Lil Uzi Vert’s been promoting his new project The Pink Tape for the past few weeks, first promising to release it by Halloween then delaying it to make sure “it won’t suck.” Today, he gave fans the first taste of how the tape will sound, sharing the deceptively upbeat single “Demon High.” Employing a Pro Logic-produced, ’80s New Wave-inspired beat, Uzi dances his cares away as he laments a lost love, expressing his distrust for women. A more traditional rap verse on the song’s bridge finds Uzi coming out of his funk to do a little boasting before lapsing back into his insecurities.
Ever since dropping his double album Eternal Atake in 2020, Uzi’s been more active than ever, both musically and socially. Throughout the year, he’s popped up songs from Internet Money (“His & Hers“), the late Juice WRLD (“Lucid Dreams (Remix)“), Trippie Redd (“Holy Smokes“), Isaiah Rashad (“From The Garden“), and Meek Mill (“Blue Notes 2“). Meanwhile, Uzi’s social calendar has been pretty full as well; in addition to being booked at this weekend’s Rolling Loud, he also went to a friend’s wedding, gifting the happy couple with stacks of cash.
Listen to “Demon High” above.
Lil Uzi Vert is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.
In 2019, Krysty Wilson-Cairns co-wrote 1917with Sam Mendes (who directed), a sprawling World War I movie that all takes place in “one take” (with the help of movie magic). It was her first credited feature film screenplay, and the film would go on to be nominated for ten Academy Awards, including a nomination of her own for the screenplay.
For her second film,Last Night in Soho, from the outside looking in, it does look like a similar situation. This time she co-wrote the script with another revered director, Edgar Wright. And Wilson-Cairns admits there are some similarities to the two collaborations, mainly that she genuinely likes both writing partners and would never work with anyone she wouldn’t go to dinner with. (This seems like good advice in general.)
Last Night in Soho is a tough movie to talk about because the filmmakers are a bit concerned about spoilers. Wilson-Cairns describes it as a horror movie, and that’s at least partially true, but there’s a lot more going on that we can’t really get into, but we do get close to broaching some of the topics.
In Last Night in Soho, Ellie (Thomasin McKenzie) is moving to London to study to become a fashion designer. Low on money, she takes whatever apartment she can get and winds up renting a room from a mysterious woman (Diana Rigg, in her final role) who has a lot of rules about this room, which includes strict rules about both refunds and men. Ellie starts seeing visions of Sandie (Anya Taylor-Joy) a young singer trying to make it in London in the 1960s. Lines start to get blurred between who is Sandie and who is Ellie, as the movie takes a more and more sinister tone.
It’s interesting Wilson-Cairns describes Last Night in Soho as a Trojan Horse. She’s not wrong, at least in that if people are expecting a more typical Edgar Wright movie, that’s not exactly what they are going to get.
How similar was the collaboration with Edgar as to working with Sam Mendes on 1917? From the outside looking in, you’re co-writing a script with two very popular directors.
Well, with Sam, we did the story together. With Edgar, he very much had the story. He had the story ten years before we’d ever even met. But there’s a lot of similarities. I mean, working with a director, especially of that ilk, is always very welcomed and very good fun, because they know exactly what they want. And the one thing about Sam and Edgar is none of them are that precious. And they’re quite happy to hear your ideas and be involved. They really love to collaborate. And I think that they share that lovely quality is that they’re both fantastic collaborators and they’re both welcome your input and want to listen to you.
Is that something you’re worried about? If they would listen to you or not?
No, not really. I mean, with Sam, 1917 was our third project together. So we had a long working relationship and a lovely friendship. And the same with Edgar. I mean, I was friends with Edgar for about nine months before he ever asked to work together. So I knew them both as humans first, as opposed to just wonderful kind of magnificent authors. I knew them as people. And so I knew what I was getting into. And I very much try not to work with people that I think won’t listen to me. Call me crazy!
It almost sounds like you have a vetting process? Because I’m sure a lot of people do find themselves in situations where they think someone’s going to listen to them and that doesn’t happen.
Yeah, I have a really good vetting process. It’s my gut. And also, I just have a rule that I wouldn’t work with anyone that I wouldn’t go to dinner with.
That’s usually a good rule for life in general.
It’s a very subtle but important role that you can incorporate into your daily life.
So Edgar has had this idea in mind for some time. So how do you get in there and say, “Here’s what we need to do”?
He told me the story. And when you tell someone the story, it’s like, “This happens and this happens, and this happens.” So there’s loads to do. There’s loads to kind of build on. You need to create characters. You need to create structure, create elements. And then also, even within the story, you give notes. So originally the ’60s scenes were all going to be silent, just musical. One of the very first things I said to Edgar was, “I think we need to hear Sandy’s speech. She needs to be a fully formed character.” If Ellie’s going to fall in love with her and we want the audience to fall in love with her, I need to hear talk. And Edgar was like, “Of course. Let’s do it.”
Oh, that’s interesting. Based on that, obviously, the main two characters we’re following are women. Was there anything you were adament did not work?
No. I mean, the one thing I’ll say about Edgar, and the same with Sam in fact, is they’re both very empathetic humans and understand people’s experiences. Both of them have teams of producers that are mainly female. And so, I suppose I wasn’t used because I have a vagina, for lack of a better term. I think I was used because I’m quite a good writer and I could bring my own experience to it. I lived in Soho above a strip club. I worked in a bar in Soho. I came to London from somewhere outside of London, and I felt lost, and I felt adrift. And I studied there at film school. And it was a lot like fashion school. So it’s more about those shared experiences and your skill as opposed to like, you know what it’s like to be a woman.
Right, Edgar is empathetic. But, what you said, I don’t think anyone thinks that. But at the same time, if I’m him, with this kind of story, I want someone with a little more shared experiences from that side of things to look at this as well.
No, no. I understand. I mean, I think really, I suppose the time where that really came into play was – what it’s like to be a young woman in London – in the taxi driver scene, for instance, is everything’s been said to me in the back of taxis and worse. One of the times we were writing a scene and he said, “What’s the worst pickup line that’s ever been said to you?” And that’s the line in the film. So it’s like those kinds of tangential experiences that you can then be like, “Oh, that’s quite a funny, I’ll cannibalize my life and put that sort of stuff in.”
And what’s tough about this movie, there are themes I’d love to get into with you. But it’s really hard to do without…
Spoiling the movie.
Right. So the reason I ask questions like that, it’s not because the two main characters are women. It’s because there are some pretty heavy themes by the end of this movie. And I know we can’t get into them without ruining it for everyone, but it’s not just a movie about someone moving to London and going on some adventures. It gets really heavy.
Well, I mean, it is a horror film. And I think good horror, you should write about something that truly scares you. And toxic masculinity, the way women are treated, you only have to look at the news in the UK and over here to see that there are huge issues. And that truly scares me. And that was already in the story when I came to it. But getting to crystallize that, getting to work in that strand and with that spine, I think was great. I also think it’s really important that genre does lean into these kinds of things. A lot of people maybe wouldn’t go and see a drama about those topics. But a lot will go and see a horror or psychological thriller about those subjects. And it’s almost like a Trojan horse thing.
That’s interesting you said Trojan horse. In the marketing we’re seeing a lot of pretty lights and fantastical imagery. And the fact Edgar’s involved, if I don’t know any better, I’d probably assume it’s not what it actually is. Trojan horse does make it sound sinister…
It’s a sinister film, you know?
It is.
I mean, the whole point of like the thematic build from nostalgia is this idea of like, oh, the good old days. So, I’d love to live in that time. Or I’d love to visit there. I’d love to experience what it was like in the ’60s, ’70s and ’80s. You name it, everybody’s got a decade. They’re like, “Oh, that’s when I should have been born. And that’s how I should have lived.” And I think that nostalgia can be used as a weapon against you. “The good old days,” was said a lot before people voted for Brexit. “The good old days,” was said a lot before people voting…
For Trump.
Yeah.
It was literally his slogan.
I think having nostalgia just be nostalgia and just be this thing, “Oh, rose-tinted glasses. I’d love to go to the ’60s. Women had mini skirts and cool boots and the music was great.” And then when you actually do research, when you actually dig onto the surface of it, you realize, no, it wasn’t good at all. There’s so many problems, so many issues. And catalyzing that through women, what it was like to be a young female in the ’60s wasn’t all rosy at all. And that’s what this film leans into. And I think the really horrific part of it is that a lot of the issues that women facing in the ’60s, they still face today. And it’s partly because people don’t talk about it or people don’t think about it. And only in the last ten years have we had any sort of reckoning on that. And I think this film very much builds on that idea of like, hey, don’t look back with your rose-tinted glasses. Look back with your eyes open. And all the time you want to spend in the past, because you think it was great, actually concentrate on the future and build a better world.
Do you want to direct next?
I mean, I love what I do. I love collaborating. I love the people that I work with. I think if the right project came along and I felt that I really had a version and I could really bring something different then, yeah, absolutely. But I love not having to get up before 10:00 AM and only writing.
That’s the thing. If you’re a director, you’re going to get up before 10:00 AM.
Really early. Late nights. Not for me.
As someone who writes on the internet for a living, I understand what you are saying. So I’m on your side on that.
Thank you. I hope you understand it’s crucial that anything that I do in the future probably have night shoots.
So that’s the big scoop, if you direct a movie, there will be a lot of scenes at night.
Ed Sheeran’s long-awaited fourth studio album, =, is out now, and to mark the occasion, he has dropped a new video for album highlight “Overpass Graffiti.” It’s a propulsive and upbeat tune that sounds like it was made for kicking off a road trip playlist.
Sheeran himself seems to get that, as the new video sees Sheeran embark on a wild adventure. In the clip, he gets separated from his tour bus. So, he hitches a bunch of different rides and finds himself doing all sorts of different things, like exploring a swimming hole, attending a trippy concert, and getting on the back of a motorcycle.
Sheeran previously told Apple Music of the song, “The song’s about a breakup that was years ago. You still hold on to the memory of that and it will never fade, like graffiti on the overpass. Originally, this song was a power ballad, it was very slow. Then [producer Fred Again] said, ‘Have you ever thought about making it double time?’ It gave it new life.”
Following Mark Zuckerberg‘s bizarre video announcement that Facebook (the company not the actual site) would be changing its name to Meta as its pivots towards taking over the “metaverse,” the reactions started pouring in, but no one could’ve possibly predicted the god-level trolling that came from The Matrix Resurrections.
In a new tweet simply captioned #Meta, The Matrix Resurrections revealed a new poster featuring the iconic red and blue pills from the first movie. However, it’s the message that above those pills that is blowing people’s minds: “Now, based on reveal events.”
The poster is an obvious and expertly timed dig at Zuckerberg’s presentation where he attempted to tout Meta as a revolutionary step forward in the augmented reality sphere. “Today we’re seen as a social media company,” Zuckerberg said during the Thursday announcement. “But in our DNA, we are a company that builds technology to connect people. And the metaverse is the next frontier just like social networking was when we got started.”
Considering The Matrix movies are based on a virtual reality that has enslaved humanity, it makes sense that the heavily-anticipated fourth installment would get in on the trolling, and people freaking loved it.
While it might not be here in time for Halloween, Apple TV+ is hard at work on their next installment of something full of tragedy and terror. Earlier today, the streaming service shared the teaser trailer for season three of their ongoing series Servant, a psychological horror that follows a grieving family and a mysterious young nanny. The eerie first footage showcases the horrors in store for the Turners (and their psychologically tormented hired help) as they attempt to go back to being “a normal family” with seemingly not much luck. The show is slated to return to Apple TV+ January 21, 2022, with new episodes debuting every Friday following.
After gaining notice due to horror legend M. Night Shyamalan’s (Old, The Village, The Sixth Sense) name attached to the project as its executive producer and co-director,Servant premiered on Apple TV+ on November 28, 2019 and was met with mostly positive reviews. The show follows a wealthy, East Coast couple, Dorothy and Sean Turner, who are in mourning following the sudden loss of their newborn child. To help cope with the death, the couple undergoes transitory object therapy using a lifelike doll of their son, however Dorothy (Lauren Ambrose) soon believes the doll to be her real child, going so far as to hire a nanny (Nell Tiger Free) to help her take care of the “child.” Unfortunately, things only spiral deeper into darkness upon the arrival of the nanny, leaving Sean (Toby Kebbell) and Dorothy’s brother Julian (Rupert Grint) left trying to make sense of things.
In addition to Ambrose, Tiger Free, Kebbell, and Grint, Tony Revolori, Boris McGiver, Jerrika Hinton, Todd Waring, and recent addition Sunita Mani all star in the series. Servant’s season three’s directors include Shyamalan, Ishana Night Shyamalan, Carlo Mirabella-Davis, Dylan Holmes, Celine Held & Logan George, Kitty Green, and Veronika Franz and Severin Fiala. Servant is the second television series for Shyamalan, who previously worked on Fox’s series Wayward Pines. The director’s most recent film, Old, hit theaters earlier this year.
Miami rap duo City Girls is already well-known for their raunchy rhymes, but on Yung Miami’s new solo single “Rap Freaks,” she pulls out all the stops. Taking a page from Lil Kim’s “Dreams” and Nicki Minaj’s “Barbie Dreams,” Miami names names, calling out all her industry crushes. She includes Megan Thee Stallion, Lil Durk (and his partner India Royale), Future, Meek Mill, Moneybagg Yo, 50 Cent, Rod Wave, and her rumored beau Diddy. The song is accompanied by a BDSM-themed, borderline-NSFW music video featuring Miami doing the splits on a ceiling swing clad in black leather with a matching mask.
Both City Girls members, JT and Miami, have been branching out lately, contributing solo verses to new projects from their peers in the rap game. Miami’s latest effort was a feature on Migos member Quavo’s solo single, “Strub Tha Ground.” Its video, which reproduced legendary Atlanta festival Freaknik, found the two getting cozy, making Quavo’s absence from her “Rap Freaks” verse notable. Meanwhile, JT’s new solo verse went to Summer Walker’s “Ex For A Reason” single; JT also appeared in the Atlanta singer’s album promo trailer. The solo work hasn’t, however, stopped City Girls from continuing to collaborate; their summer single “Twerkulator” seemed to indicate that they have more group work coming soon.
The Rundown is a weekly column that highlights some of the biggest, weirdest, and most notable events of the week in entertainment. The number of items could vary, as could the subject matter. It will not always make a ton of sense. Some items might not even be about entertainment, to be honest, or from this week. The important thing is that it’s Friday, and we are here to have some fun.
ITEM NUMBER ONE — A near-perfect half-hour of television, every time
What We Do in the Shadows ended its third season this week. I won’t get too deep into the weeds with spoilers, especially not from the finale, at least not here in what amounts to a general interest round-up of a column. But I will gladly discuss it with you if you call me on the phone or accost me on the street this weekend. The whole season was just about perfect, again, for the third straight time. It’s all so fun and devoted to being just as silly as you could ever want, jokes for the sake of jokes, preposterous visual gags, all of it. We discussed it just the other week, but at one point a fitness-obsessed vampire was incapacitated with a hula hoop. It’s a good show.
In fact… yeah, screw it. Let’s do this. Try to name one show that’s better than What We Do in the Shadows right now. I’ve already made the case that it’s the funniest show on television, but let’s just go ahead and zoom out to television writ large. Succession? Great show. Love it dearly. Would very much like to see Matt Berry from Shadows pop up there and do… anything. And seeing Cousin Greg interact with a vampire would be a blast. But no. No, I’m sorry. I’ll give you “as good as,” like a tie, but I can’t give you “better.” Not today. Not after, out of nowhere, Matt Berry said this line of dialogue with his perfect voice.
FX
It’s such a treat, a full-on gift, to be watching a show hit on all cylinders like this. The premise alone is delightful, adapted from the movie of the same name: Four vampires live in present-day Staten Island and attempt to adapt to the modern world while filming a documentary about it. Kind of like if The Office was about undead horny mythical monsters who cussed a lot. None of this does any of it justice. Again, it’s all just so powerfully silly, the goofiest twists you’ve even seen popping out of nowhere for what seems like no reason at all. You’ve all seen at least the screencap of Matt Berry’s character, Laszlo, on the run as Jackie Daytona, Regular Human Bartender, right? This one…
FX
But do you remember why he was on the run? Because that might be even funnier: He was fleeing a rival vampire — played by Mark Hamill! — because he had skipped out on a month’s rent for a beach house in San Diego. Like, think about that. Think about how that was the event that set the whole nutso chain of events in motion. Go ahead and watch all the serious dramas you want. Watch all the comedies with surprising amounts of heart. Do whatever you like with your time. But do not come in here and try to tell me they’re better than this show. We will get in a whole fight. Hula hoops might be involved.
And this is before the shoutlaugh-inducing twists the show dropped in the closing moments of the finale. I know I said I won’t spoil it. Not yet, at least. But two things happened that will turn the entire show on its head going into next season and I am so excited about both of them that I might start vibrating at a fast enough clip that I start humming.
Please watch it as soon as you can, if you haven’t. Talk to me about it on the sidewalk. Maybe not if I look busy. But even then, I mean, if you have a coffee and a donut to spare, I can always make time. Or just shout “UNITED DING-DONG, MORE LIKE” from across the street and let us both go the rest of our days with that little moment bouncing around our heads.
United Ding-dong. Just beautiful.
ITEM NUMBER TWO — What if I start going everywhere with a parasol?
HBO
There’s plenty to take away from the first installment of the Dune universe. (Duniverse.) (Sorryyyy.) There were the massive sandworms and the creepy grumblewhisper nuns and the Action Chalamet of it all. There was a rad warrior named Duncan Idaho who was played by Jason Momoa and fought with swords even though we were far enough into the future that it feels like he should have had lasers. At least one laser. But there was also this guy and his parasol.
You don’t see a lot of dudes with parasols these days. I’m not sure if you ever did. That’s kind of a shame. This guy looks like he loves it. It looks like it’s making him so happy, the parasol of it all. I’ve been thinking about it a lot this week. Pretty much ever since I saw it in the movie. I might have paused it right smack in the middle to take this screenshot. It’s one advantage that streaming has over the theater experience. Most projectionists frown on people shouting “HEY GO BACK AND FREEZE IT ON THE PARASOL GUY” in the middle of the movie. It’s a shame, really.
All of it got me thinking, though… what if I started carrying a parasol? Like, what if that became my thing? Could I even pull it off? Do I have the right vibe for a parasol? I lean no, if only because I have a reputation for being a goof and people would think I was doing it as a bit. I suppose I could always try it out once and see what the reaction is and then play it off like it was a bit if people aren’t feeling it. That’s one option.
There’s also the complicating factor where I use a wheelchair. I probably couldn’t even hold it while I moved around, because I need to use my good hand for the joystick. Maybe I could attach it to the back and just drive around with the parasol over my head? But that kind of defeats the purpose of carrying a cool little parasol. I might as well just use a golf umbrella then. Really a lot of angles to look at here, with the whole parasol business.
I bet you thought I was kidding when I said I’ve been thinking about it all week. I would never lie to you.
ITEM NUMBER THREE — Will Ferrell gets it
Paramount Pictures
There’s a new profile of Will Ferrell over at The Hollywood Reporter. You should read it. It’s good and informative and full of cool little tidbits about his career, like the thing where he thought he’d be finished after Elf. But you can read all about that in the profile. I want to talk about Will Ferrell talking about his approach to comedy.
I want to talk about this.
You won’t see him pursuing straight-up Oscar bait, or using his work to make pointed political statements, even if the winds of comedy have blown in that direction. And while he’s not going to throw shade on projects that set out to say something — “because those are great,” he says, “and more than needed” — he wants to laugh at unabashed silliness again, and he’s hopeful you do, too.
And this…
“There’s just so much going on in the world, and sometimes it’s nice to turn your brain off,” says Ferrell, who’s reminded of one of his heroes, Steve Martin, who has talked about comedy in the 1970s this way. “Coming out of the ’60s, which were so contentious, Steve was like, ‘Everyone’s doing message comedy, and I just want to walk out with an arrow shooting through my head,’ and that’s kind of how I feel right now.”
… and this, too, where he discusses his split with his longtime production partner Adam McKay.
“Adam was like, ‘I want to do this, and this, and this’; he wanted growth and a sphere of influence, and I was just like, ‘I don’t know, that sounds like a lot that I have to keep track of,’ ” says Ferrell, discussing the breakup publicly for the first time. “To me, the potential of seeing a billboard, and being like: ‘Oh, we’re producing that?’ I don’t know. … At the end of the day, we just have different amounts of bandwidth.”
I dig this. I like that Will Ferrell just wants to make stuff that is cool and funny and silly. I like that he’s not out here trying to jam his square peg into a round hole. I like that he’s looking around at the rest of the scene and being like, “Hmm, actually I’d just like to make weirdo one-off beer commercials and do movies entirely in Spanish.” I like it for a lot of reasons, too, starting with the thing where I’m wired in a similar way, to skew goofy in the face of serious business, and moving on to the thing where there’s room for all kinds of stuff, from sharp-edged satire like Succession to nuts-walloping relentlessness of Jackass.
It’s good. Good for Will Ferrell. I hope he keeps making crazy stuff for decades up to and including another Anchorman movie, maybe with Walton Goggins in it as another rival anchor. I would like that. A little treat for Brian.
ITEM NUMBER FOUR — Something to consider in all of this… Luzz Bightyear
So here’s what I’ve been able to figure out so far:
This is the trailer for an upgrade coming Pixar movie titled Lightyear
Lightyear is a kind of Toy Story prequel about a quote-unquote real astronaut named Buzz Lightyear who the toy in the later movie is based on
I think I love it
I think I love it for three main reasons, and yes, let’s go right back to the bullet points again for those
We are far enough down the Existing Intellectual Property path at this point that we might need to start accepting it and just taking the best we can get, and “a prequel based on the fictional real person who inspired the fictional talking doll in a cartoon from 25 years ago” is nothing if it is not needlessly chaotic and weird, which I appreciate
I hope it inspires people to go ahead and get wild as hell with their own intellectual property instead of just rolling out, like, another version of the other thing but now everyone has smartphones or whatever
I might actually be willing to watch a feature-length movie where the people involved just try to explain the premise to people
“‘Set in the world of Toy Story’ is kind of weird. Another way to get at it, it’s a straightforward sci-fi action film about the Buzz Lightyear character,” MacLane, who co-directed Finding Dory and multiple Toy Story shorts for Pixar, tells EW over Zoom. “In the Toy Story universe, it would be like a movie that maybe Andy would have seen, that would have made him want a Buzz Lightyear figure.”
“The movie doesn’t end and then you see Andy eating popcorn,” the filmmaker clarifies. “This is its own thing… This is standalone. It’s the Buzz Lightyear movie. It’s that character but as the space ranger, not as the toy.”
And look at Chris Evans, who voices this real/fake historical version of Buzz, try to explain it in a tweet from last year when it was announced.
It’s incredible. I should note here that I’m not poking fun about all this. I kid because I respect the struggle. I tried to explain the concept of this movie to someone in person, out loud, after watching the trailer, and I pretty much sputtered out halfway through like a car running out of gas. Try it yourself. Don’t practice or rehearse. DO NOT CHEAT. Just call someone into the room or on the phone and try to explain what is happening in Lightyear. See how that goes.
We desperately need more films like this. I’m thriving on the awkwardness.
ITEM NUMBER FIVE — I have terrific news about Harrison Ford’s missing credit card
lucasfilm
Terrific news, ladies and gentlemen: Harrison Ford’s credit card has been recovered. Maybe you didn’t even know it was missing. That would be fine considering it’s still unclear if Harrison Ford even knew it was missing. But I’m getting ahead of the story again.
We go to Sicily, where Harrison Ford has been filming the next installment in the Indiana Jones franchise. Harrison Ford drops his credit card. A German tourist picks it up…
The tourist found a credit card with Ford’s name emblazoned on it Thursday, and turned it in to the local police station in the beach town of Mondello. Officers tracked the actor down and returned the card, police said. It wasn’t clear if the actor was aware that the card had been missing.
Italian media published a photo of the smiling actor wearing a T-shirt and what appears to be bathing trunks, holding the card up for the camera alongside two officers and the local commander.
Okay, here’s what I need you to do. Close your eyes. Not now. After this paragraph. Clear out your brain as best you can. Take a broom to the scattered loose thoughts in there and brush them straight out your ear. And then get the best mental image you can conjure up of a German tourist in a Sicilian police station trying to explain — in German, to Italians — why he is handing them a credit card that belongs to the world-famous Hollywood icon Harrison Ford. Imagine being a fly on that wall, or maybe an Italian pickpocket just sitting there in handcuffs on a bench watching it all unfold. Really get the whole vibe of that scene, the multiple layers of confusion happening. Because I’ve been picturing it a lot and, buddy, it is a hoot.
It’s amazing I’ve gotten anything done this week between and the parasol thing.
READER MAIL
If you have questions about television, movies, food, local news, weather, or whatever you want, shoot them to me on Twitter or at [email protected] (put “RUNDOWN” in the subject line). I am the first writer to ever answer reader mail in a column. Do not look up this last part.
From Daniel:
When you recommend a show or write a review I almost always end up watching it. So I’m a bit perplexed why you have yet to write anything about Wu-Tang: An American Saga which I think is the best show on TV right now. One of the many reasons I think this show is so good is that you don’t even need to know anything about the Wu-Tang Clan to enjoy it. I barely knew anything about the group other than the songs and I now find myself completely engrossed in the story and the characters. A couple of episodes ago they did a remake of the final scene from John Woo’s The Killer with Raekwon and Ghostface in the starring roles. If that doesn’t convince you to write a review, nothing will.
They did what now?
Well, this certainly changes my plans for the weekend. I’ll be honest: I hadn’t started watching the show because I assumed it was just like a straightforward biography. But if… if we’re doing this… then…
Yes, I will watch this show. This was a good email. Please never hesitate to reach out if you see a show in which semi-fictional versions of famous rappers recreate violent scenes from John Woo movies. This goes for all of you.
Somebody who ain’t nothin’ but a hound dog has made off with an Elvis Presley bust from a Central Illinois saloon.
Back to the bullet points, for clarity:
ELVIS HEIST
I am so proud of whoever slipped the hound dog reference into the first sentence of this story
I am also livid that they didn’t go with “Suspicious Minds” instead
Moving on.
“To walk off with that took some guts,” said Jimmy Spears, the bar’s owner for 39 years. He said the heist can’t have taken much planning or work since he never bothered to bolt down something that he never thought anyone would want to steal.
Here’s the thing about the song “Suspicious Minds”: It is a perfect karaoke song. You don’t even need a good voice to sing it. You just have to do like a C/C+ Elvis impression and give it a little charisma. If you play your cards right, you can get the rest of the crowd to start singing the backing vocals, the various cascading ooooos and the “with Suspicious Minds” in the chorus that the choir ladies do. Listen to me on this. I have very few legitimately good ideas. This is one of them.
But we’re getting off track.
Spears said nobody has claimed responsibility or sent a ransom note. And he didn’t call the police because he didn’t want to bother officers who might have something better to do. Spears said his niece brought the bust about 15 years ago at a garage sale for $20.
Let me tell you one thing: Right now, I am on the side of Jimmy the Bar Owner. I want him to get his Elvis statue back. He seems like a good dude. But…
But if the thieves had sent a ransom note for a $20 Elvis bust…
I mean…
No jury would convict them. At least not one I’m on. That one gets filed under the writ of Boys Will Be Boys. Smash the gavel. Case closed.
But even though Spears isn’t “some big Elvis fan,” the bust has enough sentimental value that when its nose came off when a customer accidentally knocked it to the floor, he let a regular give Elvis a nose job with a little glue and paint.
Sorry, I have “Suspicious Minds” in my head now. None of the words in this paragraph even registered. Let me try to pull it together. Give me a second.
Now, Jimmy’s wants Elvis back badly enough to post this on the bar’s Facebook page:
“Elvis has left the building. Please bring him back whoever took him. No questions asked.”
WE CAN’T GO ON TOGETHER
WITH SUSPICIOUS MINDS
[points microphone towards disinterested crowd for the backup vocal part]
…
[gets no reaction]
…
Ahhhh, come on. I thought we had a thing going here.
Jamie Lee Curtis is a horror movie legend for her involvement with the Halloween franchise. Since playing Laurie Strode in John Carpenter’s 1978 classic, she’s reprised the roles in multiple films, including 1998’s Halloween H20 and this year’s Halloween Kills. Curtis must be in the mood for horror movie reboots and remakes because she’s gunning for a role in director David Gordon Green’s The Exorcist trilogy.
“Maybe I should be the voice of the devil like Mercedes McCambridge,” she told Entertainment Weekly (McCambridge voiced Pazuzu in 1973’s The Exorcist). “You see, if David gives me a part in the new Exorcist trilogy as the voice of the devil, then it is a full-circle return for me, in a meta way. That would blow people’s minds.”
Curtis hasn’t told Green about wanting to join Ellen Burstyn and Leslie Odom Jr. in the trilogy yet, but “I’ll have to get her to audition for that one. You know, she did the crying baby for the last Halloween movie, so she’s a talented voice actor as well.”
Congrauations to Jamie Lee Curtis for cornering the market on horror movies. The Exorcist would be a nice addition to her portfolio of the Halloween franchise, The Fog, Terror Train, Prom Night, and her scariest movie of all, Freaky Friday. “Swapping bodies with your teenage daughter” is way more terrifying than a knife-wielding maniac.
After a barrage of bye weeks in Week 7, the NFL has a fuller slate available for Week 8. As such, there are more handicapping opportunities on the board, and that is Christmas-like for observers. In this space, Week 7 was a success with a winning record, and it has been a strong season to this point. There is always more work to do, though, and that means five more selections for Week 8.
Before we get to the offerings, let’s take stock.
Last Week: 3-2
2021 Season: 20-14-1
Come get these winners.
New York Jets (+10.5) over Cincinnati Bengals
Not long ago, the Bengals were favored by 3.5 points in this game. Then, Cincinnati got hot and New York lost its quarterback. As such, the Bengals are now laying more than 10 points on the road. I do understand why, with the Jets potentially imploding on offense, but this is an auto-spot for us.
Pittsburgh Steelers and Cleveland Browns UNDER 21 points in the first half
This might be a true rock fight, at least early in the game. Pittsburgh has the league’s slowest pace in the first half, and Cleveland isn’t much faster, ranking solidly below the league average in the same stat. The Steelers also have a trustworthy defense, and the Browns are fully capable of slowing Pittsburgh’s uneven offense. We’ll need some punts and field goals.
Indianapolis Colts (-1.5) over Tennessee Titans
This is a classic situation. Everyone is buying Tennessee now after an impressive start. Indianapolis is still flying under the radar. These teams are pretty even in my view, and I’ll take the tiny favorite at home alongside the sharp guys.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers and New Orleans Saints UNDER 50 points
This number is trending down for a reason. Tampa Bay’s offense is definitely scary, but the Bucs are excellent in stopping the run. The threat to this over is probably a big-time performance from Jameis Winston, either in throwing touchdowns or game-changing interceptions. We’ll fade those outcomes.
Minnesota Vikings (-2.5) over Dallas Cowboys
The Cowboys are 5-1, coming off a bye, and getting points? I’m sure that is going to flummox many people, and this is a primetime spot for the world to jump on Dallas. Unsurprisingly, we’re going the other way. Minnesota is on extra rest in their own right, and Dak Prescott isn’t 100 percent. It’s certainly a contrarian play, but lay the tiny number on a rare team that is non-public favorite.
Before he ever got the chance to set foot on stage for his Rolling Loud set, Fetty Wap was arrested on federal drug charges Thursday afternoon at Citi Field in New York. TMZ reports that the New Jersey rapper was arrested by FBI agents on unspecified charges. NBC New York revealed that the indictment against the rapper is still under seal but that he was one of around six people charged.
Fetty had been largely out of the spotlight after 2015, when his inescapable singles “Trap Queen” and “My Way” dominated the airwaves. Since then, he’s had several run-ins with the police, including a 2017 arrest for drunk driving and a 2019 one for assault. As NBC notes, Fetty has had a rough run in the past year or so, as his brother was killed in New Jersey last year and his four-year-old daughter died earlier this year. He’d just released his new album The Butterfly Effect last week and performed at Rolling Loud in Miami earlier this year, so it seemed that he was bouncing back.
Rolling Stone notes that Fetty Wap — whose real name is William Junior Maxwell II — will be arraigned later today at a Central Islip federal court. Fetty’s absence was noted by fans at Rolling Loud, but apparently remained unexplained for concert-goers.
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(@ScreenSisters_) 
(@DaybedNFT) 
Please bring him back whoever took him. No questions asked.”
