Month: September 2022

Online reviews live in a paradoxical world of their own. Their credibility is questionable at best—with positive reviews being either incentivized (if not downright fake) and negative ones being, let’s face it, kind of bonkers. And yet, despite their blatant flaws, a large number of people still use them to influence their purchases.

One thing can be said of negative reviews however: They can be endlessly entertaining.

You might remember seeing actors “performing” impassioned, dramatic (and therefore hilarious) readings of one-star Yelp reviews a few years ago. These videos by “Gotta Kid to Feed” went viral back in 2015, and have recently been resurfacing once again. Why? Because they’re never not funny.

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Take this one-star review of Dunkin’ Donuts read by actress Therese Plummer, for example. Plummer is a seasoned voiceover actress and lends her talents well in this parody to poke fun at just how intense—and maybe borderline psychotic—some reviews can be.

Unlike the scathing review of Dunkin’ Donuts, comments that flooded this video were overwhelmingly positive.

“I never found a 1 star yelp review so riveting!! “ one person wrote.

Another added, “Jesus, there is serious anger in her eyes, this woman is amazing.”

Here’s another one for O’Learys Restaurant in Saint Louis, Missouri, performed by actor Joe Plummer (oddly enough, I don’t think the two Plummer actors are related).

Joe’s character graciously gave a three-star review for the restaurant, since the food was “fresh.” It was the stabbing he didn’t care for.

Yes, he would “consider” coming back despite the stabbing. It’s like Nicole Kidman says at the beginning of every movie at AMC now, “heartbreak feels good in a place like this.” O’Leary’s was just that good.

Here’s another gem of a bad review, this time for San Francisco’s Presidio Cafe. Recognize that face? It’s actress Alysia Reiner from “Orange Is the New Black,” “Blue Bloods” and “Ms. Marvel.”

Apparently Reiner’s character “enjoyed their lunch” at the cafe, but disaster struck after a wayward bird attacked her on her way to the parking lot. Clearly the cafe’s fault.

“The management shirked their duties by not helping me more,” Reiner laments woefully. You can almost catch a single, dignified tear in her eye. She will NOT be dining there. Any. More.

“I know how she feels one time I stepped in a puddle and the nearest store refused to buy me new shoes,” one person joked.

“I guess there’s a good reason Hitchcock’s ‘The Birds’ takes place in San Francisco,” quipped another.

Further proof that this art form will never go out of style, but merely evolve for modern times: a five-part TikTok series in which Britt, a woman who goes by the username @the.localhedgewitch, brilliantly recreates a negative review from 10 years ago for Bath & Body Works has been going viral online.

@the.localhedgewitch I knew that one day this would somehow come in handy #bathandbodyworks ♬ original sound – Britt

Rather than performing a dramatic reading, Britt recites the review alongside the original video while perfectly capturing every single tiny gesture and mannerism. Seriously, her method should be taught in acting classes.

OK, so maybe online reviews aren’t exactly trustworthy. But at least we can have a good laugh at humanity because of them.

As we near the 2022 midterm elections, we approach the midway point of Joe Biden’s first term as president of the United States. When Biden took office, the nation was in turmoil. The COVID-19 pandemic raged due to the previous administration’s inability to confront the issue. The country was in shock after the January 6 riot at the Capitol building, which put countless members of congress’s lives in danger and democracy in peril.

The nation desperately needed a new commitment to climate change after the previous administration rolled back climate protections. America was also on shaky ground economically after the pandemic brought unemployment to its highest rate since the Great Depression and businesses struggled to stay afloat amid lockdowns and labor shortages.

Joe Biden promised steady, bi-partisan leadership at a time of intense political division and halfway through his first term, he’s kept that promise.

“Biden has governed from the center, remained sensitive to important issues affecting voters on the left and right and achieved a moderate level of congressional bipartisanship,” Thomas C. Oakes wrote in the Chicago Sun-Times.

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Biden’s presidency has been transformative, although it didn’t appear to be that way in the beginning.

“Seriously, it has been amazing to watch the media narrative on the Biden administration change,” Paul Krugman wrote in The New York Times in August. “Just a few weeks ago President Biden was portrayed as hapless, on the edge of presiding over a failed presidency. Then came the Inflation Reduction Act, a big employment report and some good news on inflation, and suddenly we’re hearing a lot about his accomplishments.”

Here are 23 of Joe Biden’s greatest accomplishments as president of the United States.

1. Passed the $1.2 trillion bipartisan infrastructure package to increase investment in the national network of bridges and roads, airports, public transport and national broadband internet, as well as waterways and energy systems.

2. Helped get more than 500 million life-saving COVID-19 vaccinations in the arms of Americans through the American Rescue Plan.

3. Stopped a 30-year streak of federal inaction on gun violence by signing the Bipartisan Safer Communities Act that created enhanced background checks, closed the “boyfriend” loophole and provided funds for youth mental health.

4. Made a $369 billion investment in climate change, the largest in American history, through the Inflation Reduction Act of 2022.

5. Ended the longest war in American history by pulling the troops out of Afghanistan.

6. Provided $10,000 to $20,000 in college debt relief to Americans with loans who make under $125,000 a year.

7. Cut child poverty in half through the American Rescue Plan.

8. Capped prescription drug prices at $2,000 per year for seniors on Medicare through the Inflation Reduction Act.

9. Passed the COVID-19 relief deal that provided payments of up to $1,400 to many struggling U.S. citizens while supporting renters and increasing unemployment benefits.

10. Achieved historically low unemployment rates after the pandemic caused them to skyrocket.

11. Imposed a 15% minimum corporate tax on some of the largest corporations in the country, ensuring that they pay their fair share, as part of the historic Inflation Reduction Act.

12. Recommitted America to the global fight against climate change by rejoining the Paris Agreement.

13. Strengthened the NATO alliance in support of Ukraine after the Russian invasion by endorsing the inclusion of world military powers Sweden and Finland.

14. Authorized the assassination of the Al Qaeda terrorist Ayman al-Zawahiri, who became head of the organization after the death of Osama bin Laden.

15. Gave Medicare the power to negotiate prescription drug prices through the Inflation Reduction Act while also reducing government health spending.

16. Held Vladimir Putin accountable for his invasion of Ukraine by imposing stiff economic sanctions.

17. Boosted the budget of the Internal Revenue Service by nearly $80 billion to reduce tax evasion and increase revenue.

18. Created more jobs in one year (6.6 million) than any other president in U.S. history.

19. Reduced healthcare premiums under the Affordable Care Act by $800 a year as part of the American Rescue Plan.

20. Signed the PACT Act to address service members’ exposure to burn pits and other toxins.

21. Signed the CHIPS and Science Act to strengthen American manufacturing and innovation.

22. Reauthorized the Violence Against Women Act through 2027.

23. Halted all federal executions after the previous administration reinstated them after a 17-year freeze.

There are a lot of great benefits to companies adopting the four-day workweek. Studies show it can help employees, the bottom line and the environment. That’s why companies across the globe have been flirting with the idea to see if they can pull it off without jeopardizing productivity.

One of the most significant benefits of switching to the four-day workweek is that it increases the availability of talent because more people want to work for companies that give them a 72-hour weekend.

Companies with four-day workweeks often don’t see a loss in productivity because there is a tipping point where as employees work more hours, their productivity decreases because they suffer from burnout.

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Finally, if four-day workweeks are widely adopted it would be great for combating climate change. A report by the University of Massachusetts Amherst found that a 10% reduction in work hours could result in “drops in ecological footprint, carbon footprint and carbon dioxide emissions by 12.1%, 14.6% and 4.2%, respectively.”

In 2018, businessman and founder of New Zealand trust company Perpetual Guardian Andrew Barnes created 4 Day Work Global, a nonprofit organization that studied the effects of taking an extra day off each week.

“We recognized well before the pandemic that the five-day week is no longer fit for purpose, and as we trialed and studied the four-day week it became clear that this is a necessary part of the solution to restore climate balance, among many other documented benefits,” Barnes told 7 News.

The results of 4 Day Work Global’s first trial were overwhelmingly positive. Forty-six percent of companies said productivity was the same, 34% reported a slight improvement and 15% said it was “significantly” better. Overall, 88% of companies said they are likely to continue the four-day workweek after the end of the trial.

Intrigued by 4 Day Work Global’s findings, Denis Moriarty, founder of Our Community, an Australian social enterprise, switched his company to a four-day workweek in August and he’s over the moon with the results.

According to a report in the Daily Mail, his staff is happier and still 100% productive.

“They’re loving it. They’ve got their lives back,” he told Daily Mail. “It’s been good for the workplace, good for employees and the company. There is no way we will go back to five days.”

What’s interesting about the experiment is that the employees are paid the same amount to work 20% fewer hours and are just as productive. The company was able to accommodate the same work in less time by shortening its meetings and because the employees are better rested. Some companies that have switched to the four-day workweek have added more hours to the average day to even things out, but Moriarty won’t be doing that any time soon.

“I don’t think you should be calling it a 4-day workweek if you cram more hours in those four days,” he said.

The five-day workweek has been the standard for most workers for around 100 years. Over that time, the work we do has changed drastically. So, isn’t it about time that we reevaluate our work habits as well?

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In a follow-up video, Vance revealed that Panda’s motivation might be more food-oriented than anything else.

“This is 100% my fault,” the onscreen text reads as Vance tries to wrangle Panda. “I took him to the dementia unit to visit the patients. They loved him and gave him carrots. Now he tries to find ways to get loose and run into town and ends up back there.”

@maija.vance Replying to @mercury.n.the.snail #therapyhorse #horses #palominopaint ♬ original sound – MAIJA

The best part is seeing Panda’s reaction to all this. Clearly he doesn’t see what all the fuss is about.

Horses do have an astonishingly keen memory. Numerous studies have shown they recall people and places with pinpointed specificity.

“Talk about ‘never forgetting’ 😂😂 he only forgets what woah means but not where he got carrots,” one person quipped.

Where it might be true that Panda’s actions were solely fueled by snacks, his recognition prowess is certainly applaudable. And people considered it a sweet moment, as chaotic as it was.

“As someone who works in a nursing home I can guarantee you the residents love it whenever they catch a glimpse and he is the talk of the town. Also personally my job satisfaction would be a lot higher if I had a random horse that occasionally appeared,” one person commented.

If you want to see even more of Panda’s shenanigans, you can follow him and his brother, Slim Shady, on TikTok and Instagram. Who knows what trouble they’ll get into next to score a good carrot?

Earlier this year, it was announced that Full Frontal With Samantha Bee would not be returning to TBS. This left Samantha Bee, the world’s only good late-night host (and one-time Jeopardy! hopeful) without anywhere to display her various political roasts and witty commentary.

Then this week, it was announced that Trevor Noah would be leaving The Daily Show after seven years. The announcement came soon after photos of Noah on an alleged date with pop star Dua Lipa hit the internet, though those two are probably unrelated, right? (Just having some fun!) Either way, there is now a vacant seat at the Daily Show desk, and some fans think that it’s time for a woman to take it.

Bee spent 12 years on The Daily Show before heading over to her own show on TBS in 2016. She was the first woman to host her own late-night satire show, so bringing her back to host The Daily Show would bring everything full circle! Many Twitter users seemed to agree that it’s time for Bee to step in for Noah.

In the past, Bee has been open about not seeing eye to eye with Comedy Central after Jon Stewart left the show, so maybe they’ll listen up and decide to have a woman as host.

Maluma is going back to his roots in his new music video for “Junio” that was released today (September 30). The Colombian superstar tries to win over the woman of his dreams in his hometown of Medellín.

“Junio” marks Maluma’s first new single since the release of his album The Love & Sex Tape in June. While that LP was a reggaeton-filled romp, he taps into a more pop-driven sound for “Junio.” In the sunny love song, Maluma uses Colombian slang to serenade his love interest. “Qué chimba que fueras mi novia,” he sings, which translates to, “How awesome would it be if you were my girlfriend.”

Maluma is not just embracing his Colombian roots in the song but also in the “Junio” video. He returned to Medellín and co-directed it alongside César “Tes” Pimienta and Juan Felipe Zuleta. Maluma’s own Royalty Films also produced the scenic visual that highlights the beauty of his hometown. His love interest turns out to be deaf, which explains why she was missing all his flirtatious cues. Once that’s figured out, they share a romantic dance under the night sky.

Maluma also performed “Junio” at the 2022 Billboard Latin Music Awards last night. He brought Medellín to Miami with his swoon-worthy performance. After a bump-and-grind moment on the stage, he shared a kiss with his girlfriend Susana Gómez.

Last Friday, Maluma launched the fall collection of his fashion line Royalty by Maluma. He designed the outfits for men and women in a partnership with Reunited Clothing. The fall collection is now available in Macy’s stores and on the Macy’s website.

Lizzo made Sasha Flute proud. The classically trained flutist has remained loyal to her trusty flute named after Beyoncé’s alter ego, Sasha Fierce, but the flute bragged to its 317,000 Instagram followers about Lizzo playing former US president James Madison’s 200-year-old crystal flute at the Library of Congress’s Great Hall earlier this week.

Carla Hayden, the first-ever Black woman (the first non-white man, really) to be sworn in as the Librarian of Congress, tweeted at Lizzo last Friday (September 23) ahead of Lizzo’s headlining Special star’s tour stop in DC, inviting her to visit the Library of Congress and its 1,800 flutes — the largest in the world. “IM COMING CARLA! AND IM PLAYIN THAT CRYSTAL FLUTE!!!!!” Lizzo responded.

Madison served as the fourth-ever President of the United States from 1809-17. According to The Guardian, the crystal flute in question was customized in 1813 for Madison by French watchmaker and mechanic Claude Laurent ahead of Madison’s second inauguration.

Lizzo kept the historical moment going on stage at DC’s Capitol One Arena, where she played a few notes on Madison’s crystal flute while twerking and fully geeking out.

“It’s crystal. It’s like playing out of a wine glass, b*tch, so be patient,” she told her adoring audience in a video posted to Instagram. “B*tch, I just twerked and played James Madison’s crystal flute from the 1800s! We just made history tonight! Thank you to the Library of Congress for preserving our history and making history freaking cool. History is freaking cool, you guys!”

Lizzo couldn’t help but double-post about it, noting that she’s “the first & only person to play this presidential crystal flute” that is “literally an heirloom.”

Lizzo’s affinity for flutes also went viral in May for playing a $55,000 flute on the Met Gala red carpet. And the recent Emmy winner has had plenty to celebrate in the months since. Special, her first album in three years, dropped in July, the same month that lead single “About Damn Time” peaked at No. 1 on the Billboard Hot 100. It is her second-ever No. 1 single behind 2019’s “Truth Hurts.”

The Special tour kicked off on September 23 at FLA Live Arena in Sunrise, Florida, and hit Tampa before dazzling in DC. Lizzo’s next show is tonight (September 30) at Boston’s TD Garden. See her remaining tour schedule below.

09/30 — Boston @ TD Garden
10/02 — New York City @ Madison Square Garden
10/06 — Detroit @ Little Caesars Arena
10/07 — Toronto @ Scotiabank Arena
10/11 — St. Paul, Minn. @ Xcel Energy Arena
10/14 — Kansas City, Mo. @ T-Mobile Center
10/16 — Chicago @ United Center
10/18 — Indianapolis, Ind. @ Gainbridge Fieldhouse
10/20 — Charlotte, NC @ Spectrum Center
10/22 — Atlanta @ State Farm Arena
10/23 — Nashville @ Bridgestone Arena
10/25 — Austin, Texas @Moody Center
10/26 — Houston @ Toyota Center
10/28 — Dallas @ American Airlines Center
10/31 — Denver @ Ball Arena
11/02 — Salt Lake City, Utah @ Vivint Arena
11/04 — Portland, Ore. @ Moda Center
11/07 — Vancouver @ Rogers Arena
11/09 — Seattle @ Climate Pledge Arena
11/12 — San Francisco @ Chase Center
11/18 — Los Angeles @ Kia Forum

Garrison Brothers Cowboy Bourbon has only been around for about for eight years, but it’s already one of the most beloved and sought-after bottle drops on the yearly bourbon calendar. Folks line up overnight to grab one of the only 1,000 bottles released at the Hye, Texas distillery, which happened last weekend. Naturally, every bottle was gone as quickly as people could file into the distillery after the gates opened.

If you happened to miss that bottle launch, don’t worry, you’re still in luck. This year, 8,600 bottles are being released on October 1st, which means that it’s high time for a bottle review.

Before we dive into what’s actually in this bottle and how to buy it (I’ll cover that below too), let’s look at where this whiskey is made. Garrison Brothers Distillery is set amongst the old oaks, Texas Longhorn cows, coyotes, and scrub of Texas Hill Country. The grains the distillery pulls for their mash are all locally grown in Texas and include sweeter, food-grade white corn (most bourbon is made with yellow corn). Moreover, the water used in every step of the process is collected rainwater that’s stored all over the 60+ acre property. Long mashing (boiling grains to extract sugars), longer fermentation (letting yeasts turn those sugars into alcohol/beer), and low-and-slow antique still distillation all add to the terroir of Texas present in the juice made in Hye.

Then there’s the aging that’s done on-site as well. Most Garrison Brothers’ bourbons are rested in standard 53-gallon barrels (Cowboy Bourbon actually isn’t but I’ll get into that below) and stored in a “palletized” system. That means the barrels are stacked on pallets on their heads and then stacked three or four pallets high in a barrel house (this is largely for easier access to barrels as they age).

Finally, the weather in Hye can range from below 50 degrees at night to above 100 during the day in a single 24-hour period. That temperature swing means the barrels are constantly expanding and contracting a lot, which then means that the juice in those barrels is in contact with the wood way more than, say, Scotland where the weather is far milder and has far less of a temperature swing. That, in turn, means that there’s just more of those wood sugars going into the whiskey more quickly and deeply, which means that you need an expert master distiller at the helm to make sure things aren’t overcooked. Luckily, Donnis Todd is just that expert for Garrison Brothers and cares deeply about every step of this process.

All of that adds up to make Garrison (and several other Texas whiskeys) extremely unique and very much driven by being made in Texas. In short, it’s not just a gimmick, Texas whiskey really is its own thing from top to bottom.

Okay, let’s get into what’s in this year’s Cowboy Bourbon bottle!

Also Read: The Top 5 UPROXX Bourbon Posts Of The Last Six Months

• We Blind Tasted A Whole Bunch Of $30-60 Bourbons To See If Any Could Beat Weller
• We Put A Whole Bunch Of Bourbons To A Giant Blind Test And Discovered Some Absolute Gems
• We Blind Tasted Classic Bourbons And Were Shocked By The Winner
• The Best-Known Basic Bottles Of Bourbon, Blind Tasted And Ranked
• All The Double Gold-Winning Straight Bourbons From This Year’s San Francisco World Spirits Competition

Garrison Bros. Cowboy Bourbon

ABV: 67.4%

Average Price: $249

The Whiskey:

Cowboy Bourbon is Garrison Brother’s signature bottle of whiskey. This year’s release was made from 118 hand-selected 25-gallon barrels, aged between eight and nine years. Master Distiller Donnis Todd went through all of their small-format barrels over the course of the year to find a dozen or so that he thought met the high standards of Cowboy Bourbon without filtering or cutting with water. That makes this a very as-is representation of what makes Garrison Bros. special.

The Bottle:

The bottle is a classic large format whiskey bottle. It’s dipped in hot wax to seal and comes in a plush wooden box. Overall, this has a great presentation that works both as a bar cart centerpiece and as a great gift.

Tasting Notes:

The nose opens with a rush of sharp cinnamon bark wrapped up with old saddle leather, freshly fried apple fritters, walnuts, old cedar bark braids twisted up with dried wild sage, and a hint of dried yellow mustard flowers with an underlying sense of maple syrup over pecan waffles. The palate leans into the spice with a hint of allspice and ginger next to apple pie filling with walnuts, brandy-soaked raisins, and plenty of brown sugar next, next to spiced Christmas cake dipped in dark chocolate sauce.

The end takes its time and meanders through salted caramel, stewed plums with star anise and sharp cinnamon, a hint of vanilla Dr. Pepper, and a mild sense of chocolate-cinnamon-spiced chewing tobacco buzziness with a warming Texas hug that’s part Hot Tamales and part chili-spiced green tea.

This felt like a journey through an old rickhouse that had a cake and candy shop in it. It was heavy and hot yet somehow soft and almost light on the palate. It was nuanced but never overwrought or exhausting. It’s perfectly balanced.

Bottom Line:

I really like this neat, but it’s a lot (especially for a beginner palate). I’d recommend taking your time with a little water to let it bloom in the glass. The creaminess of the dark chocolate and vanilla really amp up. It also shines over a single rock; the creaminess pops alongside an almost bitter espresso and an old oak stave note comes into play.

Ranking:

95/100: This is a damn near perfect whiskey. It’s hot though and you can feel that heat (with purpose) which is all that’s holding it back from a perfect score.

Where To Buy:

8,600 bottles will be released across the U.S. in 42 states. The suggested retail price is $249.99. Check-in with your local liquor store to find out if they stock it before October 1st.

The only thing scarier than a horde of zombies? Network notes. The Walking Dead returns this weekend for its final eight episodes, with the series finale coming on November 20. Deaths are inevitable because, well, have you seen The Walking Dead? There’s a lot of death. Also, the episode is titled “Rest in Peace.” Somehow, they’ll find a way to bring back Glenn, kill him for a second time, and break our hearts again.

In an interview with Radio Times, showrunner Angela Kang discussed the final season, including how “our intended final scene is not the final scene anymore,” she said. “I won’t go into that now, so early in the process, but sometimes, even after you’ve shot things, it changes in the post-production process. It’s a living work, as we go.”

Kang said she and her writers “are responsible for trying to map out the story and come up with a pitch for it, but then – with any show, but especially a show like this – there’s a lot of people that are gonna look at what you’re doing.” That includes the producers, the studio, and the network, as well as the cast.

It’s unclear whether the original final scene will appear elsewhere in the episode — or whether, say, AMC wanted it removed entirely — but “let’s just say that things changed,” Kang teased. The 17-or-so spinoffs in production might have something to do with it, too.

The Walking Dead returns on October 2.

(Via Radio Times)

During a recent profile in The Guardian, Paramore spoke about the band’s upcoming album This Is Why, which arrives in early 2023. Along with discussing everything from the album’s influences to why the band took a break following their last record in 2017, the profile also confirms that lead singer Hayley Williams and guitarist Taylor York are dating.

The profile notes that the members “regard each other with a sort of fond awe,” before elaborating that Williams and York “confirmed rumours that they are dating, but declined to comment further.”

Williams had previously been married to New Found Glory’s Chad Gilbert before announcing their divorce in 2017. Paramore fans had began speculating a relationship between York and Williams in 2020, as she released certain solo songs that seemed to allude to it.

The closing track on Williams’ debut solo album, “Crystal Clear” ends with the line, “Friends or lovers / (Clear) Won’t give into the fear.” Genius notes it as another love song, before connecting it to her other speculative track.

“Taken,” which also appears on her album Petals For Armor, very clearly confirms that Williams was dating, but didn’t reveal who. “It’s easy to see how people stop believing / ‘Cause everyone I know’s got a broken heart / And though I’m still picking up my pieces / He makes me wanna give it another shot,” she sings.

Check out a few Paramore fan reactions about Williams and York below.

Paramore is a Warner Music artist. Uproxx is an independent subsidiary of Warner Music Group.