Month: March 2022

Back in 2018, less than a year after they released their third album Culture II, Migos decided that they were going to break off for a brief moment and release solo albums. Quavo dropped Quavo Huncho, Offset delivered Father Of 4, and Takeoff released The Last Rocket. In the grand scheme of things, the projects weren’t as beloved as the Migos projects as they helped to highlight while the group works so well together. Now, almost four years later, there’s no sign that the trio is preparing to release solo projects again, but some, including Takeoff, have released songs as individual artists.

For the first time since he dropped The Last Rocket, Takeoff is back in action as a lone act. With his latest release, he calls on Rich The Kid to join him for “Crypto.” The track is of course focused on cryptocurrency as the rappers flex their wallets and how much they’ve attained. It also arrives with a laid-back video that follows Takeoff and Rich as they walk through city streets and kick it on a plane as they brag about their finances.

The new track comes after Takeoff lent his voice to Roddy Ricch’s sophomore album Live Life Fast where he appeared on “Paid My Dues.” As for Rich The Kid, he recently teamed up with Lil Wayne for their joint project, Trust Fund Babies.

You can listen to “Crypto” in the video above.

It’s been a little over 18 months since Latto dropped her major-label debut album Queen Of Da Souf. The project arrived after she earned a spot on the 2020 XXL Freshman Class list. Altogether, Queen Of Da Souf helped push the Atlanta rapper into the spotlight and she’s absolutely made the most of it. Her 2021 single “Big Energy” has grown to be her most successful track so far. Now, Latto is looking to match the song’s success with her latest single, “Wheelie.” The track arrives with a guest verse from fellow Atlanta native 21 Savage and a thrilling new video.

The new visual is filled with motorbikes and luxury vehicles doing donuts which is fitting action for the new song. Elsewhere, Latto shows off her dance moves and later stands tall and confident with 21 Savage as they flex some muscle through boastful raps. The new track is not the duo’s first record together as Latto previously recruited 21 Savage for “Pull Up” from her Queen Of Da Souf album.

The new record comes after Latto delivered song strong guest verses over the last year. They include a remix of “Sorry Not Sorry,” her most recent effort with Atlanta rapper Omeretta The Great, as well as records with Toosii, Don Toliver, and Lil Durk. 21 Savage, on the other hand, has recently laid verses with JID, King Von, Rick Ross, and more.

Scroll up to check out the video for “Wheelie.”

Megan Thee Stallion and Dua Lipa have grown to be two of music’s most exciting musicians. Both have top-5 albums, those being Good News and Future Nostalgia respectively. They also have top-2 records on the singles chart with Megan’s being “Savage” and Dua Lipa’s being “Don’t Start Now” and “Levitating.” Add in Grammy wins and it’s clear that the two artists are well on their way to stardom, if they’re not already. With that being said, it’s only right that they join forces for their new song “Sweetest Pie,” a record that comes with an enticing video.

The new visual begins with two men walking in a forest when they’re greeted by Megan and Dua Lipa. At first, they’re intrigued by the artists, but soon enough they realize that Megan and Dua’s sweetest pies are too much for them to handle and they quickly run away. The men return with an army of guys to try and take down Megan and Dua, but they fail in their attempt as the ladies overcome their attack to reign supreme.

The song arrives as a high moment for both artists. Megan was recently forced to sue her label, 1501 Certified Entertainment, after they refused to count her last project, Something For Thee Hotties, as a project to fulfill her contract with them. As for Dua Lipa, she received two lawsuits that accused her of stealing from other songs to create her hit record “Levitating.”

You can watch the video for “Sweetest Pie” above.

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

“What’s your favorite shape?” is generally a question we ask 5-year-olds, not grown adults. But maybe if we put it into more advanced terms—”What’s the best polygon?”—we’d be compelled to give it some genuine thought.

Since there’s an entire field of math dedicated to triangles, that might seem like a logical answer. But, most human-made things around us are made up of rectangles, so maybe they’re the best. Then again, there are much more interesting quadrilaterals than squares and rectangles (hey, rhombus!) in addition to pentagons, hexagons, heptagons (which I don’t think I’ve ever even seen), octagons, nonagons—so many “gons” to choose from.

As it turns out, there is an answer to this question—at least according to popular YouTube creator CGP Grey.

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The answer? Hexagons. Who knew, right?

If you have doubts that the six-sided shape deserves the title of “best,” CGP Grey’s video might change your mind.

In it, we see how bees use hexagons to make honeycomb. That’s not by accident; it’s because hexagons are actually the most efficient shape for tiling. It’s the same reason bees’ eyes are made up of tons of tiny hexagons—and why the back of our eyes are too.

Snowflakes have six sides, which alone is reason enough for the hexagon to be the bestagon, but the reason they’re six-sided is super cool. Saturn has a mysterious, humongous hexagon of gases the size of six Earths, which is weird but also super cool.

But that’s just the peripheral stuff. There’s a fundamental atomic reason why hexagons are the bestagons—strength and stability which allows hexagons to create the strongest atomic material in the universe.

And, of course, Settlers of Catan.

If you have doubts, let CGP Grey convince you. By the end, you’ll have to at least admit that hexagons are pretty darn cool, even if you’re partial to some other polygon.

The Brooklyn Nets throttled the Philadelphia 76ers in stunning fashion on Thursday evening. Brooklyn went into Wells Fargo Center and left with a 129-100 victory, making up for the absence of Ben Simmons with an impressive array of offense and frisky defense throughout the evening. Along the way, there was plenty of vitriol for Simmons in his return, albeit in street clothes on the bench, to Philadelphia, but Kevin Durant and company seemed to quiet the crowd with a dominant on-court effort.

After the game, Durant was asked about what transpired and whether the angst about Simmons had a motivating appeal.

First, Durant admitted that the Nets had Simmons on their mind in trying to have the back of their teammate in a difficult environment. From there, he also managed to get in a jab that included the blowout nature of the final score.

“We look at Ben as our brother. We knew this was a hostile environment,” Durant said. “We knew that he didn’t have an opportunity to play. So wanted to come out there and have them focus on the court more so than just always focusing on them. So they focused on the court tonight, and it’s hard for you to chant at Ben Simmons when you’re losing by that much.”

Durant was jawing throughout the evening, headlined by a notable sequence with Joel Embiid in the first half, and he’s rarely shy about expressing himself.

This was definitely an opportunity to stand behind Simmons, though, and the Nets seemed to relish the chance while adding fuel to the fire in a matchup that could repeat itself in a playoff setting. The next step in the rivalry will be when Simmons actually sees the floor against his old team, but round one went to the Nets, both on and off the court.

The NBA only had two games on Thursday night, with the marquee attraction being the first game between the Brooklyn Nets and Philadelphia 76ers since their blockbuster trade at the deadline sent James Harden to Philly and Ben Simmons to Brooklyn. Simmons is still not playing for the Nets, but joined the team for their trip to his old home and even got in on pregame warmups, to the expected chorus of boos.

So much of the focus was on Simmons at the start, but it quickly became an enthralling first quarter, with Brooklyn scorching out of the gates, led by Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving, while Joel Embiid was extremely aggressive to start. The playoff atmosphere was apparent and tensions were high early on, making for some exceptional drama, as Embiid and Durant got into it after Embiid drew a foul after bulldozing through KD in the post.

However, while Embiid showed up early, no one else on the Sixers did as Brooklyn jumped on them early and never relented, running out to a 21-point halftime lead and, ultimately, a 129-100 victory. Durant was nothing short of sensational, scoring 25 points and adding 14 rebounds and seven assists, as he was unstoppable inside and out, leaving his lasting mark with an early dunk in transition and later a crossover that shook Tobias Harris off the screen to create a wide open three.

Kyrie Irving added 22 points in 30 minutes of play, with most of those coming in the first half as he seemed to relish the opportunity to take it to James Harden and the Sixers.

Embiid started strong, doing his part with an early parade to the free throw line, but as the margin grew and Harden struggled mightily to get it going (as did Tyrese Maxey and just about everyone else on the Sixers), it quickly got away from Philly. Embiid finished with 27 points and 12 rebounds, but saw Harden only add 11 points and Maxey score just four as the Sixers’ starting backcourt was a combined 5-for-24 from the field.

It was simply a beatemdown kind of night from the Nets, who seemed to have a little added juice for this one. Seth Curry enjoyed his return to Philly, pouring in 24 points on his old team, and seemingly everyone on the Brooklyn side rose to the occasion in a way the Sixers simply did not.

Simmons even got a touch in as a loose ball bounded down the court towards the Nets bench, where he leapt into action and scooped it up, soaking in the boos from the despondent Philly crowd.

By the fourth quarter, the game was no longer in doubt and Sixers fans who paid big money to get in the door (the resale market was over four figures just to be in the building) were left with no one to boo but their own team as they headed to an early exit.

After the game, Durant was delighted by the way Brooklyn silenced the Sixers crowd.

Sixers fans hoped for a cathartic release on Thursday night, but instead were treated to a Nets victory lap that will leave more questions than answers for a still-unproven Philly side when it comes to big games. Brooklyn made its statement and now all eyes will be on the standings, because a first round series between these two is more than possible with the Nets still firmly in the play-in.

Are you ready for some foooodbaaaaaall? A Thursday night partaaay?

Queso and football, that’s what Houston does!

That’s right, this week’s episode of Top Chef Houston began with a queso challenge, which would test the contestants’ ability to prepare, as Chef Jackson put it, “a gooey vat of nasty cheese.”

Wow, insulting cheese on an American television show? Really angling for that “fan least-favorite” award, eh, buddy? Insult queso in this house and the only thing you’ll be tasting is the floor.

The wrinkle for this challenge (guest judged by QUESO LUMINARY Irma Galvan), would be that the chefs wouldn’t be allowed to serve the queso with tortilla chips. Which is kinda weird, I guess, but then how much do you really want to mess with queso? Tortilla chips are an ideal vessel, but I’ll use anything in a pinch. A bare finger works just fine.

Then, in the elimination challenge, it was time for a Friday Night Lights-themed challenge. Clear plates, full stomachs, can’t lose. Along with coaches Dawn Burrell (aka Legs) from last season and Sam Talbot (aka Handsome Dan) from season 2 and 14, and guest judge Chris Shepherd, the contestants were broken into two teams (the Cougars and the Wildcats), where each team would make seven dishes and then compete head-to-head. They’d start at midfield, and each vote for their side from a judge would be good for five yards (with 25 yards available in each round, because there were five judges). First team to get to the end zone wins, offense chooses which chef presents first, defense chooses which of their chefs go against them.

Dang, y’all, that’s a lot of rules! True to the spirit of American football, I suppose. We might need to get the refs out here for 10 minutes of slow-motion replays in order to determine whether this fresh fish was indeed “a catch.” Did it get two fins on the plate? Was it able to make a “foodball move” before getting slathered?

Padma added the stipulation that the food should be “carb heavy,” and it’s at this point that I have to ask the Top Chef judges and contestants what the hell is going on out there. The judges say they want carbs, and out of 14 chefs, NOT A SINGLE ONE makes pasta? Not even a fucking NOODLE? Not only that, this 14-course, entirely noodle-free menu warrants nary a mention come judges table? Or from either of the coaches? Every single competitor makes a glorified porridge and not a single judge has the wherewithal to ask why no one considered a spaghetti, a gnocchi, a ravioli, a dumpling, a chow mein?

Yes, I may be slightly biased here, but that doesn’t mean I’m wrong. If it were up to me, these chefs would’ve been interrogated for hours underneath a bare light bulb while being beaten with a length of rubber hose. WHERE ARE THE NOODLES! I’m putting you on notice, Top Chef.

QUICKFIRE RESULTS:

• Bottom: Sam, Robert, Jackson*.
• Top: Evelyn, Nick, Damarr.**

*Least favorite.
**Winner.

ELIMINATION CHALLENGE RESULTS:

• Damarr* def. Buddha 4-1.
• Ashleigh def. Luke 4-1.
• Robert def. Jae 3-2.
• Jo def. Stephanie** 5-0.
• Nick def. Monique 4-1.
• Sam def. Evelyn 4-1.
• Jackson def. Sarah 5-0.

*Winner.
**Eliminated.

14. (-1) ((Eliminated)) Stephanie Miller

AKA: North Dakota Jolie. Grumbles. Palin.

Quickfire Finish: Middle.

Elimination Challenge Results: Lost 5-0 to Jo in round four; eliminated.

Grumbles spent most of last episode whinging about her team’s (admittedly somewhat inexplicable) decision to go with an Asian theme, and in the process seemed to have learned something about being assertive. When her team decided to go with a grain theme this episode, she decided that she wanted white rice and she was sticking to her guns. Good for her! Pick a different grain, fuckos!

Stephanie prefaced her food choice with, “Carbs get a bad rap, but here in North Dakota, we love our carbs.”

Midwesterners, for the love of God, stop trying to claim every mundane thought and opinion as Midwest-specific. No one is impressed with how normal you are. Sheesh, Stephanie brings up North Dakota more often than Rose Nylund brings up St. Olaf (for the people reading this whose backs don’t hurt right now, that’s a Golden Girls reference).

After she was done playing Bismark board of tourism, Stephanie choose to cook that most traditional of Midwestern carb dishes… the feijoada. That’s a meat-heavy, Brazilian black bean stew, and it actually sounded good. Emphasis on sounded though, because Stephanie made the inexplicable decision to take the meat out before serving. Supposedly so that the judges could more easily focus on the beans. Yes, it’s always important to be able to focus on the beans.

Her rice, meanwhile, which she fought so hard for, turned out to be part of her downfall. It came out broken and overcooked, and to make matters worse probably wasn’t even strictly necessary in her feijoada, which already had plenty of carbs in the form of the beans and cassava. It did allow her to play the martyr again though, as she told her teammates that her rice was “on the verge” and allowed Ashleigh to go ahead of her anyway.

Passive-aggressive martyrdom! Only in the Midwest!

13. (-1) Luke Kolpin

AKA: Liddell. Die Hard. Meekus. Noma… Noma… Noma gonna be in this competition much longer, anyway.

Quickfire finish: Middle.

Elimination Challenge finish: Lost round two 4-1 to Ashleigh.

Luke, who worked at Noma, a word we hear almost as much as “North Dakota” this season, cooks like an advanced AI bot that has been fed 10,000 hours of Top Chef dishes and is now randomly generating new ones. For the queso challenge, Chef Meekus served his queso with a “milk crepe.” Which is apparently just milk that you leave in a pan for a while, until it turns into a solid crepe-like thing. Neat trick! And all so that you could use dairy as a vessel for… uh… more dairy. Love to dip my solid milk in some cheese!

This seems to exemplify Luke’s technique-first, taste later approach to food. In the elimination challenge, Luke presented a dish that, I shit you not, began with the words “Room-temperature pumpkin.” Then when he inevitably lost the round, the look on his face said “Jeez, I can’t believe someone beat my room-temperature pumpkin.”

Talk about a crowd-pleasing dish perfect for a football game! I’ve read that the most popular last meal among condemned inmates is inevitably room-temperature pumpkin. That was my favorite scene in Batman, when he spits out his food and says “Alfred! This pumpkin isn’t warm!”

“It’s room-temperature pumpkin, sir. It’s supposed to be room temperature.”

In practice, Luke’s dish looked like an orange disc, sitting in a pool of oil (confited in walnut oil!) topped by a black gravy (which apparently contained seaweed and mushrooms), garnished with two more, smaller orange discs dusted in something. Mmm, room-temperature pumpkin, just like mom used to make! Ooh yeah, with extra seaweed sludge!

But perhaps I’m ranking Luke too low, because even serving his utterly baffling space food he still got one vote from Gail Simmons. He’s learning what hyooooo-mon’s eat, growing with every dish. He’s like one of those Boston Dynamics robots, where at first it’s funny watching them topple over like clumsy horses, but before you know it they’re scanning your retinas to see if you’re on the drone-kill list.

Notable Critique:

“You gotta go back and check your seasoning. Interesting dish, a lot going on, but just really bland.” -Tom Colicchio.

12. (-8) Sarah Welch

AKA: Lula Roe. Aunt Frances.

Quickfire finish: Middle.

Elimination Challenge finish: Lost round seven 5-0 to Jackson.

I’m re-nicknaming Sarah both Lula Roe and Aunt Frances, because I can’t decide whether she gives me MLM vibes or Frances McDormand/Kooky Aunt vibes.

Sarah TUMBLED down the rankings this week after a strong showing last week, on account of serving what must be one of the most ill-conceived dishes of all time. After kicking around ideas for pork, fish, and shrimp and grits (ding ding ding, shrimp and grits would’ve been great!), Sarah asked coach Dawn Burrell “are chickpeas a carb?” To which Dawn responded a resounding “Yes!”

I don’t know what it is about this year’s crop of chefs that they get one terrible idea in their head and suddenly that’s their unalterable blueprint for the day. Not only did Sarah figure “chickpeas are carbs, ergo a chickpea-based dish is a great idea,” she doubled down on the poorly-chosen theme by choosing to do a “celebration of chickpeas.”

Listen, chickpeas are fine. I used to joke that I was going to name my first born Chickpea if it was a girl and Garbanzo if it was a boy. But no one’s winning this competition with a hummus. True, lots of people share culpability with Sarah for this awful decision, from Dawn for not talking Sarah out of a “____ 10 ways!” dish (NEVER DO A DAMN DUO, TRIO, ETC, THAT’S LIKE THE FIRST RULE OF TOP CHEF) — which is a dereliction of duty as a coach, to Monique for talking Sarah out of cooking her own chickpeas (I feel like using canned chickpeas was way down the list of conceptual problems with this dish, but sure), to her team for sandbagging her by making her serve her dish last. The only thing that makes a hummus-based dish a worse idea than it already is? Serving a hummus-based dish for dessert.

This even after she was the one who suggested pitting like dishes against like dishes.

In any case, Lula Roe here served up a pile of hummus with some greens on it and some chickpea-based bread that she probably spent way too long on. It was a MIRACLE that she didn’t go home. I’m hoping for her sake that this was just an isolated oopsy that she’ll recover from, because she seemed pretty competent last episode. But we have to consider that this may have been a sign of her decision-making abilities.

Notable Critique:

“Did you cook your own chickpeas?”

11. (-4) Jae Jung

AKA: Seoul Food. Mae West.

Quickfire finish: Middle

Elimination Challenge finish: 3-2 loss to Robert.

More so than any other chef in this competition, Jae is a big question mark, in terms of both competence and personality. After describing her love of cheese in a manner that can only be described as “weirdly horny,” (hence the new nickname “Mae West” — not great, but we’ll workshop it), Jae actually received decent marks for her “freekeh salad,” losing by a narrow 3-2 score to Robert, one of the few chefs who actually seemed to understand the assignment and made tacos.

Not bad, especially after last week! Nonetheless, I need to see something from the weird horny cheese lady before I can rank her any higher.

10. (-1) Sam Kang

AKA: Ness. Two Luggages.

Quickfire finish: Bottom three.

Elimination Challenge finish: Beat Evelyn 4-1 in round six.

Ness here seemed to cement his “Lovable Weirdo” status as a personality this week, though his actual performance was all over the place. He got a nice little human interest package during the quickfire challenge, revealing that he had given up his apartment to be on the show and now had “two luggages” to his name. Can you imagine that? All of your belongings packed into two luggages?

His “watery” queso received poor marks (he himself described it as “sort of a mornay-queso hybrid”; never a good sign when you can’t decide on a designation for your dish) and landed him in the bottom three.

After that, he masterminded his team’s poor decision to stick Monique’s dessert into the third-to-last round in the hopes of achieving a knockout victory. I suppose it didn’t sound so stupid at the time, but it backfired when Monique ended up pitted against Nick’s strong and also course-appropriate potlikker, to which she ended up losing 4-1. That also meant their team had no dessert for the dessert course and had to serve… uh, hummus. Oops.

Yet in terms of actual cooking, Sam’s roasted sweet potato with anchovy-scallion yogurt sauce actually sounded both reasonably tasty and appropriate to the challenge. He trounced Evelyn 4-1. Who knows with this guy. He’s the wild card. Unevenness is the nature of the wild card.

Notable Critique:

“This was something alluring that I kept going back to.” -Gail Simmons

9. (-3) Evelyn Garcia

AKA: Cuddles. Rosie the Pivoter.

Quickfire finish: Top 3.

Elimination Challenge finish: 3-2 loss to Sam in round six.

The only native Houstonian in the competition proved that she can cook a mean queso (adobo con queso with taro chips, yes please), which is as it should be. But once again I have to question the judges’ lack of follow up this episode. Evelyn had planned on a rice noodle dish with turmeric-spiced sea bass (noodles! thank Christ one chef here at least considered the possibility of noodles!) but the noodles apparently “had too much bite” and were “coming out slimy.”

PIVOT ALERT! This led Evelyn to scrap the noodles in favor of using a combination of everyone else’s cooked grains. Mmm, grain melange, delicious.

My question: maybe things have changed since I worked in an Asian restaurant, but rice noodles… don’t you just… soak them in hot water? Why was she unable to cook rice noodles? And why didn’t a single judge question the idea of not being able to cook rice noodles? Was there no flour there? Was there no time to whip up some flour-based noodles? Why were noodles such a non-starter with all of these chefs and how was this not even a question come judging time?

I’m torn between ranking Evelyn higher, since this was really just one mildly poor decision and she still didn’t lose that badly, or lower because… how hard is it to cook rice noodles?

Notable Critique:

“This was just one too many things in a bowl.” -Padma

8. (-6) Jackson Kalb

AKA: Magoo. Andrew Lunk. Leghorn. Lurch. Bateman.

Quickfire finish: Dead last.

Elimination Challenge finish: Beat Sarah 5-0 in round seven.

Jackson here nearly got himself killed by calling queso “a gooey vat of nasty cheese” in the heart of queso country (GET A ROPE). His idea to dunk on the rest of these plebs was to cook a “crispy queso,” which in practice looked like an unchewable disc of desiccated mozzarella with another starch on top.

The judges didn’t get it. Irma Galvan went out of her way to say that his was the worst. Padma seemed not just disappointed, but downright offended. You better take your ass to Timbuktu if you can’t appreciate nacho cheese, man, this is America.

In the elimination round, the-still-largely-smell-blind Jackson (thanks, COVID), was one of two former Johnny Football heroes among the competitors. He also gave some Patrick Bateman vibes, silently stewing over Stephanie getting to cook with white rice rather than him. It all worked out though, as his polenta cake easily triumphed over Sarah’s Hummus Pile Dessert Disaster, even if the judges did take pains to point out that Jackson’s was only their second-favorite dessert.

Notable Critique:

“Good thing you didn’t go against another dessert.”

7. (+1) Monique Feybesse

AKA: Pebbles Flintstone. Henrietta Hawk.

Quickfire finish: Middle.

Elimination Challenge finish: Lost 4-1 to Nick in round five.

I had to Google “Foghorn Leghorn’s small loud chicken friend” to come up with Monique’s latest nickname, just to give you an idea of where I’m at right now. But you get it, Monique is a bit of a spitfire. She practically screamed “You’re gonna cook chickpeas?!” in horror at Sarah, leading Sarah to second guess herself and nearly go home (strategy?).

As for Monique’s own food, she made Biko, a Filipino rice dessert, and lost a narrow decision to one of the best dishes, cooked by Nick, probably on account of her team unwisely choosing her dessert to go before the dessert round. Other than that she seemed pretty solid, and her food sounded great. I hope she leans into Filipino food, because it seems vastly underrepresented in the American restaurant landscape.

Notable Critique:

“These were both fantastic dishes.”

6. (-3) Robert Hernandez

AKA: Damian.

Quickfire finish: Bottom three.

Elimination Challenge finish: Beat Jae 3-2 in round three.

I’m struggling with nicknames for Robert here, on account of he reminds me of at least six people I grew up with but, like, “John” doesn’t really work for a nickname. Anyway, it seemed a little worrisome that the Mexican-Salvadoran guy landed in the bottom three for a queso. His Oaxacan queso with fried white asparagus sounded really good, but apparently the queso came out watery and the asparagus didn’t pair well. Seems like a forgivable mistake though, all in all.

In the elimination challenge he served up a “wild mushroom taco with butterbean puree and two types of salsa,” which, even being vegetarian, seemed like one of the only dishes well-suited to a football game challenge.

“Mushroom tacos are my favorite tacos,” Padma gushed, always a good sign.

5. (even) Ashleigh Shanti

AKA: Moonjuice.

Quickfire finish: Middle

Elimination Challenge finish: Beat Luke 4-1 in round two.

Before the football challenge, Ashleigh revealed that she used to be in “all-star cheerleading,” which makes a lot of sense. The popular kids always make the best granola hipsters later in life.

Other than that, Ashleigh is still a bit of a question mark in this competition, consistently flying under the radar while getting largely positive reviews. This week she cooked a hot farro and quinoa porridge with a teff and turkey meatball on top, garnished with a nice little salad. It looked pretty good, fit both her brand (“Afro-lacchian!”) and the challenge, and the judges liked it. Firing on all cylinders.

Of course it probably didn’t need to be all that great to beat Luke’s room-temperature pumpkin disc with sea slime on top. Nonetheless, Ashleigh seems well-positioned to take a run at the top.

4. (+3) Jo Chan

AKA: Sarge. Smiles.

Quickfire finish: Middle.

Elimination Challenge finish: Beat Stephanie 5-0 in round four.

Sarge is kind of like if Melissa King had a reverse Office Space hypnosis that made her super serious all the time. But the military precision seems to be paying off for Jo (who explained that her family is ethnically Chinese, but culturally Filipino in this episode) whose black garlic barley congee scored her an easy victory over Stephanie’s broken rice with meat-free sadbeans this week.

The black garlic was a late addition to the dish, which Padma went on to call “in-TEG-ral” to it. It’s rare that a last-minute spice addition ends up paying off on this show.

3. (-2) Buddha Lo

AKA: Mr. International. Big Pun.

Quickfire Finish: Middle.

Elimination Challenge finish: Lost 4-1 to Damarr in round one.

Buddha, who was a high finisher in last week’s episode, didn’t do anything especially special to warrant a number three spot in this week’s rankings, but… call it a hunch (he also revealed that “Buddha” is actually a nickname, making my nicknames somewhat redundant). How could I not like the guy who made “Nacho Average Spring Roll” for the queso round? Thank God someone is bringing the food puns this season.

That was a great pun and a decent idea (spring roll as a queso vehicle? I’m for it), but the fact that he also put guacamole in it probably kept him out of the top three. I love queso and I love guacamole, but guacamole queso? That’s gonna be a no from me, dog. Throw something spicy and acidic in there instead to cut the creaminess.

But Australians not knowing much about Mexican food is both understandable and part of their charm (I was served a chicken taco with mayonnaise in it Down Under some time in the early aughts). In the elimination round he served a mujadarra, about which I know even less than Australians know about Mexican food.

Buddha ended up losing his round to Damarr, but it wasn’t a huge loss and Damarr was the eventual winner. Buddha still looks like a relative favorite to me.

2. (+8) Nick Wallace

AKA: Domingo. Chocolate Mormon.

Quickfire finish: Top 3.

Elimination Challenge finish: Beat Monique 4-1 in round five.

Nick this week revealed that he has six children, all of whom’s names begin with the letter N, which is the most Mormon thing I’ve ever heard. Are we sure he’s from Mississippi and not Salt Lake City? Check his backyard for a trampoline (all Mormons have trampolines, you could bounce across Utah without ever touching the ground).

Anyway, if you want to charge up these rankings, scoring top finishes in both challenges is a good way to do it. In the Quickfire, Nick served beet chips with a surf-and-turf queso, made with pork belly and crab, the rare incredibly complicated queso that actually sounds good.

For the Elimination Challenge, I was sort of hoping he’d take another crack at the beef-and-dumplings dish he screwed up in episode one. Dumplings are carbs, after all, even if most these sons of bitches have apparently forgotten it. Plus I have a feeling Nick can do that dish better.

Instead he cooked some purple potato in “potlikker” (bean or greens broth, basically). Tom tasted Nick’s pork neck broth and Nick and the rest of the gang were trying to interpret Tom’s sphynx-like reaction. In retrospect, I think it was something along the lines of “Hot damn that’s a tasty pork neck!” (I use pork necks in my pozole broth, that’s your free Vince Tip for the day).

The other team put up their champion, Monique, but his pork neck potatoes spiced with “Nick’s 26” (yes, nick apparently has his own branded spice blend) cut through her like a scythe through stalks of wheat. Nick’s prospects are looking up.

1. (+10) Damarr Brown

AKA: James Beard. Catchphrase.

Quickfire finish: Winner.

Elimination Challenge finish: 4-1 over Buddha in round 1, Winner.

Notable Quote: “I’m putting up dirty farro against Buddha, whose probably gonna have something smoking, and floating, and invisible on his plate. ”

Didn’t I tell you Damarr was going to be this season’s go-to guy for a glib soundbite? You don’t cast a guy this low-key and soft-spoken unless his quip game is strong. And clearly it is. And apparently his food game is stronger, pulling off the double win and jumping him up 10 spots this week.

Where everyone else went complicated with their queso, Damarr went simple but smart, pairing his pretty straightforward queso with a raw serrano pepper as a dipping vehicle. A move that makes people think “why didn’t I think of that” is always the best kind of innovation. It’s like when you dip a celery stick in your bleu cheese after the Buffalo wings are gone, only with a spicy kick. Brilliant. The judges loved it, the crowd went wild, the rest of the contestants carried Damarr out of the kitchen on their shoulders while he waved a poblano like a royal scepter.

I knew the elimination challenge was wrapped up as soon as Damarr said “dirty farro with chicken thighs and chicken livers.” Sometimes you just know a good dish when you hear one. Where everyone else seemed to overthink things, Damarr seems like he thought things just enough. It’s nowhere near a lock after just two episodes, but Damarr has the momentum.

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Read the rest of our Top Chef Power Rankings here. Vince Mancini is on Twitter.

The ladies of The View recently trashed Kim Kardashian‘s business advice for women, and the world could surely use their followup comments on this next Kim K. subject. (Fingers crossed!) To briefly recap, Whoopi Goldberg was only one of many people who weren’t impressed by Kim essentially telling women that they could be wildly successful (via Variety), if only they would do this: “Get your f*cking ass up and work. It seems like nobody wants to work these days.”

Kim’s work, besides reality TV (The Kardashians will premiere in April on Hulu), is to ostensibly design and promote her SKIMS clothing line. And Kim doesn’t realize that her existing wealth and celebrity-lawyer father are what have made it possible to sell very impractical designs that it’s hard to imagine wearing. Case in point: SKIMS posted a new array of crotchless catsuits on Instagram. Kim modeled a design, which you can see below (from a few angles), but here’s the outfit that’s attracting the most “wtf”-style remarks (for understandable reasons).

As Page Six notes, this is SKIMS’ “first open-crotch offering,” and what a debut. Billed as a design that “hugs your curves and compliments your confidence,” people are taking notice in a way that may not have been intended. Well, that’s at least the case for the “In case you need to pass gas. Perfect for the occasion” comment. And then the utility-based mockery really kicks in: “It’s giving quickie.”

That’s not the only option for (dis)comfort in catsuit wearing. This outfit leaves the crotch area open, but the purpose is defeated if one wears the accompanying panties underneath, right? “Why do we need this?” one user asked, and another got super practical: “How do you wash your hands in these?” It’s a fair point.

And here are the versions modeled by Kim (and her selective angles).

Milo Winslow was a trans rights advocate in Lincoln, Nebraska. Winslow, who was 30, passed away on March 3. He made a name for himself recently on TikTok where he spoke candidly to his 19,000 followers about his transition and his advocacy work for trans rights. He was the only trans person to testify in support of Lincoln City Council’s Fairness Ordinance to expand protection for the LGBTQ+ community.

The intersection of mental health and advocacy is not talked about much outside of advocacy circles. And that’s part of why it’s so important for us to tell Milo’s story, the legacy he leaves behind and what we can do to ensure other vulnerable people can live happy, safe and healthy lives.

The ordinance would update Title 11, which is a city code that concerns equal opportunity. There were multiple changes to the Fairness Ordinance, but the one that Winslow was specifically advocating for concerned inclusion and sexual orientation and gender expression. This would deem transgender and nonconforming people as protected members of the community against discrimination. The ordinance passed 5-0, but shortly after it was passed, a referendum petition gathered more than 18,000 signatures to contest the protections. The petition only needed 4,137 signatures to rescind the ordinance or put it to a vote.

This was not Winslow’s first time testifying in support of an ordinance designed to protect members of the LGBTQ+ community from discrimination and harmful practices. In March 2021, he testified to support the ordinance that would ban conversion therapy on youth. Winslow was known for his conversation style advocacy, connecting with listeners on a deeper level and engaging with them with honesty and empathy. His friend Sarah Cohen Walker said he would “meet people where they were, finding ways to help them understand.”

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See on Instagram

Walker highlighted Winslow’s heartfelt online content and his style of presenting “in a way that brings people along. To lead with the heart. I think leading with the heart is the hard work that a lot of people don’t have patience for.”

Another of his friends, Khalisha Casey, told the Lincoln Journal Star that Winslow experienced a lot of trauma in his life including not being accepted by his family when he came out as gay before he began transitioning. Once he began to transition, the support he found in the gay community waned, leaving him isolated once again until he was accepted by friends he met through his advocacy work.

See on Instagram

It was a devastating blow to Winslow when more than 18,000 people signed the petition to contest Lincoln City Council’s ordinance that he had fought hard to support. He took to TikTok in tears to express his disbelief and exasperation at the whole ordeal. He made a follow-up video explaining that it was too emotionally taxing and he would be taking a step back from advocacy work. He cited not feeling that he had the support system he needed to continue that work.

The next day, Milo Winslow succumbed to his depression. Tributes on TikTok continue to pour in, while his closest friends mourn his loss in private but continue to push his message out into the world. A GoFundMe has been set up in Winslow’s memory and the donations will go to a local organization that supports and advocates for trans/nonbinary/gender-expansive individuals and families.

If you are a member of the LGBTQ+ community and struggling, you can reach out to The Trevor Project at 1-866-488-7386.

If you are having thoughts about taking your own life, or know of anyone who is in need of help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (273-8255) or text “HOME” to the Crisis Text Line: 741741.

While the hype was certainly greater for the matchup between the Philadelphia 76ers and the Brooklyn Nets on Thursday evening, the second half of the NBA’s nationally televised doubleheader also featured real intrigue. The Golden State Warriors, led by Stephen Curry, traveled to Denver to face Nikola Jokic and the Nuggets in a quick rematch of a tilt that also took place on Monday in Denver.

That game was a makeup for a COVID postponement from earlier this season and Curry did not play when the Nuggets picked up a seven-point win, and a young fan was distraught by his absence.

In short order, it became clear that the Warriors would make things right with the youngster, making it up to her with four tickets for the rematch. Not only did that happen, but Curry made sure to meet with her before tipoff.

This is a touching moment to say the least, as she is clearly overwhelmed in meeting her favorite player. The emotions are running high, but Curry gives her an autograph, takes a photo, and makes sure to induce a smile through those happy tears along the way.

Of course, the Warriors made a strategic decision in holding Curry out of Monday’s game and, in the long run, that is probably the right move. Those decisions can have an impact on fans, though, and Golden State did the right thing in making this moment happen and providing a life-long memory for a dedicated fan.