Author Stephen King has terrified readers for almost half a century with such fiendish creations as a murderous clown who lures children into the sewers, an ancient evil god that took over a mining town, a fire-starting little girl, vampires, undead pets, and countless others. But it’s his latest creation that is freaking people out beyond their wildest imaginations: A recipe for microwaved salmon.
The Maine-based writer shared his secret to cooking fresh fish on Twitter, and absolutely no one was prepared for the horrors that were about to unfold:
Dinner: Get a nice salmon filet at the supermarket, not too big.
Put some olive oil and lemon juice on it.
Wrap it in damp paper towels.
Nuke it in the microwave for 3 minutes or so.
Eat it.
Maybe add a salad.
Some people might think there’s nothing more divisive than partisan politics, but those people are dead wrong. You want to stir folks up, hit them with a food preparation method they’ve never seen before, and they will go freaking bananas in the replies. After sharing his nuked salmon recipe on Monday night, King was flooded with responses roasting him for everything from giving off divorced guy energy (he’s happily married, don’t worry) to still being the master of horror with this one.
The smell of microwaved fish is more horrifying than anything you have penned & I say this as an admirer who can barely watch a trailer or see a book jacket with your name on it without getting next level scared.
— Stephanie Ruhle (@SRuhle) April 20, 2022
tf did I just read pic.twitter.com/jIxm2ZK0R7
— Trinity Stands with Ukraine
(@TrinityMustache) April 20, 2022
Is this why Pennywise keeps eating children? Cuz you did this to him?
— Ian Fortey Thinks You Should Read His Books (@IanFortey) April 20, 2022
This maybe the shortest horror story you’ve ever written.
— emotional support trash panda (@procyonlotor99) April 20, 2022
—
Mach
Writing 12 thousand words in an afternoon then eating some Bounty poached salmon
— queen of the harpies (@Hey_Brian) April 20, 2022
you have money Stephen
— Brett ________ (@BrettRedacted) April 20, 2022
— Lynda Carter (@RealLyndaCarter) April 20, 2022
Sorry to hear of your recent divorce, Stephen
— Fraser (@CondimentWords) April 20, 2022
Like we said earlier, people are very opinionated about their food, so naturally, it didn’t take long for King to start getting peppered with salmon recipes. Surprisingly, one of them also involved using a microwave because, clearly, King’s creation is spreading and humanity is doomed.
I love that his post has just turned into a bunch of recipes for better ways to cook salmon. I’ll throw mine in: season however you want, put it in a Pyrex with a generous amount of olive oil + aromatics/sliced citrus. Roast low and slow at 275 for 30-40 minutes. Like buttah
— Trinity Stands with Ukraine
4. Turn off burner, flip salmon and finish in hot pan with no burner. Will take maybe 1 minute.
5. Serve with a lemon wedge and garnish. Make a salad if you want.
6. Throw your microwave out in tomorrow’s trash, sir.
— Russian Warship, Go F**k Yourself!
Salmon filet skin side down on tin foil, burners on high, hood down baking for 18 mins, tarragon, fennel fronds and lemon slices pic.twitter.com/fsUvfLpnn0
— Waveryder
(@eekamouse13) April 20, 2022
Salmon, mix equal parts mayo, spicy Mustard +top w fresh dill. On dish cover loosely w wax paper + vent paper w small slits. Nuke on high for 7 or 8 min (4-6oz pc) and (Chef’s kiss). My daughter does it for 10min so it crisps on ends.
— Syl Stern (@sstern866) April 20, 2022
This is the only way to prepare salmon: pic.twitter.com/37q0B2YBfL
— 𝑽𝒐𝒕𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎 𝑨𝑳𝑳 𝒐𝒖𝒕! (@roywlewis) April 20, 2022
(Via Stephen King on Twitter)