Month: March 2022

The Los Angeles Lakers have become the easiest target for NBA jokes this season, as the preseason favorites in the West have been a disaster thus far, finding themselves in a battle just to make the play-in tournament at 28-35.

Saturday night was one of the high points of the Lakers season, though, as LeBron James erupted for 56 points in a primetime ABC showdown against the Golden State Warriors — who are currently mired in their own skid. LeBron’s herculean effort should’ve given the Lakers one night of reprieve from jokes, but that message didn’t make its way to 30 Rockefeller Plaza where Colin Jost set himself up for a pretty incredible Laker punchline.

Saturday Night Live’s Weekend Update took on the Russian invasion of Ukraine, highlighting how many were confused at why Russia’s more advanced and powerful army was getting slowed by lesser technology, which gave a natural chance to roast the Lakers.

A situation like the tragic events happening in Ukraine always make for a fine line for Weekend Update, but this seems to be about as well as you can do to stick the landing on a joke about it. Even Lakers fans probably gave this one the Alonzo Mourning reaction, as it’s painfully on point.

Dua Lipa is nearly halfway through her Future Nostalgia tour, which finally kicked off this year after multiple delays due to the pandemic. Alas, she’s faced some other dilemmas. The singer was recently sued by Florida reggae band Atrikal Sound System after they accused her of stealing “Levitating” from their 2017 song “Live Your Life.” Now, Lipa has received a second lawsuit over the same song.

According to Billboard, songwriters L. Russell Brown and Sandy Linzer filed a complaint in Manhattan federal court, accusing Lipa of stealing “Levitating” from the 1979 song “Wiggle And Giggle All Night” and the 1980 song “Don Diablo.” Brown and Linzer claim that the opening melody on “Levitating” is a “duplicate” of the melody on their songs. “Defendants have levitated away plaintiffs’ intellectual property,” the lawyers for Brown and Linzer wrote in their complaint. “Plaintiffs bring suit so that defendants cannot wiggle out of their willful infringement.” They added, “In seeking nostalgic inspiration, defendants copied plaintiffs’ creation without attribution.”

The new lawsuit also names Lipa’s label Warner Records and DaBaby, who appeared on a remix of the song. “Levitating” was one of the singles from Dua Lipa’s stellar sophomore album Future Nostalgia and it peaked at No. 2 on the Billboard 200.

Dua Lipa is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Last month, Snoop Dogg acquired Death Row Records, the label where he began his rap career back in 1992. With the acquisition, Snoop owns the rights to the label’s vast catalogue, including albums by Daz Dillinger and Kurupt. However, titles like Dr. Dre’s The Chronic, Tupac’s All Eyez On Me, and The Don Killuminati: The 7 Day Theory were originally said to be left out of the deal. But during a later interview with TIDAL’s Elliott Wilson, Snoop claimed that he did obtain the rights to at least one of them.

That album is The Chronic. But now Dre’s attorney, Howard King, is refuting Snoop’s claim. “There are false reports out regarding ownership by Death Row of Dr. Dre’s The Chronic,” King said in a statement that was obtained by Complex. “Dr. Dre owns 100 percent of The Chronic.”

Late last month, it was reported that Snoop was still negotiating for the rights of The Chronic. It was initially said that the classic album would not be returned to Snoop until 2023. However, after the statement that Dre’s lawyer gave, it appears that The Chronic will not be a part of Snoop’s Death Row acquisition.

This comes after Snoop recently shared his plans to make Death Row an NFT label adding that he wants it to be the “first major in the metaverse.”

Find you someone as dedicated to you as Mike Lindell is dedicated to proving that the 2020 election was stolen from Donald Trump. It’s been almost a year-and-a-half since Americans overwhelmingly voted for current president Joe Biden, and while some of the party have tried to move on, others continue to assert that a complete lack of evidence shouldn’t deter them from perpetuating the “Big Lie.” But no none is as dogged about it as Mike Lindell.

The MyPillow salesman has effectively gambled his vast bedwear fortune on a claim he’s been unable to remotely prove. He’s held sparsely-attended protests and online conferences. He’s threatened to hack into Fox News. He’s even gotten himself sued. But now he has a new plan: he’s filing a class action lawsuit against “all machines.”

At a rally for Arizona GOP gubernatorial candidate Kari Lake, another Big Lie cheerleader, Lindell talked about how, on top of everything else he’s done to promote his nonsense claims — presumably while also running a pillow business — he’s been tirelessly planning to sue technology, or something.

“We’ve been working on it five months,” a typically sweaty and stammering Lindell told the crowd. “It’s a class action lawsuit against all machines. And that they’re defective devices, okay?” He said he’s teamed up with lawyers and “county commissioners and county clerks” and that together they’re going to “get rid of these machines once and for all for any election in history.”

Lindell may be talking about suing the voting machine companies, one of whom is suing him. Then…are we all going back to hand-counting votes? Lindell’s plan was predictably vague. But he’s spent five months working on it with hundreds of adult humans, so surely his plan his air-tight!

(Via The Daily Beast)

Donald J. Trump was president of the United States for four years. He had the nuclear codes. He could have started a world war. He didn’t, but he could again, should he make good on teases that he may run again in 2024. (Or maybe a third presidential campaign will flame out as his Twitter clone seems to be doing.) So when he seemed to joke to a crowd about a hare-brained scheme to destroy Russia and then blame it on China, it may not have really been a joke.

As per CBS News, Trump spoke at a function in New Orleans on Saturday, during which he weighed in once more on Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. He’s already repeatedly praised president Vladimir Putin for his aggressive attempt at war. While he appears to have eased back on that, he did double down on another of his controversial stances: that NATO, the alliance of North American and European countries created in the wake of WWII, is bunk and the U.S. should pull out of it.

If that wasn’t bad enough, wait till you hear his plan to turn Russia and China on each other.

As first reported by The Washington Post’s Josh Dawsey, Trump told the crowd that America should “put the Chinese flag” on F-22 planes and “bomb the s*it out” out of Russia. “And then we say, China did it, we didn’t do, China did it, and then they start fighting with each other and we sit back and watch.”

Trump could have simply be joking. But the thing about Trump is he doesn’t kid. His “jokes” are always about him getting a sense of how far he can push things, what he can get away with. Throw in his infamous ignorance of geography and world politics and there’s a chance, had he not lost re-election by over seven million votes, he could have been sitting in the Oval Office, floating this cartoonish plan to exasperated military leaders. Meanwhile, this must be heartbreaking news for one of Trump’s besties, Vladimir Putin.

(Via CBS News)

In a perfect world, Charli XCX would have already performed on Saturday Night Live. The singer was booked to take to Studio 8H back in December, but her set was canceled due to COVID concerns. At the time, Charli said that she was “devastated and heartbroken” by the news, but she promised that she would return. True to her word, she did so last night, taking the stage to perform “Baby” and “Beg For You” from her upcoming album, Crash.

Both performances err on the seductive side, as Charli danced and twirled her way around the stage all while showing some skin to viewers. “Baby” and “Beg For You” are two of four singles that Charli has released so far from Crash. “Baby” serves as its latest single while “Beg For You” is a track Charli released back in January, with a feature from Rina Sawayama. The remaining singles from the album are “New Shapes” with Caroline Polachek and Christine And The Queens and “Good Ones.”

Charli’s performance comes after she dropped out of an NFT festival after she received backlash.

You can watch the performances of “Baby” and “Beg For You” in the videos above.

Crash is out 3/18 via Atlantic Records. You can pre-save it here.

Charli XCX is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

The worst thing Ron DeSantis did recently wasn’t bully a bunch of students because they were wearing masks. The Florida governor and Trump foe has proudly advanced the Parental Rights in Education bill, colloquially known as the “Don’t Say Gay” bill. Should it pass the state Senate, it will restrict mentioning homosexuality or transgender issues to young students in public schools, and at a time when there is ever-increasing acknowledgement of LGTBQ+ issues.

Kate McKinnon had some thoughts on the issue. The SNL MVP swung by Weekend Update on the show’s Oscar Isaac-hosted episode, where she at first feigned a misinterpretation of the bill.

“I heard about this law, and I think it’s amazing,” McKinnon joked. “When I was in middle school, in the ’90s, I was kind of tortured by the constant use of the word ‘gay.’ Like, you know, ‘That’s so gay,’ or ‘Ew, you’re gay.’ It made me feel horrible. And to hear that Ron DeSantis has taken a stand and said, ‘No! You cannot say ‘gay’ in school anymore!’ I’m just so jazzed. And in Florida!”

Co-host Colin Jost then explained to her what the bill actually entailed. And McKinnon’s mood changed. Shades of Cecily Strong’s brilliant “abortion clown” routine from last year, McKinnon broke down how cruel the law was while being unable to stop herself from dropping gay terms.

“I am deeply gay — sorry, concerned. Deeply concerned,” McKinnon said. “It just feels like this is going to make kids gay and trans ― sorry, depressed and suicidal.”

She then twisted the knife. “If the ’90s were right, and ‘gay’ means ‘bad,’ then this is the gayest law I have ever seen,” McKinnon charged, before launching into a rendition of Deep Purple’s “Smoke in the Water” in which the only lyrics were the word “gay.”

You can watch McKinnon satirize DeSantis’ proposed law above.

Late last week, around the time Russian forces were shelling an enormous nuclear power plant in Ukraine, something finally dawned on Tucker Carlson: Vladimir Putin may not be such a stand-up guy. He — as well as Fox News colleague Laura Ingraham and former president Donald Trump — had been singing his praises, even as he invaded one of its neighboring nations. When Carlson realized the errors of his ways, he knew who to blame for his ignorance: Joe Biden and Kamala Harris.

The Fox News hosts’ whoopsidaisy was the inevitable subject of SNL’s latest Cold Open. Last week, the sketch show delivered a somber ode to the embattled people of Ukraine. On this week’s Oscar Isaac-hosted episode, they dug into those who sided with Russia, at least until they realized it was unpopular.

The sketch presented a Fox News special entitled “Ukrainian Invasion Celebration Spectacular,” recorded live from Mar-a-Lago. The hosts were Alex Moffat’s Tucker (who describes himself as “like if a pair of boat shoes came to life”) and Kate McKinnon’s Ingraham (“When I watch Harry Potter, I root for Voldemort”).

The pair acknowledged that they’d gotten into some trouble for heaping praise upon an aggressive world leader, all while slagging off Ukraine’s brave president Volodymyr Zelensky. “I kept saying we should be more worried about our own border getting invaded by Mexico,” Moffat’s Tucker said. “But in my defense, I am racist, so I thought that was true.”

There were guests. One of them was Mar-a-Lago’s most famous resident, Trump himself, who spends his post-presidential days living there, ranting to strangers. As played once more by James Austin Johnson, he launches into snaky tangents. One begins with him discussing Rihanna and ends with him talking to whales. By sketch’s end he was serenading Putin from afar with a chaotic rendition of “My Funny Valentine.”

You can watch the sketch — honestly not too different from real life — in the video above.

Colby Covington (17-3) coasted to win with a dominant decision victory over Jorge Masvidal in the main event of UFC 272 from T-Mobile Arena in Las Vegas.

Covington and Masvidal exchanged blows early when an errant eye poke drew the ire of the latter. As Masvidal complained to the ref, Covington charged in, gained position against the cage, and took his opponent to the mat. Covington threatened chokes from Masvidal’s back before moving into almost full mount. Masvidal escaped the threat and made his way back to his feet before the round ended.

Masvidal opened the second round with a chopping leg kick that wobbled Covington for the second time in the fight. Covington continued to walk Masvidal down with his relentless pace, but Masvidal hung in for a competitive end to the second frame.

In the third, Covington continued to track Masvidal around the cage, peppering him with jabs before shooting for takedowns. He took Masvidal to the ground, moving into full guard and damaging him with heavy elbows. Every time Masvidal scrambled out, Covington was one step ahead, smothering him for a dominant middle round.

Covington stuck to his game plan in round four, pressuring Masvidal back against the cage and mixing in strikes with takedown attempts. Masvidal hurt Covington badly with more than a minute left in the round, rocking the former interim champ with a big right hand that dropped him to his knee. Covington recovered and brought the fight back to Masvidal, moving back to his comfort zone and settling for the fifth and final round.

Ready to end the fight, Covington opened the final round with an aggressive slew of strikes before earning a takedown with ease and moving to Masvidal’s back. He controlled the round and coasted to yet another win.

Masvidal came into Saturday night following back-to-back losses to welterweight champion Kamaru Usman. Covington likewise has lost twice to Usman, with his second coming at the tail end of 2021.

But the main event at UFC 272 was much more than just two opponents trying to find their respective ways back into the win column. The duo went from roommates to a bitter rivalry that involved verbal jabs and, eventually, punches thrown inside the Octagon. Even after the fight, 25 minutes wasn’t enough for them to squash their rivalry.

It’s not clear what’s next for Masvidal or Covington, but the latter called out Dustin Poirier as his next opponent.

The Los Angeles Lakers have underperformed this season, and in recent weeks, things have become more and more urgent as they’ve fallen down the standings in the Western Conference. On Saturday, the team played host to the Golden State Warriors, with Magic Johnson saying on ESPN before the game that the team had to pick up a win.

LeBron James must have overheard Johnson while he said that, because the Lakers star put forth one of his best performances in the purple and gold. Los Angeles came out on top, 124-116, behind a 56-point evening by James, who pitched in 10 points, three assists, and a block.

It was obvious from early in the game that James was in for a big night, as he entered the locker room at halftime with 26 points.

James just kept scoring and scoring, putting Los Angeles on his back while Steph Curry and the Warriors’ bench tore apart the Laker defense. His 40th point came when he put the ball on the deck and barreled his way to the rim, throwing down a one-handed reverse dunk.

While he isn’t always a dangerous three-point shooter, James has punished teams from downtown in his career when he gets into a groove. He knocked down six of his 11 attempts from three, including one that got him right onto the cusp of a 50-point night after Jeff Van Gundy said “heat checks rarely work.”

He got to the 50-point mark with a layup, and a little bit later, electrified the crowd at Crypto.com Arena with an alley-oop from Malik Monk.

Not only did James score a ton, but he managed to do so efficiently, going 19-for-31 from the field. His performance made him the fourth player — joining Kobe Bryant, Jamal Crawford, and Michael Jordan — to score at least 50 points in a game after turning 37. He was unable to get the record for most points in a game after hitting that age, though, and funny enough, the record was set in the same building in which he played on Saturday night, as Bryant famously scored 60 points in his final game before retiring.