Hey you. Yes, you. Guess what? Barry is almost back!
Bill Hader’s dark comedy returns for season three after a nearly three-year break this Sunday, which is excellent news for a) people who love good shows, and b) fans of NoHo Hank. Everyone’s favorite bald Chechen mobster is (with all due respect to Hader, Henry Winkler, Sarah Goldberg, and Stephen Root, who are all wonderful) Barry‘s secret weapon. So, it was a smart choice to have NoHo Hank, played by Anthony Carrigan, recap the first two seasons ahead of the season three premiere.
“It’s me, NoHo Hank. I know, long time no see. Totes my fault, OK? And I know you’re probably pretty psyched to see what Barry and I are getting up to, but in meantime, let me refresh your memory on all the beefs that has happened so far,” he says in the video above. After explaining the premise of Barry (“If you cannot remember that, then like why even watch the show?”), NoHo Hank blasts through the plot of season one and two, including the season two finale, where Barry goes on a murder rampage at NoHo Hank’s safe house. “Just classic one of my misadventures,” NoHo Hank pipes in, cheerfully.
Barry season three premieres this Sunday, April 24, on HBO. For much more, read our interviews with Bill Hader and Henry Winkler (yes, the fish photos come up).
WARNING: Spoilers for the Killing Eve series finale below.
After watching the Killing Eve finale, fans were so angry at what they saw that they dubbed the show “the new Game of Thrones.” This was not so much a compliment on its size and scale as it was a reference to the HBO series’ final season, which epically disappointed pretty much everyone, including author George R.R. Martin, who has been taking great pains to distance his books from the show. Well, in a similar move, Luke Jennings — the author of the Killing Eve trilogy the series is based on — is also slamming the way his characters were treated.
In a new column for The Guardian, Jennings has made it known that he was not pleased with the way the show ended. In the final moments, Villanelle (Jodie Comer) and Eve (Sandra Oh) finally share their “first proper kiss,” only for Villanelle to be gunned down and left for dead in a river. Jennings admits he was taken aback, particularly after watching Oh and Comer bring his characters to life “so compellingly.” More importantly, Jennings didn’t appreciate seeing Killing Eve fall into the “bury your gays” trope that plagues far too many series.
But the season four ending was a bowing to convention. A punishing of Villanelle and Eve for the bloody, erotically impelled chaos they have caused. A truly subversive storyline would have defied the trope which sees same-sex lovers in TV dramas permitted only the most fleeting of relationships before one of them is killed off (Lexa’s death in The 100, immediately after sleeping with her female love interest for the first time, is another example). How much more darkly satisfying, and true to Killing Eve’s original spirit, for the couple to walk off into the sunset together? Spoiler alert, but that’s how it seemed to me when writing the books.
Like Martin, Jennings offered fans of Eve and Villanelle the chance to find comfort in his books. “Villanelle lives. And on the page, if not on the screen, she will be back.”
Last year we reviewed and ranked 14 different milkshakes from 14 different fast food chains in search of the thickest and tastiest. Our ranking revealed to us that Oreos are probably the single best thing to ever happen to the milkshake, and one of the finest Oreo Milkshakes comes from the stoner paradise that is Jack in the Box (ranked fifth!).
But what about those other Jack in the Box milkshakes? In addition to the mighty Oreo Shake, Jack also makes vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, and beginning yesterday for a limited time, the 4/20 themed Pineapple Express shake. The Pineapple Express Shake is a spin on the vanilla shake blended with pineapple syrup and topped with whipped cream and a maraschino cherry. Sort of like a Dole Whip.
Upon the shake’s announcement, Seth Rogen — writer of Pineapple Express — took to Twitter to make it clear that he had nothing to do with the milkshake and Jack in the Box did not contact him about using the name.
This has nothing to do with the movie Pineapple Express. We had nothing to do with this and weren’t asked if we wanted our film associated with this. And obviously if we did a tie in, it would have to be to promote those bizarre fucking diarrhea inducing taco things they sell. https://t.co/klzytABPUY
We’re not sure Jack in the Box needs to get permission for something like this, but Seth’s point is valid. And he’s right about the tacos (though he forgot to mention that they’re delicious in the right context).
We’ll pick a side depending on how good this thing tastes, and since we’re grabbing the Pineapple Express we figured we might as well order every milkshake on the menu and rank them from worst to best. We’re also going to give a 1-5 score based on how good they taste dipped in fries, this won’t have any effect on where we rank the milkshakes, but we figured it’s good info to have if you like living life the fun way.
Can anything top the Oreo Milkshake? Are we team Seth or team JiB? So many questions to answer, let’s get sipping!
5. Vanilla
Dane Rivera
Calories: 580 (Reg. Size w/ whipped cream)
Tasting Notes:
Before we talk about what the JiB Vanilla Shake tastes like, let me just throw this out there — all of these shakes are good. JiB’s shakes are super thiccccc, so thick that it takes an annoying amount of effort to get them through the straw. They’re creamy, almost like pure soft serve ice cream, and they keep their consistency for a remarkable amount of time.
It takes a whole hour for this shake to start to break down, that’s pretty amazing. Having said all that, JiB’s vanilla shake tastes… like nothing. There is the faintest hint of vanilla in there, but clearly, this shake is more of a foundation for the other flavors, which I’m pretty positive are just this shake, plus a flavored syrup.
It works for all the other flavors, but it makes the Vanilla stand out as tasting like it’s missing something.
Fry Dipability:
5/5. It might not taste like much on its own, but when encasing a salty french fry in its creamy goodness, few things taste better. This might be Jack in the Box’s best shake to dip your fries in. Ironically, we think it’s their worst tasting.
The Bottom Line:
Neutral to the point of flavorlessness. It’s sweet, refreshing, and creamy, with only a hint of vanilla.
4. Strawberry
Dane Rivera
Calories: 650 (Reg. Size w/ whipped cream)
Tasting Notes:
12-year-old me’s head would explode if they knew I would one day rank (the thought of ranking milkshakes as a job would also not compute to my 12-year-old brain) a strawberry shake above any flavor, let alone vanilla, every kid’s favorite. But I’m just going to throw this out there — disliking strawberry ice cream is kid shit.
It takes a mature palate to appreciate the complexity of artificial strawberry flavoring! That’s a hill I’m willing to die on.
This is a good shake, it’s remarkably refreshing and the strawberry flavor is faint enough that your tastebuds don’t really zero in on it, which helps to mask the fact that artificial strawberry doesn’t really taste anything like real strawberries. It’s an improvement in every way to the Vanilla because it actually tastes like something.
When paired with the whipped cream and maraschino cherry, this shake has an ice cream sundae quality to it. If Jack in the Box wanted to shake things up (pun intended) they’d find a way to work banana into this shake and give us one of the greatest milkshakes in all of fast food.
Seriously, why haven’t they done that yet?
Fry Dipability:
2/5. It just doesn’t really work. Nobody likes a salty strawberry. [Though that does sound like a cool band name. -ed]
The Bottom Line:
It tastes like the ‘80s vision of the ‘50s. It’s comforting, warmly nostalgic, and classic, and you should drink it while listening to some good ‘ol rock and roll.
3. Pineapple Express
Dane Rivera
Calories: Not listed, but it’s safe to assume it hovers in the upper 600s.
Tasting Notes:
I went into this milkshake fully expecting it to be gross. I’m not sure if it’s because I have an affinity for Seth Rogen’s Houseplant weed brand and wanted to be on Seth’s side here, but it’s hard to hate this thing. It could’ve tasted terrible, a sickly sweet and tangy overload of candied flavor to match with Jack in the Box’s menu of weird stoner delights. But like all of the milkshakes, it’s subtle, and that’s its strength.
The pineapple syrup adds a gentle tartness and a fruity body to an otherwise neutral-tasting milkshake. It doesn’t really pair well with the whipped cream because it has a sort of Big Stick Popsicle flavor to it. If Jack in the Box added a cherry syrup in there, this shit would truly be next level.
The Bottom Line:
Sorry Seth, but this is delicious.
Fry Dipability:
1/5. Even worse than the strawberry. The salty potato flavor doesn’t pair well with the subtle tang of this shake. It’s almost vomit-esque. Barf-adjacent.
2. Chocolate
Dane Rivera
Calories: 680 (Reg. Size w/ whipped cream)
Tasting Notes:
It tastes just like a scoop of chocolate ice cream. I’m not sure if it was just my particular milkshake, but this was the only shake out of the lineup where I could visibly see the flavored syrup, and that added visual definitely enhanced the experience in some small way.
I’m almost positive this is just chocolate syrup mixed in with the Vanilla Shake base, but I can taste two distinct flavors of chocolate here, a more chalky milk chocolate powdered flavor, and a syrupy chocolate sauce flavor. I wish JiB would take the extra step to drizzle some chocolate sauce on the whipped cream, or maybe add a side of crushed nuts to really bring this to the next level and add some texture in there, but we’ll take what we can get.
Fry Dipability:
4/5. It’s good, just not as good as dipping a fry in vanilla.
The Bottom Line:
Almost a perfect milkshake. If not for our number one pick, this would be the clear winner.
1. Oreo Cookie
Dane Rivera
Calories: 690 (Reg. Size w/ whipped cream)
Tasting Notes:
Going in I assumed this was going to hit number 1 (it’s why we include the shake in our best milkshake lineup) but tasting all the shakes side by side really put into focus how much better this shake is than all of the others. The Oreo Cookie shake has all of the best qualities of every other shake in this ranking, it’s thick, sweet, creamy, refreshing, but it has one thing the other milkshakes lack — texture.
This makes a world of difference. When the Oreos come up through the straw and melt on your tongue in a bath of sweet and creamy vanilla ice cream it’s decadent dessert ecstasy.
Fast food milkshakes rarely get better than this flavor combination (though a few chains do the Oreo shake even better) and because Oreos are kind of a dusty cookie, the granules of chocolate cookie pepper the entire ice cream base, so aside from the actual chunks of Oreo you drink up from the straw, the milkshake itself tastes like cookies and cream ice cream. It’s a significant improvement to the neutral vanilla base it’s built upon.
Fry Dipability:
3/5. Unfortunately dipping a french fry in an Oreo shake makes neither the shake nor french fry taste any better. It’s fine, but should only be tasted out of curiosity.
The Bottom Line:
JiB made the Oreo Milkshake a standard flavor in the lineup of fast food milkshakes everywhere, and we count the OG amongst the best of them. Every other Jack in the Box milkshake lives in the shadow of this one. It’s the only one worth ordering.
In an age when movie trailers are rarely big news, the trailer for The Unbearable Weight Of Massive Talentseemed like big news. The conceit of Nicolas Cage playing Nicolas Cage, in a movie about the weirdo movie star, Nicolas Cage, had the feeling of a meme becoming self-aware. Naturally, the internet went crazy for it. But as Snakes On A Plane once proved, a hit trailer doesn’t always make for a hit movie.
In fact, it’s not even the first time this sort of thing has been attempted (JCVD, anyone?). Frankly, I was wary of the entire concept. I have mixed feelings about Nic Cage being a human meme. I started writing FilmDrunk back in 2007, when Nic Cage always seemed to be a great source of #content, whether he was going broke from buying dinosaur skulls or starring in movies where he got eaten by bees. Which is to say, I was myself at the very least complicit in turning Nic Cage into a human meme.
Yet that was almost 15 years ago. It’s not that I regret making Nic Cage jokes in the late aughts or that “Nic Cage deserves better!” (maybe he does, but I doubt he needs us to defend him, and anyway he made this persona). It’s less that it’s “unfair” to the celebrity and more that it just feels outdated and hack, a relic from the days of epic bacon and I can haz cheezeburger. “Zany Nic Cage project” was already a thing. It’s been a thing. Every year there are at least five of them. With PigI thought we’d finally come out the other side, into newer and more interesting Nic Cage iterations.
Then again maybe The Unbearable Weight Of Massive Talent would be part of those newer and more interesting iterations. Maybe it wouldn’t just use Nic Cage as a sight gag, but actually have something say about it. At the very least it’s a fantastic title.
Like the title itself, the film is undeniably clever. Cage plays a manic, self-absorbed version of himself, constantly slipping into actor-on-a-press-tour mode (“it’s kind of like a cosmic gumbo“) to anyone who will listen. In an early scene, Cage, with his uncanny valley hairline and spray paint beard dyed an unnatural charcoal brown, corners a director near the valet stand after a lunch meeting. He verbally assaults the director with a Boston-accented monologue from director’s own script, even after the director has insisted that he doesn’t need Cage to read. Valets and waiters stare bemused, everyone embarrassed by the spectacle except Cage himself. What does Nic Cage care? He’s Nic Cage.
This is the Nic Cage of Unbearable Weight Of Massive Talent, a pathological ham who’s constantly name-checking his love for graphic novels and German expressionist films like Tourette’s tics, whose Dracula hair and stage beard are characters unto themselves. He’s struggling to pay his exorbitant bill at the hotel where he lives while trying to repair his relationship with his 16-year-old daughter Addy (Lily Mo Sheen — daughter of Kate Beckinsale and Michael Sheen) who feels like a prop in the ongoing one-man-show of Cage’s life. Meanwhile, his ex-wife Olivia (the wonderful Sharon Horgan from Catastrophe) tries and fails to drag him back down to Earth, swearing and tutting at his antics, Irishly. The devil on his shoulder is his own alter ego, Nicky, an emo-haired, leather-jacketed, CGI-de-aged incarnation of Cage (from Valley Girl?) given to maniacal shrieks who urges Cage to focus more on himself. Cage could win a best-supporting actor for this role.
Into this personal upheaval comes an indecent yet irrefusable proposal: a one million dollar offer to travel to the Spanish island of Mallorca as a birthday present for a reclusive rich guy, Javi Guitierrez, played by Pedro Pascal. “You’re not gonna have to blow him, or let him watch you fuck his wife, or watch him fuck his wife,” assures Cage’s agent, played by Neil Patrick Harris.
Javi turns out to be a sort-of-bashful, movie-obsessed Nic Cage superfan, and the two hit it off. Maybe it’s just what Cage needs to get his groove back.
Cage and Pascal have an undeniable, freak-charming chemistry, and for a while, The Unbearable Weight Of Massive Talent works beautifully as a goofy buddy comedy. It’s delightful watching these two characters just hang out and bond, dropping acid and living out their own fantasies. Javi is, after all, the only guy in the world as obsessed with Nicolas Cage as Nicolas Cage. And then the CIA gets involved.
As a Nic Cage joke that doesn’t feel like a leftover aughts meme, Unbearable Weight works shockingly well. But it also never quite delivers on any level beyond that, like exploring who Nic Cage is or why we joke about him. The early parts of the film set up the conflict in pretty stark terms — when is this “always on” Hollywood animal going to drop the celebrity persona and get real? That’s an interesting question, but at some point late in the film, there’s a shift, when the conflict becomes whether Nic Cage can save the day.
Did I miss the part where Nic Cage was a real-life action hero? The last bit of Unbearable Weight regresses into meta riffs and references, seemingly as a way to just get to the end of the movie without digging deeper into why we want to see Nic Cage play Nic Cage and why it’s funny. It falls flat after that because, frankly, who cares if Nic Cage “saves the day” in a high concept action-comedy? At that point, he could be anyone. He’s Johnny Depp in The Tourist. I thought the whole point was to try to get beyond the celebrity schtick. It would’ve been more interesting to explore why Nic Cage’s beard seems to have a different shape, color, and texture in every scene.
That being said, Unbearable Weight is strange and hilarious for at least an hour, even if it never quite gets to exploring why.
‘The Unbearable Weight Of Massive Talent’ hits theaters on April 22nd. Vince Mancini is on Twitter. More reviews here.
Yesterday was a big hip-hop day on The Tonight Show, specifically for rappers with a standalone T in their names: Ice T was on the show to chat and make his pick for the best rap album of all time, and elsewhere during the episode, Pusha T came through for a performance of “Dreamin Of The Past.” The song comes from It’s Almost Dry, Pusha’s new album he released today.
For his performance, Pusha was backed by some of The Roots (who make The Tonight Show a big hip-hop day any day). The album version of the track features Kanye West, who wasn’t present for the performance. His song-closing verse was replaced with a repetition of the song’s hook.
After the song concluded, Pusha took a second to say, “It’s Almost Dry, out now. Rap album of the year.”
In a recent interview with Charlamagne Tha God, Pusha revealed Kanye, who produced the track, originally wanted the beat for himself, saying, “That record happened… I begged for the record. I begged for the beat. That happens a lot. […] It was one of those ones, I just kept going back to him. I was like, ‘Listen, man: I need this. I need this record.’ I was like, ‘You know what? You should be on the record. You should be on the record, too.’”
Watch Pusha perform “Dreamin Of The Past” on Fallon above.
Do you ever feel like the world has officially entered hell-in-a-handbasket territory? Like division and hate are dominating and kindness and compassion are dwindling?
I have a strong faith in humanity, but the past handful of years has shaken that faith pretty hard. When I step back, though, I realize that most of my perception about the state of the world is coming from this electronic box in front of me. The nature of my work has me spending lots of time paying close attention to the media and spending lots of time on social media—which can be useful, but which also thrives on viral negativity. It’s easy to walk way from a social media scroll session with the perception that people in general are getting worse.
But that’s not what the data shows. While there are some serious issues we need to deal with, people in general have been actuallymore excellent to one another. In fact, the World Happiness Report, which uses data from Gallup World Poll, shared that people volunteered, donated and helped strangers 25% more in 2021 than before the pandemic. The report authors called it “a pandemic of benevolence.”
Just let that shot of faith in humanity sink in. Don’t fight it. It’s a good thing, truly. Let’s let it be good without trying to explain it away. It’s OK to shift our focus from the negative to the positive. It’s energizing. It gives us hope. It reminds us that there is always good happening in the world at the same time as the bad.
It’s also OK to take a break from the headlines and indulge in some purely feel-good content. Those delightful little doses of endorphins from watching a cute animal or baby video can be just the thing we need to help us through the day. No shame in that game.
Let’s celebrate good things large and small with these 10 smile-worthy tidbits from around the interwebs:
Jennifer Garner got the best birthday surprise from her childhood crush, Donny Osmond.
Jennifer Garner’s relatability is legendary and totally evidenced in this video. The part where she had to take off her sweater is the best. Such a pure, sweet reaction to a dream come true. Read the full story here.
Cameron the Lyft driver’s list of different drives he offers is hilariously genius.
Have you ever gotten into an Uber or Lyft or taxi and wished the driver would either talk more, or talk less, or stop talking, or talk about something else? Cameron lets his passengers choose what kind of ride they get, from the Small Talk Ride to the Therapy Ride to the Funny Ride to the Creepy Ride. One ride even involves bubbles. Read the full story here.
12-year-old raises more than $300,000 for Ukraine with his handmade wooden bowl.
Best story ever. Gabriel Clark’s dad shared that his son was feeling down because kids had told him his woodworking habit wasn’t cool. That tweet resulted in a flood of support and prompted Gabriel to create a special wooden bowl to raise money to help the children of Ukraine. So many people pulling together to support a sweet kid and those impacted by war. Definitely worth reading the whole story here.
Fox enjoying a little banjo concert in front of a stunning natural backdrop.
Already the best big brothers 💛 I see lots of kisses & toys in Miller’s future! #dogmeetsbaby #petsoftiktok #goldenretriever #feelgood #ComeDanceWithMe
There are a gazillion videos on TikTok using this audio, but nothing compares to the original. These pandemic babies are something else, I tell you. (Also, “I JUST A BABY!!!” is now my excuse for doing anything I don’t want to do, thankyouverymuch.)
Dad had no idea he was auditioning for “Britain’s Got Talent,” then brought the house down.
Sorry, this is both smile-worthy and tear-worthy, so you might want to grab a tissue before watching. So dang sweet.
Believe it or not, there really was a “pandemic of benevolence” in 2021.
The conclusion of the 2022 World Happiness Report ought to give you a boost of faith in humanity:
“Although our three measures of prosocial behaviour—donations, volunteering and helping strangers—had differing levels and trends, all showed increases in 2021 in every global region, often at remarkable rates not seen for any of the variables we have tracked before and during the pandemic.
Global benevolence, as measured by the average of the three measures of prosocial behaviour, has increased remarkably in 2021, up by almost 25% of its pre-pandemic level, led by the helping of strangers, but with strong growth also in donations and volunteering.”
Definitely want the sound up on this one. This is the kind of pump-up we all need to give ourselves each day. “I’M RUNNED OUT OF POWER BUT I CAN STILL MAKE IT DOWN DIS BIG HILL.” Right on, little one.
Hope that brought many smiles to your face, friends! Come back next week for another roundup of joy and delight.
Sigrid loves to collaborate — this was clear when she teamed up with Griff for the bombastic “Head On Fire,” and then when she invited King Princess and MØ onto a newer, even bigger version of that track. Now, the Norwegian pop star is linking up with former metalheads Bring Me The Horizon, who recently collaborated with Ed Sheeran, for an inspirational song, “Bad Life.”
Despite its pessimistic title, “Bad Life” is about having strength. The pair have their own verses, describing their struggles and pain, but come together in the chorus to share hope for the future: “Well I know that you’re afraid / Things will always be this way / It’s just a bad day / Not a bad life,” they sing together. Who would’ve guessed the same person who wrote and screamed on 2008’s Suicide Season would be releasing such encouraging, wholesome anthems?
About the song, Sigrid said, “I’m so excited about ‘Bad Life’ being out in the world with the Bring Me boys! We’re really proud of this one, and we hope it can bring some comfort. It might not be the most likely collab, but we’ve been fans of each other for a while and we’re so happy we could collaborate on this song. And filming the video was an amazing and crazy experience in itself!”
In times of crisis and uncertainty (so the last several years) it can be easy to blame all of the problems in the world on the planet, right? What has the earth ever done for us? That’s what The Daily Show‘s Ronny Chieng asks in the segment, “Prove Me Wrong: Earth Day Edition.”
Chieng asks people on the street why the planet should be celebrated, to which some people agree that maybe…we shouldn’t be here. When was the last time you even pet a bird? In order to combat Chieng’s negativity, many pedestrians try to explain how it actually is important for us to take care of the only planet we have. “If we are not thankful for the earth, we’d be dead,” one passerby explains, to which Chieng responds, “I’m not thankful for the earth and I’m still alive.” When he’s right, he’s right!
Chieng then asks civilians to prove him wrong with the prompt: “Inside is better than outside,” which, to be fair, is true three months out of the year, depending on where you live. One fan explains, “The plants….relax you,” while another mentions that the inside has air conditioning and a fridge. Also true.
A child then impressively explains the concept of the dinosaurs and the economy. Chieng mocks, “What are you, an archeologist?” to which he responds, “No, I’m a kid.” Since kids will be on the planet a lot longer than us, let’s save the planet! Happy Earth Day!
Former White House Chief Of Staff Mark Meadows isn’t going quietly into the sunset, probably much to his own dismay. Not only did Trump get mad at him for making a less than flattering statement about the ex-president’s hair, but for several weeks, there’s been buzzing about him registering to vote in multiple states, and now, Washington Post‘s Fact Checker has done the leg work and revealed that Meadows’ was, in fact, simultaneously registered to cast his ballot in a trio of states.
This, of course, is a terrible look for any U.S. citizen and an especially bad one for a chief of staff whose boss directed the January 6 insurrectionists to “fight like hell” to overthrow Joe Biden’s 2020 election win. Yep, Washington Postconfirms “that until last week, Meadows was simultaneously registered to vote in three different states — North Carolina, Virginia and South Carolina.” At present, he’s no longer registered in North Carolina (as USA Today recently added), but the mess has been made.
Especially since Meadows was all about preaching “election integrity,” the fallout will likely continue from what could, in fact, be voter fraud. And The Daily Show slid onto Twitter with a fitting entry of mockery: the cinematic trio of Spideys.
Okay, that headline promises a lot, I’m not going to deny that. But I’d also argue that building deeper flavors into simple meals isn’t that hard either. You can make some everyday grocery store spices, butter, and stock/broth go a long way with a little nudging and finesse in the kitchen. And one of the best ways to test that is to skip buying packages of “taco seasoning” and just make an awesome braised taco meat yourself.
It’ll take you 15 minutes from beginning to end, I promise. And it’ll be so much better.
The key to making great (simple) taco meat at home is a quick braise with real stock, toasting spices in the pan, and using fat to create a “saucy” texture — kind of like a basic pan sauce (see, we’re already delivering on “elevated”). The trick is to work while the meat cooks so that everything’s ready once that quick braise is done. That’s how I can claim this only takes 15 minutes to make. Well, that and getting all your spices ready beforehand.
Before we dive in, I’m using ground beef for this. I was hankering for a crunchy cafeteria taco but good ones, so that’s what I made. I’ve also used this method on chicken breast and skirt steak before. Simply cut the meat into bite-sized pieces and then follow the steps exactly the same as listed below with a little fat to get the cooking process started. Naturally, you can also use Beyond, Impossible, or beans for this fast braise too, if you’re looking for a vegan option.
Anyway, let’s get into it and make some seriously well-flavored taco meat for some lunch tacos.
This is all pretty straightforward stuff that you’ll be able to find at any grocery store. The key to mounting the braising liquid at the end to create a pan sauce base is the butter. You can’t really rely on olive oil or even beef fat from the pan to mount a sauce (emulsify liquid and fat) in the same way. You need butter and its creamy fat for that.
As for the beef stock, the deeper the flavor profile, the better your end product will be. I make stock from old t-bones, oxtails, random roasted bones, and tons of root veg. If you’re buying some, use the best you can find but don’t use “low-sodium” versions or bullion cubes. They won’t cut it. Remember, this is about elevating flavor, and you really need to use decent stock to do that in something this low-fi. Well, that and the aforementioned butter.
Zach Johnston
Optional for taco build:
Taco shells
Cheddar cheese, grated
Iceberg lettuce, shredded
Tomato, diced
White onion, diced
Hot sauce
Zach Johnston
What You’ll Need:
Cutting board
Standard frying pan or cast-iron skillet
Kitchen knife
Wooden spoon
Box grater
Measuring cup and spoons
Zach Johnston
Method:
Add the ground meat into a cold frying pan and put it on medium-high heat. Don’t add any oil for frying, the fat from the meat will render out and create plenty. Use a wooden spoon to break up the ground meat into small bits. Add salt and pepper and let brown on one side. Then use the wooden spoon to turn over the browned meat to continue cooking and breaking up with the spoon.
Once the meat is fully browned and there’s a good layer of rendered fat in the pan, create an open space in the middle and add the onions into the beef fat. Stir occasionally and let the onions fry until translucent.
Once the onion is translucent (about two to three minutes), stir the onion into the meat and push the meat and onions to the side. Scoop out excess beef fat and save it for cooking later. If you don’t remove some of the excess fat (not all), you’ll have super greasy taco meat, which makes a big mess when trying to eat the taco.
In the empty space on the bottom of the pan (there should still be a small amount of beef fat at the bottom of the pan), add the spices and herbs to activate them on the heat. After about 15 seconds, they’ll burst with aromas. Mix them into the meat/onion mix.
Add the cup of beef broth and stir in until well mixed.
Keep the heat on medium-high and let the whole thing briskly simmer for about five minutes or until the fluid is reduced by 2/3, stirring occasionally (this is also when you get get your toppings ready for your tacos).
Stir in the butter to mount the sauce. The broth/sauce should almost immediately have a thicker texture.
As soon as the sauce thickens, turn the heat off. You’re ready to make tacos!
Zach Johnston
Bottom Line:
Zach Johnston
These hit the spot. Let’s focus on the taco meat though. It was juicy and spicy but not runny or greasy (see the plate below). That’s a perfect balance if you ask me. There were plenty of Tex-Mex vibes to the whole thing, but the meat is what really shined the most in the taco. It was just the right amount of spice that also had this veneer of silkiness thanks to the buttery pan sauce base.
Overall, this is an easy go-to that’s miles ahead of any packet. It’s crisp, meaty, spicy, and silky without being overly messy or greasy. I ate four and was very happy.
Zach Johnston
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This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
