Month: April 2022

It took me a long time to become a hyper-productive stoner. Back when weed came in a sandwich bag from the skate park, weed was… weed. Whether the eighth you bought from a kid with a Ramones shirt and a shoelace belt made you sleepy or uppity, that was your weed for the week. Period. I would roll into school so fucking high on strains you never hear about anymore (Mr. Nice Guy, GDP, etc) only to sneak out, promptly, and lay in the meadow behind the gym, mesmerized by the eucalyptus trees.

At the time, I thought cannabis was hindering my ability to function as a normal 14-year-old. But really, I just didn’t know shit about weed. No one did back then.

If little Lindsay could see me now, ripping a bong in the morning and conducting important weed business, she would be thrilled. As my relationship with the plant continues to evolve, I’ve found certain strains of cannabis can work better than a cup of coffee, invigorating your mind and body into a seamless flow state of productivity.

Speaking personally (because we all have different biology), I’ve found the best terpenes for productivity are limonene, pinene, and terpinolene. Another important factor is making sure the THC percentage isn’t astronomical. That will fuck you up too much, ending in a blank stare and an equally blank Google doc. While everyone is different, if your weed smells like a magical land where a pine forest meets a lemon orchard, you’re generally good to go. If it’s dense, fruity, and sweet, you might want to hold off until later.

But before you mock this article, note this — most productivity aids suck. Coffee causes anxiety, Adderall is meth, and Redbull is jitters-inducing. If you have to contribute to capitalism, you should at least be stoned. Here are some of my favorite cultivars on the market right now for getting shit done and having fun doing it.

Sol Shine by Sol Spirit Farms

Price: $38 (for 1/8th)

If you want to transform into a sentient energy beam that simply cannot be stopped, this is the weed for you. One of my favorite flowers of now, Sol Shine by Sol Spirit Farms is truly electric. Everything about this cultivar is perfect, in general, but especially for busy days when you need to be on point.

Grown under the sun by true master growers in Trinity County, this strain is high in terpinolene, which spurs creativity, and caryophyllene, which mutes anxiety. When I first opened the jar, I was slapped in the face in the best way possible. Spicy, bright, and full of life, you experience the jolt of its power just from the scent.

Smoking it is even better. The scent translates perfectly to flavor, and immediately you’re hit with a buzzy and cerebral high. This strain is unique in that in addition to THC and CBD, CBG is present — which has strong anti-inflammatory effects, among other physical benefits.

I took a bong hit and immediately started cleaning, which I usually hate but didn’t mind this time. After manically straightening things for a while, I realized I should channel this energy burst into my work. The high is clear and capable, free from the anxiety that can come with these high energy strains. I sat down, wrote the intro to this article at lightning speed, and here we are.

The Bottom Line:

This weed feels exactly like the name sounds. Bright, just like the sun.

Orange Tree by Greenline

Price: $50 (for 1/8th)

My love affair with Greenline’s Orange Tree knows no bounds. I always have some on deck, and smoke it almost every morning. Where to begin? First of all, it smells and tastes fucking incredible. Bursting with orange blossoms, tangerines, and something sweet like honey, the nugs are frosty, perfectly dense, and crunchy.

The flavor is straight-up orange blossoms and the high is whimsical and upbeat. I love this weed for creative work, writing, and generally becoming a brighter version of myself.

The Bottom Line:

Equal parts soothing and energizing, this is a great weed for any time, anywhere, but especially if you want to work on something creative and have fun doing it.

Durban Poison by Farm Cut (Whitethorn Valley Farm)

Price: $80 (for 1/2 oz)

Durban Poison is one of my favorite productivity strains, a classic “get up and go” flower. While I tend to love Durban in all forms, this is one of the best iterations I’ve encountered. Fluffy, crystalline, and bright green with orange accents, this sun-grown bud by Whitethorn Valley Farm in Humboldt is available through Farm Cut, a farmer-run collective that offers some of the most epic weed on the market.

I came across this flower at Weedcon and begged them to give me some because the smell was just so spectacular. It’s sharp, pungent, heavy on the pine, and spicy at the end. The dominant terpenes are pinene and terpinolene, which means you’ll be focused, inspired, and excited.

If it looks a little leafy, that’s because it is. Farm Cut believes trimming too tight destroys the trichomes, and they’re right. The less processed the better. This flower exists in its purest form, straight from their farm to you.

The first time I smoked it I fell in love with the dreamy, energetic feeling. The vibration of this flower is very high, and so was I. Physically, I immediately felt the urge to create something. Mentally, I became thoughtful in an ethereal way. A great combination for working on a personal project or something you like doing.

The Bottom Line:

This flower is energizing and starry-eyed, allowing you to dream big, then make it a reality.

Claybourne Lemon Margy

Price: $50 (for 1/8th)

Claybourne crushes it every time, and this Lemon Margy is no exception. I use this flower the way normal people use coffee, and smoke it when I’m feeling lazy or caught in a web of anxiety-induced procrastination.

It’s zingy! In every way! The nugs are bright and robust and covered in orange hairs. The smell is a lemon pine wonderland that is razor-sharp, cutting straight to the sensation of energy.

To smoke this is to become electric. No matter the circumstances, this flower wakes me up, and throws me into gear, whatever that gear may entail. Before a party that I don’t want to go to, before an article I don’t want to write — whatever it is that you don’t want to do but definitely should, she’s your girl.

The Bottom Line:

A lemon pine masterpiece that will wake your ass up.

Bienvenida Prerolls by Country

Price: $40

Country is an interesting new brand focused on THC:CBD ratio blends that make you feel fun and social and not like a zombie. The first time I tried their Bienvenida prerolls was in the car on the way home from a weed event. I didn’t know what to expect, but the dry hit passed my test with flying limonene-flavored colors, and the smoke followed suit.

Personally, I love that they have CBD flower (Tsunami) mixed with the normal THC weed (Durban) at a 1:3 ratio. Contrary to popular belief, CBD in weed is good! It counteracts the negative side effects of THC like paranoia and anxiety, and rounds the high in a pleasant way that’s great for working or going to a party.

The flavor is overwhelmingly lemony, with notes of pungent pine. Obviously, I’m a sucker for this flavor profile, especially when I’m trying to work. The high is a bit of a creeper, strong in a different way than I’m used to. I think it’s because of the ratio, but I felt jubilant, bright, and cerebrally stoned.

The Bottom Line:

Mellow, balanced, ready for anything.

Golden Hour by Maven

Price: $45 (for 1/8th)

Last but not least we have the gorgeous specimen that is Golden Hour by the indoor weed wizards at Maven. Optically, this weed is insane. Sparkling with crystals, green, orange, purple and blue. Structurally, the buds are pretty much perfect, and I like the crisp feeling of breaking them apart.

Opening the jar, the aroma is intoxicating. Lush and deep, it conjures wildflowers in the nighttime and the earth after rain. There’s a distinct gas aroma that follows, completing this complex profile.

Distinctly different from the high-energy strains on this list, Golden Hour is languid and thoughtful, bringing you to a place where everything is okay. Worries float by like a cloud. I like this strain for work because it just makes everything feel better. A lot of the time not wanting to work is because you’re experiencing negative emotions or anxiety or stress. This flower frees you from all the nonsense, liberating you to create or care less about the fact that you have to work when you don’t want to.

Buoyant and euphoric without bringing you down, the name says it all.

The Bottom Line:

Perfect for getting through your last stretch of daily obligations, then easing into the serenity of a sunset.

It’s been a while since there’s been a new album from The xx, as I See You came out back in 2017. The trio’s members have still been treating fans with new music in recent years, though, just by themselves. Oliver Sim has released two singles — “Romance With A Memory” and “Fruit” — over the past month, Romy shared “Lifetime” in late 2020, and Jamie xx dropped “Idontknow” also in 2020.

While it’s still not clear when the next LP from The xx is coming, we do get more solo music from Jamie xx today, as he just shared “Let’s Do It Again,” a dance-ready tune in the vein of what we’ve come to expect from Jamie’s solo work.

Jamie says of the song, “I started making this tune last year, just as it felt like we might all be able to start doing the things we love again. I’m so happy to say ‘Let’s Do It Again’ is out today. And I can’t wait to play it for ya this summer!”

Press materials also note the track is “a triumphant return and the first glimpse of what is to come over the next year from” Jamie and that it was “refined during DJ sets around the world in 2021” and “tailor made for a handful of very special shows this summer across the UK, Europe, and US.” They also note Jamie “continues to work” on the follow-up to his 2015 solo album In Colour.

Listen to “Let’s Do It Again” above.

After having live music taken away over the past couple of years because of the pandemic, festivals are trying to make up for the lost time. A new festival has been announced today; it’s called Frantic City and will be taking place in Atlantic City, New Jersey on September 24 at the Orange Loop Amphitheater. Though this is the festival’s first year, its lineup is promising, featuring Car Seat Headrest, Yo La Tengo, and Snail Mail.

Along with those major indie-rock acts, there’s also Murder City Devils, Shannon and the Clams, Superchunk, The Raveonettes, Rocket from the Crypt, Samiam, Titus Andronicus, Protomartyr, and Control Top.

About the festival, co-creator Joe HoldFast said, “Todd [Abramson] and I were approached by Pat and Charlie of Bourre in Atlantic City. They asked if we would build something that we thought would represent and showcase what Atlantic City has to offer. As someone who worked in venues in Asbury Park, NJ I saw a lot of comparisons and it really made me want to be a part of the revitalization of Atlantic City. I have been very fortunate to work on a lot of shows and festivals, on a lot of different levels, but never as a co-creator. The opportunity to work with and learn from Todd, and use our collective skills to build something meaningful, both musically and culturally in Atlantic City, seemed like a perfect fit.”

Ticket information can be found here.

Unemployment rates are nearing historic lows (although inflation makes everything relative in terms of earnings), but the Fox and Friends gang loves to continue their script of maintaining that no one will get off their butts. That was their point last fall while claiming that “nobody wants to work anymore” (therefore, Christmas is ruined), and they’ve been utterly aghast that traditionally low-wage workers (including teenagers) are simply making far too much money for the co-hosts’ tastes.

Well, Steve Doocy went into a jobs segment with that agenda, which got wiped out by Chipotle CEO Brian Niccol in only a few sentences. Doocy’s aim, of course was to prove that chip-making robots are being pushed into service because labor costs too much, and of course, (allegedly) no one wants to do the work. Niccol, however, pushed back and said that robots are simply cheaper and easier to use for this one task.

The camera conveniently cut away from Doocy whenever Niccol started to contradict the co-host, and of course, this is all a very silly thing to focus on when there are so many other ills in this world. Yet it’s still quite something to see this false claim (of workers being so lazy and so overpaid that robots must step in) continued on Fox News despite commonsensical contradictions.

Lil Durk and Gunna pay homage to late designer Virgil Abloh in the Cole Bennett-directed video for their new single, “What Happened To Virgil.” Lyrical Lemonade, Bennett’s production company, is well-known for its colorful, surreal, and whimsical videos, which are a far cry from Durk and Gunna’s grittier visuals. This dynamic turns out to actually be a perfect tribute to Abloh’s high-low aesthetic, which saw him bringing streetwear virtues to high-fashion venues such as Louis Vuitton, where he was the artistic director until his recent passing.

Other nods to Virgil throughout the video include references to his background in architecture; in one scene, Gunna and Durk rap atop the roof of a model house inside a warehouse. Also, Vigirl’s tendency to play with gender tropes makes an appearance as Gunna delivers his verse dressed like Michael Jackson in the “Thriller” video (complete with one sparkle-covered glove), holding a bouquet of flowers as he raps to the camera. Meanwhile, “Air Drake,” the private plane co-owned by the Toronto rapper makes an appearance in its Abloh-designed cloud-patterned paint job. The video concludes with a dedication to Alboh and a description of some of the other tributes he received from Louis Vuitton, and his own brand, Off-White.

Watch Lil Durk and Gunna’s “What Happened To Virgil” video above.

The Dallas Mavericks have been one of the hottest teams in the NBA since the trade deadline, climbing to fourth in the West and nearly picking off the 3-seed from Golden State. They will host the Utah Jazz on Saturday at 1 p.m. ET in Game 1 of their first round series, but optimism about a deep playoff run among Dallas fans has become painful uncertainty about the status of their top star.

Luka Doncic has played well enough in 2022 to lock up an All-NBA spot despite a bit of a slow start to the season, and his dominance, coupled with better balance on the floor around him with the addition of Spencer Dinwiddie, gives the Mavs a chance in any series. Unfortunately, Doncic left Dallas’ season finale against San Antonio with a left calf strain that was confirmed by an MRI on Monday. The team, unsurprisingly, is not offering a timetable for his return, as there is some hope that it’s mild enough to give it a go on Saturday, but there likely won’t be an official update until right up to game time.

Being without Doncic for any amount of time in the series would be fairly devastating for a Mavs team built around his abilities, and while Dinwiddie gives them someone who can create in Doncic’s absence, Dallas would quickly become an underdog against even a reeling Jazz team. We will find out Saturday whether Doncic will be out there for Game 1 or if this unfortunately timed injury will cause him to miss time.

Sean Penn loves to say controversial stuff and stays at the center of attention most of the time, which normally coincides with some sort of project he is promoting. Well, now it seems like he just likes to talk to anyone who will listen.

The 61-year-old actor was the first cover star of Hollywood Authentic magazine from photographer-to-the-stars Greg Williams, and he had a lot to say, specifically about how relationships and taking too much Ambien. He spoke about his several marriages, including his last wife, actress Leila George, and how he “f*cked up’ the marriage. The two split last year.

There’s a woman who I’m so in love with, Leila George, who I only see on a day-to-day basis now, because I f*cked up the marriage. We were married technically for one year, but for five years, I was a very neglectful guy. I was not a f*cking cheat or any of that obvious sh*t, but I allowed myself to think that my place in so many other things was so important, and that included my place in being totally depressed and driven to alcohol and Ambien at 11 o’clock in the morning.

Penn and George had been together since 2016 and married in 2020 before George called it quits in the fall. The two allegedly finalized the divorce just last month, and are still often seen together. He added that he was neglectful because of all of the “crap that’s going on in the world” such as a devastating war and men wearing skirts, according to Penn himself.

And as it turns out – this is going to shock you – beautiful, incredibly kind, imaginative, talented young women who get married to a man quite senior to them in years, they don’t actually love it when they get up from their peaceful night’s sleep and their new husband is on the couch, having been up since four, watching all of the crap that’s going on in the world and has decided that 10:30 in the morning is a good time to neck a double vodka tonic and an Ambien and say, ‘Good morning, honey. I’m going to pass out for a few hours and get away from all this sh*t.’ As it turns out, women as described, they don’t love that.

Despite realizing his faults, Penn seems to be on an apology campaign and hopes to win his wife back. George just turned 30 last month, and in case you are keeping track, Penn’s daughter Dylan turns 31 this month, so there’s that.

Phoebe Bridgers has broken the internet with the announcement of a new single. Upon sharing the pre-save link for a new song called “Sidelines” this morning via Twitter, her site immediately crashed, with fans replying to the link saying it wouldn’t work for them.

The announcement of the new single has led fans to speculate if the “Kyoto” singer’s new album is imminent. This would be her first album in two years and third overall.

“Sidelines” is Bridgers’ first taste of new music since launching her label Saddest Factory. On the Saddest Factory roster are Muna and Claud. Last month, during the Saddest Factory “Corporate Retreat” showcase at SXSW in Austin, Bridgers brought out Muna, Claud, along with fellow Saddest Factory signees Sloppy Jane and Charlie Hickey, to perform of a cover of My Chemical Romance’s “Welcome To The Black Parade.”

As a label CEO, Bridgers told Billboard that she’s made it a point to “only sign stuff that [she] love[s].”

“…I try not to be too mentor-y,” she said, “and I try also to be like, ‘You’re cooler than me, and I trust you. I don’t really know what’s up with TikTok, and you probably know way more about Bandcamp bands from your college than I do.’ Having all of us be mentors to one another is a dynamic I would like to keep.”

Pre-save “Sidelines” here.

Robert Englund fans are blowing up social media after spotting the iconic horror actor in the new Stranger Things 4 trailer. The Nightmare on Elm Street star is hard to miss thanks to his gruesomely missing eyes, and the fact that he’s burned into an entire generation’s brains as the face of Freddy Krueger. Englund’s casting in Stranger Things 4 was revealed in 2020 as the highly anticipated season suffered significant setbacks due to the pandemic, and the fact that series creator’s The Duffer Brothers are swinging for an epic feel on par with Game of Thrones.

According to Entertainment Weekly, Englund will be playing Victor Creel, “a disturbed and intimidating man who is imprisoned in a psychiatric hospital for a gruesome murder in the 1950s.” Bad things happening in hospitals should jump out to Stranger Things fans, and that recurring theme will reportedly continue in season four:

Seemingly related to Englund’s role is Jamie Campbell Bower, the actor seen across Twilight (as Volturi Caius), Mortal Instruments (as Shadowhunter Jace), and Harry Potter (as young Grindelwald). Bower will play the series regular part of Peter Ballard, “a caring man who works as an orderly at a psychiatric hospital” and is “tired of the brutality he witnesses day after day.”

As the excitement for Englund’s appearance in the Stranger Things 4 trailer made the actor trend on Twitter, some eagle-eyed fans already started theorizing that the actor’s role could be directly tied to the new monster shown in the trailer. Fortunately, fans won’t have long to wait as the new season is just a little over a month away.

You can see fan reactions to Robert Englund in Stranger Things 4 below:

Stranger Things 4: Part 1 starts streaming May 27 on Netflix.

The Los Angeles Lakers put an official end to their dreadful 2021-22 season on Monday with exit interviews that only raised more questions about a pivotal offseason ahead.

Frank Vogel was officially fired that afternoon, more than 12 hours after that news had been broken, and the Lakers are already attached to three current head coaches as potential candidates: Quin Snyder, Doc Rivers, and Nick Nurse. All three of those coaches will be leading teams into the playoffs next week, with Rivers and Nurse squaring off in the first round, and as such you can expect all of them to offer forceful denials of interest and/or deflections that the only thing they are focused on right now is their team if asked about L.A.

That won’t stop the rumor mill from churning, and as the Lakers beat tries to fill time in a year without postseason basketball, every day seems to bring a new update on a coaching search that has only just begun. Tuesday brought a pair of reports regarding candidates and interest, internally and externally, which may indicate how quickly the Lakers may have to move on from their initial top targets.

Broderick Turner of the L.A. Times reports that Snyder, who many expect to take a serious look at opportunities outside of Utah this summer, didn’t appreciate how the Lakers bungled Vogel’s firing, particularly leaking that he was out at the final buzzer of the regular season finale.

Not only is Snyder under contract with the Jazz for at least one more season, people not authorized to speak publicly on the matter said he has become less interested in the Lakers’ job because of how the Vogel firing was handled.

It’s not the first time this front office has stumbled over the details and many were disappointed with the treatment of a championship coach like Vogel on his way out the door. Nurse’s candidacy may only live in the dreams of the Lakers, as there are a number of roadblocks to poaching him from Toronto, namely that they need permission from the Raptors just to talk with him, which Toronto has no reason to provide. With the report on Snyder souring on the chance to be in L.A. and Nurse likely not being a viable candidate, that leaves Doc Rivers as the last of the initial targets — and if the Sixers have an early exit, he may be very much available — which means the Lakers pool will have to expand even more.

Sam Amick of The Athletic offered a little nugget in his latest piece that LeBron James has a candidate in mind: ESPN analyst and former Warriors coach Mark Jackson. Amick says James would be “enthused” by Jackson taking the reins in L.A., but notes that James didn’t get his wishes in the last Lakers coaching search when the Lakers wouldn’t give Ty Lue the offer he wanted and then hired Vogel over Jason Kidd.

Rob Pelinka said they would be methodical in their coaching search on Monday, and while the hope is to have someone in place by June’s NBA Draft, there isn’t a hard deadline for making that hire. As such, expect plenty more names to be attached to the Laker job in the coming months as we aren’t likely to see a swift resolution.