Fox News conspiracy theory-pushers Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham, and Brian Kilmeade have been making headlines all week—and not for reasons they’d want to brag about in their holiday newsletter to family members. On Monday night, vice-chair of the Jan. 6 House Select Committee Liz Cheney read aloud from some of the fraught texts all three Fox soldiers sent to Donald Trump’s then-chief of staff Mark Meadows in the midst of the Capitol riots on January 6th, in which they made it clear that Trump needed to put an end to the violence erupting around him.
Seth Meyers certainly had some opinions about the Fox News team’s actions—namely, how despicable it is that they have spent the last year downplaying the events of that day, when they clearly understood the gravity of what was happening. But he was even more fascinated, and partly amused, that Donald Trump Jr. is yet another one of the people who was frantically texting Meadows.
Meyers dedicated Wednesday night’s “A Closer Look” segment to the kerfuffle surrounding the outing of these texts. Yet he couldn’t help but point out how odd it seemed that Don Jr., rather than expressing his concerns to his father directly, opted to reach out to Meadows as the middleman:
“Damn, they have Don Jr.’s text messages to his father’s chief of staff. Which means Don Jr. doesn’t have his father’s own phone number? And if Don Jr. gets relegated to the chief of staff, who does Eric have to go through? Rudy?”
While he was on the topic of douchey sons who are desperate to be loved by their fathers, Meyers couldn’t help but remark that “even Kendall Roy gets to talk face-to-face with Logan.” Which inevitably led to a pretty decent impression of Jeremy Strong at his most broken. (An impression that Meyers once whipped out for Logan Roy himself, Brian Cox, who described it as “incredibly brief.”)
But Meyers, helping to fill the void we’re already feeling from the lack of Succession, wasn’t ready to stop with Kendall. So he found a way to segue his impression of Kendall planning the Capitol riot into what Cousin Greg’s response might which—if it is to be said, so it be, so it is—was pretty spot-on.
You can watch the full clip above; the Succession bit starts just before the 3:00 mark.
In arguably the definitive performance of Michael Cera’s acting career, he played the title role in Scott Pilgrim vs The World, Edgar Wright’s 2010 film adaptation of the classic graphic novel series. Cera’s nerdy boy-next-door aloofness, coupled with his signature sensitivity and adorable mean streak, rendered the Brian Lee O’Malley’s film as much of a cult classic as the graphic novel series was.
When the film dropped, so did Ubisoft’s Scott Pilgrim vs The World: The Game, which quickly became a popular beat’em up RPG favorite. Like the story’s plot, in the game, the band geek Pilgrim, traverses the streets of Toronto attempting to destroy the seven evil ex-boyfriends of the apple of his eye, Ramona Flowers. He did it all set to a soundtrack of 8-bit tunes (or chiptunes, for the uninitiated), composed by New York band Anamaguchi, who have built a cult following themselves both in the music and gaming world. They even released their own game, Capsule Silence XXIV in 2016, for which they composed the soundtrack as well.
Now Anamanaguchi are going on tour playing the entire soundtrack of Scott Pilgrim vs The World: The Game and movie/graphic novel/gaming geeks of the world unite! The first two shows in L.A. and San Francisco sold out, but they’ve since added new stops in those cities, as well as a slew of dates around the country, and of course, in Toronto.
Tickets are on sale now. Get them here and listen to Anamanguchi’s “Scott Pilgrim Anthem” above.
01/22/2022 Los Angeles CA @ El Rey Theatre
01/23/2022 Los Angeles CA @ The Fonda Theatre (Sold Out)
01/28/2022 San Francisco CA @ The Chapel
01/29/2022 San Francisco, CA @ August Hall (Sold Out)
03/31/2022 Atlanta, GA @ The Masquerade
04/02/2022 Orlando, FL @ Plaza LIVE
04/09/2022 Denver, CO @ Meow Wolf
04/20/2022 Chicago, IL @ Bottom Lounge
04/22/2022 Toronto, ON @ Lee’s Palace
04/23/2022 Toronto, ON @ Lee’s Palace
06/02/2022 Brooklyn, NY @ Music Hall of Williamsburg
06/04/2022 Boston, MA @ Big Night Live
Renay Corren of El Paso, Texas died on Saturday at the age of 84, and after reading the obituary written by her son Andy, she won’t be forgotten anytime soon.
Andy, who refers to himself as Renay’s “favorite son, the gay one who writes catty obituaries in his spare time,” should be proud because his mother is now known round the world because of her hilarious obituary.
The obituary opens with one of the most memorable lines ever printed in the obits: “A plus-sized Jewish lady redneck died in El Paso on Saturday.”
This tweet featuring the obituary already has 29,000 likes.
This obit, my god.https://www.fayobserver.com/obituaries/m0028451u00a0u2026
Andy doesn’t have a lot of nice things to say about his deceased mother claiming that, she “lied a lot” and “didn’t cook, she didn’t clean, and she was lousy with money, too.” He goes on to say that a “more disrespectful, trash-reading, talking and watching woman in NC, FL or TX” was not to be found.
The obituary also makes a bold claim that hasn’t been backed up by fact-checkers at the Fayetteville Observer where the obituary was originally published. Andy says she once had “an affair with Larry King in the ’60s” and was “proceeded in death” by the famous talk show host.
Andy does make a few mentions of her talents in the remembrance. “Here’s what Renay was great at: dyeing her red roots, weekly manicures, dirty jokes, pier fishing, rolling joints and buying dirty magazines. She said she read them for the articles, but filthy free speech was really Renay’s thing. Hers was a bawdy, rowdy life lived large, broke and loud,” Andy writes.
“She played cards like a shark, bowled and played cribbage like a pro, and laughed with the boys until the wee hours, long after the last pin dropped,” Andy continued. “At one point in the 1980’s, Renay was the 11th or 12th-ranked woman in cribbage in America, and while that could be a lie, it sounds great in print. She also told us she came up with the name for Sunoco, and I choose to believe this, too.”
At the end of the obituary, Andy reveals that anyone looking for an inheritance from Renay’s estate should look elsewhere.
“She spent it all, folks. She left me nothing but these lousy memories,” Andy writes. “Which I, and my family of 5 brothers and my sister-in-laws, nephews, friends, nieces, neighbors, ex-boyfriends, Larry King’s children, who I guess I might be one of, the total strangers who all, to a person, loved and will cherish her. Forever. Please think of the brightly-frocked, frivolous, funny and smart Jewish redhead who is about to grift you, tell you a filthy joke, and for Larry King’s sake: LAUGH. Bye, Mommy. We loved you to bits.”
Like many a fantasy-loving adolescent, I was completely obsessed with “The Lord of the Rings” growing up. It had everything: honorable heroes, compelling storylines and a rich, captivating world full of lore and intrigue. It helped me, and many others, escape to a place where good guys would win and where magic was undeniably real.
Every year, my grandmother and I would head out Thursday night to catch a midnight showing … which coincidentally always fell on a testing day at school the following morning. But nothing could stop us from experiencing Peter Jackson’s undaunted, bold and ultimately touching movie trilogy masterpiece.
So to see The Fellowship unite together once again on “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert” … let’s just say it filled my nerdy heart to the brim. Along with countless others.
The fact that it was part of an epic rap battle made things even better.
Colbert jokingly complained that he would not be on air to celebrate the 20th (yes 20th) anniversary of “The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring.” In case you didn’t know, Colbert is a loud and proud LOTR fan.
Noting that the “just okay” Harry Potter franchise marked its anniversary with a cast reunion, Colbert lamented that “Peter Jackson’s towering achievement” got no such honor. To be fair, LOTR was added to the National Film Registry by the Library of Congress. So there’s that.
Either way, Colbert decided to create his own anniversary tribute … in the form of a rap, appropriately titled “#1 Trilly.”
Next thing you know, we see a puffy jacket sporting Colbert delivering a brilliant rap alongside not one, not two, but all FOUR hobbits. That’s Sean Astin, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan and Elijah Wood, people!
Plus a Gollum, everyone’s favorite arrow-shooting elf and the rightful King of Gondor: Andy Serkis, Orlando Bloom and Viggo Mortensen.
Anna Kendrick even has a hilarious cameo. Not to mention Method Man and Killer Mike playfully trash talking other, lesser franchises. You know, titles like “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Boring.” Savage.
Of course, I haven’t mentioned the video’s MVP yet: Hugo Weaving, who raps. In Elvish. Yes, dreams really do come true.
You can catch the amazing spectacle below:
Thank you to Colbert and the cast for giving us something to smile about. It truly was “one celebration to rule them all.”
This video went viral back in 2020, but it has recently resurfaced on Reddit: Made Me Smile. And rightfully so. What this father says to his son is so heartwarming that it deserves a second round of publicity. It’s a masterclass on unconditional love.
Daniel Diaz was filming a makeup tutorial when his father walks in (at about 13 minutes into the tutorial). The lights are off and Daniel is trying to hide his fully made up face, complete with false eyelashes and nails.
My Dad Walked In On Me While I Was Doing My Makeup !!😳 | Came Out To My Dad !🏳️🌈 || Daniel Lemus
Though Daniel is nervously laughing, his father takes a more sincere tone.
In a gentle voice, his father starts: “Papa, I’m going to tell you something. Whatever you want to do, papa…”
“Don’t make me cry!” Daniel protests.
“Whatever you want to do,” the father continues, “you’ll be okay. I’ll be okay with you.”
Going in for a hug, he says, “I’m with you. I love you.” Kisses and more “I love yous” can be heard.
Offering some fatherly advice, Daniel’s dad adds, “if this makes you happy, do it. But do it good.”
After dad leaves the room, Daniel turns the lights on and tells the audience, “My dad’s seen me!” which, given the context, takes on a whole new meaning. Daniel might have meant “oh yes, my dad just saw what I was doing,” but underlying that statement, there seems to be a different message: my dad sees ME. The real me. And he loves me.
Acceptance can come from the simplest of gestures, but it makes a world of difference to a young teen trying to form an authentic identity for themselves, especially one that isn’t as commonly accepted by society.
The video received an overwhelming amount of positive comments:
“I’m so happy for him. This is so uncommon in Hispanic households.”
“The way he speaks to you so softly. You have a KING in your house.”
“Yo this one hit different. Your dad is the kind of dad the world needs.“
“Your papá broke every hispanic dad stereotype.”
“‘Do it, but do it good. I’m always with you.’ That’s the part that really got me. This dad is such a role model to young people looking to have children in the future.”
“’You’ll be ok.’ There’s so much love in that, the reassurance, the assurance that dad will be ok right alongside.”
“That was the part that got me. He doesn’t care if his son is wearing make up or playing football. He wants him be the best he can be at whatever he loves! That is a Dad right there.”
“THIS is how you parent! Unconditional love.”
This story goes to show how big of an impact a supportive parent can have. It not only affects the individual, it changes the community as well. All while breaking stereotypes along the way. Daniel and his dad are showing what’s possible, when we let compassion lead the way.
We’ve already covered the best bourbon whiskeys under $50 and $100 to give as a gift this holiday season. Now we’re getting into the “wow” bottles. The impact players, sure to please even the true aficionados on your list.
The 10 bottles below range in price from about $130 to $1,400. So while these are definitely expensive bottles of bourbon, we’re not getting into unicorn bottle territory. These all should be fairly easy to find, too (depending on which state you’re in).
Beyond the price points, this really is about cool bottles that taste good. What more do you really need when you’re picking out the perfect bottle of bourbon to give as a gift? Let’s dive in!
Cowboy Bourbon has become Garrison Brother’s signature bottle of whiskey. The juice from Texas is from barrels that are hand-selected for their depth and deliciousness and then aged for a few more years before being small-batched. The whiskey is then bottled as-is — with no filtering or cutting — leaving you with the purest essence of what great Texas bourbon can be in every single sip.
Tasting Notes:
There’s a rush of very sharp cinnamon sticks next to a pile of wet cedar shingles and an almost Chinese hot mustard spice and miso edge that’s as baffling as it’s enticing. That spicy/umami nose makes you want to dive into this sip. Once you do, you’re greeted with an apple pie overflowing with walnuts, spices, and syrupy brown sugar encased in a flaky lard pie crust as spicy plum puddings sit next to more cedar and a throughline of caramel. The end turns to velvet as a vanilla tobacco vibe arrives to calm everything down and numb your tongue with a buzz.
Bottom Line:
This is one of the ultimate high-end bottles from Texas. It’s big, brash, and 100 percent unique. Though you might want to consider some ice cube trays as a side gift since this whiskey does need a rock or two to cool it down and open it up.
Michter’s originally dropped this back in 2014. The juice is standard bourbon that’s then finished in a toasted barrel from the famed Kelvin Cooperage in Louisville. They build these barrels by hand from 18-month air-dried white oak and then lightly toast the inside before the aged whiskey goes in.
Tasting Notes:
This opens with a pecan pie vibe that’s nutty, dry, and full of dark Caro syrup sweetness with a hint of candied orange peels with a touch of cinnamon and cedar bark. The palate holds onto the sweetness as it leans towards a campfire roasted marshmallow, a touch of saffron and clove-stewed pears, a pile of sappy firewood, and creamy nuances of vanilla pudding all meander through your senses. The end has a light savory nature that leads back to the pear, vanilla, and marshmallow on a very slow fade.
Bottom Line:
This is a great mid-way Michter’s buy. It’s not a standard bottle but it’s also not a crazy bottle that reaches into the thousands of dollars. All of that aside, the juice in this bottle is actually pretty damn delicious and unique, making it the perfect gift bottle.
This Heaven Hill release is an orphan barrel from Old Fitzgerald’s nearly extinct stocks. The juice is a blend of 12 barrels (from the old Stitzel-Weller distillery) that Heaven Hill inherited when they bought Old Fitz. They aged the whiskey for 20 years, vatted the barrels, cut the juice down to proof, and then bottled it in a unique decanter. Only 3,000 bottles were made.
Tasting Notes:
There’s an almost sherry vibe to the sip, with stewed plums swimming in dark holiday spices next to a lightly salted caramel note with a creamy vanilla base. The taste leans into the dried fruit and eggnog spices as a touch of bitter dark chocolate arrives with a hint of almost smoked plums nestled in cedar boxes full of brittle, dried tobacco. The end is long yet very silky with a mild dry nuttiness and a slight return to the stewed plums and savory caramel.
Bottom Line:
If someone gave this to me for Christmas, I’d be shocked. These are so rare and special — plus the whiskey is excellent. Gifting this bottle proves you know your shit and really care about someone’s whiskey journey.
The whiskey in the bottle is an exclusive selection of barrels that were looked after by bourbon legend Fred Noe himself. The bourbon is “extra aged” in very particular spots in the Beam rickhouses. Noe transfers that whiskey into Pedro Ximénez sherry casks for a finishing touch. The juice is then touched with that soft Kentucky limestone water to bring it down to a very manageable 100 proof before it’s bottled in a bespoke and hefty decanter.
Tasting Notes:
The nose feels like a sweet honeyed scotch by way of Kentucky’s woodlands as moments of marzipan, cedar boxes full of dried tobacco, and sweet yet earthy dates roll across your olfactories. The taste highlights Beam’s signature cherry vibe while taking it towards dark chocolate and brandy-filled candy depths, while old leather, spicy plum pudding dripping with rich vanilla cream, and more of that cedar humidor dance on your palate. The end is long, spicy, full of those dates, earthy, and as soft as a silk billowing on a clothesline.
Bottom Line:
Everyone knows Jim Beam in one way or another. It’s the biggest selling bourbon on the planet after all. This expression will dispel any preconceived notion about the brand. It’s nuanced, truly special, and rare.
Barrell Craft Spirits is another craft blendery that’s sourcing some of the best barrels in the game and expertly marrying those barrels. This expression blends 15-year-old bourbon from Indiana, Kentucky, and Tennesse into a final product that reaches new heights for blended bourbon.
Tasting Notes:
There’s a lot to draw you in with this nose of rich tobacco spiciness next to soft cedar, tart cherry pie filling, saffron stewed pears, salted toffee, and what almost feels like the salted water left after boiling artichokes (seriously). The fruitiness really builds as the cherry leads towards a bowl full of ripe raspberries swimming in cream with a dusting of dark spices and brown sugar that’s countered by a dose of floral tea leaves culminating with a mildly bitter coffee bean. The end is long and really holds onto the cherry and raspberry fruit while a note of that soft cedar dips back in with a hint of menthol tobacco buzz.
Bottom Line:
These rare yearly drops are another example of a gift that shows how much you care. These special Barrell drops tend to lean into whiskey nerd-dom and haven’t hit the mainstream quite yet, so get in on the ground floor.
This whiskey was produced in the spring of 2003. Since then, it lost 73 percent of its volume to the angels as it rested in warehouses C, K, M, and Q on various floors. The barrels were then vatted, proofed down, and bottled.
Tasting Notes:
The nose has this matrix of dark holiday spices that layer into a Black Forest cake with the finest stewed cherries, the moistest chocolate sponge cake, and the richest cream with a touch of vanilla and dark chocolate shavings and a whisper of pink finishing salt. The palate really leans into the cherry with a bright but saucy vibe that’s spiked with nutmeg, allspice, and cinnamon (and maybe a hint of ground ginger) while little firecrackers full of salted black licorice, dry cedar bark, and Cherry Coke fill in the background. The finish takes its time as the mid-palate cherry sweetness slowly dissolves into an old wooden garden box full of fresh dark potting soil bursting with fresh mint and spicy nasturtiums.
Bottom Line:
This is the ultimate gift for any bourbon lover. They’ll be eternally grateful for a bottle of this caliber and rarity.
The whiskey is around five to six years old and comes from one barrel that lets the grains shine through before it goes into another barrel that lets the oak shine through. That final barrel is bottled at cask strength, as is.
Tasting Notes:
This opens with a nose full of salted butter next to hints of very soft leather, light notes of vanilla bean, a touch of toffee sweetness, and freshly cracked walnuts with a dry edge. The taste leans into that oak barrel with dashes of woody spices (think allspice berries, star anise, and cinnamon sticks), dry cherry tobacco leaves, salted caramel, and more of that super soft leather. That leads towards a mid-palate of dark red fruits stewed in mulled wine spices and cut with a dollop of fresh honey before the (long) finish dries out towards an old wicker chair, a very distinct hint of a cellar funk, and a touch of dried mint.
Bottom Line:
This is another whiskey distillery for the hardcore whiskey nerds out there. It’s a stellar operation that puts out amazing bottles like this that are both a little hard to get but also deliver on every level once you get one in your hands.
This special release from Old Forester celebrates 150 years of whisky making by the brand with “150” at the core of the line. Master Taster Jackie Zykan created three batches of this limited release from 150 barrels that were specifically selected by Master Distiller Chris Morris. Once these bottles are gone, there won’t be a whisky like this from Old Forester again.
Tasting Notes:
Based on Batch no. 1, you’ll be greeted with a mingling of menthol and anise with rich and buttery caramel next to a hint of holiday spices and a touch of sweet fruit. The palate embraces the holiday spice and adds in a peppery edge while the sweetness leans towards pancake syrup with a hint of dark chocolate and old wood beams lurking in the background. The finish marries the dark chocolate to the almost chili pepper spice on the medium-length finish as flourishes of orange oils, wet leather, and salted caramel kettle corn linger on your nicely warmed senses.
Bottom Line:
Old Forester is pretty well-known these days. So finding a special one-off bottle from the brand is the play for any high-end bourbon gift needs you might have.
Old Fitzgerald Bottled-in-Bond 8 Years Aged, Spring 2021
This year’s spring release is a marriage of eight-year-old whiskeys produced in the spring of 2013. That distilled juice rested in barrels spread throughout three warehouses on several different floors. In spring of this year, those barrels were vatted and whiskey was proofed down to 100 (per bottled-in-bond law). Then the whiskey was filled into Old Fitzgerald’s signature decanters and sent out into the world.
Tasting Notes:
Goddamn! This is gorgeous. The nose draws you in with warming eggnog spice, creamy vanilla pudding, rich toffee, mild fruit, and a hint of wet cedar and very muted citrus. To say this is “smooth” would be an understatement. The silky taste dances around oven-hot pans of pecan and maple-glazed sticky buns with plenty of cinnamon and nutmeg next to caramelized orange peel vibes and lightness that’s almost hard to believe. The finish is long, effervescent, and leaves you with this soft sense of having just eaten the best oatmeal raisin cookie of your life with just the right amounts of oats, spice, raisins, brown sugar, and crumble.
Bottom Line:
This was one of my favorite bourbons of the year — seriously, it’s delicious. That aside, this is another rare release that hardcore bourbon fans stand in lines for hours for. So finding one under the tree would be a delight.
This single barrel masterpiece was made for the international market but is now available widely in the U.S., albeit for a hefty price. The juice is all about the refinement of the single barrel aging process, with masterful finishing to bring this down to a very drinkable 102 proof.
Tasting Notes:
There’s a big greeting on the nose with notes of spicy tobacco leaves next to honey, dark berries, and orange oils. The palate carries those notes forward while leaning into the tobacco and amping up the rye pepperiness then balancing it with a bit more honey and caramel. The finish takes its time fading out as notes of vanilla, spice, and oak linger — with a final billow of pipe tobacco popping at the very end.
Bottom Line:
Never underestimate the power of Blanton’s as a gift. While the standard bottle is pretty great, this special release is a little bit more refined. That refinement is what makes this bottle special enough to give as a gift this year.
After more than two years, Roddy Ricch is finally delivering a new album with his upcoming project Live Life Fast. It’s an effort that will hopefully match the success of his debut album Please Excuse Me For Being Antisocial. The 2019 project spent multiple weeks at No. 1 while also carrying a song, “The Box,” that tallied eleven weeks atop the Billboard Hot 100. Altogether, it’s a high bar that the Compton native will hopefully reach again. Just hours before he releases the project, Roddy returns to unveil its complete tracklist.
Through 18 songs, listeners will catch appearances from 21 Savage, Alex Isley, Bibi Bourelly, Fivio Foreign, Gunna, Jamie Foxx, Kodak Black, Takeoff, and Ty Dolla Sign. These are all guest appearances that Roddy previously revealed, but he did so without sharing the album’s complete tracklist until today. Now, thanks to an update to the album’s pre-save page on Apple Music, we’ve received full song titles in addition to knowing when these artists will appear beside Roddy throughout the album.
Most of the collaborations on Live Life Fast feature one guest except on two occasions: “Hibachi,” which places Kodak Black and 21 Savage with Roddy, and “Slow It Down,” which finds Ty Dolla Sign and Alex Isley working some magic together.
You can view the full tracklist for Live Life Fast below.
1. “LLF”
2. “Thailand”
3. “All Good” (Feat. Future)
4. “Rollercoastin”
5. “Hibachi” (Feat. Kodak Black & 21 Savage)
6. “Paid My Dues” (Feat. Takeoff)
7. “Crash The Party”
8. “No Way” (Feat. Jamie Foxx)
9. “Slow It Down” (Feat. Ty Dolla $Ign & Alex Isley)
10. “Man Made”
11. “Murda One” (Feat. Fivio Foreign)
12. “Everything You Need”
13. “Moved To Miami” (Feat. Lil Baby)
14. “Don’t I” (Feat. Gunna)
15. “Bibi’s Interlude” (Feat. Bibi Bourelly)
16. “More Than A Trend”
17. “Late At Night”
18. “25 Million”
Live Life Fast is out 12/17 via Atlantic. Pre-order it here.
Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.
Shaquille O’Neal is a gigantic figure, often using his size and physicality to produce amusement. Between his well-known stature, legendary basketball career and ever-present nature in the business world, Shaq is all over the place, and he is notable for his sometimes embellished stories. With that the backdrop, Shaq recently spoke with Men’s Health and, as always, he was quite candid.
While the entire interview is worth a read, Shaq revealed that his weight “crept up to around 415 pounds” during stay-at-home orders derived from the global pandemic. However, he indicated that he has already dropped as many as 50 pounds from his weight peak, and the piece outlines a training regimen that would improve the condition of anyone.
He typically trains four days a week now for about an hour, blasting through 20 minutes of cardio and banging out 40 minutes of strength work. He wants to slim down to 350 pounds and be ripped enough to “go topless” and post an Instagram thirst trap for his 50th birthday in March. His fitness goal, he elaborates, is to make sure his stomach doesn’t hang over his belt. He doesn’t want to develop the dreaded “OTBB,” or “over-the-belt Barkley,” as he puts it.
It wouldn’t be a Shaq interview if he didn’t take a shot at Charles Barkley, as the two often go back and forth on TNT’s Inside The NBA. Beyond that, though, it is good news that Shaq is getting back into shape, and his 50th birthday is apparently a driving force.
Shaq will turn 50 in March, reminding many basketball fans of their own mortality in the process. Still, one of the gargantuan figures of the sports world is trimming up, and he’s still having fun in the process.
If you thought cats were quirky, wait until you hear about the humans who have cats in their workplace.
In the popular AITA subreddit, in which people share personal stories and ask other users “Am I the Asshole?” it’s common to find bizarre scenarios in which people behave in head-scratching ways. But a recent AITA inquiry takes the prize for the most hilarious, strange and thoroughly entertaining saga of workplace weirdness ever shared.
AITA for u201cperpetuating ethnic stereotypesu201d about Jorts? https://bit.ly/3ytjsLCu00a0pic.twitter.com/pHFeuxhoqH
— Am I the Asshole? (@Am I the Asshole?) 1639516021
Redditor u/throwawayorange cat, who works at in an undisclosed profession that involves providing “service to clients in very sad/stressful points in their lives” wrote:
“We have two workplace cats in one area of our worksites. They add value to the worksite, we all love the cats and the worksite cat presence is not the issue. One of the cats (Jean) is a tortoiseshell cat we have had for years. The other cat (Jorts) is a large orange cat and a recent addition.
Jorts is just… kind of a simple guy. For example, Jorts can’t open a door even when it’s ajar— he shoves it whether he is going in or out, so often he closes the door he is trying to go through. This means he is often trapped inside the place he was trying to exit and meows until he is rescued.
My colleague Pam (not her real name) has been spending a lot of time trying to teach Jorts things. The doors thing is the main example — it’s a real issue because the cats are fed in a closet and Jorts keeps pushing the door closed. Jean can actually open all the other interior doors since they are a lever type knob, but she can’t open this particular door if she is trapped INSIDE the closet.
Tortie Jean is very nice to poor orange Jorts, and she is kept busy letting him out of rooms he has trapped himself in, so this seems easy to resolve. I put down a door stop.
Pam then said I was depriving Jorts of the ‘chance to learn’ and kept removing the doorstop. She set up a series of special learning activities for Jorts, and tried to put these tasks on the whiteboard of daily team tasks (I erased them). She thinks we need to teach him how to clean himself better and how to get out of minor barriers like when he gets a cup stuck on his head, etc. I love Jorts but he’s just dumb af and we can’t change that.
Don’t get me wrong— watching her try to teach Jorts how to walk through a door is hilarious, but Jean got locked in the closet twice last week. Yesterday I installed a cat cutout thing in the door and Pam started getting really huffy. I made a gentle joke about ‘you can’t expect Jean’s tortoiseshell smarts from orange cat Jorts’ which made Pam FURIOUS. She started crying and left the hallway, then sent an email to the group (including volunteers) and went home early.
In her email Pam said I was ‘perpetuating ethnic stereotypes by saying orange cats are dumb’ and is demanding a racial sensitivity training before she will return. I don’t think it’s relevant but just in case, Pam is a white person in a mostly minority staff (and no she is not ginger/does not have red hair).
TL;DR: AITA for ‘enforcing an ethnic stereotype’ by joking that orange cats are often dumb?”
The responses to the original post were decidedly in the “No, you’re not the a-hole” camp, with comments ranging from “Um, you can’t be racist against an animal,” to “Why is Pam spending so much of her work time trying to train a cat?” Others chimed in with their own experiences with dumb orange male cats.
Then came the update—oh, the glorious update—that took the whole thing to a whole other buttery level.
“Thanks for responding to my query which had truly upset me. I work to have a good relationship with my team and the situation had gotten weird so gradually that I lost perspective.
I just met with HR, she had already met with Pam. HR was concerned about Pam’s comparing ethnic stereotypes with giving a cat a doorstop and they addressed that which went well. HR will follow up to make sure Pam understands. (The replies to my query were helpful to me for this discussion.)
HR also addressed Pam assigning other staff Jorts-related tutoring, as it is not appropriate for Pam to assign others work. This also went well.
We both think Pam had a hard time with the transition from volunteer to staff, and may have ‘new kid’ sensitivity projected to Jorts. Pam got emotional about her perception that I favor Jean over Jorts and gave specific examples. Some of these things are fair. Jorts deserves respect as a member of our team.
There are 3 buildings in our workplace. Jean and Jorts are limited to one. HR told me there were 5 holdouts about vaccines, and restricting unvaccinated people from entering the building (to protect Jean and Jorts) was enough to win over 4 of them. That’s CRAZY, but great.
More importantly: the cats’ presence greatly enhances our work with our clients, and Jorts’ friendly nature has been so great. Both cats truly are doing important work. Truly Jorts deserves to be treated with respect.
We all deserve to be treated with dignity at work, so I will apologize to Jorts about some things that were insensitive or disrespectful.
a. Jean has a nice cat bed with her name on it, while Jorts has chosen an old boot tray in my office with a towel in it. Recently a visitor put wet boots in the boot tray and Pam saw Jorts sleeping on the wet boots. I bought a bed for Jorts today and a name tag has been ordered.
b. I will apologize to Jorts and remove the sign saying ‘DAYS SINCE JORTS HAD A TRASH CAN MISHAP: 0’ Jorts likes to fish dirty paper cups out and he often falls into the bin or gets a cup stuck on his head, etc. (He is able to get out of the bin by tipping it over so it isn’t a safety issue.)
c. Jean’s ‘staff bio’ has a photo of Jean, while Jorts’ bio has a photo of a sweet potato. I did not actually know either cat had a staff bio, but we will use a photo of Jorts instead of a sweet potato.
HR also suggested changing Pam’s duties so she is ‘in charge’ of the cats. This I refused, the cats are my staff, not Pam’s. I think Pam was well-intended but actually not meeting the needs of either Jean or Jorts so they remain under my supervision. (Pam is also not to put cups on Jorts’ head or intentionally put him into frustrating situations given his unique needs.)
Lastly, and this made us both laugh so hard we can’t deal with it in person and will be said via email: Pam admits that she has been putting margarine on Jorts in an attempt to teach him to groom himself better. This may explain the diarrhea problem Jean developed (which required a vet visit).
Pam is NOT to apply margarine to any of her coworkers. Jean has shown she is willing to be in charge of helping Jorts stay clean. If this task becomes onerous for Jean, we can have a groomer help. I am crying laughing typing this.
added: I’m so glad this brought joy. Fan mail can be directed to jortsandjean @ gmail dot com.
or follow the Jorts and Jean joke account on twitter @JortsTheCat”
She buttered the cat. Oh, Pam.
The tale of Jean and Jorts launched a flurry of responses from the hilarious creatives of the internet, from memes to poetry.
I think we all agree @time made a huge mistake today. I demand some recognition for Jorts.pic.twitter.com/XCX0RJbcZo
We stand in solidarity with @JortsTheCat in my workplace!pic.twitter.com/nTdFkPjJlC
— lia ud83dudc08u200du2b1b (@lia ud83dudc08u200du2b1b) 1639681000
People even started getting literary with the Jorts jokes, from a parody of a William Carlos Williams poem:
This is just to saynnI have buttered nthe Jortsnwho was in nthe closetnnand who nyou were probably nkeeping around nfor staff moralennforgive menhe was adorable nso stupidnand so orange
hereu2019s Jean and Jortspic.twitter.com/EzthwbezaT
— Helena Fitzgerald (@Helena Fitzgerald) 1639580564
To a well-known “Lord of the Rings” quote:
I feel thin, stretched, like butter scraped over too much Jorts
— Founding member of Jorts fan club (@Founding member of Jorts fan club) 1639585655
Who knew that workplace cats could provide such ongoing entertainment for countless pandemic-weary humans? Thank you, “Pam” for being such a quirky coworker and giving us all a reason to cheer for Jorts, the dumb orange cat.
Well, this is awkward. You know the Larry Hoover Benefit Concert and livestream that went down at the L.A. Memorial Coliseum last Thursday night? You know, the one that was dubbed as “Kanye With Special Guest Drake Live In Concert #FreeLarryHoover”? The one where Ye played an unthinkable set of his greatest hits and Drake put down a dozen songs of his own before the pair closed the show out with “Forever”? Well, if you weren’t there or didn’t watch the livestream, you might never know that Drake played a set at all.
That’s because Amazon has mysteriously removed Drake’s set from the Amazon Prime Video version of the show that’s currently up on their site for streaming. Following the concert, the video has had numerous periods where it has been unavailable on Amazon Prime. One of them was presumably for producer Mike Dean to apply his own audio mix to the show, which is the higher quality sounding version currently available, which is also 24 minutes shorter than the original. Two days ago, Dean posted an update about his mix on Instagram stating “NEW MIX ON THE COLLISIUM [sic] SHOW. CHECK IT.”
So why is Drake’s set missing from the video now? The closing duet of “Forever” is still on there, so he hasn’t been completely erased. But could this insinuate a rekindling of the Drake/Ye beef? A more plausible assertion is that Drake’s set doesn’t have the high-quality audio that Ye has infamously demanded of every project he’s ever been a part of. So perhaps someone like Mike Dean hasn’t cleaned it up for the streaming video yet. Maybe the concert will be unavailable again for a day and then reappear with Drake back in there? Or perhaps Drake hasn’t cleared his performance for streaming video after the fact? Either way, this is just weird and low-key messy. Of course, it is.
This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Cookie settingsACCEPT
Privacy & Cookies Policy
Privacy Overview
This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
