Anyone who has found themselves in a relationship with a narcissist knows how confusing, disorienting or downright terrifying it can be.
There are conflicting statistics on what percent of the population has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), but it ranges anywhere from 1% to 6%. The average American knows 600 people, which means we all know at least a small handful of pathological narcissists personally.
But it’s people who are in close relationships with narcissists who bear the brunt of their pathology. Whether you were raised by a narcissistic parent or fell in love with a narcissist, it’s likely you’ve been abused by someone to feed their narcissistic needs.
NPD can be particularly challenging to treat because most narcissists will nor or cannot admit that anything is wrong with them. Researchers at Washington University in St. Louis found that most narcissists are actually aware that they are narcissists, but rather than see it as a problem, they embrace it and take pride in it. (Of course.)
However, a self-aware narcissist can get help through psychotherapy, if they are willing to do it. Since most don’t see the problem, many won’t. But many or even most isn’t all, and one man is on a mission to use his Narcissistic Personality Disorder diagnosis for good.
Lee Hammock has been diagnosed with NPD and has been in psychotherapy for it since 2017. He calls himself a “self-aware” narcissist and uses social media—particularly TikTok—to share insider insights into a narcissist’s brain. Hammock describes why he decided to share the ins and outs of his disorder:
“The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the narcissistic abuse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The victims and survivors get validation and the narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.”
He explained how he ended up here:
@mentalhealness Reply to @dubyuhbee hope this helps. I’m on a mission.
Hammock’s videos speak for themselves. There are tons of them, and they give amazing insight into a narcissist’s perspective from the point of view of a narcissist who actually works to understand and manage his own disorder. Here’s a sampling:
@mentalhealness Narcissists and toxic people move fast. Slow down and stop ignoring the red flags
@mentalhealness Reply to @balushijam narcissist don’t want to see you happy with anyone else. They think they are the best you’re going to get #narcavengers
@mentalhealness Narcissistic people would rather you leave than to work on any of their issues
@mentalhealness Collab with @Nia Renee Narcissists like to play games with you in order to start arguments, throw you off or in order to play the hero. #narcavengers
@mentalhealness Reply to @donna28c narcissist see any discussions about your feelings as criticism #narcavengers
@mentalhealness Reply to @meowmeow2342 narcissist have limited emotional capacity and the people closest to us get treated the worst #narcissist #ITriedItIPrimedIt
@mentalhealness Sometimes we are the issue. Therapy helps #npd #narcissism #narctok #narcs #narc #narcissist
@mentalhealness It’s never a good time to finish a conversation or argument with a narcissist. Leaving things unfinished causes them buildup #ShowUsYourDrawers #narcs #npd
He even weighed in on the Kanye West situation, not diagnosing West with NPD, but explaining how his actions are right out of the narcissistic playbook.
@mentalhealness I’m not saying he’s a narcissist, but if he isssssss Kayne is definitely taking things to a narcissistic obsessive level #kayne #kanyewest #kimkardashian
Hammock has been honest about the fact that that making and sharing these videos and getting likes on them actually feeds his narcissistic ego, but it’s a healthy turning of the tables on the disorder.
And it really is serving a need. If you read through the comments on Hammock’s videos, the most common response is recognition. So many people have interacted with narcissists and see those interactions in these videos, which is both validating and relieving. People who have been victims of narcissistic abuse are not alone, and Hammock helps them see that. He even helps people who might be narcissists themselves maybe—maybe—become more self-aware that their personality disorder is something that needs management.
You can find Hammock’s videos on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube.