Donald Trump has said a lot of ridiculous things throughout his life, and many, many offensive things, too. And while his most supporters didn’t seem to mind that he enjoys grabbing women “by the p*ssy,” one would think—or, at least, hope—that even his most true-blue fans would want to put their MAGA hats on mothballs for a beat after learning of the former president’s fear of flying fruits.
Earlier this week, transcripts from an October 2021 deposition with Trump were made public. In them, he defends telling a crowd of supporters in 2016 to “knock the crap out” of anyone they see “getting ready to throw a tomato”—an act we previously believed only happened in Muppet movies, but one Trump seems decidedly familiar with, and knowledgeable about. On Thursday night, Seth Meyers attempted to share this development, along with quotes from the transcript, with his viewers, but had trouble getting through the words out without breaking into hysterical laughter.
After breaking out a spot-on impression of how Trump might have wanted to handle the situation—“I wanted to use some highly specialized fruit ninjas. I said, ‘Let’s do ninjas, because they have the fruit swords.’ But they said no.”—Meyers got to the most idiotic part of Trump’s already senseless argument.
“There’s this even dumber part of the deposition where Trump says, ‘You get hit with fruit… it’s very violent stuff. We were on alert for that… I wanted to have people be ready because we were put on alert that they were going to do fruit.’
What do you mean ‘do fruit’?! What do you mean you were put on alert? There’s an alert system for fruit? It’s like the Homeland Security threat level? Red’s tomato, yellow’s for banana, and green is for avocado. You know what they say: If you get hit with an avocado, you’re toast!”
You can watch the full segment above, beginning around the 8:55 mark.