Month: May 2022

Award shows are stupid, acting shouldn’t be a competition, etc. But come on: it’s a crime, one that even Lalo wouldn’t commit, that Better Call Saul star Rhea Seehorn hasn’t been nominated for an Emmy. She’s on arguably the best show on TV, giving inarguably the best performance. I’d say “it’s time,” but it’s been time since season one.

Variety posted their predictions for the Best Supporting Actress category at the 2022 Emmys this week, led by Sarah Snook (Succession), Julia Garner (Ozark), J. Smith Cameron (Succession), and Seehorn. It’s a stacked category — other potential nominees include Jung Ho-Yeon for Squid Game, Christina Ricci for Yellowjackets, and Sydney Sweeney for Euphoria — but Odenkirk believes in his co-star.

“Everybody wise up!” he tweeted in response to Variety’s Twitter account wondering whether the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences will “finally recognize” Seehorn’s performance. Garner should be considered the favorite, considering she won in 2019 and 2020, but as Variety points out, Seehorn’s “added exposure” as a director could help her case. And if she doesn’t win this year, there’s always part two.

As for the rest of Saul‘s final season, Seehorn said that it will “blow people’s minds. I can’t wait for it to come out.” The people need to know what Lalo has been up to.

(Via Variety)

The Rundown is a weekly column that highlights some of the biggest, weirdest, and most notable events of the week in entertainment. The number of items could vary, as could the subject matter. It will not always make a ton of sense. Some items might not even be about entertainment, to be honest, or from this week. The important thing is that it’s Friday, and we are here to have some fun.

ITEM NUMBER ONE — Congrats to Spooge

My position on prequels is that they are weird. They can be good, sure, and they often are, but mostly they are weird. We already know what happens to all or most of the characters. We’re just filling in the stuff before all the other stuff we already saw. Again, it can work. But again, it’s… weird. This is high-level professional television criticism. It also brings us to Better Call Saul.

Better Call Saul is the prequel to Breaking Bad, which you probably know. It’s been a blast pretty much all the way through. We’ve seen old friends like Saul and Mike and Gus, we’ve met a slew of terrific new characters like Kim Wexler and Lalo Salamanca, and we’ve seen lots of little callbacks to the original series. There was one from this week’s episode that cracked me up. It happened just as the man we met as Jimmy McGill was full-on turning into Saul Goodman, working for cartels and opening new offices and all of it.

Specifically, it was this moment.

I actually did not catch this at first. I wrote up a whole recap without acknowledging the fact that we had seen Spooge before. Luckily, if you are wrong on the Internet, people will tell you. And people told me. A few times. And then I went on the Breaking Bad Wiki and looked up Spooge and remembered. He was in an episode from season two, about 13 years ago. He was a drug-addled mess in that episode and he and his drug-addled wife kidnapped Jesse and had a stolen ATM in their living room and he kept calling her “a skank” and then… let’s just let the Wiki summary take this one.

Jesse comes to and finds Spooge’s wife aiming his own gun at him while Spooge rifles through Jesse’s pockets. Later, Spooge leans the ATM against a chair and positioned himself underneath to drill into its base. Spooge once again argues with his woman and calls her a skank, in response, she pushes the ATM upright, crushing Spooge’s head. Nonplussed, Spooge’s wife grabs some dope off his body, crosses the room, and passes out on the couch. A shocked and panicked Jesse retrieves his gun from the body and begins wiping his fingerprints from around the house and off the ATM. As he does so, its door suddenly swings open and cash spills out.

I feel like a visual will help. It helped me. Also, I made this GIF and now I really want to use it. So… here we go.

I need you to take a few minutes to think about this one over the weekend. This guy — David Ury, who has been in everything, including my beloved Lodge 49 — got a call in 2022 to reprise a role he played in 2009 where he got his head crushed by an ATM and was named Spooge. Imagine being his agent and listening to that whole pitch and taking it to him and it all working out. It’s basically a miracle. We should have been talking about this all week. Some of us were. The people who were yelling at me, mostly.

I do appreciate it all. I like that Peter Gould and Vince Gilligan are doing it, just getting the whole band back together piece by piece, one instrument at a time, even if dopes like me who have little goldfish brains whiff on the recall the first time through. It made for a fun journey for me again this week. I got to reacclimate myself to the legend of Spooge. And I got to make that GIF. I didn’t even know how to make GIFs when that episode first aired. We’ve all come so far. You, me, Spooge, all of us.

ITEM NUMBER TWO — This is just a lovely piece of business

A few things here are not in dispute:

• Weird Al is the best
• Someone should have made a movie about Weird Al a long time ago
• It’s good that someone finally did

It’s also good that the movie about Weird Al is, well, weird. Super weird. The movie appears to be for music biopics what a Weird Al song is to the original version, which is to say that it keeps the general structure but makes everything about 200 percent sillier. I appreciate this, and him, so much. My colleague Josh Kurp wrote about the trailer when it was released this week and had this to say.

In the teaser trailer above, Radcliffe is a ripped, hard-drinking Yankovic, who in real life doesn’t drink and has never done drugs. “I’ve been around people that smoked dope, pot, Mary Jane, reefer. I enjoyed being around those people in college because it was very easy to make them laugh. But it was never my thing and my parents drilled into me not to ever take drugs, so out of respect for them I never did,” he told Rolling Stone. “Maybe when I’m 75 years old I might be ready for them. We’ll see what happens.”

This is just all really cool and I’m happy it exists. I’m also happy for Daniel Radcliffe, who is playing the fake ripped Weird Al in the movie about Weird Al’s alleged life. The dude made a ton of money playing Harry Potter throughout pretty much his entire youth, and was one of the most recognizable teenagers on the planet for all of his teens. Lots of kids don’t make it out of that in great shape, or at least take some time to right the ship. Daniel Radcliffe seems to have his head on pretty straight. He’s doing fun and goofy projects and not melting down in public and, again, playing a ripped version of Weird Al in a fake Weird Al biopic. That’s cool.

Good job by everyone here. Including me. I admittedly did less than Weird Al and Daniel Radcliffe to make all of this happen, but I did post the trailer and say how cool it was, which is not nothing. It’s just a tiny bit more than not nothing. But still. Not nothing.

ITEM NUMBER THREE — Barry remains a good show

Are you watching Barry? I hope, both because Barry is a great show and because it will make this next thing a lot easier to explain. It’s a scene from the second episode of this new season. It aired on Sunday. I saw it in a screener a few weeks ago and full-on shout-laughed at my computer, and I have been waiting for to it air ever since so I could talk about it. It was torture. I have a very difficult and serious job.

Anyway, short version, with as few spoilers as possible because, again, you should start watching Barry if you’re not: Henry Winkler’s character, acting coach Gene Cousineau, is running from a dangerous man who had just kidnapped him. As soon as the chase gets heated, though, the action cuts to a conversation at a dinner table between the couple in that screenshot up there. They are breaking up. The woman on the left is trying to figure out why the woman on the right is ending it. They go back and forth a little, and then you see Henry Winkler pop up in the yard behind them (he’s back there in the screencap), and then you see him tear off in fear, and then you see…

Well, this.

It was maybe the hardest I’ve laughed at any non-Holey Moley thing I’ve seen on television this year. Just perfect. The mixture of menacing and strange and stupid — I mean this as a compliment, I swear — created just about the best 90 seconds of television you can possibly make. I watched it a second time to grab these images and I cracked up all over again, even though I knew it was coming. Barry is a good show.

Speaking of Barry, there’s also this: Liz Shannon Miller interviewed Anthony Carrigan — my beloved NoHo Hank — last week. I had the pleasure of interviewing him last year. He’s a lovely man. Which is how and why you get answers like this when you ask him what you think is a straightforward question.

Looking forward — like, let’s say the show goes on for another few seasons and NoHo Hank survives, what’s something you’d really love to see him get to do?

Oh, wow. You know, let’s see. I don’t know. [Laughs] Maybe I should just say something that’s so unrealistic — maybe NoHo Hank going to Disneyland. Like, just that as a montage on its own, I feel like I would watch that. I would watch that as its own episode.

Hmm. Yes, I would watch that episode, too. I kind of need to watch that episode now. Hell, make it a two-parter. Give Hank a whole arc at Disney. Show me him riding Space Mountain. Show me him posing with Goofy and Pluto. Show me NoHo Hank with the little Mickey Mouse ears hat on. I was kind of joking when I started typing this paragraph but now I’m serious.

Bill Hader, if you’re reading this, please send NoHo Hank to Disney. Please. For me. And Anthony Carrigan. For me and Anthony Carrigan. Thank you.

ITEM NUMBER FOUR — I think about this a lot

There’s a great article about Jeopardy over at The Ringer this week. It’s by Claire McNear, who quite literally wrote the book on Jeopardy, so there was already an expectation it was going to be good, but then it also was really good. It’s nice when things work out like that. The whole thing is about the awkward little chat the host and contestants have coming out of the first commercial break, and specifically about how tough it is to keep coming up with quick and fun anecdotes to share about yourself when you’ve already won a slew of games in a row and burned through your best stories. It’s also about how it can sometimes be deeply, deeply funny (please watch that video up there), but mostly it’s about that first thing.

I think my favorite part was this bit about Jeopardy superchamp and noted rascal Ken Jennings.

With his games stretching across nearly six months, Jennings has said that coming up with fresh fodder to discuss with Trebek proved to be a real challenge—so much so that he started to get creative. “After my first round of shows, I was out of fun stories,” Jennings told Vulture in 2020. “But every week, Jeopardy! would call and be like, ‘You’re taping again next week, we need more stories for your cards!’ I didn’t have any other stories to share. I’m gonna admit that sometimes I’d make things up. I wouldn’t pretend to be a hero or anything, but you can put anything on those cards. The show doesn’t fact-check that stuff. Alex would look at my card and be like, ‘Hey, Ken, it says here you really like airline food.’ And I’d be like, ‘I do Alex, I kind of think it’s a fun treat!’”

While getting into the upper reaches of winning streaks means that the well of factoids starts to run dry, Roach says, it does have its advantages. “The thing that’s nice about getting into the higher numbers in terms of a run is like, at a certain point, I do think that you’re able to make up anecdotes that are basically just talking about how you’ve won a bunch of games,” she says. Indeed, what could be more relevant to Jeopardy! than having already won double-digit episodes of Jeopardy!?

That’s great. I love the idea of someone just lying in these. Who would know? Your family and friends, I guess, but that’s it. Say you climbed a mountain. Say you won a quiche bake-off in college. Say you have a dog named Randy Montreal. There’s really nothing stopping you.

I spend a lot of time thinking about what my first Jeopardy anecdote would be if I ever end up on the show. (I say “first” here because I expect to win many times.) I think I would have to go with the time in high school when I was pitching in a baseball game and I beaned the same kid twice in one inning. That’s a good story. Although, it does dawn on me now that you guys might think I’m making this up. I did just go through a whole thing about how I would lie on the show. But I’m serious about this. It really did happen. As far as any of you know. But it did. They batted around the lineup on me and he came up the second time batting from the opposite side of the plate with a snotty little smile on his face. I would never lie about this. Again, as far as you know.

In conclusion…

It would be hilarious to hear Paddington explain the entire plot of Paddington 2 in little 90-second blips over the course of like a 35-episode winning streak. That’s the main thing you should take away from this.

ITEM NUMBER FIVE — Impostors at MarkWahlberg dot com

IMPOSTORS AT MARKWAHLBERG DOT COM

IMPOSTORS AT MARKWAHLBERG DOT COM

IMPOSTORS AT MARKWAHLBERG DOT COM

IMPOSTORS AT MARKWAHLBERG DOT COM

IMPOSTORS AT MARKWAHLBERG DOT COM

IMPOSTORS AT MARKWAHLBERG DOT COM

IMPOSTORS AT MARKWAHLBERG DOT COM

IMPOSTORS AT MARKWAHLBERG DOT COM

I’m sorry for shouting but this is probably the single most incredible email address I’ve ever seen. It’s been days and I’m not over it. It might be weeks before I even start getting over it. I don’t see how to even start. This is my problem, not yours, but mostly I’m hoping that typing it out a bunch like I did up there will help exorcise it from my bra-…

IMPOSTORS AT MARKWAHLBERG DOT COM

Welp. So much for that.

READER MAIL

If you have questions about television, movies, food, local news, weather, or whatever you want, shoot them to me on Twitter or at [email protected] (put “RUNDOWN” in the subject line). I am the first writer to ever answer reader mail in a column. Do not look up this last part.

From Lee:

I think about this Tiktok a lot and devote an unreasonable amount of mental energy trying to manifest it into reality. I enjoy it because it’s true to the character while showcasing what makes Matt Berry so enjoyable. Do you have an actor or actress that you think would shine doing voice acting that differs from their regular body of work, and what would you cast them as?

I hope you’ve been well, as always you are one of my favorite writers to read and you radiate good vibes. Haven’t been writing in because I’ve been too present, distracted by the moment. Sorry but thank you.

To be clear, I did not leave that last paragraph in there because of the compliment. I am not that insufferable. (I am insufferable, just not that insufferable.) I would have cut it out, I swear, but I left it in because it references one of the greatest tweets ever and I wanted an excuse to post it again.

Anyway, I have two answers here. One is Rosie Perez. I might have picked her before I heard her narrate a chapter of the Beastie Boys Book audiobook, but I am definitely saying it after hearing that. It’s amazing. I know I talk about it all the time but the reason I talk about it all the time is that it’s amazing. Go listen to it. Rosie Perez is the greatest.

The second answer is Lance Reddick. I want to hear him bring this kind of intensity and gravitas to pretty much anything.

There are others, probably. I bet I’ll think of a million of them right after this publishes. But these are a good start. Make a show where they play an animated husband and wife who steal priceless artwork. Listen to me.

AND NOW, THE NEWS

To Washington!

Firefighters rescued a woman who had tumbled into a Mt. Walker vault toilet while attempting to fish her lost cellphone out from the waste on Tuesday afternoon.

Look.

This happens.

You see it all the time.

Let’s not make a big deal out of it.

Brinnon Fire Department Chief Tim Manly said the woman, who was at the top of Mt. Walker, had been using her phone and had dropped it down into the vault. After she disassembled the toilet seat, she used dog leashes to try to retrieve the phone and eventually used the leashes to tie herself off as she reached for it, he said. That effort failed and she fell, horrifyingly, into the vault, headfirst.

This is yet another one of those situations where two things can be true at once. The first is that I feel awful for this woman. The second thing is that if you filmed this and put it into a Ben Stiller movie from the early 2000s, I might still be laughing today.

But I feel awful for her.

But still.

“They didn’t work very well and in she went,” Manly said.

Well said.

The woman was washed down and “was strongly encouraged to seek medical attention after being exposed to human waste, but she only wanted to leave,” the department said.

“She only wanted to leave.”

I mean… yeah.

Understandable.

There has been outrage in the United States in recent days following a leaked Supreme Court decision draft that indicates Roe v. Wade, the iconic 1973 Supreme Court decision that protected a woman’s right to have a safe and legal abortion nationwide, will be overturned. It’s not only Americans who are weighing in, though, as now Lorde has taken the time to share some of her thoughts on the situation.

While performing at Los Angeles’ Shrine Auditorium last night, Lorde said between songs, “Like so many of you, I’ve been sickened and heartbroken this week by the news that… that there are some people who think that our bodies are not our own. And I still don’t have the words to talk about this with you. It’s so big and so heavy. I think it’s OK to freeze for a little bit, you know, and then you re-engage. But, what I’m trying to say is I have some big, heavy sh*t that I am working through that I am feeling.”

She’s not the only artist who has spoken out about the situation, as others, like Olivia Rodrigo, Questlove, Halsey, and Phoebe Bridgers have also set aside a moment to share their thoughts on abortion rights.

Imagine if Twitter catered towards conservatives and was far less popular. You, my friends, have TRUTH Social, Donald Trump’s fledgling social media platform that the former-president’s sniffing son promised was “gonna be awesome,” but instead has turned into the “social media equivalent of a Radio Shack.” Even Trump, who has barely posted on the app, sounds like he’s ready to give up on the TRUTH Social experiment, based on an interview with Trump Media & Technology Group CEO Devin Nunes.

When asked by Fox News host Stuart Varney about the fate of TRUTH Social if Elon Musk “turn[s] Twitter around,” Nunes responded, “We’re all for it. President Trump basically, before Elon Musk bought it, actually said to go and buy it because the goal of our company is to build a community where people are in a family-friendly, safe environment. [It’s] very much different than Twitter, and that’s why we encouraged Elon Musk to buy it because someone has to take on tech tyrants.” He added:

“Donald Trump wanted to make sure the American people got their voice back… and that is what we are doing. People like Elon Musk doing what he’s doing. We are definitely in favor of it.”

Trump has stated that he has no interest in rejoining Twitter if Musk allows him to come back. But as the New York Post pointed out, Nunes’ insistence that the former-president is a fan of the social media competition would be easier to believe if “news of the buyout [hadn’t] tanked shares of Digital World Acquisition Corp, the company that owns TRUTH Social.” We’ll see how much Trump loves making sure the American people get their voice back when he starts losing money.

Coi Leray attempted to be the voice of reason this week in the midst of her father Benzino’s longstanding beef with Eminem. In a series of tweets, after Slim Shady was announced as an inductee into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame, the former co-owner of The Source questioned the decision and presented several names of Black artists he felt deserved to be admitted first. Benzino mentioned the likes of Nas, Eric B, Rakim, Kool Moe D, EPMD, Fearless Four, Fat Boyz, Lauren Hill, Lil Kim, and Outkast.

Leray took the high road, encouraging peace and moving on the situation through the quote, “Let’s build bridges and get over them before you burn the bridge and burn with it.” She also praised Eminem for his acting and rapping abilities, specifically his work in 8 Mile.

This isn’t the first time the Hackensack, New Jersey artist has publicly stood in opposition to her father, and in a follow-up to her original tweet, Coi said he needs to heal and let the past go. It has been a 19-year beef between Benzino and Eminem, starting with The Source‘s review of The Eminem Show and later becoming a full-on back and forth with diss tracks.

With Darth Vader set to return in the upcoming Obi-Wan Kenobi series for Disney+, an old interview with James Earl Jones has resurfaced where the actor opened up about his experience becoming the iconic voice of Dark Lord of the Sith. According to Jones, he was only paid $7,000 to voice Vader in the very first Star Wars movie, A New Hope. While that doesn’t sound like much today, it was nothing to sneeze at in the mid-1970s, and Jones was thrilled to make so much money for just doing voice work. (English actor and bodybuilder David Prowse was the man in the suit for the original trilogy.)

Via IndieWire:

“George wanted, pardon the expression, a dark voice,” Jones told AFI. “So he hires a guy born in Mississippi, raised in Michigan, who stutters. And that’s the voice. That’s me.”

As for the paycheck, Jones was all for his salary: “I lucked out, from all these so-called handicaps, for a job that paid $7,000! I thought that was good money. And I got to be a voice on a movie!”

Interestingly, Jones also revealed that he butted heads with George Lucas over Vader’s depiction in The Empire Strikes Back, which is often cited as the best Star Wars movie in the series. The actor wanted Vader to sound “more subtle” and “psychologically oriented,” but Lucas had a specific plan.

“He said, ‘We don’t know what we did right, so let’s just try what we did… What we’re finding out is you need to keep his voice on a very narrow band of inflection because he ain’t human, really,’” Jones said.

(Via IndieWire)

Surprise, surprise. Cobra Kai is switching up its usual release pattern of going with New Year’s weekend to drop new batches of badassery. Instead, Netflix is taking advantage of the super speed at which the show (as Hawk actor Jacob Bertrand informed us) shot and wrapped Season 5. And as revealed at a Thursday night edition of the Netflix Is A Joke festival, the warring dojos will return sooner than expected: September 9.

The Karate Kid reboot series also unveiled a teaser trailer, in which we see the aftermath of the franchise’s most dastardly villain, Terry Silver, as he makes good on his threat to open up a zillion Cobra Kai schools after the rather shocking results of the All Valley Tournament. It sure looks like Tory will have to reckon with the unintended results of Silver paying off a judge to make a biased call, and everyone is wondering where the hell Miguel went while it ain’t good for Kreese. In the meantime, Daniel and Johnny have shuttered their own dojos, but you know that won’t last for long because Chozen is on the scene, and as he tells Silver here, he is the “gasoline” to the villain’s “fire.”

Cobra Kai knows how to stoke that fire. Hell, this almost makes up for Netflix cancelling Santa Clarita Diet at a pivotal point for Timothy Olyphant’s character (never mind, I’m still salty about that). From the mini-synopsis:

Following the shocking results of the All Valley Tournament, Terry Silver is expanding the Cobra Kai empire and trying to make his “No Mercy” style of karate the only game in town. With Kreese behind bars and Johnny Lawrence setting karate aside to focus on repairing the damage he’s caused, Daniel LaRusso must call on an old friend for help.

Netflix’s Cobra Kai is currently streaming the first four seasons on Netflix.

Throughout their nearly two-decades-long career, Arcade Fire have put out a number of revered albums. But they’ve also shared a few lukewarm releases. In this week’s Indiecast, hosts Steven Hyden and Ian Cohen reflect on the band’s discography and decide whether or not Arcade Fire’s comeback album We hits the mark.

Along with reviewing Arcade Fire, Steven and Ian go over other big new in indie music this week. They discuss the relevancy of the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame, whose official inductees were announced this week including Dolly Parton and Judas Priest. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs also teased their return, prompting Indiecast to recall the band’s impactful career and their very terrible 2013 Mosquito album cover.

In this week’s Recommendation Corner, Ian talks about Hatchie’s album Stop Giving The World Away, which sounds like a crossover of Olivia Rodrigo and Turnover. Steven gives a shout-out to Sharon Van Etten’s great new album, We’ve Been Going About This All Wrong.

New episodes of Indiecast drop every Friday. Listen to Episode 87 on Spotify below, and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. You can submit questions for Steve and Ian at [email protected], and make sure to follow us on Instagram and Twitter for all the latest news. We also recently launched a visualizer for our favorite Indiecast moments. Check those out here.

There’s perhaps no popular musician today whose age is focused on more than Adele. That was her choice, though, as she has named all four of her albums so far (19, 21, 25, and 30) after how old she was when she made them. So, yesterday (May 5) was a big day for Adele, as she turned 34 years old and took time to reflect.

In an Instagram post, Adele shared a couple photos of herself and wrote about how good life is right now, saying, “What a difference a year makes! If time keeps healing and smoothing out all the creases in my life like it does as the years fly by, then I can’t wait to be 60! I’ve never been happier! So many lessons, so many blessings to be grateful for. This is 34, and I love it here! Thank you for the birthday love as always x.”

Adele certainly has a lot to be happy about. 2021’s 30 joined the rest of her albums in topping the charts in multiple countries around the world. It also yielded a chart-topping single with “Easy On Me.” On top of that, she’s in a relationship with Rich Paul and is planning on having a baby next year. So, all in all, it seems like a good time to be Adele.

(WARNING: Major spoilers for Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness to follow.)

If you’re reading this, you saw Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness on opening night (or are among the $27.2 million’s worth of people who saw it internationally). Or maybe you haven’t seen Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, and never will, but you want to know who was in the movie to keep up with pop culture discourse. I know you’re reading this, Marty. Either way, welcome. In this post, I have ranked the major cameos in the 28th film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, not including — one last spoiler alert — Billy and Tommy from WandaVision, Thanos’ corpse, Chiwetel Ejiofor as Mordo, Michael Stuhlbarg as Nicodemus West (I’m happy he got paid, though), and Tom Cruise, who, as expected, was nowhere to be seen. As for everyone else, read on…

7. Anson Mount as Blackagar Boltagon (Black Bolt)

There was a tweet going around earlier this week about all the Marvel movies and shows you needed (“needed”) to see before Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness came out. It read, ​​”Not gonna spoil anything, but make sure you watch the seventh episode of the season 6 of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D, the first episode of What If…?, the whole Loki series, Deadpool 2, the entire final season of X-Men: The Animated Series, and unbelievably Inhumans.” I, like everyone else, made fun of it — movies should not require homework. But in a way, the tweet proved to be at least partially correct: if you didn’t watch Inhumans, you might have no idea who Black Bolt is. To be fair, he died 10 minutes after being introduced, so it didn’t really matter, and no one should be forced to watch Inhumans. But justice for that guy’s tweet, I guess.

6. Lashana Lynch as Maria Rambeau (Captain Marvel)

Poor Maria Rambeau. On WandaVision, we learn that she died of cancer during the period of time between Avengers: Infinity War and Avengers: Endgame. In Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness, she (as Captain Marvel on Earth-838) again dies after getting crushed by a statue. Maria needs her own show or movie or podcast or whatever where she gets to kick ass and, most importantly, not die.

5. Charlize Theron as Clea

I’ll admit that I am unfamiliar with Clea, who Polygon helpfully explains is “Stephen Strange’s on-again-off-again wife and fellow adventurer — the closest thing he has to a regular love interest. Hailing from another dimension entirely, she’s also a sorcerer of great renown, and following Stephen’s recent death in the comics, she’s currently the Sorcerer Supreme.” But hey, Charlize Theron is in the MCU! That’s fun. Don’t hold your breath for a Clea / Venom scene, though.

4. John Krasinski as Reed Richards (Mister Fantastic)

Third time’s a charm. In 2005’s pre-MCU Fantastic Four, Reed Richards was played by Ioan Gruffudd, but after the dreadful sequel, 2007’s Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, made less money than the original (among other reasons), a planned third film was scrapped. In 2015, Fox tried again with 2015’s Fantastic Four, or FANT4STIC, but it was a colossal failure, and a miscast Miles Teller was one-and-done as Mister Fantastic. For years, there have been rumors that The Office star John Krasinski would be the next founding member of the Fantastic Four — and what do you know? All those mock-ups proved prophetic. It’s an inauspicious introduction for Krasinski, considering he gets annihilated and humiliated by Wanda, but it would be a major flex for Marvel Studios overlord Kevin Feige if he finally solves the Fantastic Four problem.

3. Patrick Stewart as Charles Xavier (Professor X)

Remember when Patrick Stewart cannily responded to rumors that he was in Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness by saying, “You know, people have been imitating my voice ever since I came on the stage 60 years ago. So, I can’t be held responsible for that.” It was a perfect response, because he wasn’t denying that he would reprise his role as the X-Men leader, but he wasn’t confirming it, either. Well, it turns out he is in the movie, but it’s a different Professor X than the one who last appeared in Logan. This Professor X is the Professor X from the much-beloved X-Men animated series, which ran from 1992 through 1997. That explains the sting from the show’s theme song that we hear when he appears on-screen, and why his hoverchair looks different than in previous movies. You’ll get your day in the sun eventually, Gambit, I swear.

2. Hayley Atwell as Peggy Carter (Captain Carter)

It’s always fun to see Hayley Atwell as Peggy Carter, who got one of the biggest pops from the audience at the theater I saw the movie in. In the Doctor Strange sequel, she appears in her What If…? form as Captain Carter, essentially the British version of Captain America. In this reality, she, not scrawny Steve Rogers, was the First Avenger, but not the first member of the Illuminati to die — she made it pretty far before Scarlet Witch sliced her in half using her Union Jack-emblazoned shield. God save the Captain.

1. Bruce Campbell as Pizza Poppa

Sam Raimi delights in making Bruce Campbell suffer. It’s pretty much the entire reason that the Evil Dead trilogy (including Evil Dead II, one of the greatest horror movies of all-time) exists. “I don’t know what’s entertaining about it, but it gives me a great deal of pleasure,” the Spider-Man director once explained about torturing his long-time buddy. “In this life, we’re supposed to respond to those things that give us bliss, and for me, this is that thing. So I find it to be a very healthy, productive, one-with-the universe-type thing to torment Bruce. And people love to watch his tormentation.” We sure do.

Raimi’s latest victim: Pizza Poppa. After America takes one of his pizza balls thinking they’re free, Doctor Strange casts a spell on the poor street vendor, who will spend the next three weeks continuously punching himself. It’s like a mystical version of “stop hitting yourself.” In the post-credits scene, the spell is broken, a relieved Pizza Poppa looks into the camera, and says, “It’s over!” It’s maybe the best scene in the movie.