Lauren Boebert’s Awkward Attempt To Make A Joke About Allegations That She’s Ted Cruz’s Former Escort Inspired More Cringe Than Laughter

A few months ago, a rumor emerged that sparked a sudden need for mind bleach. The American Muckrakers PAC, the same group that crushed Madison Cawthorn’s reelection campaign in North Carolina, had vowed to also unseat Lauren Boebert in Colorado. They released a trickle of reports that appeared to check out, including word of an existing fraud investigation into Boebert’s very obviously absurd campaign write-offs. The PAC then floated allegations that Boebert previously worked as a paid escort who’d had two abortions. Not only that, but they claimed (without proof) that Ted Cruz was somehow involved, which is almost too much to consider. (Have mercy!)

Boebert seemed to deny all of these claims, although it must be noted that she only did so while cryptically tweeting “Fact Check: Not true” without mentioning what she was discussing, although it seems obvious what she’s thinking about here. She also added, “Y’all need Jesus!”

The Rifle Republican also signaled that she was prepared to get litigious while calling these claims “totally false,” but she’s comfortable enough to at least joke about these rumors. While taking the stage this weekend at Turning Point USA’s Student Action Summit, Boebert cringingly joked, “Contrary to popular belief, I have never been as escort for Senator Ted Cruz.” She added, “But I will tell you tonight that is the coolest thing that I’ve ever heard about Ted Cruz.”

It must be noted that Boebert was talking around those general rumors involving allegations that she did escort-like work. There’s no blanket denial there, only a refutation of Ted being a client. And that PAC ad never actually claimed that Ted was a client but did claim that she was an escort when she met Ted. Maybe those details seem nitpicky to Boebert, but mostly, she wants everyone to know that she was not an escort for Ted. Point taken (and understood).

Also, the circumstances of Boebert’s entrance were nothing short of WWE-grade showmanship.

Ted also took the stage at this summit, where he urged his party to not be “like a lite-beer version of the Democrats!” Here’s Ted back in January, though, calling out Boebert as “[m]y friend.” So, there you have it.