Like many pop stars in recent years, Lady Gaga has been very open about her journey with mental health. Earlier this year, the singer revealed she has struggled with PTSD after suffering a rape when she was 19. At one point, the untreated trauma caused her to cancel a 2018 tour. Gaga now says her trauma was once again triggered more recently — this time while she was on set filming the movie House Of Gucci.
While portraying the film’s main character Patrizia Reggiani, who married and ordered the murder of Gucci’s heir, Gaga took a method approach to acting. She spoke exclusively in an Italian accent for months, both on- and off-camera. But at one point during the filming process, Gaga told Billboard, the line between her own experiences and Patrizia’s began to blur, triggering her past trauma.
Explaining what when down, Gaga said, “It’s a scene where I knock a lit candle across the room, and I remember I gave Salma [Hayek] a heart attack that day. I was falling apart as [Patrizia] fell apart. When I say that I didn’t break character, some of it was not by choice.” She continued: “I took the pain I feel from being attacked when I was a young girl, from feeling left behind by people that I love, from feeling trapped that I can’t go out into a world that I love, I took that pain and I gave it to [Patrizia].”
The singer noted the the film’s director Ridley Scott was concerned for her safety, “Ridley said, ‘I don’t want you traumatizing yourself,’” Gaga recalled. “And I said, ‘I already have. I’ve already been through this anyway. I might as well give it to you.’ And he said, ‘Well, leave it here and don’t do this to yourself anymore.’”
Read Billboard‘s full interview with Gaga here.