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R. Kelly Has A Writing Credit On Drake’s New Album ‘Certified Lover Boy’

Drake’s new album Certified Lover Boy has been out for a few hours now, and between its release and now, fans have been carefully examining the project. That sleuthing has led to an eyebrow-raising discovery: R. Kelly has a writing credit on the album.

Along with Drake, the artists credited as writers on the song “TSU” include Harley Arsenault, Noel Cadastre, F. Hills, Timothy Mosley (aka Timbaland), Ronald Coleman (aka OG Ron C), Christopher Cross, Justin Timberlake, and Robert Kelly (aka R. Kelly).

As Genius notes, the song samples NSYNC’s 1997 song “Sailing,” a cover of Cross’ 1980 single. Furthermore, others have pointed out the song also samples Timberlake’s “Until The End Of Time,” which Timbaland co-wrote. According to WhoSampled, the song also samples Kelly’s 1998 song “Half On A Baby,” which is where his writing credit comes from.

It was reported recently that Kelly is attempting to sell the publishing rights to his back catalog. If somebody purchased the rights, Kelly would not profit from his song being sampled on “TSU.” However, it appears Kelly is struggling to find a buyer, so as it stands now, Kelly still owns his publishing rights and will therefore profit from “TSU,” which is becoming a much-discussed song on one of the year’s biggest albums.

Of course, Kelly has faced many allegations of sexual misconduct in recent years. Most recently, an alleged male victim of sexual exploitation by Kelly testified in court.

Certified Lover Boy is out now via OVO Sound/Republic. Get it here.

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‘What We Do In The Shadows’ Kayvan Novak On Why There’s Trouble Ahead For The Nandor/Guillermo Relationship

When fans tune in for the What We Do In The Shadows season three premiere, things will have changed, for the show itself and the characters within it.

A global pandemic and a thirst for feel-good TV shows to numb the metaphorical pain and very real anxiety of living under lockdowns and surging COVID cases transformed the FX fantasy series into a comedy oasis. Fans who weren’t familiar with its humble beginnings — the show is based on an indie mockumentary filmed in New Zealand and created by Kiwi breakouts Jemaine Clement and Taika Waititi — or its mostly-British cast flocked to the offbeat humor surreal mundanity that comes naturally when you drop a trio of centuries-old, out-of-touch vampires in the middle of Staten Island and task them with taking over the New World.

Nandor (Kayvan Novak), Laszlo (Matt Berry), and Nadja (Natasia Demetriou) haven’t quite been up to the task in the world of Shadows — though they’re doing a damn good job of taking over pop culture in our own — but that might be changing in season three as they inherit more power and get saddled with more responsibilities. They’ve also got a Van Helsing-sized problem to contend with in familiar-turned-Buffy-wannabe Guillermo (Harvey Guillen), and Colin Robinson (Mark Proksch) seems to be sticking around to drain their energy whenever the mood strikes.

Whoever said life is hard never tried being undead. We chatted with the group’s “relentless” de-facto leader, Nandor. Or, actually, we Zoomed with his human counterpart, Kayvan Novak, but the guy so seamlessly transitioned into the naïve immortal’s obscure Eastern European accent when channeling his character, we’re honestly not sure who we were talking to. Both were delightful and gave us some interesting insight into the vamp’s search for love this season.

You filmed this season in Canada, during the winter, mostly at night, and during a pandemic. So, I have to ask, were you excited to get back to the WWDITS verse, or were you dreading it?

[Laughs] It was brilliant up to the point of leaving. I was distraught. I’d become so attached to just being here in the UK with my fiancé and my dog and my cat, it was hard. That’s the worst bit, kind of tearing yourself away from that. Once you go, then you’re away, you’re at work, and you’re just remembering what you love about being in that environment and playing those characters. As a cast and crew, we were all really happy to see each other again, which is lovely. We are a family. We had just as many laughs as we did in season two.

The vampires have a bit more power this season thanks to Guillermo’s massacre at the end of season two. What’s changed for Nandor? What’s his outlook on life this season?

The biggest change for Nandor is the dynamic with Guillermo. At the end of season two, Guillermo was revealed to be a vampire killer, which messed with Nandor quite a bit because that’s the relationship he’s been leaning on for 10 years. So that was exciting, and I was apprehensive about it. [switches to Nandor’s ambiguous Eastern European accent] “Oh I cannot lose my Guillermo, he’s not scared of me anymore. Is he going to listen to me, what’s the deal?” The status has changed because it was firmly in my favor, in my head, anyway.

Nandor was also going to be going on this journey to try and find love as well, and [I got to] draw from my own experiences and relationships and kind of put that into Nandor’s vulnerability and sense of heartbreak and desperation — all the things that go along with desire and rejection. I got to play all of these emotions within a kind of ensemble comedy in a goofy, funny character. My challenge I guess was to bring something real to the table and thankfully that is all in the writing and the direction.

He’s depressed and horny.

It’s not a great combination, really, is it?

A lot of fans like to read between the lines of the Nandor/Guillermo bromance but it doesn’t seem Nandor is really good at recognizing those signals. Does his obsession with finding someone to share eternal life with this season strain things with Guillermo even more?

I think that Nandor’s pursuit of love is extremely selfish. I think he never really takes into account Guillermo’s feelings. But that happens — you just get tunnel vision, you decide that you want something or someone and you don’t care what it takes to get it. The old vestige is you hurt the ones that you love, right? I think he does love Guillermo and he takes for granted that that love will be reciprocated no matter what, no matter how many times he sh*ts on him, steps on his toes, breaks his heart, pokes him with a stick.

Especially when he’s like, “Oh, I love this person. I love that person. I want to turn her into a vampire. I’m going to go and live with her for the rest of my life, this is it.” He never once takes into consideration that Guillermo might be upset. And when he does, I think his response is just to kind of gaslight him, to be like, “Grow up, man up, get over it.” All these kinds of quite insensitive, blunt reactions. But really what he’s doing is he’s got a hard time dealing with his own guilt that maybe he does bring Guillermo a lot of pain, and he just doesn’t want to hear it. When your mom’s like “Oh, you don’t call me anymore.”You don’t want that kind of family guilt. It’s the most potent kind of guilt that your siblings or your parents can kind of throw on you, like a curse you can’t get rid of. It’s just there. Guillermo is like that. But ultimately you have to submit to that because they’re family and you love them.

There’s a terrific Twilight callback this season, and it’s not the first Twilight reference Nandor has made on the show? Is he a Twi-hard?

It’s weird. They never really explored that joke any further, that I’m really into Twilight. Maybe he’s holding onto some glitter for another time, but I think it’s something that kind of left in the air. I might have to remind them of the fact that Nandor must be into Twilight quite a bit. Maybe [a future storyline] can be they are rebooting Twilight, and I’m going to get a part on it, but as a non-vampire.

‘What We Do In The Shadows’ returns to FX on Sept. 2.

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In Praise Of Movies That Just End (Because They Used To Know When To End)

Seven Samurai, Akira Kurosawa’s 1954 masterpiece (that I, embarrassingly, had not seen until recently) is just under three and a half hours long. But it doesn’t feel long. And this is something I’ve been noticing more and more over the last year and a half – to the point I’ve been having trouble getting back on the same wavelength with modern movies. Because older movies used to “just end.” The plot would be over and the credits would roll.

Now, a couple of things that need to be pointed out here: let’s define “older movies” as anything that falls between, say, 1935 and 2000. (Even in the ’90s movies used to “just end.”) And, also, there are always exceptions, but what I’m talking about here is the vast majority of movies. Before 2000, the plot would end and the credits would roll. Now, the plot ends and the movie just keeps going. Movies I genuinely like wear out their welcome with three or four endings that has to tie up every loose end – which has the effect of making movies seem really long.

Let’s back up a second. So, here’s what happened: On Friday, March 13th, 2020, New York City was about to shut down and enter a frightening new era. I made a decision that, however long this lasted, I wasn’t going to let this time go to waste. So I decided that every classic movie I’ve never seen, but always wanted to, well now this was the time. I figured, then, I could watch 20 or so. Since March 13, 2020, as of today (with several re-watches thrown in, too), I’ve watched 602 movies. I truly became obsessed. I was determined to do something with this time period. If a day went by that I didn’t add a classic movie to my watched list, I felt guilty about it. But immersing myself this deep into classic films, I started to notice the pattern that movies used to “just end.” And then, now, when I watch new movies, they just keep going and going and going and it’s driving me nuts. Why is this? I set off to find out.

Now, I want to be clear, this is not a statement on quality. None of this is saying, “well, they don’t make them like they used to.” (Even though that may be true, but that’s not the point here.) This is not even about ambiguous endings, though there is some crossover. But I’d argue even endings that aren’t inherently ambiguous still leave a lot up to the imagination, which is a good thing. (And I’m also mostly talking about studio movies. You know, studios – these companies that mass-market movies for profit.) And having immersed myself in so many past movies in a relatively short amount of time, I really think it rewired my brain on how the flow of a movie used to go and, probably, is supposed to go. And, now, how modern movies end is just different. And these drawn-out endings make them feel longer.

Seeking out examples of movies “just ending,” I’m scrolling through my Letterboxd diary and almost every single older movie I watched “just ends.” Let’s pick a few at random (spoilers for older movies to come): There’s a slew of Humphrey Bogart movies I watched, and in almost all of his movies, he’ll say one last line after the plot ends, then immediately followed by “The End.” Oh yeah, Nighthawks, Stallone kills the bad guy, sits down on the stairs to his building, the credits roll. Daniel LaRusso wins the All Valley tournament and the movie freeze frames and ends. The French Connection II ending is truly remarkable how quickly it ends after the villain is shot and killed. Even the aforementioned Seven Samurai, this is a three and a half hour movie and once the final battle is over the movie only takes three and a half minutes to wrap everything up. The plot is over, why would we want to sit there and continue watching this? Movies used to realize this. In The Omega Man, a movie I just watched this week, Charlton Heston hangs on to life just long enough to deliver a serum that could be used to save his friend’s life, as his colleagues head to the hills. Does it work? Do they make it? Well, that’s up to me because once he hands it over the credits roll. (I could list literally 200 more but I’ll stop.) I just can’t tell you how many times I’m watching a screener of a modern movie at home, it feels about over, then I check and there’s somehow 45 minutes left. As opposed to when I’m watching an older movie, that feels nowhere near over, and I check to see the time remeaining and there’s somehow only seven minutes left.

Compare that with Free Guy, a movie I mostly liked but it just kept going and going and decided it had to begin, and resolve, a thread about a love interest that I didn’t even pay attention to during the main plot of the film. In the Heights is another movie I enjoyed, but all these older movies had programmed me to think the film would end after it’s showstopper of a dance number after the blackout. Everything seemed mostly resolved and the stuff that wasn’t, I’d figure it out on my own. (More on that later.) But, instead, there was another 40 minutes left, because literally everything had to be resolved. (Again, this was a movie I liked quite a bit.)

I reached out to a few prominent screenwriters/filmmakers to ask them if I was off base. These are people you have most likely heard of who have made movies you have most likely seen. What I found was I was getting two sets of answers. I was getting “on the record” answers that kind of insinuated I was making too big a deal about this. Then I was getting “off the record” or “on background” answers that were much more interesting and honest and made it sound like, yes, I was correct. So what I did was I told everyone I wouldn’t be using their names and would just publish everyone’s quotes on background because I’d rather have the interesting, more honest answers.

The unanimous consensus, and most obvious answer, is movies feel too long now because they have to set up potential sequels. Movies can no longer “just end” and leave some loose threads up to the viewer. Everything has to be resolved in order to set up the next story. “Movies now complete the ending so much that they actually start the next thing,” says one prominent screenwriter. “So many movies now end with the beginning of the sequel.”

“I think, on a practical level, when we’re talking about studio filmmaking,” says another screenwriter, “we’re talking about a given film not being just its own thing, but often the vehicle that sets up a franchise. And when you’re working like that, there’s a lot of heavy lifting to be done in the first entry. Yeah, whatever journey you’re on has to end, but it also has to spark what comes next.”

One of the reasons I cut this off at 2000 is the Lord of the Rings movies, because Return of the King seems to be the Big Bang of a movie that is the opposite of “just ends.” And people were not used to that then, to the point everyone noticed it went on forever after the plot was over. Now, I’m no so sure people would notice. It’s just like every other movie now. Almost every movie goes on way too long after the plot is over.

“Well, I think it has a lot to do with CinemaScore and the testing process,” says a screenwriter. “Movies are looking for that little boost at the end to get that final impression up a bit right as people leave the theater. That’s why post-credit sequences work. You can see that movies that end ambiguously score lower in testing and on CinemaScore. So the longer endings remove all ambiguity.”

He continues, “There is a screenwriter guru person. She says people don’t care about victories; they respond to people celebrating the victories. That’s what makes audiences happy. Hence the medal scene at the end of Star Wars. That’s what gives people joy, not the Death Star exploding. I think maybe we’ve overlearned that lesson.”

And that medal ceremony scene at the end of Star Wars? Do you know how long that scene is? It’s one minute and forty seconds long. That’s it. Luke Skywalker blows up the Death Star and they wrap everything up in a tidy scene less that two minutes long. It’s perfect. Compare that to the ending of The Rise Of Skywalker that I think is still going. Every little thing had to be resolved, even Chewbacca finally getting a medal from this aforementioned medal ceremony. Think about watching the first Star Wars in a vacuum in 1977, without all the sequels that would come later. Do we think Han will stick around? Darth Vader got away, what’s he up to? What happened to Ben, why did he just disappear? This created discussion and it created a more satisfying experience because, we, the viewer, could think about those questions and it made us think about the movie more. Now, all that stuff has to be addressed. If Casablanca came out today, It wouldn’t end with Ilsa flying away. We’d have to hear all of Rick’s thoughts about Ilsa flying away. Rick, back at his bar, telling Sam all about his plan to get Ilsa back. Just going on and on and on after the plot is long over.

“Sometimes it’s great to let your imagination run without being pointed in a certain direction,” says, you guessed it, a screenwriter. “And sometimes it’s important to know. But I think writers and directors were given permission by audiences to explore what happens to these people once the cameras stop rolling. Sometimes that’s a good question to answer, and doing so has serious impact. Sometimes it’s a terrible idea and you shoot the foot off everything you worked so hard to achieve.”

Movies feel long. This is a constant complaint. But I truly believe it has nothing to do with length. Older movies are also long. (Again, I just watched a three and a half hour movie and it did not feel long.) It has to do with the modern movie tying up every loose end, leaving nothing to the imagination, taking long victory laps, and setting up future movies. All for the promise of a slightly higher test score and setting up the next movie. Because of this, movies don’t “just end” like they used to. And we are worse off for that.

And here’s one final thought about this from, yes, a screenwriter, “Here’s how execs and producers think: If an audience leaves a theater unhappy with the ending, they’re going to tell people the movie was unsatisfying. And what they don’t understand is that an initial snap reaction to a movie is one thing. And that a happy ending looks and feels great in the moment. But it often means less over the long haul. But they only react to what’s on the cards. And they think that people are going to walk out of a movie where the protagonists don’t outright ‘win’ and tell all their friends the movie sucked. That’s almost never how it works. And you want people to have an experience, not just feel placated. Sometimes life is messy. Sometimes shit ends terribly and it doesn’t invalidate what led you there. Sometimes it’s better to just say thanks and get the fuck out. But so often that’s an organic thing. And so often the testing process squashes that out of fear.”

You can contact Mike Ryan directly on Twitter.

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Reese Witherspoon Announced Her Entry Into Cryptocurrency, And Whoa, She Got Some Weird Twitter Responses

Reese Witherspoon has officially the entered the world of cryptocurrency. On Thursday night, The Morning Show actress tweeted that she just bought her first ETH (short for ethereum), and her replies instantly filled up with a welcome wagon full of weird. As for what the heck an ETH even is, and what makes it different than bitcoin, ethereum is the “world’s programmable blockchain,” which has all sorts of applications. Most specifically, creating NFTs, which have been taking the art world by storm. Via MoneyWeek:

Decentralised finance (DeFi) applications allow for all sorts of financial services – decentralised exchanges, for example, or borrowing and lending systems – without the need for typical financial intermediaries such as banks or brokerages.

Ethereum allows for the creation and trade of NFTs – tokens which are connected to digital works of art and other forms of digital property.

On top of watching her follower count skyrocket, Witherspoon soon found herself inundated with an avalanche of pitches for other crypto-coins, which was to be expected, but she probably wasn’t prepared for how bonkers the online crypto crowd can be. Here are just some of the weirdo reactions, and if half of them don’t make sense, that’s par for the course:

However, Witherspoon getting in on ETH wasn’t all welcomes and memes. Some savvy crypto-investors saw her entry as a sign that the price for ETH is about to hit a wall after being on an impressive rally this week, according to Fortune.

It should be noted that Reese was underestimated once before, and you know what she did? Went to Harvard and became a lawyer. True story.

(Via Reese Witherspoon on Twitter)

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Week 1 College Football Picks: Alabama Gets Back To Basics, And Fading The Worst Team In America

The 2021 college football season is well underway after an amuse-bouche of sorts in Week 0 last week and a full Thursday night that saw Ohio State and UCF complete second half comebacks to pick up important early season wins. Week 1’s marathon that started on Wednesday will see games every night through Monday, and that means a full weekend of football betting is afoot.

Each week, we’ll highlight five of our favorite plays from the college football slate in our never-ending quest to hand out winners, and I will look to do my best to replicate the success of my colleague Brad Rowland on the NFL side. The college slate is much bigger each week and in the past I have had a tendency to spray the board wildly, but I’m going to try and narrow my focus to five plays each week and see if a little moderation is the key to more success.

Come get these Week 1 winners (lines come courtesy BetMGM).

Michigan State-Northwestern UNDER 46 (Friday, 9:00 p.m. ET)

This is a tone-setter for the season. There’s nothing I enjoy more than a good Under and few teams I enjoy riding with in my quest for as few points as possible as Northwestern and Michigan State. This has all the makings of a good old fashioned Big Ten rock fight on Friday night and I love it. We’ll cozy up with this nightcap and look for a lot of defense, a lot of punts, and the clock to roll as these teams run the damn ball.

Kansas State (-3.5) vs. Stanford (Saturday, 12:00 p.m. ET)

This might be the least enticing Cowboys Classic in history in terms of brand name draws, but I cannot wait for this one. I have the Under as well, because these are two teams that enjoy running the football and I expect the clock to move swiftly, but I like the Cats as a short favorite even more. I’m not typically a favorites guy, but I do find myself leaning on a few this week. Stanford has been lost in the wilderness recently as the overall talent pool has slipped a bit on the Farm. Kansas State, meanwhile, boasts one of the country’s most dynamic backs in Deuce Vaughn, and I expect them to simply produce more explosive plays in the running game to be able to pull ahead and away from the Cardinal.

Alabama-Miami (FL) UNDER 61.5 (Saturday, 3:30 p.m. ET)

In recent years, the Tide have become an offensive powerhouse, peaking last season with the uber-explosive group led by Mac Jones, DeVonta Smith, and Najee Harris. However, this year’s squad features a ton of turnover on the offensive side of the ball, headlined by young phenom QB Bryce Young and a new offensive coordinator in Bill O’Brien now that Steve Sarkisian is off in Austin at the helm of Texas. It’s possible Alabama gets back to its explosive ways later in the season, but this team has the feel early of some of those early Nick Saban squads that will rely on a glutton of defensive talent to lead the way and ask their offense to simply not make mistakes. As the season goes on and Young and company get more comfortable, that could change, but to start, I expect them to be a defense-first squad and, against a Miami team that likewise boasts a stout defense, I think this game slides in Under the total of 61.5.

Illinois (-5.5) vs. UTSA (Saturday, 7:30 p.m. ET)

This line stinks. The Illini dusted Nebraska in their Week 0 opener and UTSA comes into Champaign as a solid, yet unspectacular C-USA squad. Naturally, this line is inside a touchdown which normally sets off alarm bells. I’m going to ignore those, however, and ride with Bret Bielema’s squad in a classic letdown spot for one significant reason: they are a really old team. No roster has more “super seniors” than Illinois, as they took full advantage of the NCAA granting everyone an added year of eligibility. Art Sitkowski looked very comfortable leading this offense as he came off the bench to replace an injured Brandon Peters, and their physicality at the point of attack running the football makes me believe they can take control of this game and cruise to a 7-10 point win.

San Diego State (-31.5) vs. New Mexico State (Saturday, 10:30 p.m. ET)

Friends, let’s talk about the worst team in college football. New Mexico State isn’t just bad, they are awful. This is a team that skipped the fall season and played two games in the spring against FCS squads Tarleton State and Dixie State. They lost to Tarleton State by 26 and narrowly beat Dixie State by 7. They then opened this season in Week 0 against UTEP, a perennial bottom feeder in Conference USA, and lost 30-3 in a game that didn’t even feel that close. Now, they go play one of the most consistent programs in the country in San Diego State and are only catching 31.5 points. America, I am here to tell you, as a staunch advocate of taking the points in this situation most every time, to lay it with the Aztecs and rest easy on Saturday night. The Aggies are that bad.

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A ‘Better Call Saul’ Producer Offers A Promising Update On The Final Season Following Bob Odenkirk’s Health Scare

Production on the sixth and final season of Better Call Saul was temporarily shut down after star Bob Odenkirk suffered a heart attack, but according to producer Thomas Schnauz, the Emmy-winning series has resumed filming.

“Everything with production is moving forward, steady but slow. We’re filming scenes that don’t involve Bob right now,” he told Den of Geek. “I just finished editing my director’s cut of episode 607, and I addressed some notes on my script for 611. I’m still waiting to hear the dates of when I’ll prep and direct 611.” Schnauz also said that he has “zero idea” when the season will premiere “because of the COVID delays, and then Bob’s heart attack and recovery.” But as long as Odenkirk’s healthy, we’re happy to wait.

“Hi. It’s Bob. Thank you. To my family and friends who have surrounded me this week. And for the outpouring of love from everyone who expressed concern and care for me. It’s overwhelming. But I feel the love and it means so much,” Odenkirk wrote in his first public statement following the health scare. “I had a small heart attack. But I’m going to be ok thanks to Rosa Estrada and the doctors who knew how to fix the blockage without surgery. Also, AMC and SONY’s support and help throughout this has been next-level. I’m going to take a beat to recover but I’ll be back soon.”

Odenkirk’s Mr. Show buddy, David Cross, is already cracking jokes about his recovery.

Get better, Bob.

(Via Den of Geek)

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Don Jr. Got Schooled For Whining About His Dad Getting No Credit For ‘Obliterating’ ISIS And Establishing A ‘Case Study’ Against Terrorists

No one knows for sure where Donald Trump Jr. gets his energy, but nonetheless, the Energizer Twitter bunny continues to fire shots at those who do not stand with Trump. Afghanistan has been a particularly hot-button issue for Kimberly Guilfoyle’s boyfriend, with Jr. first receiving comeuppance after gloating about the Fall of Kabul on Biden’s watch. And the eldest Trump son appears to completely disregard that his dad did the botched dealmaking for “peace” that ultimately wasn’t honored here. Don Jr. also attempted to compare his dad to Batman while suggesting that his Trump would swoop in and save Afghan civilians (and U.S. citizens stuck in the fray) from the Taliban, which is simply bizarre.

What’s the most vocal member of the Trump family (and that’s saying something) got to say today about Trump and terrorist groups? He’s whining about his dad not getting enough credit for supposedly wiping ISIS off the map. Yep, he went there.

“Trump doesn’t get one-millionth the credit he deserves for obliterating ISIS,” Don Jr. tweeted. “[W]hen it was a case study in what we should be doing: kill the terrorists, don’t try to nation build and launch forever wars, defend the homeland. America First.”

At least he didn’t throw in a weird detail about how much he misses his dad?

Well, this tweet isn’t sitting well for Don Jr. Not only are people wondering if “The Former Guy” (his dad) has maybe snatched his kid’s phone and is tweeting through his account, but clearly, ISIS has not been “obliterated” at all. In fact, some argue that Trump’s moves may have helped ISIS flourish.

It’s worth noting, as mentioned by one of the above tweets, that Lindsey Graham previously pushed back (hard) at Trump’s claim he’d eliminated ISIS. Don Jr. has already given up on the subject, however, so that he can bash Australia for its COVID policies.

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Tucker Carlson Continued His COVID Cartoon Villainy By Praising People Using Fake Vaccination Cards As ‘Decent, Law-Abiding Americans’

On Tuesday, Manhattan District Attorney Cy Vance Jr. charged 15 people—many of them hospital and nursing home workers—with purchasing fake COVID vaccination cards via Instagram. And Tucker Carlson is shocked and appalled that anyone would dare treat these “law-abiding Americans” (his words) who just broke the law with breaking the law.

At this point, anything that comes out of Carlson’s propaganda-filled mouth sounds a bit like whatever Charlie Brown’s teacher was saying: Wah, wah, wah. But Mediaite reports, Carlson is not just defending people who paid money to some stranger they found on Instagram to fake getting a vaccine that is so far our only defense against what feels like a never-ending pandemic versus actually getting the jab, he’s celebrating them. But if these same people are so strong in their anti-vaxx positions, wouldn’t the braver tack be standing up to the order and accepting the consequences that come with that? Of course, disingenuous convictions are something Carlson is all-too-familiar with, which is why it’s hardly surprising that he’s siding with Team Fake Vaxx here, and making it sound like Vance is dragging sweet ol’ grandmas from their homes and locking them up for forgetting to send your $5 birthday check.

“Vance has just charged 13 Americans with felonies for buying fake vaccination cards. Several of the ‘suspects,’ according to the prosecutors, were healthcare workers who’ve been told by the state they’ll be fired unless they get the shot. So politicians telling doctors and nurses what medicine to take. That’s exactly what they told us they were against for decades. Again, these are healthcare workers; they know the science of COVID far better than politicians, governors, prosecutors. Now, in good conscience, they’ve risked their careers to preserve their right to bodily autonomy and now they’re in jail for that.”

It’s convenient that Carlson, who once claimed that Dr. Anthony Fauci “created COVID,” is suddenly siding with science and medical experts. Despite the fact that we don’t really know what jobs these people held; The Hill noted that authorities “believe each of the customers works in front-line and essential services, including hospitals and nursing homes,” a broad description that includes food service personnel.

It’s also worth noting that Carlson spent the earlier part of this week mocking the idea of “my body, my choice,” so his faux outrage over “bodily autonomy” is moot.

Still, Carlson refused to acknowledge that there was anything wrong or illegal about a person with the ability to access and alter an individual’s medical file being paid to do just that, and enter false information about a patient.

Buying a fake vaccination card is not a, quote, “serious crime.” It’s not even close to a serious crime. Buying a fake vaccination card is an act of desperation by decent, law-abiding Americans who have been forced into a corner by tyrants. You know what’s a serious crime? Forcing Americans to take drugs they don’t need or want. That’s a very serious crime. And let’s hope, in the end, someone is punished for it, severely.

And the world spins madly on.

(Via Mediaite)

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Fans Think Drake Slams Kanye West On The ‘Certified Lover Boy’ Song ‘7am On Bridle Path’

It was reported recently that Kanye West was ready to fire back at Drake if Drake dissed him on his new album, Certified Lover Boy. Well, the album is out now, and it appears West may have some feuding to do, as fans think Drake addresses him on “7am On Bridle Path.”

First, there’s this lyric:

“You over there in denial, we not neck and neck
It’s been a lot of years since we seen you comin’ correct
Man, f*ck a ‘Respectfully,’ I just want my respect
They tried to label me mean, I say what I mean
People that could’ve stayed on the team
They played in-between.”

If those lines are about West, the first two could be interpreted as Drake alleging that West has fallen off in terms of the quality of his musical output. Furthermore, “Respectfully” may be a reference to Justin Laboy (aka Respectfully Justin), whose name popped up during the Donda rollout.

The song later continues:

“Give that address to your driver, make it your destination
‘Stead of just a post out of desperation
This me reachin’ the deepest state of my meditation
While you over there tryna impress the nation
Mind’s runnin’ wild with the speculation.”

The “address” line is an apparent reference to when West recently shared Drake’s address on Instagram. Bridle Path, by the way, is the name of the Toronto neighborhood where Drake lives.

Drake then seems to address his and West’s repeated reconciliations over the years and how their cease fires haven’t lasted for long: “Why the f*ck we peacemakin’, doin’ the explanations / If we just gon’ be right back in that b*tch without hesitation?”

Listen to “7am On Bridle Path” above and check out some reactions to the song below.

Certified Lover Boy is out now via OVO Sound/Republic. Get it here.

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People Are Wondering Why Pro-Choice Tomi Lahren Is Being Conspicuously Silent About Texas’ Abortion Ban

Tomi Lahren is one of the biggest names at Fox News with 1.6 million followers on Twitter and another 1.9 million on Instagram. She’s usually quick to weigh in on every politicized topic, whether it’s COVID-19 or the Left canceling, uh, apple pie (?), but she has kept conspicuously silent on Texas effectively banning abortions after six weeks.

Lahren is one of the few conservative commenters to appear regularly on Fox News who is pro-choice, as she revealed on The View in 2017. “You know what? I’m for limited government, so stay out of my guns, and you can stay out of my body as well,” she said. In 2019, in response to Alabama’s restrictive abortion laws, she also tweeted, “I will be attacked by fellow conservatives for saying this but so be it, this Alabama abortion ban is too restrictive. It doesn’t save life, it simply forces women into more dangerous methods, other states or countries. You don’t encourage life via blanket government mandate!”

Roe v. Wade is in danger of being effectively overturned following the Supreme Court’s decision, but Lahren hasn’t said a thing. She’s been busy tweeting about the border, Afghanistan, and referring to masks as “face diapers,” but people are waiting for her to speak out against what’s happening in Texas. “Would love to hear your take on the new Texas abortion bill, especially since you’re pro-choice,” reads one tweet, while another wonders, “Hey Tomi? You are pro choice yet you haven’t said a word about the draconian laws in Texas. Sounds like you are righteously indignant when it suits you…”

Here’s more: