hot Limon is a lime-infused version of the Flamin’ Hot flavor, and aren’t cheesy at all. If that sounds confusing, it’s because it is, this isn’t the MCU we’re dealing with here, the DU is like the J.J. Abrams Star Wars movies, a mess of jumbled nostalgia and falls points of intrigue.

That’s all a really long way of saying Doritos Flamin’ Hot Limon isn’t good.

The Bottom Line

A blast of chemical lime flavor settles into back of the throat burning spice. Yes, you’re right to assume Flamin’ Hot Limon is a more flavorful version of Flamin’ Hot Doritos, but you’d be wrong to assume that means it’s better.

9. Doritos Spicy Nacho

If you love the Nacho Cheese Dorito but think it’s a bit tame, Spicy Nacho might be just what you’re looking for. It tastes, predictably, just like Doritos Nacho Cheese but with a little bit of heat. Not so much that it’s going to make you salivate and need a glass of water to wash it down, but spicy enough that it keeps that nostalgic Nacho Cheese flavor a little surprising and different.

The Bottom Line

Yes, it’s just Doritos Nacho Cheese with some spice. Not enough to qualify as Flamin’ Hot, but hot enough to taste.

8. Doritos Flamin’ Hot Nacho

Why is there a Flamin’ Hot Nacho and a Spicy Nacho? I can’t tell you, but they all do indeed taste different.

The Spicy Nacho is a subtly spicy rendition of Doritos famed Nacho Cheese Flavor, but the Flamin’ Hot version is anything but subtle. You get a lot more heat here, and it burns in the back of your throat. This chip is also considerably less cheesy, taking a backseat to that distinct Flamin’ Hot flavor that tastes like it’s about to burn a hole in your stomach.

Because it is.

The Bottom Line

Hotter than Spicy Nacho but not as cheesy.

7. Doritos Dinamita Chili Limon

This is Doritos’ response to Takis. Before I tried this I struggled to understand why we needed this flavor. You’d think we already had this one covered with Flamin’ Hot Limon but the form factor here makes all the difference. All of the flavors from the lime to the spice are more subtle here and because of the folds, you get more of that plain tortilla chip flavor.

The Bottom Line

Perfect for dipping, Doritos Dinamita is a more subtle take on the Flamin’ Hot Limon flavor.

6. Doritos Spicy Sweet Chili

I was hoping I was going to fall head over heels in love with this flavor, but it doesn’t quite hit the way I want it to. The letdown is that this flavor isn’t all that spicy, it’s plenty sweet, but sweet is the onlyt flavor here. The flavor hits you with a BBQ-esque burst of deep brown sugar complexity and settles into a sort of cheesy aftertaste. There is the tiniest amount of heat in the backend, but mostly in the way BBQ can sometimes have a kick to it.

The Bottom Line

It’s not Doritos version of Kettle Brand’s Korean BBQ Chip like you’d hope, it’s more like a BBQ chip with fewer spices.

5. Doritos Flamas

If Darth Maul could look like a chip, he’d look like Doritos Flamas. These chips look downright threatening and are colored a menacing red. Despite the fact that it looks exactly like five other Doritos flavors, this one is different. The flavor hits you with a subtle dose of lime that quickly turns into a pronounced and burning spice. This is hands down Doritos spiciest chip.

The Bottom Line

Redundant? Absolutely, but Flamas nails the perfect balance of lime and spice.

4. Doritos Taco Flavor

If you’re looking at Doritos’ Taco flavor thinking this is going to be some kind of bland throwback flavor, you couldn’t be more wrong, this stuff is intense. Taco flavor features a blend of garlic, onion, and paprika, creating a flavor that tastes like a dead ringer for Taco Bell’s ground meat seasoning.

It’s a bit strange for a chip to taste like meat, but Doritos has done it!

The Bottom Line

Grind this up into fine dust and bread your next fried chicken with it. Your mind will be blown.

3. Doritos Nacho Cheese

Nacho Cheese is Doritos’ flagship flavor. It’s the one that instantly comes to mind when someone says the word “Doritos,” and there is a reason for that: it’s damn good. If you’re part of the rare group that has never had a Nacho Cheese Dorito, imagine a Cheeto crossed with a corn tortilla chip. It’s cheesy and has an initial sharp cheddar intensity that settles into a neutral corn tortilla chip flavor.

The Bottom Line

Doritos most popular flavor. If you’ve never had Doritos, start here.

2. Doritos Cool Ranch

If Nacho Cheese is the face of Doritos, Cool Ranch is the brains. It’s Doritos connoisseur’s choice. Just as people-pleasing and easy to love as Nacho Cheese, but with a deeper complexity of flavor. This is the most visually appealing Dorito, with an eye-catching blend of herbs dusted on the surface of each chip.

Cool Ranch will greet you with an intense sour smell with strong notes of onion, garlic, and buttermilk.

The Bottom Line

If Nacho Cheese tastes a little juvenile and one-note to you, give Cool Ranch a try. Each chip packs an intense flavor reminiscent of sour cream and onion chips.

1. Doritos Salsa Verde

I get that everyone loves Doritos Nacho Cheese, but if I had to choose a favorite, it’s going to be the Salsa Verde, hands down. This flavor is strong and lingering, with notes of salt and spices that somehow mimic, in taste, the way a roasted green chili pepper smells.

On the back end, a pleasing sour flavor lingers that makes the whole experience mimic dipping a tortilla chip in green salsa, and at the end of the day, isn’t that what Doritos is trying to achieve? A chip that captures the complex and inviting flavors of Mexican food?

The Bottom Line

Powerfully flavor, Doritos Salsa Verde tastes as close to a tortilla chip dipped in fresh green salsa as any chip has ever gotten.

Collecting rare Scotch whisky is a life-long (and very expensive) endeavor. Whereas collecting rare and expensive bourbon unicorns can still be about actually drinking the stuff, buying the Scotch whiskies below is often more about trading commodities, making sound investments, and signaling your status. Still, since I get to dip my toes into that exclusive world every now and then, I thought I’d drop a few bottles that I’ve added to my personal collection as investment bottles and a few that I’d like to.

Eight out of the ten bottles below are pretty widely available and cost anywhere from $200 to $1,000. They’re unique, rare, old, and very collectible. I also added one bottle that inches towards $10,000 and a final bottle that costs as much as a luxury car. Just to be clear, I’ve not tried the last bottle on the list — just heard about it ceaselessly from my whisky-collecting pals (I have included tasting notes from the distiller).

It goes without saying but this list barely scratches the surface of the bazillion bottles of scotch worth collecting out there. This is an introduction and not meant to be comprehensive in any way. Click on the prices if you want to dive in to the whiskey collecting game.

Johnnie Walker Blue Label Year Of The Ox

ABV: 46%

Average Price: $209

The Whisky:

This is the mountaintop of Johnnie Walker’s whiskies. The blend is a marriage of ultra-rare stock from extinct Diageo distilleries around Scotland. That’s cooler than Brad Pitt wearing work boots and aviators on his motorcycle. This expression is all about barrel selection and the mastery of a great noser and blender working together to create something special.

Tasting Notes:

Dried fruit with a plummy sweetness mingle with a very soft and almost dry waft of smoke. The palate then veers in a completely different direction — folding in orange oils, marzipan, rose water, honeycombs, and even a dusting of bitter cacao once a drop of water is added. The end is slow, smoky, and full of dry fruits, nuts, and has a malty nature.

Collectibility:

These are truly bespoke limited yearly releases that you have no reason to open — just grab a regular Johnnie Blue to sip. The Ox expression will 100 percent go up in value. It’s also a freaking beautiful piece to have.

Talisker 30

ABV: 45.8%

Average Price: $1,000

The Whisky:

Talisker’s seaside vibes are on full display in this beautiful bottle. The last limited release was only 3,186 bottles, making this a very rare expression from the Isle of Skye distillery.

Tasting Notes:

Based on the 2017 release, the nose is shockingly subtle and soft with velvety notes of smoldering dried nori next to matchsticks that have been dipped in a buttery and rich dark chocolate with sea salt gently sprinkled all over. The palate leans into the dialed-back peat by bringing about a smoked cream with fire-seared peaches next to a hint of wet cedar, very old tobacco leaves, and a touch of almond or oat milk touched by salt. That salt drives the mid-palate towards a finish that’s like getting kissed by merfolk on a beach next to a campfire that’s heating a cauldron full of spicy stewed peaches in more of that cream.

Sound interesting? It is!

Collectibility:

These are very rare drops that you can still find pours of in the best whisk(e)y bars in the world. Our advice: Order a pour at the bar and save the bottle in the vault.

Octomore 11.1

ABV: 59.5%

Average Price: $200

The Whisky:

This is the first of four releases in Octomore’s 11.x “Super Heavily Peated” line. The juice is fermented from 100 percent Concerto and Propino malted barley grown in Scotland. The whisky then spent about five years in ex-bourbon barrels from Jim Beam, Heaven Hill, and Jack Daniel’s before it went into the bottle at cask strength with zero fussing.

Tasting Notes:

These are peat bombs and that’s apparent from the first whiff of green moss and wet firewood bark smoldering over a campfire on a rainy day while notes of Windex mingle with honey apples and a touch of ginger spice. The taste dances between dried and smoked red chilis preserved in honey and a peaches-and-cream vibe that leans more towards buttermilk tartness with a dash of salt and a sprinkle of wet brown sugar. The honey and vanilla last into the mid-palate until the peat takes over the finish with a deeply charred bitterness that’s kind of like throwing burning coal in your face and then chewing on it (some people really like that).

Collectibility:

There were about 30,000 of these bottles released with a much smaller number actually making it across the pond. These aren’t the rarest whiskies on the list but they’re fought over in the U.S. because there’s nothing quite like them. They are unique and we’ll never see this exact expression released again.

Orphan Barrel Forager’s Keep

ABV: 48%

Average Price: $590

The Whisky:

This was Diageo’s first Orphan Barrel from Scotland (they usually focus on long-forgotten bourbons). The juice in this bottle is a 26-year-old single malt from the long-shuttered and now-demolished Pittyvaich distillery. So not only are you getting a super rare and old whisky, you’re getting something that we’ll never see again.

Tasting Notes:

The nose draws you in with sharp green apples nestled in loose straw in wicker baskets in a sunny orchard with a throughline of light vanilla cream. The apple and vanilla mellow out into an almost cream soda note on the palate, as a rush of orange oils and wet cedar spice things up. The end adds in a dry cedar and apple tobacco vibe with a hint of silken maltiness.

Collectibility:

This is a very rare release from a dead distillery. We literally will never see this again. And when it’s gone, it’s gone forever. That’s reason enough to squirrel one of these away.

The Balvenie Single Barrel 25

ABV: 47.8%

Average Price: $700

The Whisky:

Malt Master David Stewart hand-selects these Balvenie barrels for bottling. He searches through refill ex-bourbon barrels that are 25-years-old to find one that’s exactly right according to his legendary abilities. The whisky is then touched with a drop of water to help highlight the flavors and textures Stewart is looking for.

Tasting Notes:

This draws deeply from woody holiday spices that are stored in an old cedar box that once held honey-dipped cigars. A flourish of orchard fruit arrives by way of spicy stewed pie filling and a honey tobacco sharp-yet-sweet buzz that leads towards a silky — almost … calm — mouthfeel. The finish holds onto the honey as notes of vanilla husks, dried wildflowers, stewed pears, and more of that velvet honey slowly fade away.

Collectibility:

There’s a lot of great collectible bottles from The Balvenie. While their Tun drops and 30-year-old are a little more flashy, this 25 year is a touch more accessible to the casual collector and will certainly be something to hold onto for a while as people drink them, thereby making them rarer.

Mortlach 21 Rare By Nature 2020 Release

ABV: 56.9%

Average Price: $868

The Whisky:

Mortlach is a Dufftown icon. The juices in this bottle are single malts that are small-batched and then refilled into former Pedro Ximenez and Oloroso sherry seasoned casks for final maturation. The whisky was then bottled at cask strength, allowing you a full vision of what was in the barrel.

Tasting Notes:

This opens with a holiday cake feel with plenty of candied fruits, spices, dried fruits, and nuts next to a touch of cream soda and a line or two of rich toffee syrup. The palate builds on the holiday cake vibe with chili-infused dark chocolate next to hints of ripe cherries and plums with a light echo of dried tobacco and cedar. The end is not too long and leaves you with a silky mouthfeel and a spicy warmth.

Collectibility:

Anything from Mortlach that has an age over 20 years is pretty damn rare and collectible. This 21-year age statement is very unique and we will not see it again outside of this 2020 limited edition release.

Ardbeg Traigh Bhan 19 Year

ABV: 46.2%

Average Price: $320

The Whisky:

This is Ardbeg’s yearly release of special batches of 19-year-old peaty malt. The whisky is Ardbeg’s signature peated whisky that’s bottled during a “haar.” That’s a thick and briny foggy morning on Islay, which imparts that x-factor into the whisky as it goes into the bottle.

Tasting Notes:

You’re drawn in with a super subtle waft of soft smoke with hints of sour cream, fennel, and cold-smoked salmon on a pine cutting board that’s been washed in the sea. The palate holds onto that briny seaside vibe as it veers towards sea salt-laden dark bricks of fudge bespeckled with dried orange zest and lavender. The end circles back around to a sooty smoke that feels like a warm granite rock that’s been dipped in the sea and then rolled around in the dying embers of a fire.

Collectibility:

Ardbeg is great at releasing limited editions we’ll never see again. This is a special release that’s worth holding onto as long as you can, as people really love drinking Ardbeg at the moment

The Glenlivet XXV

ABV: 43%

Average Price: $456

The Whisky:

This masterpiece from Glenlivet is their iconic whisky that’s left to mature for 25 years. That whisky is then finished in an Olorosso sherry cask for that final chef’s kiss before going in the bottle at an incredibly accessible 86 proof.

Tasting Notes:

Imagine the best, most bespoke dark chocolate-covered raisins from a ridiculously expensive chocolate shop and you’ll be on the right track. Those sweets are the foundation for burnt orange peels, Almond Roca candies, and sweet caramel malts with zero edges. The finish is so long that you might still be thinking about it on your death bed thanks to an orange/spice/nutty matrix of silky-whisky-smoothness (also my favorite TLC album title).

Collectibility:

This is another whisky that you see getting poured a lot at whisky clubs, high-end bars, and amongst collectors looking to try something magical from the iconic shingle. That means these releases tend to dwindle pretty quickly, leaving the leftover bottles looking very attractive to collectors.

The Dalmore Constellation 1981 Aged 30 Years

ABV: 54%

Average Price: $6,660

The Whisky:

The whisky from The Dalmore is very old with unique aging. The juice spends about 25 years in used American oak before it’s finished for almost five years in Metusalem Oloroso sherry casks. Those barrels are used to age sherry for 30 years before they head to Scotland to be filled with whisky. Moreover, the finishing on this whisky is longer than most whiskies are aged in general.

Tasting Notes:

This leans heavily into cedar chips that have been touched by droplets of orange oils, lavender oils, and then mixed with dried potpourri. Those dried florals lean into eucalyptus, Earl Grey tea, and a touch of rose perfume filtered through a pack of Pall-Mall cigarettes. The palate leans away from the dried florals and essential oils towards bitter orange-infused marzipan with dark chocolate covering next to a hint of salted ginger candies and eggnog spices (clove and nutmeg especially) and some nice creaminess. The mid-palate really lets the marzipan and nutmeg peak as the finish leans into the creaminess of the dark chocolate with a silken brandy-drenched chocolate orange vibe.

Collectibility:

There were only 787 bottles of these produced. Need we say more as to the collectibility of this very rare bottle of scotch?

Bowmore 54 Years Old 1957

ABV: 42.1%

Average Price: $155,000 and up

The Whisky:

This bottle is a little like time travel. Released in 2012, this juice was distilled in 1957 and spent 54 years chilling, untouched, in Bowmore’s warehouse. When it was released, it was the oldest Islay malt ever released on the open market.

Tasting Notes (from the distillery):

On The Eye: Glistening warm gold. Breathe In: An elixir of blueberries and wild figs with mellow almonds, tropical fruit, and rich oaky overtones. Sip: Layer upon layer of sweet and refined ocean tastes with soft blueberries, cassis and figs, sea salt, and fresh eucalyptus. Savor: Long and whispering finish of cassis, bergamot, and star anise.

Collectibility:

The MSRP on this was $155,000 and only available at the distillery. And, well, it’s the oldest Islay malt you can buy. Enough said.

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*Uproxx is not offering investment advice and cannot be held accountable for fluctuations in the Scotch whisky market.

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Lil Peep’s mother, Liza Womack, and her late son’s record label have long been entwined in a legal battle, and while it’s yet to have been resolved, Womack delivered another accusation against them. According to Rolling Stone the late rapper’s mother says First Access Entertainment owes $4 million to Peep’s estate and claims their failure to give her the money is a “transparent” attempt to derail the wrongful death and business lawsuit that was filed against the FAE and its boss. FAE denied the allegations at a court hearing on Tuesday and claimed Peep’s mother was to blame for the delay.

“FAE is trying to choke off her funds by denying her her royalty revenue that they know she’s owed,” Womack’s lawyer Paul A. Matiasic said during Tuesday’s court hearing. Matiasic adds that the $4 million owed to his client is royalty payments from Peep’s music that FAE allegedly “admitted” it owes to his estate. He also labeled the relationship between his client and FAE as “dysfunctional” and requested a court’s intervention in the matter.

“It’s not true that it’s dysfunctional,” FAE’s lawyer John W. Amberg said in court. “It also is not true that FAE owes the estate over $4 million. That’s simply not true. That’s just an argument used to gain someone’s sympathy here.”

The accusation against FAE comes four months after Womack revealed she suffered two strokes since the tragic death of her son at the end of 2017. “I am not going to die until I take care of this matter,” she said at the time in regards to wrongful death lawsuit. “I’m going to live. I have a mission.”

White Castle is one of those regional fast-food chains that somehow feels ubiquitous even though it’s not (a little like In-N-Out in that way). The chain is actually pretty small and focused — 370 shops in only 13 states — centering itself mostly in the Midwest and New York. But it has been around 100 years (this month, actually) and those 10 decades have left it awash in Americana energy. Then, of course, you have a clear pop culture reference point, thanks to Harold and Kumar’s famous quest to the slider counter.

That slider counter is actually where we’re focused today, too. We’re ranking all the sliders at White Castle, folks!

This endeavor was an interesting one. Before taking on this challenge, I hadn’t been to a White Castle in easily 20 years. I do not have any fond memories or nostalgia for the place (or its food). For the most part, this food is largely unknown to me besides the broad strokes of small burgers, steamed patties and buns, and (silly) castle-like architecture.

Basically, I was going in cold to this tasting and ranking. A rarity when I venture into the fast food universe.

To rank these sliders, I’m going on taste alone. That sounds obvious, but there are plenty of rankings where my own nostalgia plays a part. I ended up ranking all eight sliders that were available at the shop I went to (in Louisville, KY). They were out of the Impossible Slider and the Veggie Slider because there are various shortages, for obvious reasons. Still, I ordered all eight main menu sliders, took a bite out of each one, and decided which one(s) I’d actually like to finish.

Let’s get to it!

The Ranking

THE TRASH

8. Chicken & Waffles Slider

The Slider:

This is a specialty slider that bridges the breakfast and main menus. There are two waffle “buns” that are already sweetened with syrup sandwiching a crispy fried chicken filet with a touch of country gravy and bacon crumbles.

Taste:

The fillings of this slider are on point. The “waffles” are not. The waffles that make up the bun of this one are very rubbery and overly sweet. I know waffles with syrup are inherently sweet, but this is more like an artificial sweetener sweet that just doesn’t vibe with the big savory notes of the fried chicken fillet and bacon.

Bottom Line:

The waffles really killed this one for me. As you’ll see below, the steamed bun really goes a long way to making these sliders work and that just wasn’t here. It was hard, a little dry, and kind of plastic-y.

A very hard “do not eat this.”

THE BAD

7. The Original Slider

The Slider:

The Original Slider is a steamed patty over white onions, steamed bun, and slice of pickle. It’s super simple and pretty damn small. The beef patty, in this case, was about a half-a-step up from a thick smear of, say, Marmite on a steamed bun.

It was very thin.

Taste:

This wasn’t bad but it wasn’t much of anything. The thinness of the patty was kind of bafflingly thin. The onions were there but only barely and provided more of a soft layer of onion-like flavor. The pickle was pretty much lost or flavorless.

Bottom Line:

I don’t get these. They aren’t offensive like those weird waffles above but there’s just not any there there with this slider. I felt nothing eating this and was kind of mad these are so revered.

6. Cheese Slider

The Slider:

Take the Original Slider and add a small slice of American cheese. Done.

Taste:

It’s amazing what cheese can do. That thin layer of melted orange goo really helped add an extra dimension of flavor and texture to this slider.

Still not good, though. Far from it.

Bottom Line:

This slider was very soft and light and left me with very little flavor or burger-ness. It’s was a bit more like I was eating a five-year-old child’s idea of what a burger might be based on a poorly rendered Saturday morning cartoon.

5. Chicken Ring Slider

The Slider:

This slider is made with two deep-fried processed chicken rings with a single slice of American cheese.

Taste:

The chicken rings in this slider are very reminiscent of a high school cafeteria’s lunch menu. The flavor is a step above that and fairly savory, with a touch of black pepper, but it’s more like you’re getting some frozen rings from the grocery store than anything unique or special.

Bottom Line:

At least there was a bit of heft to this. You felt like you were actually eating something and it was okay. Not great. Just okay.

Okay, a little less than okay.

THE… FINE

4. Bacon Cheese Slider

The Slider:

The Original Slider with cheese and bacon? Now we’re talking!

Taste:

The bacon does add a nice layer of smoke, sweetness, and umami to the mix. The bacon wasn’t overly rubbery like that place with the golden arches. It was slightly crisp but… still a little listless.

Bottom Line:

That layer of bacon really helped the Original Slider shine. I could actually see eating a set of these sliders and being somewhat satisfied. Not happy, mind you, but certainly mildly satiated.

THE GOOD

3. Bacon & Cheese Chicken Slider

The Slider:

This is the Crispy Chicken Breast Slider (more on that later) with a slice of American cheese and a piece of bacon.

Taste:

This is where things get interesting. The chicken breast is a nice morsel that was well seasoned and actually crispy with a nice moistness. The bacon and cheese were nice touches but almost seemed unnecessary, given how solid the base of this one was.

Bottom Line:

This is where we get into the “yeah, I get White Castle” territory. The slider was hefty enough to feel like a real meal while packing enough flavor to actually feel satisfied in eating it.

2. Panko Breaded Fish Slider

The Slider:

This slider is made by deep-frying a panko-crusted pollock filet, topping it with cheese, and putting it into a steamed bun. It’s simple and the biggest standout on the White Castle menu.

Taste:

The filet had a nice fish note that was soft and not overly briny. The crust was nice and crisp and didn’t melt away (like so many fried fish sandwiches fall victim to) because the size was small enough to finish fast. The cheese was a welcome gooey addition and the steamed bun was a nice compliment.

Bottom Line:

I’m an avowed fried fish sandwich fan, and this is a pretty decent fast-food fish sandwich. It’s not life-changing, but it is good. It also really stood out on the menu as something very simple but very satisfying.

I can definitely see eating a couple of these for lunch and walking away happy.

1. Crispy Chicken Breast Slider

The Slider:

This is a simple fried chicken sandwich in slider form. The sandwich is a simply fried white chicken breast filet topped with American cheese and sandwiched between steamed buns.

Taste:

The chicken breast is the star of the show. It’s well seasoned with deep umami and a touch of black pepper. There’s a nice crunch to the breading that lasts through the whole eating experience. The cheese adds the soft orange savoriness you’re looking for. The bun is still sort of airy and listless but fine in this application.

Bottom Line:

This was the slider that I went back to immediately. It is very simple but executed well. There’s a real heft, making it a filling prospect for a meal.

It’s also a piece of fried chicken with cheese in a soft bun. You really can’t go wrong.

Final Thoughts

I don’t know that I ever need to go to White Castle again. It’s not that it’s bad or unpalatable, it’s just that nothing wowed me in any way. It was all … just fine. Except for those waffles, those were straight garbage.

The thing is, why eat three or four sliders in a meal when you can get a perfectly good burger at Wendy’s or even McDonald’s — both of which are usually across the street from White Castle. It feels like a prank that people took seriously, got turned into a movie and shouted out in a few songs, and now, a hundred years later, we’re way too committed to the bit to give it up.

I guess if you’re really, really high it all probably make more sense. Maybe I need to go back while stoned and do all of this again? Or not. I think I’ll just go to Culver’s instead.