There is only one more episode left of the Disney+ series Obi-Wan Kenobi. If you’re feeling a bit bittersweet about saying goodbye to Ewan McGregor and Hayden Christensen again, don’t worry, if you know anything about Disney, you can bet that this is almost certainly not the last you’re going to see of Obi-Wan and Darth. It just might not be in the form you want it to be.
Star Wars, let’s be honest, is for kids. Great art transcends demographic, but at its core Star Wars’ target audience has always been children (George Lucas said so himself, on multiple occasions). Naturally, Disney thought to throw promotion for Obi-Wan onto a thing that is also primarily for children: sugary breakfast cereal. Frosted Flakes to be exact.
The Star Wars Obi-Wan Kenobi Frosted Flakes, featuring a “light side” of original Frosted Flakes flakes and a “dark side” of chocolate flakes, won’t hit stores nationwide until July. But we acquired a box ahead of time, to see if this stuff makes it worth explaining to everyone who comes to your house why you have five boxes of cereal with Tony the Tiger in Jedi and Sith cosplay. Or if it’s more like (lord forgive me) the Disney+ Obi-Wan Kenobi series itself, which is to say, just fine. If you hit Walmart you might be able to pick up a box early, but it won’t contain the two flavors, instead it’ll be a single flavor chosen at random and will forever seal your fate as being light side or dark side.
Let’s eat!
Obi-Wan Kenobi Frosted Flakes
Before we get into the cereal, we have to talk about the presentation. Kellogg’s nailed it. The box features Tony the Tiger with a dual-color blue and red lightsaber dividing his face (frustratingly not an option at Disney Land’s build your own lightsaber exhibit). On the blue side, you’ve got Tony in a Jedi hood, on the red side, Tony rocking a Vader helmet. As a nerd, consider me sold.
Allow me this tangent: this simply wouldn’t work with any other cereal mascot aside from Tony. If you did this box art with Lucky the Leprechaun, it would say Ron Weasley before Obi-Wan Kenobi. You can’t do Trix, those ears are never going to work with the hood and helmet, and that weird Honeycomb creature? He’d never be able to pull it off. Fred Flintstone? Cavemen don’t do space. That bee from Honey Nut Cheerios? ‘Fuck outta here.
Tony’s got the right face for this box, the only other cereal mascot this would work with is Captain Crunch because of his strange likeness to Alec Guinness. Just try to unsee that now that I’ve planted it in your head. Every time I see a box of Captain Crunch I hear Alec saying, “this is not the cereal you’re looking for.”
Okay, if you’re wondering why I’ve gone on for three paragraphs now about some random shit that isn’t cereal in an article that serves as a cereal review it’s because. I’m. Stalling. This is cereal we’re talking about, how much is there to actually say?
The Obi-Wan Kenobi Frosted Flakes are a simple half-and-half combination of OG Frosted Flakes and Chocolate Frosted Flakes, two cereal flavors that have been on shelves for longer than you’ve been alive. I poured some whole milk over a bowl and here is the verdict: It’s good.
I decided to document tasting notes in three stages, since the flavor of cereal starts to change once it soaks up the milk. My thoughts:
- Right after pouring the milk: All it takes is a splash of milk to bring these crunchy corn flakes to life. Sweet and sugar notes dominate with the slightest hint of cocoa floating on the top end. The chocolate Frosted Flakes have a really hard time jumping out when they’re still crunchy. The flavor of OG Frosted Flavors definitely dominates here.
- After sitting in milk for two minutes: Everything changes once the cereal sits a bit. The spoonfuls I ate after two minutes of soakage brought the cocoa flavors to the forefront, dominating the overall flavor but not overwhelmingly so.
- After five minutes: Virtually inedible. I’m not a soggy cereal guy, once these flakes get too engorged with milk they lose their crunchiness and the whole thing ends up tasting like soggy cocoa-flavored gruel. Not at all pleasant. Eat your bowl fast if you want to enjoy it.
The Botton Line:
Kellogg’s Obi-Wan Kenobi Frosted Flakes are the most palatable way to enjoy chocolate-flavored cereal. Maybe you ride or die for Cocoa Puffs and Cocoa Pebbles, but if you’ve found those cereals to be overwhelmingly chocolatey to the point of being inedible, this is a great way to have your cake and eat it too. I like chocolate as much as the next person, but chocolate milk soup? No thanks.
This Obi-Wan Kenobi light side/dark side cereal offers a nice spin on sweetened corn flakes with subtle chocolate notes that make it taste like something special.
Grab a box of Obi-Wan Kenobi Frosted Flakes when they hit grocery store shelves nationwide sometime in July.