Madison Cawthorn’s definitely a “sore loser” after losing his North Carolina primary last week. He then weakly promised, “The best is yet to come,” but John Oliver couldn’t resist giving the incendiary, far-right representative a final push out the congressional door. “[S]tates held their primaries resulting in, among other things, Madison Cawthorn losing his,” the Last Week Tonight host declared to begin this week’s episode on HBO. “Meaning he has now officially set a record for shortest term to ever be served by a little b*tch.”
Madison, of course, fell from swift grace after a conservative PAC (which also wants to unseat Lauren Boebert) took it upon themselves to campaign him out of office, and his reaction to his naked humping video sealed his political fate more than the footage itself. He’s since vowed to go “Dark MAGA,” and no one’s quite sure what that means, but in the meantime, Oliver would like to alert everyone to another Ultra-MAGA candidate in Pennsylvania. Nope, we’re not talking about Senate hopeful Dr. Oz or Kathy Barnette (who is out of the running) but a gubernatorial candidate, Doug Mastriano, a January 6 attendee who won his race’s primary, and here’s what Oliver had to say about the guy:
“Yeah, he marched on the capital on Jan. 6, something which has become a weird point of pride for Republicans. It’s like hearing someone brag they were on the boat the night Natalie Wood died. I don’t know what’s more troubling there: that you think that makes you sound good or that some people might actually agree with you.”
From there, Oliver pointed out that Mastriano promised to install a secretary of state who’s “world-class person,” but as our host points out, “the only truly world-class people on the planet are Dolly Parton, and end of list.” Yup, Pennsylvania’s sure enduring a clown show this election season, and that Senate race remains one to watch. The GOP side is still subject to a recount and might go to Dr. Oz, but on the Democrat side, John Fetterman is sure to shake things up and (literally) tower over everyone. The world’s a dumpster fire, yes, but at least November won’t be boring.