Bridgerton‘s second season doesn’t have quite as much sex appeal as the first installment, but it’s still (already) broken a viewing record and has been putting earworms where they duly belong. For that reason, and even without the Duke on hand, Netflix and Shondaland have seen fit to start spinning the series off, even beyond the already planned third and fourth seasons.
Man, Lady Whistledown and her ilk are going to stay busy. That’s because there’s a Queen Charlotte spinoff in the works already, with a table reading and everything. Netflix issued a press release about the upcoming limited series that will frame itself around Charlotte’s origins, both historical and otherwise detailed. So far, there’s no title on the show, but expect to see the love life of Young Charlotte (who was forced to marry her husband) with appearances from Violet Bridgerton and Lady Danbury.
If you love Golda Rosheuvel in this role, don’t worry. She’s on board, as are Adjoa Andoh (Lady Danbury) and Ruth Gemmell (Lady Bridgerton) in their usual capacity. And stepping into the shoes of Young Queen Charlotte? That would be India Amarteifio. Do you want a photo receipt? Here you go, courtesy of Netflix.
Netflix
And since we’re already talking about Charlotte, there’s been some discussion out there on her, uh, snorting habit.
Netflix
What gives? Well, Benedict and Colin Bridgerton dig their opium, but Charlotte’s clearly into something else. It’s apparently snuff, and Charlotte does enjoy her flavored tobacco. As Golda Rosheuvel recently told Decider, though, she’s actually snorting sugar.
“I think it’s like glucose stuff. At the end of the day I’m like, yeah, wild sugar rush,” Rosheuvel told Decider. “It’s harmless, it’s fine. Absolutely harmless.” And the Queen has spoken.
Bridgerton‘s second season is currently streaming on Netflix.
Initially dropping her dark and dramatic single “Boyfriend” last month, film and TV star Dove Cameron gave fans a preview of the video last night, and now that it’s here the full visual does not disappoint. The actress is gearing up to introduce listeners to her mature new sound, and it sounds like “Boyfriend” is just the beginning of a new era for the multi-hyphenate performer. As the lyrics of the song reflect a queer crush, the video, which was directed by Lauren Sick, doubles down on fatal attraction between two women.
Kicking off with the pair locking eyes across the room at a dark club while everyone else dances aimlessly, the two move toward each other, and when they connect the chemistry is electric. Quickly taking their makeout session to a graffiti-covered phone booth, and then taking a late night joy ride through a tunnel, where these two continue making out in the convertible! That seems like hook-up goals to me. Guess the boyfriend should’ve never left Dove’s crush alone, because it looks like it’s over for him. Check out the steamy video above and keep an ear out for more new music, from Dove which is likely coming very soon.
As if low-carb diet fads weren’t already a big enough blow to the pasta industry, the gluten-free trend was hot on its heels (which for people with Celiac disease or gluten allergies, was more than just a trend). Pasta producers and the food industry have tried to keep pace by producing gluten-free alternatives, and now the gluten-free noodle category is positively booming.
But just because there are a lot of wheat-free pastas to choose from doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re good. Not all the offerings on the market are created equal, and as I learned in my blind tasting of grocery store-brand spaghetti, a lot of them are truly foul. The biggest issues with gluten-free pastas seems to be a lack of stretch, breakage (aka brittle noodles), and separation. In some of the worst ones, the image of separate noodles is merely an illusion, devolving into vaguely noodly clumps when you cook them, with odd-tasting bites that seem to dissolve in your mouth.
“Melt in your mouth” is a compliment for a steak. It is not a prized characteristic in noodles.
I included a few token gluten-free options in my previous spaghetti ranking and on the whole they fared… poorly. This time around, we thought why not level the playing field, pitting gluten-free options against other gluten-free options, and include as many of them as we could find? A lot of them, once again, were pretty bad. The surprise was that a few of them weren’t. Maybe not good enough to beat glutenous pasta head-to-head, but good enough that you wouldn’t notice. Or at least good enough to be worthwhile options in their own right.
A note on method:
I tasted these blind, boiled in four cups of water with one tablespoon of salt. I usually let them boil 10-11 minutes, but if they seemed done or not done, I took them out early or let them boil longer as needed.
Vince Mancini
Today’s Lineup:
Andean Dream, Made With Organic Quinoa
Rummo Gluten-Free Spaghetti Made With Rice And Corn
Banza Spaghetti Made From Chickpeas
365 Gluten-Free Spaghetti With Corn And Rice
Trader Joe’s Organic Brown Rice Quinoa Spaghetti
Tinkyada Brown Rice Pasta
DeLallo Gluten-Free Pasta Made With Whole Grain Rice
Trader Joe’s Organic Yellow Lentil Brown Rice Pasta
Looks: Pale, sort of greyish. A little grain to the exterior but mostly looks like noodles.
Smell: Something more pungent to the nose. What is that? An Earthy-grainy aroma that I can’t quite place.
Taste: Still VERY al dente, even after 10 minutes-plus of hard-boiling. Almost inedible. Sourdough-like flavor. Big time no from me dog. 1/10
Bottom Line:
Perhaps it was a flaw of our test that we didn’t follow the cooking instructions of each individual pasta for this test, stupidly assuming that they’d all be as similar as their glutinous cousins. This one suggests a hard boiling for 1-2 minutes, followed by leaving it in the pot for “about 18 minutes.”
20 minutes to cook pasta??? Shit, man, if it’s gonna take that long I might as well just kill and butcher a goat.
Look: Revolting, like one big, stuck-together mass. I don’t know if I boiled these too long or not enough but it certainly appears that something has gone very wrong.
Smell: Stale. That’s the only way I can describe it. Like stale air.
Taste: This just doesn’t “noodle” at all. It’s essentially a bean pie with noodle lines drawn on it. It tastes like dissolving powder with no stretch or pull to it. And it sticks to your teeth. Nah. 2/10.
Bottom Line:
Let me quote from the cooking instructions: “Lets Get Cooking: 1. Add pasta 8 cups of boiling watter [sic] and stir immediately. 2. Cook uncovered for 7-10 minutes or until firmness is reached. Begin testing at 5 minutes and stir occasionally. Do not overcook. 3. Drain and rinse pasta in hot water and serve. Note: Water will turn yellow from the corn starches. This is normal.”
So, basically, I cooked them correctly and they still came out this bad.
Looks: Rust red in color, with thick and smooth noodles. They look a bit wiry.
Smell: Like funky bean powder. Vaguely feet-like.
Taste: Just way too bean-y. Yuck. I’m reaching for the water. This tastes like dry hummus shaped into noodles. 2/10
Bottom Line:
My comments about the red color and beany taste don’t make a ton of sense for a cauliflower product, until you check the fine print and realize that these are made with “lentil, pea, and cauliflower flours.” Which I don’t think is a problem in and of itself (there are other lentil and pea products on this list ranked much higher) but these are… well these are basically dog food.
Absolutely not.
13. Trader Joe’s Organic Brown Rice Quinoa Spaghetti
Vince Mancini
Price: I paid $3.29 at Trader Joe’s
Vince Mancini
Original Notes:
Look: This one already looks gross and gloopy, with excess residue and lots of broken noodles.
Smell: Weird in a way I can’t quite identify, like baby food.
Taste: Noodles clumpy, mealy, mushy. Taste actually isn’t bad but the texture is just so, so bad. Trash mouthfeel. 3/10.
Bottom Line:
The notes kind of say it all with this one. You can tell just from looking at it that whatever they’ve got going on here isn’t good at resembling a noodle.
Look: Translucent brown, somehow both grainy and gelatinous.
Smell: Neutral smell.
Taste: Weird sticky texture, can’t tell if I boiled it too long or not enough. It’s sort of mushy and chewy at the same time. And it sticks to your teeth. 3/10.
Bottom Line: According to the package:
“Cassava is a root vegetable that is ground whole and dried into a fiber-rich flour that we use to make this incredible, grain free pasta. Sustainable farming is at the heart of jovial mission, and cassava is an ingredient with a great story. Cassava grows in marginal soil with little water, and produces more calories per acre that wheat and corn, making it a staple for over half a billion people worldwide.”
That is a great story! And cassava doesn’t stink like some of the other alternative noodle materials, which makes me think it has potential. Unfortunately, it seems like they just didn’t grind this flour fine enough and the noodles themselves might be too thick as well. You’re meant to boil these for 13 damned minutes. This one was made in Italy, like a lot of the favorites on this list, but I think they need to go back to the drawing board.
11. Trader Joe’s Organic Yellow Lentil and Brown Rice Pasta
Look: Much redder color, sort of iron-rust colored.
Smell: A pretty strong bean aroma.
Taste: The texture is just off somehow. It separates nicely, but it’s sort of stiff and wiry and brittle, with no elasticity to it. It has a bean powder flavor, which I think isn’t the worst thing in the world, but it does take some getting used to. The texture is what kills it, it’s not really a noodle at all. 4/10.
Bottom Line:
If I’m going to train myself to appreciate a bean-flavored pasta it needs to have a better texture than this.
10. Full Circle Market Spaghetti Made From Corn And Rice
Look: Very bright yellow sunny color, with slightly thinner noodles.
Smell: Pretty pasta-like, actually.
Taste: Texture-wise, they’re a little clumpy and coarse, but not too wiry or powdery. The taste is… is there a grain version of gamey? Something about the flavor isn’t quite right. 5/10.
Bottom Line:
This was another Italian product, and it looked and smelled pretty great, but something about the taste was off. I’m not sure why, since corn and rice seem like pretty straightforward, non-gamey ingredients. Maybe it sat on the shelf too long?
Smell: …Vegetal? Is that beans? Gotta be some bean flour in there smelling like this.
Taste: Very little stretch to the noodles, they break very easily. Texture is mildly chalky, and they dissolve in your mouth a bit. That being said, the taste isn’t bad. Sort of just savory/salty without being too offputting or weird. 6/10.
Bottom Line:
These noodles remind me of a joke: “What’s the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?” “I’ve never had a garbanzo bean on my chest.” Anyyyyyway, these are sort of replacement-level GF noodles.
Look: Sunny yellow color. Some visible grains in the surface, a fair amount of broken noodles.
Smell: Pasta-like!
Taste: Texture is a bit wiry, with a coarser, grainier chew. Not as much elasticity as a regular wheat noodle, but it tastes alright enough. Like grain, at least. 6/10.
Bottom Line:
Brown rice noodles made up a lot of the worst-ranked choices, but this one fared okay. Seems like the quinoa in there evened out some of the worst qualities of the brown rice.
Smell: Stronger aroma, more of that powdery bean smell.
Taste: Separates nicely and tastes okay, if a little beany. More brittle than the other ones that look sort of like this, and not very elastic. 6/10
Bottom Line:
There were a few noodles that went more for this rustic sort of look. This was the worst of them, but overall they were a lot better than I expected. I tend to think thinner, rougher noodles work a lot better for gluten-free options than the ones that try harder to mimic spaghetti.
Look: Pale white, like rice noodles. Slightly grainy texture.
Smell: Very neutral, maybe a slight hint of veggie on the back end. Hint of cauliflower?
Taste: Chewier than some of the others, doesn’t dissolve into a liquid in your mouth. Though it does have just a wisp of old shoe funk to it. Absorbed more salt than some of the others. 7/10
Bottom Line: Not perfect, but quinoa definitely seems like one of the better alternative grains out there when it comes to getting something resembling glutinous spaghetti.
Look: More lemon yellow, nice and bright. Just visible grains on the outside of the noodles.
Smell: Pretty similar to regular gluten noodles. Nothing too noteworthy or offputting about it.
Taste: Surprisingly pasta-like. It’s a little heartier and with a bit more chew than your standard glutenous noodles, maybe too much, but I prefer this to the melt-in-your-mouth varieties. 8/10
Bottom Line: It’s not 100%, but the Italian-made noodles, by and large, seemed to be better than their American cousins. We have now entered the “actually worth eating” portion of the rankings.
Look: Black, like squid ink noodles, but smaller and grainier.
Smell: Sort of beany. I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that this is some kind of a black bean product.
Taste: Pretty good flavor. Not as elastic as the other one that looked thin and hairy like this, but it separates nicely. This one doesn’t really cut it as spaghetti, but it seems like it’d work great in a stir-fry. 7/10.
Bottom Line: This one not tasting terrible was arguably the biggest surprise of the entire ranking. It definitely looks weird because of the color, especially for a tomato-y pasta dish, but I could envision a fair number of uses for this — from chow mein to spring roll filling.
3. DeLallo Gluten Free Pasta Made With Whole Grain Rice
Look: Thinner noodles, pale yellow to yellow-brown, with very small grain flecks.
Smell: Smells like some kind of vegetable powder, maybe chickpea? Something vaguely funky in there.
Taste: These definitely break more than they stretch, but otherwise not bad. They aren’t powdery tasting at all. Actually, the flavor is pretty good, savory but not too strong. 8/10.
Bottom Line: I would’ve never guessed it before this taste test, but apparently brown rice noodles have a gaminess to them. Who knew? A brown rice noodle probably wouldn’t be my first choice based on that, but this was far and away the best of them — another product from Italy.
Look: Like brown Play-Dough Noodles. Vaguely like buckwheat soba, if you’re being generous.
Smell: Sort of like fermenting grain. Bready? This is a new one, aroma-wise. I can’t quite place it.
Taste: The noodles separate nicely, surprisingly. The taste is… weirdly satisfying actually. These are honestly pretty good. Much, much better than I expected and a pretty decent chow mein noodle. 8/10.
Bottom Line: Without the box, these looked just like the Explore Cuisine noodles, but a little better. Edamame (which is a just a soybean) seems like a pretty good choice for noodle material, it doesn’t have nearly the funk of the other kinds of legumes. Again, it doesn’t entirely work as a replacement spaghetti, but it seems like it’d be perfect in a ramen or a chow mein. I never would’ve guessed any of this based on that box, that is some of the most dog-shit box art I’ve ever seen. That box looks like it’s for slug bait I use in my garden.
1. Rummo Gluten Free Spaghetti with Rice and Corn
Vince Mancini
Price: $3.99 at Whole Foods
Vince Mancini
Original Notes:
Look: Sort of yellow-orange, very light grain texture on the exterior.
Smell: Neutral.
Taste: Came out sort of on the al dente side, but not bad. It doesn’t stretch like regular pasta, but otherwise, I’m not sure I’d even know this was gluten-free. Looks by far the most like regular spaghetti and tastes decent too. 9/10.
Bottom Line: There were maybe a couple of others that had arguably better flavor, but this had a fairly neutral flavor and good texture and looked by far the most like regular spaghetti.
Top Dawg Entertainment is entering its next era soon and has been rolling out its latest wave of artists to take advantage of the vacuum that will be left by Kendrick Lamar’s departure after he releases his final TDE album. Last year, the label introduced Long Beach native Ray Vaughn to the fold with the harrowing “Tap” video and earlier this month, announced that it had signed Doechii with the release of her house-influenced single, “Persuasive.”
Today, Doechii doubled down on the new single, releasing a colorful, futuristic-looking video for the single. In it, Doechii displays her quirky fashion sense and leads a troupe of dancers as they vogue for the camera in a ballroom-inspired sequence that plays off the single’s upbeat instrumentation.
Prior to officially signing to the label, Doechii appeared on Isaiah Rashad’s The House Is Burning single “Wat U Sed” and on his Lil’ Sunny’s Awesome Vacation tour, prompting speculation that the LA-based label had picked up the eclectic new artist for its roster. While the confirmation wouldn’t come until recently, the positive reception of Doechii’s guest spots certainly helped, and fans are certainly intrigued to see what she does with the label next.
The Golden Raspberry Awards are known for poking fun at some less-than-stellar performances from some of the best actors. That’s a very nice way of saying that they give out these awards for bad movie roles. Just days ago, The Razzie for Worst Performance By Bruce Willis In A 2021 Movie was given, obviously, to Willis for his role in Cosmic Sin, one of his numerous films from last year– seven to be exact, with another handful being released this year.
Yesterday, Demi Moore revealed the unfortunate news that Willis was diagnosed with a rare brain disorder and plans to retire from acting. Many actors, fans, and co-stars have sent love over to Willis, who has yet to publicly comment on the diagnosis (and, sadly, may not be able to on his own).
Of course, The Razzies felt a ton of guilt for criticizing a man who has been going through some serious health trauma. Today, co-founders J.B. Wilson and Mo Murphy announced they would be rescinding the award.
After much thought and consideration, the Razzies have made the decision to rescind the Razzie Award given to Bruce Willis, due to his recently disclosed diagnosis. If someone’s medical condition is a factor in their decision making and/or their performance, we acknowledge that it is not appropriate to give them a Razzie. As we recently mentioned in a Vulture Interview, extenuating circumstances also apply to Shelley Duvall in The Shining. We have since discovered that Duvall’s performance was impacted by Stanley Kubrick’s treatment of her throughout the production. We would like to take this opportunity to rescind that nomination as well.
This is just another example of “we never really know what is happening behind the scenes” when it comes to actors working hard to make movies while battling illnesses or other stressors. Hopefully, The Razzies will learn from the situation, instead of blaming management.
While the world drowns in Jokers, there’s only been two live-action Riddlers in Batman movies: Jim Carrey in Batman Forever and Paul Dano in The Batman. (I’m recusing Frank Gorshin from 1966’s Batman because he, like Cesar Romero, is in a category unto himself.) But the two actors had different takes on the villain befitting the mood of the movies they were in: Carrey plays the Riddler like a rhyming cartoon character, while Dano is a disturbed Zodiac-like livestreamer. Both are memorable in different ways.
Carrey told Unilad that he hasn’t seen The Batman, but he has “mixed emotions” on Dano’s “very dark version” of the Riddler. “To each his own and all that. I love him as an actor, he’s a tremendous actor,” the Sonic the Hedgehog 2 actor said, but “there’s a spot of worry in me over gaffer-taping people’s faces and encouraging people to do the same. Some sickos out there that might adopt that method.”
He continued:
“I do have a conscience about the things I choose. Robotnik has cartoon bombs and no one gets hurt. I know there’s a place for it, and I don’t want to criticize it, but it’s not my kind of thing… It’s very well done, those movies are very well done.”
In anticipation of that category, Spotify has been partnering with all the nominees to deliver their Spotify Singles feature, and all the artists are covering songs from former nominees in the category. So Glass Animals unearthed their cover of Lorde’s “Solar Power,” previously debuted on the BBC Radio 1 Lounge, for the event. “I chose “Solar Power” because in a time when we were all stuck indoors a bit – this song made me feel like I was on a beach….we all needed a bit of that!” Bayley said of the cover. “It’s a stunning song and then I just had a version of it in my head where it was faster with a gospel choir behind it….so….we made it!”
Check that out below, along with a new version of the band’s latest single, “I Don’t Want To Talk (I Just Want To Dance).”
Captions are functional, first and foremost. They exist so that people who are hard of hearing can follow the dialogue and action in the things they are watching. That’s a good thing. It’s always better to have options that make cool stuff accessible for more people. Everyone should get to enjoy, say, for example, The Righteous Gemstones, a terrific show that is screencapped up above, delightfully mid-vomit, as described by the aforementioned captions. It’s a nice piece of business.
This brings me to my point: Everyone should watch television with the captions on, in almost all situations, even if your hearing is not an issue. I started doing it a few years ago and it has improved my viewing experience a lot. I watch everything with the captions on and the volume up, with the exception of live sports (the captions often lag because they’re catching up to the broadcast and it can be distracting) and stand-up comedy (the captions can get ahead of the delivery and step on the joke). I don’t even remember exactly when or why I started — the general reason was “to make sure I’m not missing anything important, but I can’t rule out anything much less reasonable — but I’m here now and I love it.
And I think you should join me. Start watching television with the captions on. It’s great, just helpful and fun and kind of like unlocking a little secret you’ve been missing out on for years. I’m going to lay out my actual reasoning below, in three parts, at least one of which will involve multiple screencaps of award-nominated actors farting on camera, but feel free to stop reading whenever I’ve convinced you. We all have important stuff to get to. I won’t be offended. The point is that you listen to me.
Okay, here we go.
PART I — Your big, fancy flat-screen television might have garbage speakers
NETFLIX
Here’s your practical reason. Televisions have been getting thinner over the years as manufacturers attempt to give you the most sparkling and crisp picture possible in as small a package as they can. That’s cool, in a way, because it’s basically become like hanging a painting on the wall except the painting also plays the Super Bowl. (Take that, Picasso.) But this focus on thinning out the product has left less room for speakers, or at least the kind of speakers one would hope for from a product that they sit in front of for hours a day.
Wired discussed this dilemma in a recent article. It’s actually Wired UK, which I mention only because the word “telly” is in this blockquote and I don’t want you to get distracted. We need to stay focused here.
The problem, of course, is inherent in flatscreen TVs themselves. Everyone wants their nice new telly to be as slim as possible – but that makes the job of getting worthwhile sound out of them almost impossible. There’s just nowhere in that big, flat, glass-and-plastic and super-resonant frame to fit worthwhile speakers of a decent size – and consequently the sound your TV makes is as weedy, insubstantial and impoverished as the pictures it makes are detailed, bright and bold.
The solution most people point to for this problem is “buy a soundbar,” but soundbars are expensive and do not help you make a slew of funny screencaps that you can send to your idiot friends. This second thing is very important. So important, in fact, that we will now discuss it again, in full, in part two.
PART II — You are missing out on some primo supplemental comedy
HBO
To be clear, what we have here is Kieran Culkin, in character as Roman Roy on Succession, doing baby noises and fart sounds to mock one of his siblings. It was good live, with action and sound, and you should all know this because you’re all probably watching Succession. But the captions make it magical. Look at that image up there. It’s practically art. It makes me so happy. I saw it live on my television and then rushed to my computer to make the screencap and I’ve used it maybe 500 times since.
I have a great deal of respect for the person who wrote that caption. It would have been easy to phone it in, maybe just with a “[baby noises, fart sound],” but no. We got a whole “mimics in childish babble” here. That is both helpful — more descriptive, more accurate — for the people who rely on it and just massively funnier phrasing, in general, for everyone to enjoy. It’s a real two-fer. We love the efficiency.
Hey, want more examples of how subtitles can make watching television more fun through the use of out-of-context screencaps? I hope so, because I am about to post a bunch. Here’s one of my favorites, from the short-lined modern-day Dallas continuation series that aired on TNT a few years back.
TNT
What we have here:
Television icon Judith Light
Doing cocaine at a rodeo
And then saying “Hot damn. Mama like.”
It is maybe my favorite moment in the history of television and I like that I have it immortalized like this. The captions really add something to the experience. You need to “Hot damn. Mama like” to drive the point home. I can and will make an argument that this moment plays better as a captioned GIF than it did in full motion. It’s incredible.
Also incredible, for different reasons: This series of screencaps from Better Call Saul in which Mike Ehrmantraut, played by Jonathan Banks, groans. He groans so much on this show. It would be easy to miss without documentation. That’s what we’re doing here: documenting things for history. Groans, specifically. We are documenting groans.
AMCAMC
Also, farts. We are documenting farts, too. There’s the fake one up there by Kieran Culkin, but there are also these from Jeremy Irons in the terrific Watchmen series from a few years ago. Again, the specificity is important here, both so the people who need the captions can get the joke more completely, and because it makes for a wonderful little piece of still art.
Please, enjoy.
HBOHBO
I have, literally, hundreds of screencaps like this from dozens of shows. It has made my life so much richer. And it all started from such a simple place, with me flipping captions on so I could follow along better and not miss anything important that would get me yelled at in the comments of a review or a recap. The takeaways from all of this are as follows:
I do not like getting yelled at
I have a lot of screencaps of television characters passing gas
A reasonable argument can be made that I am 12 years old. I feel okay about it. And while I’m on the subject of being a child…
PART III — It is fun to roast your friends with screencaps
WARNER
I work with a man named Josh. He’s lovely and knows more about The Simpsons and Oscar-nominated movies than anyone I know. I genuinely enjoy chatting with him in our little work chatroom. But I also make it a point to screencap every moment from a television show or movie where a character says something mean to a character named Josh, just so I can deploy them strategically to roast him a little in front of everyone. That’s Kyle Chandler in the one up there, in the movie Godzilla vs. Kong, dropping a “Shut up, Josh.” It’s been extremely useful.
As has this one of Joe Pera in Joe Pera Talks With You, which slightly modified the order of the words to give us a “Josh, shut up.”
ADULT SWIM
And here’s a screencap from the animated Harley Quinn series. This one has been super useful, too.
HBO MAX
I recommend you start doing this, too. Watch television with the subtitles on first, for you, so you catch everything and don’t have to drop hundreds of dollars on a soundbar. But then, once you do, start snapping screencaps, especially if you can get some with your friends’ names in them. It makes for a great comeback in the group chat, or a great context-free text, or, if you’re me and your editor is named Brett and you want to leave in a little test to see if he read all the way to the bottom of your piece on captions and screencaps, a fun little experiment.
Hi, buddy.
APPLEAPPLE
The lessons here are as follows, in no particular order:
You should try watching television with the captions on
I am an idiot
The second thing does not make the first thing any less true
On Wednesday night, Meyers dedicated the bulk of his “A Closer Look” segment to the claims made by Cawthorn, who was reportedly given a stern talking to by House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy over his already-infamous podcast interview in which he claimed that House of Cards is basically a docuseries—albeit with less cocaine and/or orgies. Noting that the Republican party is “full of weird people constantly saying weird sh*t,” Meyers took aim at, well, all of Congress, really:
“Come on, man. You really expect us to believe that Congress could plan and execute an orgy? At best I can see them announcing an exploratory committee that would begin to investigate the feasibility of an orgy at a later date. And then it would grind to a halt because one faction would say they wouldn’t go unless the orgy was carbon neutral. And then Joe Manchin would say he’s only going to vote for the orgy if there was money for coal in it. And then someone would say, ‘Why do you need coal at an orgy?’ and Joe Manchin would say, ‘I guess you’ve never been to a West Virginia sex party!’
“It just wouldn’t happen.”
Meyers did, however, concede one point: “In Cawthorn’s defense, I will say Chuck Schumer positions his glasses like a man watching an orgy.”
A two-hour documentary on the late rapper Ol’ Dirty Bastard will air on A&E. Approved by the “Got Your Money” rapper’s estate, the documentary, tentatively titled Biography: Ol’ Dirty Bastard, will feature never-before-seen archived footage filmed by his wife, Icelene Jones, according to The Hollywood Reporter.
“I am thrilled to tell the full story of my husband. With this documentary the world will learn about the son, the husband, the father and the artist,” Jones told The Hollywood Reporter. “I’m proud of the team that we built, including Pulse, my producing partners Nicole Beckett and Messiah Jacobs at Four Screens, and our directing team, the Pollards.”
Produced by Pulse Films, alongside Four Screens, the documentary will showcase ODB from the beginning of his solo career in 1995 up until 2004, when he died of a drug overdose. The documentary will also provide looks back to the Wu-Tang Clan founder’s “trauma-filled” childhood and how it influenced his craft. Fans, close friends, and family will also share stories of ODB.
“Biography: Ol’ Dirty Bastard will present viewers with the untold story of the man and the musician who made an immense cultural impact across just a few short years,” said A&E’s executive vice president and head of programming, Elaine Frontain Bryant, to the magazine.
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