Month: March 2022

Glass Animals’ hit single “Heat Waves” is their first song to ever appear on the Billboard Hot 100 chart and what a debut it’s been. After spending over a year on the chart, the song climbed to No. 1 for the first time a few weeks ago. “Heat Waves” has stayed on top ever since and that run continues today, as on the new chart dated April 2, the song is No. 1 for a fourth week.

“Heat Waves” is making its way up a historical list, as it is now tied for the ninth-longest No. 1 reign among songs by British groups, behind songs by The Beatles, The Police, Bee Gees, UB40, The Beatles again, Wings, The Beatles again, and The Beatles again.

Elsewhere on this week’s chart, Justin Bieber’s “Ghost” has risen to No. 5, making it his 20th top-5 single, which ties Bieber for the eighth-most of all time, with Michael Jackson and Stevie Wonder. That’s not even Bieber’s only song in the top 5 this year, as his and Kid Laroi’s “Stay” is holding strong at No. 2.

It was a big week for Doja Cat, too, as “Woman” has ascended to No. 9. This is the song’s first time in the top 10, making it her fifth top-10 hit after “Say So,” “34+35,” “Kiss Me More,” and “Need To Know.”

We’re living in the golden age of phallic shenanigans, and no one is happier than Matthew Mungle. “Hollywood’s number one penis-maker,” as the Guardian described him, has made prosthetic penises for projects ranging from Red Rocket to Shameless to Step Brothers, which required Michelangelo-level detailing.

“The testicles I made for Step Brothers were quite specific, because he pulled them out of his trousers and rubbed them on a drum kit,” he told the Guardian. “They had to move like free-floating testicles, rather than rigid miniature space hoppers. So I decided that we’d make actual testes that we put into a sack, which was very thin.”

Mungle also designed Chris Hemsworth’s fake “hammer” for 2015’s Vacation, which he’s been told the MCU star kept in a high-traffic spot in his house. “I made the penis for Chris Hemsworth in Vacation,” he said. “According to someone who worked on that movie, they put the, er, unit in an acrylic box and presented it to Chris at the end. Apparently, he was so proud of it, he had it on his mantle, right next to Thor’s hammer.”

It’s unknown where the penis (which is 10 inches long because Hemsworth made the “normal-size [eight inch] penis look small”) is now, but I like to think it’ll make a return in Thor 4. That’s the real love and thunder.

(Via the Guardian)

For a lot of people, Fortnite is a meme game. It has the reputation of being a game that is dominated by children who spend all day endlessly repeating the dances and emotes while wearing pinata llamas on their shirts. In reality, Fortnite is one of the most fun Battle Royale games out there.

Yes, children love it but so do teenagers, adults, and anyone that enjoys gaming. It controls extremely well, has good movement, and there is more to do than just drop into circles and shoot each other. Fortnite is huge because the developers over at Epic Games have endlessly supported it and tweaked the game. There is so much to the world of Fortnite that goes beyond the average battle royale and it’s an extremely impressive game. It’s also never been more fun to play than it is right now.

That may be a bit of a surprise for the average person, or someone that hasn’t played Fortnite for a couple of years because most games reach a peak and then eventually sputter out. It takes a truly rare experience for a five-year-old game to be more fun now than ever before. In the case of Fornite though, it really was thanks to one decision. The developers of the game decided to take a risk and remove building from the game. The entire basis of Fortnite, the thing that made it unique when it first entered early access in 2017, was that it gave player’s the ability to build in the middle of combat. Now, that feature has been removed and rumors are that it’s going to be a permanent option in the long run.

Before getting into why this is happening, it first needs to be recognized how extreme a decision this actually was by the developers. When Fortnite came out, the Battle Royale genre was still in its infancy. This was before Apex Legends or Warzone, and most games were trying to imitate and capitalize on the success of Public Battlegrounds. Fortnite’s main hook was not that it let players dance, or do funny emotes, but the building. Players could put up walls to protect themselves, create stairs to climb mountains, or utilize it in a fire fight to gain an edge. Being a builder was an essential part of the Fortnite experience, but unfortunately, this would end up being to the game’s detriment in the long run.

Fortnite is now the only game where someone can use Spider-Man to shoot Batman, while Naruto is off in the corner dancing to an Ariana Grande song. The universe that it has created is ridiculous and absurdly fun. There are side quests, NPCs, and endless things to do besides shoot each other. It attracts players of all kinds to it because of everything that has been crammed into this universe and for the first few hours, it’s really fun. Unfortunately, as players moved through the experience they all come across the same issue. Building is no longer just putting up some walls or a staircase. It is integral to winning a match and the players who are masters at it have created a skill gap that feels unreachable and honestly pushes away new players, or anyone that doesn’t have the time to learn it. There is nothing less fun in a Fornite match than catching an opposing squad off-guard and then watching them build a skyscraper in front of you in less than five seconds.

As players grew sick of the building, they moved instead to other options like Warzone or Apex Legends where the fun and skill comes from the game’s movement rather than if someone can memorize the button inputs to build faster than their opponent, or if they have more resources, or enough bullets to shoot through the walls they’ve built. So what if you took the fun movement abilities of those games, slapped them on Fortnite, and kept all the wacky stuff that makes the world so absurd? You get what Fornite is right now.

Alongside the removal of building, the player can now sprint, slide, and mount to make movement quicker. They can still destroy objects with mining, but this just gets objects out of the way and doesn’t lead to resources like it previously did. More importantly, the entire map has been reworked to assist the lack of building. Wide open fields aren’t as prevalent and there is a lot of natural terrain to use for cover and movement. Fights feel quick and since everything is destructible there is a constant need to keep moving. Firefights haven’t been this fun since the early stages of the game.

As a result of all these changes, Fortnite is now the best it has ever been. More importantly, it’s back to feeling like a game that anyone can get into. Everyone should be able to appreciate the absurd world that Epic Games has created here and the building felt like it was not letting players do that. Now, they can.

It’s finally time to resume the wonderful practice of music festivals, as necessary precautions due to the pandemic are thankfully abating. To that end, plenty of brand new concepts are getting announced, as music fans are itching to get back out there and hear live music from their favorite artists. And this year, country lovers in Los Angeles have quite a treat in store, with a brand new event from Goldenvoice called Palomino Festival.

Taking place on Saturday, July 9th at Brookside at the Rose Bowl, the stacked lineup includes all the modern country favorites, and some of the old guard, too. Indie country and folk legends like Jason Isbell, Nikki Lane, Paul Cauthen, and Jamie Wyatt will all be there, along with signature country music headliner, Kacey Musgraves, oh and the absolutely iconic Willie Nelson. With other great artists like Orville Peck and Valerie June rounding out the day, it’s basically a daydream for country music lovers. Check out the full lineup below and register for early access to passes right here.

Palomino Festival full lineup:

Kacey Musgraves
Willie Nelson & Family
Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit
Turnpike Troubadours
Orville Peck
Old Crow Medicine Show
Valerie June
Charley Crockett
Paul Cauthen
Nikki Lane
Morgan Wade
Sierra Ferrell
Langhorne Slim
Amythyst Kiah
Sierra Hull
Low Cut Connie
Jamie Wyatt
Ian Noe
Logan Ledger
And very special guests The Compton Cowboys

Wow, what a night, huh? And to think, right up until “the event” happened, I had been all set to write about the Oscar telecast’s predictably disastrous attempts at populism. Before the slap, the wildest things that happened at the Academy Awards were a tribute to The Flash in Justice League and a 30-second clip from Army Of The Dead.

God bless Will Smith and Chris Rock for saving us all from that piece. Instead, Chris Rock made a joke about Jada Pinkett Smith being in line to star in GI Jane 2 — “Jada, I love you, ‘G.I. Jane 2,’ can’t wait to see it” — about which Will Smith seemed to laugh at first. Jada Pinkett, meanwhile, very clearly made a “that wasn’t funny” face, after which Will Smith, sitting in the front row, stormed the stage and…

…wait, did he just smack Chris Rock?

The hit itself looked like a staged punch at first, or at least that was how I interpreted it. Until ABC dropped the sound — which we later found out consisted of Rock saying “Wow, Will Smith just slapped the shit out of me,” followed by Will Smith bellowing “keep my wife’s name out your f*cking mouth.”

Since then all available evidence showed it was indeed a real slap. That Will Smith took offense to what was apparently a joke about Jada Pinkett being bald (could’ve also been a joke about her looking buff or being in sub-par movies), which, given how public she has been with her struggles with alopecia could be considered a beyond-the-pale joke about a medical condition. (Is there anything the Smith family hasn’t been public with? Oh right, Scientology!)

And fair enough. It definitely wasn’t a great joke. One of the funnier parts of this whole situation to me was that I imagine Chris Rock probably had a whole list of meaner jokes about the Smith family that he wanted to say — about Will and Jada’s famously open marriage and her affairs, about their annoying kids and alleged Scientology — before taking what he probably imagined as the moral high road, settling on a “safe” one about her being bald instead.

Poor Chris Rock can’t catch a break at the Oscars! Let us not forget, this was the same guy who in 2005 made a joke about Jude Law being in a lot of movies, that Sean Penn apparently found so offensive that he took it upon himself to get up and say that Jude Law was a really good actor, actually.

This whole incident was all but guaranteed the following day to devolve into a deeply entrenched battle of “it’s never okay to joke about someone’s disability” vs “violence is never the answer.”

I’m here to say, it really doesn’t need to. This was a situation that worked itself out perfectly.

Chris Rock made a bad joke. I don’t imagine even he would claim that was the edgiest joke he’d ever done. It felt more like a compromise joke, hence part of his confusion (in the words of Phil Rosenthal, “make the show you want to make, they’re gonna cancel it anyway”). I think Chris Rock would acknowledge, and most comedians realize on some level, that making jokes about people involves some risk of getting smacked. It’s part of the danger, but also part of the allure and the fun.

The way Rock then handled the slap, narrating it as it happened, staying on stage, and finishing presenting the award he was there for, made him look like an absolute pro, regardless of what one thought of the joke. Part of the reason I had a hard time believing it wasn’t staged at first was that Rock never cowered or put his hands up in a defensive posture the way one naturally does during a beating. He didn’t seem like he ever thought he was ever in legitimate danger. And after the briefest acknowledgement of what happened, he riffed right on through it and carried right on with what he was doing. The man got smacked onstage at the Oscars and finished reading the teleprompter!

It felt like Chris Rock crossed the line, Will Smith checked him for it, and Rock responded, in essence, “touché.” Neither man left humiliated, and everyone carried on. Will Smith defended his wife’s honor, and Rock cemented his reputation as a pro and a fearless comedian.

The problem with the “violence is never the answer” fundamentalists is that it assumes that what happened here involved “violence.” Chris Rock didn’t react like he was ever genuinely in fear for his safety and it didn’t seem to me like Smith intended for him to be. It seemed more like Smith just wanted to let Rock know that he crossed the line, and Rock got the message. Both men left with their dignity, Jada Pinkett seemed to get what she wanted (I guess?), and everyone got something better to talk about the next day than a clip of Johnny Depp in Minimata somehow making it to the telecast. This was the rare moment of society working the way it should! It should be celebrated as such.

As for the joke, it wasn’t great. And yeah you shouldn’t joke about peoples’ disabilities (or, given that Chris Rock maybe possibly didn’t know about the disability, a Black woman’s hair). I imagine even Chris Rock would probably admit that. It’s still possible to commiserate. The Smiths are one of those families that seem to want simultaneously to overshare their personal lives while declaring their personal lives off-limits to scrutiny. This was a family that went public about their open marriage (or whatever they have going on) on a talk show that Jada hosts with her mother and daughter. So to say “aw, the poor Smiths were just minding their business and some jerk got personal with them!” is a little disingenuous, even if the joke itself could fairly be deemed out of bounds.

There exists a certain category of celebrity, the details of whose personal life you’re constantly bombarded with despite never having sought out, that you can’t help but feel an oddly personal aggrievement towards. At this point, every time I see, say, a Kardashian’s name in a news story I never wanted to read in the first place, my knee-jerk reaction is to wish that they’d get hit by a bus. I don’t literally wish that, and I know it’s not a thing you should wish on people, but I feel like I’m forced to hear so much about these people so often, all completely unsolicited, that I can’t help but mentally lash out, in violent and personal ways. What other ways even are there at this point? Leave me alone about the f*cking Kardashians! I’ve tried pointing out that I don’t care politely but no one seems to be getting the message! It seems like maybe Chris Rock wanted to take a swipe at the Smith family’s overexposure in this way, but tried to dial it back a little, and ended up doing it poorly.

So then Will Smith got to get up, bellow “LEAVE MY WIFE OUT OF THIS!” and in that rare moment be justified in doing so.

This was not only perfect for the Smiths, but perfect for the telecast. Just when it felt like the hubbub over the incident had finally died down (pity Questlove, and all the winners whose big moments were immediately, inexorably, helplessly overshadowed) it started to dawn on me: Wait, Will Smith was here because he was nominated for an Oscar. Which he’s heavily favored to win. Meaning… this guy might have to go back on stage!

Suddenly I was positively thrilled for Will Smith to win an Oscar for a movie I didn’t like in which I thought he did a hammy job. Has an Oscars telecast ever felt so electric?

Almost as soon as I had the thought, Will Smith was being announced as the winner. He got back up on stage and gave a speech that felt like a surreal combination of defining moment, public breakdown, and audition for a leadership position in some future cult.

If anything made the slapping incident seem like it was possibly staged in some way, it was the way it seemed to dovetail all too perfectly with the theme of Will Smith’s acceptance speech. (Did he plan that, or is Will Smith just that good at riffing?)

Richard Williams was a fierce defender of his family. In this time in my life, in this moment, I am overwhelmed by what God is calling on me to do and be in this world. Making this film I got to protect Aunjanue Ellis, who is one of the most strongest, most delicate people I ever met. I got to protect Saniyya and Demi, the two actresses that played Venus and Serena. I’m being called on in my life to love people and to protect people and to be a river to my people.

King Richard was a weird image management exercise produced by the same family it depicts, about a controlling father who succeeded at turning his children into… well, champions if you’re being charitable, meal tickets if you’re not… and suddenly Will Smith had given himself full justification to turn the man into even more of a saint.

Richard Williams was not just a great sports dad but a “defender of his family.” Just like Will Smith, who had been anointed by God Himself to smack Chris Rock in the mouth over an unfair bald joke. (I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised that Will Smith thinks a borderline sociopathically single-minded guy who was desperate to make his kids famous is some kind of saint).

This was one of the other reasons the incident seemed like it might’ve been staged at first: Will Smith sort of always acts like he’s playing Will Smith in a play about Will Smith. (We’ll leave the patronizing language towards his actresses aside for now). He went on:

Art imitates life. I look like the crazy father, just like they said. I look like the crazy father just like they said about Richard Williams. But love will make you do crazy things.

Can I just say: smacking a guy over insulting his wife isn’t why Will Smith looks crazy, just like “loving his family too much” isn’t why people said Richard Williams was crazy. It probably more because Smith is the kind of person who uses an incident like this to call himself “a vessel of love” and “a river to my people.”

Smith went on to ask forgiveness from The Academy (for what? being God’s anointed family protector, Lawrence of Arabia and Richard Williams rolled into one?), and from his fellow nominees, and ended the speech saying “I’m hoping the Academy invites me back.”

Me too! The Academy should do more than forgive Will Smith, they should celebrate him. Actors making preposterously self-aggrandizing speeches about dubious art is exactly why many of us watch this show. All of the best actors tend towards being bizarrely comfortable having an emotional moment in front of thousands of people and a kind of pathological grandiosity.

That Will Smith, with a big assist from Chris Rock, managed to give himself plausible justification for this kind of talk was arguably one of the greatest things that has ever happened at the Academy Awards. I don’t know if Will Smith is God’s chosen vessel for love, or the chosen protector of home and hearth, but it seems fairly clear that the Fresh Prince has become King of Celebrities. Say what you will about the man, he gave us a show, which, after all, is his job. All hail King Will, the greatest celebrity who ever lived.

Vince Mancini is on Twitter. More reviews here.

After facing a PR nightmare thanks to its inability to take a more forceful, pro-active stance against Florida’s “Don’t Say Gay” bill, including pushback from some of its biggest stars, The Walt Disney Company finally issued a strong statement on Monday condemning the anti-LGBTQ+ legislation. There’s just one small problem. Disney waited until after Governor Ron DeSantis signed the bill into law on the same day. However, the House of Mouse says it will put its full weight behind efforts to have the discriminatory law repealed.

Via The Hollywood Reporter:

“Florida’s HB 1557, also known as the ‘Don’t Say Gay’ bill, should never have passed and should never have been signed into law,” a Disney spokesperson said. “Our goal as a company is for this law to be repealed by the legislature or struck down in the courts, and we remain committed to supporting the national and state organizations working to achieve that. We are dedicated to standing up for the rights and safety of LGBTQ+ members of the Disney family, as well as the LGBTQ+ community in Florida and across the country.”

Disney’s more forceful condemnation arrives on the heels of an employee walkout and a strong internal backlash from its LGBTQ+ staff and their allies. While Marvel Studios took a decisive stance against the “Don’t Say Gay” bill, and CEO Bob Chapek apologized for failing to act more strongly, Monday’s statement is easily the strongest stance by The Walt Disney Company as a whole. Naturally, the entertainment giant is already facing criticisms of being “woke” by Republicans like DeSantis, but the bill is objectively evil and Disney is in the right to challenge it. Although, maybe stepping up harder before it became a law would’ve been great. Just throwing that out there.

(Via The Hollywood Reporter)

During the Supreme Court confirmation hearings for Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson last week, Republican Senator Ted Cruz used his time at the mic to ask some asinine questions and, improve the book sales for not one, but two books about critical race theory.

Cruz, who’s probably salivating for another presidential run in 2024, lobbied some truly bonkers questions at Judge Jackson including, “Why are you so soft on child porn defendants? What’s a woman?” and the truly strange, “Are babies racist?” Naturally, all of these queries were just an excuse to seem hard-hitting as Cruz pandered to the same MAGA-supporting base that delighted in ridiculing him during Donald Trump’s run for office. It’s all quite sad, which is exactly what Cruz’s hometown paper, The Dallas Morning News, wrote in a scathing editorial dragging the Cancun frequent-flyer for his performative outrage during the hearings.

“Sen. Ted Cruz’s combative examination of Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson left little doubt that he had 2024 on his mind,” the paper wrote. “During his second crack at questioning Jackson, Cruz harped on the child porn cases, growing increasingly agitated as she accused him of cherry-picking from over a hundred criminal cases she handled. Cruz’s incessant demands for more time and better answers went on for several minutes.”

The piece also referenced a now-infamous photo of Cruz checking his phone after his time was up to see if he had any new mentions on social media before quoting fellow senators like Patrick Leahy and fellow Republican Ben Sasse. While Leahy accused Cruz of simply wanting “to get on television,” Sasse was a bit more direct with his dig.

“We should recognize that the jackassery we often see around here is partly because of people mugging for short-term camera opportunities,” the Nebraska Congressman said.

Still, for a man happy to blame his kids for a poorly-timed vacation, we have to wonder if even bad press is good press in Cruz’s eyes.

(Via The Dallas Morning News)

As Marvel’s Moon Knight gets ready to take Disney+ by storm, previews for the upcoming series have been giving off undeniably Batman-esque vibes. Oscar Isaac’s version of the character is seen leaping from rooftops, wielding a crescent moon-shaped object as a boomerang, and straight-up pounding people with his fists, which are all very Batman-like things to do. Heck, Marvel Studios head Kevin Feige has even touted the Moon Knight series as the most brutal Marvel property to date, which again, invites comparisons to the DC Comics character who was recently seen in theaters being a ruthless force of vengeance in The Batman.

That said, Batman and Moon Knight could not be more different.

Setting aside the trappings of most comic book vigilantes, who often involve skulk on the rooftops (cape optional) and smash thugs into the pavement, Moon Knight has next to nothing in common with Batman. While Bruce Wayne is a millionaire playboy who uses his vast wealth to avenge his parent’s death through a one-man war on crime, Marc Spector is a former mercenary with Dissociative Identity Disorder who is either powered by the Egyptian moon god Khonshu or cursed depending on which version of the character you’re reading. Where Batman has one secret identity, Moon Knight has several identities whose actions and motives are often hidden from the others, and might not have anything to do with stopping crime. Although, again, that depends on which source material you’re reading.

Unlike Batman, Moon Knight’s origin, costume, and even his powers have been rebooted several times in the comics due to the character not being a huge hit for Marvel like Spider-Man, The Avengers, X-Men, etc. However, with the new Disney+ series bringing the character to mainstream audiences, we may see a more permanent status-quo take form for the unusual hero.

Marvel’s Moon Knight premieres March 30 on Disney+.

Sonic the Hedgehog 2 is speeding towards theaters on April 8 and that means a lot of fun crossover events are in the works. We’ve already gotten a look at a special Xbox with some odd controllers, but the blue blur isn’t done yet. Alongside this, he’s also going to be making an appearance in a limited time Candy Crush Saga event.

From March 31 through April 4, players will be able to log on to Candy Crush to help Sonic and Tails in their quest to take back the Master Emerald from Knuckles, Robotnik, and Queen Jelly. Players will assist our favorite speedy duo with Sonic spin dash candies that will reward players with boosts and treats. To make sure this adventure feels authentic, the Candy Crush Saga team has also implemented Sonic-themed sound effects and music for our enjoyment. It just wouldn’t feel like a true Sonic game without those iconic noises and themes after all.

This is a fun partnership between the Sonic IP, the upcoming movie, and fans of Candy Crush. With Sonic being one of the most iconic video game characters ever it always made sense to have him cross over with other games. Now that he’s also the face of two movies it’s only more opportunity for people to see one of their favorite characters on the big screen.

Players who want to enjoy this Sonic-themed adventure can do so by downloading the Candy Crush Saga app on iOS or Android. It’s a limited time event and ends on April 4 so don’t wait until the movie’s out to give it a try!

The big story in Los Angeles on Sunday night was someone getting a bit too comfortable, suddenly being smacked in the face, and simply not knowing how to respond. I am speaking, of course, of the Lakers building a 23-point lead on the Pelicans in New Orleans, taking their foot off of the gas, and then not being able to get it back in gear as the Pelicans dominated the second half to win by eight points and push the Lakers down to 10th in the West, just one game up on the Spurs for the final play-in spot.

It was a dreadful loss in a season full of them, and after the game the Lakers sent out their customary final score graphic, with a caption that simply reads “Final.” and featured a picture of Wenyen Gabriel shooting next to the losing score.

It’s a model the Lakers social media team has had to follow far more often this season than they hoped, but this one garnered some added attention because a comment about how they never use a picture of LeBron in losses (even those in which he scores 39 points, like Sunday) sparked an investigation by Kenny Beecham to see if that was, in fact the case. The result is an incredible video featuring bar graphs that reveal that James, in fact, has not been used once in a loss graphic this season (and neither have Russell Westbrook or Anthony Davis), while LeBron and Russ dominate win graphics.

It’s noticeable because most teams will just put a pic of whoever up there, including stars, for loss graphics and keep it moving, but that James is never in them defies the law of averages to the point that there is no way it’s a coincidence he (and Russ) aren’t used — as an aside, poor Malik Monk.

I decided to do a little digging of my own to see how far back this goes and searched for every Lakers tweet with media that includes the word “final” and found that, while that doesn’t include every single loss it does include most of them, the last time LeBron appeared in a Lakers final score graphic from a loss was March 2019. On March 14, you see his back as Alex Caruso dribbles, and March 9, 2019 is the last time his face appears on one of these graphics.

So, it’s not as though it’s been written in stone since he arrived in L.A., but over the past three seasons, at least, when the Lakers lose, you do not see LeBron on the graphic.