Month: April 2022

I still remember where I was the second I fell in love with guacamole. Up until that point in life, I had, like probably a lot of kids, a basic aversion to green foods. And especially creamy green foods. I think kids see guacamole and imagine creamed spinach or something. My go-to Mexican restaurant order back then was the flautas and I always used to order them without the guac, which seems like pure lunacy to me now.

Then, when I was about 19, my college housemate invited me to go to the beach with his family. After a morning of jetskiing, we staggered back to a foldout table where I watched his mom cut open fresh, ripe avocados, mash them up with a fork, and season them with salt and garlic salt. That was the whole recipe, and we absolutely devoured it like hyenas pulling at a carcass, accompanied by nothing but crappy store-bought Tostitos. The sense memory has stayed with me all these years. That was the day that I became an unabashed avocado piggy. I can’t imagine having people over for Mexican food or Margs (like, say, for a Cinco De Mayo party) and not having some guac on the table.

If you have an abundance of nicely ripe avocados that you’ll be eating seconds after you mash them, I’d still say that basic avocados-salt-garlic salt recipe is ideal (downsides are that it’s not going to keep, at all, and with no fillers, you’re going to need a lot of avocados). That version is proof that under ideal conditions at least, guacamole doesn’t need a lot of frills. Obviously, most times conditions aren’t ideal. And as I’ve grown, my tastes have continued to evolve anyway. For a long time, I was anti-tomatoes in guac. I’ve done a 180 on that, and now I like tomato in the right proportion. It adds a “fresh sweetness.” I also love the thin, green avocado salsa, which isn’t guac, exactly, but is super easy, cheap, and makes a perfect taco drizzler.

The most common guacamole add-ons are garlic, tomato, onion, cilantro, jalapeño, and lime or lemon, the latter at least as much to prevent oxidization (which turns guac an unappetizing shade of dull green-grey when you leave it too long) as for flavor. Up to, including, and adding to that basic framework, there are a number of different ways to do things. The internet, naturally, has some popular answers.

As a long-time (and, I’d like to think, pretty decent) guac maker, I thought we could prep for Cinco De Mayo this year by tasting some of the internet’s favorite guacamole recipes, judging them against each other, and maybe synthesizing what we learned for our own best-of-all-worlds recipe. Stay tuned for Vince’s Galaxy Brain Guac Recipe at the bottom.

Based on a Google Search for “best ever guac recipe,” the top five recipes were from Downshiftology (Lisa Bryan), WellPlated (Erin Clarke), Delish (Lena Abraham), AllRecipes (name not given), and FoodNetwork (Alton Brown).

To make it as fair as possible, I tried to make them all within the same short time frame, using the same avocados (I bought some with a little give to them the day before, then stuck them in a paper bag with a banana overnight to get them riper faster), and attempted to accomplish that by creating a guacamole assembly line of sorts. I prepped the most common ingredients first, then did the avocados last.

One quick note on chopping tomatoes here, which can be a pain in the ass. Most guac recipes (and all of these that called for tomatoes) suggest Roma tomatoes, which makes sense, considering you need tomatoes that are decently firm and not too watery for guac, and Romas tend to the be firmest, least watery tomato variety. You’re also going to want to leave out all the seeds and soft inner pulp, which Romas don’t have too much of. That can be kind of a pain in the ass.

Here’s my go-to method for that. First, you slice off a round at the bottom of the tomato — enough to expose the air cavities in the tomato center — and cube those.

Now, see those air cavities you just exposed? Stick your blade right in one, parallel to the outer wall of the tomato and slice vertically to remove a big rectangular slab.

Now you’ve got a big rectangular slab. And you know what to do with a rectangle, right? Just brush out the seeds and water off to the side, then cut vertical columns in that slab and then cut horizontal rows in those columns. BOOM, you’re on a one-way train to cube city, bitch, cube cube city, bitch.

You may also notice the three different kinds of onions up there. That’s right, some guac recipes call for white, yellow, or red onions, respectively, and they’re all pretty similar, yet slightly different. But we’ll get to that.

PART I: THE RANKINGS

5. Food Network

Classic Ingredients:

Avo, garlic, tomato, onion, lime, jalapeño, cilantro.

Onion Variety:

Unspecified.

Unique Elements/Ingredients:

Cumin, cayenne pepper, using a potato masher to mash the avocados, leaving it to sit at room temp for an hour before eating.

My Notes:

Looks: very vibrant and bright green, nicely chunky and not too watery.
Nose: Cumin definitely comes through on the nose. Lots of cumin.
Texture: Great texture, but all I taste is cumin. 4/10.

My Wife’s Notes:

“CUMIN?! COME ON! Too much.”

Bottom Line:

Sorry, Alton. Actually, not really, I’ve always taken an instant and instinctive dislike to that guy. His show combined whimsical Wes Andersonian production values with an unsmiling, beady-eyed host with the flat affect of a serial killer to bizarre effect. I always found it uniquely unsettling, like the styling on Big Bang Theory.

Aaaanyway, I thought I was going to hate Alton’s tip about the potato masher, but I tried it and thought, “You know what? Not bad.” If you include the cleaning time it’s probably not much of a time-saver, but there is something satisfying about the avocados not squirting away when you try to smush them. I mean what is this, my sex life? But seriously, folks…

The real killer here was the cumin. Listen, I’ve put cumin in guac before, I don’t think it’s an insane idea. But I used the suggested quantity here and it was all I could taste. None of the other guac recipes had it, and after tasting them all side by side I promise you won’t miss it. Cumin is a great spice, but I feel comfortable saying that you should positively leave it out of your guacamole. I also didn’t let this rest of an hour like it said, but I really doubt that would’ve made any difference. And anyway, f*ck that. It’s guac. At the most, you should wait exactly as long as it takes for your guests to arrive and no longer (assuming you have them — no shame in preparing guac for one, I’ve done it many times).

4. Wellplated

Classic Ingredients:

Avo, garlic, onion, roma tomato, lime.

Onion Variety:

Red.

Unique Elements/Ingredients:
Lime and lemon, plus “6-8 dashes hot sauce,” Worchestershire sauce, and black pepper.

My Notes:

Looks: Smoother as a result of the liquid sauces, and darker green from the Worchestershire. Less appealing to me.
Nose: Smells like ripe avo. Good.
Taste: Taste is very citrusy, but also with a weird vinegar note. It has a soy sauce-y, oily quality to it. It’s okay, but not what I think of when I think of avocado. 5/10

My Wife’s Notes:

“Least favorite by far, Worchesteshire heavy — why?? Watery/saucy.”

Bottom Line

Lemon? Fine. Black pepper? Why not? I usually put black pepper on my avocado toast, so that makes sense (this is why I’m so poor!). Hot sauce instead of chilis? Eh (I used Tapatio here). It saves you time, but adds water, which is guac’s enemy, for both flavor and texture. Worcestershire sauce? That’s gonna be a big no from me, dog. I see where they were going with this, trying to add a fishy funk (from the anchovy paste in Worcestershire) and an umami punch to their guacamole, but it just adds a weird vinegar note, not to mention makes the guac slightly darker in color and a smidge more watery. In fact, this one has four separate liquids — lime, lemon, hot sauce, and Worchestershire. The last is the worst of them because to me it tastes distinctly un-Mexican. Not to mention its worst sin, being annoying as shit to type. I think you could accomplish the same effect here better with some Maggi seasoning, which actually is widely used in Mexican and Mexican-American cooking and snacks, and is much more concentrated than W-fuck typing that again-shire.

Whether you need to accomplish that effect remains to be seen. I’m going to say no.

I was actually curious how the red onions and lemon juice here (this recipe had a distinctly Greek flair) affected the finished product, but, thanks to the hot sauce and War Chest The Shire, I couldn’t really taste it. For what it’s worth, my current favorite pico de gallo recipe has lemons instead of limes, so I don’t think that is a bad call in and of itself.

3. Delish

Classic Ingredients:

Avocado, lime, onions, cilantro, jalapeño.

Onion Variety:

white.

Unique Elements/Ingredients:

No tomato or garlic.

My Notes:

Looks: Nice bright green to look at, and lighter and chunkier because of the lack of water. Nice.
Nose: Pure avo.
Taste: Nice creamy texture, plus a little crunch from the onion. Needs a little salt so I added some. Beautiful texture but I do miss the garlic. And yeah probably the tomatoes too. 6/10.

My Wife’s Notes:

“Most plain, too bland compared to the rest, good choice for boring people.”

Bottom Line:

This one is simple, and keeping it simple while omitting the watery tomatoes gives it one of the best textures. This one is fine as a time saver, and it uses white onions, which would be my first instinct as well, but my biggest objection to it is the lack of garlic. I probably wouldn’t leave out tomatoes, but I definitely wouldn’t leave out garlic. That’s an absolute guac necessity, in my opinion. This was fine, but it just felt unfinished, especially judged head-to-head with the others.

2. AllRecipes

Classic Ingredients:

Avocado, lime, onions, cilantro, tomatoes, garlic.

Onion Variety:

Unspecified.

Unique Elements/Ingredients:

Dried cayenne pepper.

My Notes:

Looks: More or less like guac should — chunky but creamy, not too wet, not too dry.
Nose: more onion-y on the nose, but I did use the yellow onions for this one, which seems slightly stronger.
Taste: Fresh, creamy, and definitely garlic-heavy, but pretty good. There’s a vague hit of dry spice, but not in a bad way. 7.5/10

My Wife’s Notes:

“Good — missing one extra thing to make it great. It either needs more spice or more salt.”

Bottom Line:

This one is… pretty good. Mostly it’s a pretty classic guac — tomatoes, cilantro, onions, garlic. Cayenne is the outlier ingredient. The plus side of cayenne is that it’s a decent time saver. By far the biggest pain in the ass of guac (or salsa) making is cutting and de-seeding chilies. It’s a lot of small knife cuts, and a lot of hand washing. I wear gloves when I cut chilis now. Maybe that seems like overkill, but I’ve gotten chili fingers on my (and, on at least one occasion, other peoples’) genitals before and it is NOT fun. I used to work in a Chinese restaurant where I did a fair amount of chili handling, and at a certain point you can wash your hands all you want but that hot oil is going to be so deep in your finger grooves that your fingers are going to be deadly heat weapons for the next few hours.

Aaaanyway, powdered cayenne is a valiant attempt to skip all the chopping and maybe accidentally giving yourself or your significant other (or these days, my infant son) a pepper crotch. It also takes the guesswork out of the heat that comes with jalapeños, some of which are damn near as hot as scotch bonnets, and others of which are damn near as mild as bell peppers. BUT, I do think you lose some noticeable chili flavor without jalapeños. No one would complain about this guac if you served it, but it was slightly not quite as good as my top pick.

1. Downshiftology

Classic Ingredients:

Avocado, lime, onions, cilantro, tomatoes, garlic, jalapeño

Onion Variety:

Yellow.

Unique Elements/Ingredients: None to speak of, though it does have double the garlic of the other two recipes that included garlic.
My Notes:

Texture is very chunky. It looks nice though, very fresh and giving the impression that it’s going to balance well on a chip.
Taste: The taste is a really nice balance of creamy, garlicky, cilantro, lime, and crunch. It’s definitely pretty garlicky, but for the most part I have no notes. This is what I think of as a very classic guac, and it’s hard to quibble with much. 8/10

My Wife’s Notes:

“Garlic heavy. Tastes a lot like [Vince’s Galaxy Brain guac, which she tasted at the same time] though not as “fresh and delish”.”

Bottom Line:

This is a classic guac. It’s going to make your breath smell like garlic, but who do you really have to impress anyway? You should be so lucky. I don’t feel like I need to “fix” this one, but I do think a couple pretty small tweaks are in order to make it just a smidge better. Which brings me to…

PART II: Vince’s Galaxy Brain Guacamole Recipe

Okay, before I get to this I’m going to do what all internet recipe writers do and put lots of words above it, solely to piss you off. Whatever, indulge me. And anyway, I feel compelled to explain why I did what I did here.

The Lime/Lemon Acid Conundrum: Guac needs citric acid, both to slow down oxidation and for flavor. The downside is that it’s also liquid, which isn’t great for guac texture, and you can also easily overdo it. I love a nice tart pico, but over-limed guac, like the kind you get at Chipotle (which I assume they over-lime to keep from oxidizing) honestly sucks. I don’t even consider Chipotle guac guacamole, I don’t know why anyone would drop an extra two bucks on that one-note garbage.

Vince’s Solution:

Tajín. If you’ve ever had fruit at a Mexican fruit stand or street corn I’m willing to bet you’ve seen this stuff. In Guadalajara, street vendors mix it with Maggi and put it on potato chips (it’ll give you high blood pressure, but at least you’ll eat well). Its main ingredients are chili powder and… dehydrated lime juice. Which seemed perfect for our purposes here. Basically, I was trying to get the lime flavor and deoxidizing properties of lime without the liquid, which I think this stuff accomplishes.

NOTE: Many claim that leaving the avo pits in the bowl helps slow down oxidization. Anecdotally, I agree (though the science seems to discredit it) and always do this. — Ed

The Onion Question, And The Onion Technique:

These recipes called variously for white, yellow, or red onions. I never did a control group so I can’t point to any science on this. Anecdotally, I can say that all the Mexican restaurants near me whose salsa I like best seem to use white, so white it is. More importantly, none of these recipes did what I always do with my salsa and guac onions: RINSE THEM SHITS.

First I chop, then I put my chopped onions in a wire strainer. Then I run the chopped onion under cold water for a few seconds. This, I know I read or saw somewhere (can’t remember where, sorry), removes a little bit of the bite and sharpness from the onions. I then tap the strainer against the counter to remove as much water as possible and sprinkle a little salt on them. True, none of the guacs I sampled for this tasted too sharp or oniony, and this step risks adding unnecessary water, but I say live dangerously. Rinsing your onions lessens the chances that you’ll accidentally over-onion your guac and ruin it.

But Chopping Jalapeños Sucks, Bro. Plus I Pepper Crotched Myself.

Chopping jalapeños sucks, and jalapeños vary widely in intensity. But that chili flavor is an important guac component. What’s a boy to do?

BUST OUT THE MICROPLANE, SON! I also opted for serrano, which packs more of that green chili flavor into a smaller, more intensity-consistent package. True, they’re even more of a pain in the ass to chop than jalapeños, which I assume is why most recipes don’t call for them. But that’s where the fancy grater, that, if you’re anything like me, you already own comes in. Chopping schmopping, just zest that shit right into the guac. I do like small chili chunks for salsa, but guac already has chunks, and I think the more diffuse heat from the chili oils the microplane grater provides creates actually works well for guacamole.

Dry Spice? No. But Kinda.

Alton Brown’s recipe with the cumin was a cumin bomb, and I don’t have any specific objections to cayenne or black pepper. And I’ll always have that first guac with the garlic salt — which probably had some other stuff in it too, like dehydrated parsley and some other flavors — somewhere in the back of my mind. My innovation here? Lawry’s seasoning salt. Most people have it (or something very similar) in the pantry. It’s very similar to regular salt but adds just a little special kick without anything too offputting.

And Now For Something Completely Controversial…

I know, I know, suggesting putting dairy in guac can get you killed on some corners of the internet. I probably would’ve challenged myself to a fistfight over this circa 2009. But a little dairy (and I’m only suggesting a minuscule amount here, like a half teaspoon) is great at keeping guacamole from turning brown. And I’ve witnessed first-hand taqueros in Mexico adding mayonnaise to their guac to for the same reasons.

Mayo does still seem a bridge too far, but sour cream at least is pretty common in certain parts of Mexican and Tex-Mex cuisine. Mexican-style sour cream is a little better than regular, and Salvadoran-style is a little better than Mexican style, so here we are. Just add the smallest amount your spoon can hold and mix it in at the end. The taste won’t change much and the texture and color will be juuuust a little bit better.

My Wife’s Notes On My Guac (she did not see me prepare it or know what was in it):

“A lil’ kick! Fresh onion, tomato, cilantro… tastes ‘fresh & spicy.’”

Jesus Christ, Will You Just Give Us The Stupid Recipe Already?

FINE, fine.

• 3 ripe avocados
• 1/2 of a small white onion (chopped, rinsed, and lightly rubbed with a pinch of salt)
• 2 Roma tomatoes, cubed and deseeded (see note above)
• 1 teaspoon smashed and minced garlic (I’m measuring in teaspoons here because cloves can vary widely in size)
• 3 tablespoons chopped cilantro (cilantro quantities are hilariously unscientific, let’s be honest)
• About 1 serrano pepper the size of a finger
• 1/2 teaspoon Lawry’s seasoning salt, plus more to taste (call it a heaping half teaspoon)
• 3 shakes Tajín
• 1/2 teaspoon sour cream (I like the Salvadoran kind but whatever works).

Directions:

Take your three avocados and PUT THEM UP YOUR ASS! Jk, jk. Halve them, take out the pits with your knife, and scoop out the halves into a mixing bowl with your spoon. Sprinkle the avocados with your Lawry’s and Tajin. Just eyeball it, give ’em a light dusting. More Lawry’s than Tajin.

Then mash ’em up chunk style. Use a fork, use a potato masher, find a smooth-skinned neighborhood man with delicate fingers and have him squeeze them in his palms while you tweak your filthy little nipples. Whatever your bag, man, it’s your guacamole.

Add all that other shit to your mashed avocados and stir it up good.

Put a chip in the guacamole. Put that chip in your mouth. Feel the good vibes as they emanate from your scalp and radiate down your arms and throughout your entire body. It’s electric! You’re alive! You’ve become a beam of pure white light! Luxuriate in that sensation. You have won the guacamole today.

—

Read our Top Chef Power Rankings here. Vince Mancini is on Twitter.

Today is a major day for Kehlani, as it marks the release of her third album, Blue Water Road. To mark the occasion, she released a video for “Everything,” a smooth and tranquil tune that sees Kehlani infatuated with a well-rounded special someone.

“Everything” is a solo cut, but the new album sees Kehlani collaborating with Justin Bieber, Blxst, Syd, Jessie Reyez, Ambré, and Thundercat, as well as getting songwriting contributions from Anthony Clemons Jr., Ravyn Lenae, and Jacob Collier.

Kehlani previously said of the new album, “Blue Water Road is a destination in my mind. I’m giving everyone access. It’s an emotional journey, a sexual journey, and a spiritual journey. To me, the album is like a glass house. It’s light, transparent, and the sun is shining right through it.”

Meanwhile, Kehlani is fresh off throwing shade at Noel Gallagher, who recently called Harry Styles’ music “worthless” and claimed he doesn’t actually write his own songs. Kehlani has since responded, “That person — whoever that is — can kiss my ass.”

Watch the “Everything” video above.

Blue Water Road is out now via Atlantic. Get it here.

Kehlani is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

We hold these truths to be self-evident that Vick is Mexico, Finkle is Einhorn, and Romney is Delecto.

In 2019, Slate’s Ashley Feinberg uncovered that Republican senator and one-time presidential hopeful Mitt Romney had been maintaining a secret Twitter account under the Master of Disguise-ass name of Pierre Delecto. “Of the 257 tweets the account has liked over the last eight years, 30 of them came from the official @SenatorRomney account, 28 came from the official @MittRomney account, seven were tweets quoting either the @SenatoryRomney or @MittRomney accounts, and three included a direct mention of one or the other,” Feinberg reported. Romney later fessed up (“C’est moi,” he said) and made the account private, but he’s back to his mysterious ways:

Republican Sen. Mitt Romney reportedly likes to go incognito while in Palm Beach, Florida. The Utah conservative has been wearing hats while dining out in the wealthy oceanside enclave, where he has a vacation home, in an effort to disguise himself, a family friend told the authors of the new book This Will Not Pass: Trump, Biden, and the Battle for America’s Future.

“If he were recognized by Trump supporters there, there was a good chance he would be harassed,” authors Jonathan Martin and Alex Burns wrote. Palm Beach is the home of Mar-a-Lago, former-president Donald Trump’s beloved club where he spends most of his time wandering aimlessly (even if his neighbors don’t want him there).

The hat is a good start for a disguise, but if Mitt really wants to go undercover, he needs a fake mustache. A Ted Lasso fan, of all people, should know this.

(Via Insider)

Melody’s Echo Chamber, the project of French musician Melody Prochet, became a staple among neo-psychedelia listeners with her 2012 self-titled debut album. Though she’s only dropped two albums since, her latest being the just-released Emotional Eternal, Prochet prioritizes enchanting melodies and spellbinding songs that examine the world with childlike wonder.

Prochet’s playfulness on Emotional Eternal is no accident; The album was written after she gave birth to her daughter and was overcome with a renewed bliss. Songs like “Looking Backward” call back to her early days with swirling chords and fuzzy vocal treatment, while others like “Alma” lean into groovy compositions and emotive strings.

Ahead of the release of Emotional Eternal, Prochet tells Uproxx about her love of collaboration, crashing on tour with a lot of smelly men, and why she always performs barefoot in our latest Q&A.

What are four words you would use to describe your music?

Echoes of the Unknown

It’s 2050 and the world hasn’t ended and people are still listening to your music. How would you like it to be remembered?

I just saw Only The Earth Is Eternal movie; the spiritual testament of a wise old man from Montana, my favorite poet Jim Harrisson; I personally love envisioning the natural world taking over temples and skyscrapers and the sound of silence.

What’s your favorite city in the world to perform?

It’s been in Pioneertown, at Pappy’s and Harriet, between two Coachella weekends. It was very special. I’ve enjoyed touring in America the most I think, it was epic, the natural sanctuaries are mind-blowing and the crowds were insanely welcoming and had the best energy (with Mexico).

Who’s the person who has most inspired your work, and why?

It was actually several encounters that shaped the sound of the music I love to create, I love to create in a collaborative way, it is a kind of spiritual experience I often have shared with special people I deeply trust and connect to in a special vibrational way. I guess living in all those beautiful foreign otherworlds, all those magical landscapes and places for a bubble of time were inspiring.

Where did you eat the best meal of your life?

The last great meal I remember was on the Elephantine Island in Egypt, we stayed at a Nubian man’s guest house. It was absolute magic and the food heavenly, I have no idea how the vegetable tasted so good, he cultivated his veggies on the Nile. It was a small oasis in the desert.

What album do you know every word to?

Radiohead’s and Broadcast albums, they were two obsessions of mine being younger.

What was the best concert you’ve ever attended?

Dungen in Malmo, Silver Apples in Stockholm, Flaming Lips down South Western Australia

What is the best outfit for performing and why?

Bare feet. I saw my former producer do it and I tried and loved the feeling of getting grounded and so I don’t think I’ve ever performed with shoes on.

Who’s your favorite person to follow on Twitter and/or Instagram?

I guess Chris Daddy Dave on IG, legendary drummer who always post great snippets of Groove and also hilarious content of church services and animals.

What’s your most frequently played song in the van on tour?

That must have been “Hallogallo” by Neu!

What’s the last thing you Googled?

“Ethiopian tribe dig pits to turn water out of steam”

What album makes for the perfect gift?

Emotional Eternal

Where’s the weirdest place you’ve ever crashed while on tour?

Tour bus with lots of smelly men.

What’s the story behind your first or favorite tattoo?

I don’t have one but my childhood best friend turned into a brilliant tattoo artist (Silly Jane) and I loved her drawings and the symbol of asking her to make a piece for my previous album Bon Voyage‘s artwork.

What artists keep you from flipping the channel on the radio?

World music, any kind of folklore, for example I love Turkish music, Bulgarian choirs, Ethiopian music.

What’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done for you?

The experience of creating music with such special people has been a great gift I’ve been given, I’m grateful to them all. But I think having children is the highlight of my life as challenging as it can be.

What’s one piece of advice you’d go back in time to give to your 18-year-old self?

Dance into the Unknown.

What’s the last show you went to?

Egyptian musicians in Luxor.

What movie can you not resist watching when it’s on TV?

I ended up only watching amazing documentaries on the computer because I am free from the city and the TV. I still love going to the movie theater.

What’s one of your hidden talents?

I love to write and cultivate poetry in secrecy.

Emotional Eternal is out now via Domino. Get it here.

Some of the aritsts covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

Tulsa, Oklahoma to be blunt, has had it rough as far as Hollywood is concerned. Long after being the setting for S.E. Hinton’s The Outsiders, the city was reduced to a place where TV characters were banished. That happened on Justified (squirrelly Gary left Kentucky and was tracked down by Wynn Duffy and Quarles while giving a motivational speech at a Tulsa hotel) and on Friends (Chandler got banished in T-Town by his workplace, where Salma Blair tried to seduce him, so strange). Years passed, and finally, Tulsa became the setting for HBO’s Watchmen and an episode of Lovecraft Country. It’s not usually a place where good things are depicted onscreen, but things are looking up for Bill Hader’s hometown.

Currently, FX’s Reservation Dogs (which usually films near Muskogee) has been filming scenes in Tulsa, and oh hey, Sylvester Stallone is in the city to shoot the authentically-named Tulsa King. The series is one of the newest projects from Yellowstone creator Taylor Sheridan, and Sly has been spotted while staying at a downtown hotel, and he’s filming up a storm as a New York mob capo who somehow ends up in Tulsa. Here’s a first look at Stallone as Dwight “The General” Manfred for Paramount+. He’s standing in front of the city’s perpetual construction as well as the Boston Avenue Methodist Church

Here’s how Sheridan previously described Stallone’s character:

“He’s a lifetime gangster. He took the fall for the bosses and went to prison for 25 years, kept his mouth shut, and now he comes out. Next thing you know, he’s in Tulsa. He has to now start a new life, create a gang. They want him to be an earner. That’s when the fun begins.”

As of now, Tulsa King hasn’t publicized a release date, but there’s plenty more coming from Sheridan, too. In addition to the O.G. Yellowstone series, there’s also the 1883 spinoff as well as the forthcoming 6666 and 1932. Stallone’s show will be outside the universe proper, as will Zoe Saldana in Lioness and Billy Bob Thornton in Land Man. And if you want more “vintage” Sheridan, you can always go back and revisit him as Charming Deputy Chief David Hale in Sons Of Anarchy. RIP to Hale and Opie!

The producer of the strangest but most iconic reality show The Circle is teaming up with Alan Cumming for Peacock‘s latest reality series. The Tony award-winning actor (who has recently been searching for his beloved chimpanzee) will host and produce the series for the streaming service.

The Traitors will be set in a remote castle among the Scottish Highlands, as contestants work as a team to complete harrowing and dramatic missions in order to earn money. The catch (there always is one!) is that three of the contestants are traits who attempt to manipulate the gameplay and send others home so they can keep the $250,000 price themselves. The 10-episode series is expected to go into production later this month.

Jenny Groom, EVP of Unscripted Content, told Deadline: “We can’t think of a better person to serve as puppet master of this series than Alan Cumming. His wit and eccentricity will add the perfect layer of comedy to this thrilling world of high stakes deception.” Studio Lambert CEO Stephen Lambert added, “In a game of secrecy, suspicion and plot twists, who better to take the helm and guide our game players through the drama and challenging missions than our very own Scot, Alan Cumming.”

We already know Cummings can play a deceiving mastermind who controls minions from a remote castle, so his hosting duty will come as no surprise to his loyal fans, or Spy Kids enthusiasts.

While preparing to present the trailer for her highly-anticipated movie Don’t Worry Darling starring Harry Styles and Florence Pugh, Olivia Wilde was served with legal papers from ex Jason Sudeikis. The two split in 2020, and have two kids together.

The move confused those in attendance, though Wilde calmly took the papers and continued with her presentation. Wilde has been linked with Styles for the past year and was recently seen attending his Coachella set. The two allegedly began dating while Wilde was directing the film.

A source told Page Six that the whole ordeal was confusing and inappropriate, and sent Wilde reeling. “Olivia was confused when she was handed the envelope, and she was even more confused when she opened it,” the source shared.

The source added, “It seemed unthinkable to her, and it took a moment to set in, but as mortifying as it was, she did not want to give a reaction. She was there to introduce a project that is near and dear to her heart, and for someone to try to take that moment from her — whether it be Jason, a process server or anyone else — was beyond inappropriate.”

Sedeikis’ team insists the Ted Lasso actor had no knowledge of when and where the papers would be served, which can be at the descretion of the legal team that was hired.

It’s hard to nail Bakar down — in terms of genre, style, and, in his early days, even by a name. With each of the London-bred singer’s songs, he wants the listener to cherish the moment in which they are hearing and feeling it. On Bakar’s debut album, February’s Nobody’s Home, each track unfolds like the pages of a book, detailing his most cherished moments, lining in Hampstead, Camden, and Chalk Hill.

We get a glimpse of Bakar’s day-to-day life in the video for “NW3,” the title of which refers to the postal code of London’s Hampstead district. Whether he’s alone on a rooftop, enjoying a meal with friends, or smoking in his flat, Bakar finds solace in each moment, often getting lost in time, dancing throughout.

But before Bakar, born Abubakar Baker Shariff-Farr, “found the answer” in “NW,” he released much of his music on Soundcloud beginning in 2015, anonymously. Oftentimes, he would upload vocal freestyles over samples of King Krule and Bombay Bicycle Club, many of his raw, unfiltered lyrics opening windows to his soul. One of these tracks is 2016’s “Sharing Is Caring,” on which, he reels over a love lost.

“Hope that you believe like how I believe / Gave you my love, you sold it back to me / Play with love too much, you might lose it / Smoked my last Camel but we can twos it,” Bakar sings, as adlibbed hums and coos give the song a forlorn and haunting element.

The influence of Kid Cudi and Dev Hynes is present in Bakar’s work, the latter of which Bakar has been a fan of since Hynes’ Lightspeed Champion days. Hynes released his most recent album as Lightspeed Champion in 2010, and Bakar says Hynes and Bloc Party’s Kele Okereke were among his favorite artists during his adolescence. As Bakar is wont to live in the moment, these are probably the closest hints we’ll ever get in regards to his actual age. In a 2018 interview with Wonderland, following the release of his debut mixtape, Badkid Bakar said his age was “infinity.”

A year after that interview, Bakar would release an EP called Will You Be My Yellow?, which contained the breakthrough hit, “Hell N Back.” Like Bakar himself, his music is ageless, as he remarks on a tumultuous relationship over jazzy horns and subtle drum patterns.

“Could you tell where my head was at when you found me? Me and you went to hell and back just to find peace,” he sings, delivering soft, silky vocals, with his soulful, British accent still audible throughout.

“Hell N Back” became a sleeper hit in the United States, reaching the top of the Adult Alternative Charts 27 weeks after its release, breaking the record for the longest climb to No. 1. Bakar had actually begun the process of writing Nobody’s Home before he wrote Will You Be My Yellow?, but the timing of the ideas he had conceived and the work he wanted to put out just wasn’t right.

“Will You be My Yellow? started picking up — you know, that song ‘Hell N Back’ started going crazy,” Bakar said in an interview with Document Journal. “It bought me some time, basically, to figure out the record. A couple songs [from my first try] were really potent. They stood the test of time. When I came back to Nobody’s Home in 2020, I was ready, long story short. I was so ready — the way the world was, all the topics, Palestine, this, that.”

On his proper debut, Bakar offers a collection of tracks that are both timely and timeless. He shares anecdotes of love and heartbreak, both romantic and familial. On a particular track, “Youthenasia,” he explores the dark parts of fame, and how his status has affected his role in his family.

“It’s like lately feel the pressure, I’ve been feelin’ nauseous / Lately like my mama has become my daughter / I wouldn’t change it for the world, man, this sh*t is awesome / I ain’t seen my dad in fifteen years, who would’ve thought it?,” he rap-sings over a thumping drum loop.

As the son of an immigrant mother from Tanzania, Bakar examines racial injustice on the track “The Mission,” while expressing a desire to create wealth for the generations of his family after him.

“All I ever hear is people talking about how bad nepotism is,” Bakar says in the song. “Do you know how badly I want some nepotism in my life?”

Since his breakthrough, Bakar has found fans in collaborators Dominic Fike, Kenny Beats, and Benee, as well as the late Virgil Abloh, the artistic creative director of Louis Vuitton’s menswear collection. Abloh even designed a special edition cover for Bakar’s Nobody’s Home. Though Bakar’s rise in the US may seem less rapid compared to that of the TikTok hitmakers of our time, his music, both old and new, still sounds fresh and timely, whether you were to have your first listen today, or months from now.

As we ease back into festival season, the tension continues when it comes to the unresolved tragedy of Travis Scott’s Astroworld festival, where ten people died. There have been many lawsuits, petitions to get him removed from Coachella, and conflicting attempts of damage control. The rapper was just recently announced as a headliner for Brazilian festival Primavera Sound, his first since the tragedy.

In the midst of all this, filmmaker Charlie Minn has been working on a documentary that’s (maybe insensitively) called Concert Crush: The Travis Scott Festival Tragedy. In a recent interview with Page Six, Minn said, “Travis Scott to me is a punk. In my opinion, he is a criminal. Ten people died. How do we get around that?”

“The reason he deserves criticism and jail time, he knew there was a problem,” he further explained. “He acknowledged an ambulance in the crowd. He noticed people passed out and stopped the show on three occasions. I’m not saying he knew people were dead, but he knew there was a problem. An ambulance is not an ice cream truck.”

The documentary is playing in select theaters in Texas starting today for just one week. It’s also available to stream online.

The Dallas Cowboys opted to grab some reinforcements for their offensive line during the first round of the 2022 NFL Draft. The team picked 24th overall and decided to select Tulsa tackle Tyler Smith, a gigantic lineman who could step in right away and plug a hole for the team at left guard.

The team was quite high on selecting Smith, something we learned thanks to Jerry Jones’ perpetual flair for the dramatic that can sometimes come back to bite him. During the team’s press conference in the aftermath of his selection, Jones explained that Smith was the highest-ranked guard on their board over a pair of other players, Boston College’s Zion Johnson and Texas A&M’s Kenyon Green, by holding up the team’s draft board and revealing it to the media.

Everyone up on the dais seemed to laugh at it, even though Jones’ son and Cowboys CEO Stephen Jones had to tell him on a few occasions to put the sheet of paper down. Anyway, if you see any team jump in front of the Cowboys before they pick next — the 56th overall pick — you can probably assume it is because they managed to decipher whatever this sheet of paper said and realized Dallas was going to pick a guy they wanted.