A day after his emotional monologue about the school shooting in Uvalde, Texas, that left 21 people dead, including 19 kids, Jimmy Kimmel focused his anger on Ted Cruz.
“He’s such an interesting character,” the late-night host said during the monologue of Thursday’s episode of Jimmy Kimmel Live. “I mean, his need for attention is so powerful, he’s been everywhere this week, doing interviews, pontificating in that little ‘I care’ voice that he puts on defending this disturbing allegiance these guys have to semi-automatic weapons, which Ted says aren’t the problem. The problem, according to Ted Cruz, is that schools need to be more like prisons.” The GOP is desperately trying to frame what happened in Uvalde (and Buffalo, and Newtown, and…) as not a gun problem, but “a door problem,” Kimmel said. “Get rid of the doors. Makes total sense.”
He continued, “Maybe we should only have an exit door on schools, so no one can come in. They’ll see the sign, they’ll turn right around. There will be no problems at all. And Ted knows a lot about doors. You know, doors are what he leaves his dog to look out of when it gets cold and he sneaks off to Cancun like Cruz-ella de Vil.” (Poor Snowflake.)
Kimmel called Cruz’s solution to America’s gun epidemic a “stupid fake idea. Listen, Ted, I know you’d rather spend your days doing impressions of The Simpsons and googling stepmom porn, but at some point you might have to get down to it and do your job, and doors ain’t it.” You can watch the Jimmy Kimmel Live monologue above.