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Britney Spears Remembers A ‘SWAT Team’ And ‘Three Helicopters’ Kicking Off Her ‘Premeditated’ Conservatorship

Last night (August 28) was all about the 2022 MTV VMAs, but shortly before the ceremony began, Britney Spears made some noise by sharing a 22-minute audio recording (which has since been made private) in which she dives deep into her conservatorship. Among the noteworthy breakouts from the clip is Spears describing the hectic scene that kicked of her conservatorship in 2008.

Spears explained (as Billboard notes):

“There was a SWAT team in my home, three helicopters. I remember my mom’s best friend, and my two girlfriends, we had a sleepover the night before. They held me down on a gurney. Again, none of it made sense. Literally the extent of my ‘madness’ was playing chase with paparazzi, which is still to this day one of the most fun things I ever did about being famous. I don’t know what was so harmful about that. I remember my mom was sitting on the couch, and she said, ‘We heard people are coming here today to talk to you. We should probably go to a hotel or something.’ I never really understood what she meant. I didn’t believe her. Like, is a lawyer coming here? Who is coming here? Four hours later, there were over 200 paparazzi outside my house video-taping me through a window of an ambulance, holding me down on a gurney.

I know now it was all premeditated. A woman introduced the idea [of a conservatorship] to my dad, and my mom actually helped him follow through and made it all happen. It was all basically set up. There was no drugs in my system, no alcohol, nothing. It was pure abuse. And I haven’t even really shared half of it.”

Read more about the video here.

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Why Does A Weirwood Tree Appear In ‘House Of The Dragon’?

House of the Dragon pulled off a streaming miracle on debut night while crashing servers at HBO Max, and there are already plenty of Defenders and Contenders for the throne. That fight will undoubtedly play out for multiple season, but in the meantime, there will be plenty of Game of Thrones callbacks. A few very pointed moments got things rolling in that direction, but the premiere episode also contained a quieter reference to the Westeros we’ve known before (or rather, after in the chronology) in the form of a Weirwood tree ^^^ at King’s Landing.

Hmm, that’s an unexpected but curious development. While Rhaenyra Targaryen and Alicent Hightower chattered together, that tree — with its distinctive carvings and bright red leaves — stood out in the background like an Old God’s thumb. As the George R.R. Martin-written lore dictates, those Weirwood trees were considered sacred to those who worshipped those gods, and the Children of the Forest are said to have carved faces into these trees. All of that is good and well, but the odd thing about this particular tree is that we never saw any Weirwood trees at King’s Landing during the events of Game of Thrones. And since the prequel takes place about 170 years before the flagship series, what gives?

As any Westeros devotee knows, the Weirwood trees carry plenty of significance, and there’s no way that this tree simply appeared as an unintentional detail like that Starbucks cup. The tree’s existence at King’s Landing was clearly deliberate and, given that it appears in the premiere episode, this could be a signal that it carries plenty of thematic heft for the seasons to come. It’s worth noting that the Weirwood tree at Winterfell was a place that coincided with Bran Stark’s greenseer visions. He could see the future and the past in conjunction with that tree, and as we already know, Bran ended up on the Iron Throne in the end, so that adds another layer.

Game of Thrones Weirwood Tree
HBO

Does this tree tell us that Rhaenyra does, in fact, end up on the Iron Throne (like Bran) in lockstep with her father’s declaration that she is the royal Targaryen heir? Perhaps. The tree’s presence might also clue us into a devastating event that leads the tree to no longer stand, long after it survived the Andal invasion that occurred thousands of years prior to (and after thousands of years of peace between the Children of the Forest and the First Men) the events of this HBO franchise. The timeline is a bit whack, I realize, but certainly, we’ll see some battles go down at King’s Landing as this show wears forth. I can only hope that these battles will be a lot more visible (to the streaming audience) than the famed “Battle of Winterfell.”

Then there’s the foreshadowing that occurred in House of the Dragon‘s exposition from King Viserys I, who told Princess Rhaenyra about the winter to come. The tree also evokes memories of the Night King’s Weirwood tree connections. He first underwent his transformation after being tied to one of the trees, and during the Battle of Winterfell, Arya Stark killed him with Valyrian steel (gifted to her by Bran) in nearly the same way he was “born” (by stabbing him right through the heart, although it initially occurred by way of dragonglass) in front of a Weirwood tree.

At the beginning of House of the Dragon, Prince Daemon gifts Rhaenyra with a Valyrian steel piece of jewelry. This may or may not have anything to do with the Weirwood tree reference, but it might not not have something to do with it. Regardless, it will be a joy to see how all of this connects as this event TV continues.

HBO’s ‘House of the Dragon’ airs on Sunday nights at 9:00pm EST.

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Taylor Swift Details Her Upcoming Album ‘Midnights’ After Surprise-Announcing It At The 2022 MTV VMAs

Through and through, Taylor Swift was the biggest surprise of last night’s MTV Video Music Awards. First, she just showed up to the show, making a surprise appearance. Then, while accepting the evening’s last award (for Video Of The Year), she ended her speech by saying, “I had sort of made up my mind that it might be a fun moment to tell you… my brand new album comes out October 21st. And I will tell you more at midnight.”

That was also the info she offered at that moment, but as she indicated, she quickly took to social media to reveal more.

The album is called Midnights and Swift shared the cover art for it. It features a photo of Swift looking at a lighter she’s holding, and next to that is a perhaps-temporary tracklist, as it notes 13 songs labeled “Track One,” “Track Two,” etc. (although it is possible those will be the actual song titles and not just placeholder names).

She also explained the nature of the LP, writing:

“We lie awake in love and in fear, in turmoil and in tears. We stare at walls and drink until they speak back. We twist in our self-made cages and pray that we aren’t — right this minute — about to make some fateful life-altering mistake.

This is a collection of music written in the middle of the night, a journey through terrors and sweet dreams. The floors we pace and the demons we face. For all of us who have tossed and turned and decided to keep the lanterns lit and go searching — hoping that just maybe, when the clock strikes twelve … We’ll meet ourselves.

Midnights, the stories of 13 sleepless nights scattered throughout my life, will be out October 21. Meet me at midnight.”

Find Swift’s post below.

Midnights is out 10/21 via Republic. Pre-order it here.

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What’s Popular On Streaming Now

Multiple times per week, our TV and film experts will list the most important ten streaming selections for you to pop into your queues. We’re not strictly operating upon reviews or accrued streaming clicks (although yes, we’ve scoured the streaming site charts) but, instead, upon those selections that are really worth noticing amid the churning sea of content. There’s a lot out there, after all, and your time is valuable.

Tie: 10. Harley Quinn (HBO Max series)

This show started out as a sleeper and turned into an animated comic book series that even non-comic book lovers enjoy. It’s raucous and witty and as inappropriate as one would expect, and hopefully, the Warner Bros. Discovery rollout won’t mean that Harley, Ivy, King Shark, and the rest of the henchmen won’t be heading into the Gotham sunset. After all, we do need some DC energy that isn’t gritty and full of gloom, and this show delivers a Batman who’s neither of those things either.

Tie: 10. See (Apple TV+ series)

Jason Momoa got the hell beat out of him last season by Dave Bautista, but the good news is this: Baba Voss survived and is back to give us a third and final season of Warrior Momoa In Fur Coats. His Warrior Hunkiness somehow exists (for the audience, apparently) in a world where barely anyone can behold how he looks. However, nature is healing, and babies are now beginning to see again, so maybe someone will gasp in recognition, just for fun? Take it away, Masturbating Queen.

9. Prey (Hulu movie)

The central female Comanche warrior is doing the thing here. Not only is she defending her tribe against an enormously hostile and murderous alien creature, but she’s also hoping to stop the invading powers that be from colonizing her people. That subtle political bent does not take a darn thing away from the entertainment value of this film. Rather, we receive a down and dirty franchise installment that showcases a female protagonist who’s not only tough as hell physically but smart as heck.

8 Elvis (Warner Bros. film on Amazon and other PVOD outlets)

Get all shook up with this biopic direct by Baz Lurhmann and starring Austin Butler. Tom Hanks (Hanx!) is (for once) not the best part of this movie, which follows the short life of Elvis Presley and the legendary career vibes that followed. The film is chaotic and a Luhrmann production, through and through, and Butler should earn some awards for his transformative ways and really going there to show of all facets of the King.

7. She-Hulk (Disney+ series)

This series is already telling us so much about the rest of the MCU, and Orphan Black‘s Tatiana Maslany Hulks out like a pro. Yes, there’s a lot of CGI, but it’s actually pretty good, and this show does a nice job of tying together some loose threads of the currently uneven MCU. There’s nothing uneven about that Steve Rogers reference, and may Jennifer Walters bring both mayhem and order to the court.

6. Untold: The Girlfriend Who Didn’t Exist (Netflix documentary)

Catfishing still somehow happens on a regular basis, but back in 2009, Heisman Trophy runner-up Manti Te’o caught a heck of a fish during his Notre Dame years. The woman in question turned into (obviously unbeknownst to him at the time) a fake girlfriend for the ages. For quite some time, details on this scandal remained shrouded in secrecy, but the moment has come for the airing of (justified) grievances. What emerges is a fascinating portrait of online romance that turns into anything but that. Some things never change!

5. selena + chef (HBO Max series)

Selena Gomez is crushing it, man. She’s not only starring in the Only Murders In The Building (and doing a fine job alongside two comedy legends, Steve Martin and Martin Short), but Selena has also (during the pandemic) pumped out several seasons where she virtually hangs with a real chef and learns more about how to cook delightful dishes to the benefit of her attending friends. The show now heads into Season 4 with no signs of slowing the heck down. The same goes for Selena’s career.

4. Day Shift (Netflix documentary)

These days, it feels like Netflix action flicks starring prominent names are a dime a dozen (although they cost Netflix a lot more than that). This one stands apart from the pack, though, as Jamie Foxx portrays a vampire hunter in an incredibly fun and ridiculously silly action comedy. Jamie’s character, Budd, ends up being disavowed from the vampire hunter’s union, which means that vamp killers are pretty much blue collar workers. If that doesn’t sound like a good time, then I don’t know how to help you.

3. Welcome To Wrexham (FX series on Hulu)

As legend has it, Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney didn’t really know each other but still decided (mid-pandemic) to go ahead and buy a soccer team together. This turned into their co-ownership of the Wrexham A.F.C. football club. They have no idea what they’re doing, so they took the next logical step: decided to make this journey into a TV show (as one does, especially in the age of content). Ted Lasso would be proud!

2. The Sandman (Netflix series)

There’s no guarantee that we’ll see a second season of this dark fantasy masterpiece even though Neil Gaiman is here for that, and the show’s been sitting at the top of the global streaming charts for weeks. In other words, get to streaming in order to send a message to Netflix. There’s even a bonus episode (featuring the “Calliope” story), so what are you waiting for? Get swept up in the tales of the Endless as well as Dream’s quest to recover his tools and repair all the damage of his century-long imprisonment. Also, get ready for the most beautiful TV episode and a very different (but spectacular) spin on the Death character from Kirby Howell-Baptiste.

1. House of the Dragon (HBO series on HBO Max)

A Season 2 renewal is already in the can for this prequel that (so far) is a worthy successor to Game of Thrones. We’ve already pegged some Contenders vs. Defenders, and the series has already dug into the Targaryen lineage with callbacks and echoes of iconic moments from the flagship series. Paddy Considine, Matt Smith, and Millie Alcock are killing the family dynamic so far, and the characters of the latter are perhaps a little too close, but we are talking about the Targaryens here. Enjoy this event TV all over again by streaming it to your fire-breathing heart’s content.

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Taylor Swift Unexpectedly Announces A New Album To End The 2022 MTV VMAs

There was some serious intrigue shortly before the 2022 MTV VMAs kicked off. There were rumors that Taylor Swift would be making an appearance, and she actually did, first showing up on the red carpet. It wasn’t clear at the time if she would be performing or just attending as a fan, but it turns out she was there to enjoy the show (well, and to accept the awards for Video Of The Year and Best Long Form Video).

Oh, and she announced a new album.

Swift accepted the final award of the night for Video Of The Year, and while doing so, she noted she had decided that if she won, she would announce that she has a new album on the way, set for release on October 21. Swift said, “I had sort of made up my mind that it might be a fun moment to tell you… my brand new album comes out October 21st. And I will tell you more at midnight.”

Swift had a big night with nominations, as she was one of the most-recognized artists with five nominations in total: Video Of The Year, Best Longform Video, Best Cinematography, Best Direction, and Best Editing, all for “All Too Well (10 Minute Version) (Taylor’s Version).”

It was a star-studded affair, as artists who performed during this year’s show included Nicki Minaj, Jack Harlow (both of whom are also co-hosting alongside LL Cool J), Lizzo, Blackpink, Bad Bunny, Måneskin, Anitta, Panic! At The Disco, Kane Brown, Marshmello x Khalid, Snoop Dogg with Eminem, J Balvin, and 2022 MTV VMAs Global Icon Award recipients Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

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Bad Bunny Takes To The (Fake) Beach To Perform ‘Tití Me Preguntó’ At The 2022 MTV VMAs

Still hot off the release of his fourth studio album, Un Verano Sin Ti, Bad Bunny just delivered a fire performance at the 2022 MTV Video Music Awards.

Taking the VMAs stage at Yankee Stadium in the middle of his World’s Hottest Tour, Bad Bunny performed “Tití Me Preguntó,” on a beach set-up in the middle of a set designed to resemble the towns of his home country, Puerto Rico. Surrounded by Puerto Rican and Latinx dancers, Bad Bunny radiated fiery Puerto Rican energy, with everyone in the audience dancing and singing every word.

Bad Bunny was nominated for two awards tonight, including Best Latin for “Tití Me Preguntó,” and Artist Of The Year, winning the latter. He was given his moon person following his performance.

Aside from Bad Bunny, Nicki Minaj, Jack Harlow (both of whom are also co-hosting alongside LL Cool J), Lizzo, Blackpink, Måneskin, Anitta, Panic! At The Disco, Kane Brown, Marshmello x Khalid, Snoop Dogg with Eminem, J Balvin, and 2022 MTV VMAs Global Icon Award recipients Red Hot Chili Peppers, also performed during this year’s show

Since its release this past May, Un Verano Sin Ti, has topped the Billboard 200 chart for nine non-consecutive weeks.

Check out Bad Bunny’s performance above.

Some artists covered here are Warner Music artists. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

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VMAs Co-Host Nicki Minaj Couldn’t Help Shouting Out Her Loyal Barbz

Last year, when Doja Cat hosted the MTV VMAs, she shook up fans’ expectations, having some fun with her fashion in addition to her gravity-defying performance duties. Her approach to hosting left some wondering how the show could top her performance as host since it was so over-the-top throughout the show. This year, MTV decided to shake things up again by having three stars sharing co-hosting duties — or rather, emceeing duties — and matching up Jack Harlow, LL Cool J, and Nicki Minaj to master the ceremonies. While LL really did bring the cool and Jack Harlow teamed up with his buddy Druski to give props to performer Kane Brown, Nicki used her time to shout out her Barbz, who gave the same energy right back. She gave a “Barbie wellness check,” asking fans in they looked good and felt good, receiving a raucous response.

In addition to emceeing the show overall, both Jack and Nicki were also billed as performers. While Jack had plenty of material to work with from the past year, including two No. 1 hits — his own “First Class” and Lil Nas X’s “Industry Baby” — Nicki, who is nominated for a Video Vanguard Award, polled her fans for a medley of her greatest hits, including her own newly released No. 1, “Super Freaky Girl.” Meanwhile, Harlow, along with Kendrick Lamar and Lil Nas X, leads all nominees with seven nominations, including Video Of The Year and Artist Of The Year.

Check out Nicki MInaj hosting above.

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The Sun Stole Game 1 In Chicago Despite A Historic Candace Parker Performance

The first day of semifinals action in the WNBA Playoffs delivered in a big way on Sunday, as both games went down to the wire and both road teams pulling out gritty, tough victories.

After the Storm took Game 1 in Las Vegas, it was the Sun’s turn to play spoiler in Chicago, as they fought off a legendary Candace Parker performance to earn a 68-63 win to steal homecourt in the series. Early on it was clear we were in for a slugfest, which seemed to bode well for Connecticut, as playing a slower, more physical style plays into their hands. Leading the way for the Sun to start was Alyssa Thomas, as the veteran went to work inside to push Connecticut to an 19-16 lead after the first quarter.

On the other side, it was Candace Parker doing a bit of everything as she had nine points and eight rebounds in the first half, carrying the load for the Sky alongside Kahleah Copper, as Chicago tied things up at 34 in a low-scoring first half.

The Sun would take control in the third as they finally started to see some jump shots go down on a night where neither team had their best shooting stroke.

Connecticut led by eight going into the fourth quarter, but the Sky would fight back in the fourth to take a one-point lead, once again led by Parker and Copper, who shared one of the moments of the game with Courtney Williams as neither player would let go of the ball after a fourth quarter tie-up, earning technicals in the process.

The Sun would push back in front by three thanks to buckets by Brionna Jones and Thomas.

Fittingly, it was Parker who hit the game-tying three to knot things up again at 60-60

Jones would hit another layup to push the Sun in front, but Emma Meeseman hit her second three of the night to give Chicago a one-point edge with just over two minutes to play. That would be the last time the Sky scored, however, and a Jonquel Jones bucket ended up being the game-winner for the Sun, as their defense would prevent the Sky from getting clean looks at the rim in the final two minutes, with a pair of free throws and a runout layup from DeWanna Bonner icing the game.

Parker was the unquestionable star of the game, putting up 19 points, 18 rebounds, six blocks, five assists, and four steals on the night, doing everything she could to carry the Sky to a win — and making history in the process.

But she simply didn’t get enough help on this night, with Copper scoring 13, but only four in the second half, and Meeseman as the only other member of the Sky to reach double figures with 10 points. Quigley and Vandersloot went a combined 5-for-18 from the field for 12 points as pretty much non-factors, and that is going to have to change if the Sky are going to turn things around in this series.

On the other side, the Sun were led by their bigs. Bonner led the team with 15 points (4-of-16 shooting), nine rebounds, five assists, and three steals, while Thomas, Jonquel Jones, and Brionna Jones all had 12 points each — Thomas also had 10 rebounds and seven assists. That neither backcourt could get going is a testament to each’s ball pressure and defensive acumen, but in this series, games that turn into frontcourt battles are going to lean towards the Sun, even with how great Parker can be.

Going forward, the Sky will have to figure out how to get their guards some quality looks early on the perimeter, and find a way to be better on the glass for everyone other than Parker, as they were outrebounded by 11 in Game 1.

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Anitta Delivers A Sexy Performance Of ‘Envolver’ At The 2022 MTV VMAs

Fresh off the release of the deluxe version of her album, Versions Of Me, Brazilian popstar Anitta took the stage at the 2022 MTV Video Music Awards. Her first time performing at the VMAs, Anitta performed “Envolver,” surrounded by men, as she let loose and danced freely.

“Did you think I wasn’t gonna shake my ass tonight,” she asked at the end of the song, before proceeding to do just that.

Earlier on the black carpet, Anitta teased a “Brazilian moment,” which would take place during her performance. Shortly after “Envolver,” she and her dancers danced to Brazilian hit, “Macumbinha” by Dinho DJ and Fu DJ, and briefly a short portion of “Lobby.

This year has been a big one for Anitta. She has collaborated with artists like Quavo, Missy Elliott, Khalid, and Saweetie, and Maluma, and has delivered iconic visuals for her songs like “Lobby” and “El Que Espera.

Tonight, Anitta is nominated for Best Latin for “Envolver.” The song went viral on TikTok this year, in the form of clips of the user imitating one of Anitta’s signature moves — hitting the ground and shaking her booty. In an interview with Billboard, Anitta revealed this type of energy comes naturally to her.

“I’m like this 24/7,” she said. “I’m not pretending to be like this and I think that’s part of the song’s success. If I had an actual strategy, it wouldn’t have worked.”

Check out the performance above.

Anitta is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.

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‘House Of The Dragon’ Contenders Vs. Pretenders: ‘The Rogue Prince’

On this week of “Succession but with more dragons,” a kingdom begins to rot, a friendship is ruined, a crustacean terrorizes Westeros, and Matt Smith acts like the messy little bitch he is.

House of the Dragon’s second episode, “The Rogue Prince,” shows the chaos that comes from settling on a girl as heir to the Iron Throne. While Rhaenyra does her best to lead, her father avoids his own royal duties by refusing to take a wife, and her uncle, Prince Daemon, throws a temper tantrum that puts the entire realm at risk. Naturally, this changes things regarding where the show’s major players stand in the quickly-expanding line for the big sword seat.

Here’s where everyone sits after this week’s mayhem.

The Pretenders

King Viserys

Just like Succession’s own strung-out Techno Gatsby, King Viserys seems more content to hang out with his side piece and watch his council implode on itself than actually rule. The most he does this episode – besides flirt with his daughter’s best friend (ew) and entertain the possibility of marrying a 12-year-old (double ew) – is rant about his brother, obnoxiously mourn his dead wife, and whine that his teenage daughter doesn’t think he’s cool anymore. As refreshing as it is to see a king actually hesitant to go to war, Viserys is causing both his allies and enemies to doubt the strength of his house by not acting on this threat in the Step Stones. We’ve reached a real “sh*t or get off the pot” moment with this guy, haven’t we?

Corlys Velaryon aka The Sea Snake

Corlys Velaryon’s worst trait is he’s just too everything. Too quick to anger. Too obvious in his thirst for power and status. Too desperate for the king to go to war on his behalf. A good poker player, he is decidedly not. Don’t get us wrong, we enjoy the hell out of every contentious council meeting he somehow always seems to instigate but, as much as he credits the drive from being a “second son” for his success, he could learn a thing or two about patience and stealth when it comes to his play for the throne.

Prince Daemon Targaryen

Matt Smith continues to be the best damn thing about this show – besides its flying, fire-breathing reptiles – and he’s on his bullsh*t once again as Daemon does his best to get his big brother’s attention. Some might see his six-month siege of Dragonstone, his declaration that he’s the true heir to the Seven Kingdoms, his marriage announcement, and impending “fatherhood,” and his theft of his dead nephew’s promised dragon’s egg as an act of sedition, but those people would be crusty old idiots named Otto Hightower whose detachment from his own daughter has allowed him to pimp her out to his best friend. No, Daemon doesn’t truly care about ruling, he just wants some validation from his big bro – and, also, the freedom to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. Honestly, same.

The Contenders

Princess Rhaenyra Targaryen

Poor Rhaenyra. It’s clear that, despite everyone’s assertion that she was born with the wrong “hardware,” she’s got more stones than any of the wrinkled ballsacks sitting on her father’s council. She’s been named as his heir but certainly doesn’t feel like one, and having her aunt remind her that the same lords who bent their knees would happily set her kingdom on fire should her father die an untimely death, isn’t helping matters. But, despite being betrayed by her bestie and threatened by her uncle, Rhaenyra managed to do a better job of ruling than her own father did in this episode, thwarting Daemon’s plans, encouraging her father to take another wife, and earning the respect of a powerful ally in Corlys Velayron. It’s clear Rhaenyra would make an excellent queen, but the jury’s still out on whether she’ll ever sit on the Iron Throne.

Otto Hightower, The Hand of the King

We know that last episode we compared Otto Hightower to Tywin Lannister but, this week, the guy puts Littlefinger to shame with his scheming. Instead of giving the king worthwhile counsel, he spends most of the episode posturing and positioning his house closer to the throne. After helping to thwart a potential match between House Targaryen and House Velaryon, Otto encourages his own daughter to visit the king the night he leaves to handle Daemon’s uprising. So yeah, this guy won’t be winning any Father of the Year awards anytime soon, but he might just live to see his offspring birth a king so, he’s still winning something.

Princess Rhaenys Targaryen

One thing we can say for certain is this: If Rhaenys Targaryen had been named queen, none of this f*ckery would be afoot. As it is, she’s doing her best to position her house in closer proximity to the Iron Throne. Part of that plan includes quite ruthlessly sacrificing her younger daughter to further her own aims, but another involves sowing doubt in Rhaenyra over whether she can do the job of leading, and if she even wants to. And, when she’s not making power plays, she’s simply minding her business, drinking her wine, and enjoying watching the men in her life peacock their way around court. Cersei Lannister would approve.

Alicent Hightower

With friends like Alicent Hightower, who really needs enemies. The girl keeps batting her lashes at the king, having secret lunches complete with history lessons on Old Valyria with him while her best friend grieves the death of her mother and worries over her inheritance. We understand Alicent is limited in her options – if her father tells her to do something, she’s got to do it – but girl, at least tell your friend what’s going on. Something like, “Yeah, so your dad and I have been hanging out more. It’s nothing serious at the moment. He’s just been showing me his Legos and talking about you mostly.” As it is though, this Becky with the good hair is doing a bang-up job of earning her crown. Hate the game, not the player, right?

Wound Watch

*Alexa, play Sheryl Crow’s ‘The First Cut Is The Deepest’*

Thankfully there are no new gaping holes in King Viserys’ aging flesh this week but that pesky pinky finger seems determined to fall off. At the moment, what started as a nick from his throne has grown into a rotting appendage that might soon need to be amputated. It’s a metaphor for how his kingdom is rotting and being feasted on by power-hungry maggots but it’s also just plain gross. Work on your hygiene, man.