AJ’s back in school, but as Fran points out, he doesn’t need a political science degree, he needs to smoke a little weed. The only thing liberal arts education can do for AJ is make him depressed. And boy is he depressed. He’s so depressed that not even Chamillionaire’s “Ridin’ Dirty” can convince him that life is worth living. He knows that The US sees the Middle East rolling, and they’re hating enough to bomb Iran. How can he live in a world that is so dicked up?
Despite Carmela’s attempts to cheer him up with Lincoln logs (which some internet research revealed to be a hot dog split open and slathered with cream cheese, similar to a Seattle-style street dog), AJ’s “Rube Goldberg suicide machine” is, of course, constructed incompetently enough to avoid a second episode in a row with a major character death. This is why AJ could never be a mob guy. How can he be expected to wack someone when he couldn’t even take out his own depressed self?
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What scared you as a kid? Was it Large Marge from Pee-wee’s Big Adventure? Or that creepy episode of Rugrats with “Big Boy”? Or maybe it was “The Green Ribbon”? If any of those apply to you, consider yourself lucky. You got off easy; your parents could have really messed you up if they had read you the new book, The Plot Against the King, a “fantastical retelling of [a] terrible true story” about “handsome King Donald.”
Over on his struggling social media platform TRUTH Social, Donald Trump reached out to followers about The Plot Against the King, written by Kash Patel. “The Plot Against the King is the true story about the Russia Collusion hoax, written for children, by my friend @Kash,” it reads. “Live the tale thru the eyes of great characters like the handsome King Donald and Kash the Wizard.” Referring to himself, I mean, King Donald as “handsome” is actually one of Trump’s more understated self-compliments.
The post continues, “This story showcases how Hillary Queenton and a Shifty Knight tried to destroy our democracy, but truth and the MAGA King prevailed. Support this great patriot, educate our children, and put a copy in every school across our land.”
Pulitzer Prize and Nobel Prize in Literature-winning novelist Toni Morrison? BANNED. But The Plot Against the King, where a monarch and a wizard fight a lightly fictionalized Hillary Clinton using MAGA magic (MAGA-ic)? That’s fine. Very normal stuff.
I love some good Scotch whisky. But let’s face it, there’s plenty of shit on the shelf intermixed with the good stuff — yes, even the bottles that make it all the way across the pond. That said, I’d argue that you’re more likely to grab a good scotch than a bad one these days, because so much of the lower-end stuff doesn’t make it stateside. Still, the fact is there’s a lot to sort through and no one wants to pony up for a dud.
To help you find gems, I’m grabbing ten (modern and old-school) classic Scotch whiskies from my shelf and putting them to a blind taste test. I’m keeping things classic but pretty high-end this go around. I’ve tasted nearly 500 individual whiskeys so far this year and I wasn’t in the mood to taste shitty whisky today. Instead, I grabbed some serious icons of the past few decades and, in some cases, the past century or two. I didn’t really think about price points. I mostly thought about “oh yeah, that’s a good old whisky, let’s see how it stands up against this one.” I ended up grabbing eight killer unpeated bottles and then I threw in a peated 21-year-old and a newer crafty unpeated single malt ringer for good measure because … why not?
The lineup today is:
Chivas 18
Balblair 15
Aberlour 16
Glenfiddich 21
Aberfeldy 18
Bruichladdich Bere Barley
Glenmorangie Nectar d’Or
Arran 18
GlenDronach 18
BenRiach The Twenty One
Let’s see which bottle wins!
Also Read: The Top 5 UPROXX Scotch Whisky Posts of The Last Six Months
This opens with a rush of berries — tart, sweet, dried — that leads to bright malts, mild dark spices, and a hint of toffee sweetness. Going back to the nose after the taste, there’s a very thin echo of dried flowers. On the palate, there’s a note of chocolate-covered raisins that gives way to dried rose petals, sweet malts, and a hint of shortbread with dashes of vanilla and lemon. The end is slightly thin but has plenty of that bright fruit to carry it through to a satisfying finish.
Taste 2
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
Honey and marzipan greet you as ginger-infused dark chocolate and lemon/honey malts round out the nose. The palate leans into the marzipan with a hint of heather and spiced malts working their way back to that dark chocolate. The end has a honey candy sweetness but drops off pretty abruptly.
Taste 3
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
A hint of oak char mingles with a box of dates, walnut shell, and a whisper of roses pressed into old books. A spiced plum jam drives the palate along with plenty of malty spice and sweet wood, kind of like an oak stave dipped in mulled wine. The finish leans into a honeyed sweetness with a hot and spicy apple cider vibe on the slow and silky finish.
Taste 4
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
This is very “perfume” driven on the nose with plenty of sticky toffee pudding — the dates, nutmeg, toffee, vanilla, everything — leading to a hint of cherry bark and old leather. The palate has a thin line of cream soda with more of that floral perfume, woody cinnamon-apple, and a bit of sultana and prunes. The finish leans into the florals and honey as a waft of freshly baked banana bread floats past and the creaminess amps up towards a kind of a Key lime pie vibe.
Taste 5
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
This opens with a lush and creamy honey, cream soda, dried red berries packed into a cedar box, and a touch of marzipan. Fresh berries and cream drive the palate as a slightly dry grassy nature hits the mid-palate with dry cedar and some rum-soaked raisins. The finish has a bit of a dried apricot vibe that leads back to that lush honey with more dried sweetgrass and marzipan rounding things out.
Taste 6
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
It takes a moment but the nose eventually reveals sweet orange blossoms next to marzipan, mulled wine, apricot jam, and a thin whisper of mint chocolate chip ice cream. The palate leans into the apricot and jam and mint chocolate with a note of chocolate-covered raisins leading to a whisper of dried banana chips and Irish soda bread. The finish adds a flake of sea salt to everything as spiced malts and minty yet creamy chocolate last the longest on the end.
Taste 7
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
Vanilla and lemon oils combine on the nose for a classic shortbread feel that counters soft malts and a hint of milk chocolate powder. The palate is all about the creamy and buttery toffee sauce with wintry spices mingling with silky vanilla pudding and plenty of dried red fruits. The finish has a slight edge of spice attached to the malts — think mild nutmeg and cinnamon — that gives way to a creamy and shortbread-filled finish.
Taste 8
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
Blueberry pancakes smothered in butter and maple syrup lead the way and is supported by apple cider and cinnamon sticks. Overripe peaches and orange zest pop on the palate with a hint of dark yet creamy chocolate. The mid-palate sweetness fades into a mulled-wine-soaked oak stave with stewed peaches next to slightly spiced dark chocolate bars.
Taste 9
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
This is very grassy from the jump with a mix of dates, blackberry jam, and burnt orange peels rounding out the nose. The jam arrives on the tongue as stewed plums with allspice and clove mix with almond cake dusted with powdered sugar leads to chocolate malts. That nuttiness drives the finish toward more of those silky chocolate malts, freshly chopped apple and cherry wood, and a mix of dark berries, almonds, and spice layered into a bespoke dark chocolate bar on the very back end.
Taste 10
Zach Johnston
Tasting Notes:
This bursts with fresh Band-Aids from afar — hello, Benriach The Twenty One!
Those fresh and plasticky bandages are supported by cream soda, a hint of rum-raisin, slight nuttiness, and a dash of old potpourri. The palate carries on through the drug store with that Band-Aid vibe as creamy vanilla and soft chocolate malts interact with spicy minced meat pies, walnut coffee cake, and a hint of floral candle wax. The finish drops off pretty quickly, leaving you with old Band-Aids, burnt vanilla pods, and a touch more of that cream soda.
This is a classic Highland single malt with a modern twist. These bottles were just relaunched in 2019 with age statements. Their 15-year was aged in both ex-bourbon and ex-sherry before marrying, proofing, and bottling in nice, squat bottles.
Bottom Line:
This had serious potential until the finish. It just sort of disappeared at the end. For me, that makes this a good place to start the ranking. That said, this whiskey is still a good cocktail base to build upon.
Rum casks and sweet single malts are a great match. This whisky starts off by mellowing for 21 years in ex-bourbon casks before that juice is transferred to Caribbean rum barrels for a final rest. That whisky is then blended and proofed down for bottling.
Bottom Line:
Huh… I expected this to be much higher. But that perfume-driven nose was a lot today. It’s not that it didn’t land, it was just a little too dailed up and overwhelmed the incredible nuance of the rest of the sip, which is pretty damn fine.
This is classic, old-school whisky making from the Isle of Arran (right next to Islay). The juice is aged in a mix of sherry casks for 18 years before it’s vatted, proofed, and bottled without filtration or any other fussing.
Bottom Line:
This was on track for a high ranking. Then it just sort of petered out on the back end and I forgot about it a bit. It goes to show: Always finish strong.
This dram from Glenmorangie is a much-loved Highland malt. The juice is matured in ex-bourbon barrels for an undisclosed number of years. The whisky is then transferred to French Sauternes barrels which held sweet dessert wines where it spends two more years finishing.
Bottom Line:
I kind of expected this to rank higher too but here we are. Again though, this was a perfectly nice dram. It just didn’t quite grab my attention. And once I moved on, there were just more exciting sips to be had.
These expressions from Bruichladdich have been dropping for over a decade, so this is more of a modern classic. Anyway, the whisky in the bottle is hewn from Bere Barley grown up on the Orkney Islands by five different farmers. That grain is sent to Islay where the team at Bruichladdich creates this one-of-a-kind whisky.
Bottom Line:
I enjoyed this. It was a tad thinner than some of the other bottles ranked next on this list but still very well-made and interesting. This is definitely something I like coming back to.
Chivas 18 is the brand’s signature high-end blend. The whisky is built around a specially made Strathisla 18 single malt. That juice is supported by 20 other single malts from around Scotland with various casking processes, but those are kept under wraps.
Bottom Line:
The mid-point of these always feels like a bifurcation point. But this is more like, “Yep, this is pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty good.” In the end, this feels like the perfect on the rocks pour.
This whisky from BenRiach is a combination of peated and unpeated malts. The whiskies are then aged for 21 years in ex-bourbon barrels, ex-sherry casks, virgin oak casks, and former Bordeaux red wine casks. Those are then blended after their two-decade rest and proofed with that soft Speyside water.
Bottom Line:
I expected the only peaty on the list to rank lower. But this really brought the magic. Yes, it was medicinal but there was so much more layered into it that stood out and lasted.
This small Speyside distillery has been producing quality whisky for over 200 years. This expression is aged 16 years in both ex-bourbon and ex-Olorosso sherry casks. It’s then married and proofed with soft Speyside water from the Highlands and bottled.
Bottom Line:
This is some good goddamn whisky. Look, this and the next two all could have been tied for number one. If I pick them apart this didn’t have quite the uniqueness of the next two … but that’s me splitting some seriously microscopic hairs.
This Highland whisky is a local tradition of sorts, dating back to the brand’s origins in the 1820s. The whisky in the bottles is hewn from barrels of at least 18-year-old whiskies. The maturation is done exclusively in hand-picked Olorosso sherry casks from Spain.
Bottom Line:
That grassy nose was a beautiful break from the other drams on this list. It was bold and intriguing. And then the rest of the sip lived up to those attributes and delivered a fun yet deeply flavored whisky that felt like a journey.
This release is a masterclass in finishing a whisky. The whisky is first aged for 18 years in refill bourbon and sherry casks. Then the whisky is transferred to first-fill red wine casks from Pauillac, Bordeaux. The whisky is then proofed with the soft water from a local, gold-flecked river to a very accessible 86 proof.
Bottom Line:
Yeah, this was beautiful. It’s nuanced, unique, and so easy to drink. I wanted to pour another of these and actually drink/enjoy it. Immediately.And that’s always a good sign.
Part 3: Final Thoughts
Zach Johnston
That Aberfeldy 18 has some serious staying power. So do the GlenDronach and Aberlour, by the way. I’ll say it again, all three were pretty much tied for first, and I had to split some serious hairs to rank them.
What surprised me the most about this ranking was where some bigger hitters ended up. I was pretty surprised to see the Glenfiddich 21 fall so low today. Likewise with the Nectar d’Or — both of those are bottles I’d reach for without hesitation when I know the label. But that just goes to show the power of the blind taste test!
Eric Andre returns to terrorize more unsuspecting guests in the sixth season of his Adult Swim talk show The Eric Andre Show. For those unfamiliar, the show revolves around a late-night talk format that goes left almost as soon as the guests set foot on the stage. Think of a prank show like the Impractical Jokers breaking out in the middle of an episode of Seth Myers, only it’s Seth doing the pranks, and they range from absurdist shenanigans to set-destroying mayhem.
Naturally, you’ve got to have guests who bring a certain amount of chaotic energy themselves (or play everything straight to offset Andre’s antics), and the season six trailer has plenty of those. Blac Chyna, Cypress Hill, Diplo, Jaleel White, Jon Hamm, Lil Yachty, Meagan Good, Natasha Lyonne, Rico Nasty, and Tinashe are all billed in the press release, along with “a host of other celebrities so big we legally can’t use them in promotions.”
Even Andre himself was dumbfounded by the roster of people who apparently either haven’t watched the show before or are game to put up with his provocations to promote their new projects. “Expect more deranged pranks, fire, and chaos in Season 666 with a jam-packed schedule of celebrities I can’t believe agreed to this,” he joked.
Fresh off the success of Borat: Subsequent Moviefilm, Sacha Baron Cohen is teaming up with Mike Judge and Greg Daniels, the creative duo behind the Fox hit King of the Hill. The trio have locked down a new animated special titled, Chelm: The Smartest Place on Earth, which will reportedly be an all-ages affair. (Read: Don’t expect to see Rudy Giuliani allegedly sticking his hands down his pants or Beavis and Butthead being, well, Beavis and Butthead.)
Geared toward younger audiences and set to air on both Cartoon Network and its streaming sibling HBO Max, the special is being written by Nathan For You co-creator Michael Koman and shares the absurdist humor and interpretive questioning that is a nod to Jewish intellectual traditions. The project is set in the mythical “Town of Fools” and originally told in Yiddish. Baron Cohen, who narrates, will present a fresh take on the silly antics and exaggerated conflicts of the town, while also preserving the essence and heart of the classic folktales.
The Chelm announcement arrives on the heels of Cohen dismissing his lawsuit against a cannabis company for using an unauthorized image of Borat on a billboard. According to CBS Boston, Cohen filed paperwork to drop the suit on Tuesday after reaching an agreement with the cannabis company. There was no mention of a settlement, and legal teams for both parties did not comment on the dismissal.
After announcing their “Melt Away: A Tribute To Brian Wilson” tour last month, She & Him left anticipation high for new non-holiday music. This week, the duo, comprised of Zooey Deschanel and M. Ward, have announced a new album, Melt Away: A Tribute To Brian Wilson, which will arrive in July.
The album will consist of 14 different covers of songs by Wilson and The Beach Boys.
“In the spring of 2020, we started a list of our favorite Brian songs — a very long list,” said She & Him in a statement. “We chose songs without any regard to their chart performance. The obscure ones hit us just as hard as the more popular songs — and all are ripe for re-imagining, re-interpreting, and re-inventing. Brian writes songs of beauty and loneliness and vulnerability better than anyone — and by sequencing them next to popular songs of confidence and love and fun, it creates a more complete picture of life on earth.”
Ahead of the album, She & Him shared their cover over The Beach Boys’ “Darlin,” which is accompanied by a QVC-inspired music video directed by Lara Jean Gallagher.
Check out “Darlin’” above and the album’s cover art and tracklist below.
Courtesy of Fantasy Records
1. “Darlin’”
2. “Wouldn’t It Be Nice”
3. “Til I Die”
4. “Deirdre”
5. “Melt Away”
6. “Good To My Baby”
7. “Don’t Talk (Put Your Head On My Shoulder)”
8. “Don’t Worry Baby”
9. “This Whole World”
10. “Kiss Me, Baby”
11. “Do It Again” Feat. Brian Wilson
12. “Heads You Win, Tails I Lose”
13. “Please Let Me Wonder”
14. “Meant For You”
Melt Away: A Tribute To Brian Wilson is out 7/22 via Fantasy Records. Pre-save it here.
The trailer for the long-awaited documentary, Look At Me: XXXTentacion, has arrived. First announced in 2019, the documentary will finally land on Hulu on May 26, moving the date up by several weeks. The documentary promises to delve into not just the late rapper’s meteoric rise to fame but also the fallout from his abuse of ex-girlfriend Geneva Ayala. In the trailer, those who knew him best — his mother, his manager, and his friends — weigh in on the elements of his personality that made him both charismatic and self-destructive.
XXXTentacion’s death at 20 years of age in 2018 left behind a complicated legacy. Obviously, lots of people loved his music and felt as though he spoke for them. Equally as obviously, he’d done plenty of harm in even the short time that he had, from a homophobic attack on a cellmate to the horrific abuse he inflicted on Ayala. The polarizing rapper was never held to account for that abuse, with his case getting closed as a result of his death. That leaves some pretty heavy questions hanging over his name and image — questions that many will look to this documentary to resolve. While they may not find the answers they want, there’s little question that they’ll be tuning in.
Emmy Rossum played Fiona Gallagher for nine seasons of Showtimes’s U.S. version of Shameless. That’s a long damn time and (unless we’re talking about daytime soaps), that’s rare job security for an actor, but at the same time, she also pretends to be other people for a living. And when one turns on that switch to be the same character for nearly a decade, you can see why they’d feel stifled (similar to what Elizabeth Olsen recently said about the MCU) and long to push toward the other end of the spectrum when granted the opportunity to do so. I’m not actually saying (because I don’t really know) that Rossum felt that way, but she sure suggests as much by veering into a completely different universe with the Angelyne limited series on Peacock.
Essentially, Emmy’s reinventing herself as an actress while portraying a character who reinvented herself. It’s kind-of circular, but sometimes reinvention can work our marvelously. Look at Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, finally both free of Twilight, long after five movies and intense fandom and many years of aftermath. Now, he’s Batman, and she earned an Oscar nomination for her Princess Di performance. That all took awhile to happen, so one cannot expect to shake the Fiona off right away.
The end result of Emmy’s own departure is, well, not a home run. On one hand, she clearly had a fantastic time with this role. She really did that thing, you know, the “unrecognizable” thing with huge wigs, outlandish makeup, contact lenses, and a three pound breastplate. She’s also admitted to being obsessed with the Los Angeles billboard queen of the 1980s, and this show clearly wants to say something about why Ronia Tamar Goldberg, who went by a number of other aliases, ended up concocting the Angelyne identity. Yet, for most of this show’s runtime, I couldn’t figure out why the The Hollywood Reporter2017 piece about unmasking Angelyne’s true identity needed to go further than the printed page. Onscreen, the story (which is obviously dramatized beyond the THR rendition) meanders for most of the series, seemingly without purpose. It’s simply not as interesting as it should be to compel in a bloated TV landscape.
Peacock
Ultimately, this limited series is too self-indulgent and drags the central gimmick out far too long. Perhaps the project would have made a decent feature film, but as it stands the story’s too loosey goosey and aimless for a handful of installments. Then the final part aims to say something surprisingly deep and borderline profound, but by then, viewers might have already left the building after the aggressively immersive experience, all of which is novel at first, but it fades fast, despite all the colorful, Pepto-pink pops that persist. And I’m wondering whether Angelyne, a story that’s rooted in exploring identity and the nature of fame, is actually Emmy’s roundabout way of exploring her own identity.
In other words, I’m reading this as a trial run in the next phase of Emmy’s career. As a whole, the project spans a handful of episodes and comes to a definitive ending. The issue, however, is the mystery of Angelyne’s mystique arrives without substance or humor to balance out the cotton-candy confections and wigs and boobs and short skirts and Emmy gasping “Oooh!” at discrete intervals, for several episodes with a heavy mockumentary vibe and very little actual action. That’s especially the case since we’ve watched several Angelyne real-life followups (Paris Hilton, Kim Kardashian, and so on), and our culture’s so saturated with Instagram influencers that it quickly grows old to watch Angelyne drive around in a pink corvette and push around her dude hanger-ons.
The series also aims to take a pointed look at celebrity how we view ourselves vs. how other people view us, and I’m not sure that it convinces itself of the points that it’s trying to make. And if we really need the overriding offense here, it’s that Hamish Linklater (of Netflix’s Midnight Mass and many other selections where he’s unsettled the bejesus out of people) generally spends his career either skeeving people out or intimidating them. There’s a little bit of understated coolness to Hamish, too, but here, my god, he’s the opposite of cool and is reduced to being walked all over. I’m appalled in one sense but also impressed that the hair, makeup, and wardrobe team were so committed to stripping away all of that charisma. It’s an astounding feat to do this to him.
Peacock
Beyond that abomination, the supporting cast of characters includes a ton of men that end up doing her bidding for no reason at all. Lukas Gage, Alex Karpovsky, and Martin Freeman are among those actors playing thankless supporting roles (both for this show and to bask in Angelyne’s appearance at the top of the billboards). It’s an attempt to showcase a woman who (if one goes back to a 1987 interview) wasn’t as effusive and vivacious as Rossum portrays her but was one of the first to be “famous for nothing.” At this point, we’ve seen too much faux reality to find Angelyne, as a character, fascinating.
There’s no real game here (and no big scam, either), other than attention grabbing and waving around the crystal-and-UFO imagery and the whole living Barbie doll homage-routine. Again, there’s a sort-of point at the end of the series, if you can make it that long. Otherwise, this show will be a stepping stone, one that helps Emmy finally shake off the Fiona Gallagher scent before moving onto the next phase of her career, one that I’ll be looking forward to watching. Emmy Rossum rules, but Angelyne is a filler of space, and sound-and-bubbliness-signifying nothing, like staring at a billboard for five hours.
Despite Elon Musk sending even stronger signals that he will not purchase Twitter, backing out of the deal with the social media company will not be that easy. While there’s been considerable talk about the $1 billion “breakup fee” that Musk would have to pay for nuking the deal, analysts have said that Twitter has a compelling legal standing to force Musk to complete the purchase. According to a new statement from the Twitter board, that appears to be the next step.
Hours after Musk tweeted that the “deal cannot move forward” after claiming Twitter misrepresented its bot problem, the board issued a stern statement that it wants to close the deal “as promptly as practicable.” Via CNN:
The board, in other words, wants to rid itself of Twitter. I obtained a new statement from the board Tuesday night that read, “The Board and Mr. Musk agreed to a transaction at $54.20 per share. We believe this agreement is in the best interest of all shareholders. We intend to close the transaction and enforce the merger agreement.” Key words: “Enforce the merger agreement.” Legal action seems likely.
As CNN’s Brian Stetler writes, there is still a chance that Musk could pay to make the deal go away, which would leave the Twitter board scrambling to find another buyer. One “white knight” savior could be Microsoft, according to TechDirt.
In the meantime, Stetler’s column wants to make it clear that Musk’s claims about bots aren’t fooling anybody. The CNN reporter notes a recent article from Bloomberg that flat-out says Musk is “lying.” The Tesla CEO apparently cited bots as his reason for purchasing the company in the first place, and now, he’s surprised that they exist? C’mon.
It’s been a big year for Taylor Swift at New York University (NYU): First the college started offering a course about her, then in March, they announced they’d be awarding Swift an honorary doctorate of fine arts. Swift, who didn’t go to college since she was instead spent those years of her life becoming a global megastar, is pretty excited about the whole thing, as indicated by a video she shared this morning.
In the Instagram Reel, set to Beabadoobee’s recent single “See You Soon,” Swift rides in a car, looking out the window. Subsequent shots show her getting ready, donning her cap and gown, and having her father take a photo of her in her get-up. The closing shot is similar to the opening one, except this time, Swift is smiling in her graduation outfit. The post is captioned, “Wearing a cap and gown for the very first time – see you soon NYU.”
In addition to receiving the honorary doctorate, Swift is also set to deliver a speech at today’s commencement ceremony, at approximately 11 a.m. ET. The commencement is being livestreamed here.
Beabadoobee, by the way, was thrilled with Swift using her song in the video. On her Instagram Story, she shared the video and wrote, “taylor and see you soon I’m crying [heart emoji].” In a follow-up video, she said, “This… is possibly the best day of my life. Taylor Swift listens to ‘See You Soon.’ This is the best day…”
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